169 Mike Too Survived! Fire in Honduras and Mikey finally gets it!
Episode Summary
Episode 169 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast opens with Mike and Mike catching up after one of them spent four days home sick (not "the Rona," he insists), plus the usual tangents about binge-watching Mayans M.C., Your Honor and The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Saturday flooring projects with the handyman, and a Monopoly session where dad refused to let his kids win. They also revisit the ongoing United/Two Guys Smoke Shop story, clarifying that David Garofalo is an investor in United Cigars and has long-running bad blood with Pete Johnson — with Mikey sticking to his "let it go and be friends" advice.
The news block is the meat of the episode. Mombacho Cigars S.A. names Indiana Ortez — daughter of Omar Ortez, known for her work on Ventura's Psycho Seven Nicaragua — as general manager, making her the first Nicaraguan female GM of a cigar company, following Claudio Sgroi's departure and Cam Heaps' return as president during Mombacho's 15th anniversary year. Alec Bradley announces a move to 24-count boxes across its regular production lines to avoid 2021 price increases, citing sales data from Kintsugi and Project 40 Maduro — data the hosts argue is skewed by pandemic-era buying and different release timing. That press release is immediately overtaken by news of a fire in Jamastran, Honduras, that destroyed three of four curing barns and multiple greenhouses on the La Mujica farm growing Alec Bradley tobacco; Alan Rubin says the barns were uninsurable, the cause appeared electrical, and the leaf was earmarked for 2025–26 production, so there's no short-term impact.
Also covered: Crowned Heads teasing Las Calaveras Edición Limitada 2021 with four vitolas, the first torpedo since 2018 and the line's first pigtail cap, with Jon Huber declining further details; and General Cigar's upcoming Macanudo Inspirado Brazilian Shade, a limited edition using a Connecticut Shade wrapper grown in Bahia, Brazil over a Mexican San Andrés binder with Brazilian Mata Fina, Cubita, Piloto Cubano and Jalapa fillers. The hosts smoke a RoMa Craft Cro-Magnon Firecracker (saving the full review for Patreon) and an FQT, run through Florida's lawsuit against the Biden administration over CDC cruise restrictions, two ridiculous news stories, announce Stephen Wells as the $25 gift card giveaway winner, and list upcoming events including the Voyage release party with Danny, S&M Smoke Shop, and a RoMa Craft axe-throwing event.
In This Episode
- 01Sick Week, TV and MonopolyThe hosts catch up after a four-day cold quarantine, riffing on Mayans M.C., Your Honor, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier and crushing the kids at board games.
- 02United Cigars, David Garofalo and Pete JohnsonAn update clarifying Garofalo's investment in United Cigars and his long-standing feud with Pete Johnson, plus Mikey's 'just let it go' take.
- 03Mombacho Names Indiana Ortez General ManagerOmar Ortez's daughter becomes the first Nicaraguan female GM of a cigar company, following Claudio Sgroi's exit and Cam Heaps' return as president.
- 04Alec Bradley Moves to 24-Count BoxesThe hosts pick apart the sales data behind Alec Bradley's shift to 24-count boxes to avoid 2021 price hikes.
- 05Fire Destroys Alec Bradley Tobacco in HondurasThree of four curing barns and several greenhouses burn on the La Mujica farm in Jamastran, with Alan Rubin saying the uninsured loss won't affect near-term production.
- 06Crowned Heads Teases Las Calaveras 2021Four vitolas including the first torpedo since 2018 and the line's first pigtail cap, still made at My Father Cigars.
- 07Macanudo Inspirado Brazilian ShadeGeneral Cigar's limited edition uses Connecticut Shade grown in Bahia, Brazil over San Andrés binder with Brazilian, Dominican and Nicaraguan fillers.
- 08Florida vs. CDC Cruise Rules, Giveaway and EventsDeSantis sues the Biden administration over cruise restrictions, Stephen Wells wins the $25 gift card, and upcoming events are announced.
Brands & Cigars Discussed
Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.
Transcript
Here comes a boom. Hit the button. Welcome to episode 169, the Cigar Hustler Podcast. 69.
169. That means somebody's watching. I've been sick, leave me alone. You got the Rona.
I did not have the Rona. Rona, Rona, Rona, Rona, Rona. I do feel like the medicine is wearing off. Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike Alright, today's show brought to you by the Octodore by Case Elegance, the team at Case Elegance has spent years meticulously crafting this humidor to be their largest and best yet, fitting up to 100 cigars.
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So much going on over there, Michael. They're very distracting. I'm just having fun. Very distracting.
I'm just here for a good time. What do we got up for the Patreon review today? Uh, some firecracker thing you got. Some firecracker.
Some firecracker. He's a firecracker. He's a firecracker. Ooh, the new Steve, this one, the Cro-Mags?
Is that what it is, the Cro-Mag firecracker? I've had this before. Yes, the Cro-Mag, oh, the screen off. The Cro-Mag firecracker.
Is it real crooked? Or is it broken? No, mine is not broken. Oh.
Is there a broken one? No, I would, uh, I would have said if you're not happy with the outlook of yours, I would take it, but you're dying and I don't want you to touch me. I'm going to light it and boom! Ah!
Okay. But that's not the end you light, so. Yes. Well, this is going to be my first cigar of the day.
I'm going to light this up right now. You sure? It's very small. I might not have a time we get to the Patreon.
It's okay. I'll write that down. Make notes? Yeah.
I want to smoke something. I don't think you like to make notes. I want to smoke something. Smoke something else from the Case Elegance Humidor.
From the Case Elegance Humidor? You want me to? Let me see. You want to?
I'd have to go with something light. Ooh, a little FQT number one. Little guy? Smoke that little fella.
Okay. I'll put that down. Put that back in there? Yeah, okay.
I'll put mine back in there. Just don't cross the streams. Don't let them touch now that I've handled it. I licked your microphone again this week.
Perfect. So, we've not seen each other in several days. Several days. I've been sick with a cold.
Don't Rona. He's had a sieve. He's had a sieve. I had a sieve.
I had the Zika, but I didn't make any funny ha-ha things I felt that was in poor taste. You know what the sieve is, right? It's Civis, right? No, I don't know what it's Civis.
Mmm. I don't know if I'd share with you. Mmm. No.
Sand in... I don't have sand in my vagina. You had a little cough. What's the big fucking deal?
I had a cough, I had a cold, no fever. Oh, this is a bit of hurt. Call the attorney. Get the paperwork done.
Call the attorney, I'm dying. This is it. This could be it. This could be it.
I stayed home for four days. Yeah. Self-quarantined. Nobody here would get the cold.
Self-quarantined. Guaranteed. It's too late. It's probably in the air.
But now it's bam, you gotta go to work. Bam, you gotta go to work. That's right, Steve Saka. Bam, you gotta go to work.
Man, I can feel, I can hear a feed. I hope it doesn't continue. I hope it doesn't make it. You know, I don't hear it over here.
Okay. Is all your cords in? I just pushed 'em all. I just pushed a bunch of 'em.
I don't know. I think it might be a little better now. Yeah. It's still there.
Don't hear it over here. It's not, it's only, it's mainly when you talk. Wow. Nothing showing up on the thing here.
Okay, that's good. So anyways, so you've been out. You've been out with the sand. What?
You've been out with the sand. Yes. Yes, and now you're back. Now I'm back.
I'm fine. Almost all better. Yeah? So you didn't really do anything then?
I watched a lot of TV. A lot of TV. A lot of TV. One day I watched Bang all day, and one day I watched Friends all day.
What the fuck is "Bang"? Big Bang Theory. Oh, there's a term for it, like a short term? Bang.
Bang or Bang? I watch Bang. You watch Bang? I watch Friends, I just got one word.
Friends? Bang? Friends, I've started watching... I watch Friends, I watch Bang, then I watch a little porn, Friends at Bang.
No, no porn. That just gets you excited and then you're coughing more. That's not fun. Let's see, I've started watching Mayans.
Oh. Yeah, how was that? Oh man, I wouldn't get... I'm seven episodes into the season.
Well, when it first came out originally, I did not like it at all. But I'm seven episodes into the first season. If it doesn't change here soon, I might give up. You're giving it the axe.
Maybe. I finished Your Honor. I'm going to try to watch the whole first season and then make my decision. I finished Your Honor.
It's very complicated. What's going on? I finished Your Honor. Oh, yeah?
Yeah. Any good? Eh. No?
I don't know. I watched a movie called The Tax Collector with Shia LaBeouf. He played a Mexican. I don't fucking watch anything with Shia LaBeouf.
Oh, he played a Mexican. He got killed. It was fun to watch him killed. All right, maybe I'll take that back.
Maybe we'll watch that movie then. Ah, gotcha. Love to see it. Yes, we've started.
God damn it, man. What? What? What?
Go away. What, he didn't believe you? I know. It's ridiculous.
Very. Have you started? Get me a cigar, though. I started because, you know, we got a review together.
I'm like, no, we don't. You can review and write this shit down and get back to us. We are busy. Busy.
We have an empire here. We're over here building things. Did you catch up on Winter Soldier and yada yada? No, I don't have that yet.
I don't have it still. Oh, the US agent's here. He's arrived. And Battlestar is about to be created.
Battlestar Galactica? No, the guy's name is Battlestar. These two guys in this movie, in the show, I mean, if you know a little bit about the comics, he's not Captain America, he's actually a US agent. He's actually stronger than Captain America.
Oh, yeah, but he's Kurt Russell's son, but he's a little dirty. He doesn't look like Kurt Russell, like Google does. Oh, yes, he does. I don't think he does.
Yeah, he does. I don't think so. Big Kurt Russell fan. Don't think so.
Okay, well, he does. He looks like the love child of Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, and that's what he is. Well, he is the love child of... That's what I just said.
Right. Um, but yeah, he's actually a US agent, and then like his buddy just died or whatever, yada yada. but he's Battlestar. Spoiler alert.
People aren't watching. They should be caught up by now. Maybe not. He's Battlestar.
Galactica. No, just Standard. Starbuck. No, just Starbuck and Apollo.
Nope, just, and he actually hinted towards it in the last episode. With the. I've been drawing Battlestars. Oh, with the Cylons.
I've been. I've been drawing Battlestars. The guys with the Michael Knight eyeball in them. All right, I'm done.
I'm done talking to you. I'm done talking to you. I will tell you this, that. Yes.
So my son acquired a bunch of gift cards for his birthday. Oh, on top of the Easter Bunny gift cards. Yes, and a lot of them were to Target, so he's been hounding. Oh, the guy goes shopping!
He's been hounding mommy about going to Target, so he brought home a bunch of board games, which I'm really excited about. Oh, board games. Yeah, so we played Guess Who for a little bit. They still make those?
What? They still make board games? Yeah, they still exist. There's not like electronic versions?
Oh, there are apps for all of them. Oh, okay. But it's fun to play the real games. Yes.
Yes. So we played Guess Who, which was fun. Oh. It was fun.
And when I beat him in Guess Who? He didn't care. I crushed him a few times. I think he might have beat me once.
Guess Who? I'm not familiar with that game. Really? It sounds familiar, I'm sure, if I saw it.
It's been around for a hundred years. So you pull out a card, and it's a person, and it's a boy or girl, and you ask the other person, is yours a boy or girl? Oh, like 20 questions. And then they knock down all the pains.
You have to ask each other questions. Does yours have facial hair? No, you beat the ten-year-old. No, he's eight.
Eight-year-old. I added yours, I didn't want to beat you. I just want you to know, I will dunk on my son all day. Oh, very mean.
Nothing comes free in this house. Very mean. So, um, we played Monopoly. Yes.
And, uh, I broke him in Monopoly. I definitely shattered his life and dreams. Are you feeling happy, Michael? Oh, it was amazing.
You're being an eight-year-old? You know, listen, it's part of life, man. You gotta learn, you gotta learn, you know, you gotta learn the strategy of the game. So, uh, he got pegged, you know, and first, there was like, we were playing with the Manny.
Yes. Oh. Jax, Justice. She called the Wanny?
The Wanny? The Wanny? The Wanny. The Wanny.
The Wanny. The Wanny. The Wanny and the Wanny. So, the Manny went out first.
Justice refused to buy any properties. None? None. He didn't buy anything.
No. You want to buy that? No. So, he bought nothing.
So, how does he increase his income? Just pass and go? I don't know. Yeah, I guess it worked out pretty well for him because he stuck it out for a while.
Oh. I mean, then he went down. Then Jax went down. Meltdown.
Because he, I pelted him. Well, he's a little young. It was the Super Mario one. So we played, it was like Boardwalk, but it was like Bowser's Kingdom.
Oh. Yeah. So I fucked him up when he landed on that. Took all his stuff, started crying.
Then he started rooting for the Manny's wife. Oh. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starts, you know, because now wants me to lose. Well, guess what? Guess who won? Guess who dominated Monopoly?
I'm feeling pretty good. You beat all the children. Look, man, I'm not gonna let, I'm, listen, the fact of the matter is that you gotta earn this shit. You're supposed to let the kids win.
No fucking way. No one's born on third in my house, pal. Oh, still let them win. I didn't raise you that way, Michael.
Yeah, and I came out pretty messed up. So now I know that I got to go a different direction. That's what I'm doing. Taking it a different spot, you know.
It makes more sense this way for me. Don't know where your mother and I went wrong. I'm not sure what happened there. I don't know.
You want to call her? No, don't call her. No, no callings this week. You're very funny.
You're a very funny boy. Who's that man sitting with you? Have I met him before? Oh, yeah.
Who is that? Who is this man? Oh, yeah. Good old bopsie.
So, yeah. That's pretty much all I got for the week, man. You know, continuing to work on Florian on Saturday. It's been the bane of my existence.
Oh, so the handyman came over? Of course. The handyman comes over almost every Saturday. Oh, does he?
Yeah, we worked. Did he get the French toast? No, no. That's on Sunday.
Oh. So we work for about three or four hours, and then we smoke cigars. And start drinking. Oh.
But, you know, we made some progress. We're almost done. I feel like... It's been like a year and a half now.
We're approaching a year. We're approaching a year. Wow. But, you know.
You're working at the same pace my neighbor's reconstructions. Hey, at least they show up every week and we get a little more done. Oh. Oh.
So, it's a big undertaking. Well, you only work in three hours a Saturday. I know. I got a lot going on.
It takes a lot, you know, it takes an hour and a half just to get everything back out. Yeah, you got to get situated. Then an hour and a half to put everything back. But then time's up, we light up a cigar.
You like some of the bougie tequila? We'll start with the bougie tequila. And what if you have to go to Home Depot? If you go to Home Depot, it's fucked.
The day's totally fucked. Oh, the day's ruined then. Oh shit, you know what we need? We need this.
Every job is two and a half trips to Home Depot. Yeah, at least. Well, I mean, if you... The half a trip is when you're returning something you bought on the second trip.
Because you bought too much. $100. It costs you at least $100 every time you go. Wow.
Oh, you wanted that? Okay. So, yeah. Yeah, but it's coming together nicely.
Good. It's all pretty much done. We're just doing quarter-round stuff. Oh, you're just doing the edging?
Yeah. Fuck, just finish! Do we need a break for... No, we're good, we're good.
Then just finish. We're almost done. If it's just a quarter-round, just knock it out in a day! Work the extra 15 minutes and finish.
We're almost done. Oh, see, because then you guys won't have your Saturday afternoons. Yeah, we'll have to do that. Right, just stretch it out.
Got to go to Mikey's again, Caleb. I'm sorry. I really got to get to work. I got to go to Mikey's.
We're almost done. Probably another month. Maybe, maybe. He's got warbears and Neanderthals on standby, so.
Oh, trying to free cigars, so. Yeah. She's working at her shop anyway, so he'd just be sitting home by himself. Exactly.
Makes sense. That works out well. Might need to get him a Universal pass when we go on the weekends. Alright, we're done with the floor, so you're just gonna have to come with us to Universal.
It'd be terrible. Send pictures to Kayla. How those new clothes fit, honey? I'm at Universal.
Oh, it looks like, oh, you're working hard? Okay, cool. Well, I just went on Hulk. Alright, you ready to get started here?
Yeah, let's get this going. Doot, doot, doot, what, news? Yeah, I gotta go to, oh! What?
Unless you got something else. I got an update with the David Garofalo, I think it's David Garofalo, does David G. own, I think he owns United. Part of it, we understand he's an investor.
Okay, so I understand it now a little bit better. Oh, okay, more information? Yes. For Mr.
Ben Roland? No, no, this is not for Mr. Ben Roland, this is from a reliable source. No, no, for him, because he was the one having the debate with you.
Yes, so, um. What the hell said Naki? Oh my god. So I have, you know, from a reliable source.
Yes. Dave G from Two Guys owns United and has major bad blood with Pete Johnson for a long time now. Yes, that is what we already know. Long story, but they basically hate each other.
Oh. And that's, I didn't fully understand that. I didn't grasp that. Right.
Well, that's what Mr. Rollin said. Yeah, but like. And you said they should just put those differences aside.
Yeah, let's be friends. Let's all be friends. I love you, you love me, cats and dogs, and yes, this man has no dick. And apparently, but David G like holds.
Oh, he seems to kind of got to hold the grudge. He's notorious for holding the grudge. Yes. I'm taking this with me.
Right. Fucking hate you. I wonder if we can get him to hate us. I'm pretty sure he does.
You think so? Yeah. Probably. We're number one show on Podbean.
Yeah. He's number two. Yeah, you're right. He probably hates us.
Probably hates us. So anyway, that was the update. Just they don't like each other. Yeah, that like Mr.
Rowland already told us that. I didn't understand that. Oh. So what's your advice now, Michael?
I stand by it. Stand by? Yeah, let some shit go, man. You just gotta let it go, be friends, firecrackers, everybody's got firecrackers.
Let's be friends. Let's be friends. Let's be friends. Let's be friends.
So yeah, I just wanna, I wanted to run that by you before we got into the news. Oh, thanks. Mm-hmm. So you ready then?
Wait, wait, wait. No, I'm not ready. I'm not ready. Okay.
I'm sorry. I stopped it. Okay. Now I'm ready.
Now you're ready. Very loud. Very loud. Someone's going to have a heart attack in their car.
Cigars are podcast news. Bambacho names Indiana Ortez new general manager. Uh oh. Not Indiana Jones.
Indiana Ortez. A. has a new general manager, Indiana, it's a she, Indiana's a woman, does she have a whip, Indiana, maybe, she's the daughter of Omar Ortez, confirmed the news to Half Wheel on Wednesday, she becomes a rising star, let me know when you're finished, I'm finished, confirmed the news to Half Wheel on Wednesday, she becomes a rising star in the cigar industry, garnering attention for her work with her father and several projects for Ventura Cigar Company. Namely, the Psycho 7 Nicaragua.
Those cigars were produced at, uh, some really weird name I can say, Agro-Industrial Nicaraguanese Dea, something, I don't know. "Being the first Nicaraguan female general manager for a cigar company like Mambacho challenges me twice as much as I feel the responsibility to carry the high legacy of women in their industry," Cortez said via a press release. This position allows me to keep my personal promise of working with well-fermented tobaccos and continuing to push quality and consistency to an uncompromising place. Moving to an exciting colonial town of Granada, Nicaragua is also an exciting part of the role.
Macho feels like a spaceship that is ready for takeoff. Oh, I'm looking through her Instagram. She's got a Roma Crusher on. Oh, yeah, look at that.
Are you friends with her on Instagram? Uh, let me see here. You should follow her now. I will follow her for you.
It is the most recent in a series of changes for the Granada-based cigar company, which recently saw Claudio Segroy, its president and Master Blender, announced its departure from the company. As part of that transition, Cameron Cam, as everybody calls him, heaps a co-founder of Mabacho Cigars, returned to the company in a formalized role as its president. The changes also come as the company celebrates its 15th anniversary this year. It's both an honor and a pleasure to have Indiana Jones joining the senior management team of a Macho, says heaps in a press release.
While Indiana's impressive and broad experience and a welcome asset, her passion, spirit, and management style will be an important part of the company's cultural vision. I feel I'm really saying that name wrong. You probably are. But it's I-N-D-I-A-N-A, Indiana.
Indiana. But I'm sure in that country, it is pronounced, sounds beautiful probably. This is Flora. Indiana.
Indiana. Indiana. Maybe it's Adriana. You know, I feel like I'm getting old in this industry because the Omar Ortiz's cigars, like back in the day, we used to sell a fucking ton of those things.
They're like a… Well, maybe now you will sell the Indiana Jones ones. Yes. Indiana Ortiz. Does it come with the boulder?
No. Well, if I take the stone... Yeah, I pulled it because I was going to do Indiana Jones jokes, I found out it was a woman. And then you're like, ah, forget it.
It's actually a good article, I'm glad that you said, because, you know, it's something that we've kind of been following, because Claudio... Yes, Claudio left last week. Yeah, he left, or two weeks ago. Two weeks ago.
And it's kind of interesting to see how that develops. I can't confirm or deny if he got shit-canned or if he quit on his own, or whatever the case may be. Was asked to resign before he got shit-canned? Maybe he said, you know, maybe you should step down.
step down. Who knows? Maybe it is time for you to go. I must need, you must go.
You must go. So, who knows? No habla en el casa. No speak in the house?
House, yes. Alec Bradley is moving to 24-count boxes. I don't know what they're going to do because they just burned down their fucking barns. That's the next thing.
Oh, okay. In July, Alec Bradley will offer all of its regular production lines boxes of 24 move. The company says we'll save it from increasing prices This is in 2021. As it were, we put more cigars in the box, but now we have to increase the price.
The company said that it found the 24-count boxes of Kingzitsu and Project 40 Maduro, two New Orleanses, produce better sales than the comparable Alec Bradley products in the 20-count boxes. Adding four more cigars. We add the board and we make more money. 8% better.
7%. See, here's the problem with this. Here's the problem with this. By selling cigars, let me just, there's only one more.
Go ahead, go ahead. By selling cigars in 24-count boxes instead of 20-count boxes, the company says that it will save enough money that it won't have to increase prices in 2021. Guess what? This just in.
This just in. The barns burned out. Fire in Honduras, Detroit Sally Bradley Tobago! So wait, before you get into this.
Yes, okay. First of all, I think it's hard to use that comparison. 8, like the, the data, everything has to be the same, right? So like they all have to be released at the same time.
They all have to be brand new. And then like, and then you could use an ultimate comparison. Yes. But, but the control group is skewed.
Right. But I'm saying that you can't, you can't necessarily do that with the, And if that thing dropped, like, pandemic, when fucking, I mean, you could have rolled up paper towels and sold them as cigars. Right, still would have sold. You know, yeah.
I had one, I didn't like it. We just realized that the paper towels sold, and, you know, like... Right, 145% more. So we're gonna put them in box counts of 25.
You know, like, so it's just not fair to use that data, in my personal opinion. It just seems kind of skewed. But I guess none of that really matters now, because I'm assuming that that press release happened before the fire? Yes, it did, actually.
In a follow-up story, a fire in Honduras destroys Alec Bradley Tobacco. Several tobacco curing barns and greenhouses also lost in a blaze fire on Thursday destroyed several curing barns and greenhouses in Jamastran, Honduras, on a farm called La Mujica. La musica. The property was growing tobacco that would have become Alec Bradley cigars and its barns were filled with tobacco meant for future production.
So now we have all these boxes that have four more slots that we can't fill either. I wanna know who started the fire. Three out of the farms, four curing barns burned down, yeah, three of the four burned? Well, I mean, so like...
Said Alan Rubin, owner of Alec Bradley. Okay, so like they set fires inside of these barns sometimes to help draw out humidity. So the question is maybe somebody fucking... Got a little carrot away.
Maybe Earl fucked up. He's all fucked up. Earl. Mm.
See, three of the four farms burned down the place. Put that newspaper away. He said the barns were not and could not be insured. It's Honduras, bro.
Yeah. I'm not surprised. The fire also destroyed multiple greenhouses, structures that protect tobacco seedlings when they are in the infancy. The farm is owned and operated by Hugo Edemano and financed by Ruben, Ruben said.
Edomano runs Fabrica de Tobacco, Racis, Cubanos, SR, Blup, Blup, Blup, Blup. Races. In a factory in Honduras with Mayo, Bradley, and other cigars in vain. Okay.
Despite the dramatic look of the damage, Rubens said the short term there would be no effect. No effect. The tobacco was for the 2025-26 production. Uh-huh.
So it was still aging. So then we have time. But in three years, we'll have no cigars. But we will adapt by then.
Oh, we also didn't announce the winner. Are we doing the winner afterwards? We're doing it at the end. We're going to do it again?
We're fine on tobacco, and we'll plant more next season to recover. We'll have one barn rebuilt in three weeks. I don't imagine it takes long to slap them barns up. m.
Ruben said the cause of the fire appeared to be electrical. Electrical? Wait a second. What electricity is in that barn?
Fans? Electrical. That's interesting. Did my cell phone burst into flames?
Seems a little fishy. There's no insurance. Anyway, they, you know, there's no- There's no advantage. Yeah.
So there's nothing fishy about it. Well, maybe it was somebody who doesn't like, ah, Mr. Rubin. Maybe.
Indiana. I don't think so. No, I don't think so. That's a totally different country.
She's a very nice lady. Yeah. Well, maybe she's in the peoples. I mean, we know nothing about her.
We know nothing about her at all. Maybe her whip. Don't know. Oh, man.
I'm sure that she's had a lot of jokes for that in her entire life. Nah. You don't think so? " What do they say?
Well, I'm Hiroshi Robaina. I'm from Cuba. Cuba, I live. No, they didn't say that.
I love his voice. I just love his voice. I'm Hiroshi Robaina. I am Zorro I am Zorro I am from Cuba I am from Cuba I don't even know what I was talking about now that you fucking hit the button Indiana people making fun of her name so people would always fucking break my balls by my last name how long it took you to learn that name I'm like okay haven't heard that before thank you what if they do the line from the movie we name the dog Indiana I don't know.
What movie is that from? Raiders of the Lost Ark. Oh. Not Raiders of the Lost Ark, but Indiana Jones when Sean Connery was his father.
Oh. You don't even know what it's called? Well, his dad calls him Junior, and then he... Junior!
Junior! Junior. Just dad, it's Indiana. We named the dog Indiana.
I named the dog Indiana, Junior. Alright, we gotta take a break. Yep, make like, like, and subscribe. Like and subscribe on our YouTube.
So we're going to do another giveaway today. Oh, more! Yeah, and we got announced the winner from last week. At the end.
At the end. All right, we'll be right back. Let's take a break. Hey, it's Mike Tu.
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God, you're loud! Episode 169 of the Cigar Hustler Podcast. Why'd you turn it up so much? I didn't touch a thing!
It's so loud. I didn't touch anything. Something is loud. It's not loud.
Turn that down. There's nothing to turn down. We're fine. All right.
Jeez. I like the shirt you're wearing. Yes, this is a part of the new Spring Cigar Hustler. The new Spring Collection.
Cigar Hustler Spring Collection now. Yes, indeed it is. You know, I missed kind of some parts of the pandemic. What do you miss?
You know, it is fun to now Facebook, you know, The memories, and you look back at what you're doing a year ago, and yeah, there was certain things going on. Socially distanced, drinking, just driving to and from work, and there was nothing on the road. It felt like, you know, like zombie apocalypse, but it was so peaceful. There was like three other cars on the road, and now I can fucking barely get here.
Somebody I know went to WrestleMania, I mean, it was... Is that in Tampa this year? I don't know, they just went it this past weekend. Yeah, it was on Sunday.
I think it was, it might have been, it was some open-air stadium. But, I mean, they were asses and elbows. They were rammed in there. Of course.
Florida. Let's see, Crown Heads teases Las Calaveras 2021. Turn my headphones down. This year's Las Calaveras release.
This year's Las Calaveras release will feature some notable changes for, I think, your number two. I got it. I got it. That is your microphone.
Yes. Speak now. Hello. That feels better.
Last week, Crownheads posted a picture of the Four Batolas of Las Calaveras, Edición Limitada, 2020. They did? What happened? Greg sent us a message.
No one cares. Crownheads posted a picture of the Four Batolas of Las Calaveras, Edición Limitada, 2021. It shows four cigars, no bellicoso, and one with a pigtail. This would mark the first time, and since 2018, there would be a torpedo size made, and the first time in the line's history That a cigar will have a pigtail cap.
John Huber, co-founder of Crown Edge, declined to disclose further details about the release to Half Wheel, or to us. Nice. Las Calaveras is an annual limited edition for the company that typically ships in late spring. It debuted in 2014.
Three sizes in 2016. There have been four sizes. Three are sold in 24-count boxes, while Ford's available in a sampler that contains one of each of the four sizes. The wine has been made at my father's cigars, but the blend in sizes vary from year to year.
The name comes from Las Calaveras, Katrina, a zinc etched by Jose Guadalupe Posada, Crownhead Jesus is released to pay tribute to those close to the company's personnel who have lost their lives. Are we getting those? I'm sure we will. I gotta call Wes.
Oh, he likes us. Yeah, we have our moments with him. I haven't spoken to Miguel. Like, I text him last year for his birthday, it was his birthday this weekend, Miguel Chadell.
Oh, Miguel Chadell, yeah. " Oh. I wished you a happy birthday last year, and no happy birthday from him for me. Oh.
Nothing. Nothing, nada. " I feel like you didn't care about my conversation, you were just ready to move on. I have no idea who any of those people are.
You know who Miguel is? I recognize the name, but I couldn't tell you who he was. You're the worst. Sorry.
Maconudo Inspirado line will be getting an extension with a rather unique wrapper, Connecticut Shade Tobacco, grown in Brazil. Next week, General Cigar Company expected to announce the Maconudo Inspirado Brazilian Shade, a new limited edition line. And according to postings from retailers, we use a Connecticut Shade wrapper grown in Bahia, Brazil, Over a Mexican San Andreas binder and four filler tobaccos: Brazilian Maravina, Cubita Grown in Mao, Dominican Republic, Piloto Cubana from the Dominican Republic, and tobacco from Jalapa, Nicaragua. See that?
See how that works? See? You don't care about my story, I don't care about your story. Oh, do you care that Florida sues Biden administration over cruise restrictions?
I do care. Now tell me. All right. From Tallahassee.
Florida, Florida on Thursday filed a federal lawsuit to force the Biden administration to scrap regulations that are blocking the cruise industry from assuming operations. Damn it! Yes. We need the cruise people to get back into business.
I mean, that's pretty funny. " Governor Ron DeSantis announced the lawsuit in Miami. He's suing them himself. Good for Ron.
Attaboy. We were going to have a call from Ron today, but we pushed him back down next week. Oh. Where he sharply criticized...
He had to reschedule. He had to reschedule Ron, yes. Yes, where he sharply criticized federal authorities because they have mothballed cruise ships for the past year due to the COVID-19 pandemic. It's not reasonable.
It's not rational, DeSantis said. We don't believe the federal government has a right to mothballed industry for over a year based on very little evidence and very little data. It's true. The lawsuit filed against Health and Human Service Secretary Xavier Becara and Centers for Disease Control Prevention Disease Director Rochelle Walensky, marks the ongoing escalation between the Biden administration and Republican offices in Florida.
A few weeks ago, Florida Attorney General Ashley Moody, she's very moody, filed the lawsuit challenging the Biden administration over immigration policy. You know what? We're just going to secede from the union down here. That's it.
We're done. I don't think that's the right thing. That's not the right approach. We're gonna secede.
Let's see, DeSantis, a potential Republican contender for president. We got to save the other 48 states. 2024, make America Florida. And I say 48 because, you know, Texas is kind of on their own, too.
That's right. Has been a constant critic of COVID-19 lockdowns and has steadily refused to enact a mask mandate for Florida, even though the GOP governors approved them. They don't care what they said. Yeah, we don't.
Oh, the CDC first imposed restrictions on the cruise industry During the start of the pandemic, citing numerous ships whose passengers and crew became infected with the coronavirus. Oh, there's a show on HBO Max called The Last Cruise, which is supposedly a bunch of people trapped on a cruise ship. It's very depressing, I don't want to watch it. Is there a zombie?
No, no, it's not. It's a documentary. Oh. Not real zombies.
Like it really happened? Yes. It was their last cruise? Yeah, people are, there were people trapped on cruise ships when the pandemic started.
Oh. Because nobody would let them come in. But they got off eventually, right? I don't know if they all did or not.
Ooh. I know there's staff stuck on a cruise ships, different places. Mmm. See, at the White House on Thursday, Press Secretary Jean Paskey didn't comment on the lawsuit, but she said the CDC's guidance on cruises is based on data, mechanical, medical, mechanical, medical information.
Medical, mechanical. S. S. ports after it canceled all cruises through June 30th.
Yeah. What? Yeah. They can't leave.
We're going to go somewhere else. DeSantis chose to announce a lawsuit in Miami because he said the area's unemployment rate was higher than the rest of the state because of the continued shuttering of the cruise industry. They're being unfairly shuttered. They are being unfairly shuttered.
It's time to let these ships sail. It's time to let these people get back to work. Yeah. At this point in the game, you understand the risks?
Well, the regulations as I understand it for cruise ships is you have to have a test to get on. Okay. Yeah, you take your temperature when you get on. While on the ship, you must wear your mask if you are not eating.
All that sounds fine. I mean, like, I can go to... No? That's the problem.
That's the thing that they don't want. What? Okay, you get the test. Yeah.
I don't have it. They let me on the cruise ship. Everybody else on the cruise ship didn't have it either. Right.
So then we're not gonna wear the mask. I agree with that, too. That's fine. That's what, I think the mask part's what they're...
You lost me at mask. You lost me at mask. I gotcha. But who's gonna regulate that?
You're overseas, who cares? Or whatever, you're in the water. Maybe they're gonna put mask cops on the thing. It's kinda like...
International waters, who cares at that point? You know what I mean? You can gamble, you can drink. We can make these rules.
They're gonna be there. You know, hey, masks are mandatory, but no one enforces it. You know what, as soon as we get out of port, everybody take the mask off, you're fine. You know what?
If you wanna wear it, you wear it. If you don't, you don't. It's okay. Hey, you don't tell on me, I don't tell on you.
We're so good here on a boat. You tested negative, I tested negative, we're good. We're good, it's fine, don't wear a mask. You know what I'm saying?
I don't know what you're saying, you understand what I'm talking about. Okay, yeah, no problem, yes, yes, no problem, we will follow your guidelines. No problem, we'll follow everything you want us to do. You have to watch a YouTube video for this one, but we will follow your guidelines.
Everything you want us to do, we're on a hundred percent, yes. Yeah. Now get on the boat and shut the fuck up. Problem is, people get off, they start Instagramming, and YouTubing, and TikToking.
Who cares? We'd like to talk to you about Mr. Smith from Kansas, did not have his mask in. Mike, what are they going to do, fuck with their pots and pans?
They might fuck with their boats. We're going to take away your boats. They can't take your boats, but you cannot dock here in America. No docking.
No, DeSantis will tell you, no, you docking. No docking, no docking. You come dock. Well, yeah, but Biden go, battleship shoot.
It's called State versus Federal. But Federal has the Navy. In the Navy. No, they're not supposed to.
We don't even have the Coast Guard. You can't attack fucking cruise ships. You can, if you wanted to. You know, the Queen of England has the ability to take the cruise ships that are registered in England and make them part of her Navy in an emergency?
I believe that. She's done it once when she had to get people off her grenade. Really? Yep.
We will take you to cruise ships. I am taking, I am taking the cruise ship and sending it to Grenada. I need your cruise ships. I need your cruise ship, Captain.
Oh, wrong country. Whoa, whoa, whoa, I got weird. Geez Louise. There we go.
All right, Michael. We have a Florida story still, and we have a very good Chinese story. You better edit that out. I mean, golly.
Florida Man Arrested for Masturbating with a Pickle on Private Property. With a Pickle? A Pickle! Oh my God.
Private Property? Someone else's place? Yes. One Florida man found himself in a pickle.
Quite the pickle. Well, I think he found the pickle in him. Well, actually, he was arrested for masturbating on private property, which includes inserting a pickle. Wow.
Erik Dietrich, 47 of Tampa, was charged Sunday with exposure of sexual organs for the unadvertising display, According to the rest affidavit obtained by the outlet. I love some of these newspapers, how they try to do the puns with all the different words. You're quite the pickle. The arresting officer was at the time responding to reports of a suspicious person.
Oh. Hello officer, there's a man with a pickle in his ass over here. I feel like emergency rooms wouldn't be successful if people didn't shove shit up their asses. He ultimately found Dietrich on private premises, lying flat on his back, no pants or undergarments on his bottom.
I guess, I don't know why, where else would he have the pants? Yeah. According to the document, according to the affidavit, he had his penis in one hand and a large, uneaten pickle in the other hand, and was using the pickle to penetrate his rectum while he was masturbating. He goes through Publix, he's like, hmm, that's not big enough.
Ooh, that's too big. They sell them big pickles for the singles. I just need the one. Just need the one.
Sir, you cannot buy one pickle from the jar, but this one's perfect, it's a nice size. This is the adequate circumference that I need. Perfect size here, that's right. This and this bottle of fucking mayonnaise.
Aren't they that strong, I mean? This pickle is very bumpy. Rib for the sploosh. What is going on here?
Maybe you should have just contacted this next story. Gotta love Florida. Chinese authorities seized over 7,200 human penises on a cargo ship from Nigeria. Oh my God.
From what? From Nigeria. Nigerian penises? Big ones.
Just sold. Wait a second. Hold on. Wait.
Wait a second. Just penises. Hold on. Follow the story here.
On March 19th, 2021, the Chinese customs officers made the world's biggest seizure of human organs in history this morning for a total of 7,221 peni of African origin. Oh my God. Hidden in a refrigerated freight container. Sorry, I had to jump to the next slide.
Acting on information from an anonymous informer. Hello. Hello. Hello.
I need to make a phone call, please. We're coming in. We're coming in the port with a lot of peanut in the Coca-Cola. Oh my gosh, so many peanut.
So many peanut. There are 7,000,000,000 peanut. Oh man, we're going to get careful. Chinese officers found the organs in 36 boxes labeled as plantains.
These aren't plantains. These aren't plantains. Inside a refrigerated container in a ship harbored in the Shanghai part. It's got to take a long time to collect that many cocks.
And think about all the different people who don't have them. Yeah. Chinese General Administration of Customs Spokesman, Li Wu, says an increasing large number of armed groups in Africa use organ trafficking to finance themselves, making such seizures predictable. Send them the dicks.
How many dicks we have? 7k? All right, send them. Jesus.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What are we doing here? They got 7,221 men that had their dicks cut off.
" I feel like we're kind of crossing a line here. I don't know. Let me just shoot that out there. We're terrorists.
We can do what we want. Where can we get a lot of money? We need the money. You know what?
I hear dicks are very hot right now. We should start chopping some dicks. We'll be fine. All right.
Go outside. Line them up. Oh, my God. No, you're too small.
We don't need you. You live. You live. You move on now.
I feel like they had to at least do dead bodies or something. 7,000. That's a lot of dicks. Human penises were seized in nine cases since 2002, so it's a big business.
But today's fine represents more than four times the amount seized by custom officers over the past 18 years. That's going to mentally affect somebody. This is the biggest dick seizure in history. Like, you know, somebody dies and they're like, oh, well, there's dicks missing now.
Well, why would you even check? I feel like somebody... How long does it take to get 7,000 dicks together? That's what I'm saying.
It's been accumulated over time. There's been a lot of dicks. The Chinese General Administrator of Customs says... Why does China need the dicks?
I don't know what they do. From Nigeria. Yeah, will they make soup out of them or something? I mean, I've heard of, like, you know, animal things and stuff, but...
Human dick? You know, soup dick? Bat soup and stuff, you know? Human soup dick.
Bird nest soup and stuff. Oh, my God. I can't. Shark fin soup?
It feels like another pandemic. I don't know. The Chinese general administration says similar seizures may become more common over the next few years as armed groups in Africa turn to organ trafficking to finance their military operation. Oh, my God.
Describing the organs... Oh, get this. Describing the organ's value as high as illegal drugs, said that specimens of this size, African, usually fetch around $160,000 each on the black market. 160 per?
Who's paying that? 15 billion. I'm very confused. Somebody's very upset that they lost all those dicks.
Somebody, yeah, somebody's gonna be mad. " No! They've taken the dicks. What do you mean they've taken the dicks?
It no longer took to get 7,000 dicks together. The ship's crew, four Nigerians, two Malaysians, and two Cameroonese are being detained for interrogation. But no charges. We know that that went in there.
We have no idea. We just moved the dicks. We just moved the dick. Look, I have mine.
It's still here. I have the same ones right there. Oh, 150,000 a dick. 160,000 a dick.
There's a market that was over 7k that can be moved? They can be moved? I mean, I don't know. How do you liquidate 7,000 dicks?
Do you have to receive payment before they ship? I mean, to get intercepted? Is there shrinkage or cold? This is not good.
It's a lot of questions. This could be war. A lot of questions. Oh, a war is going to break it over the dicks.
The war of the dicks. The great dick war in 2021. The great dick war of 2021. Now there's going to be a shortage.
A significant shortage. They have a shortage of Nigerian Dixon-John at the moment. Severe. I couldn't top that story, that's all I got.
Oh, we got to pick a winner! We got to pick a winner. org, I'm just going to pick a number, I've never seen that paper before. Never seen this paper before, I wrote down we had 12 commenters, commentees, commentos.
They're going to win a $25 gift card. Not all of them. No, just one. One winner.
We'll get a $25 gift card to Cigar Hustlers. So one gentleman, I only have his YouTube name. I hope I picked that one. But everybody else, I have actual names.
Okay. And one guy uses his wife's, but he said his name, so I will not say his wife's name. Okay. So, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve.
Yes, twelve. Twelve. Pick a number, Michael, between one through twelve. Now, if you want to win next time, all you have to do is look.
Are you going to give a certificate again? Yeah, we'll do another give a certificate. Oh, look to YouTube. 100 views last week.
I mean, the week prior. Yeah, it's going up. Yes. It's working.
It's working, and I'm willing to stick with it for another $25 gift card. Another $25 gift card. What we're going to do, all you have to do is subscribe, like, and comment on episode 169 of the YouTube Cigar Hustlers podcast. We use that board all the time.
It's a great board, greatest board ever. All you have to do is just like, subscribe, comment. If you've already subscribed, just like and comment. Second comment.
Pick a number for God's sakes. I pick number three. Number three! Please tell me that it's the one that doesn't have any information.
No. You have to find out. The lucky winner is... Yes?
Hold on. I have a right screen now. Yeah. You ready?
Mm-hmm. The winner is Mr. Stephen Wells! Oh!
Mr. Stephen Wells, you're the winner of a $25 gift card. That's excellent. They will email you the information, sir, and you can purchase stuff.
He didn't purchase that and give us more cigars. Yeah. No, yeah, I did that. Give us more cigars.
That is the winner. That one was like the first ones he gave us. I was like, ah, I'm like, where are you finding that? April 17th, we will be at over executive for the Voyage release party.
We will. We will go and see Danny. We're going to go see Danny, give our best to Danny. May 1st, where are we going to be on May 1st?
May 1st, we're going to be at S&M Smoke Shop. And then on April 30th, here at the shop, we're having the Roma Craft Axe Throwing Event I went with Mike Rosales, where you could win a $200 gift card, Greg just said. $200 gift card. So, uh, we got that going on.
Anywhere else you gonna be, Mike? Yeah, May 20th, I'm going to be doing a Zoom with the Texas Ruffians, as well. Write that down. 20th.
Mm-hmm. Okay. Mm-hmm. With the Ruffians.
But you have to be a Ruffian to get in on that. Is that how that works? I'm guessing. " Oh, sure.
I don't know. I'll sit on my patio anyway. I'm like, no problem. Saturday afternoon, you and Drew can be on the zone.
Yeah. Oh, what are we doing? We're working on quarter round. We're installing floors.
Still, in May. I don't appreciate you being so... Nursed-y. Nursed?
What? Nursed-y. Nursed-y. It's like nasty, but you're nursed-y.
Oh. All right. This has been episode 169. One, six, nine.
Cigar Hustler Podcast. Thank you, everybody, for listening. Thank you. And we have to do things.
We have a Patreon coming up. Yes, that. We're going to smoke a firecracker. We're going to analyze it.
And take it all apart. Yes. Okay, bye. All right, we gotta go.
Goodbye. The Cigar Hustlers Podcast, its owners and its sponsors take no responsibility for the opinions or statements made by the talk show host or their guest. Statements or show topics are not necessarily the beliefs of Mike and Mike Productions, Mike Productions, or the podcast providers, and opinions between talk show hosts may differ. It is not our intention to libel, incite, or hurt anyone's feelings.
We invite you to write the show's host, Mike Szczepankewicz, with any feedback or suggestions that you have for their shows. These broadcasts are presented and made public as entertainment in the hope that they will be entertaining to the audience. This has been a Cigar Hustlers Podcast, a Mike and Mike production. m.
for all new episodes. Hi, I'm doing, I'm Husto-E-Raw. Yeah, we just don't have to do a single podcast ever again. Perfect.
I'm good, Mike and Mike. How are you guys doing? The Hojo, the Hojo! It's the Hojo!
He didn't even let him fuck it up all the way. I could get past Hojo! I don't even have to try to hit the record. He's not even going to try.
We're going to cover a lot of ground here, Mike. All right. Try to keep up. That's a sign of a good podcast.
It'd be like four cigars when I walked in a door. All right, end this.
Show Notes
We catch up this week with Mikey and Mike too after his illness! Here about all the events coming up! and Mikey Finally Understands! Plus industry news!