175 Alligators are getting some but post covid males may not be? BDP heats up Tampa
Episode Summary
Episode 175 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast finds Mike "BDP" Palmer and Mike Szczevankewicz (with Michael "Stefan Gavich" back from a rough week with a household stomach bug) recapping a Tampa cigar weekend. The centerpiece is a walkthrough of the J.C. Newman Cigar Company's historic El Reloj factory — a Saturday open-house with breakfast, a first-floor museum, second-floor packaging and smoking lounge, and third-floor machine production — hosted by brothers Bobby and Warren Newman, who let attendees roam the entire building. The guys note the factory even books weddings, which sparks a running bit about a vow-renewal ceremony officiated by a Newman or John Oliva.
From there the crew headed to a tented event at Cathedral Cigar Lounge, where the hosts ran into a who's-who of the industry: Rocky Patel and Mike Wasp, Pete Johnson, La Flor Dominicana's Leo, John Kearney, Adrian Acosta, Rosa Romano, John Oliva, and Carlito Fuente later in the night. They talk about the premium pricing on rare sticks at that kind of retailer, the sampler that came with the ticket, and the hotel-and-liquor-store wind-down afterward.
The middle of the show is an unboxing of the second RoMa Craft "Weasel" package — Weaselitos in Connecticut Broadleaf, Ecuador Habano, Ecuador Lajero, San Andrés and African Cameroon wrappers, a Collective Sovereign Whiskey Rebellion 5x50 robusto, Lance's mustard, Zilker Brewing gear, Valentina's brisket rubs, soap, stickers and posters. Mike also unveils a plaque marking 50,000 Podbean downloads and plugs the Patreon secret show, where they'll smoke the Maximum double belicoso.
News segment: the Limited Cigar Association (Privada Cigar Club) adds distribution in Norway via Nordic Cigars; New Hampshire's HB 171 now lets cigar bars serve — but not sell — food; and Black Label Trading Company announces Bishop's Blend 2021 in Corona Larga, Robusto and Lancero. The episode closes with a widely discussed study linking COVID-19 to erectile dysfunction, plus a Florida story on alligator mating season in Lakewood Ranch, and the weekly listener contest.
In This Episode
- 01J.C. Newman Factory Tour in TampaA full walkthrough of the El Reloj factory with Bobby and Warren Newman, from the ground-floor museum to third-floor machine production — and the fact that you can hold a wedding there.
- 02Cathedral Cigar Lounge Event RecapA tented parking-lot event with barbecue, samplers and appearances by Rocky Patel, Pete Johnson, Carlito Fuente, John Oliva and more.
- 03RoMa Craft Weasel Box UnboxingPackage two of the Weasel shipment yields Weaselitos in five wrappers, a Collective Sovereign Whiskey Rebellion robusto, mustard, rubs, soap, stickers and posters.
- 0450,000 Downloads and Podcast MilestonesThe guys receive a Podbean plaque for 50,000 downloads, sort out last week's Spotify feed delay and mark year four of the show.
- 05Industry News: LCA Expands to NorwayLimited Cigar Association partners with Nordic Cigars to bring small-batch releases to Norwegian retailers alongside brands like Padrón, Warped and Dunbarton.
- 06New Hampshire Cigar Bar Food LawHB 171 changes a single word of state law so cigar bars may serve food, just not sell it.
- 07Black Label Trading Company Bishop's Blend 2021The sixth annual Bishop's Blend returns in Corona Larga, Robusto and Lancero, limited to 600 boxes each for the first two.
- 08COVID, Alligators and the Weekly ContestA study on COVID-linked erectile dysfunction, Florida alligator mating season, and the drawing of this week's listener winner.
Brands & Cigars Discussed
Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.
Transcript
I'm trying not to red screen these poor people at the end of the show again. We're gonna go off at 28, just so you know. We're not going to 29. Okay.
I feel like Chet fucks with my headphones. Probably. Yeah. Welcome to episode 175 of a Cigar Hustler Podcast.
Yeah. With Michael. I have to go poop poop Stefan Gavich. Regular.
And BDP. Oh. Man, I really feel like I got shafted on the nicknames. Oh, man.
I have to go poop poop. I don't have to go poop poop. Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike. Square, Mike, Square.
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Now, they have come out with a new one, which they are supposedly going to send us to do as a giveaway. Very similar to this, except it is this really cool olive military look with a matte finish. And then the bottom drawer, when you pull it out, they have a place where the lighter and cutter fit. I think it comes with one like this one did, that chromie set thing, I think this one came with.
We have to give it away? That's what they want us to do. Oh, okay, okay. Shh.
Congratulations. Congratulations! You won! You won this one.
Because the other one would fit better, actually. We'd go better with our whole... Our motif. Yeah.
Oh, our motif. With our red, white, and blue, see? Red, white, and blue. Oh, they're red, white, and blue.
America, even though it's all Polish. Polish-American, well, maybe we'll put a P on it. We're Polish-Americans. Polish-Americans.
Polish-Hulk. Polish-Hulk. We gotta win with that. Not Polish-Hulk this week, buddy.
Not Polish-Hulk this week. The Spotify problem we had last week has corrected itself, as I thought it would. Yes. They got caught up, so now episode 174 is available as of this morning, at least, 'cause I double-checked.
So on behalf of Spotify, we apologize. We apologize. There are some things that are out of our control. I feed the show to Podbean, and Podbean goes, everybody take it.
And then sometimes people have problems, I'm guessing, but we apologize, it is there, but if it's ever not there, just about hard not to find our show at this point. Yeah. People tell me they listen on things that I've never even heard of before. That's nice.
I like that. But that also means we can't really track exact number of listeners too, which is a pain. But it's a lot. It is a lot, but as these other little smaller ones are growing, Yeah.
The numbers on Podbean drop a little now and then, but still, I mean, from the people I run into when I'm out, there's people listening all over the place. You know, the ride to the top isn't straight up, man. No, no, no. What I'm saying, just because Podbean is down doesn't mean the show's down.
It could be up somewhere else. We're definitely not down. We're not, no. No, not by any means.
A lot of people say stuff that I don't remember the shit that I said. Right, yeah. I said, oh man. So, um, you know, I know that, uh, do you want to get into your Grand Cathedral?
Cause I know that you're a big deal. Wait, we can, well, you know. Or do you want to wait? No, no, I have it to do before the show, so.
You have it before the show? Yeah. Okay, let's talk about, I mean, I died for a whole week, so what's the. Oh, yeah, Dre, you weren't here for the whole week.
Like, what's to really talk about? I missed you. Yeah, yeah, I tried to, I tried to do like a staycation at home and then failed miserably with the stomach bug. Oh.
So, yeah. I tried not to bother you some days, but there was always something that would come. Yeah, it doesn't matter. And it wasn't shop related most of the time either.
Yeah, well, you're my friend, Michael. You can reach out to me anytime. Well, Greg told me not to. Don't listen to him.
What does he know? Don't ask Michael things. If we can't fix it, then we will wait till next week. Set it on fire.
If we can't fix it, which is pretty much 90% of the things, we'll just leave it alone. Right. C. Newman factory.
Yes. It was a lovely time they had this nice breakfast spread, breakfast sandwiches and coffee. Were there croissants? There were Cuban bread, but there was...
Cuban, but not croissants, not French. No, there was a croissant sandwich, I believe. Okay, bacon? Yeah, bacon, egg, or ham and egg, or...
Ham and egg? Sausage and egg, or just plain bread, or fruit, and mimosas, and Bloody Marys, and... That's nice. They really opened the entire place up to us.
They said all the doors are open, we're running a skeleton crew, because we don't normally work on Saturdays. So there is people working, you can go anywhere you want. Bobby and Warren Newman, the two brothers that are running the place, they said we will be walking around if you have questions, ask us. Other than that, you can go anywhere you want to go.
And this is the Newman factory? The Newman factory, yeah, in Tampa. Right. Did you find the hidden door?
No, I didn't. I heard there's a hidden door. I didn't look for it though, I didn't think about that. Well, there's a little museum on the first floor.
Second floor is where they do the packaging and where the room is that they had set up for us to eat and smoke in. And then obviously you can smoke through the entire building. I mean, it's a cigar factory. Right, it's true.
Right, it's true. Third floor is production where they make the cigars and they have the machines and everything. Did you go through anybody's desks or is that where they draw the line? No, well, see, it's...
I'd be curious. It's kind of funny because I felt very... What they needed to get through the day. I felt very at home because it looked like a regular Chinese factory, but way cleaner.
So there's a thing I do, and my wife kept yelling at me, but I'll sort of wander away into different little places. And Greg tells that story when he went with me. " And they even had Chinese people working on the machines, doing the machines where they were rolling the quorums, I think it was, or whatever they made. So, it even made me feel more at home.
It really did. So they don't go to the Chinese. Can someone please call me the Big Dick Palmer White Dragon or something? Right, can people just...
The BDP? Just ignore me as I walk around. Yeah. Very clean, a lot cleaner I thought it was gonna be.
What did you think? You thought it would be a fucking cesspool or some shit? No, no, no, no, but... C.
Newman, it ain't, you know... I understand that, but I'm used to, you know, factories where there's dust at least, maybe or something, you know. Go to Ask the League, you'll see plenty of dust. Well, that's true, that's true.
It's very nice. You ain't gonna see that shit here. They have seven weddings going on there in the next 12 months. In the factory?
In the building. You can use the building to have your wedding. I don't know if I'd want that. Well, next year is mine and Adrian's 10-year anniversary, and we're doing a vow renewal.
" Really? No, I should do it here, Scar House is the wedding. No, I shouldn't do it here. It's definitely here.
No, not here. Not here, no. Something nice. Whoa!
Whoa! Something nicer. Oh my, just throwing jabs. Maybe the private lounge, I'm sorry, we can do it, and I know what you should do.
No, no, no, no, I want you to do it at a nice place. So I planted, you know, a respectable place. I said, you know, what would it cost like me to have a vow renewal, you know, BDP? Yeah.
So, they're checking, they don't think it's much at all. Yeah. I read John Oliva is checking in on that for me. Oh, could he be the priest?
I was hoping maybe one of the Newmans. Oh, yeah, of course. Bobby, you're Warren. Yeah, you know.
I'll discuss it over, we're playing bridge next week, so. Bridge? Yeah, with Bobby and Warren. You guys are building one?
No, no, cards. Yeah? That's cool. Was it something like old people play or something?
Yeah, it's an old person. Yeah? I've heard about it. Oh.
Sounds intriguing. Right. Then we went to Cathedral. They had the entire parking lot tented.
Yeah? So, I mean, there was no parking. I didn't drive. They had the tent.
A giant tent. Tents everywhere. Tent, tent, tent. But it was weird because you're sitting there and then you go, you know, I think we parked here last time we were here.
This is where we parked. So this is where we parked. This is where we parked. " As you eat your Swedish meatballs or something?
It was barbecue. Oh, okay. Barbecue. Swedish meatballs are always a good way to go.
Oh. So we had drinks and there was a nice little sampler they gave away with the ticket. Yeah. And spent some money.
Very, very expensive cigars. I can buy some, yeah. But we had a lovely time. Well, you know, it's just like the Vegas place.
Right. You know, like you get the collection of everything and you just got to pay a premium. Right. I just bought stuff for us to smoke when we were there.
Other than the stuff they gave us. And we bought lunch and we had drinks. Who else did I meet there? Let's see.
Well, Mike Wasp was there. Oh, yeah. He was there. I knew him.
He arranged for my- Weren't there a lot of bigwigs there? Like a lot of other companies? Well, I'm getting- Well, that was Rocky Patel. Mike Wasp works for Rocky Patel.
All right. But we took my son Alex and his roommate Kyle, who was still like, Oh, there's Rocky Patel. Right. " So, when we had Mike introduce him to Rocky, I had, uh, Pete was there, my friend Pete, oh, I met his brother for the first time, never met his brother before.
He was here last week. Oh, was he? Yeah. Well, Pete said he never showed up.
Oh, they never came here? " He never made it. " Okay, right, and then he never came in, never showed up. Wow, that's fucked up, man.
To, what was his name? Pete Johnson. I never remember Pete's last name. He was very nice, actually.
I'd never met him before. Yeah, he was nice. Yeah, LFD Leo was there, my friend Leo, who has lost quite a bit of weight and he's been working out. Yeah?
He looked great. That's good. Yeah, newly single. If anybody liked to date my friend Leo, he's newly single.
He's looking for a young lady. Was Anthony there too? Anthony. Really tall?
LFD son? No, I don't believe it was. There was somebody there with Leo, but I didn't know who it was. Did he have a funny hat?
He was a heavier fellow, I believe. Heavier fellow. No, John Kearney, obviously. I know who he is.
I don't know. John Kearney. Let's see. Adrian Acosta was there with somebody.
He told me who he was with, but I love the guy with his accent. I have no idea who he told me he was. He said hello. Rosa Romano.
Rosa Romano. Don't be on the real. Don't be on the real. John Oliva.
I met Bobby and Warren. You got a whole list there. Oh, I wrote it all down just in case I forget. So.
Carlito showed up at night. It was from the pictures I saw, we got there, we decided to go right from the Newman factory to the cathedral, and we still had to wait in line, because we got there a little before, but it went fairly quick, and we were there for two and a half, three hours, and then decided to bed by six. Another Saturday and a six-ass old Saturday? No, because we stayed in Tampa, so we stayed at a hotel there, so the boys went out clubbing or whatever, mid-20, mid-20-year-old boys do or something at night.
We're going clubbing. We went to the liquor store, got a couple bottles of liquor. Let's go to the liquor store. Set by the pool.
We just hang out, me and you. Yeah, we smoke cigars. That's nice. Smoke cigars.
That's good. Because there's like a little parlay. Because you did your whole little cigar spiel and whatever. And then you still got to do like a couple's time.
So you got to do a little couple thing, hang out by the pool. Right. That's nice. Yeah.
That's nice. There was a club next door to the hotel that we thought about going to. But it was like an MTV BET beach party or something. That sounds amazing.
How did you not go to that? Well, first, I'm too old. And my wife wears too many clothes. Because from where we, because the hotel restaurant has it outside.
Undress a little and, you know, put on a hat. Oh, well, I had a hat because my head burns. There you go. So you look younger.
We could not have mingled. Big video screen on the side. What kind of hat? Was it one of those wavy around the head hats?
No, no, no. That day I had on my Roma Craft baseball hat. Oh, regular teepee. And it would have been fine.
Yeah. Young guy. I would have been either the cop that was there to bust the place or dirty old man, one or the other. You're probably the latter.
Dirty old man? Yeah. Yeah, probably. " I don't think she even had bottoms.
Yeah, you should've went. Right. Checked it out? Nah.
Nah, we ate, we had drinks, and then she went back to the room, I had more drinks, sat out on the little patio, and smoked some more. Very nice. We had a good time. Then we had lunch with Alex before we left, and then we came home.
Beautiful. Nice little weekend. Yeah, she's got nine days left. She has a nice little recharge.
There's all types of praise and shit on Facebook. No, no, I did good, I did good. Look at you. Very flexible with your legs all the way out.
Oh, yeah. I looked at that picture, I'm like, oh, it looks like I have no legs. That's nice. I figured she took like, you know.
Like Jean-Claude Van Damme. Right. Right. Yeah.
So, hey, that's good. So, we have the second weasel box there. Yeah. Are we going to do another?
Yeah, let's open this. I was on Bears last night. Oh, that's right. Oh, that's right!
You did a podcast last night. I did. Which was, you know, he does a pretty good job interviewing. It was a pretty good show, yeah.
A guy knows his shit. Yeah. Did I disappoint? I feel like I did.
I'm looking at your eyes. No, no, no, no, no. I feel like I disappointed. No, no, you worked my name in from the list of things, you said that, and he didn't really ask about the podcast much, though.
I mean, it came up several different times, but he did ask you a question. But I guess at this point, and by the way, it's four years, not three, so it's four. We're going into year four now. Are we?
Yeah, we're in year four. It's a long fucking time. It's a long fucking time. I don't know how we passed him.
I guess he took... We've only missed a couple. No, we have, but he said he was at 169, and we're at 175, and he started before we did. We're incredible.
Right. That's what it is. But, I mean, I was a question. So I was a question on a podcast, and the Heckle & Jekyll Show mentions me at the beginning of each one.
So that makes me like pop culture, cigar pop culture, you know what I mean? Did you want the knife? I do want the knife. knife oh uh there was something weird there in the in the parking lot of the hotel people you're getting the disease now you're getting that's okay people well it's okay you gave me corona too so you know it's only you don't get the stomach thing to hosta gave us corona well you gave it to me i didn't go to that you didn't go to tpe no no i've never been to tpe oh we should we should have went you didn't want to i asked twice i know uh but anyway uh people had painted on their cars some Some cars, there was more than one, I'm turning 21, just put that down, I'll clean that.
Sanitize that later? I'll sanitize that later. Sanitize, sanitize. I'm turning 21, buy me a drink, here is my cash app, or here is my Venmo.
Yes. That's a thing now, isn't it? Oh, yeah, it's a big deal. Oh, my birthday, I'm going to put buy me a cigar on my car with the Venmo on there and see if I get money that way.
I'm going to, I'm going to do like, you know. Just drive around all the time with that on your car. Married with three kids, here's my Venmo. Here's my Venmo, right.
Small business owner. I need cereal. Small business owner, here's my Venmo. oh all right oh look at a lovely packing paper yes that's nice so this is this is package two yes yes we did the we did the first one last week one now we got package two we did it on the show oh actually we did the uh the weasel fat yeah the the box right there with the cigar we opened that we opened that yeah i'm excited because i think i saw like additional cigars in here yes and uh i want to smoke them because it's a legit size oh is it a weird size too it is it is so you won't We don't like it, so we do it on the Patreon, you won't like it.
We have Lance's Mustard. Oh, Lance's. I hear Lance makes the best mustard. It's a big deal.
I'm scared that you know that. Let's see, we have this cup. What's it say on it? It's got a name.
It says Zilker Brewing Company. Oh, that's the beer company here. I hear they make the best beer. I'm starting to see...
See a pattern? Yeah. We've got some Rando Bourbon. I hear Rando makes the best bourbon, too.
Yeah, we don't know what it is. We don't know what it is. You should pour that in the cup. Rando is me saying random.
You should drink it now. It's got this, let's see. What is that? Is that a mask?
Garrison Brothers. Oh, it's a bandana. Or a napkin. Or a napkin.
Or a tissue. In case you spill the mustard. Or in your case, in case you have to poop. In case you have to poop.
Wipe your little bottom. Oh, little Weezolitos. Oh, Weezolitos. Oh, you got, and it's one of each.
One of each what? They're different kinds? Yeah. There's different kinds of Weezolitos now?
Yeah, well, there's always been. Connecticut Broadleafs is two Ecuador, Lajero, Habano, San Andreas, and Africa Cameroon. I only thought there was the one. With stickers.
With stickers. I love stickers. They're big on stickers. They're the best stickers, right?
They are the best stickers. Yeah. I figured, dude, I was trying to keep that going for you. Oh, yeah, I hear they have the best stickers.
Sorry. Ooh, a brisket rub. Oh, who makes that? And a red rub by Valentina's.
Oh, Valentina's. That's the best kind of rubs. This isn't enough for a brisket. It's a small, it's a smaller brisket.
It's just a sample, Michael, don't get, don't get all uppity, it's just a sample. You know, you gotta rub on both sides, you know? Well, you rub one on one side, one on the other. One's a red rub, more for poultry.
You should taste it. Right now? Just take your finger in, snort it, snort a line. These are 2011 stickers.
They were made in 2011 because they say that. I know that people believe that. Oh, what do you put that on? Stuff.
I like the color of the shirt. Shirt. So, by the way, I'm an extra large, if you'd like to add it to my red hand. This is a medium.
Oh, that's not your box, probably. Yeah, this is definitely. That's probably Alex's box. Alexander.
I will not be fitting in that. No. I just grabbed one of the boxes. That's okay.
I don't know which one it is. A Kraft... Oh, a refrigerator magnet. A refrigerator magnet, yes.
You know, I hear that's the best place to put a magnet. That's the best place. Is on the refrigerator. Let's see.
Native Texan Pilsner. Now wait a minute, that's a soap. One of the gentlemen in the Weasel page said the soap was really nice. It smells really good.
I gotta be honest, this is probably the thing I'm most excited about right now. Because this is... Well, you've got all that washing you need to do from the stomach virus. Don't eat it.
It smells amazing. I hope somebody thought it was cheese and took a bite out of it. This cheese is broken. What kind of shit?
This cheese tastes terrible. That means it's really good. I'm saving the cigars for last because... Oh, more posters.
Ooh, there's a lot of posters. 95 a set here at Cigar Nestle. 95. Let's see here.
Actually, when Rosales was here, he brought some of the posters, and people saw them, and they started grabbing them. They wanted more, so I came back here and got some of the other ones. Did you? Like, "Oh, you want one too?
" Give them to the people. The people want them. What are we going to do? Are we going to hold them?
I autographed them. I wrote Skip Martin on most of them. You did? I think that's appropriate.
They want milk. Yeah. And there's the other Cro-Mags and stuff, and probably the Wunderlust in here. I don't want to open them all up, because I'm running out of space.
Running out of space on our luxurious furniture here. A Zilker Patch. What's it? Oh, that's the best patch.
That's the best patch. Best patch of Zilker. You know what? That looks like your buddy up in Canada's show logo.
Get rid of this. What's a rebar? That looks like rebar's logo. The Zilker patch.
This is fucking rebar, whatever he says. Do you need the knife again? I do. I haven't cleaned it yet.
The Collective Sovereign... Hold on, please. Whiskey Rebellion 5x50. I wonder if it's a Perfecto.
Oh, I don't know. He's big in perfectos now. I thought it was small. I thought it was a little guy.
Let me see. You know, uh, well, I should probably tell you something I found off the air. Yeah. Don't say it on the air.
No? No, no, no, no. It might cause a mass riot. We don't want riots.
No, no. Actually, I found two things, which Craig said I can't text you. Craig said I can't text you, so... So...
You didn't text me. I did not text you. I'm in a weakened state. Very dehydrated.
You know, it's really going to mess with my whole data of my cereal gains. Oh, you're almost up with that, aren't you? This is the last week. This was the last week I was going to weigh in and I was going to, and now it's a mess.
Yeah, I'll just pick that up after the show. Yeah, it's cool. It'll be fine. Don't worry about that at all.
You better hurry because we are cutting. It's a 5x50 Robusto. We are cutting off on time today. It is a true Robusto.
Oh, look at that. Whiskey Rebellion. Oh, I'm going to smoke this now. I have something else.
something else do you hurry up we only have so much time quickly quickly hurry i'm gonna smoke this i bet you this is banging that's a dark wrapper too it's a dark uh first this week on the patreon we are doing the uh the the maximum uh double bellicose max maximum maximum maximum double bellicose so 10 we're You've been doing those if I put them in the case sell against you. You're just monkey-fucking your way through this whole goddamn industry. We got their maximum! I got their maximum score!
We have nine entries for the contest this week. Oh! Very nice! Let me put my headphones back on.
We make one comment, I just want you to know, I think everybody collected, or damn near everyone has collected on their gift certificate after that. " Oh, the word got out, huh? One we took care of in store. Yes.
And Michael Barrett. Barrett? Yeah, I told him. Okay, because Greg didn't want to bother you with that either.
I reached out to Barrett, or Barrett reached out to me, and I said, yeah, just go in and I'll make sure you square it up. Okay, well, Greg asked, and I said, yes, he wants. So when you're saying I'm not bothered, that means that I didn't have to hear about it three times, only to hear about the one? Apparently.
I guess, I don't know. That's great. What else you got? Hold on.
It looks nice. It is nice. This came when you were gone, but I've had it hidden in my bag. Now, it's a little late, I guess, because we actually reached this milestone back in October of last year, but this came when you were out sick.
Get out of here. Yep, it came when you were sick, so. Wow. Apparently, whoever they get to us from is really way behind, because it's almost a year.
Yeah, this is old, yeah. That's from October. I looked it up. That's from October.
A Cigar Housers podcast reaching 50,000 Podbean downloads. Congratulations. Turn around, show it to the camera. We'll hang that over, where have we got, maybe over here, maybe by the peak.
I don't know about all that. No, no, no, you're not. We're not going to hang that up. No, put it over there or something.
Oh, where you can't see it on the show. Yeah, I thought that was nice. That is fantastic. Yeah.
So do you want to smoke this now? Because I'm feeling this. Like I'm... Are they all the same?
Yeah. Oh, sure. I mean, you like to badmouth them on the Patreon, so we can do that. Badmouth these guys on the Patreon?
You did last time we smoked the one from the Weaselbox. Whoa, whoa, listen. People pay a premium for my opinion on the Patreon. Okay, don't just bleed it out all over the place.
Oh, sorry, all right, all right, all right. But, you know, I know you want to smoke your maximum, I don't, you know. No, no, no, we can save those, I mean, I happen to end up with two. We can smoke that, I mean, we can smoke that and do that on the Patreon, but I want to light this up now.
Oh, well, go ahead. So you want those? Well, let's just do that on the Patreon. We just did one of these.
Oh, well, then just give me one for later. All right, my hand was all over that. Yeah, I understand, so might as well just hand me the knife now, too, I just touched your hand, so, I'll be pooping later, I'm sure. The Lord says he can get me out of this one.
However you, you're fucked. Well, you know, anything you get, I get too, so it's just the way it works. And so we share it, yeah. We share everything.
How are we doing on time? We're at 25 minutes. Okay, good. 25 minutes.
Oh, I also ran in, you know, the gentleman at CI who came up to me when I was there with you and Rosales? The dudes that work there? No, no, the tall gentleman that said he was driving by. Mike Holmes, or whatever?
No, no, no, no, his name was Brian. No, I'm not my husband. Me, you, and Rosales were at CI. " He was there.
He was there. Yeah, well, he talked about being there at that time. Oh, that's right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he had the guy, I guess he's in another group, too, called Holy Smokes, which I think he mentioned that, too.
He did. Okay, so he came up to me, and he wanted to know who that was I was with again at CI. Yeah. So I told him, and then he turned to the other guy, he goes, "See, I told you, RoMa Craft was with Palmer at CI" I started laughing, and they didn't understand why, so I told you, I told you, RoMa Craft was with Palmer, I thought that was funny, this guy doesn't, these guys, they don't get it, man, they really fucked that up, man, you guys really fucked that up, I mean, you guys fucked that up, I mean, you guys fucked that up, so, I thought that was funny, uh, I used, I saw that.
I was trying to use, I wanted to use the whole soundboard. Oh, I actually wrote them all down. Oh, did you already know why buy cigars from a dick? I had why buy cigars from a dick.
I had bam, you gotta go to work. I had intrinsic apathy and man, you really fucked that up. But you know, once I got through my 10 quotes, I was fucking dying. I was dying.
I didn't, I didn't care. I mean, I only saw the first couple. I'm a professional, Michael. I'm about to say most of them, except what was that?
Oh, the 10 comments? Yeah, the words people gave you. What are the words people gave you? I did Ash Queen, I did BDP.
Oh! Oh, she did Ash Queen. I did Slam-A-Lam and Ding Dong, I did Dingleberry. Oh, wow.
I did Meow. A lot of those are just words you use in regular everyday conversations. No, Karakoraphobia or whatever. Yeah, I heard them.
I banged that one out. You know what's cool is Bear played along too and he incorporated some of it into his stuff. Right, yeah. I noticed he was doing that too.
Yeah, you know. You gotta keep it interesting. Right. Yeah.
What am I supposed to do? Yeah, you know, I love cigars. I like cigars. Yeah.
My cigars are great. They're amazing. They're, you know... All right, we got 50,000.
Can't get any more. These are from the, uh, these are from, you know, the basement. They've been aged for 75,000 years. Right.
They're absolutely amazing. They're pre-industry. I don't know. Pre-industry.
Pre-embargo and, uh, I'm gonna touch things now, so no, it doesn't matter. Yeah, you're done. I feel, I feel sick already. I felt like, you know what, you're, I was gonna blow you up today.
I just need you to blow up on Sunday. Why Sunday? Because I need you Friday, Saturday. So if you can just hang tight.
I feel like you're getting the deliverance right now of the virus. And if you can incubate for five or six days. Oh, is that only how long it turns? I don't know, man.
It was entrenched. You know what? I'm feeling like I have to go to the bathroom. I think it's just psychosomatic now.
Oh, I ain't really gotta go anyway. You know, I kept my distance from... I watched Jax's championship game, which he lost, by the way. Oh, I'm so sorry.
Papa Mike's still proud of you. Yeah, of course. Yeah. But, you know, so I kept my distance from everybody and a parent still blew up.
I'm like, there's no way that shit was from me. The next day he got sick. I'm like, nope, nope, nope. I'm not taking responsibility for that one.
You know, I didn't know what was wrong with you, but yesterday on the ride home, I almost had to stop twice. I mean, I didn't even know that's what your problem was. Adrian's like, what's wrong with you? Well, I ate that pizza at the bar last night.
Oh, I was, uh, no, I was vomiting, too. Oh, it was, it was the whole, it's the whole thing. I don't like the vomit. I don't mind everyone.
Yeah, the vomit, the nausea. I'm a regular pooper anyway. I don't like the vomit. It's, ugh.
When the kids bring home the stomach bug, you know, it doesn't matter. For whatever reason, it, it hurts me the most. I feel like it always hurts the dad the most. Yeah.
If it gets to the dad. Well, we're the big, oh, we gotta take a break. Okay, we're gonna take a break because I'm not putting in the thing against too much pain. Okay, just do it.
All right, we'll take a break. Bye. Hey, it's Mike, too. Want to be part of the show?
com/thecigarhustlerspodcast. We have tiers starting at just $5 a month. For $10 a month, you get a special show swag, and then you're eligible for the weekly secret show. Secret shows cover in-depth cigar reviews, behind-the-scenes information, and sometimes we just talk shit about people.
Choose which tier works best with your budget and become an official show hustler. Thanks for the support. " The Poop Edition. So I feel like if, you know, for whatever reason, it affects men worse than women.
I think we're the weaker of the two anyway. Okay, you can say that. Whatever. You can make that argument.
I won't disagree with it, you know? Right. I just don't want to be fucking berated. I just want to just let me die.
You know what I mean? Well, see, my wife's like that, too. When I get sick, and she's like, well, you know, she's seeing me up slopping through the kitchen going, what? I want to just, I want a cup of coffee.
Well, I could have got it for you. I'm a fucking man, baby. I go, well, yeah, but you don't even know how I take my coffee. So instead of me asking you and it comes in fucked up, I would rather just get up and get it.
Oh, that's where we differ, man. That's where we differ. And then I go back in the bedroom night later. My wife's a killer.
She'll come in, I'm just, oh, I'm dying. You're not dying. I am too. Just leave me alone.
Brittany executes everything to a T. I can't. I mean, if I want coffee, she knows. Like, I don't know.
Well, your wife has, not the luxury, but your wife is at home, or my wife comes home from work. I don't know, man. I don't know if that's good or bad. I'd rather take the job.
Oh, well, I would too. Have you seen the kids? I would too. They're out of fucking control.
And not only that, but she still has to do bookkeeping, and she's actually working on another side project that I'm not allowed to disclose, but she's doing something. Oh! Yeah. Yeah.
It's a podcast we're doing on Mondays. I mean, I think that would be great. I'm Brittany, this is my life. Hi, my name is Brittany, and this is my life.
Today, all the kids shit on me at the same time. It was consecutive. I mean, you know, it's really kind of funny that you make that comment, but like, this is how the week played out, right? Like, Monday night, you go to bed, and then all of a sudden, a kid walks in butt-ass naked.
And he's like, I pooped my pants. I'm like, ugh. The middle one? That's the middle one.
Okay. I don't think the bigger one would come in. No, he doesn't go rogue. No.
I'm like, okay. So, you know, then you gotta handle that whole situation. Right. Handle that whole situation.
Put the kid back to bed. He's back up. You know, another 20, 30 minutes. It happened again.
I'm like, okay. So then, you know, I mean, you can't get frustrated. You know, you take care of what you gotta take care of. Go to the stairs, settle the kid, lay back down, fucking dogs want to go out, and I'm like, you got to be fucking kidding me.
They heard the commotion. They're right, and I'm not even sick at this point, I'm just, you know, I'm just getting, getting it on from all ends as far as, as far as kids and dogs and shit. I'm like, God damn, give me a minute, just give me, you know, but, um, that's the life that you choose when you become a parent. Did all three of them get it?
All three of them got it. Yeah, the baby had it first, and the baby, and so Teddy had it, and it wasn't a big deal, it was just a little diarrhea or whatever. She didn't think anything of. Right, right.
She didn't have a temperature. She's always a bitch anyways. So you can't really tell. You know what I mean?
She's always cranky in a bad mood anyways. Well, she just wants constant attention, you know? Right. I don't blame her.
So she had it and we didn't really think anything of it. But then when the little guy got it, or the middle guy, Justice got it, that's when he knew shit was about to go sideways. I'm like, oh no, this is not good. And then Jack's got it.
and I'm like, oh, man. Quarantined him the first time he pooped himself. Dude, you can't. It ain't like that.
You know what I mean? I know the boys are in the same room, but. It doesn't matter. Rip that kid.
It doesn't matter. And when your kid gets sick, it doesn't matter. You want to be there for your kid. So it's like, all right, I'll take it, you know, just bring it on.
But yeah, so it was an interesting week. So did Brittany have it at all? Well, first of all, again, women are superheroes. Right.
So I think that she has it or she, you know, whatever the case may be. Somewhere in the middle of the process. It's going, it's either going on right now or it's on the tail end or whatever. Right.
But it is not at the same scale. Right. You know, or maybe it is at the same scale. She just, you know, she can just handle pain better.
I don't know. Well, we have the babies. Yeah. So compared to that, it's nothing.
Yes. So. Did you try the mustard? Dip the cigar in the mustard.
I hear that's very good. That's nice. I saw somebody's dog eating the mustard. Oh, I didn't see that.
On purpose, or did it steal? I think it was on purpose. Oh. Hmm.
So-and-so loves the mustard. So-and-so loves the mustard. Smoked the cigar last night and it almost died. Uh, yeah, I saw you smoking that bear.
Yeah. And I bailed on it, uh, three-quarters of the way through. I'm like, I can't do it anymore. All right, are you ready for the news?
Yeah, hit it. We have a little bit of news. From around the world. Around the world.
All right, Florida news. I have a COVID story. A lot to discuss. From the four corners of the world, all the cigar industry news you could possibly need.
The Cigar Hustler Podcast Report with Mike Toon. Thank you. Limited Cigar Association adds distribution in Norway. Whoa.
Limited Cigar Association, or LCA, subsidiary of Provada Cigar Club, that brings small-batch, limited-edition cigars to brick and mortar retailers, has announced that it is added distribution in Norway by the way of an agreement with Nordic Cigars. From the beginning of Provada Club, up through the success of the LCA, our members are what have driven and guided us, said Brian. Brian, yeah, Brian Disson, of the Limited Cigar Association. What a lot of people don't understand is that Privada is worldwide.
World, prestige, worldwide. We have members in over 17 different countries. Investors. And they want the products they see is shipping to LCA.
Possibly you. Shipping to LCA ships. Hmm. Somebody, somebody should have proofed their story before they wrote it.
Where'd you get it from? Uh, Half Wheel. Yeah? Yeah.
We found the culture that Nordic and, uh... I don't know if you sound confident about that. That's the only place I guess, it's a little easier that way. Oh, okay, good.
I don't like the way the aficionado writes for some reason. We like to lay a solid foundation in all our endeavors. Norway is the start of that. We are honored to serve the cigar culture of Norway and look forward to delivering rare and exclusive ultra-premium cigars from some of the world and most renowned boutique manufacturers, Skow, he says, which is the traditional something from Norway.
The LCA will begin sending some of those releases the normal way in the near future, though the cigar release as part of the LCA's monthly release structures will remain in an exclusive US-based retailers. The LCA has recently expanded its retail offerings to include the Charger Ash by Aladino, still unsure of that, I guess it is Charger Ash because it did the car. That's coming this week or something. That was released in April and was not part of that monthly new cigar program.
That's not out yet. Yeah, it's coming it says. It says released in April. That was released?
No, no, no, no. It was not part of the club package that came out in April. Okay. It's still coming soon.
Good. To some place near you. All right. I mean, you guys, fuck that up.
The LCA will begin sending some of its early, all right, I read that. " Is Norway cigars that big a deal? I don't know, but you know, hey, you gotta give the guy kudos, man. It seems to be a lot of cigars announcing that they are going that direction, so maybe it's an up and coming thing.
Starting to spread, you know, I mean. Starting to spread. You gotta give them credit. Let's see.
It will be distributed to several shops. We're released first Friday of every month, and then 50% of Nordic cigars. Retailers have already indicated an interest in carrying the cigars. Are we gonna carry the Nordic cigars?
They're very cold. Are they blue? They're cold draw. Yeah, cold draw.
Can I put it in my soda to chill it? No. I don't think so. No.
Nordic Cigars launched in August of 2018 and distributes a number of premium cigar brands in Norway, including Padrón, Fratello, Zeno, Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust, Roma Craft, Lugion, Warped, Sinestro, and then two words I can't pronounce. Among others, as well as Boveda, Colibri, Bometheus on the accessory side. So Roma Craft's in Norway. There you go.
There you go. Must be a big deal then. You know, they're all over the place. The biggest problem in our industry.
Oh, wrong one. That's intrinsic apathy. Bam, you gotta go to work. There you go.
Bam, you gotta go to work. Like you had to verify. Had to verify where they moved. Shit, I wish this one.
New Hampshire cigar bars will be allowed to serve food. New Hampshire? New Hampshire. You can get food there.
You want a sandwich with that? That's right. I'll take a Liga Privada and a BLT, please. Give me the Cuban press.
A bit of cigar legislation was included in a recent signing of bills by New Hampshire Governor Chris Hampshire Governor Chris Sunu-Sunu. Sunu-Sunu. S-U-N-U-N-U. Sunu-Sunu.
S-U-N-U-N. As an executive, gave his approval to HB 171, which will allow cigar shops to serve but not sell food. What? It's free.
It's free. They can serve it, but they can't sell it. Interesting. That's strange.
Why would you want to give them- Sounds like a great business practice. Take this sandwich. Brief bill changing just one word of state law. In particular, the bill revises one of the four criteria that an establishment must meet in order to qualify as a cigar bar, meaning they can sell and serve alcohol while also allowing the smoking of cigars.
One, they need to sell cigars. Two, they need to serve or sell liquor. Three, they can give away food. Who wants to do that?
Chips. Chips. We have chips. We have chips.
You pay for the chips. And pork rinds, but we don't give them away. You must pay for them. We had popcorn for a while.
We gave that away. That was really nice. That was nice. But then Health Guidance came in, shut it down.
Said nope, somebody's got Mursa in the popcorn in some other bar. Yeah, so popcorn's out. Popcorn's out now. Okay, cool, cool story, Deltono, thanks.
Thank you very much, yes. Currently, the line says an establishment must not allow cigarette smoking or service of food on the premises. With the bill passes, service is replaced by sale. Oh, so that's why they crossed out service and wrote sale, so you cannot sell food.
Why would you want to give it away? Maybe like for events or something, I don't know, we give away food, yeah, but you're not allowed to do that in New Hampshire, now you are, now you can give away pizza. It just said you couldn't, oh, I guess you couldn't serve us food, couldn't serve food, oh, all right, the pizza's over there, it's over there, I can't serve it to you, but I can't serve it, but it exists, help yourself do the egg rolls at Cigar House, I can't acknowledge the food, I can't tell you about the food, all I can tell you is there are plates. The biggest problem in our industry, I think, is just this intrinsic apathy.
I agree. I love the crickets in the background. We have the door open. That's like so throwback on the podcast.
It sounds terrible, too. And right before that's when he was wiping off the table, so it sounds like he's rapping because he's wiping ash off the table. Black Label Trading Company announces Bishop's Blend 2021. For the sixth consecutive year, Black Label Trading Company will release Bishop's Blend.
Are we getting that one? I don't know. Probably not. I mean, it's a good cigar.
Later this month, a trio of Bishop's Blend 2021 Vitals will head to stores. Probably not here. I don't want to be on their shit list. And you saw last night on Bear's show, he brought it up again.
Well, I was honest though. I didn't say anything bad about that. Yeah, you still had mentioned that I posted the picture. It was crew.
Last time it was team, this time it was crew. I thought it was Chet. No, it was me. Last time you did.
He thought it was Jake. God bless it, it was me. You know what? I put a giant pile on the bar because we got that whole case of a man or whatever and I stood behind it.
I think I went like this. Doesn't it suck to put in all the work and not get the credit? Yes. Welcome to my world, brother.
Terrible, terrible. Oh, God. And my card says Owner Bear. Was not mentioned as one of the owners, just so you know.
Because you're not really one of the owners, but it doesn't matter because everybody thinks you own the place. You own the place. John Oliva was introduced me to the, I was going to say the Oliva sales rep, but no, the other JC Newman rep from Colorado. Yeah.
Even he goes, I'm not sure if he owns Cigar Hustler. I know he's at Cigar Hustler. He might be part owner, I'm not sure, but they abuse him there. They abuse him there?
That's what he said, yes. My wife's standing behind me going, yep, yep, yep. Wow. He'll be offered in the same three Vitolas as last year's release, which we didn't get that last year either.
Black Label Trading Company, Bishop's Blend, Corona Largo, Black Label Trading Company, Bishop's Blend, Robusto, Black Label Trading Company, Bishop's Blend, Lancero. S. release of the Corona Largo and Robusto of a total is limited to 600 boxes each. Oh, it's a limited relief.
We're not getting any limited. We're not getting anything limited. Do you want me to call? Do you want me to call?
They're not taking a call. Hey! Hey, how you doing? I got no hard feelings.
Well, sure, we don't. We didn't do anything wrong with their men at us. You know what, if you notice, that cigar has popped back up, now they are redistributing as an event cigar. Are they?
Yes. They should. I would love to try one. Me too.
I asked our friend who works for them and he said, I can't give you one of those. Oh, why not? People don't like us, Michael. What people don't understand is there's no such thing as bad publicity.
Publicity is publicity. Like, what? What's wrong with that? People don't like us.
You're not going to stop me. If I really want to try the cigar, get the fucking cigar. You're not going to stop us, but people don't like us. All right, we have some COVID news, Michael.
You brought this up on the Patreon last week, and with the great research of the Cigar Hustler Podcast team, I looked into this and found information. This is amazing. Yes, yes it is. This is it is.
All right. Listen, listen to this. Men now have a more compelling reason to get COVID-19 vaccine. Dr.
Sussan, Specs of new coronavirus could make it hard to perform in the bedroom. Boom. How, you ask? Coronavirus infection is already known to damage blood vessels, and vessels that supply blood to the penis appear to be no exception.
Uh-oh. Researchers armed with an electron microscope found coronavirus particles in penile tissue. In the penile tissue. We already talked about this on a past show, but it was in the semen.
In the semen. And in the poop. In the balls, yeah, in the poop. It's everywhere, it's everywhere.
It's everywhere, apparently, it's everywhere. It's running rampant through you. A penalti taken from two former COVID-19 patients who became impotent following the infection, which has occurred six and eight months earlier. See, you're all fucking around here, you know, if they just started with that, if they had just released that from the get, I would, I could tell you that it'd be like 90% of males are vaccinated.
In the state of Florida, only 10 million people have gotten the shot, and there's 22 million people in the state, they said smart on the radio. You know, hey, that's not, you know, that's pretty good numbers. I'm not, that's not, that's not terrible. No, I'm optimistic about that.
I mean, I, you can't get fucking people to wipe their asses, you know, so if you got half, almost half to, well, it's less than half, but close to half, let's just call it half. Let's just call it half. Yeah, let's just round up 50%. Yeah, we're good.
We're good. Further study revealed evidence of blood vessels damaged in the penises, penile penises, of the COVID-19 patients compared to the two other men with erectile dysfunction who never have been infected. The research reported May 7th at the World Journal of Men's Health. Maybe that's why those black market penises were coming from Africa.
Oh, my God. I forgot about that story. COVID replacements, baby. We need new dicks.
We need new dicks. You know what? Get the African ones. They're the best guys.
Send the dicks. We can't get them legally. On the black market then. Hey buddy, I got a dick here, would you like a dick?
If you buy 12, you'll get one free. Oh, look at that one in the deal. It's like Costco. I can meet 11 friends together, we'll be good.
Make that 12 guy. You and 11 friends? You get 12. You get 13, yeah.
Well, we have one extra just in case. Just in case one's broken. When you buy a bulk, you anticipate that something busted. There's no warranty on that stuff.
Hey, mine broke, I need the extra one. Oh, sorry, Michael, that's just the way it works. Anyway, we found that the virus affected the blood vessels that supply the venous causing erectile dysfunctions. Oh, can you ask Skip if he's okay when you're there?
Just a picture. I mean, he did have the vid. He did have it, yes. It's too bad I don't speak fluent Spanish.
I could ask Arlen. She's like, oh, so, you know, hard things, you know. I've heard bad stories. El jefe.
Gallo. No mas gallo. You know, why buy stuff from a dick? Because it could be broken, you might have to, I don't understand.
It needs to be working. Director of the Reproductive Urology Program at the University of Miami's Miller School of Medicine, the blood vessels themselves malfunction and are not able to provide enough blood to enter the penis for an erection. " I hope your dick continues to work. For the record, I've probably had it twice, mine still works.
Yeah. By the six, eight months. I don't think you've really had it. There's a lot of time.
I don't think you've really had it. I think I've had it twice. I don't think you've really had it. We're in Tampa, you know, in Florida, they're not telling you to wear it anymore.
The masks? Yeah. Or your dick? Either.
Oh, you don't have to wear the dick? I don't have to wear the dick either. Okay, that's good. But there would be people, you'd pass people in the halls of hotels, some would have on, some wouldn't have on.
Yeah. I walked through the hotel, I had a lit cigar, because I had to go get something out of the car, so I just sort of held it down and walked through the whole thing. It just felt very weird passing people with masks on while I'm basically smoking a cigar walking past them. Not caring?
Right. Well, hey, listen. I've walked around, I walk around, I don't really wear the mask anymore. I mean, I'm vaccinated.
I was still targeting and Publixing, you know, when I wear it, but I went to Publix this morning to get some stuff before I came in. Even the employees aren't wearing it. Yes, they've been vaccinated. We were targeting.
We went to targeting. The whole squad, no mask. Oh, right. So, I mean, I had mine on, and as I'm leaving, I'm looking around and go, even the employees aren't wearing them.
So, I'm like, we're not wearing these anymore. Good. I'm not bringing my name. It's funny because, like, you know, you know motherfuckers still judging you.
Either whether you wear the mask or you don't, somebody's going to be like, man, who the fuck is that guy? I know. So, I mean, I don't know what to do. You don't have to not worry about other people, Michael.
You need to do what you think is best. That's why I haven't got the shot. Well, I hope your dick works. It works fine.
Because you haven't had the vid. Okay. If I find a guy with a vid, I'm bringing him to you and I'm having him cough on you. Oh, nice.
Thank you very much. You're going to learn. Just like you did when you had it. Yep.
Florida news, Michael. We have a Florida story and then we're going to get out of here. It might be a little early today. We're never early.
Oh. We've got to reach Pedro time. You know the rules. All right, I pulled this story because you had a Zoom you did last Friday with the gentleman from Texas, I believe it was in Texas?
The Distinguished Ruffians. Yes. And the one gentleman was... Alex?
I don't know who it was. Alex reached out to me. Oh, yeah, that might have been the main charge, I don't know who it was, because I popped in briefly to try to stir things up a little bit, and they were talking about sandwiches and things. Yeah, before they got going, yeah.
Okay, but one gentleman asked about alligators. Yes. Oh, that was the guy from Louisiana. Oh, okay, he was asking about alligators.
So I found a very nice alligator story. Oh, very nice. Seeing alligators in Florida is normal, as we told the gentleman. However, seeing alligators wrestling matches are not so normal.
Really? Yes. Gordon Silver of Lakewood Ranch, Florida was shocked to find two large alligators getting to know each other. Really?
Right in his backyard. Wow. These big dinosaurs are getting to know each other in a mating gestures in Lakewood Ranch, he said. It's mating season for alligators.
Oh, it's lovely. According to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, alligator mating season begins in early April with courtship, while actually mating occurs in May or June. So they were dating in April, now they've gotten to know each other. They're doing the alligator swipey-swipeys.
" You know what, I'll tell you what, meet me over there in, what's this man's name again? Gordon Silver's backyard. Meeting Gordon's backyard. He's got a great field, a lot of openness.
Let's see. We can roll around. We can roll around and, you know, get to know each other. Because, you know, I haven't had the COVID, so I work.
So your alligator's working. Well, I'm not sure how that works. Because alligators, have you seen how they sex an alligator? Do you know how that works?
No. You have to stick your finger in between their legs in this hole. Because it's like a reptile? Right.
In a hole. And if you feel a peepee, then it's a male. So it's inside. Maybe when it gets excited.
It's got to come out at some point. Well, that's what I'm thinking. It's like, zoop, boop, a little hook or something. Right, maybe shrinkage from the cold water.
Yeah, that's why they do it. That's why they're like in the land, warm up a little. Right. Get the blood flowing.
In 2020, officials warn of aggressive alligators during this time of year. While they fall in love, they might not be so affectionate. Oh, they're very rough, apparently. Well, they're fucking dinosaurs.
I mean, what do you expect? They're covered in leather, basically. They're covered in leather. It's like an armor of some sort.
S&M alligators. Yeah. Yeah, they're freaks. Let's see, the gator matey season.
This means it could be more mobile and aggressive than usual. The Manatee County Sheriff's Office wrote in a Facebook post after a nine-foot, two-inch male gator had to remove from a county road. He was trolling for some alligator. He was trolling alligator tail.
3 million alligators in all 67 counties. That's a lot of alligators. Yeah, I mean, we should have less. I feel like that we should be reducing that number to at least, you know, 10 thousand.
Well, I don't know what the hunting limit is, or how many bags or patches or permits. I'm not really a fan of the alligators. I feel like we would be fine with that. I like the alligators, but...
No, man, you've heard too many horror stories. You know, like the one kid that died at Disney. That was terrible. Oh, you know, across from the hotel we stay at is a place called Whiskey Joe's.
It's a big bar restaurant thing on this little beach corner, I don't know what those things are called, but anyway, they have a big outside area where you can go and sit, and you can order a drink, and they bring you food, you can sit right by the water, blah, blah, blah, blah, so it's nighttime. What type of water? Is this fresh water? It's Tampa Bay.
So it's the ocean? I'm guessing, yes, yes, but anyway. It's Tampa Bay. Right, yes.
I mean, I don't mean to nitpick here, but it sounds like it's the Gulf. Okay, yes, yes, brackish water at the least. Okay. But, we're sitting there by the edge of the water, we're a foot and a half away from the water, and we're smoking and drinking, that's why we went over there to have a drink and have a cigar, these two kids are playing in the water about, you know, ankle to knee deep, whatever, right there, it's dark, it's night time, you can't see a thing, we had no idea who the parents were, I was a hater and go, those are the kids at Disney that get snatched up.
No, man. No, no, no. No, but I'm saying, well, because nobody's watching these kids. The parents were with this kid.
I mean, the fucking guy went in after the kid. No, I understand that situation, but I said, this is why this happens. Right. That's what I meant.
I didn't mean they were the ones. Obviously, that child's gone, unfortunately. Got the rest of the soul. But this is how it happens.
This is how it happens. And then they start screaming, going, ah, there's a turtle or something. Right. But yeah, that's the ocean.
I mean, it's fine. In return, it was a horseshoe crab, but I've never seen a live horseshoe crab, so that was kind of neat. You know, it looks like a horse over there. Yeah.
And it, when the kids got too close, it sort of reared up. Yeah. Which I didn't know, like, it opened the hood or the thing, whatever, and it was a little Oh, really? Yeah, I mean, it came about two inches out of the water.
Really? Yeah, it was kind of cool. That's nice. Yeah.
And then you took the kids home. No, when they screamed, the parents, you know, were, I guess, over a little further, and they're like, stop yelling! Get over here! Well, I mean, you are at a bar.
Right. Like, but were you, you know, I mean, come on, you're not, you're not gunning for fucking parent of the year. But that's true. Yeah.
Yeah. Nine o'clock at night, I guess. Yeah. Nine o'clock at night, you're at a bar by the water.
Can't get rid of these kids who really want to get shwasted. Right. Might as well bring them to the bar. Bring them by the beach.
Let them go out in the water. Yeah, if we put them out back, they'll be fine. They'll play in the water. There ain't no sharks in there.
It's okay. It's not a big deal. As long as there ain't no fucking alligators, I'm gonna tell you what. Sharks?
Could be a shark. I feel like a shark will bite you and be like, oh shit, you know, and then you have to deal with that. Well, we're talking like Justice and Teddy age kids. No, that's little.
Yeah. That's a little. Exactly. We're talking about like a five-year-old and a two-year-old?
Maybe three. Oof. Because a kid could walk sufficiently. You know?
Hold her little dress bottom, you know, out of the water and she's... Oh, well, at least, you know. Yeah. That's nice.
Ah, turtle! It's a horseshoe crab. It's a horseshoe crab. The mother and mother are looking at me, and I went, ma'am, that's a horse, you grab.
She's like, what is that? Ma'am, take care of your kids. Take care of your kids, ma'am. Ma'am, where did you go wrong?
The waitress comes by, get me another drink. Let's review all of, let's review your life mistakes. Review your choices. First of all, are you with the current father, or is this a new guy?
The children were a complication that you did not plan on. Right. Were you at this bar before you had the children? What's the child support look like for these two?
How much are you getting? Straight down. We're going straight down. All right, this weekend you will be, what, oh, the winner, gotta do the winner, hurry, we're running out of time.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. You were worried before. Ten, and there are a lot of aliases on here, so I'm not exactly sure how we're gonna work this out. So, they're getting quite clever.
Well, you know, if it's an alias, or whatever, and it's the same, winds up being the same person, he does not, he or she does not get the... Oh, look at it. And you're still wanting, they still, the gentleman would still like to work out. The gentleman still wants to work out?
He still wants to work out with you. I'm not exactly sure. This one, it was a little coated somehow. He said he wants to work out with the little mic.
I don't, I'm guessing that would be me, but I don't work out, no. Yeah. He's trying to throw shade. It's cool.
All right, now I'll tell you what, after a week of not eating, I feel like the little mic, I wonder what I'm clocking in at. Yes, I thought there might have been some mass across there. It looks terrible. Oh man, it's terrible.
It's terrible. Quick, we got three minutes. What's my number? Ten.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. I'm gonna go nine. Nine! Mm-hmm.
I feel he has won before. Yeah, let's see. Mark Gordon. I don't think...
I don't think he has either. I think he keeps saying he wants to. Didn't he? No, did he?
No. I don't think he won. I don't think so. Well then, congratulations, Mark Gordon.
You have won a large bear sticker for your car. Congratulations. Congratulations. He gets a $25 gift card, which you know what, not your brother found out how he's giving those away.
He's not happy. You know that the shop is subsidizing our show. He'll be okay. Yeah, he'll get over whatever.
He'll just throw me out of the room again. You want to make an omelet, you got to break a few eggs. All right, Mr. Gordon, congratulations.
You're the winner. You had something else? I did, but you took it away from me. I don't remember.
Michael will be a weasel fest this weekend. I will. If you're, if you're there, he would like, he loves hugs. I don't know why you say that.
Because you're sick. Hopefully it's gone by then. I mean, God, I don't want to be patient zero in a fucking- Everybody, everybody check Skip, make sure he's okay after the COVID thing. I don't want to skip, might be a problem.
Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. " Yeah. Right. With the face painting.
Yeah. You look like a weasel. Just like Braveheart or something. Let's go!
They can take my cigars, but they can't take my bourbon! Something like that. I could see that happening. Uncle Skip, just you know, I told him you like hugs.
Yeah. So, be ready. Yeah. For all the Chet hugs.
All the Chet, you know what's funny is Chet asked me out there, he's like, "Mike said that Skip likes hugs? " And he just left it alone. Absolutely true. That's 100% correct.
He loves hugs. He loves being touched. He loves it when he starts talking, if you just speak over them. Oh, yeah.
He really makes him happy. He really enjoys that. If you're here locally, I'll be running the shop for the weekend, so everything is on sale. Palmer's Day out.
We have a tremendous sampler. The photo will go up tomorrow. A tremendous. You can only buy it here Friday.
Mm-hmm. And if there's any left, you can buy them Saturday, but you can't get them before don't ask. Yeah. All right.
Don't ask. We're revving this up. We're at episode 175. Oh, I've just touched this knife all over.
I forgot. I got to poop. We got to go because now I got to poop. So, episode 175.
You better get over it by Friday. I'm going to call in sick. You better not. Kids are going to run.
There's no one left. Kids are going to run the asylum. There's no one left. Well, we'll be selling bubble gum and ice cream here at the shop.
Married the shop. Oh my goodness. All right, everybody, thank you very much. Appreciate you listening.
Where do you have to go? We're doing the Patreon, and apparently I gotta poop. All right. Bye.
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Yeah, we just don't have to do a single, uh, single podcast ever again. Perfect. I'm good, Mike and Mike. How are you guys doing?
The Hojo, the- Hojo! It's the Hojo! He didn't even let him fuck it up all the way. I can't get past Hojo!
I don't even have to try it. He's not even gonna try it. We're gonna, we're gonna cover a lot of ground here, Mike. - All right.
Try to keep up. - That's a sign of a good podcast. - It'd be like four cigars when I walked in a door. - All right, end this.
Show Notes
We ponder the thought sbsout Alligators wanting more tail this time of year...post covid males maybe having some ED issues?? BDP was running around Tampa!