158 Jack Torano Honorary Slap Dick??

Episode Summary

Episode 158 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast welcomes back Jack Torano, Espinosa Premium Cigars' national sales manager, for his fifth appearance — an occasion the hosts mark by inducting him as the show's first "Honorary Slap Dick," complete with a jacket that doesn't quite fit, a box of Torano cigars and a box of Warbears paid out on a lost bet from Greg. The crew sparks up Undercrown Manifestos (saved for a full review on the Patreon secret show) and swaps the story of JD Espinosa handing Manifestos out of a garbage bag at a 2015 New Orleans event.

The conversation ranges across Jack's Tampa Bay Buccaneers season tickets and the ethics of selling Super Bowl seats, Tom Brady's legacy, and life in the cigar business during COVID. On the industry news side, the guys celebrate the Espinosa La Zona Reserva Oscuro being named Cigar Snob's 2020 Cigar of the Year — a blend Hector Alfonso and A.J. Fernandez worked on together — and Warzone landing at No. 13 on Cigar Aficionado's list. They also cover Nica Sueño being named 2020 Factory of the Year (edging Joya de Nicaragua by a single point) and what that says about sourcing good tobacco versus blending skill, plus a nod to Erik Espinosa and Esteban being recognized while "Skip" was out recovering.

Other segments include the Tampa Cigar Heritage Festival pushing its March event to December, the Biden administration's regulatory freeze on FDA substantial equivalency updates (and why it changes nothing for cigars right now), a get-well shout for Brian Lewis of Caravan Cigar Company, and a mention of the Candela barber-pole exclusive Hector had been smoking. Listener of the week is Ben Roland, who visited the shop from Texas and once worked retail for Skip. The episode closes with COVID stories, vitamin D and beetroot powder health talk, and a running gag at the expense of a certain hard-to-reach sales rep.

In This Episode

1. 01
   Case Elegance Octodore sponsor read
   The hosts debut their first sponsor with a full read on the 100-count Octodore humidor and its patent-pending hydro system.
2. 02
   Jack Torano's fifth appearance and prizes
   Jack is named the show's first Honorary Slap Dick, gets an undersized jacket, a box of Torano cigars, Warbears and Bomb Girl coins.
3. 03
   Undercrown Manifesto and a 2015 garbage-bag story
   The crew lights Undercrown Manifestos ahead of a Patreon review and recalls JD Espinosa handing them out of a trash bag in New Orleans.
4. 04
   Bucs, Brady and Super Bowl tickets
   Jack talks season tickets, the lottery for Super Bowl seats, and whether he'd sell them or take his son.
5. 05
   Cigar Snob Cigar of the Year: La Zona Reserva Oscuro
   The guys break down Espinosa's No. 1 ranking, the Hector Alfonso and A.J. Fernandez blend, and Warzone's No. 13 finish with Cigar Aficionado.
6. 06
   Nica Sueño named 2020 Factory of the Year
   A discussion of Nica Sueño edging Joya de Nicaragua and why great tobacco plus skilled blending earns factory honors.
7. 07
   Industry news: festivals and FDA
   The Tampa Cigar Heritage Festival slides from March to December, and the Biden regulatory freeze on substantial equivalency is explained.
8. 08
   COVID in the cigar world and health talk
   Well-wishes for Brian Lewis, super-spreader near-misses in Miami, antibody tests, vitamin D and beetroot powder.

Brands & Cigars Discussed

Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.

Transcript

I'm ready. Poor Jack's trying to give me stuff. Bruh, prizes. Prizes and gigs.

Mike's not on the same page as you. I took mine. Oh. Make sure he doesn't take it back that way.

Oh, okay. All right, welcome to episode 158 of the Cigar Hustler Podcast with Jack Taranio. Yes. Yes!

We have Big Jack sitting in for his yearly annual visit. Big Jack. Big Jack. Should we start with your announcement?

Right off the rip? I gotta do the ad. Oh, okay. We're a sponsored show now, Jack.

Are we really? Yes. Today's show brought to you by the Octador by Case Elegance. The team at Case Elegance has spent years meticulously crafting this humidor to be their largest and best yet, fitting up to 100 cigars.

This deluxe humidor features a striking octagon silhouette, posh black piano finish, glass top, front digital hydrometer, Accessory storage door, Spanish cedar, magnetic enclosure, and the patent-pending hydro system. Case Elegance has undergone extensive research, testing, and customer feedback to solve every shortcoming commonly experienced with other humidors. Cleverly recessed into the base is an included patent-pending hydro system, an accurate and low-maintenance cigar communication system that makes dialing in and maintaining your humidor easy. Case Elegance has integrated a front-facing digital hydrometer, offering you peace of mind that your sticks are kept to your desired humidity.

Properly store your lighter, cigar cutter, and travel case in the large bottom accessory storage drawer, this stunning Octodore is finished in a lacquered black piano with slight undertone of black wood grain. The solid metal hardware mirrors the octagonal shape and comes in a modern space gray finish. The Octodore by Case Elegance is one of the highest rated and most comprehensive cigar humidors on the market. A striking shape, beautiful finishes, and thoughtful engineering makes this a must-have for any aficionado.

com for more information and purchasing. Yaaay. Excellent read, my friend. Thank you very much.

The only thing missing is an English accent. Oh. Oh, the Case Elegance. Yeah.

You could sell anything. The team at Case Elegance is spectacular. Yeah, it's spectacular. No, it's more Irish, I guess.

It's Irish. I went Irish. Yeah, it usually just goes Chinese. Oh, that would be easier.

The fact that he's in that realm, that's nice. So, we're going to review the Undercrown Manifesto on the Patreon. Yes. And you're going to help with this?

I am. I'm going to help. Yes. Okay, so, took this out of the Case Elegance Humidor.

Yes. And we are going to start smoking them now. We're going to start smoking them now. Because this is quite the fucking commitment.

How long is this show? Well, this show is an hour, but the Patreon is about 35 minutes. So you're going to give one to everybody or just you? Yeah.

I was going to open them up for you. I don't want you touching it. It's COVID. Well, I was going to lick them.

Oh, well, go ahead then. Perfect. Perfect. Oh, that was broken.

This one's broken. That was broken. Hey, that's fucked up. All right.

So we have a huge announcement for Jack. Yes. Yes. This is a big deal.

This is a big deal, Jeff. This is your fifth show that you've been on here. Wow. Do I get a jacket?

Do I get a jacket? You get a fucking jacket. You get a jacket. You are the first ever.

First honorary. Honorary slapdick. Slapdick. See, we put the SD on the breast pocket for you.

The SD there on the pocket. There's no chance this fits me, right? It's the biggest one. We got the biggest one we could possibly find.

Biggest one I could possibly find. Give it a crack there. Let's see. Let's see.

Watch your headphones. Let's see. That's an extra, extra large too. It's the biggest one they had.

That's the biggest one they had. This is nice. I like looking at the struggle. Hold on, I feel like you can make it work.

Oh, hey, I mean, we're, yeah, just don't button it, you know. Don't button it, don't raise your arms. Fat guy in a little coat. Fat guy in a little coat.

The sleeves are perfect. Excellent. Well, so congratulations, sir. You are the first person to ever reach five episodes on a Cigar Hustlers Podcast.

We'll leave this hanging right over here for your every following appearance. And we're very proud of you. Well, now we have something to go off of that we know that you can bring that in to look for a bigger one. Let's see if it comes to me.

We have something else. So, apparently, Greg lost a bet to you? Yes. Yes.

Well, I have the payoff here from Greg. We have a box of Taranio cigars for you. cigars for you. And then a box of Warbearers I was told were also delivered.

So Greg's debt is paid. Hecno will benefit from these. Right. I made it in there.

I didn't get Greg to hand it over. Oh, well, we don't let him on the show. We keep him, you know. He complains.

Yeah, this is too much. You're better off. It's better content. He did gather them.

He's like, oh, Jack's here. This has been by far my best appearance. Isn't it great? Fifth show, a lot of prizes on a fifth show.

Yeah, there's a lot to be said, you know, there's a lot going on. There's a lot of work opening this thing up. Oh yeah, look at this thing. Oh, look at this, there's a note on the back side.

It's like a Roman candle. Have you smoked one of these yet? I know that you said you have. I have, okay.

Yeah, we were at, I think it was 2015 in New Orleans, we were, it was actually an Espinosa event at one of the- A manifesto in 2015? In 2015, and JD walked up with a garbage bag full of manifestos and was hanging them out and handing them out to everybody. Wow. Yeah.

Same thing here. Yeah, we got these out of a garbage bag. Yeah, that's exactly how this went down. So, hey, I mean, so a lot's kind of gone on since we did our last post, or our last video, because we did it like mid, like on the weekend.

Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, with Jay. You know, we had some other experience. So, just to kind of quickly give a quick update from the week.

Two, you know, things. Number one is, I went to Universal on MLK Day. Oh, did you really? Yeah, and I fucking, we watched the Bourne Stuntacular.

Yes. Holy shit, what they have done. Oh, I thought something bad happened or something. No, it was like, so they, it's like a gigantic screen.

Oh. Oh, like a green screen type set? No, it's like a huge LED screen, and then they have stunts in front of it. Oh, wow.

But it interacts with the background. Oh, with the actual movie? Yeah, it's fucking insane. Was Matt Damon there?

He was, he was, he was with me and my son, yeah. No, I meant, was he in the stunt spectator? No, no, he watched it with me. Oh, wow, look at you.

Yeah. Yeah, and the other thing is, we'll briefly touch here on the Bucks here real fast. Oh my God, I mean, watching that game yesterday, I knew you were just bench pressing or something. No, you know, what's really kind of funny is when, so, because I've been a Patriots fan and smoke this thing you know because i lean so far away from the microphone because i've been a patriots fan my whole life and a bucks fan probably the past five years five or six years um and a season ticket holder a season yeah so that's what's really kind of funny it's like the boo birds and all the negative nancies come out like oh you're fucking bandwagon you're fucking bandwagon but yeah but none of you guys have season tickets for your team so i don't even want to fucking hear it i've been a season ticket holder for five or six years and you got four I do have four, and I'm front row.

Are you in the lottery for the Super Bowl tickets? I believe that I am in the lottery. Now, I spoke to my rep last week. Alfredo Cruz?

No. No, no. He doesn't answer the fucking phone. No, this guy actually answered.

So you have a shot at getting Super Bowl tickets? Yeah. Oh, yeah. If it was Alfredo Cruz, he'd get back to me after the Super Bowl and say, oh, yeah, hey, bro.

Next Monday, he'll call you. I just wanted to know, wasn't it? I had him for you, bud. Yeah, well, yeah.

I had him. Yeah, I just forgot to call him. My bad. It was a bad day for me.

It was written down on a sticky note on my dashboard. Yeah, after the jam, everything went sideways. I was like, okay, get off the elliptical, motherfucker. So yeah, so there's potential there for me to get tickets.

I don't know how, I don't know how it works, man. I know that they're expensive as shit. I don't know what the odds are or anything? Oh, that's the way you do it.

There you go. Oh, you can just rest in here, baby. It's perfect. Occasionally take a puff.

I like it. Yeah, so I don't know. I feel like we should be settling some disagreement with the Indians or something as we smoke these things. Right?

I could tell you that my son- We'll give you seven blankets and some- You're ruining the bookstock. Oh, sorry. Yeah, he always does. I don't pay attention anyway.

" Oh, fuck. You know you can't do that, right? I don't know. What do you mean?

What do you mean? Somebody offers you 50 grand for four of those tickets that you- Oh, Greg's already spending the money. You- I don't know, man. You know, at the beginning of the year, I would have told you, yeah, fuck that, I'm not, it's not happening.

But as time has kind of progressed, I've been chiseled away at slowly thinking, man, maybe if I can, if I have the opportunity to go in this game. Sons, we didn't get the tickets. I'm sorry. It's not a hard thing to say.

Seven new Xboxes daddy bought you today. But this is the, like, that's a thing that, you know, you look back and you say, we went to the Super Bowl, you know? Well, he gets to look back. It's also a thing to say, some jackass gave me $50,000 worth of tickets.

Thanks for the college tuition. I know. Yeah, I know. You can always make more money though.

Huh? You can always make more money. Not that easy. No, I get that.

Not that easy. Not that fast. Not that fast. Well, listen, before we start sucking each other off here, I gotta get the tickets first.

So, you know, there's maybe a mute conversation. Right. You may, if you do get the tickets, you may want to lie to your brother as well. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Lie to him. Greg, we didn't get the tickets. Yeah. And here are the posts of me with my son.

Just say Palmer Green screened us. Yeah. So, when I watch these games, when it gets serious for me for my two favorite teams, I don't fucking want anybody around. I've learned a long time ago that, and I've made, I've changed that rule every once in a while.

Like, I've given in, like, when the Patriots are in the Super Bowl, I don't want to fucking be around anybody, because normally- Does that include family? Just my immediate family, that's it. They're allowed. Yeah, not even my brother.

Like, my wife, my kids, that's it. Because the fucking, I don't want to deal with anybody's bullshit, right? Because there are people that will root, there are Patriot fans, and then there's everybody that hates fucking Tom Brady, right? And it's going to be the same shit with Tampa.

It's, you're going to have, you know, your handful of diehard fans that are like, He's like, hell yes. And then there's going to be everybody else that wanted Tom Brady on their fucking team, and they're going to be shitty. So like... And everybody has that friend that's a mush.

The worst. That you watch a game of them, you're losing. Dude, so Mike the Mailman texts me, like right at the half, and he's like, hey man, three more points, and this game's done. I was like, why would you fucking text me that?

Are you out of your mind? Dude. So I text him like, go away. Go the fuck away.

I'm blocking your phone. We are not having correspondence right now. So, yes. That shit almost backfired on me the other day.

Did it? But it didn't. Because we knew that in the cigar snob that we got the number one cigar, we knew that it rated high enough that it was going to get in the top five. Right.

" Bro, what are you doing? Yeah, thank God I didn't get a bro. a bro what the fuck when he came out i was like a sigh of relief yeah and starts calling you mush all of a sudden yeah yeah so i was safe from the bush yeah your office gets changed to the bathroom pretty much there now well you are the national sales manager so i mean you know it makes sense yes um yeah but dude i mean the the you know say what you want about breeze and about brady and i did this i did a facebook post about it but like fucking two total class acts man at the end of the game and the saints they're hugging each other and playing with the kids and at the end of this game brady goes up and goes hey you know i want to see my son his son comes down and gives him a huge i'm like how the fuck do you not root for this guy yeah and yet there are haters out there right listen i'm a lifelong dolphin fan right i fucking love brady right and that's a big statement and respect the fuck out of that guy right i couldn't have been happier yesterday i like aaron John Rodgers. Right.

But I wanted to see Brady. Right. These people go, great, another Brady Super Bowl. Dude, you're witnessing history here.

Be lucky. That's like people going, Jordan won six titles? What the fuck? Give me a fucking break.

Give me a break. So now, you know, what's funny is the game that I went to with my son this year, which was hard as fuck to get into, was the Tampa Bay, Kansas City game. And at that game, you saw the first half, Brady came out, like his shoulders were kind of slouched, and he was kind of pissed, like at the beginning of the game, and he wasn't playing well, and you could tell that the team wasn't jiving, defensively the team wasn't jiving, and then, I don't know what the fuck happened at the half, but when they all came out. I can tell you what happened in the first quarter, Tariq Hill had 200 yards.

Oh yeah, I know, oh yeah, I know, you were fucking, yeah, you were trolling me, yeah, thanks. But at the half. Maybe you can cover him. You know, thanks.

I probably couldn't. He runs 20 miles an hour. I'm like, yeah, nope. Yeah.

Can you imagine getting this body up to 20 miles an hour? My chest would explode and my heart would fucking cave in. So I could tell at the half that that team had something had happened, whether somebody said, you know what, fuck it, whatever you want to do, man, just leave me the hell alone. And like, it worked.

You could tell that they were coming back and I was like, man, you know, and on the ride home, because I brought my buddy, Chris, I said to him, man, I gotta tell you. And I gotta tell you, that's a different team. The team has totally changed at that half. If I could tell you when the pivotal point was for Tampa Bay, it was the Kansas City game, for sure, without question.

So, I'm a little nervous. Not at the half, though, because... It was at the half. It might have changed, but it didn't show in the second half.

Yeah, they came back. Dude, I think they lost by like three. No way. Yeah.

You'll need to check that. I turned it off. 25. Here, I got this magical thing a little.

So, who dropped 50? That was New Orleans, right? Didn't New Orleans drop 50 on them? Yeah.

Oh, see, I'm confused with that. They did come back that game, you're right. It was a New Orleans game then. New Orleans beat the fucking brakes off them.

It was terrible. I didn't troll you that game. Tampa Bay, KC game. Let's see.

Score. Let's see. I'm gonna look this up. Go ahead and...

How come it's not instant? This is... Let's see. What's that knocking?

Is that outside? 20... I don't know. They're probably working...

27-24 was the end of that game. Nice. Yeah. So, I'm telling you.

I'm telling you. I'll put it in the group chat for them to stop whatever the hell they're doing. Stop what you are doing in the kitchen. He's changing the air filters.

With a hammer? Sounds like it. With the cinder block. All right.

So, yeah. That's pretty much... Okay, you want to do your... Oh, yeah.

I appreciate you moving it along. Point with my... You're pretty amazing. And then he's got goodies over there that I want to...

Oh, yeah. The pointer. He already got it. I already took mine.

I just got it early. Laser pointer. So, my buddy Drew, out in Alabama... He has sent his hats and shirts before.

He has. And we've worn them on the show. Yeah, yeah. But he went out and did this whole custom job.

He did this whole custom job. I think he's come in and watched once too, didn't he? No, I don't think he's been there. No, he hasn't been here?

Oh, we saw him up at Lajero's. Yes. Yeah, we saw him in Lajero's in Atlanta. So he sent me...

Is that like a cheese tray? It's a... It's a charcuterie board. Yeah, I was going to say that.

It's a charcuterie board. No, it's a skateboard that he... I don't know if everybody can see that. Yeah, yeah.

You can see it. It's been modified and he painted it. It's beautiful. He put the postagna on it.

He put the war bear on it and like... It's pretty badass. Oh, I didn't notice the claws are even silver. Yeah.

On the bear. We'll hang it up back here. Yeah, we're going to put it up. It's going to be permanent for the show.

Has mounting holes already. Look at that. That would have been a nicer gift than the jacket. Would have fit too, probably.

That's only five times, man. At 10, you get a skateboard. Yeah, at 10, you get a skateboard. Maybe next year.

At 15, you get wheels. Well, let's see. Right. That's what we get you to come back.

We've been doing this for over three years, so it's the fifth time. So another three years I got time. I got time for the skateboard. Exactly.

Could be part of the show for three years. So thank you so much, Drew. You know, we really appreciate that and really appreciate you thinking of us and it's very bad. Who is this?

Drew who? Drew. That's it? Just Drew?

I can give you his last name, but I don't know if I should or not. Why not? Why not? I'm pretty sure it's Pierce.

I think you're right. Yeah. Yeah. Give the guy some props.

@refinesoutherner on Instagram. Okay. He's got a hot rug shop in Alabama. So yeah.

Yeah. That's pretty badass. I want my present now. Give me.

Give me, give me, give me. I brought Bomb Girl coins. Woo. These are the.

I can't wait on that thing. I already have mine. These are the hard ones to get or something? Those are hard to get.

Those are hard to get. As you can see, I've hoarded a few of them. That's nice. And good for you.

We don't have enough to give Keanu one. That's the coin that people were getting if they collected three different color bombs from the Warhead Sampler. Look at that. No coins needed.

No coins needed. Boom. You guys know we got it done. This will go great on Sampler Pack Online.

I'm going to need all those back everybody. I'm going to take those back after the show. See, that's why I already got mine. After you took the jacket back, I'm going to take those back.

Oh no, the jacket stays here, I mean. No, I want it there. You can take it with you. Sure.

What, we're out to dinner with your lovely wife? Yeah, there you go. Yeah, we can order. I'll take the...

Can you cut my steak, honey? I can't get my arms up to cut the meat. Well, thank you very much, sir. That's quite amazing.

I've already weaseled an entire bundle from you as well, so very nice, I'm very excited about that. You don't have any of the Candela ones that Hector was smoking the other day with you, do you? Soy sauce, one of the ones? Fairlane's, Fairlands, Fairwinds, Fair something, the Candela Barberpole?

Oh, Fair... Fairlane's? It's an exclusive to Caravan Cigar Company, and by the way, the owner is battling, Brian Lewis. Yeah.

I don't want to bring the show down, but Brian went through COVID a few months ago. Oh, shit. He went through it okay, came out okay, and he got pneumonia that's been complicated by the COVID. Oh, no.

" Oh, I saw that. Yeah, that's for Brian Lewis, he's in the hospital. Oh, shit. I think I saw Abe post that this morning.

And we wish him the best. Yeah, absolutely. He's a great, great guy. Great guy.

I guess COVID's real then. Yes. Jesus. Yes.

Wow. Did you manage to stay COVID-free? Yeah, yeah, so far so good, knock on wood, I will make one comment though, I love the fact that Skip fucking said to you, hey, good luck living it up out there, and then boom. And boom.

Fuck. Yeah. Karma's a bitch, Mark. Yeah, that's right, Mark.

It's fine to joke about it now because he made it out okay. He made it out. He made it out the other side. And since he's gonna break my balls about my buck, so.

I was like, yeah, you're fucking basking in your jealousy, motherfucker. Who's his name? Oh, Dallas. Yeah.

Well, I mean, I don't know. Is he a season ticket holder? I mean, a man of his stature. He should have season tickets.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. His box should be right next to Jerry Jones. He and Jerry. The day the Cowboys go back to the Super Bowl, you'll hear that Skip's a big Cowboy fan.

Oh, yeah. I'm going to be like, yeah, you're bandwagon. It'll be epic. So what else you got going on, Michael?

What did you do? The wife was up for Teacher of the Year in Volusia County, Yeah, but she made the five finalists, but she did not win for the county. Well, hey, you know what? The school threw a huge party for her on Friday, they threw a huge party last night after the event, and so she's still happy.

And you still got the t-shirt on. I wore the t-shirt, yeah, they brought these last night and everybody in the stands and her little group had the t-shirts on. That's awesome. So like you said, you guys didn't know going there.

No, no, we didn't know she wasn't going to win until the very end. so they uh they did this nice little video of her uh and all the other because they said you know this person started doing education later in life and i grabbed her thigh i'm like this is it this could be you and they go and then they there's something something about painting the town and i'm like oh shit the art guy got it let go of my thigh right yeah she Let go on my thigh. Let go on my thigh. I'm not winning.

Well, you know, but it's good to be at least acknowledged because, you know. She did. It's the first time her school's ever had anybody in the top five, too. Right.

And, you know, she's got a hard job. And her little video got seen in front of 71 principals for the district. Michael here was looking for the new car. Oh, yeah.

It was a Mitsubishi Eclipse. I mean, it was a nice new car. Nice. Convertible?

No. SUV. The old hard top. The old hard top.

The old hard top. Wait, the Eclipse has turned into an SUV? It's not Eclipse. What's a Mitsubishi SUV?

A Montero or something? No, it wasn't Montero. I don't know. Okay, anyway, it was a very nice car.

And the guy gave a little speech last night, and every time you get to 5,000 miles during the year, you get another car. Are you serious? Yeah. Yeah, he said, and they gave you, they gave him a big cash thing.

Him and his wife donated $1,000 to the person to pay for gas. Wow. I mean, it's completely free. They cover insurance and everything.

I just wanted to know that if I won, I would burn the first 5,000 miles driving to everybody, the top four's houses. I'm just waving. Let me let them know. Honking the horn.

Beep, beep, beep. Number one. We drove, Ceci and I drove up to, we have a new grandkid. Ooh.

Oliver. Congratulations. Nice. Oliver, so we went up to meet Oliver.

Okay. You gotta see the baby. Yeah. So we drove up to Tallahassee to see the baby and spent the weekend up there, but we got to the, on the way up, it was the night of the billion dollar, mega million.

Yes. Yes. Or whatever. And we stopped at the Ocahumpa Service Plaza.

Right. And we thought, this is perfect. This is the kind of shit that- This is how it happens. This is the kind of thing that wins.

You know, this random Ocahumpa Plaza. So I bought tickets. And then we spent the rest of the next three and a half hour drive talking about how we were going to spend a billion dollars. Of course.

That's what you do. So it got us through that. And needless to say, I'm here. It's nice, isn't it?

Yeah, that's right. I'm sorry that you didn't make it. Didn't somebody Michigan win? Did he win?

I think so. Yeah. I have a nephew in Michigan. I immediately texted him and go, you're my favorite nephew.

I just want to know, I love you. I love you very much. I love you very, very much. He's like, what is this?

I go, just in case you won. Did you have you play Powerball? He wins a billion and he gives you a new car because he feels bad. Right.

Yeah, he gets a Mitsubishi. Well, you know, what would... Have you ever had the conversation where it kind of develops into an argument? Because I've had that happen where it's like, well, I really don't want to take care of this person.

They're like, well, fuck that. Oh, my wife, yeah. She's got a list of every relative. You got a list of this person.

" It didn't quite turn into an argument, but there were. There's a couple things. I was listing the people that I would be taking good care of. I'm sure I was first, and I appreciate that.

You really want to take care of that asshole? Yeah, right? Exactly. Exactly, yeah.

Aunt Sarah, who the hell's Aunt Sarah? Why is she getting some of my money? Like, Ceci, it's a billion dollars. You'd probably walk away with 700 billion in cash.

I was getting cash. I think that's what it was. So it ended with her telling me, all right, you got like a hundred million. You do whatever the fuck you want with it.

Right. Give that away. Right. Oh.

And then, and then I was like, all right. So she says, but I'm still going to give you shit for the people you want to take care of. Right. For the rest of your life.

I would love to say I'm going to fuck that guy. I mean, that'd be amazing. I just want to know, Jack said he'd give you a million and I said, fuck no. Just out of nowhere.

That'd be so amazing. Yeah. So yeah, well, that's cool. So you went, you met, you met Oliver?

I met Oliver. Oliver is a, Oliver's a cutie. I'll do a quick picture of Oliver. That's what, this is where you're actually, oh, look at that.

Little Ollie sleeping. Very nice. Very nice. So yeah.

So, Oliver Roy Rodriguez Puey. Holy, that's a mouthful. That's a mouthful. Yeah.

I'm here to kill your father, right? Yeah, he does, he does. Pretty much what a, we were there for days four, five, and today's day seven, for four, five, six, and part of seven. So you're looping back.

It really doesn't do anything. No, that's what a baby does. Yeah. It poops and you feed it, you know, and cries and that's it.

Yeah. Lay it down, that's it. But we had a real nice time. Ceci stayed.

Okay. I was hoping she wasn't out in the car. Yeah. Just stay here.

She's out in the car. That's what Sokka did. Sokka made his wife way down there. Did he?

Remember when Sokka was here, his wife was with him? when the air was broke. Yeah, but they were out front. Yeah, but it's funnier to say she's in the car.

Oh, yeah. So that didn't really happen. Oh. The hell, Michael?

Are you blowing up all these good jokes? Oh, it's because you're lying. I don't like it when you're lying. It's not lying.

It's show. So Ceci stayed till Saturday. So now I got to go home and bother Hector because. Oh, you're home alone.

Yeah, I'm home alone. Hector, come on over. What are you doing? I'm crazy.

Hey, I just want you to know that I had 10 million for you. Ceci said. Fuck no. He's got to get shit.

Actually, she okayed, she okayed, she okayed a boatload of money for Hector. Yeah, I don't see how you don't, and to be honest, I don't know how you don't okay money for Hector. Yeah, she okayed a bunch of money for Hector. Yeah, that guy, he is, you know, he's a student.

How about Eric, how much was Eric getting? Fuck that guy. That's the one. Not as much as Hector.

Eric, he's gonna be okay, don't you worry, you know? We'll buy Espinosa and fold it. It gets closed and down. I'm going to blow it up.

So what are you going to do with the office, Jack? I'm going to set it on fire. Oh, okay. Great.

Thank you so much. Starting with your office. Yeah. What I'm going to do is I'm going to piss on your desk.

I'm going to start there. And then I'm going to throw fucking gas on it. Well, but I mean, in all honesty, Erik is definitely one of the, in my personal opinion, he's probably like a top five good dude as far as industry guys. Absolutely.

That when you talk to him, like, you're fucking, you stand up. You know, he could be, you know, he's a tough, he's a hard ass, but he's a good fucking guy. I brought some, uh, I brought some people, some friends from Chicago, um, they're doing some sort of project and I wanted them to meet, uh, Eric and that morning that they were coming in, I said, uh, you know, I tried to, you know, not tell him how to, how to act, but you know, kind of just like be yourself. He's like, don't worry, man.

Don't worry, I'm good. " What did I say, bro? I got this. And then there, you know, I ended up going to a cigar shop with them, and they're like, they spent the whole time raving about Erik and how amazing Erik was.

He's such a nice man, did you believe how nice he was now? I had to think about, you know, do I go back and tell Eric, you know, like the next day I'm like, man, those guys really love you. What? Was there a doubt?

Well, maybe. We're at 29. We should just take a break right here. We'll take a break and then we'll get right into the camera and we'll get into the news.

You got commercials? Oh, yeah. Well, we have to break. The camera only runs for 30 minutes at a time.

All right, we'll be right back. Hey, it's Mike too. Want to be part of the show? com/TheCigarHustlersPodcast.

We have tiers starting at just $5 a month. For $10 a month, you get a special show swag, and then you're eligible for the weekly secret show. Secret shows cover in-depth cigar reviews, behind-the-scenes information, and sometimes we just talk shit about people. Choose which tier works best with your budget and become an official show hustler.

Thanks for the support. Don't hit your cigar there on the microphone. Alright, we're back, episode 158 with Jack Tarano. Is this thing on?

Are we on? Are we on? Are we on? Hector, Hector, are we on?

Can you see my MySpace? Is my MySpace working? " Who fucking cares? You know, what's even funnier, too, is he gets pissed if he misses it.

" Well, we mentioned you guys at the beginning of every show. Am I on? Well, I always try to jump in and say something real quick. " So we got a lot going on in the news.

I mean, we had this top 25, and then we had all this consensus, and everybody kind of gets out, so, uh-oh. Oh, excuse me. Get away into the news jingle. Can you turn it up?

There you go. There we go. It's news music. We have a new board, we can put in stuff and everything.

It's all types of upgrades. The camera doesn't work for more than half an hour. Right, but we got a board, microphone stands. I don't even want to tell you how expensive that goddamn camera was.

You don't even want to know. Case Elegance helped us pay that off though. Yeah, Case Elegance did help us pay that off. We were making payments to this guy.

Yeah. Yeah. And then sometimes we couldn't pay that guy, which would mean like, how much do we have? Fuck it.

Just keep it in the account. No way. Just don't answer the phone for the next 30 days so we can pay him again. Hi, is Michael there?

No. No, he's not. Well, we already talked about it. Espinosa La Ranja Reserva Scurro is the Cigar Snob 2020 Cigar of the Year.

Yeah, that, you know, that doesn't surprise me. I don't understand how that didn't, like, that's the thing that pisses me off. Obviously, we talked about CA and stuff before, but like, I smoked at a TPE and I thought it was an amazing cigar, right? And we brought it in every single cigar.

Yeah, you brought it home, you're like, you gotta try this. This is a great cigar. This is a great cigar. Yeah.

So, fuckin' A, good for you. Good for you. We were very excited. You know, that cigar, Hector and AJ worked on that blend and we were very excited when it, you know, war zone, Well, you're going to mention that next.

You're going to mention that next. Yeah, yeah. Warzone got number, we'll just segue into that. Warzone got number 13 on the cigar aficionado list.

Oh. Aficionado? Aficionado. Did it?

Did we talk about that? Warzone? We did when we did the entire list. Yeah, I don't even know what we said.

Jake said it right because it's Warzone. Did you have Warzone here? We have. No, no, we still have them.

I had one the other day. So then, yes. Yes. I don't know what's going on here.

He has no idea. Forrest gumping my way through the industry. Disconnected. No more Missy.

I know, I know, well, you know, I mean, speculatively speaking, you know, you break off something like that, either A, you know, something's for sale, which could be possibly happening, right? Or B, you know, you're going to be out of a job soon anyways. So, I don't know, I can't confirm any of that, I'm just kind of looking at that, and I've kind of made that statement before. Like, it's exciting to do, but I don't know, man, it's exciting at first, and then we're fueling the fucking growth next.

Yeah, yeah. I was part of that. Fueling the growth. Fueling the growth means you're fucking fired.

Fueling the growth works great for all the people that are there. That are still there. The ones they use for fuel. Doesn't end well for the people.

Oh, by the way, you're the fuel. You're the fuel. Have a nice day. Oh, and Merry Christmas.

Yeah. I know why this is the best podcast on Podbean. I can tell you. Oh, did you show Jack the trophy?

Oh, yeah. Oh, we got this. Did you see this? Nice.

Number one pod bean cigar confirmed. Cigar themed show on pod bean. Yeah. I thought maybe Mike was fucking with me because, you know, the whole bang thing.

But apparently it's actually legit. Son of a bitch. Yeah. Is that solid gold?

Yeah, this is solid. Solid gold. Don't hit it on the table. It'll break it.

Yeah, we're going to break it down so we can get some more shit. It's going to be amazing. You're going to melt it? Yeah.

To make the next camera pay. How much is this worth? All right. Well, then moving on.

The 2020 Factory of the Year is Nicasueno. Son of a bitch. Nicasueno edged out Hoya de Nicaragua by one point. Wow.

One of my favorites as well. Wow. Look at that. Despite receiving only one first place vote.

I've been seeing it for eight fucking years. Yes. Yay. Yay.

Finally some acknowledgement. But the reality is that if you go in, you fucking find the good tobacco, and you take the time, and you can identify. If you have somebody that can identify that sort of thing, I mean, you should be a contender every year, right? Good ingredients makes good cigars.

Right, it's just that simple, right? Now, there is something to be said about somebody who can take a mid-level quality tobacco and make it into something better, right, with particular blends, and those people get a nod, too, you know? Like, I always think about, like, I mean, tilapia fish is something that always sticks in my head. Like, you see that on every fucking restaurant, right, tilapia, and it's just fucking tilapia.

Right, because it's an easily farm-raised fish, so it's not that expensive. And it got the most, it's the number one selling fish in the country, yet it's got that bullshit story that they tag to it that it has all these diseases that don't... Right, and it eats shit and all that other stuff. Yeah, and all that stuff.

It's still the number one selling fish. But if you cook that thing the right way, if you do it right, it's banging. If not, it's just fucking tilapia. Right?

So, you know, there's something to be said about those factories as well. But there's something to be said about that they get Factory of the Year, the year Skip's away most of the year. Good point. That is a great point.

He did address that in one of his Facebook comments. I didn't think of that. Who addressed that? Skip did.

Skip did. Yeah, he gave credit to the team. Of course. I mean, Esteban and the team he left in place.

I mean, yeah, I mean, there is some, you know, he's always that kind of guy though. Like when it comes to acknowledgments, he always, you know, acknowledges everybody else around him without question. say you know i'm the fucking man you know that i don't think that that really plays that well if you do it's like oh you're a dick well you know i mean everybody thinks he is sometimes anyway so yeah but if you know the guy you know that he's actually sincere he's a nice guy yeah he just doesn't know how to facebook post you know he pisses off half the people it's just that's not pissing off somebody you're not doing it right yeah and might as well be 50 of the population he was kind of quiet through code yeah you know what not really he made it well he no yeah yeah Yeah, he, like, it was like, man, I got to be totally honest, I was fucking nervous for him, right? Like, I was concerned, and I checked in all the time to a point where I know I annoyed the fuck out of him, and.

I was trying to, I didn't want to be that annoying, so every couple days, how you feel, and I'd send him a text. And the fact that he'd answer right away was a good sign. Yeah, I didn't care if I was going to annoy him or not. I love the guy like a brother.

Oh, I thought you were going to say, you can't hear me, live or die. Nobody's going to make my goddamn cigars if he dies. And I actually care tremendously. I called Esteban, told him I love him.

But what's funny to me is... Esteban, how are you? Are you feeling okay? Once I knew he was out of the woods, I'm like, so we're gonna do a near-death experience every five years?

I mean, what the fuck? But yeah, I like the fact that he's lying... Near-death is a good name for a cigar, by the way. Near-death experience.

I like the fact that he's... The graph 2021, the near-death. The fucking guy's lying on his deathbed, he's still throwing jabs on Facebook. He's like, oh yeah, by the way, fuck this guy.

cool like feeling anybody's like no i'm still feel like shit i'm like okay cool well at least you know you still have the spunk so that's good yeah that's good okay amen what else you got news there mikey tampa cigar heritage festival cancels the march event and now they're planning maybe uh december the 2020 edition of the cigar heritage festival will not be happening as the event organizers have decided they won't be able to hold the event in march as hoped you got the one from october was pushed back to march now the one for march is pushed back to december you got a figure You hope. I mean, at this point, the more people I see at the gym, like, nobody's wearing a mask. Whatever. Well, it's Florida.

I mean, we don't, you know, they almost don't care in Florida anymore. I feel like... We need the tourists, just nobody dies, okay? So when we got up to Tallahassee, we had a great raid at this Indigo, not realizing it was College Park.

Oh. Which is good or bad? Horrific. Okay, good.

It was insane what was going on there. The college students were just going bananas, it's in the center of all the bars, so the kids are renting rooms, they're like 90 bucks for really nice rooms, and the kids are renting rooms to be able to shuttle, because the bars close early. " those girls. The WooHoo Girls.

The WooHoo Girls. And your wife believed you didn't do that on purpose? Right. Oh my god.

You wanna know what I'm gonna do with my first hundred million, Jack? I'm gonna divorce your dumb fucking ass. The first room we go to, there's a massive party next to it. So we're like, we had just driven seven hours.

We wanna go to sleep. It's midnight. The Tallahassee Drive is the worst. So they move us to another room.

Right. Within five minutes. Woo! There's the WooHoo Girls out there.

" They moved us to a handicap room that had no furniture. It had nothing. So needless to say, the next morning, they ended up giving us a room for free and we checked out. Right.

And, uh, but it was... You sleep on the floor? No furniture? No beds?

No nothing? No, the bed is there, but it was not a chair to be had. Like, you open the closet, it sucks. There's no closet, Rod, no nothing.

What? No, nothing. But you open the closet, and the rug is down there. Everything's down there.

The rug is down here. So, it was... It's leaning this way in the corner. Jack, did you hang my clothes?

No, I can't. It was the midget circuits all over again. I threw them on the floor. So, we ended up going to where we go to the Hotel Duval, which is apparently where all the legislators that are in session, that's where they're banging their secretaries.

Oh, nice. Luckily, they weren't in session. There's a lot more woohoos going on. But on the 8th floor, there's a cigar bar.

Oh, very much. Beautiful outdoor cigar bar. That's where they shelter in place there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, honey, I'm going to be working and I can't leave because I don't want to get in contact with you. I'm going to have to stay at the door. My wife's a big fan of the point, the short story. Yes.

And they give us a menu and the short story was $25. I believe it. She's like, I don't want a short story. You know what?

I think I'm good. I don't know. I said, honey, I got a suitcase full of cigars. We have other options.

We have other choices. I am in the industry. Oh, but those are Espinosa's. I got one.

Oh, she's a big fan of the Carrema. She loves the Carrema. It's a really good cigar. I mean, I ordered some.

I got fucking Habana's. I mean, I even circumvented-- You know, I opened the box, and I was like, dude, wait, that's not what we discussed. I was like, this isn't what I got. Richie Riott packed that, just so you know.

Oh, man, he's on my shit list. Oh, poor Richie. You know, so these, like, they're a fucking tag team of fuck sticks between fucking Alfredo and Richie Riott. I'm like, holy shit.

See, now they're just fucking with you now. Yeah, he's like, you know what? No, I do have to check the order form because it's possible that I'm going to punch it in. You know what?

Even if you did, I still stood a better chance of getting a product with you than I do Alfredo. Alfredo? Alfredo. Alfredo.

Yeah, because he's fucking fried. So he finally got back to me about the fucking way one say shit, like Friday. You sent me the text messages. Yeah, I did.

And he says, when I told him, I said, dude, Mike at Hustler is looking for you. " It's like he called your bluff. " I hope he has two phones. Just one for you that he doesn't touch.

He got quite offended at the Facebook comment with the old picture of him on the phone. Oh, yeah? He got quite upset with all the frowny faces and... That's okay, what's he gonna do, fuck with our pots and pans?

I mean, he's gonna not send me product? I mean, who cares? Oh, I'm really upset, bro. Okay, you'll be fine.

Get back on your fucking treadmill and plan off in this, bro. If it is, bro, you'll be okay. I promise you. I promise.

I love the guy. He's a person. It's fine. Alfredo's the best, bro.

Best of what? He's working out. He's very thin now, very smelt. Alfredo's awesome.

I got nothing bad to say about Alfredo. Oh, okay. Well, I'll just keep providing the evidence then. It's just the Alfredo bashing hour.

See, I know that I can comfortably send you that shit because I know that his job isn't in jeopardy with you, right? Like, I would never, ever purposely try and get the guy, like, removed, right? Like, I wouldn't go out of my way to somebody who I think that would, it would actually harm him. But I know that I can send it to you, and we can have a fucking laugh about it, and we can rib the shit out of him.

So, I don't want you to think that I'm actually trying to get him fucking fired, because I'm definitely not. Not from that company. But, I mean, if you fired him, you'd be fired. If you put somebody else in, I mean, it would be good for my numbers, but, you know, whatever.

You need a groover or a cog? If Malolo didn't make a move, it would. If you ever cut ties with them, just let me fire him, okay? Hey Alfredo, they want you to be a guest on the show.

Oh yeah, we do it on the show. Really, they want me on the show? Yeah, you gotta come out, you gotta come out. You gotta come on the show.

We have a surprise. Espinosa will no longer need your services. How do you feel? Call and have Pete do it.

I'm gonna need proof is what he's gonna say. I'm gonna need proof. Here's a text from Jack. Get 'em out.

I'm gonna have to see that. Tell 'em his shit's out front. Oh, good stuff. All right.

We've only got 50 more minutes. You wanna bash him some more? This is really easy. This is just, you know, you throw Jack in the mix or you fucking forget it.

All right. The Biden administration announced regulatory freeze, including substantial equivalency updates passed earlier this week. Yeah. I don't know if you're gonna say it.

It means nothing. 'Cause usually I'm only getting the headlines in, so this is great for me. So what does that actually mean? It means nothing.

" They need to catch up. But it doesn't affect the cigar industry either way. That's good. Yeah, because we've been banned for, they abolished or suspended indefinitely substantial equivalency as of right now.

So. Hey, we have a listener of the week. Yeah. Tom Brady, special listener of the week.

Tom Brady? Yes. Tom Brady. Pretty sure I know the name.

I slid that in for my boy Adam Acri. Oh. What are you doing over there? Are you cheating?

Looking at notes? No, no, it didn't print out the last thing on this page. But we have a listener of the week. We have Mr.

Ben Roland. Heyo. I know Ben Roland. Do you?

Maybe. Oh. He lives in Texas. He came in to see us last week.

He did. Unfortunately, the reason for the visit was a death in the family, but he's still able to squeeze in a trip to Cigar Hustler. Hi, honey, I'm very sorry, but I'm going to hustle here. Like a professional, it's like, you know what, you guys need some time to grieve, I'm just gonna step out.

Just gonna step out, it's a family thing, you know, and I'm just gonna-- Look, look, look, we're friends on Facebook. There you go, that's the guy. That's the guy. You know what's really funny is he actually worked with Skip when Skip had the retail shop, I believe.

No way. Yeah, that's what he said, right, yeah. He worked for Skip way back when. I wonder what the fuck that was.

Surprisingly, he didn't have any Skip stories, though. He didn't really say anything bad about him. No, he just said that. Yeah.

Like he's might have signed something that he can't discuss. Skip seems like a good boss to work for. Yeah. No, he definitely is.

It's like, but he's going to tell you when you're fucking up, right? Oh, without a doubt. And it'll break it down. And if you're not receptive, that's a problem.

No one fucker's handing out Panerai watches and shit. Oh, we should ask to see his watch. Yeah. Hey, Ben, what kind of watch?

Did you get the Panerai? Oh, no. That was pre-Panerai. That was pre-Panerai.

That was pre-Panerai. Yeah, he got the Invicta. It was retail. It was totally different.

Smaller checks in retail, brother. You got the Invicta, you know, without question. So, yeah, Ben, thanks for coming in. Is Invicta still around?

Oh, yeah, it is. It is. The QVC probably still has the whole channel. It's like 80% off.

It's like today only. It's always one on Facebook. I get ads. " That's about what you can get them for now, about $150.

Yeah, I believe it. Suggested retail is still $5K, though. Who knows the market there? Kaisad?

Oh, my. Oh, my. Wow, just dropping them left and right. Are you reaching for the gong?

No, no, it's all electronic now. Just moved it, so I didn't hit it. Yeah, we've moved it up. It's electronic.

We went from the dink to the... So, do you have anything else in particular going on that you guys are working on? I'm hoping to start traveling again, man. This isn't you.

Yeah, it's been a crazy year. " Really? So, the two events we had got canceled. Right.

It's hard, man, especially state by state. I mean, well, especially if you're not going to Florida or Texas. Yeah. Right?

Because those are really the only two states that are kind of wide open. Everything else is... Oh, Texas is wide open now too? Sort of like we are?

Almost as much as us. Almost as much. Yeah. But listen, I think it's inevitable that we're all gonna either get COVID or like four or five vaccines, I think.

I don't know. Dude, you know, I don't know, man, because I feel like at this point I've either A, been in contact and had it, or B, I've been in contact and my body's like, yeah, I'm good. And it boosts, you know, like my immune system is... makes me asymptomatic or some shit you know what i mean because i give blood like every i donate blood like every three months yeah and and they give you the antibody the antibody test comes with that right and i'm always hoping that you have it that you have antibodies i'm positive for the antibodies hey i must have had it right right yeah then they say you're good for like five months is that it yeah yeah that's it i know yeah my son's a firefighter and he gets tested every Three days or something like that.

He got tested, didn't have it, and then he got tested, did have it, but he never had any symptoms. Yeah, my stepson's a firefighter in Nashville and he, they did a class to move after his second year, I think they were just to become senior firefighters. Right. And like 12, on day three of the class, 12 of the people came in sick.

Oh, wow. Boom. And they shut the class down, they all had COVID. Yeah.

And he had minor, he didn't have fever, he didn't lose his sense of taste or smell, but he had, he felt like he had a bad cold. Right. And he cleared it. Again, he's 27 years old.

I mean, he cleared it in five days. Like they should have domed the colleges and just let it fucking run around the room. Like the NBA. Yeah, but it's a reverse bubble.

It's like, here, this one person has COVID. Everybody breathe around this person. Everybody go ahead and take some in. Like the chicken box parties?

Yeah, just get it over with. You know, statistically speaking, in that age bracket, there's a great chance that you're going to be okay. Oh, yeah. Right, yeah.

So, let's get it out of the way. There's another one to run through. Right? Speed it up in some areas.

Slow it down in some. We should do that here at the shop. I have COVID. Quick, lick my cheek.

We've been lucky here. I mean, nobody's- We've been very fortunate. Nobody's come through here at all either, so. Yeah, yeah.

We had one employee test positive and no symptoms, very young, and they were fine. And then, you know- Think about bag and shot them. No, no, you know, like- That's what I wanted to do. I was like, we need to put that one down.

down they actually you know the our employees kind of do the right thing which is kind of awesome because um when they test like their parent had got it so they said i'm going to test too just to make sure they tested they tested positive said hey i'm i'm not coming in i'm good so then anybody who was in contact with them they went and got tested they were all negative right wow problem solved we did a good job you know right they sat out for about a week week and a half they sat out We kept them for 14 days. We kept them for two weeks. The closest the closest we came was we had-- Skip Facebook test? Fucking Juan Lopez.

We do, you know the twins, the Garcias in Seattle? Oh, yeah, yeah. So they're coming down to Miami, and they're staying with Juan. And we're all going to get together at Empire down in Dadeland.

And it's the twins, Juan, me and Ceci, and I think maybe Luis and Denise Cuevas And you know, Denise Cuevas were coming or not coming or they were going to be there, so it was six or seven people, regardless, it was going to be, the guy with COVID was there, Juan Lopez. That guy's got everything. So, when we get there, it's about, now half of Gurkha's company is there, Abe Flores is there, Alex Menendez is, I mean, there's 20 people and I took a picture with everybody behind me and it was like, you know, You know, welcome to your super spreader event, I thought twice about, after I put it on Facebook, and uh, three days, I didn't, hey, fuck them, three days, I thought about it, then I put it up, I thought about it, but I was far away from everybody, but Wani's a social butterfly, so Wani had made contact with everybody, at some point, he hit every person, and uh, three days later, I'm at work, and Wani, you know, actually my cousin, Carlos, hey, hey, hey cousin, how you feelin'? I feel great.

What's going on? Yeah, how are you? I just want you to know Juan tested positive for COVID. Oh, my God.

Oh, fuck. So I got up and left Espinosa. We all went and got tested, and he didn't spread it to anybody there. Wow.

Wow, that's lucky. 18 people. Must be something in the tobacco. You know, it's funny because we can joke about those things when everybody's in the clear and we know that everybody's okay.

You know, it's definitely no laughing matter when somebody dies and shit like that. Your fucking COVID is just so random. Yeah, you just don't fucking know. You just don't fucking know.

I mean, you could throw 18 people again with one, and 17 will test positive a few days later. Right, and then one person, nothing. It's crazy. It's crazy.

So, I don't know. Yeah. I'm a big believer in the vitamin D thing, but like you- The shot in the pee-pee. The shot in the pee-pee helps, too.

The shot in the pee-pee? Yeah, this is an ongoing joke for me. He gets a shot. Because I take glutathione and I take TRT, so- In the pee-pee?

No, it's not in the pee-pee, but he likes to go with that. Oh, he's definitely in the pee-pee. Yeah, he likes to go in the pee-pee. Definitely in the pee-pee.

But, you know, vitamin D… That'd be in the butt, Bob. They read the instructions backwards. Just let me know when you guys are fucking in. You better hurry, we got seven minutes.

You said pee-pee, our elementary school. That's right. So your body… Heart jokes are next. There's a great chance that you don't take enough vitamin D, right?

So, like, the recommendation is no more than 5,000 IUs, right? However, studies have shown that 10,000 IUs is actually probably more beneficial. So I take 10,000 IUs, 5,000 in the morning, 5,000 in the evening. Two shots?

What's an IU? I don't know. It's a measurement. Are you drinking a bucket of this?

No, it's a chewy. It's like two chewies or 5,000 IUs. So I take four chewies, two in the morning, two in the evening. Yeah.

And then I just started this beetroot powder to kind of... Oh, my Lord. Beetroot? Beetroot.

Now you're mad at beetroot. Do you read a new book? Yeah, no, yeah, I actually have. Every time he reads a book, he changes.

So beetroot powder is like a good energy source. It helps expand like the blood vessels, helps muscles go, blood go into your muscles and stuff like that, as well as, you know, boosts the immune system and all that other happy, good stuff because it's a vegetable, right? So I take longer, stronger erection, longer, stronger. That's why it's in the pee pee.

Yeah, so there's a sweetener they make from beets. It's definitely, it tastes like fucking grass. It's terrible. Does it?

Yeah, but... Oh, now it's working. I know it tastes like a brulee. You used to drink that grass stuff every day, too.

I did, the wheatgrass. Yeah, the wheatgrass. That was such a process. I had to grow the grass.

That was a book a long time ago. Yeah, that was a long time ago. What is your annual budget for all these... I don't want to talk about it.

All these different things. It's less than cold, the hot plunge, the cold plunge. He is in much better shape than I am. Yeah, I'm just saying.

I mean, if you want to go to the gym and test the theory... We're not talking strength. Yeah. We'll see where you're at when you get to be Jack and I's age.

Well, hey, that's what the glutathione does. Supposedly anti-aging. That's what you think. I'll let you know.

Those bodybuilder, they don't age well. No, no, they don't. They don't. Well, it depends upon what they're taking, bro.

I mean, come on. I hear beetroot. Yeah, beetroot's not good for you. Yeah?

You heard about that? It should only be two IUs or whatever. Anything over 6,000 vitamin D IUs is not good for you either. Just the way.

You're just making very expensive urines all your day. Oh, okay. I just wouldn't take advice from either one of you, motherfuckers, so talk away. I love it when a fat guy tells me what I'm doing wrong and the fucking, oh, you know what you should do at the gym?

I'm like, I don't really care what you have to fucking tell you. Hey, I've made it to 60. Yeah, good for you, that's a big one. I'm at 54, I'm right behind him.

Somebody asked me, hey, do you know what you should be doing? I'm like, minding my own business? How the fuck does that sound? Oh, man.

Wow. Were we reviewing these things? Yeah, the next one. The next one.

We're going to review it on the Patreon. The next show. Oh, that's why we started. Yes.

We started smoking it now. So this is not the Patreon. No, the Patreon. Shit, I've said some things on here that I thought was...

Oh, yeah, no, no. Yeah, you're fucked now. I'm fucked now. I thought this was the Patreon.

No, you'll be fine. Oh. Oh, good. So good.

Should be good ratings, though. Oh, yeah. Jet shows are always a big... It'll never breach 145, though.

I can tell you, that one was fucking astronomical. Episode 145. That was... Yeah, that was...

2000... Outerworldly numbers. All right. All right.

We can wrap this up. We're, uh, we're almost done. We're going to move on to the Patreon. You let us know.

I've used all my A material here. If we have to edit anything out, we will for you, Jack. Oh, I don't know. I think, I think you're okay.

I think you're, just line on. Oh yeah, we'll edit it right out. Yeah, sure. I can turn that section up.

Yeah. Yeah. Fuck that guy. Alright, this has been episode 158 of the Cigar Hazard Podcast.

Thank you everybody. Thank you. We're going to move on to the Patreon. Tom Brady.

Tom Brady? I've been like on 18% of these things. He's been like in 18% of the Super Bowls. Right, exactly.

He's been in 10 fucking Super Bowls. Out of 55. Is it just two teams or is it more than one? Just two teams.

Well, as of right now, it's officially two teams. Did you really ask that question? He knows nothing about sports. I don't know.

No, I wouldn't even pluralize it. He knows nothing about sport. Fucking period. There's more than one, but there's just the one, right?

Yeah. You know, what's funny, though, is his wife, Aidy King Palmer, is a Kansas City fan because that's where she's from. Oh, her son was with us last night watching the game at the bar for the after-party thing. Yeah.

He's yelling at the TV and screaming. You got it. Well, I mean, you know, Kansas City had control of that game, which I thought Buffalo was gonna take it, but... Did you really?

I did. Because they have a defense that's fucking immense. Yeah, not only yesterday they did. They did not show up.

No. They did not show up, so... much firepower over there in kansas city although i think i don't know man although i think tampa bay takes it i think so too knock on fucking wood never never tears will be coming from my tears will be coming from my eyes i'll tell you right now if they fucking win especially if i'm there with my son are you driving to tampa to like burn down a car or something are you i'm definitely gonna riot without question yeah you have to wait if they win i riot if they lose we We riot twice. We burn more shit.

If you want to go over and stay at Alex's house. And if it's a bad call that you lose on it? Oh, the whole city's done then. Let it burn.

Let it burn. As you're still finishing this cigar watching the thing burn down. I need something for my Instagram post. Me and my son torching a fucking building.

Bucks lives matter. Bucks lives matter. Oh, Jesus. Oh, my God.

All right, we should go now. We should go now. All right, all right. We did not say that.

That was all Jack. We're going to edit that one out. A Cigar Hustlers podcast, its owners, and its sponsors take no responsibility for the opinions or statements made by the talk show host or their guest. Statements or show topics are not necessarily the beliefs of Mike and Mike Productions or the podcast providers, and opinions between talk show hosts may differ.

It is not our intention to libel, incite, or hurt anyone's feelings. We invite you to write the show's host, Mike Szczepankewicz, with any feedback or suggestions that you have for their shows. These broadcasts are presented and made public as entertainment, in the hope that they will be entertaining to the audience. This has been a Cigar Hustlers Podcast, a Mike and Mike production.

m. for all new episodes. Hi, I'm doing, I'm Husto Eroa. Yeah, we just don't have to do a single, uh, single podcast ever again.

Perfect. I'm good, Mike and Mike. How are you guys doing? The Hojo D.

Hojo! It's the Hojo! He didn't even let him fuck it up all the way. I'm gonna get past Hojo!

I don't even have to try it. He's not even gonna try it. We're gonna, we're gonna cover a lot of ground here, Mike. All right.

Try to keep up. That's a sign of a good podcast. It could be like four cigars when I walked in a door. All right, end this.

Show Notes

This week Jack Torano makes a visit to hang out and do his favorite show once again!!  We love having Jack on he. is one of our favorite Guest!!