ACHP 613 Your Privates Can Kills You, Pandas Are Back and All The Latest Cigar News

Episode Summary

Episode 613 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast opens with Mike "BDP" Palmer, Mikey Szczepankevich and engineer Phil McGuffey working through listener comments from the CH Pod Lounge before Mikey drops the episode's biggest piece of news: he got a phone call from Carlito Fuente himself, placed while Carlito was sitting with Ronnie from Secreto Cigars. The two cleared the air after Mikey's viral criticism of a recent Fuente release blew up online, and Mikey announces he's pulling the planned "boycott" shirt and moving on. The conversation turns into a broader riff on why the show speaks bluntly in an industry where few people do, the value of friends who tell you the hard truth, and why nobody around a brand seems willing to say "maybe rethink this." They also react to a clip of DJ Khaled smoking an Opus X at home, and thank Simply Stogies for covering the story.

The first half is classic off-the-rails ACHP news: a British-Nigerian influencer who died after a filler-based enlargement procedure abroad (a cautionary tale about medical tourism), China's giant panda population rebound and Palmer's panda conspiracy algorithm, a Florida man arrested at a park with a homemade pool-noodle device plus meth charges, and a rundown of Minnesota State Fair attendance numbers and the fair's top-ranked foods after Mikey's family trip — the Hmong corndog, elote tots, cheesecake wontons and crackling corn ribs.

Cigar news covers Prometheus shipping new diadema vitolas across four lines — Opus X Rare Black, Opus X Rare Purple, God of Fire Never Back Down and God of Fire Serie KKP Special Reserva — including the detail that the old "Purple Rain" branding is being retired on the new sizes in favor of Carlitos X Rare Purple, while the original 6 7/8 x 44 torpedo keeps the Purple Rain band. They also break down Fifth Avenue, the German/Austrian/Polish Habanos distributor, pausing orders and deliveries over banking and sanctions issues tied to shareholder Chen Zhi, the Prince Group figure with a stake in Habanos who was transferred from Cambodia to China and faces the death penalty over an alleged crypto "pig butchering" operation.

The episode closes with two rounds of "What's the Score," guessing Half Wheel review scores: Patrick Lagreid's take on the Rocky Patel Sapphire Corona Gorda (box-pressed 6x46, Mexican San Andrés wrapper, Honduran binder, Nicaraguan filler — 88) and Charlie Minato's review of the Kyle Gellis–made Gellis Family Cigars Heritage No. 50 (5x50, San Andrés wrapper, Nicaraguan binder and filler — 89), with notes on its complexity but inconsistent construction. Next up for the crew: the Tatuaje Havana VI.

In This Episode

1. 01
   Listener Comments from the CH Pod Lounge
   The crew reads YouTube and lounge comments on masks, merch ideas, polos, hoodies and a possible CH Pod coin.
2. 02
   Carlito Fuente Calls the Show
   Mikey recounts an unexpected phone call from Carlito Fuente that squashed the beef over his viral criticism, and announces the boycott shirt is dead.
3. 03
   DJ Khaled Smokes an Opus X
   A social clip of DJ Khaled with an Opus X sparks a discussion about why celebrity cigar moments matter for the industry.
4. 04
   Medical Tourism Gone Wrong
   A news story about an influencer who died after a filler enlargement procedure abroad turns into a warning about vetting overseas clinics.
5. 05
   Pandas Off the Endangered List
   China's giant panda population rebound leads to Palmer's algorithm-fueled theories about pandas that walk like people.
6. 06
   Pool Noodle Arrest and Minnesota State Fair Numbers
   A bizarre park arrest with meth charges, then record State Fair attendance and the fair's top-ranked foods after Mikey's family visit.
7. 07
   Cigar News: Prometheus Diademas and Fifth Avenue Halts Cuban Shipments
   New diadema vitolas for Opus X Rare Black, Rare Purple and God of Fire, the Purple Rain to Carlitos X Rare Purple rebrand, plus the Chen Zhi sanctions fallout hitting Habanos distributor Fifth Avenue.
8. 08
   What's the Score: Rocky Patel Sapphire and Gellis Family Heritage No. 50
   The guys guess Half Wheel scores for the Rocky Patel Sapphire Corona Gorda (88) and Kyle Gellis' Gellis Family Cigars Heritage No. 50 (89).

Brands & Cigars Discussed

Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.

Transcript

I can't see your sign. Somehow that camera looks even more crooked now. I don't know. There it is.

We're rolling. I know, we're rolling. It's that time again. Jim Peoples.

Here we go. Gives people nightmares. Three. " Two.

Here we go. Did he drop it? What was the stutter? It came apart.

Oh. Welcome to a Cigar Hustler Podcast, premium cigars, unfiltered opinions and conversations. P. Palmer, your host.

Joined by my co-host, the man everyone loves, our North Star, Mike Szczepankevich. And an engineering the star of the new Off-Off-Off-Off-Off-Broadway play, now his new one-man show, Watch Me Make It Bigger, Mr. Phil McGuffey. He's not doing Broadway.

Now he's doing Off, Off, Off, Off, Off, Off, Off, Off, Off, Off, Off, Off Broadway. Well off. Like over a Bowling Alley theater. Oh, Bowling Alley theater.

Yes. I like Bowling Alley theater. I didn't know they had that. Yeah, it's the fifth off of the Broadway.

Oh, got it. From cigars, sports and business to pop culture and the wildest headlines, if it's worth discussing, we're gonna talk about it. No safe space, just real perspectives, big laughs and chaos at any moment. Welcome and settle in and welcome to A Cigar Hustlers Podcast.

Number one. Dun, dun, dun. Yeah, what happened to dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun.

On today's show, your penis can kill you. Oh my God. I'm not the one that picks these. Off the jump?

Yeah. The panda is, well that was the first story I found this week, what do you want? The panda is back, but that's not one of the uses for a pool noodle. Algorithm.

And in Minnesota. - The state fair numbers are in! - Oh boy. - 'Cause you went there, I thought this would be topical.

- I know, it's chaotic. - What state was that? - Minnesota. - Oh.

- But first, Michael, what are the people saying? What is available on CHPod swag and anything else you want to talk about? - Oh, man. - I thought he was leaving.

- Yeah. - I thought he's throwing his phone down and he was out. - I have clicked. - I have a video.

Like and subscribe if you're reviewing or listening to the show. com for all our CHPod swag. com, us, Cigar Hosts Podcasts. Today we're going to be covering the T2.

T2. T2. T2. Havana 6 something.

It's called like the Ali, Ali Todder, it's called the, hold on, El Morates. Supposedly Cigar Aficionado gave it a really high review. Oh, yeah, this is a good one. Like a 95 or something.

Wow. So I wanted to try it. All right. It's a different type of size.

It's an entirely different type of flying altogether. Lonsdale? I'm sorry, what? What size is it?

Lonsdale? Lonsdale? Lonsdale? No, this is like a double Toro or something like that.

Oh. Hmm. Yeah, like you know over there. We got a couple episodes, so we got some comments from the, excuse me, The CH Pod Lounge, starting from episode 611.

The lounge. " That is in reference to your AI girlfriends. No, no, his wife asking about all the masks. Oh, yeah, that's right, about the mask.

That's right. That's right. " He says, "I will yield for the rest of the year. " Over the mass?

Yeah, he's just kidding. Oh. " I mean, we could try that too. I just wanted to...

What do you see where Chris's threshold is? Like, I just don't want it to be used. You want the fun of the bidding. I like the fun of the bidding.

Yeah, I want 30 days of banter and all this, you know. Name calling. Yeah. All right.

Yes, please call names. Yeah. Matt Ruck is Unchained. Oh, Mikey Mom.

Oh, hello Sharon. She comes up as a suggested friend on my Facebook like every day. Oh, does she? Yes.

Because you say it. Well, her title is "I Didn't Go to College". Oh, really? Yeah.

Wow. Hmm. She's a character. She's very funny.

It says Palmer blinked twice. He's in danger. Oh, that's five times. Yeah.

That's big danger. What's that hand thing where you go? I don't know. There's a hand thing.

Is there? I see. Yeah. That women can give a signal.

It did something when you put your thumb inside and close your hand. Oh, yeah. I thought it was like a shot that they ordered, so. Well, that's at a bar, yeah.

The angel show. What is it for senior citizens? We hit the cane on the ground three times. Pull your necklace off?

Right. You hit the button on your necklace. Howp! Howp!

Howp! Howp! Howp! Oh, my God.

Oh, you want to get that? Oh, yeah, he took his necklace off. Is that Sharon? It alerted me.

Oh, it alerted him, because I turned my necklace off. Great. Phil comes to my rescue. Sorry, go ahead.

Michael Z says that show was hilarious, thanks guys, from the CH Pod Lounge. Nice. Which, which? This is the Labor Day one.

Ah. And, yeah, I thought it was really good, you know, I just, uh, Triple G was kind of in rare form, I feel like he's had it, kind of had it with me at the end of the week, and he was overly aggressive, did you get pick up on that at all? Yeah, he was a little aggressive on Friday, and then we had to do two shows, so he was like. He was kind of chiming towards me, so.

Right. I think he's always overly aggressive to you. You think always? Yeah.

Well, there was still that one thing hanging over so we weren't sure had happened or not, and I think they were still... Well, I think it's a combination of things, but... You think it's like a lot of years built up? Maybe.

I think that if you want to have more conversation about that, we can talk about it on our Patreon. Oh! Oh, nice. You should subscribe.

@DavidHasselhoffman says, "Buy those masks and shirt, guys. " It's true. Maybe it is the iPad. Yeah, I think it might be the iPad, buddy.

I have my sales one, I can see if it works. I think we have another one laying around somewhere. " Look, if you look at Phil, it survives. Yeah, you had reported that it broke.

No, you had reported it broke. " No, I said it's fine. They just don't know how to work it, everybody. No, he realized it was on there and he didn't like it.

Oh, yeah, Murcié, yeah. So, you know, he just ripped it off in the throat. Oh, yeah. Guerrilla style.

Right. And @johnvanderventer9824 says, "Happy Labor Day! " Okay. And then we got another episode, so let's cover that one, too.

Sure. Even though you didn't do it, you did it in a different number order, like you did ACHP 611 in the front now, instead of it being in the back. Look, your machine gives different options, I just hit the post button. If you could just keep it uniform.

It's not me, it's your machine. But my machine, you just tell Magic Robot how you want it. There's no input on my Magic Robot screen. Okay, okay, okay.

All right, I'll talk to it for you. Thank you. I'll just do everything. The last show Boots, it said that Mikey the King was interviewing Mikey Stepankevich.

- Oh, yeah, on the clips? - No, no, on the main show description. - Oh. - It didn't mention me or Greg anywhere.

- Well, that's probably what he told them to do. - That's what I'm saying. In the three of the four titles, his name was in the title. - Right.

- Mikey Szczevankevich reads the news. - This is my show. - Mikey Szczevankevich is the news. - Greg will not take over.

- Greg is not allowed on the show again. Mike's not playing with us today. He doesn't play with us anymore. Yeah.

All right, read on, read on. Yeah, good. @TeamMoney says, "Thanks, Mikey, for remembering. As for picking it up in person, have the superstar book my flight, and I'll get there ASAP.

" So what should we put on the polo? I don't know. We sort of talked about that on one of the other shows, I think, last week. We talked about maybe just, like, the logo, you know, the square with our faces on it, or, I don't know, CH Pod.

Yeah, and then, like, number one stunners underneath it. Number one stunners? Yeah. I never even know what that is.

" I like a hoodie, bro. Huh? We were talking about the... We were talking about hoodies.

Yeah, we were also talking about the possible, like, set where you can put the... Oh, yeah. But now, for whatever reason, it did not populate, like the glove, the comments from today's show, oh boy, wow, probably gotta change the title, took your name out of all of them, at Lance Frazier 4748 says, cigars, Hustler, Bunny Ranch, OMG, that would be awesome, but Triple G's wife would definitely have to run it, long Labor Day weekend for everyone, and Ruckus, go ahead, sorry, no, you go ahead, I could see her, I could see her running the brothel. I don't know why, but I could see her doing that.

Okay. No comment. Nothing offensive. I could just see her running it with an iron thumb and uh...

Stay away from that one. Yeah, I'm not touching that. Yeah. Cowards.

Cowards. I'm not afraid of his wife. Only my own. And ours.

Because she controls the hours. I'm not, I'm not scared of his wife either. I'm just tired of Salty Greg right now. Oh.

I just need him to get over it. @RuckusOnChain says we... I keep my... Sorry.

Says... Hello, Sharon. Says we need a coin. Yes.

Coin? A coin. Coin. A coin.

" Come on, Palmer. The what? It's not an island. Oh.

Yeah. Well, is there water around it? Okay. Am I supposed to engage with that?

I don't know. I'm trying to get you to engage on some today. You're sitting over there. I'm good.

I got plenty to engage on. Don't worry. I'm just trying to get through some of these comments. You know?

" Okay. Because you said Waffle House. I'm pretty sure it was a Waffle House one in there too. Listen, I'm going to tell you guys right now, 70% of the time, Palmer is wrong with this information 100% of the time.

Okay? So, you know, I appreciate you correcting him all the time. It's hilarious. But I really like it on the short clips too, when someone doesn't know who you are.

Oh my God, they are so mean to you. mean to you are they really oh yeah somebody called you uh when you were talking about the boats and stuff with the rust yeah okay uh someone said get it right uncle jesse i'm like i don't even know what the hell that's uncle jesse from dukes of hazard is that was that white hair and the white beard oh is that it oh see they knew palmer would understand see i thought i thought uncle jesse from full house i'm like oh yeah i look like him you're so handsome i played the Take a guitar and ride a surfboard. " That's true. What do you think his top theme would be, Palmer?

Oh, well, if it's anything like the one at his house, it's S&M stuff. Oh, so like vampires? Some type of clown room. Yeah, clowns.

I mean, the floor was black rubber, the racking in the room was black. I mean, I imagine you hook people to it, I'm not sure. And the map was for easy cleanup, I'm guessing. Yeah.

Yeah. Next. @RooksCoding says, "ChatGBT can be wrong. It gave me wrong answers to some questions I asked.

" Oh, okay. Wow. I don't mess with either. I started with Gemini and I switched to ChatGBT.

I didn't like Gemini. Claude's the best. Claude. And I think that's it.

com lounge. Also, I have a quick announcement to make. You look at me like I had the announcement? I got a call yesterday.

Oh, I thought this was for the other show. Go ahead. No, on Labor Day. Yes.

From Carlito Fuente. Oh! Himself? The man himself.

You sure it was him? Wow. Oh, it was definitely him. It was definitely him.

He was sitting in front of our loved friend, Ronnie, from Secreto Cigars. Was it FaceTime? No, no. Oh.

No, he just called me. Okay. I mean, like, so he called me, and I don't have his number, so it went, right? Voicemail.

" So I called him back, and I guess they figured it out, or whatever, and we had a brief conversation. Yeah. You know, and he was really nice to me, very, I don't know, super easy going, right? " And it clearly got out of hand.

And he's like, "Hey man, you know what, dude, it's all good. " So like, don't even sweat it. Oh, nice. " He watches us.

And he saw the clip. Yeah, I'm sure that the clip, you know. But maybe that drew him in. Now he watches every week or every day.

It's not even weekly. Yeah. Hello, Carlito. It's so nice to have you as a listener.

As long as the episode numbers are right. Yeah, maybe. So I eclipsed the back order shirt as well. Or not the back order shirt.

Boycott? The boycott shirt. That's done. What we've done for the pre-orders, we're going to move forward with that, but we are moving on, we're moving past this, I said that last week, I'm saying it again, like, you know, we're on good terms, I'm not here to create some ridiculous war, that's not my, you know, that was never an intention, and, you know.

So why didn't we get any of the 9-11 boxes? I don't think we qualify, to be honest. Oh, because I saw some shops way smaller than us that got them. Yeah, but maybe they order a lot of...

It could be, maybe they order a lot of Fuente, could be. Yeah, you never know. Yeah, you never know. Like, we're kind of in a unique space, right, being in Deltona.

Right. It is something that, it is a brand that we focus on. Sure. But, I don't know, maybe we're not there yet.

Like dude, this is something that I don't, I don't know, 'cause it isn't, that's not, that's the Greg part of things. Yeah, there's not like a set formula on how to figure out what you qualify for. I'm sure they have one. And I'm sure that Greg knows what it is, but I don't, you know, so yeah, yeah, we're, I think it's all good.

Perfect. It's all good. Now you have his phone number. Let's call him.

Yeah. Hey, you're on the podcast. What are you doing today? No, but like, listen, man, I thought that was really cool that he...

That was very nice. That he reached out. Very classy thing to do. And it's so much easier when you just talk to somebody and just, you know, we can move it on.

Like, hey, here's where we're at, like, you know what, dude, whatever. Like, okay, perfect. I said, hey, next time I see you, I'm gonna give you a big hug. I'm like, cool, man, that's cool.

Wow. He's a hugger. He's a hugger. I've heard he's a hugger.

Yeah. Palmer's getting jealous. I'm not jealous. Carlito or Charlie?

Charlie. I got a hug out of Charlie. The guy from Kristoff. What's his name?

Glenn. Oh, I don't know. Glenn's a hugger too. Is Glenn a hugger?

Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. I've only met him like twice.

Did he hug you? No, he was here one time and I figured what the other time was. Yeah. Came here with Groover one day.

Okay. So yeah. So that's where we're at. Perfect.

This is great. I think it's all good. Yeah. Well, that's over.

Yeah. Do you have any questions in regards to that? Me? Yeah.

You and the Deadpool pig mask? No, no. No, I did see a cool clip over the weekend, though. They had a panda.

Which one? The one with DJ Khaled, the one I was telling you about. Oh, go ahead. Yeah, he was smoking the Apogee?

Apogee? Apogee? Opus X, yeah. It's the green one, I guess.

But I guess whoever the person is for Fuente in his area went to his house. Yeah. It was, it was an awesome presentation, but I just thought it was cool that like DJ Khaled was smoking a cigar. Yeah, look man, you know, and you saw it on social media.

Yeah. Like, so that's, that's what's important. Like the, the celebrity kinda, the vision of celebrities smoking cigars, 'cause they do smoke cigars. Yeah.

And them showing it on social media is, is what's significant, right? Yeah. I felt like almost like a connection. You did?

Yeah. You were bonded? Kind of. Did you DM him?

I did. You did? Did he answer? No, he did.

You smoked, you did DM him though. Yeah, but it probably went to spam. What did you say? I love cigars too.

Hey, I really like, you know, that cigar too, bro, we should smoke together. Did you? No. Wow.

Another one. Another one. We should have another one. Me and you.

Did you have the mask on in the photo? That's what you should have done. I know that Simply Stogie's covered something, they were talking kind of in reference. " Always look out for your friends.

Right. " You know what, man? I just personally always want to be around real ones, right? Right.

" I mean, not even so much that. I'm just saying, just kind of like, in general, like, I don't know. I don't know. We're moving on for a minute anyways.

Right, right, right, right. Like, I don't know. I just think that, yeah. Well, thank you.

Simply Stogies, thanks for covering us on that, too. Yeah, sorry I didn't share it. I didn't know where we were sitting on that topic at the time. I didn't want to throw it back out there.

- Because we want to move past it. - Right. - Absolutely. - But I did see it.

I did watch it several times. - And don't say mean things about Matthew Tobacco. That's not, that wasn't nice. - Somebody said mean things about Matthew Tobacco.

- He did, Matthew Tobacco. - That was funny. I'll tell you, it was funny. I don't understand it, but it was funny.

- I think that, I mean, I don't think that, I think Matt Tobacco hates us, but whatever. - Yeah, I don't really, yeah. - Well, I mean, I don't, I don't have ill will towards them, so. - Yeah, no.

We don't have ill will towards anybody. - Right. - Only do one guy. Well, yeah, that would go.

Why does anybody hate us? 'Cause we speak our mind. In an industry where nobody else does. I think that, like, you know, listen.

Yeah, I mean, to some degree. But you know what you get with all of us? I don't know, man. I got a friend.

And, you know, like... Yes, yes, Carlito called you. You guys are friends. Now we know.

Drop it again. On a personal level, I got a friend, and I have hard conversations with this guy all the time, all the time, and I think he's a good friend because he comes back for more. You know what I mean? He still wants to hear it.

He still wants to hear my perspective, whether it's good news, bad news, or otherwise, right? Right. It isn't always gloom and doom, obviously, but I will tell him exactly what I'm thinking, and... And, you know, things that I think that he's not paying attention to.

Right. Um, I don't think a lot of people can handle that, you know? You're probably right. And I don't think a lot of people want to handle that.

I think there's more than a lot of people who want to. Yeah, they've built this own, they've built their own image up in their brain of how they're perceived. Right. And, and look, if that's how you want to live your life, that's perfectly fine.

Right. But I just don't see the growth in that. Right, right, there is no growth, that's what I was gonna say. It's like, well, how do you move forward?

Like, how do you grow as a person and gain more knowledge and stuff? Like, if you don't listen to, you know, the cold, hard truth, yeah, you can't grow. - Yeah, so. - Well, where else are you gonna get that kind of input if not from your friends?

- Right. - I mean, none of us are in school anymore, there's nobody teaching us. - Well, I mean, you didn't really learn much in school anyways, but. - Well, yeah, but at least you had somebody, you know, like the teacher would grade your paper type thing and give you feedback.

guess maybe that's why they made chat gbt dun dun dun yeah but it's it's set up it just tells you how great you are yeah you have to tell it not to tell me it not to tell you how great you are yeah like we need to stop this yeah we need to stop the the ego stroking and the uh i'm so great stuff great catch okay i'm so glad you snagged that sorry it was huge and a huge miss on my part right but i do love cigar houses podcast so again just real quick shout out again to carlito thanks Thanks for reaching out. Yeah. Shout out to Ronnie from Secreto. Yes.

I mean, look, dude, listen, Ronnie disagreed with me in everything that I said. Yeah. Right. Everything that I said.

Yep. And he still talked with me every day. Yep. Every single day.

That is a real friend. Right. You know what I mean? Right.

That's a real friend, a real person. He didn't care for the BDPs because of the name, but when somebody else said something bad, he was all over them. He's like, don't you dare. Don't you dare say that about my boy.

Exactly. - Exactly. Alright, cool. Ready?

Ready to get on with the show? Where's the remote? - And here we go. - You lost your mind.

Alright, the headline calls it surgery, but it was reportedly a filler procedure. He received injections of hydro, hydro, hydro, some type of acid. Hydrolacid and lidocaine, non-intritional surgery, enlargement. The procedure happened during a vacation in Bangkok for Aigo Tiny Urbano, a 43-year-old British-Nigerian businessman and influencer, was traveling with his wife when he visited the unidentified clinic.

Okay. I don't know what happened. Okay, you're going to do it. You don't know who it is.

Either one of you guys ever heard of this guy? No, but it sounds like you're talking about another penis enlargement. Well, but it went wrong. That's exactly what I was talking about.

That's really what it is. Things went wrong extremely quickly later in the day. While getting a massage, she complained of chest pains and passed out twice before taken to the hospital. I mean, what are we doing?

Like, why? Why what? Why go through this? In India.

I mean, it's not like, you know, they're known for their cleanliness. So he traveled there for this? He was there on vacation with his wife and thought, "You know what? I'll get you a present, honey.

" Wait a second. Wait a second. So if they were cleanly, you'd be okay with that? What?

If they were known for their cleanliness? Yeah. Who? India?

India. Any penance enlargement place. I feel like you have this stigma about India. I've never heard anything good about it.

Even Skip says India was a dirty place. I think he ate peanut butter out of his suitcase or something. He said that entire trip. Oh my God.

Doctors suspected of pulmonary embolism. He lost consciousness before they could perform. Consciousness? Consciousness, yes.

Consciousness. So they're trying to make the bigger and smaller print. You're trying to make the bigger smaller? Trying to make the print smaller so more of it's on the screen because it doesn't scroll anymore.

Yeah. Before they conform, the recommended CT scan and resuscitation attempts reportedly continued for more than a hundred minutes. Hmm. Really?

Post-mortem connected his death to the filler. So the filler they put in his penis didn't stay in his penis. Oh, he died. He died.

Oh, damn. They found the material in his lungs. I thought you were putting it on my penis. No, I put it on your lungs.

He did. Medical tourism deserves a serious conversation. People often travel overseas because cosmetic procedures can be cheaper or easier to obtain, but verifying the clinic, doctors, and emergency resources and follow-up care is critical. Wow.

Hmm. So he died. They did the autopsy when he got back home and they found it in his lungs. All the penis material went to his lungs.

So what, and what was the penis material supposed to do? Enlarge? Enlarge? Yeah, like the guy with the smallest penis a couple weeks ago?

Yeah. He had that done in America. Same type of procedure. Still living.

Yeah, yeah, he's not dead. Same type of procedure. They inject all this stuff into your penis, and then they squish it around, and then it gets hard, and you got a hard penis. And it's bigger.

Okay. It fills out the skin. Okay. But this guy, some of the stuff didn't stay.

I went into the bloodstream, up into the lungs. Jeez Louise, man. What are we doing? I don't know.

I'm not taking a vacation to a third world country to get surgery. I'm not making contact about this situation. Oh, Phil had it done. No.

Are you breathing okay over there, Phil? Phil's next movie: A Quest for Girth. An India Adventure. - An India Adventure.

- An India Adventure. - It's all the . - Stop it, that's racist. - No, the music behind it.

It's the music for the movie. - Oh, I get it. Oh, okay. - Wasn't me.

- Okay. All right. - That's his one line. You keep singing through the movie.

- I didn't do it. - Wasn't me. - I can't breathe. I can feel it in my lungs.

- I can feel it in my lungs. - My lungs are getting harder. I don't know what's going on. - Yeah.

The girth is expanding into my lungs. Let me wear this mask. The panda is back! The panda's right there!

Yes! Look at him! Not one of the uses! No, no, right there!

There he is! China's 2003 survey counted 1,596 giant pandas in the world. Then they were endangered. As of this week, they are off the endangered.

There's 7,000 pandas. Hunting season just opened up. By 2014, the number risen to 1,000 pandas. 8%, in roughly a decade.

More recently, officials estimated the place, the wild population, they placed the wild population at 19,000 compared with only 1,100 during the 1980s. Did you hear that, like, the panda was not, like, a real animal? Like, the theory is that China developed this thing? No.

Probably eat the bamboo. Yeah, and that was the theory, like, to eat the bamboo or whatever. That makes sense. Bamboo's horrible.

I like it. It grows five inches a day. Like, it didn't exist in history, and then it appeared all of a sudden. No.

But that's very interesting. Yeah. Makes sense. " Who cares about the panda?

Aw, they're cute! Yeah, well, who cares if they created them or not, or some other stuff? I'm like, okay. What would they have made them out of?

Bears? Just regular bears? I don't know. The Matrix created them.

Because, I mean, like you said, they eat bamboo, that's what they eat. That's it, and they do nothing. They sit around all day. They sit around just eating poop.

That's all they do. You think they made them at the Wu? At the Wu? Yeah.

Wuhan? Yeah. Wuhan Laboratory. I don't think so.

Were they trying to make a bat panda? Is that what happened? And it just went wrong? They tried to create a bat panda.

Oh man! Look at that! Don't touch it! Oh, shit, too late.

We're gonna have to throw away all these utility belts. Start making masks, we're gonna be rich. Start making masks. 'Cause I have seen videos where they act human.

Yeah. I mean, it's just scary human. Really? Like the one I tell you guys about before the show, the maintenance guy in the pen was walking with his hands behind his back and sort of walking across the thing.

Well, a panda stood up, put his hands behind his back, and started walking behind him like he was another person. Started copying him? Started copying him. Wow.

But it wasn't like, you know, he was walking like he couldn't walk, he would just put his hands behind him, like he was pacing across the compound. So weird. Palmer, how do you know what is real and not real in your algorithm? You don't anymore, you don't.

He just believes all of it. I believe everything. I mean, why would they fake a walking panda? Why not?

So how do you monetize that? Did you see it? You watched it, yeah. " Was there an ad on the bottom of it that you didn't see, like a pop-up?

" Right? Kind of bad. Yeah. " It's so conflicted.

Speaking of penises, a pool noodle was never designed for this. Okay. All the possible uses for a pool noodle, for a pool noodle. Pooh Noodle, Pooh Noodle.

This one definitely wasn't listed on the packaging. m. You're more on teleprompter today than you've been as of late. Because it's smaller, it's harder to see.

So do you have bullet points still, or are you just reading the actual? No, no, there's bullet points. They're even numbered. Okay.

But you've got to remember, I've been putting these stories together for four days. Some of them I don't remember so well. Ah, okay. That makes more sense.

Yeah. Alright, an SUV parked outside a city park several hours after closing was bound to attract police attention. Okay. He allegedly built a homemade device out of his pool noodle.

Okay. A fifi. Police, yes. Police say the noodle was-- What's a fifi?

That's a prison sex toy. Yeah. Okay, first of all, hold on. Stop right there.

How did you know what that was by calling it? Everybody knows what a fifi is. And then how did you confirm? Then how did you confirm?

Like, what is going on here? I read a lot. Everybody knows what a Fifi is. A Fifi.

I had no idea what a Fifi was. He's talked about it on the show before. He talks all the time. I never listened to him.

A shank. I mean, there's a whole bunch of stuff. You know what a shank is. Wait, so is it a...

Well, yeah, but that's not a sex toy. It's a really different tool. Yeah, if you're using a shank... It's a murder weapon.

Right. If you're using a shank as a prison sex toy, then we have a serious problem. Yeah. But a Fifi...

Yeah. Well, they also make them in the military. Okay, that I didn't know. Okay.

Okay. Don't you guys have women in the military? What is a Fifi? It's just like, it could be like your blanket rolled up, or it could be like your mattress.

I think it's a term, not a specific item. So it's like a flashlight type of scenario? Yeah. I don't know why all the news on our show lately has been about like sex or penises and stuff.

I think it's anything you can use as a sex toy is a Fifi. It's just a general term. Right. Like sex toy.

Yeah. I mean, sex toy isn't specifically one thing. Okay. Okay.

It's slang. Slang, yeah. com. No, that would sell.

Oh, yeah, like that? Like, do the fill? Like, do a 3D mask of it? No, you can put the...

Have it printed with, like, his mouth? Wow. You're right. We need you to pose for a mold, please.

Hold on. I thought, like... Give me, like, a wow look. Like, a wow.

Yeah. We'd give you the majority of the proceeds. Does that change your feelings? Yeah, yeah.

Maybe. Get a percentage. Maybe. It may be fine.

We could sell probably three of them. Uh, Chris, you want that one? Oh, God. Okay, so guys using a Fifi.

Police say the noodle was modified using tape and a dog waste bag taken from the dispenser at the park. Oh, my God. Okay, it was creative. So he had to come there to even make it.

Right. No wonder he was there. He needed the bag. I just had an urge.

It isn't much of an explanation. According to the affidavit, that was Barrett's explanation when questioned by the police officers. The vehicle search made everything more serious. Police reported found it suspected methamphetamines, a burnt glass pipe, and a THC vape inside the SUV.

Oh, that's why. He was set up for a big night. Just him, though. Yeah, well, him and the noodle.

Solo. Him and the fifi. Him and his fifi. Him and his fifi.

Fifi and the battery sucker. Oh, okay, they had a vape. Yeah. Hmm.

The drug charge-- I didn't know where he was going with that. I didn't either. " I guess they had a lot of options. Okay.

" Felony meth. Oh my god. He'll be popular in prison, he knows how to make the fifis. First of all, if you have meth on you, you probably shouldn't bring attention to yourself.

Like pull noodling yourself? What are you doing over there? Oh, God, uh... Don't look at the car.

Wait, don't look at the meth. Wait, hey, look what I got. I got news for you, dude. If you have meth on you, you're not thinking about any of that.

Yeah, you probably look like you have meth. No, no, just the noodle. Just look at the noodle. Yeah, yeah.

Look what I'm doing. Don't look at the something. Don't look at the backseat. Yeah, well, it's gone.

Have you seen some of the stuff on social media where like the people are like messed out where they stop in like mid walk and you guys just algorithms. No, I don't see that totally contorted. I'm going to because he's going to have a panda walking like a person on meth contorted. If you see there's videos on Instagram of just people going send this to your friend and F with his algorithm and they just I'm going to start saying random shit.

All sorts of unseen, weird stuff. I'm not opening any of Palmer's stuff now. Alright, an expensive night at the park, Barrett was being held on $8,500 bond and faces felony and misdemeanor charges, but remains presumed innocent until proven guilty. Except for the pool noodle.

Except for the pool noodle. Okay. Oh, alright. All right, now onto the Minnesota State Fair, Michael.

Okay, cool, 'cause you're, you're right, you're at 36. Oh, you want to, you want to skip the- No, no, no, I want to hear this. It's a lot of numbers. There's a, it was probably the biggest amount of people that they've ever had.

You're right. Yeah. 1,764,224 people attended during the first 11 days. I believe it.

The final Labor Day count has not yet been released, so the complete 2026 totals will be higher. The all-time record is 2,126,551 set in 2019. Well, there are already half of that just in the first 11 days. - Yeah, I mean, you know, when we were leaving at the airport, the TSA people were, like, there were signs that we went, right?

We bought, like, this. - Oh, you guys had some, they could tell you were there. - Yeah, there's, like, this little stick thing with, like, a dog leash on it, like, and it has a little stuffed animal. - Yeah?

- And Teddy got one and Justice got one, and, you know, you just kinda stick it, they carry it on, so people knew, right? Oh, how was the state fair? And you got it, like, through-- - Oh, really? - Yeah, going through TSA, you got it, like, three or four times.

- Did you go to the fair? - Yeah. - Oh, that's why he brought up the, okay, I don't understand him. - Was that the TSA people asking you, or other passengers?

- Oh, yeah. I mean, I think, no, it was mainly, like, the TSA, Not a lot of, people don't, I'm telling you, like, it's a kind of a weird state, like, nobody really talks, like, there's, like, I don't know, and maybe it was just my experiences with just a handful of people, but, like, there's minimal conversation. No, I've been there before, it is a weird state. It was kind of creepy, so, but I guess the TSA people live there and they talk.

Right. Well, they have to. You have to question you. They're like investigators.

So they were excited, like how was the fair? " They were at the fair. No, no, no. No, not really.

Did you by chance have the Hamung corndog? Yeah, I did not have the Hamung corndog. It was one of the year's biggest winners. The Union Hamung Kitchen used a ginger and lemongrass pork sausage.

Oh! Dipped in cornmeal batter and served with a It was a citrus kui sauce, there was another word that I can't pronounce, it finished first in the Anxious Reader's Survey, so it was the number one ranked food at the fair. That sounds amazing. It does.

We ate the fresh corn. I mean, we had a ton of stuff. Did you have Rune's Savory Chicken Salad Cone? You lost me at salad.

Chicken salad? Yeah, but no, I, no. He doesn't eat vegetables, remember? Yeah, but I mean, there's other people in his family, maybe somebody else did.

No, I can assure you, nobody in our party said chicken salad. How about the Saturday Dumpling Company's cheesecake? Ooh. Nope.

No vegetable in that either. Now, if it was a cookie, he may have had it. I did have cookies. Yeah, there you go.

Uh, ooh, cheesecake wontons, apparently a lot of cheesecake. No, he didn't have that either. Crackling corn ribs. Mmm, that sounds pretty good.

I had, like, a waffle that was, like, a roll, and it had, like, brownie inside of it. Mmm, that one of the top foods. Uh, Jack's had, like, some kind of chili dog. That sounds great.

The only other thing on the, on the list is some type of special tater tot. Mmm. E-lot tots. Oh, like corn tots.

I don't think I had that. No, e-lot, like, tater tots. This, this fair is so big that we spent the majority of the day there. And I think that we covered, you know, maybe a sixth of the entire fair.

Do they have roller coasters? They have some attraction rides, but I got news for you, I'm not getting on them. Oh, no, I didn't say. Oh, yeah, snap down and put back the other stuff, right.

Yeah. I'm like, we live in the greatest state with the best roller coasters. They've never taken apart and inspected nightly. Yeah, I'm not waiting in line 45 minutes to get on your subpar roller coaster.

Right, for your Death Trap rollercoaster. You know, Keanu used to do the weld inspections on the rollercoasters at Universal. Yeah. Yeah, well.

He used to, being the keyword. Yeah, he got fired. You know? That was the top food.

Those were the highest ranked foods. Oh, nice. Got it. I wish I would knew, like, if I knew that stuff beforehand.

Right. Well, I couldn't rank it until it was over. That's what I'm saying. Like, how tough is that?

Because I want to know what does well, and I'll go taste that stuff. Are you going back next year? Maybe some of these will be back there next year. I don't know.

You can look for the a lot tots and the weird corndog with the lemongrass. Let me ask a really hard question. Would you eat a corndog just period? Yeah.

Oh, I love corndogs. Oh, okay. Yeah, why wouldn't I? I love fair corndogs, but this is some type of exotic lemongrass something.

I wouldn't take you for a corndog, then. - Yeah, I wouldn't use it as a Fifi, I could tell you that much. - It'd be kind of like a weird Fifi. - Yeah, you'd have to take the dog out of the corn.

- Reserve, reverse Fifi? - Yeah, it's like reverse Fifi. - You'd have to do it the other way. - You could, I guess.

- Or maybe a they Fifi. - Oh, I guess you have to watch out for that stick. - That's what I'm saying. - Right.

That would probably hurt. - Probably. - Maybe it's more of a female type Fifi. - Let's just move past that one moment.

- Okay. - Let's go on. It's being obvious, I mean, you know. We, everyone's obvious of it.

All right, time to move on to Cigar News. Okay. Prometheus ships, uh, diodemas for Opus Rare Black, Rare Purple, God of Fire, Never Back Down, Special Reserve. Is that one cigar?

I, I don't think so. No, four Vitolas, four different Prometheus blends on the way to stores. Okay. That's four different cigars.

Okay. I've never heard of Never Back Down. Never Back Down. Did you say it was an Opus?

There's Prometheus, Ships, Diademus for Opus X, Opus X Rare Black, I'm guessing, 'cause there's no comma. The Rare Purple, God of Fire, nope, no comma again, God of Fire, Never Back Down, it's a particular God of Fire. Yeah. And Special Reserve.

Okay. Oh, Special Reserve sort of got ripped off, no big name for them. It's not even, it's a pfff. Eh, Special Reserve.

Special Reserve was a big deal until all these other ones. I didn't feel until all these other ones came about. Right, God of Fire Never Back Down, I want to smoke that. Do you?

Sure. Well, it's probably expensive, so no, I wouldn't. Unless you smoke it on the show. Oh.

It's still expensive. Somebody's got to pay for it. Well, call your friend. I'm not calling my friend.

Hey, as long as we're friends now, can we get a couple cigars for the show? Palmer, who loves you, would like to smoke the rare purple in God of Fire Never Back Down. Yes. It could all be one cigar.

And the Purple Ring. It's supposed to go for about $56. Oh. It's about normal.

Actually, the name is Rare, Purple, and God of Fire, Never Back Down. That's all one cigar. Wow. Because there's four of them.

So there's the diodemas for Opus X, Rare Black, Rare Purple, and God of Fire, Never Back Down, Special Reserve. The lines are the Opus X, Rare Purple, Opus X, Rare Black, God of Fire, KKP, Never Back Down, and the God of Fire, KKP, Special Reserva, Special Reserva. There are three new Vitolas, the same three Vitolas of each line, but this week, Prometheus has made the first shipment somewhat confusingly. It's not shipping the same new Vitolas of each line.

Really? So you don't know what you're going to get. They're different. They're all different.

I'm confused. Who's Prometheus? You know who Prometheus is? No.

The company who ships the God of Fire Rare Purple. Yeah, so they're like a company that, they make their own cigars, and then they also have like their special, they have special Opus, actually. - So they make the Opus X? - No, they make it through Fuente.

- Oh, okay. - Oh, Fuente makes them for them. - Yeah. - Okay, I'm sorry, I was really confused.

- I'm probably screwing that up to some degree, just for the record, but we tried to carry this in the past and it didn't end well. - It'd be a great time to call your friend and ask him. - I'm not, listen, look. - You think they text each other?

- Oh yeah, just text him, you don't have to call him. - Look, here's what I'm gonna tell you. We'll call the guy, sort it out. We're good.

I know, that's why I'm... I'm not going out of... Like, no. We're not making fun of him or anything.

We have a unique opportunity with a direct line to the man who would know the answer to these questions. No. Maybe if you put Carlito hat on the... What is that, Mr.

McGoober on your shirt? Mr. McGoober? Yeah, McGoober.

Don't make fun of Carlito. He's our friend now. No, I'm saying, if he comes in tomorrow with that hat on, you know he's been texting him. Oh, if Mikey comes in with a hat on.

Yeah. Oh. That cowboy hat thing he wears. Dude, like, look, I'm not gonna-- We get it.

Like, we're good. It's just a coincidence that there's a story about his cigars in here. I didn't know you were telling the story. This is not his cigar, though.

I'm not trying to force a friendship, like-- No, yeah. Well, I wanted to try to force it where there's already established. " Like, you guys sound like, you know-- Well, it's not like we're gonna have a story about his company every day. Is it fanboys?

Yeah, like weirdos. I don't know. Knock it off. It was kind of cool that you got a phone call from him.

That was great. I didn't see it coming. Right. That was awesome.

But this is not his cigar. But I'm not waking up in the morning saying, "How are you? " Like, what are we doing? Oh, you're not?

I would, yeah. Yeah, I know. Hello, girl. How are you doing today?

Yeah. You know, Mikey's not us. Are you wearing the jumpsuit? Yeah.

I like when he wears the jumpsuit, the Elvis Presley jumpsuit. So, okay, back to the story. Okay. All right.

Just to clarify, this is Prometheus' cigar that is made by Fuente. Correct. Okay. And they allow them to call it an Opus X.

Correct. Wow, that's pretty cool, actually. I mean... Yeah.

Get the rights for it. Do you have Keith Park's phone number? Is that the guy's name? I think that's the guy that doesn't like me.

The founder of Prometheus told Half Wheel that the branding of the Purple Rain line It has been slightly modified. Maybe somebody got a little trouble. I don't think so. Well, all the cigars...

Well, Purple Rain is Prince. Oh, yeah. Not from Prego, from Prince, man. Got it.

Well, all the cigars in the line use the same blend, Dominican tobacco, including a wrapper from the Chateau de la Fuente Farm. Is that in Dominican Republic? Yeah. The new Three Batollas...

It's the whole purpose of the Opus X. Well, yeah, I know, but I didn't know if it came from Dominican Republic. I saw Toro Fuente Factory when I was in the other gun store. It's not open yet.

I still saw it. Maybe they have a farm there. I don't know. Was there one next to the building?

There was one down the road, yes. There's a lot down the road. Well, right, exactly. We drove through the air.

" That's the only thing that didn't have his name on was The Field, apparently. The farm. Why not? I don't know.

It doesn't make any sense at all. Everything else was. Only AJ Field. Only AJ Field.

What shirts were they wearing? All the people? Yeah. AJ should say, oh, AJ.

So you know that's his, yeah. Well, they were inside his building. I mean, his picture was on the inside of the wall. I would have assumed it was his.

Yeah. But there was nobody in the field. They'd already picked the tobacco. Hmm.

The three Nuvatoles will not be called Purple Rain. Instead, they're called Carlitos X-Rare Purple. Oh. Ah, so maybe...

The original Purple Rain cigar, 6 and 7, 8 by 44 Torpedo, will continue to use the Purple Rain's brandy. Nice. All right, Fifth Avenue, German distributor of Cuban cigars pauses deliveries due to banking issues. Uh-oh.

Our friend is back. Our friend is back? Wait. On Friday, Fifth Avenue products trading the distributor of Cuban cigars in Austria, Germany, and Poland informed its clients that it was unable to take and deliver new orders due to what the company said were temporary baking restrictions.

" Uh-oh, our friend, our friend, Zenchi is back. 55% stake in Habanos and indirectly a smaller stake in Fifth Avenue. Mmm. You know, it's a piece of both.

You think, at this point, they would have, we don't even know if he's alive at this point. Allegedly. You don't think he's alive? I think he's in witness protection.

I don't think... I remember he was in China, but did he get... did they pull him out? Yeah, they sent him back to the country that's looking for him, last we heard.

Oh, but it wasn't... it's not the US? No, no. No, somebody else, some Asian country, Thailand or something, wherever he did...

The island of Thailand? The island of Thailand, yeah. Cambodia. Cambodia.

Was there water around it? Vietnam. There probably is water around it at some point. Maybe North Korea.

I'm not sure at this point. Yeah, there probably is water around it. You're so smart. Gen Z's picture is still on the Prince Group's website.

Oh! They would take that down, huh? No, they like it. They like it.

It was a good day. It's a lovely picture of him. Let's leave it up. S.

government unveiled an indictment against Chen related to allegations he oversaw a massive crypto scam business that was based out of Cambodia. Oh, he's in Cambodia now. Amongst the alleged crimes and allegations of forced labor, kidnapping, and money laundering through the use of his pig butchering... Oh.

Mmm. That sounds kind of eerie, doesn't it? Sounds like a Tuesday at the Publix. Mob-like.

Yeah. Earlier this year, Chen was transferred by the Cambodian government to China where he faces the death penalty. Oh, so Cambodians gave him to China, not the other way around. Yeah, see, I knew it was Cambodian.

So he's in China. He's in China facing the death penalty. Got it. The death penalty?

Is that a death penalty? How do you think they kill you in China? Pig butchering. I think if they wanted to, it would happen relatively quickly.

I don't know. It sounds like he's probably just being protected. That's what I think would happen. By the monks.

Like Pablo Escobar went to jail. He went into the big mountain and lived in the house. Oh. Yeah.

So you think he's in a big mountain, up in the mountains? I think he's, yeah, I think they're like, hey. Maybe on an island off the coast of China. Surrounded by water.

Good deal. While none of the cigar businesses are facing allegations tied to the crypto scheme, China acquired billions of dollars of assets ranging from multi-million dollar real estate around the world, a large private jet, and pieces of the world's largest handmade cigar business. Oh yeah, he's the king. This is mine now, yeah.

You can have all of it. You can have all of that. Just give me a little house in the hills and some rice, that'll be fine. Right, just tell them death penalty and then leave me over here.

Did you say rice? Yeah, they eat rice in China. They got food. He's gotta have food.

Rice lasts a long time. Just for the record, when you say Chen Z, it sounds like a great story. When you call him Chen, it does not sound good. C-H-E-N.

Whatever. That's his first name. I understand. It's like calling you Phil.

Yeah, but it just, no, it doesn't sound like that. It doesn't. Would you prefer we call him Chen Fifi? No, I think you...

You wanna call him Z? I think you should just call him Chen Z. Well, sometimes the story goes by his first name. You think if Bobby was here, like from Bad Friends, do you think he'd be okay with you calling him Chen?

Who's Bobby? He's an Asian comedian. Yeah, yeah, I think he'd be fine with it. Yeah, that's the man's name.

Yeah, I'm not following. Don't you call him Chen? I think we're calling him like Chen, C-H-I-N. Yeah.

Right. Like Ching Chang. Like he's just another Chen. But it's C-H-E-N.

I'm glad you clarified that remark. Yeah, because, you know, that's what everybody's coming after us for. Right, because I'm calling a Chinese guy by his first name. Just trying to clear him up one at a time.

Okay, okay. Anyways, what else you got? Anyway, hold on, it's slowly scrolling. So, what was the point of this story, just by the way?

That the company that sells Cuban cigars can't sell Cuban cigars because they don't have any money. Oh, the bank, the bank people. Yeah, because he owns part of this company, too. And you think that they would take down his picture off the website.

Yeah, you know, you log in and there he is. Boom. Well, yeah, it's been like a year, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Like, I think when the headline came out, like, "Chinzy Captured," like, that's when you go onto the website and change it. Right. You sort of try to distance yourself from the man.

No, this can't be true. I'm trying to get towards the score. Okay, yeah, because, like, you're at that point. All right, let's go.

You can just do, you can re-do those other articles tomorrow. It's going as fast as I can. Oh. You think it's, you think it's the iPad?

At this point I'm thinking, yeah, I mean, I have stalled and uninstalled the software three times. Well, test the other one. Yeah, and see if it still does. If it works, then we'll get you, we'll get a new iPad.

I think there's one upstairs. I mean, it doesn't matter that it's smaller and just make the print. This is a question of how old that is, dude. Oh, it's true.

I think it's older than this one because we had it first. Right. I had to replace one of my kids' iPads because it went out of date or whatever. Like, it wasn't software updated anymore.

Mm. All right. We're just going to jump ahead. Oh, we're moving to the phone.

Moving to the phone. We transitioned. The phone can be controlled directly. How are you going to see that?

I'm putting my glasses on. You hold it far away like this? I hold it. I put it over here by the thing over here.

Yeah. Okay, let's get to what's the score. And now it's time for industry's favorite game. Now it's time for industry's favorite game.

What's the score? He's still scrolling. I'm still scrolling. Can you guess the score?

Oh, you go ahead and do it then. Hold on, I'm almost there, I'm almost there? We don't know actually the intro, we just wasn't. Oh, you guys don't know what it is either?

He knows when to press the button, I know when to go the dun-dun-dun-dun. Can you bring into cigar score from a half-wheel review before it's revealed? We'll give you clues, you make your guess, and the review unfolds, the answers get closer. -Or does it?

-Or does it? -The closest guess wins, then you do it. -Then you hit it, yeah, you messed that up. -It says pause, that's where you do it.

-Okay, well listen, I'm doing my best. -Let's play What's the Score? -Dum, dum, dum. -Today, Cigar, September 6th, 2026, Patrick Le Greed.

-Oh. -The Rocky Patel Sapphire Corona Gorda. -Guard. Mm-hmm.

What are you looking it up? 89. He's looking it up on his phone. I know how he plays this game.

Wow. You know what? We're suspicious. We'll go 88.

Greg's down. Omar, text me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From Ramsey's.

He texted you the score? Oh. Dropping names again. Yes.

Omar is my friend. A. Wrapper, Mexican, San Andreas Binder, Honduran, Hammerstrand Valley, Filler, Condega, Essily, and Jalapa, 6x46, it's box pressed, they smoked 3. 87.

88. Clue number 1, the combination of creaminess, earth, and black pepper remain balanced and enjoyable, with enough flavor to hold your attention without becoming overly intense or aggressive. Eighty, nine. Eighty-eight.

Construction was excellent from beginning to end, delivering a smooth draw, even burn, strong smoke production, and an impressive average smoking time of two hours. Are you looking it up on your phone? No, I have a meeting at 4:15. Okay, if you could just pay attention though.

I pay attention. Because, like, the way that he's holding his phone, and you jump to him, look at how bad that looks. So, next time, just don't be on him, be on one of us. God, okay.

Now it'll change. 89, 88. Clue number three. Now he lowered it.

See? Well, because it was up in front of my face. The final third lost some of the refinement found earlier as the profile became more charred and peppery, leaving behind a slightly draw-ashy finish. Sounds horrible.

Ninety. Eighty-eight. Final thought. I happen to be in a real humidor with a friend of mine in between the time I smoked these cigars and the time this review was published, and I asked if he tried them yet, which he hadn't.

I told him what I would tell you. This is an incredibly solid, well-balanced profile that may not have that one thing that will make it distinctly memorable. But you will remember having an enjoyable experience. The first two thirds are full of well executed familiar flavors which I find valuable and enjoyable.

The final third is a bit less organized with the flavors beginning to do their own thing more than work in harmony and while it can be a bit of a departure, it's not a derailment. If you're looking for a new and seemingly reliable go-to cigar, the Rocky Patel Sapphire Corona Gorda is certainly worth a try. 90. 88.

Ooh, he hit it on the nose, 88. Whoa! Oh, he was so ready, he had the button up to hit. And I was just doing the Greg thing.

He looked it up. No, I didn't look it up. Our phone. Every time I went to this guy, he looked it up.

You're looking it up. You can't possibly beat me. He had his phone in his hand, he didn't turn it to show me. Listen, I'll let you win for the day, I know you're having a good day, I want you to keep having a good day.

I want you to keep having a good day. Okay, thanks. All right, set the fireworks off. Yeah, set them on.

Set them on. No. Bing bong. I have another one, if we have time.

Yeah. All right. Oh, he has a chance. We normally do two for Tuesday.

I know it's Wednesday, but we weren't here yesterday. Yeah. All right. Hold on, there's some reason.

Hold on, hold on. I copied it. Can't be on it. Jacket's raising again.

Here's the phone up on it. September 4th, 2026. Charlie Minato this time is the reviewer. Oh.

The Gellis Family Cigars Heritage No. 50. The what family? Gellis.

Never even heard of it. Ozinger Cigars. Oh my god. I can't tell them what the brand is?

It's not Ozinger Cigars. Well, I know, but it's associated with it. No, it's not. They don't make their cigars?

No. Oh, it's not Ozinger Family Cigars. It's warped. Oh.

- I really have no idea. - Apparently I don't either. - It's warped! - Okay, go ahead.

Oh, it's Ozinger. Okay, and you say it with such conviction. - I thought it was that one that was upstairs that we were looking at this morning. - No.

- I thought it was associated with that one. - That's Ozinger Crackatoba or something like that. - Right, but I, never mind. - Not by Gellis family.

- Apparently not. - It would be the Ozinger family. - Well, yes, completely different family. Completely different family.

Completely different family. Completely different family. Yes. There's a lot of families.

But it's an island. But it's on. It's got water all around it. Oh, it has water.

In the New York Harbor. With the Fifi. With the Fifi. Please continue.

You guys need to vote. Oh. Oh, I'll go first. 85.

87. It is the Gellis Family Cigar Heritage No. 50 from Nicaragua. Factory, American Cigars, SA, Wrapper, Mexican San Andreas, Binder, Nicaraguan, Filler, Nicaraguan, Length 5x50, it's round, and they smoked 3.

Yeah, 85. 87. Heritage #50 delivers a rich, full-flavored profile built around wood, earth, bread, and pepper, with interesting touches of citrus, creaminess, nuts, and an occasional sweetness. 88.

89. Clue number two, despite some variation between the samples, the cigar remained enjoyable and offered plenty of complexity evolving through distinct flavors while providing a long smoking time of two hours. Why are you looking so mean at me? What are you gregging him for?

Wow, what was the term? Wow. Triple G in him. Triple G in him.

Now he's a verb. Uh, I mean he's making it sound like it's a great cigar, so 89. 87. Oh, switcheroo.

Clue number three, construction was inconsistent with all three cigars requiring at least one touch-up and occasional combustion problems that came close to needing a complete relight. Well, we know they give off a lot for that, so I'm gonna go 81. 86. Final thought, more than most cigars are review, I think the Gellis Family Cigar Heritage #50 would be smoked with as much focus as possible.

At least if you want to maximize the complexity, there's quite a bit of nuance here, but I suspect that even a mild beverage would overwhelm a lot of it. When the cigar is on, it can mix contrasting flavors with toastiness being the closest thing to a consistent singular sensation I tasted through the cigars. Sometimes those flavors don't last very long, both in terms of number of appearances and their length. This isn't the type of profile I associate with Kyle Gellis, though I would understand why he might be interested in the finesse.

81. 86. 89, you went the right way. 81 was kind of a low thing.

You could have just anything over 81. Yeah, I just I picked a low number so he didn't win. Oh, you just gave it to me? He threw it.

You're not supposed to tell him you didn't do it. Sorry, no, I didn't do that. That was his best guess that he put all the information together and it's what he got. No, I thought it was a low one.

Yeah. I've never heard of the I've never heard of these. We've covered them several times. Yeah, we've covered them several times.

I mean, you should have known, too. Well, I have heard of them, I just didn't know who made them. I've never smoked one. Yeah, yeah, we've smoked them on the show before.

Did we? Yeah, we've Patreoned them before. The Gellis ones? Yeah.

Really? It's been like a year, probably, but yeah, we got a couple of them in at one time a couple of years ago. And they had to be sent to us from somebody. Yeah, I've never seen this in the humidor.

They had like that, the band that, maybe that's Osager that I'm thinking of then. Had the band that, oh my goodness. All right, this is the end of the show. Bye, guys.

It's over. We're all done. It's finished. I don't know.

Like and subscribe. We're reviewing and listening to this show. com for all your chpod swag. com on Cigar Hustlers Podcast.

Today, we're going to cover the Tatuaje Havana 6 Alaruru. Ooh. Alaruru. All right.

Thank you, everybody, for your time. We hope you provide a great edutainment on this Wednesday. All right, bye. Make sure to visit the island.

Bye.

Show Notes

On this episode of the Cigar Hustlers Podcast, the crew reviews and discusses the latest from Rocky Patel and Warped.A full cigar-industry news discussion — reviews, interviews, and commentary, plus the week's wildest headlines.In episode 613 of the Cigar Hustlers Podcast, host Mike BDP runs the news desk to the humidor — reacting to the week's headlines before digging into cigar news and reviews featuring Rocky Patel and Warped. Honest conversation and industry commentary, new episodes every weekday.