188 Father BDP, Invisible Sports with Mikey and OF sexy time?

Episode Summary

Episode 188 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast opens with the Mikes in loose, unfiltered form — Mike Palmer recounts his brutal reaction to his first Moderna shot, his new (and very real) ordination through the Universal Life Church that lets him legally officiate weddings in Florida, and the loss of his German Shepherd, Falcor. Douglas Pendleton is named Listener of the Week, Mike the Mailman drops by as the live studio audience, and the hosts announce a new free "Shop of the Week" shout-out segment for retailers who email the show.

The industry portion centers on the PCA's GoFundMe fundraiser. The hosts pull up the live tally (roughly $22,850 of a $60,000 goal in 20 days) and read off donors including Lou Liga, Harbor Cigars' Marvin, and Top Shelf Cigars — then call Lou Liga live on air to thank him and let him plug the Luliga Cigar Lounge in Philadelphia's Fishtown. Sports talk covers Tom Brady, the Buccaneers, Mac Jones and Cam Newton in New England, plus AFC/NFC sleeper picks ahead of a father-son trip to the Bucs-Patriots game.

News segment highlights: OnlyFans' announced ban on sexually explicit content (and what it means for the platform's 130 million users); Scandinavian Tobacco Group's strong Q2 2021 earnings and raised guidance; Alec Bradley bringing back the Filthy Hooligan and Filthy Filthy Hooligan Shamrock barber-pole candela cigars for St. Patrick's Day 2022, with full blend details, pricing and production numbers; Rick Ardito named National Sales Director at Veritas Cigars under owner Joel B. Weber; and Todd Vance joining Limitless Cigar Company to launch a cannabinoid-infused premium cigar in 2022. The show closes with the trademark Florida Man story — an 18-hour Volusia County crime spree involving three stolen Ford F-150s, a forklift, a four-wheeler and a stolen catalytic converter — plus a plug for the HVC pig roast event on August 27th and a teaser for a mini-episode with HVC's Reinier Lorenzo.

In This Episode

1. 01
   Listener of the Week & Studio Guests
   Douglas Pendleton is named Listener of the Week and Mike the Mailman sits in as the live studio audience.
2. 02
   Vaccine Reactions, Ordination & Losing Falcor
   Mike Palmer's rough Moderna side effects, his Universal Life Church ministry credentials, and the death of his German Shepherd.
3. 03
   PCA GoFundMe Update & Live Call to Lou Liga
   The hosts read the PCA fundraiser totals and donor names, then call Lou Liga live to thank him and plug Luliga Cigar Lounge in Philadelphia.
4. 04
   New 'Shop of the Week' Segment
   The show launches a free shout-out segment for retailers who send in their shop details.
5. 05
   NFL Talk: Brady, Bucs and Sleeper Teams
   Tom Brady's legacy, the Bucs' NFC path, Mac Jones vs. Cam Newton in New England, and AFC/NFC sleeper picks.
6. 06
   OnlyFans Bans Explicit Content
   Breaking down the CNN report on OnlyFans' policy change, its banking-partner pressure, and platform economics.
7. 07
   Cigar Industry News: STG, Alec Bradley, Veritas & Limitless
   STG's strong Q2 2021 results, the returning Alec Bradley Filthy Hooligan candela barber poles for 2022, Rick Ardito joining Veritas Cigars, and Todd Vance moving to CBD-infused Limitless Cigars.
8. 08
   Florida Man Story & HVC Pig Roast
   A Volusia County crime spree involving three F-150s, a forklift and an ATV, plus a plug for the HVC pig roast on August 27th.

Brands & Cigars Discussed

Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.

Transcript

- This is a good view. I like this one. I feel bigger. - Clean up the desk.

Nice. Welcome to episode number... - Welcome to episode 188! The Cigar Hustler Podcast.

Still the number one cigar show on Podbean I checked yesterday. - Still number one. I'm gonna have David Garofalo call in and fucking harass you. - Tell him, David, who's number one?

Just say it, David, who's number one? - I know a guy. I know. We can get him on here.

Just call a shop and ask for money here. Hi, is David available? David available. We'd like to know what the number one cigar show is on Podbean.

Could you tell us when? It's a his. No, it's not. Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike.

Squared. Squared. You too can become of our podcast family and invest in our show. Put your products in front of thousands of listeners and viewers every episode.

We are heard on 12 different podcast providers weekly all around the world. com. Dot com. Now, we're gonna get this out of the way early.

We have a Listener of the Week. Oh, you want to do it right now? Yes, because it leads into other things that we will be talking about very quickly. Ah, okay.

As we mentioned last week, I got my first shot. Yes. I get a very nice message from Mr. Douglas Pendleton, who is this week's Listener of the Week.

Oh. He was very happy I got the shot. He's an avid listener, and he didn't want the show to stop. He's a good guy.

He seemed very nice. He is. Yes, he seemed very nice. He's a good dude.

We have an audience member today. Yes, we are in front of a live studio audience today, with brass knuckles on apparently at the moment. We have Mike the Mailman in the house. Mike the Mailman, who, if you listen back to our older episodes, he was on the show one time.

He did, he did come on. He did come on. Every once in a while he pops up. He pops in and came in right on time.

Good to know he's still alive. Yes. He had some type of surgery, he's got a little rubber ball on his arm, but other than that he's fine. You know, he's getting old.

That means there'll be no applause, which is good, that way we don't have to worry about the noise. Shit's falling off. You gotta do the ad though, you're still doing the ad? I just read the ad.

Do you not pay attention? YouTube can be right before that. All right. Did that happen?

Yeah. Wow. Don't listen to your own show, do you? Don't.

I'm a little out of it today, man. It was a tough weekend, buddy. It was a tough weekend. Give me a break.

So I got the first shot last week, and the next day, I almost died. I mean, it was terrible. Yes, and Moderna. I had the Moderna.

We say everything on this show. We had the, I had the Moderna shot, and I had a heart attack all day long, and I love that I couldn't keep anything down, but small sips of water, that's so excites me that happened to you, you know, it's because you waited so goddamn long to get this done, and you know, he's waited a long time, you know, he's like, wait, wait, what's the date? Oh my God, these people are still, Oh, now they're scared. Okay.

And the next lady was getting her third shot too. So she shouldn't be doing that. Yeah. I, they announced yesterday to hold You gotta wait at least eight months.

Oh, but no, no, she had gotten them way back. She was there for her booster. It had a bit of time. No way, because I think that they started releasing the shot in February, right?

No, no, no, because she was in October. She was an older woman, so... Yeah, but I... I don't know, I've heard other people get the boosters already.

Yeah, I don't, yeah, because they're not telling you not to, but I think that the idea, they said that the ideal, at least right now, the ideal time to wait is eight months. Right, it's eight months, right. Because if not, you're doing yourself a disservice. Right.

Like, you actually make yourself more vulnerable. I don't know what to tell you. Well, at least wait. But I was getting my first, she was getting her third.

Listen, if you got the shot, don't be such a pussy. Wait your eight months, and then you know you'll be good to go. But she wouldn't be extra safe. Maybe she's gonna get three or four.

Extra safe is not extra safe. If I get more shots, the safer I am. You know what? Fucking put yourself in bubble wrap, too, while you're at it.

Right. Be reasonable, people. Be reasonable. I did take a day off from here that Thursday just to be safe.

I planned ahead. And you died. And Thursday, I just had the heart attack, no vomiting. But it was gone by the end of that day.

By Friday, I was fine. What are we doing for the Patreon, Mikey? We are doing, oh, let me grab this. We are doing the new Monte Cristo Epic.

Epic. Ryan was here from, who's Ryan with again? Altidus. And you're a three.

Successfully weaseling motherfucker. I had three that day. And look at you. I said, oh, I need two for me and Mike both.

And he goes, well, take a third. I want you to smoke it now. And that was Friday morning, and I almost thought I was going to throw up, so I didn't even finish the cigar. I ran out of the room.

He's really hoping for the sale. He's like, oh man, I can lock this in. Palmer's going to smoke this? It's going to be great.

Well, and he even sent me the official sales brochure before I go, well, tell me about it, so I can write this down. He goes, no, I'll just email it to you. Here's the ad. I went to print it, and it's like three pages, all color.

I'm like, no, no, no, we won't do that. No, no, no, no. Let's not get it. So, I did receive my clergy stuff in the mail since last show.

Also, my nice letter and my clergy ID and my parking pass. You asked me why I parked out front because I'm clergy now. He's a pastor, so if you need- I'm a pastor. So, Mike- If you'd like to get married, I am now officially ordained.

Yeah, Mike, we can settle this right now, you know? I even brought in my letter. I had it framed. I wrote in my letter.

Isn't that lovely? Yeah, I'll tell you what, you know, if you want, Mike, we can duct tape Danielle and you guys can get hitched. I was at a wedding, we'll bring Michael up to speed, I was at a wedding, I was in a wedding last weekend, and there was a chance the officiant might not show, so after a couple of phone calls, I just decided, well, I can handle this, so I went online, answered a couple of questions, agreed not to do certain things, and boom. And that's the mentality you have to have, solve, we solve problems, you know, this is dated August 16th, I'm going to read my nice letter, it's a very nice letter, in and for the state of Florida, regarding letter of good standing, Michael Palmer has requested this letter We acknowledge that their ordination is in good standing with the Universal Life Church Monastery, and we grant the authority to perform the Sacrament of Marriage.

This minister's credentials of ministry has no expiration date and have been verified this day. Please direct any further deeds to the headquarters below. S. Johnson, Church Administrator, and it is notarized by Mr.

T. Marshall. I'm going to send this company letters and be like, this guy's trying to get stuffed animals to marry fucking people. I don't know what's going on.

He's out of his losses. Don't do that. They'll dash my parking page. Do you guys condone this sort of behavior?

But the Universal Life Church, I'm hanging this up at home. Yeah, a hundred years ago, My Blue Heaven. It was free! It was free!

All I had to do was pay for my ID and the letter. $15 I think I paid. What's the website? I want to get ordained as well.

com. com. You want to get married? We got it done.

It's a real, it's a real church. They just offer this thing. We'll do it right now. You know, we'll get...

What? He wants to marry Chet right now. Oh, you want to marry Chet? Yes.

We don't... We can't do that. No, no, yes, we can. We're not Catholic.

Yeah, you can do whatever he wants. It's all denominations. That's what I'm saying. You know, you really got to push the envelope.

" At the bottom of the letter... He's marrying people to stuffed animals. There's a Jewish thing, there's Hindu, all sorts, oh the Catholics, I don't even know what that one is, who's the red triangle religion, what is that one? He just married a backboard, I mean, you know, it's a fucking, we are all children, the same universe.

There you go. Triangle, you gotta be careful with the triangle, you know, you know how it goes, triangles are never good, you know, they, we lost triangles, remember that? Upside down triangles too. You know the rules, when they take a symbol, they get to possess it.

There you go. Other than that, it's been kind of quiet. I was dying. So, you know, I just recuperated all weekend.

You were dying. Yeah, I had a man to put down another dog. Yeah, it's been a rough year for canines. Yeah, they're dropping like flies around there.

I've lost one, you've lost two, and Greg lost one. Not only that, Drew lost his. Oh, that's right. And Drew, too.

Maybe there's a curse on the building or something. My friends John and Anne-Marie lost their dog. Oh, did they really? I didn't know that.

Yeah. I know of like six, and then Mike lost his dog as well. Oh, that was this year too, wasn't it? Yeah.

Wow, yeah. Look at him. He's not happy about that. Yeah, he loved that dog.

Look at him. I know, he came up here all the time. Very serious. I loved Robbie.

Everybody loved Robbie. Yeah, the dog was fucking amazing. We wanted him to come in, not Michael. Hey, Robbie, if you can just have him drop you off, you know, that'd be great, so we can hang out for a little bit.

But yeah, you know, it's tough, tough. This was, and this was my dog. Right. Yeah, this was your shepherd.

This was, yeah. Yeah. Loyalty. Loyal to the end.

She was. She was a good dog. Yeah, it wasn't good. Her legs kicked out at the end, and she wasn't happy.

She wasn't happy. Oh. So, we knew what we were kind of getting ourselves into, had the, when we took her to like an emergency room vet, made sure that the boys and everybody got to say goodbye, and like, listen, I don't know. Oh yeah, how the boys doing?

Did they already ask for a new dog? Oh, yeah. Well, I kind of set that up. That's what, yeah, that's what they did with the first one.

Yeah, I kind of set that up, too. Oh, we're sorry, you're gone. I was like, hey. Yeah, so I mean, so we went and I said, hey, listen, I can't guarantee this dog's coming back.

I can't guarantee you're going to see Falcor again. So please say your goodbyes and, you know, I'll do my best. Obviously, it didn't work out. Right.

Dog passed. We were in the room for the, which I wish I could have been in the room for Fluffy. It's a way better experience, you know, because you can be with him to the end. For the dog.

They say it's better for the dog. Yeah, I agree, you know. Yeah, it's not easy. It's not easy losing a dog.

So I come home and then, you know, Jack's obviously the most receptive to it. Justice is like, eh. He's a little younger, not as attached. I mean, Justice is, he's a cold son of a bitch.

I mean, let's be honest, you know, today, his detail... Can we get a hamster? His one job is to feed the dogs. His morning and evening job is to feed the dogs.

So he's supposed to get paid. I haven't paid him in months, but I need to pay... I mean, it's like two bucks a week or something. So...

I'm only getting a dollar now. I said, hey, listen, you know, they got to earn their own money. Look, I need a raise. I started at three dollars.

I'm down to a buck. I'm down to a dollar. Down to a dollar. I need to work on something else.

Can I feed the sister? So he goes to feed El Chapo and he's like, well, I guess I only need to feed the one. I was like, damn! Justice?

God! Same pay, right, Dad? Same pay? I just want to negotiate terms here.

When another one comes in, am I moving back up to four now? four now where were we at uh so but when so obviously when i came home jacks was upset and uh i said hey listen you know she was a great dog she had a great life we're gonna miss her believe me we're not waiting we're gonna go find another dog and he said we are i said yeah we're gonna get another shepherd and we're gonna name him bubbles fucking bubbles baby bubbles yeah el chapo and bubbles yes bubbles because it's amazing it's nothing more than having an aggressive breed So you're getting another girl. I think I'm gonna get a boy. A boy named Bubbles.

Yeah. Oh, that's it. Oh, yeah, Bubbles. No, no, no.

Hold with Falcor. Ten. Ten. Bubbles, baby.

Bubbles. So, you know, we're already starting to kind of look into Shepherds and seeing who we're gonna acquire one from. I just, you know, Falcor always had hip issues. Right.

Even when she was born, she had hip issues. You know, she was still, she still, she had a good luck. But you could tell that every once in a while, she's like, eh, you know, and she'd have to rest on it, and you know, and that's what we thought was going on this time, like, yeah, she just needs a day or two to rest, and then after a day of rest, like, she ain't getting, she ain't moving. She's not doing better.

No, we gotta, we gotta go. So, yeah. Bubbles. Bubbles.

I wanna, I'm thinking either like a, I would love to get like an all black Shepard, or an all white Shepard, one or the other. Oh. Why not? Why not all white?

No, they have all white checklists. They make all white ones, but that seems more expensive. You know, I'll start a GoFundMe. That's what everybody else does.

Oh, you can take more money from the PCA. I got another email from them today. They're still-- You can do it. You can do it.

Let's go, everybody, please. " Peaked at GoFundMe. Yeah, I saw that too. Would you be a hero?

Be a hero. You know, that's what happens when you reduce your marketing campaigns to like the two people. I mean... Be a hero for the premium tobacco.

Help raise $60,000. How much is that? Hold on, I'll hit the button. Click the link.

Find the fight. Find the fight. Where are we at? Go fund me.

Let's go. Hold on. We need a drum roll, drum roll. $22,850.

Hey! They doubled last week's number. Man, they probably pinged the right guy. Raised by 56 people in 20 days.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Oh, it's only 20 days in. Yeah, somebody stroked a... They normally say how many who donated what?

" Oh, would you like to know some names and what they gave? Nah, nah, nah. Because we know some of these people. That's okay.

Let's not do that. Wow. Let's not do that, but hey, at least they got 22. I don't know, they would like shout outs, I would imagine, recognition for their donation.

If they put their name here. All right, give me two. All right, Lou Liga. Wow, Lou Liga.

A hundred dollars. $100. Hey, good for him. Let's go with a big one then.

If I get one more, we'll go with a big one. You want to call Lou right now? No, no. Okay, there's only a couple here without going further in.

Harbor Cigars, our friend, Marvin. Marvin gave $1,000. Yep. That's nice.

That's right. Top Shelf Cigars, $500. All right, that was three past two. Oh.

Let's call Lou. What do you call Lou for? I don't know, what the hell? You know, he's Facebook Live.

He's with his daughter. They're out playing. No, I thought that was Lenny. Oh, that was Lenny Schmigo.

Yeah. Not Lou Liga. Let's fucking call him. Call him then.

You gotta connect your phone. You ready? Yeah. You're gonna hit the button.

Yeah, yeah. All right. You should be ready. Start looking for it.

Before my phone grabs it. What is it called? Roadcaster. Roadcaster Pro.

Boom. Connected. This guy's not gonna answer. Lou will answer.

Want me to call him? He likes me. Lou Liga. Let's see.

Here we go. One hour ago. Fresh donation. What's up, homie?

Yo, what's up, Lou? Hey, Lou Liga, you're on the Cigar Hustler Podcast. You're on the Cigar Hustler Podcast right now. What's up, bud?

There you go. What's up? We would just like to thank you for your generous donation to the PCA to help fight the fight. Look at you.

Oh, well, I'm a member. What's that? I'm a member of the PCA. Well, you know, it's only due diligence, and they help the industry out a lot, so...

Yeah, it's nice. We were promoting the fundraiser, and then your name popped up as a recent donator. Yeah, so you dropped a cool hunch. That's very impressive, man.

Very nice. Good for you. See? The Lulega Lounge up there.

Anybody that says bad things about you, they're fucking full of it. You know? Here you are. You know how the haters are.

Yeah, you just... Don't give me a hot tub, bro. You know? But you're out, but you're out, you're out fighting the fight, you know?

Well, here you are, starting your retail shop, you're getting things going, I saw the t-shirts, that's lovely, look at you. Yes, yes, yes, I'm working, I'm working, getting it done. It isn't easy. It's not easy.

It's not easy. But hey, you know, keep going, doing what you're doing. We just wanted to, we won't keep you long, I know that you're busy, but we just wanted to say, hey. On behalf of the PCA and the cigar people of America, we'd just like to thank you, Lou, for your contribution.

It's noted. No problem. Hey, give a quick, where's your shop? Give a quick plug, go ahead.

Luliga Cigar Lounge, 25 East Allen Street, second floor, Philadelphia, PA, Fishtown section of the city. There you go, go check out Lou. All right, brother. There you go.

Take it easy, man. All right, Lou, bye-bye. Bye. Terrible phone reception.

Yeah, what's going on? Terrible phone reception. Great shop, very friendly man, terrible phone reception. He's a good dude, man.

He is. That could bring us into our next thing, the shout-out. Sure. If you would like to have a, we're going to start doing a shop of the week like we do a listener of the week.

If you would like your shop and yourself mentioned, send us, what all information do we need, Michael? com, right? No, no, that was taken. com.

com. Yeah, we can't get Mike and Mike. It's already taken. It's already taken.

With the name of the store, the address, email address, phone number, and... Right, and we'll give a shout-out. With the phone number, we might even call, just like we just did Luke. Yeah, we could buzz you in.

What the hell? Because, you know, we're all in the shit together. So, let's sponsor, and you'll be sponsoring the Listener of the Week, because we're that type of... Free, no charge.

Totally free. Totally free. Yeah. Just because.

Because we love you. So. Ooh, I wonder who the first one will be. I don't.

I don't know. It's very exciting. I got to bring the timer back up, because what if we stop talking. Oh, no, we're still 17.

We have plenty of minutes. Plenty of minutes. What else? I don't want to get into the news yet.

It's too soon. I mean, hey, you know, I had the dog thing. You know, that was crazy. It was a crazy weekend for me.

Oh, we did, before the dog died, we did do mini golf. Oh, really? Yeah, we went down to Universal. There's many golf at Universal?

Oh, yeah, man. It's really fucking cool. Oh, I'm sure it is. It's Universal.

So, they have like a haunted house one and a sci-fi one. So, we did the haunted house one. They always had that? Yeah, yeah.

It's crazy. Wow. So, you know, and it was cool. Is that in the park?

No, it's before you get into the park. Before you get into the park. In CityWalk. Oh, oh.

We're banging it out, and then like, and the kids are having a good time, and you know, we kind of, I kind of sandbagged a, it's not sandbagged, I like gave a justice, you know, put like bumpers up when he started hitting too hard and stuff like that. Oh, there's like bumpers like, no, I dropped my club so that he couldn't go back. Oh, I thought it was like bowling, you hit a button and bumpers come out. Yeah, and then Brittany had Teddy knocking the ball around, so that was really, really cool.

Oh, that's nice. And then at the end, there's like, it's like this haunted house for the 18th hole that you go in. Right. And all you do is you hit the golf ball and it goes through this whole little mechanical thing.

Are you in this house or you see it? Yeah, you're inside the house. And it goes and moves and then drops down close to where the hole is. Really, really, really cool.

Wow. Is that new-ish? No, man, I'm telling you, it's been there forever. You walk past it a hundred times.

Oh, you don't even see it. And you see it, well, you see like this little haunted house kind of sticking up. You're like, oh, what is that? You know, but it's like, so we did that and then we tried out this new place called, hmm, the Sugar Factor?

So it was packed, we couldn't get in, but we just bought shakes, like a fucking $13 shake or something. Yeah, with 12,000 grams of sugar and candy in it. But it was amazing. Oh, I'm sure it was delicious.

Yeah, the kids loved it. And they didn't go to bed for six days. They're still up. It's insane.

" And he started running around. " Yeah, they watched, they watched a little something. Dude, the wrestling at my house is just absolutely They're absolutely out of control. Oh, participation wrestling.

Well, for one, them beating the hell out of each other. And then just them watching the WWE stuff is, I mean... Oh, they find it on YouTube or something? Yeah, that's what happened, I think, originally.

And they just, fucking, they consume a lot of data. I'm sure you're boys. Atomic elbow! Can you smell what I'm cooking?

So I learned from my buddy Chris, Chris Baldwin, that Peacock now does like the pay-per-views. So it's like five bucks a month. And you can watch the rest. Oh, Peacock, so that's the NBC streaming service.

So they had SummerSlam this weekend, so they got to watch SummerSlam, at least the majority of it, before they passed out. And, you know, I gotta tell you, man, like, when the level of excitement my kids have for this stuff is insane. When somebody would lose a title or somebody else, I mean, they started off in the family room, then I eventually shoved them into their room because it was past their bedtime, like, you could still watch it, just lay down. and every time a fight was over, they ran out.

They're like, so-and-so. Like, go the fuck to bed. Go to bed or I'm going to turn it off. Jumping from bed to bed.

Oh, my God. Yeah, it's... I ain't kicked and running around going, oh! Oh, yeah, no.

Yeah, well, there's this RKO guy where now one kid's running, the other kid tries to hook him and drop him. And I'm like, listen, it says clearly not to be done at all. There's a disclaimer before the show. And because the Omos guy works out at my gym, Now, I have to know every single person in the WWE.

I'm obviously affiliated with them. I forgot they met him. He's in this, obviously. Yeah, he lost the belt.

So now they go to the gym, they go, don't tell you. He's weak. He's weak. He got beat.

But now, so like every person that's on, they're like, so do you know Edge? I'm like, no, I don't know. The one guy works at the gym. You just say yes!

I don't want to lie to my kids. So, Santa Claus? No. Here's my answer to Santa Claus.

Easter buddy? I'll tell you, I'll tell you, I'll tell you my simple, my simple answer, I'll tell you my simple answer to any of those. Okay, why? If you believe, you get presents.

Right? Trying to think if that's a lie. Yeah, no, I go, well, I could tell you that if you, no, it's not a lie. No, it's not.

If you believe, you get presents. Right. So, if you believe, and... But is he real?

It doesn't matter, do you believe? The question, the question isn't if is he real or not, the question is, if you believe, or if you don't believe, because if you believe, you get presents. If you don't, you don't. I believe, Michael.

And Santa Claus is all that's come through for you. No, Tooth Fairy. Oh, yeah, that guy, too. I mean, at this point, though, you start losing teeth.

Yeah, you start losing teeth is your problem at this point, so. Oh, man, right. Yeah, yeah. We're talking, you know, root canals and implants and all types of this.

You ain't, there's nothing else coming back in for you, pal. No, yeah, my teeth don't grow back. Yeah. Not fun.

Not fun at all. So, what else? We're at 22 minutes. We can break early and come back and do the news, or...

What else, what all happened? I mean, you know... It was a slow news week, but we do have some long stories, and we have a very good, oh, very good Florida story. We have a, we do have an HVC event coming up.

Oh, that's right, yeah, yeah. We're doing a pig roast. Yeah, we're doing a pig roast this Friday. August 27th?

August 27th. Pig roast, Michael, on Friday. Yeah, and we got... Yeah, yeah, that damn box is out again.

I keep hitting my knee on those handles. i can tell you one one thing that my son doesn't know so if britney if you're listening to this and the kids are in oh she listened i know you need to this is your disclaimer where you need to turn this off right now you need to turn it off earlier so um yeah well it was just a question if you believe that's true so i decided so my son has always has been bugging me about the new england game so we're gonna go we're gonna go we're gonna go we're gonna we're gonna go the I was like, dude, and when I looked, the ticket prices were atrocious, you know, six months ago, there's no fucking way I can afford to go, I mean, I still can't afford to go to this game, but whatever. So I looked and the prices came down to about half of what they were, and I'm like, you know what, fuck this, I'm doing this, we're gonna go, we're gonna have a great time, and so I, you know, we're up high, whatever, you know, but we, I booked our flights, I booked a hotel room. Oh, sure, for him, you booked a hotel room.

I did. Oh, yeah, I learned my lesson. Oh, yeah, we went to Vegas, Michael. He didn't book a hotel room.

It was still expensive as shit, because, you know, I wasn't, I'm not going to stick him in. 11 o'clock. Yeah, 11 o'clock at night, he starts looking for hotel rooms. It shouldn't be a problem in Vegas.

Right. But the problem was that Bruno Mars was in town, Garth Brooks was in town, the UFC fight was in town, all in the same fucking weekend. Who knew? Everybody went out.

So we paid a super premium. Go ahead. Your wife is in mediums, hit it. Your wife is in me, D&T, baby!

He can't hear me. We'll be at an after party, the win, no cool baby! Yeah, no rooms at the win, though, but he had an after party there. Yeah, no, I couldn't get in the win, either.

Yeah, so. But hey. We ended up in the Bruno Mars Hotel. Hey, but the fact, yeah, it was terrible.

But the fact of the matter is, we still had a great time when we were there. We did, we did, it worked out. Okay, you know, it's not like I'm traveling with another- The $75 hamburgers we ate that night. Traveling with a grown-ass man and not having a hotel room is a little different than traveling with an eight-year-old.

I can act like an eight-year-old. I know. I'm well aware. At 10 o'clock, I was going to...

I'm hungry. I'm tired. I got to pee. Holy shit, Mike.

Come on. But yeah, so that's going down. We're going to New England. When is that?

October 3rd. What day of the week is the 3rd? I think it's a Sunday. We need to do an extra show.

An extra show? Will you be back in time on Monday? What, do you leave Saturday, come back Sunday night? No, I'm flying in Sunday, and then I come back Monday.

So, we either do it Tuesday, or we have an extra one in? I don't know, you're scaring me. It's good to have an extra show. It is good to have an extra show.

Normally, the other podcasts, we have an extra show, but we had already burned that extra show, so this last week, we had no bueno. Yeah, no bueno, we had no show last week. Your wife is eating. But we're going to do a double this week, and then probably the week after, another double, so we'll have a couple built for that show.

So anyways, I decided to do it because it's important to have those simple events, you know, those epic things. Something I'm going to remember. Yeah, you can look back and say, we went to Brady's last game in New England. Like, I'm a Patriots fan and I'm a Bucs fan.

Oh, I just saw on the news, somebody was working out with the Buccaneers and he tested some coach or something and tested positive for COVID. Oh, yeah? Unvaccinated or vaccinated? No, I think he was unvaccinated, but he tested positive for COVID and now they're worried about the team.

Well, it's still pre-season, so they'll be fine. As long as nobody dies. I don't think it is. They're all healthy.

All very healthy. I don't know. All right, we'll take a break now. I mean, Brady is in that age bracket, I guess.

Has he had the vaccine? I'm sure he has. I don't know. Yeah.

Well, older guys, it's tough. It could kill you. Yeah, he's like Chuck Norris, man. They're taking his blood for it.

Yeah, when he does a push-up, he moves the earth, yeah, that type of stuff, yeah, yeah, he doesn't push-ups, no, I do earth downs, yeah, he walks on water and swims through land, you know, that type of stuff, that's Tom Brady, oh, yeah, very nice, yeah, his next level, oh, it's amazing, well, he is the goat, Michael, he is the goat, he is the goat, without question, the goat. For Tom Brady, get to go, Mr. Brady, you are also a listener of the week, if you happen to be, you know, if we're a regular thing for you at camp, you know, what's really funny is, so, I think that, so, we're watching the preseason games at the house, and Jack's like, well, Blaine Gabbert has a better completion rate than Like Tom Brady, like Tom did like two throws. Yeah, they're not gonna burn him in the, uh.

And I was like, so I'm like, so you're saying Blaine Gabbard's better than Tom Brady? And he goes, yeah, look at him, he's better. I go, really? I go, you know how many rings Blaine Gabbard has?

And my son goes, how many? I go, one. And I go, do you know why? And he said, no.

I go, because of Tom fucking Brady, that's why. Because he was on the goddamn team when they won. He has the Tom Brady ring. He's like, okay.

All right, I guess I see your point. Yeah. Just look at him and go. What is it?

Six now? Seven. Seven. I don't know.

I don't know. Going for eight. Going for eight. He shouldn't stop until he gets ten.

I don't know who the competition is in the NFC. The Seattle Seahawks maybe? Possibly the Packers, but there's a lot of, you know, Aaron Rodgers. There's one guy, though?

What's that? That has that many. No. Oh, you mean this year to see who wins?

Yeah, like who's the competition. Oh, I think they make competition on who has the amount of rings. Like how difficult is it realistically for the Bucs to get to the Super Bowl? I understand that, you know, the Bills are obviously going to be a problem and so is Kansas City, but they're AFC.

Oh, look, we're running out of time. So, NFC-wise, you know, I don't, you know, I would say Seattle and Green Bay and, you know, I think the sleeper team could be Washington, honestly. If it's magic, if it's magic. The Washingtons.

It's magic and I like the Henneke kid, man. San? San Francisco? The 49ers?

Jets, Jets, Jets, Jets, Jets. That kid looked good, though. What's his name? The BYU kid?

He looked good in preseason. No, I'm not giving San Francisco a chance. Not even close. No, not even remote.

Definitely not Atlanta. All right, we really have to break. No Carolina. Nothing in the NFC South.

All right, they're going to keep talking about sports, but we're going to go take a break. Nothing. We'll be right back. All right.

Hey, it's Mike, too. Want to be part of the show? com backslash the Cigar Hustlers podcast. We have tiers starting at just $5 a month.

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Oh, and I didn't even turn this off, so this just kept going anyways. Anyways, it doesn't matter. You should probably do that. Probably should just do that, yeah, because we had that one problem that one time.

One time, it didn't work, it took and a half. Just the beginning. Hmm? No Dallas?

No Minnesota. You're serious, right? Dude, I'm an F. You said NSC.

I just told you the sleeper team is... The NSC. Okay. I just told you the sleeper team is Washington.

Okay. That's the same... That's almost sad. Same division as Dallas and Philly and the Giants, right?

I mean, you guys fucked that up. Man, you really fucked that up. What's that? Do not quote the deep magic to me, witch!

I was there when he was written. I'm just trying to shit my ear just to be a dick. Okay, what? AFC, sleeper.

AFC sleeper. AFC sleeper team. You can do this, I know you can do it. You have to do this thing.

You know, I think an AFC sleeper team, you're not gonna like this. No, I won't like it if you get the right one. I would say it's Miami. Oh, get the fuck out of here.

Who's your sleeper team? That's the only thing we're going to hear from him is, shut the fuck up! The Chargers? The Chargers are the big sleep.

Okay. Yeah. And the division with the big boys. I would agree with that.

I would agree with the Chargers being a sleeper team. They have the ability. I like the Herbert kids. The city doesn't win 12 games this year.

Wow. Interesting. That division, Oakland, San Diego, Denver, and Denver? What the fuck's Denver got?

What's Denver got? They have a quarterback? Aim it down. Bridgewater is not a bad quarterback.

Bridgewater is not a bad quarterback. People can't hear you. People are watching him have a conversation to himself. Yeah, I'm just talking to you.

They can't hear you. No, they can't see you. The camera faces this way. You can't wave at the mic.

It's a microphone, Michael, not a camera. Microphone. It's just, you know, it's not football season, so you're not mentally prepared. You know what dude, I'm telling you, Miami's got some, first of all, you want to know the sleeper team in the AFC?

Did you send Miami to my face again? I'll tell you the sleeper team in the AFC, fuckin' New England. You can, I would take New England as a sleeper team better than Miami. Mack Jones, Cam Newton's gonna be out of a job come week four.

Yep, won't take that long. I think, uh, you might be right. That kid looks poised man, that kid's got, he's looking good. He's looking good, right Mike?

Yeah, looking huge, huge sports man. He's looking great. No shit about sports? Not a fucking thing.

Not a fucking thing. Not a thing. All right, let's go. I couldn't even find the stadium by myself in Tampa, probably.

Hit me with the news. It's Raymond James. You can't miss it. From the four corners of the world, all the cigar industry news you could possibly need.

The Cigar Hustler Podcast Report with Mike Toon. All right, Michael, the big story this week. OnlyFans says it will ban sexually explicit content. And this has been reported on CNN.

So it's a real news story. It's actually happening. OnlyFans is banning sexually explicit content starting in October. The company announced Thursday, so you need to get all your memberships unvalidated, or whatever it is.

Oh, poor Keanu, he's an OnlyFans customer. You know what, I actually saw a joke about this, and I think it was on like Late Show or something, and in other news, your servers will be back working. Oh yeah, so yeah. In order to ensure the long-term sustainability of the platform and continue to host an exclusive community of creators and fans, we must evolve our content guidelines.

Isn't this how they make their money? Yeah. Yeah, you'd think. They're really gonna hurt themselves.

The company said in a statement adding that the changes come after requests from banking partners and payout providers. Hey, listen, no more porn, okay? Oh, they can't pay the porn people. We can't pay the porn people.

It's a massive shift for a service that has become a major space for adult content as a creator's economy has exploded. Yeah. During the pandemic, this is a big moneymaker. Everybody's at home.

There's a lot of porn, a lot of porn watching. Well, what was the porn company that opened up the bonus program on their website? You know what? I have no idea, but I'm intrigued to hear about it.

We covered this on the show. Did we? Yes. I can't remember the name of the website, though.

There's a bonus? Are you sure we carry that? Yeah, no, they have, like, their regular service, and then they have, like, their VIP service. They made the VIP service free during the pandemic.

Ah, oh, that's right. That was, like, a year ago, though. Yeah. Like, hey, you know, we're gonna open it up to everyone.

Open it up to everybody. Everybody's at home. Free access. Unlimited access.

Download now. Like other social platforms, OnlyFans allows its creators to either offer content for free -- I don't think that happens much -- or else, While they're live streaming videos and messages behind paid subscriptions, creators can also earn revenue through tips or paid messages. The website which was founded in 2016 said it has 130 million users. That's a lot.

If we could get those email addresses. And now we've reduced that to 65 million. 5 million each year. Can you imagine creating that platform?

Like all they did was create a platform and they're getting a piece. Right. That's amazing. Kudos to those guys.

OnlyFan markets itself as a place where photographers, musicians, makeup artists, actors, and other creators can earn parts or even full-time incomes. There's even podcasts that do the Patreon thing on OnlyFans, but they're not naked. I don't think we have to take a closer look. They just have their shirts off?

Maybe pants. We don't wear pants. This is our OnlyFans section when we have no pants on. But it's best known for having sex workers and influencers wanting to promote and sell access to adult content.

Is it now? Is that what it's known for? I had no idea. That's what it says here.

This is a CNN story. " No, well, I pay several monthly subscriptions, and a lot of these women are in love with me, they've told me. Right, exactly. Oh, okay, that's good.

Yeah, but that's not the same for him. Not the same for him. He wants them to say his name. " Just give me a shout out for my $15 a month.

The company on Thursday said it will still allow creators to post nudity as long as it's consistent with our acceptable use policy. I wonder what that is. And you know they fuck up his name, too, like, oh, Chiano. Chiano, yeah.

Because not Chiano, it's C-A-G. Even though it's banning what is called the posting of any content containing sexually explicit conduct, the use policy prohibits violence, rape, and lack of consent. I'm out. So Chiano lost his account.

It also bans the depiction or promotion of escort services, sex trafficking, or prostitution. Oh, well, I mean, you know, hey, it's good to shut down the- OnlyFans said it would be sharing more details in the coming days. Well, that's very upsetting for him. I mean, that escalated quickly, though.

I mean, can you imagine, like, hey, look, you know what, we can, uh, we can sex traffic on OnlyFans, like, wait a second. Wait a minute, you can't parade the little kids throw on the screen. Yeah, like, it just doesn't work that way. I mean, God, it's supposed to be, it's supposed to be underground.

You know you're gonna get arrested for that. It's so wrong. Ridiculous. They're just gonna get in trouble.

Yeah, yeah, they're just gonna shut us down. But you know how much money we're making, though, off that guy? They'll be so quick, 15 billion, come on, let's go. All right, moving on, Michael, to more important information.

So twisted, only been twisted. STG reports strong second quarter 2021 raises guidance again. Oh, raising the guidance. We've been following Scandinavian Tobacco now for about a year with their buyout and their sales and whatever else they were doing, their yada yada, as you say.

The yada yada. One of the world's largest cigar companies has reported its earnings for the second quarter 2021. The results are predictably strong. Strong.

156 billion in revenue. Now, that is DKK, which is Deutsch? Yeah, probably. Sounds good.

5% compared to the 2020 EBITDA. EBITDA. EBITDA for special items. 29 million.

What's that EBITDA convert to in Wampum? 8% margin. 8, Womble, that's a lot of beads. 1.

Oh, that's a love it. 3. Oh, very interesting. 24 million.

We don't know what to do with it. We don't know. You know what? I hear OnlyFans is looking for people to come over there.

That's their problem. That's their problem. That's their problem. You want to know why you're, you know.

Walk some people in front of the screen. If you know why it's only strong growth and you know it's not really upper next level like 40% increase in EBITDA, no OnlyFans page. Alec Bradley announces Filthy Filthy, just one Filthy sorry, Filthy Hooligans returning for 2022. You know what, I would have bought the Filthy Filthy, but just the Filthy Hooligans, I'm not interested.

We've bored our audience, they're walking out. He's got to pee. Well don't do it there. He's old man, he's got to pee.

Go to the bathroom, for God's sakes. It's in order. It worked. I just cleaned it the other day.

The executive bathroom? Yeah, I had to clean it. Hit the toilet, please. Because it was your turn.

You only have the one arm. Is that going to be a problem? Oh, yeah. There's art hung up in there and everything now.

You're derailing on us here. Come on. He's moving on. He's using the bathroom.

Let's go. It's much more interesting. Can you turn the camera? We can get it when it comes out.

Well, there are some significant holidays still to come this year. Alec Bradley's already looking ahead to St. Patrick's Day 2022 as the company has announced He has announced that its Filthy Hooligan Cigars will be returning for another release next February. Not the Filthy Filthy?

No, just Filthy. Just the Filthy. Just a little Filthy. The Filthy Hooligan line contains two cigars which feature barber pole designs.

The Filthy Hooligan barber pole uses Nicaraguan Habano and Candela for its wrapper, while the Filthy Filthy Hooligan Shamrock uses Nicaraguan Habano, Nicaraguan Habano Maduro, and Candela leaves for its tri-color design. There it is. I'm more excited about the Filthy Filthy. Both cigars use an Ecuadorian Sumatra binder, and fillers from Honduras and Panama, and are made in Oriente, in Denali, Honduras.

Both cigars are being released for 6x50 Toro Vitola, but pricing and production numbers are different between the two cigars. 15, with 2,000 boxes of 24 cigars being produced. 25, it's a little more premium, the extra filthy. We've added the extra filth.

But there's only 1,500 of those, 500 less because there's not so much Filthy Filthy. 1,500 boxes? Yes. 20 count sticks?

10. 10 counts? 10. Oh.

So you're only talking 15,000 cigars? The regular single Filthy is 2,000 boxes, 24 cigars. Ah. Filthy Filthy, not so many.

A little less. A little less. A little less. Cut it down a little bit.

Cut a little more though. Yeah. Now he's looking at the camera. Don't touch.

Don't touch the camera. I'm not touching anything. I'm not touching anything. The company made the announcement via Cigar Aficionado as part of an exclusivity arrangement and expected to make a formal announcement on a Friday afternoon.

A person familiar with the announcement confirmed the accuracy of the report. Oh, the filthy, filthy, and the filthy. I wonder who the person was familiar. A person familiar with the announcement.

Ah, yes, I am very familiar with all this. Very familiar with the filthy, filthy, so this is true. Where'd you get the article from, Half Wheel? Uh, no, no.

Yeah, it was Half-Wheel, but they quoted from Cigar Aficionado. Ah. Yes. Now, our friend Rick Ardito.

Oh. Do you know Rick Ardito? Yeah, formerly of Drew Estate, then he was at 724, and then he moved to Bugatti. Ooh, look at you.

He's new, now he's now been named the National Sales Director for Veritas Cigars. Rick Ardito is the new National Sales Director for Veritas Cigars. Congratulations, Rick. Ardito is a long-time industry veteran, best known for his time at Drew Estate.

In the last decade, he also worked at 724 Cigars, Bugatti Group, and Foundation. Oh, he was at Foundation. Foundation. Thank you very much.

That's why you said the article. The whole story just tweeted out of the Foundation. I've known, although this is him, do you know what he sounds like? Yeah, it's kind of like older New York.

I've known Joel B. Weber, owner of Veritas Cigars, for a number of years. No, that's definitely not it, but go ahead. Number of years and instantly.

It's kind of like a darker, like a deeper Jonathan Drew. So, that's where you got to go. Oh, deeper Jonathan True, because Jonathan True is up. He's up.

Yeah, but he's a... That sounds, that sounds like... Gaspinosa? Cowboy Eric Gaspinosa?

Cowboy Eric Gaspinosa. He has a visionary and culinary approach which you don't always see. He's unfazed by the process of procuring whatever leaf necessary to fulfill the blending vision. I've smoked lots of his sticks over the years and have always picked up on that inherent something extra quality that I always look for in cigars.

I'm speaking of that mysterious small batch artisanal flavor quality. When I received word concerning his recent factory expansion and his intention to grow the company beyond mainly a private label house, we began speaking and came to mutually beneficial terms. It means he agreed to his price. Yes.

I'm moving forward with Vigor, putting together the kind of team that'll support greater national distribution. So if you'd like to call us, Rick, if you're friends with Rick, he's looking for people. I have his number. We should apply.

" I don't know you. But I have your number. The factory, there's a lot of people that have my number. I've been at seven different companies.

I'm going to say the Rick's the type of guy he would play it at. " He's in sales, sure he would be. "How are you? " "Hey, how have you been?

The family's good? Everything's good? " "You have the kids? The dog?

" They're both dead. Oh, sorry. The Factory Arditos, referencing in Tabla Calera Nuevo Nicosueno, the Nuevo Nica SA, the company's factory, which opened in 2017. Yeah, look at you, Nica Sueno.

Sorry, I just always wanted to say Uncle Skip's company. Alright, now we got this story, only is it a Cigar Coupe exclusive? Did you hear about, you know, Todd Vance jumped again, too. Will you please not jump ahead?

Oh, that's another one. This is the next story. Oh, okay. Ruin everything, Michael.

Goddamn, I'm fucking good. Oh, good. I haven't seen any of this stuff. I just hit the gong and just...

Oh, no, man, I really fucked that up. Man, you really fucked that up? Oh, man, you really fucked that up, 'cause you ain't hitting the soundboard right. Well, I wasn't planning to jump into that next.

Oh, well, I was gonna do the magic one. Ah. Don't quote the dark magic. Oh.

All right, this is reported on Cigar Coop. Mike ruined it. Limitless Cigar Company, a new cigar brand, has announced that a cannaboyed-infused premium cigar... Just keep talking.

A cannabis-infused cigar is scheduled to hit the market in January 2012. It's part of its launch. The company also announced that it has hired premium cigar industry veteran. Do you like to say the name, Michael?

Todd Vance. Yes, Mr. Vance is moving again. Do not quote the deep magic to me, which I was there when it was written.

We've known Todd since he was at, who was, Cornelius & Anthony, and then he went to HR, and he came in here when we had Hiroshi, that's good, and then from there he went to Stallone, went to Stallone, and we didn't hear anything about him other than he went to Stallone, and now he's making a pot cigar. Now we're in the cannabinoid business. Cannabis. Our mission is to forge a cultural partnership between Cigar Sophistication and CBG, CBM Wellness.

CBG, CBM Wellness. Data Company co-founder Dan Nero, in a press release, in hiring Vance, Nero noted, Todd is a natural choice for us, we got a great deal, he did, no, no, no, no, no, we got a great deal. Given his long history of building new cigar brands in the industry, he represents the integrity and work I think that we wanted associated with him. with a brand.

I don't understand how I haven't got an offer from one of these companies. Like, hey, you know what? We want you to run this. We're going to give you a big...

You've got to get in with one. That seems to be the trend. Then you just kind of jump around. Then you just jump around.

Like, I would totally... Not that this is how Mr. Vance does it. He's doing a half-assed job somewhere and the company starts sliding a little.

You jump jump. I'm out. This isn't working. This was not my fault.

This is not. And I have to go before it completely sinks. Let's see. But, like, I would be the guy.

I would totally do, like, a Ben Affleck type of an approach in Goodwill Hunting. " Fucking asking them for cash. Right. I'm just saying, you guys have better chances of me joining.

Get it up front. With at least, you know, 100, 200 bucks in my pie right now. Let's see. The company's goal is to deliver a world-class, top-shelf cigar with the added benefits of increased focus and sublime relaxation.

So they got the good pot. We got the goods. We got the goods. It's a tall order indeed, says Vance, but if you are smoking a cigar to relax, If you want a cigar to relax, then shouldn't you smoke a cigar that's truly relaxing?

I wish you would have to say, if you shouldn't smoke a cigar that's full of pot? If you're smoking some, relax? If you're going to smoke, relax. Don't you want to get high as fuck?

Come on. That should be their new slogan. Do you want to get high as fuck? Do you want the full experience?

Do you want to just smoke a cigar or do you want to get high as fuck? That's the promo right there. Limitless cigars represents the best and brightest in terms of tobacco and technology. Limitless.

I should say in cannabis. Cannabis. Cannabis and technology Technology The electronic Limits or something Maybe they have a pill After a thousand years Of cigar making After a thousand Whenever I hear Limitless I think of the movie With the With the pill Yeah With Bradley Cooper Bradley Cooper Yeah Robert De Niro Making only Robert De Niro was in too Yeah No Yes he was No he wasn't No He was up against somebody And he said Oh you're about to have A heart attack I'm telling you That was me That was after After I got the Moderna Let's see Flavor Tobacco It's like size and manufacturing styles. Limitless Cigars represents the natural progression in the next wave of great cigars.

Join us on our journey. That sounds like a, amen, join us on our journey. Join us on our journey, man, and embrace the evolution of cigars. State advance.

Fuck you both, Robert De Niro's in the movie. Cameo, it doesn't count. No, he's the bad guy. He's best known for sales and business development at companies such as AJ Fernandez.

Ah, AJ, that's probably where he met Spence. Oh, that is where he met Spence, that's right. AJ Fernandez Cigar Company, Cornelius & Anthony, because the story is, there was an AJ meeting, and Spence didn't show up, didn't, did, did, did Spence work at Cornelius & Anthony too? Yes.

Right, so I think, oh no, there was a Cornelius & Anthony meeting, and Spence didn't show up, Vance called him, and he was setting up HR with Hiroshi. Ah. I think that's how the story goes. Mm-hmm.

I'll see, La Familia Robana, Padilla, oh, we're good about Padilla cigar. Padilla. Ernie. Ernie Padilla.

And most recently, Stallone cigars. Stallone. All right. I'm very tired.

All right, Michael, here's our Florida story. I need special music, I think, for the Florida story. Some of these sounds very... Yeah, some kind of circus.

Something Disney-ish. Something circus-y. Right. All right, a Florida man was very busy Tuesday.

This is his past Tuesday. This is a very recent story. Florida man was very busy this past Tuesday after he went on what the Volusia County Sheriff's Office calls an impressive crime spree that involved at least four stolen vehicles and property damage. Oh my God, it's like Grand Theft Auto.

S. Highway 17 and Palmetto Avenue. Deputies discovered a stolen Ford F-150 truck stuck in the mud up to the tailgate. It's not going anywhere.

Body camera video shows no one was inside the truck and the deputy said it was stolen from Marion County. So he steals that truck, it's stuck in the mud. He parks it in the mud. Yeah.

I'm gonna just, whatever you're sneaking, I'm in the mud. While investigating the abandoned truck, deputies were flagged down by witnesses who reported two buildings were broken into and another Ford F-150 and forklift were stolen. Oh, and a forklift. Right.

He likes the Fords. Right. He likes the F-150s. He's obviously figured out how to steal the Ford F-150.

Right. So he steals the F-150 and gets stuck in the mud. Right. And as they're investigating that, these guys go, hey, hey, cop, cop, somebody broke in the building over there.

And they just took the forklift. They took the forklift. And the F-150. So if he crashed the F-150, he drives on the forklift.

He did. The forklift was driven around until it ran out of gas. Oh, my God. So he's driving around, forks, picking things up, moving things around.

Oh, I'm out of gas. So he steals another F-150. No, there's an F-150 over here. I thought I'd go get down.

He drove off, crashing it into the woods. The end of the woods. He's obviously a very bad driver. He's not good at this.

Very bad driver. But a great thief, apparently. Very good at stealing, not good at the escape. Yeah, great.

Hey, you know, he just needed a partner. He's like, hey, I need you to hotwire this F-150, I'll handle the driving. Debbie said the catalytic converter had been cut from the truck when it was discovered. He took the catalytic converter.

Can't you get money for those or something? I don't know. You know, I did see No Sudden Move, which is about the catalytic converter. Great movie.

Then deputies got another tip about a burglary in a stolen car. And it was another F-150. " They got another tip of a burglary stolen car. At the residence, oh, this is somebody's house, the victim said the suspect took the keys from the garage and a pair of shoes and stole a car.

So apparently he's been shoeless through this whole thing. He probably lost him in the mud, probably stuck in the mud, sunk in the mud when he got out of the stock truck. This is nice. Next, Devin, he's got another report theft, but it was a four-wheeler.

Ooh. So he's downgrading. He's up here. He's like, look, the truck is stuck in the mud, the truck is stuck in the tree.

Forklift ran out of gas. I just really need something. I need a four-wheeler, I think. I need something that I can successfully maneuver in the woods.

The owners of the- In the mud. Oh, and the owners of the four-wheeler were in the hospital with the coronavirus at the time of the theft, according to their daughter who was watching the property. Well, apparently she's not watching very good. The shoeless, mud-covered tree branch holding man.

Yeah, what'd you say? You know what, this is ATV? I'm just gonna leave it out. All right.

All right, another, another, they got another call. The deputies said they could hear the four-wheeler on his property while he was out spraying pesticides, so he's still hot-dogging around, still just driving around. They started following their tracks, according to the arrest report, and, uh, and did so, they found a man walking who asked if he could, if he could drink from the sprinklers. Is it okay if I drink from the sprinklers?

Yeah, I have a drink from the sprinklers. The property owner told them. Well, they probably want to know if it was reclaimed water or not. Well, they said there's poison in the water lines.

It wasn't safe to drink according to the person. The witness said the man took off running after their conversation. Deputies encountered Charles Harrington, 24, our new listener of the week, Charles Harrington. Charles Harrington?

You're correct, sir! Yes, 24, walking down County Road 3 after a neighbor reported him jumping a fence and lurking in the woods. All this stuff happens within 18 hours according to the Rush Report. It's a hell of a run.

He's a very busy man for 18 hours. You think he knows how to watch podcasts? Obviously, the cops in Pearson, there's only one. There's just one guy.

The one guy, he's going from crime to crime. He's like, alright, so what happened here? He's like, wait, what? Fuck, another one?

Okay, I'll be right back. To be clear, this is a very rural area, and foot traffic in these areas is unheard of. The arresting deputy wrote in the report, the Sheriff's Office released body camera footage of Harrington's arrest in one of the Ford trucks sunken down in the mud. When Harrington was stopped by a Volusia County deputy, the man said he had been swimming with his old lady in the body camera video.

Harrington said he knocked on someone's door asking for some water, but other than that, he didn't do anything. The deputy told Harrington the sheriff's office had been getting several calls about you. The keys to one of the stolen F-150s were found in his pocket. Never good.

Never good. Never good. Always leave the keys. Ditch the keys.

Could have thrown them somewhere. As well as a lanyard associated with another theft. Oh, he's wearing a lanyard around his neck. He's just collecting keys.

According to the report, later the stolen catalytic converter from the truck was found on the abandoned four-wheeler. So he's dragging this catalytic converter around with him. What are you doing with this, I don't know, I found it, I found it, deputy placed him in handcuffs and discovered there was an open warrant for Harrington out of Marion County, you gotta lay low on that shit, he's charged with three counts of unarmed burglary and three counts of grand theft auto for less than a hundred thousand dollars, nothing, nothing, well, it was counts of unarmed burglary, three counts of grand theft, two trucks and a four Yeah, so nothing on the forklift. You're probably the one with the truck.

Probably. All part of the same crime. Poor Mr. Harrington.

If you're looking for a job, you sound like a very industrious man, if you're looking for a job, contact us here at Cigar Hustler, ask for Greg. We could use a swing ship, person, too, you know. Right. Someone who knows how to get a vehicle when we need one.

Yeah, hey, we need this F-115 now. Okay, get your car, it's gotta be an F-115. But it sounded like he didn't really, there wasn't a lot to it, it just had a bunch of keys. Well, they found keys in his pocket from, oh yeah, the second, the second car he broke into, Yeah, it doesn't sound that creative.

'Cause he needed shoes. Really, really could go for a pair of shoes. Really go for a pair of shoes here, 'cause my feet are hurting from all the walking in the woods. Yeah, I don't mean to get ahead of myself, but...

And that's it! That's all you got. That's all I got. Hey, uh...

Pretty damn close. Shout out to Matt Hunt. He just got his appendix pulled. Mr.

Hunt had his tonsils taken out. Was it an emergency one? Yeah. Oh.

Yeah. So it was almost bursted. I guess, maybe it would have bursted. Oh.

Yeah. You know, it's serious. He's gotta be doing something. All that eating healthy is never good.

That's what I'm saying, a box of cereal a day. He's trying to keep up with that girlfriend who's the superhero lady. There's just no way. There's no way.

No, he's a big man. He can't keep up with that small girl with all the muscles. Yeah, and she's fucking... You should have proposed, Matt, you should have proposed when I told you to, because now you're damaged goods.

And now you're broken. Now you got no appendix. You're not going to want to. Now she's moving on to something.

You know, I'm going to get somebody that's more whole. Appendix-y. Yeah. You know, I'm just looking for someone.

I really like you for your appendix. I really like someone with the appendix produces bile and shit too, right, or something like that? Yeah, it's a non-important organ. Allegedly, allegedly.

You'd think there would be something in there. Yeah, I want somebody that's not concerned about their diet and, you know. Right, they can eat whatever they want. They can eat spicy food.

Yeah, you know. It's gonna be tough pushing that sauce, you know? It's insane. Oh, maybe it is.

Yeah, 188. We know what we're doing here. Yeah, we're doing a long time. Long time, long time.

Long time. It's popping up in my Facebook memories, you know. Oh, my name? Six years ago.

Six years ago. Three, four, five, niner. 17. 52.

I don't know. But that's it. That's all you got, eh? Plug the HVC thing one more time.

Hey, yeah, so we got the HVC event this Friday, August 27th. We're going to have a pig out here. Pig roast. It's going to be amazing.

Oh, should we do a little... She's not staying long. Oh. That's not it.

And he leaves. That's it. That's his cue. You didn't lose your ball, did you?

That's his cue. He's going to take his ball and leave. Mike dropped the mic. Okay.

Are we going to do a little mini show with Mr. HVC? We can try and plug him in. Yeah, do a little shorty that we had at the end?

Yeah, we can do it. That we do when people normally come in. You know, as long as you can add subtitles to YouTube. You can, there is a subtitle button.

He's been doing a lot of these lately because he's very famous now. He's always outpedaling. I like when he used to show up here in the beginning. Oh, below.

Yeah. Cigar. Dude, gotta give the guy credit. He's working hard.

He's trying to expand. He continues to grow. He's got his own building now and everything. He's got the office.

He's creating... He's got a Ford F-150. He's making cigars out of different factories. He's continuing to grow.

So, you know, kudos to Lorenzo. So, yeah, we can get him on here. All right. We'll do a little mini Lorenzo show.

A little mini. A little mini Lorenzo. You know what? The camera's more on that side.

I think you did it on purpose. Look at that arm. Yeah, I wanted it to be bigger. I look like a giant next to you.

You are a giant next to you. You're a giant of a man. Thank you, Michael. You're very sweet.

I just love you to death, Michael. I just want to touch your muscles. That's fine. Touch away.

Enjoy it. Your hands are nice and cold. They are, aren't they? They're cold, I know.

They took that last week with the shot. The Moderna and the fucking soul left. That was where, it's like ayahuasca, that's why you're throwing up. That was a vomiting.

You purged it all out, yeah. Oh, I'm taking Yohimbi now, too. Oh, yeah. Are you?

Yeah, is that bad? Can you take both at the same time? Yes. Are you sure?

Yep. Don't stay on Yohimbi forever. Do it. Is it bad, really?

It's not that it's bad, but you know, you can't stay on that stuff forever. I've only been taking it for a couple days. It's the same thing as the ashwagandha. Oh, really?

Because they were listed as two separate things. They are two separate things, but they do the same thing. Well, yeah, I was trying to double up. Yeah, I don't recommend that.

And that's what that cream they used to do on the back of your arms, doing that too, I'm just, everything's just, ah! You're doing, you're doing test cream? No, no, no, no, I'm not doing any cream. Dude.

Helping me sleep though. I took a couple of sleeping pills when I went, like I mentioned, oh, were there, were at the shot? Uh, yeah, with the shot and, but I quickly put them away. I don't want to get back on those again.

Put that down. Yeah. All right, everybody, it's episode 188 of a Cicara Hustler podcast! Stay tuned, oh no, you're not going to take this one plate, but we're going to do the- Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you, everybody. We'll talk to you later. Big yawn.

Big yawn for you. Bye. The Cigar Hustlers Podcast, its owners and its sponsors take no responsibility for the opinions or statements made by the talk show host or their guest. Statements or show topics are not necessarily the beliefs of Mike & Mike Productions or the podcast providers, and opinions between talk show hosts may differ.

It is not our intention to libel, incite, or hurt anyone's feelings. We invite you to write the show's host, Mike Szczevankewicz, with any feedback or suggestions that you have for their shows. These broadcasts are presented and made public as entertainment in the hope that they will be entertaining to the audience. This has been a Cigar Hustlers Podcast, a Mike and Mike production.

m. for all new episodes. Hi, I'm doing, I'm Hustoy Raw. Yeah, we just don't have to do a single, uh, single podcast ever again.

Perfect. I'm good, Mike and Mike. How are you guys doing? The Hojo, the...

Hojo! It's the Hojo! Demandre... He didn't even let him fuck it up all the way.

I gotta get past Hojo! I don't even have to try to hit the record. He's not even gonna try. We're gonna cover a lot of ground here, Mike.

All right. Try to keep up. That's a sign of a good podcast. There'd be like four cigars when I walked in a door.

All right, end this.

Show Notes

BDP reads his letter from the monastery welcoming him to the Man of the Church!  Mikey Does Sports with a voice?  and OF Maybe no Bueno??