194 Alligator Attack and so does Mikey

Episode Summary

Episode 194 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast opens with a long personal segment as Mike recounts taking his son Jax to the New England Patriots vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers game at Gillette Stadium — wearing Buccaneers gear in enemy territory, dealing with hecklers, buying a custom jersey, and going back to the rental car lot to recover a lost Patriots hat. The hosts also complain about how New England handled Tom Brady breaking the all-time passing record, and recap a weekend at Universal CityWalk's dueling pianos bar for the Boots and Palmer birthday party, including a bus hitting their car at Cabana Bay and Boots passing out in the bathroom after three hurricanes.

The industry news segment covers the FDA publishing its finalized substantial equivalence and PMTA rules — and why it still means effectively nothing for premium cigars while the National Academy of Sciences panel report is pending. Other stories: the Premium Cigar Association's Online International Policy Summit with Scott Pearson, Greg Zimmerman, and Senators Marco Rubio and Bob Menendez; Javier Estades re-elected chairman of the Cigar Association of America; Espinosa's Crema con Chocolate barber-pole release (Mexican San Andrés over Ecuadorian Connecticut, Ecuadorian Sumatra binder, Nicaraguan filler, 6x52 box-pressed toro, $10/cigar) exclusive to Fine Ash Cigars in Glendale, Arizona; Room 101's new "Thicc Lancero" 6.5x42 Farce Maduro from Matt Booth; Davidoff's Golden Band Awards; and Pete Johnson delaying the Tatuaje advent calendar to mid-2022 over packaging delays.

The back half rounds out with Cuba reopening to tourism on November 15 and its homegrown vaccine claims, the USPS service slowdown and rate increases starting October 1, plus the usual Florida-and-beyond weird news (an alligator attack on a woman who fell into a St. Petersburg canal, and a North Carolina woman hospitalized with cellulitis and septic shock from an eight-hour wedgie). Shop of the Week is Lake Country Cigars in Delafield, Wisconsin, and Listener of the Week is Andrew McCreary, newly retired from the U.S. Navy. The hosts close with Patreon smokes of the HVC 10th Anniversary and riff on Skip Martin, RoMa Craft, and the Neanderthal.

In This Episode

1. 01
   Patriots vs. Buccaneers Road Trip with Jax
   Mike recounts taking his son to Gillette Stadium in Buccaneers gear, handling hecklers, a custom jersey, and retrieving a hat left in the rental car.
2. 02
   Tom Brady's Record and New England's Response
   The hosts argue the Patriots showed no class in barely acknowledging Brady breaking the all-time passing record in the house he built.
3. 03
   Boots & Palmer Birthday at Dueling Pianos
   A recap of the CityWalk night out, a bus hitting their car at Cabana Bay, crashing a wedding at Bob Marley's, and Boots passing out after three hurricanes.
4. 04
   FDA Finalizes Substantial Equivalence and PMTA Rules
   Why the FDA's new guidance changes nothing for premium cigars until the National Academy of Sciences panel reports back.
5. 05
   PCA Online International Policy Summit & CAA Leadership
   PCA's virtual summit with Senators Rubio and Menendez, plus Javier Estades re-elected chairman of the Cigar Association of America.
6. 06
   New Releases: Espinosa Crema con Chocolate & Room 101 Farce Maduro
   Details on Espinosa's barber-pole Crema offshoot for Fine Ash Cigars and Matt Booth's 6.5x42 'Thicc Lancero' Farce Maduro.
7. 07
   Tatuaje Advent Calendar Delayed to 2022
   Pete Johnson pushes the 24-cigar advent calendar to mid-2022 due to packaging delays, releasing alongside the 2022 edition.
8. 08
   Cuba Reopening, USPS Slowdown & Weird News
   Cuba's November 15 tourism reopening and homegrown vaccine, slower and pricier USPS service, an alligator attack, and a wedgie-induced hospital stay.
9. 09
   Shop and Listener of the Week
   Lake Country Cigars in Delafield, Wisconsin gets Shop of the Week, and Navy retiree Andrew McCreary is honored as Listener of the Week.

Brands & Cigars Discussed

Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.

Transcript

Welcome to episode 194 of the Cigar Hustler Podcast. Still the number one... what? Oh, there it is.

I got it. I thought I forgot my letter. Still the Number One Cigar Show on Podbean, Michael. Still giving David Garofalo nightmares.

All about the nightmares. All about the nightmares. You too can become part of our podcast family and invest in our show. Put your products in front of thousands of listeners and viewers every episode.

We are heard on 12 different podcast providers weekly all around the world. to have your ad read in this spot right here. This spot, Michael, right here. Right here.

com. Woo! Go ahead. Hi.

Hi, how are you? I'm well. How are you? I'm fine.

Thank you very much. What do we got for the Patreon, this fine? I don't know. Something in your hand.

What did you do with them? The new HVC 10th anniversary. Yeah. Aw, it's so exciting.

Yeah, yeah, boy. Oh, we both have black shirts on today, no? Yeah, we're matching. No, you have the wrong one.

Oh, you have the wrong one. It's podcast day. No, you. Podcast day.

First, the show's late. Yes. Yeah, I don't know if we'll go up. The show is late.

This is Tuesday afternoon, so I don't know if we'll go up today or tomorrow morning. Is that why you asked if I was going to do it this morning? Well, I was trying to plan my day, yes. 7 grams.

It would have been better to do it before, and then... Because now I have a lot of work tonight that I have to do. I'm very sorry, Michael. No, I don't think you.

That's fine. You're all part of it. I'm not that sorry. All part of it.

So how was the game? You went to the game this weekend, took your oldest son, and your hoodie sleeves exploded, apparently, or something, when you put them on? Yes, I'll tell you a story about why I chose the hoodie sleeve. Too tight, you're just a massive man.

Well, you know, so... Snug. I want to do something special with my kids, like when they kind of get, when they're in that age realm of eight or nine years old, whatever the case may be, so I want to do, I want to take them to something special so they can do something so we can kind of create a memory, you know, something like that. Right, that would be nice.

And, man, Jacks is hounding me about this game, the New England Patriots-Buccaneers game. Buccaneers game, right. Yeah, so. Now, Tom Brady has won more games in the Patriots stadium than the Patriots.

Yes. Yes. Which is nice. And it's kind of funny.

So I originally wasn't going to do it. I'm like, damn, this is going to be too expensive or whatever. But I eventually put my big boy pants on and decided to make it work. So I took them.

I took them. We were there and back Sunday, 24 hours. We arrived Sunday morning, flew out Monday morning, the whole gamut. And originally when I had talked to him about wearing Buccaneers stuff to the New England game, I had said, you know, people are going to be shitty to us, and they'll give us a hard time, and we should probably just wear, well, I'm a Patriot fan, and a Buckner fan, so what's the big deal?

Showing your arms would keep people yelling at you? So I'll wear Patriot stuff. And then after I kind of thought about that, I realized that I pretty much told my son that it, you know, we should be afraid and it's okay to be afraid, right? It's like, you know, kind of go with the flow, and I'm definitely not okay with that, so then I thought, all right, well, fuck these people.

Yeah, fuck that guy. I'm gonna wear the team that he wants us to support, and it was the Buccaneers. Right. So I went in with my Michael Strahan fucking sweatshirt without the sleeves.

So did it come without sleeves? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Everybody's assuming you cut them off.

No, no, it's designed that way. It's designed that way. I'm going with you, cut them off. No.

And, you know, what's funny is you can hear people talking shit. Like, you know, quiet. I'm probably like, I'm gonna grab them without the sleeves. So, you know, a couple people were like, you're gonna, one guy came up to me and goes, He goes, you know, you're going to freeze your ass off, you know, in the stadium.

I'm like, I don't, I don't think I'm going to freeze my ass off. No, you didn't have to because it rained. Yeah, so one person, I heard people chatting about it, like, oh, well, you know, he's, that guy's fucked because it's going to be, it's 100% chance of rain. And I heard them saying that, I'm like, oh shit, it's going to rain now?

Why didn't you buy a poncho? And that's what I did. Right. So I went to the, we were in the pro shop, and I was like, do you have ponchos?

Like, yeah, we have two left. I got the last two in the fucking stadium. Oh, wow. Sleeveless poncho?

Sleeveless poncho, yes, totally sleeveless poncho. You have scissors, sir, I need to cut off the sleeves. But, you know, what's really kind of remarkable is... Massive arms.

You know, people are assholes, Michael. So, I'll tell you a couple quick stories about it. First, I have a couple questions. Okay, go ahead.

Who took all the photos? Well, that's where I was going with the first talk. Oh, there were you going, okay. So, every time I'm taking a picture, I have other pictures where I'm holding the phone.

Right. And I'm doing pictures like this. Right. All right, so one guy again, I'm trying to get the Gillette Stadium in the background, stuff like that, and this bigger guy, this big gentleman comes up to me and goes, do you want me to take, he's wearing his fucking Patriots garb, his Kronkowski shirt or whatever, take your phone.

And he says, um, you want me to take a picture for you? You want me to take pictures of you and your son? And I looked right at him and I go, are you gonna fuck with my phone? And he's like, uh, no, no, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not gonna fuck with you.

He goes, I'm pretty sure that you could run me down. So, no, I'm not. I'm like, oh, okay, cool. So he was very nice, and he took the photo, and he took great photos.

He even did a portrait photo, too. He goes, I even took a portrait of one. I'm like, oh, thanks, man. That's very nice of you.

You know, because they don't know that I'm both fans. I'm fans of both. I'm flat out wearing buck shit. Buck stuff.

And then another. One of you should have wore bucks. One of you should have wore Patriots. Maybe that would have lightened the crowd.

Yeah, but I don't want to. But there, and again, I didn't want to offset anybody. Like, fuck that. I mean, Jax had a sweatshirt, a Patriots sweatshirt, that he wound up putting on later, but he went in in Buccaneers gear.

Buccaneers shirt, right. Well, nobody's gonna say anything to the kid, though. You'd be surprised, man. You're a big man, nobody's gonna mouth off to your kid in front of you.

The last time I was in New England, at a New England game in 2007, my friends who were Chargers fans took us there, and somebody fucking cut the wiring off of their jumper cables, so that when you go to use it again, you get shocked. Oh. Yeah, people are dicks. Wait, what were their jumper cables doing up?

The person said, "Hey, my car's dead. " Oh. So, yeah, people are fucked. Oh, but not because he was a Charger fan, just because he's an asshole.

No, because he's a Charger fan, they cut his fucking wires. Oh. Yeah. You know how they-- He's a Charger fan, let's borrow his jumper cables and fuck with him.

And then we'll cut the rubber off, yeah, yeah. Like, people are douchebags. Wow. So, I had that mentality of if somebody approaches me, if I have to kick somebody's fucking ass, I'm gonna kick somebody's ass, you know?

But I didn't. He's arrested. Here's what it is, he'll come with me. I don't know if the police are going to send him to a childcare thing or whatever.

" He's so angry. " So angry all the time. " So he took some pictures, great pictures. Right.

I, so you could see Drew Brees and the other commentators down there, so I picked Jax up. so that he could see him over people and then people like you know do you want us to get down so you can see and blah blah i'm like no that's cool man thank you very much so people were cool we get up to our seats because we're on the fucking rafters right you know because seats are fucking expensive yeah well daddy we're not sitting down here but yeah he's not yeah wait wait wait wait wait wait wait a second what what happened i'm used to people not being in front of me yeah how how is this yeah i was like hey look man i'm gonna catch a ball and everything It is what it is, man. So when we... Are we at the game still?

No. I mean, you could still see the game. I think I see the players. Come on, man.

Is that Brady or Brody? I can't see that far. Did you see the Coop's like, hey, oh, ooh, full podcast coverage. Yeah, full this.

Go on the podcast. Here you go, Coop. Here it is, Coop. Blow by blow.

He's got minute by minute. So we're up there, and then, of course, Jack's like, I got to pee. I'm like, okay. So we get in line to pee, right?

Right. " Maybe he was really giving you a tip. No, he wasn't. Without question.

How do you know? He's looking to fuck me up. So he's looking to make my day miserable. You know, because that's what people fucking do.

I don't know. So far, everybody's been nice. Yeah. The old man's not giving you a tip on a secret bathroom?

No. Are you out of your mind? Why would there be a secret bathroom? Because it's an employee bathroom.

Why would I be able to go to an employee bathroom? Because, you know, it's there. They don't check. At the concert, you're in somebody's meeting room or something.

No, so then once the guy realized that he knew that he fucked up, he tried to backpedal into, you know, like, oh, well, you know... He's trying to help me. Yeah, you know, I just, you know, he was trying to be good to kids and, you know, I'm like... No, you're fucking not.

Maybe he was. We didn't take a phone call already? No. So, um...

So yeah, so fuck that guy. Now, eventually we had to put our ponchos on. So when people saw us in our ponchos and they saw this little kid and the shit was crowded, people were very nice. But we're rooting for the Bucs.

So when there's a play in the, you know, going down, when we're in our seats, we're cheering. And Jax is louder than me, which I was very impressed about. Are you on the visitors or the home side? We're on the visitor side, but it doesn't matter.

It's all New England. I mean, I would say there's probably 20 Tampa Bay fans there, you know. That's a long way to go. We don't like the cold.

Yeah, no shit. " And if you're in Boston, you don't belong, and you're not a Patriot fan, you're not a real Tampa fan. " But I let it, you know, like all that shit, I let it go. I was like, I'm not going to start any shit.

I'll let this idiot chirp. I'm not getting arrested. I'll let him chirp. I'll let him chirp all he wants.

I leave tomorrow morning. I can't possibly make court and the Blaine itself. So, you know, I kind of let him rattle off, and it didn't stop us from cheering and yelling and screaming, and we had a great time. Good deal.

You know, and I'm going to tell you right now that the way that New England kind of addressed Tom Brady breaking the record, fucking no class. No class. What did they do? Were they booing him?

I heard there was some booing. No, they cheered him at first, and then they booed him. But the stadium themselves, the team, they should have honored this guy by breaking the record. They just said, hey, Tom Brady broke the record.

I mean, when Peyton Manning broke the record, fucking horses came out because he was a Bronco. Shit was nuts. When Drew Brees broke the record, he was honored at another stadium. I mean, this is the house that Tom built.

They left. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Yeah, you should.

That's that old man who's trying to get you to pee in the closet. Yeah, no shit. Fuck that guy. Fuck that guy.

" He tried to kick my ass. My blood pressure went up, I thought I was gonna pass out, honey. I thought this could've been it. Harper, you're such a nice man, I don't know why he had a problem with you.

That guy was not a nice guy. I'm gonna tell you right now. You're a nice man. " He's just trying to make you get out of line.

Well, then you just come back in line. And you got to go back in line. You got to go right in front of the old man. There's no bathroom there.

Hey, you motherfucker. You just have Jack's pee in the bucket in the storage room. Hey, my son's about to piss on your leg. How's that sound?

Well, you should have done that. How about I just avoid the problem? Yeah, maybe it could have been so much faster. There's no bathroom there, Michael.

I don't know. I've never been. Dude. You got to know when you're being duped.

I think you're very cynical and very... My man was duping me. Well, first of all, I'm going to be very protective of my son. Well, yeah, but it's not like he was going to go down there where all the hookers are.

How do you know if I open that door, maybe I would have gotten in fucking trouble? Eh. You're already going to fight. Let's open that door.

Well, you know what? If you weren't supposed to open it, it probably would have been locked. Maybe. Maybe.

Maybe the man had the key, too. Psst, here's the key, too, for the bathroom. Just go down there, say, "Venny Sanchet" be fine, don't worry about it, "Venny in the Bathroom". Trying to leave that place is crazy.

I would imagine, it's like an A stadium, though. No way, man, I can get out of fucking Tampa Stadium, no problem. 15-20 minutes. Maybe you leave early.

No. I don't know. I don't leave early. I don't go to sports games, I don't care.

I have no problem, I get to my car, I go. This is low, it's concerning me, I hope this is recording. Oh, good. I mean, we have the camera as a backup.

Right, yeah, if that's career, who knows? Yeah, who knows? Who knows at this point? Uh-oh.

It's plugged in. Okay. So, we should be sure. I had to bring a new extension key cord today, too, for something that we tried last week that didn't work.

Yeah. A broken light. We still have a broken light. We still have a broken light.

Um, what else did we do? We ate like the old oyster house and stuff, or, you know. Have oysters? Uh, no.

New England clam chowder. New England clam chowder. Oh, the white. Yeah, yeah, the white.

Yeah, the right's terrible. Don't ever eat the right. The Manhattan? Don't ever eat that.

It's terrible. It's spicy and everything. So, you know, he tried to do some historic... Did you get a lobster roll?

No. He tried to do a little historic things, but you could tell that he was like... Did you get a cheers? No, no.

We went to Fenwell Hall and stuff like that and, you know, walked around a little bit. Did you go to MIT? Show him where he was going to go to college? No, I didn't show him Harvard.

MIT. Harvard? MIT is there. Harvard.

Isn't MIT there too? Isn't Harvard Boston? I don't know. I don't know.

Harvard. I know MIT is. I've seen MIT there. I think he wants to be a Gator.

We'll see. Oh. I'd prefer he stayed local anyways. Well, UCF.

But, you know, what's really kind of crazy, though, too, is when you take that type of a trip is, you know, especially with a young kid, you're really kind of on full alert all the time. Oh, yeah. And it's very mentally exhausting. Right.

Because it's just, you know, you have this thing. Right. You can't replace. Right.

lose it right and deal with your wife and you're on so you're on constant high alert wherever you go you know it's like okay you're gonna walk with me you know like knock on wood i never lost any of the children right right i mean they're older now but they have more chances of losing me but yeah yeah when they were young i never i never lost a child i sort of yeah take that as a proud parent moment that i because people lose the kids all the time in stores and everything yeah you know I mean, shit, it's, uh, it's, it's, I can only imagine, like, taking your kid to Disney and, you know. Oh, and losing him at Disney? Well, I mean, imagine, like, doing a whole week stint at the theme parks. Oh, and having to be, yeah, but usually not by yourself.

Usually there's two of you. That's true, but the bigger fuck up there is when you think somebody else has them covered and you don't. Well, yeah, I never, I never relied on the other one, right. Well, I mean, I can totally rely on Brittany for any of that sense.

" - You had one job! - One job! Take him to the bathroom! - God damn it!

- No, he went in by himself, and then he didn't come back out. - He didn't come back out. - He can't do that nowadays. - Yeah.

- Hope you blindfold him. Take him in with the mother. - When I tell you to pee, pee! - Not now!

- Stop! Stop! So, um, but yeah, oh, and then, so we go to the airport. But, you know, and I got him a Patriots jersey and, you know, a Patriots hat and stuff.

Right. " Oh, no. " Well, that's gone. God damn it.

It would be if it was any other dad. You went back and got him. " So we went, we got back on a shuttle, back on a bus, drove all the way back to the rental car. Went back to where we dropped off the car, opened the hat, opened the hat, opened the hat, opened the hat, opened up the car, boom, hat.

Hat. Ooh, yeah, I would have wrote that thing off. I did at first, and then I was-- You're right, hat's gone. " Yeah, you'd get it there at the airport.

No, you can't. Sure you could. They didn't have New England stuff there, I didn't see any of it there. Maybe you just didn't see it.

Maybe. " I'm like, "You know what? " No, what was that? 40 bucks?

That was less than that. I bet you we can fix this problem. I'm writing that off. I went back and got that motherfucker.

Made his day. Well, I bet it did. I think we wouldn't have missed a plane, though. I knew I had time.

But it was amazing, man. Yeah, he had a good time. It was amazing. Creating memories is what's really important, you know?

Yeah. Because one day I'm gonna be dead. Yeah, probably. " It's really disconcerting.

I don't know what's going on. " He was a bad motherfucker. Here's the eulogy. " He was next level.

He was angry, yelled at some old man, tried to give him a shortcut on the bathroom. Anybody came at us and broke some faces. So, it was good, man. I had a good time.

I had a good time. Got some little presents for the other kiddos and stuff. Yeah. What'd you get, Daddy?

Like a Boston mermaid. Oh. Which had, like, a little lobster under there. So she loves it.

Justice, I just got him a wrestling figure, an action figure. That's what he wanted. Right. What am I going to do, bring him back something from Boston?

He's like, pfft. There's no Boston wrestling figures? He said, are you going to bring me another championship belt? And I said, no, I'm not going to bring you another championship belt.

But then I can be the Boston champion, Dad. I'll get you an action figure or something. And the New England heavyweight champion. So I got him a little wrestling figure.

Oh. Yeah. Did you get that at the airport? No, I got that at Target when I was here on the way home.

Oh! Didn't even get it from New England. Nah, you didn't eat it. He don't care.

No. He doesn't care. She got him some clam chowder. Jax was not a fan.

He didn't like the clam chowder? He was not a fan. Was it the clams? Because they're a little chewy.

I don't know. Okay, so I can never get this kid to try anything. So you got to throw a wager out there. I'm like, just try it.

I don't want to try the clam chowder. Just try the clam chowder. You try the clam chowder, I'll buy you something at the game. And he's eating it, and you can see him eating it, and he's like, he's trying, he's like gonna gurg it up, I'm like, dude, you gotta swallow and drink some water, let's go.

If it comes up, you're not getting shit. You ain't getting a goddamn thing. He's like, okay. I'm like, you wanna try another bite?

No! No, you said just the one! Well, if you eat two, you also get the jacket. I mean, he was already getting whatever the fuck he wanted, let's be honest.

Right, but he didn't know. Yeah, he had no idea. He didn't know this way it worked. He pressed it, though.

Right. He's like, ooh, I can get a custom jersey. I'm like, yes, you can get a fucking, you son of a bitch. Yeah, yeah, you can get a custom jersey.

So I get, you know, got him a custom jersey, and then after I got the custom jersey, then... Custom jersey at the game? Yeah. What, did they put his name on it?

Yeah, his last name. Ooh. Yeah, big commitment. Like, sir, you've exceeded the limits.

It's gonna be additional. Yeah, we don't give you that many letters, sir. I asked him, I'm like, is this gonna be a problem? He's like, no, we'll make it work.

I said, okay. Does it, like, go and then down and back? No, it's just a little bit smaller than everybody else. Oh, they've different sized letters?

Yeah. Oh, that's nice. Just a touch. They only had the one size, so it's like hyphen.

No, they had a beautiful cutter there. Oh, nice cutter. Oh, pre-cut. They cut them right there.

Oh, on the spot. I said, how long is this going to be? And he goes, I'll do yours right now. Just sit tight.

You got the $2,000 cutter, didn't you? They had a nice roll in them. You got the good one. You got the good one, didn't you?

I have to hit mine with a hammer to get it to work. We got the shitty ones here. Where the stickers are all fucked up, all kinds of stuff. God forbid we should spend 2k on it.

No, we're not, you know, not the New England Patriots. Yeah, so, yeah. And then as we're leaving, that's when he hit me with the hat. It's like, you know, I really want that hat.

That hat would be nice. I was like, you know what goes good with a custom jersey now? A hat. You know what would go well with something that I'm never gonna wear is this hat.

Right, this hat. I really want this hat. That he likes so much he left it in the real car. " Is that it too?

How about gloves? You need gloves? I think we need gloves. Anything else?

What about a hoodie? I mean, where are we at? Pants? Do they make Patriot pants?

I'm sure they do. Where are we at on this? We almost ate the whole first half of the show. That's good.

I didn't kill anybody either. Come on, I didn't kill anybody. He came close with the old man with the bathroom. Fuck that guy.

If I knew that, I would have had a different poster for this week. Well, a different poster. Well, we all went out Saturday night for the Boots & Palmer birthday at the Dueling Pianos. We did.

Yeah, that was a lot of fun. That was amazing. That was a lot of fun. We were waiting to check in, somebody hit our car, the bus hit our car.

Yes, that's amazing. That's what happens at Cabana Bay. We got four different phone calls, filled out a form with the security team, three people from Mears called us, finally the last guy called, wanted her to go back to the car again. And we'd already been, we'd already been going through this for over an hour.

Really? Maybe longer, right. " She goes, "My husband, like, talked to you. I go, "We're not going to the car again.

We filled out paperwork already with the hotel. We've taken pictures. It's raining now. " Right, I'm drawing the line here.

This is already too much. Right. This is more than it's worth to me. So, no, we're done.

You're done? Yes, we're done. And I hung up. I saw the car on Sunday when we left.

I couldn't even see where the bus hit the car. All right, that's fine. It's right there, and you know, she can see it right away, right? Right.

I'm pulling my sunglasses down. Oh yeah, you can't see anything. I know, yeah. I'm like, I'm so glad I didn't come back here.

If I would have walked up here with that guy. Right. And that would have been it. Oh no.

Yeah. Right. You should have comped your room. They comped it.

Yeah, you'd think they would have. No. But we got free breakfast, which we didn't eat. Woo.

Yeah. And we didn't pay for parking. Yay. The arm was broke anyway.

Nobody paid for parking that weekend. Yeah. So it was covered. Right.

It was covered for everyone. Drive through the... Right. Still, we had a good time, and then everybody took off and left after the thing.

You had to go somewhere, and Greg and Boots had already gone. Well, I was getting on a plane. Right, right. In a few hours.

No, you had to go the next day. We went to the karaoke place right across the way. Oh, you did? Yeah, we went to the karaoke.

Boots was done. Boots was done. Yeah, he left at like 10-something or whatever. I saw him waddling away.

No, it was around 11 o'clock. Oh, was that when he left? Yeah. All right.

Tia was trying to manage him. It had to be before that because we didn't walk around for... We walked around for more than an hour. We left at 11:00.

Oh, really? I left at 11:00. Wow, we did a lot in an hour then. Yeah.

We got back to the room maybe an hour and a half. We got back to the room by one. Yeah. So we go over there, downstairs completely packed.

Of course. " So we take the elevator upstairs, we pop out, and then the guy with us, Jeff and Becky, our friend from North Carolina, he said something to one of the waitresses or something. Yeah. She walks us over to this reserve VIP table, clears the table from the people that are sitting on it, wipes the table down, sits us at this table.

Nice. And brings us this giant crystal carafe of water. And he's crystal glasses and sets us up right there at the table. And we're sitting there for a few minutes going, who did you tell him we were?

He goes, I don't know. I'm drunk. I don't know what I said. So we had VIP seating there.

We didn't stay long. Nobody wanted to sing. So we left. We went over to Bob Marley's, which was, I guess, back behind.

Yes. Yes. There was a wedding going on there or something. It was this lovely black family, all dressed in white.

Oh, I got to tell you something about some of the people leaving the Bob Marley party. We were the only white people in there. Yes. Yes.

I like that. The aunt was there, or the auntie, or whatever they call it, she grabbed me and started dancing, I think Adrian danced with the groom. Nice. You're just a wedding crasher.

Look at you. Oh, they love this. Of course. You cannot make this shit up.

We are the only white people in here. These people are having a ball. Yes. Right.

Of course. I mean, you're fucking magnificent at weddings. We did that for a little while, and then we went and ate Chinese food. Oh, you went to...

Pandora, whatever. Yeah, it was the only thing open, by that point. By that point. And then back to the hometown.

All right. So let me break down a couple of things that you haven't talked about at this. How much time do I have? I got four minutes.

Okay. So first of all, I had a great time. Yes. It was a commitment though.

Like we got there at what? 6? 6:30? Yeah.

Okay. Come 11 o'clock, I'm a little tired of fucking sitting in a single chair listening to the piano. Wait, we've seen people... Well, you weren't drinking.

We've seen people rotate over and over again. Right. The first people were on, then another batch of dueling pianos come on, then the other people came back. And when I came back, I'm like, holy, it's the same shit, you know, like it.

Well, yeah, it's all, it's all requested songs. Right, right, but it got a little redundant, like, I mean, can we get up and move around or something, you know? Well, it's not that type of place to get up and walk around. But there's tons of other shit you can do at City Walk.

Oh, you mean go to other places and stuff, yeah. I mean, I don't know how you guys just sit in one spot and sit. Oh, I didn't have a great time singing. I had a great time, too.

Right. I had a great time, too. You weren't drunk. I don't drink a lot.

Well, that's just it. You weren't drunk. Holy shit. Okay, so then we go to leave.

Right. And we're making our way, and we stop to smoke a little bit or whatever. And at the Bob Marley place, a couple comes out. Right.

A larger woman and her husband. Right. And she starts vomiting. Oh, my God.

Like, intense. So Brittany starts saying, hey, pick her hair. You got to pull her hair back. You know, like, you got to be a good.

Pulled her hair off her head. No, no, no. Oh. " I'm like, "No, you're not.

" Right. And then you're wrapped up in that. Like, I'm, you know, like, I'm over here going, I'm like, "You're not going over there. " You know, she has a husband.

You had an entirely different experience without Marley and I. Let's not step in on this, okay? So, then we start wrapping with the husband a little bit. He's a cool guy or whatever.

Security comes over to kind of help her out or whatever. And then she walks over to us, and she starts talking and she still has food in her mouth, and I'm like dry heaving, dry heaving, and Brittany's just talking to her, like oh my god, and I'm tapping Brittany, I'm like we need to go, we have to go, if not I'm going to be throwing up next to this woman. So I pull her away, and that's when we see Steve and Tia, and Steve's like, rah, hey, and he's kinda hobbling away. Trying to get to his room, right.

I sent him the video of me dry humping him after he was passed up. Oh, did you? Yeah. Apparently he got in a fight with the Uber guy.

Oh, I believe it, I believe it. He didn't have a mask, Uber guy wasn't gonna let him get in the car. Wow, that's nice. You know what's funny too, so he passed out in the bathroom.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so he passed out in the bathroom, and nobody, like Greg went in to go get him, but he didn't get him. He didn't get him. Right.

Because the door was locked. " Oh, he's in the stall. So yeah, so I walk in there, there's two dudes in the front of the bathroom, and I go boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And all of a sudden, you hear, like, somebody who was sitting on the toilet seat get up because it flushes.

Oh, yeah. And the door instantly opens. So that means that he was fully dressed. Oh, yeah.

Sitting on the toilet. Just sitting on the toilet. Fucking passed out. Oh.

And he comes out, he's like, "Hey, you good? " Like, "No, asshole. I came to get you. He doesn't handle his liquor too well.

For a big guy, he had three hurricanes, which he only remembers one of them. Mm-hmm. He did have three, yeah. " You know, what's kind of funny is like, so our spouses obviously know us play-by-play.

Right. " So he's gonna get it dumbed down, and then he's gonna drink a bunch of them. He totally fucked up. " Right.

So sure as shit, boom. There he goes. He gets messed up. All right, we got a break.

All right. All right, we got a break and we'll finish this. All right, welcome back to episode 194. We were getting caught up on Boots passing out in the bathroom.

For the Boots and Palmer birthday. Yeah, for the Boots and Palmer birthday extravaganza. It was, and I appreciate you guys moving the dates so I could go. Dueling pianos.

Very nice of you guys. Yes. So anyway, what now? So, you know, Boots is always trying to, the whole time he's trying to dance all up on you and shit like that.

Right. Well, eventually, this motherfucker passes out. He passes out at the table. I'm like, oh, now?

I didn't even see him pass out at the table. And now you're fucked. Right. Then I asked Brittany, I go, hey, record this for me.

And then I went all up on him and started dry humping him and dancing him and choking him and everything. I'm like, what's up now, bitch? Like, oh, it's all fun and games until you get tired. You get too drinky, drinky.

Someone had too much. So that was fun for me. Oh, good. But Brittany had a great time.

Oh, Brittany had a great time, yeah. Yeah, dancing all up on 80 King Palmer and shit, you know. Yeah, it was cool. It was cool.

I mean, she was very upset about Shoop. I'm like, I'm trying to explain it to you, I'm like, listen. They wouldn't play Shoop. They don't know Salt and Peppa Shoop.

They don't know Salt and Peppa Shoop. They just don't. This is two guys. Have you heard them sing any female songs yet?

Right, because Becky with us, she wanted to hear some Shania Twain song, too, that they didn't play. No. Yeah, something about I'm a woman or something. Like, I don't think they're gonna sing that.

Man, I feel like a woman? Yeah. Yeah. I could not see that happening.

No, I don't think so. I don't think so. It's an Irish pub. Right.

Yeah. I didn't even know that place was there. Oh. I had no idea that that place existed.

It's been there forever. I don't think it was always dueling pianos, though, because I've been there before without the pianos. Very cool place. Yeah.

Very cool place. I would go back there without question. I wouldn't stay there for five hours. Reservation.

You got a reservation. Yeah. I would make a rezo. I'd book a rezo.

Yeah. For sure. You'd have to go with a couple of people. If it was just you and your wife, it wouldn't be as much fun.

No. And that's a group outing. Yeah. All right.

You ready to move on? Yes. Let's get this show on the road. From the four corners of the world, all the cigar industry news you could possibly need.

The Cigar Hustler Podcast Report with Mike Toon. Dun, dun, dun. FDA publishes finalized substantial equivalency rule. S.

Food and Drug Administration, FDA, announced final rules for companies wishing to get FDA approval for tobacco products through the substantial equivalency or pre-market tobacco product application. -Application -Approval Pathways. -Oh. Both updates are aimed at trying to help companies get approval and the FDA more quickly process applications by producing better quality applications.

However, it is still unclear what this means to any premium cigars, at least for now. Yeah, no one knows. As the August 2020 court ruling, cigars are considered premium cigars, a definition that likely includes about every cigar sold in a humidor except flavored cigars. They're not currently subject to the current substantial equivalency FDA rule.

The FDA is waiting on a panel formed by the National Academy of Science to deliver a report about whether the agency should apply the current set of rules for premium cigars or use a different set of rules. The agency does not expect the panel to deliver its findings until next year, meaning today's announcement means absolutely nothing. Nothing. They can't decide what a premium cigar is.

" Right. " "You know those pots and pans? " Hold them pots and pans, please. Hang on tight to your pots and pans 'cause we're gonna fuck 'em up.

Alright, the Premium Cigar Association to host Online International Policy Summit. Okay. Premium Cigar Association has announced that we'll be holding an Online International Policy Summit that will bring together cigar makers, legislators, and dignitaries to discuss a range of issues facing the industry with both domestic and international content. The event is scheduled for October 6th and is being held in collaboration with Light 'Em Up World.

Light 'Em Up World will kick off the keynote address by Senator Marco Rubio and Senator Bob Mendez, as well as opening remarks from Scott Pierce, executive director of the PCA, he calls here every once in a while, along with Greg Zimmerman, president of the PCA and Reinhardt, somebody of Light 'Em Up World who will be moderating the event, there will also be some addresses for some other people from other countries, both will appear via Zoom because flights are expensive and the PCA still needs the money. In addition, there will be two panels of which will discuss impact of cigars on the global commerce and trade, with the other housing on global impact of the cigar industry, charitable, and social contributions. , you can be viewed on the PCA's Facebook page and YouTube channel. Attendees are encouraged to submit questions via the Facebook page event.

Nice. All right. Javier Estradas once again elected the CAA chairman. Uh-huh.

Javier Estratas is once again the chairman of the Cigar Association of America. The trade group has announced. He's also the CEO and president of Double Clear USA, the parent company of Altidus, JR Cigars, and others. He's been elected to the third term.

He previously served as CA chairman for 2016-2020. So, I didn't know there was a CAA. Isn't that... No, they're CRA.

They're not the CAA? They're PCA. Now, apparently, there's a CAA. I thought that was a CRA.

No, it's different. I thought that they changed it. Nope. The CAA started in 1937 as Cigar Manufacturers of America.

Although the group claims its roots exist prior to 1900, it represents both premium and mass-market cigar manufacturers as well as importers and suppliers. In the 1900s. " "No wonder nobody can figure out what the fuck's going on. " They got there on their saddles.

They got there on the horses. I'm sorry, we don't handle that, you need to contact the CAA. You know, we should get together and call this a group. Right, why don't we start a group, Michael?

We are a group. What should we call it? The CASD. CASD?

Yeah, the Scar Association of Slaptics. Oh, very nice! Yeah, absolutely. I nominate Skip Martin as president of the CASD.

He doesn't want the position. It's not lucrative enough. Honorary. It's a charitable organization, it's a Class C or whatever the fuck it's called.

A 501c3? It's a 501c3. It's a non-profit organization. Non-profit organization, so we just need him to be figured out.

Ooh, let's do some dry begging GoFundMe. Right, ooh, we'd like to introduce the GoFund, we'd like to raise $60,000 in two days. Yeah, and no, one day, we can do it one day. Oh, one day, we can do it one day.

Everybody, please donate now. Hit the button. Hit the button. We could use new cameras.

And a light. We need a light. We need a light for the C-A-S-D. Espinosa Crema con Chocolata, heading to Fine-Eyes Cigars, Fine-Eyes Cigars in Glendale, Arizona, very nice people, Rosie and Sam.

Ooh, we mentioned that, they were our Retailer of the Week. Yes, they're getting a variant of Espinosa's Crema line that is dubbed Crema con Chocolata, it's just his chocolate, but I like Chocolata. Chocolatae. Chocolatae, Crema de Chocolatae.

Do the addition of a Mexican senator's wrapper to the Crema's Ecuadorian Connecticut leaf to create a barber pole design. Oh, yes. That looks very nice. I like that.

Underneath those wrappers is Ecuadorian Sumatra Binder Nicaraguan Fillers with the finished cigar offered at 6x52 Box Press Toro. When did they drop? Did they drop already? If you will wait.

I can't wait. I can't wait. It is priced at $10 per cigar and offered in a five-pack bundle with 500 of those bundles produced at AJ Fernandez San Latino Factory. Same place that made the bangerang.

Oh, interesting. Right. I've heard good things about that cigar. When he meets Sam and Rosie, Erik will go, these are the chocolate people, and he'll go, oh, this is chocolate, chocolate, chocolatey, chocolatey, chocolatey, chocolatey.

Finanash will be releasing the first 250 bundles of cigars to members on October 1st, so that's already dropped. Okay. With 200 bundles being offered to the public at an event on October 9th, with Erik Espinosa scheduled to be in attendance. Bro, bro.

He called me by the banger and he's like, bro, I'm smoking this thing. God damn it, this isn't powerful. Thanks, man. Thanks, bud.

Thanks, Harry. We have the phone in there. We have the phone in there. We have the phone in there.

We have the phone in there. We gotta let it happen. I think you would've taken it with him. Yeah.

Son of a bitch. I think somebody would answer it. I mean, you'd think. Fine Ashes owner Sam Lopez told Halfwell he's hanging out of the remaining 50 bundles but didn't go into it specifically about the plan for them.

Are we gonna get some of them? I'll hit 'em up. I'll buy some from 'em. We would like to buy some of those, Sam.

Get a fiver from you. I'm rosy. With extra ice. With extra ice.

Yeah, they will consider making any bundles remaining after the event available for purchase via the store's website. site as well as there might be more produced in the future, including a change in packaging to a 20-count box. Hey, how about that? This is the second offshoot of the Crema line.

This also uses a barber pole design. In September, the company added the Crema da Laranja, which uses the wrappers from the company's Crema and Laranja lines, and an Ecuador and Connecticut leaf with a Brazilian grown leaf respectively. Underneath that is a mix of Nicaraguan fillers found in each cigar in Nicaraguan binder. The original Espinosa.

So it's not undisclosed? It's not sophisticated yet? It's not sophisticated. Unpretentious, no.

Complicated, yet simple, none of that, no. Complicated, yet, the wrapper is complicated, yet simple on the palette. We should, I can't wait for the next one. We'll start working for the descriptions now.

Oh boy, this is going to be exciting. Room 101, previewing new Farce Maduro size this month, Michael. Uh huh. We're not getting those either, it's a shop exclusive.

What are they doing? Farce Maduro, a new size. Room 101's Farce Maduro line is getting a new size, and as the box says, It's a Thick Lancero, D-H-I-C-C. Oh.

Thick Lancero. It's a 6 1/2 by 42 Vitola, which would technically make it a Longsdale, but as he's done before, Matt Booth is taking some creative liberties with the name. Can you imagine the fucking... can you imagine the meeting of...

You know, why buy stuff from a dick? I agree, why buy stuff from a dick? Because it's probably a good cigar, so I would buy... Can you imagine the meeting of the Cigar Association and the Slabdicks?

Like, here, here, call forth this meeting. Call forth this meeting of the Cigar Association. Imagine if we could get, like, one of the platforms at the PCA, like, you know, we're gonna have a speaker, we're gonna have the speakers from the CASD, you know, we don't tell them what it stands for, yeah, oh yeah, no, it's Cigar Association, yeah, it's another way, we're, we could change it around, we will give you 20% of all the money we raised for our CASD, yeah, we'll go and have these with you, yeah, we're close to the anti-vaxxers of the, the Griller Association, as well as the ferrets, yes, ferrets, very popular ferrets. No animals with COVID this week, I was very disappointed.

Damn it! They got tired of shoving fucking cotton balls on people's noses. See, Buzzel Brewery, the new size, and a batch of 101 10-count boxes that he's bringing October 9th of in at the Cigar Chapel in Bend, Oregon. Okay.

Oregon, that's like, wait, Oregon? Fuck over there. Yeah, what the fuck? Well, he's from LA, so that's, boop, just right.

He's right there. I feel like he's up there a lot. In Oregon? Yeah, or Washington, I don't know, it's the same thing, right?

I don't know. Who knows? This is one big, you know. I have no idea.

It's all over-regulated, whatever it is. Alright, Michael. Davidoff announces the 2021 Golden Band winners. There is a contest?

Yes. Apparently. Okay. Davidoff AG has announced most of the winners of its annual Golden Band Awards, which recognizes Davidoff's top performing retailers based on a number of different metrics.

Okay. But since we don't really care about that, we're gonna do something else. Yeah, this made the fucking news. I mean, this is definitely Charlie's shit.

It's all half-wheel. We're having the first ever, Michael, 2021 Postana Biggest Pea Award. Oh, the Biggest Pea Award. The Biggest Pea Award.

Where we recognize the companies that do business with Postana Cigars, they have the Biggest Pea, and they are supporters. Okay. The Biggest Pea Award. The Biggest Pea Award.

All right. The 2021... I don't see where I read that. In the category, for most peas bought by a retailer?

Yes. Which has a long ass. Ridiculous. Oh, sorry.

Oh, jeez. Famous smoke shop, Michael. Oh, okay. Very nice.

They, uh, they bought more peas than anybody else. They bought a lot of peas. They bought a lot of peas, those guys. A lot of peas.

I got a huge backward list from them, too. Well, then they want more peas. They need more of your peas, Michael. A lot of peas.

A lot of peas. So many peas. All right. Tatuaia Delays, Advent Calendar.

No, that's it. That's the only word. It's a very new show. Just a 1P.

It's a very small. But we'll get back to you on that. Very small award show. We'll announce more winners, then we'll inform half of them.

Right. Yes. Now we have... You know why?

You're just hitting the wrong way. Eating some vitamins. Now we have music for the award show. Oh, that's lovely.

Yes. I'm very excited about that. Let's see. What does Tatuaji announce?

They're delaying their 2021 advent calendar. Delayed. Till 2022. Damn!

Can you imagine? Right. Holy shit. I can't wait to get this at Christmas.

Yeah, this is gonna be awesome. Right. Everybody's excited about a PCA, and they're like, yeah, I'm not saying no. " All right, cool, thanks.

Pete Johnson's plan to release a Tatuaje advent calendar in his holiday season will have to wait a bit longer, as he told Halfwheel, that due to delays in packaging being produced, he will delay its release until mid-2022. So it'll be a summer advent calendar in 2022. Nice. At which point, it'll release alongside the 2022 version.

So, in mid-2022, you can buy the 2021 and the 2022. That's fantastic, and we can't wait. We can't wait. What the fuck is going on with all this COVID shit?

The calendar was scheduled to ship in November, so the consumers could have them in hand prior to start of December, but that looked increasingly unlikely with November Fest approaching. I decided it was best to slow down and focus on making sure nothing gets missed and it at least goes smoothly at the later days. " The calendar contains 24 cigars, 15 of which are core lines for the portfolio of Tatuaje La Atara Imports. See, but now here's where you fucked up.

Because now everybody, well, actually Oliva already did an advent calendar. I bet you... Somebody else has one coming out this year, too. I know Abe did one, too, like on a retail level.

Oh. But I bet you... Oh, there's a wine company that has one, too. Yeah, there's one at Costco that's got a wine company.

Oh, um, um... Uh, uh, uh, not Altis, what's the cheapy, uh, grocery store? ABC? No, it's sort of like Altidis.

Uh, uh, uh, Aldi. Aldi, Aldi, Aldi has got one out right now. Really? Yes.

Interesting. 24 little bottles of wine. I bet you that, oh, the ones at Costco got the big bottles. Oh, a little hard to drink a whole night in one night.

Says who? 24 nights in a row? Do you know? They're all different kinds.

No, you're not, no, you can drink a whole bottle of wine in one night. Yes, but could you do it consistently for 24 nights? I think eventually I'll have my wife call in. She's going to drink the same bottle though every night.

It's not the same thing. She's not down with the advent because if it's got whites and stuff in it, who wants it? That's what I mean. Yeah, that's not what you mean.

Yes. As you kill your screwball bottle. You can run through it one month. Uh-huh.

You can force down a bottle, or one night, but then, you know, Thursday is white wine night. You don't want to do that. Yeah. The following week, white wine is Tuesday, you know.

Okay. See, that's what I mean. It's not the same night. If it was the red she liked every single night for 24 nights, not a problem at all.

Nope. It's just a regular month. You better backpedal, bitch. It's a regular month for her.

Because you know. She'd be like, put me on. Right. On the phone.

Yeah, when she ordered that second bottle on Saturday night, the lady goes, another bottle? She goes, yes. Yeah. Well, yeah.

Just for you? Yes. Yeah, no problem. No problem.

The island of Cuba will fully reopen to tourism on November 15th. It doesn't matter. We can't go. Why can't we go?

S. has been banned. Oh, we can't go to Cuba anymore? Yeah, they stopped that.

You sure? Yeah, I think so. Who knows? I don't know.

The Ministry of Tourism has announced, as of this date, travelers with vaccination certificates or pre-travel COVID test results will no longer face mandatory testing upon arrival and will no longer have to endure a five-day quarantine at designated hotels while awaiting test results. Wow, good for you. The Tourism Ministry -- wait, wait, wait, you got to listen. Earlier this week, no, the Cuba -- well, no, because they did say you will have to get tested when you come back, if you come into America.

Okay. But, they have announced that 90% of the island have been vaccinated. This sounds like some South Korea bullshit. They made their own vaccine.

Really? It's a Cuban vaccine. Oh. They're trying to get it approved by the WHO, and they're going...

I don't know about this one. I don't know about this one. But we are Cuba. We are Cuba.

We make vaccine. You can't even get a part for your Chevy. Right? Yeah, who does that?

But you made a vaccine? You can't get a carburetor. carburetor. I have some questions.

Cuba. And 90% of the island and it's two-year-olds and up? Stop it right now. Yeah, I don't think they're asking.

No. I think people run, they haven't darted on. It's called communism. They don't ask.

On July 11th, also, the frustrations among the Cuban population turned into a manifestation of discontent as unprecedented public protests erupted. The first demonstrators took to the streets in San Antonio de Banos, a neighborhood on the outskirts of Havana, swelling in numbers as they marched through the streets, protesting increasingly desperate living conditions and the lack of civil liberties in Cuba. Cell phone videos of the initial marchers went viral by afternoon. Thongs, throngs, throngs?

Thongs, throngs. Thongs. They had thongs. They all had thongs on.

All the Cubans with thongs on began demonstrating in more than 40 cities across the island. How many cities do they have? At least 40. Over 40.

Yeah, over 40. Over 40. Most peacefully, some violent, voicing a litany of social, economic, and political grievances, The government moved quickly to quell the protests. One demonstrator was killed, dozens were beaten, hundreds were detained.

Yeah, that sounds about right, when they do fire into the crowd, like, eh, everybody disperse. Oh, we only hit the one. It's supposed to be a dark country, we're gonna vaccinate. That one's vaccinated, just say that one's vaccinated.

Come get your lead vaccines. Sysma struggles with their dire economic consequences of the coronavirus pandemic and far-skinned. I don't think I would go, even in November. No.

Especially after my comments, I probably wouldn't go to Cuba. Oh, no, looking for us. No, no, but I mean. Oh, Cigar House is a podcast.

We're all fine. We were vaccinated with Castro serum. What's in it? We don't know.

Cow semen. Coconuts. Cows. Coconuts.

A little sand, some salt water. I threw some shit in here. So it'll be fine. Fine.

You're all fine. You're all fine. You got the shot. You're good.

Now get back to work. Speaking of getting back to work, Michael, the USPS slowdown started on October 1st. I mean, what the fuck? The USPS will start a slowdown plan last week, this is an old story, which means that sending packages of mail across the United States through the US Polar Service will be slower and more expensive.

I don't get it. Not only are we slowing down, we're charging more. I just don't. What happened?

What happened? During the first, well, I'll tell you what happened, Michael. During the first three months of this year, 20% of first-class mail was delivered late. Now, its 160 million users will experience more obstacles according to CNET.

Starting October 1st, USPS is implementing a new service standard for its first-class packages. Delivery time for first-class used to be a package will increase 30%, so some letters, magazines, subscriptions, parcels they travel the longest will take up to five days before it arrives, instead of the usual three. Mmm, doubled. So if you've ordered a month club from Cigar Hustler, it's on its way.

Yeah, you may get it sometime between now and eventually. Right. Also, aside from the price increase implemented in August, the cost of ship packages of mail for the upcoming holiday season will increase start on October 3rd. Oh, nice.

Slower, more expensive. What a deal. All this sounds great to me. I love all of this.

All right, now we have a Florida story, Michael. Yeah. Oh, and then we have a very funny story. Okay, I just seen what we had left.

Okay. And then we have a shop of the week. We do. All right, Florida woman's tagline alligator falling into canal.

You got a listener of the week? No. Why not? I have the name for another one.

Okay. Okay, I have a listen to the wing off the top of my head. All right, good. An alligator detected a homeless woman who fell into the Florida Canal on Monday morning.

Authorities said the woman was resting on a seawall when she fell into the canal according to the St. Petersburg Fire Rescue Team. Someone heard her cries for help, help, help, and then called 911. The woman who was in her 50s was taking the hospital with severe injury to her arms.

The release said she was reported to be in stable condition. Authorities from the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission were trying to locate the alligator. I'm trying to find him now. Why?

So the alligator pulled her in? I don't understand. He bit her. Once you've been bit by an alligator, that alligator is now a nuisance alligator.

Yes, okay. So when did she... so she was... Sitting on a seawall at a canal.

Okay. Slipping fell. Boop, up a bit. Probably drunk.

High. Something. Fell in the water. Alligator grabbed her.

Yeah. She got loose. The alligator let her go. I don't know, let or...

The alligator fucking let you go. You're 50 years old? That alligator could tear off your fucking arm, without question. The Wildlife Agency uses professional gator trappers for its nuisance alligator program.

Alligator interacting with humans is deemed to be a nuisance if it's over four feet long. We have too many. Let's just start fucking eradicating some of these alligators. Well, there is a season for- I feel like it should be 24/7.

Just any alligator, any time. I mean, the one guy caught an alligator in a trash bin. Did you see that? That was all over the national news.

I was getting a dead story, but that's a very visual story. Yeah, that was all over the news. It was everywhere. That's pretty smart.

I mean, why can't he just shoot the alligator? Alligator, bang. He might not have a gun. It's Florida, bro.

We all have guns. We have guns. We have so many guns that, I mean, I'm not even a gun guy. I have an arsenal.

I just don't understand it. It just happens over time. It just progresses. We had a big snake out of the backyard.

You shot it? Well, that's the first thing I'm thinking. Should I get my gun? Let me just get a fucking gun.

I hit it with the hose and it went to the neighbor's yard. The gun would have been so much better. Yeah, I mean, we could get a shotgun out there. Ah, shotgun, it was under my deck.

Just kind of spray it. So, it's under the deck in front of the bar. Yeah. So, Adrian saw it, I just see, so I'll go out there, all of a sudden I see its head come up between the boards.

Oh, here, looking around. So I get the hose with the hose gun and, so, you know, under the deck, so I just, until it came out the deck. I had an interaction with a snake a while ago. That thing must have been.

It was a black racer? Yeah, a black racer. Yeah. But to Adrian, it's a cobra.

Yeah. I was chasing- It's huge, it's a cobra! I was chasing one a while back, and it stopped and looked at me and said, "Oh, fuck you! " Too bad I didn't have my gun on me, because I would have fucking lit it up.

Right. " Nothing in the yard. It was a snake. Got 'em.

All right, we're running out of time. Well, that was a fast story. Let's see. A woman, Michael, was sent to the hospital with a wedgie from her jean shorts.

Oh, my. Yes. Those are the great lengths to fashion, but one woman's choice of shorts wound up sending her to the hospital. Is this Florida?

No, this is North Carolina. This lady's name is Sam. She's 25-year-old, North Carolina, and explained how she chose to wear tight jeans on a full day date with a new guy. Oh, boy.

So, she had a wedgie. We'll just clip this down a minute. She had a wedgie for eight hours. Didn't think much about it until the next day when she woke up with a really sore butt.

Her bottom was hurting. So, she put some stuff on it. The next day went on. She felt more and more sick.

She eventually went to a doctor who gave her antibiotics for a possible skin infection with her rear. Oh, septic or something. Very good, we're getting into that. It didn't help.

The next day, she felt so bad that she couldn't walk because of stabbing pains in her butt. Hmm, didn't know how I wet breath. Yep. She went to the ER where she admitted to the ICU with what doctors diagnosed as a bacterial skin infection called cellulitis that led to life-threatening septic chomp.

Boom! I'm a doctor. During the week in the ICU, she was told she might need the infected part of her butt cut off. Oh, we're going to remove the ass.

Wait a second. Wait a minute. Thankfully, the Michael didn't come to that. We saved the ass.

Yes. We managed to save the ass. She did have to show her tush to a bunch of physicians. At the end, though, it wasn't all bad.

She explained. She's still with the guy, and they have a nice, funny story that they'll tell at their wedding. Oh, that's good. I'd heard, in fact, doctors are like, well, that's a lovely ass you have, ma'am.

We're going to do everything we can to save. Maybe it was a nice ass if she got to show it to everybody. I feel like if five physicians needed to see it, one doctor was like, the first doctor was like, everybody else needs to see this ass. This is nice.

Everybody else needs to see this. This is nice. Come here. Come here.

Come here. Everybody, come here. We're going to need additional consults here. Right.

So everybody's going, hey, all you guys, you've got to come see this. You've got to come see this. You've got to see this. It's a big Columbia.

It's from a fucking wedgie. You're from a wedgie. It's amazing. She could die, but we need to see this.

Something about her underwear in here, too, but I don't see that now. I think she said next time she'll wear her underwear. Something like that. She doesn't seem like a very clean person.

Well, you know, eight hours of a walking date type thing. Maybe get sweaty, and then, you know, there's that big seam on your shorts, maybe a cut something. They really need to think that out, you know? Yeah, maybe lose her pants.

She didn't dress appropriately. Yeah, it ain't out of a walk, it's chestnut checkers, you know? Right. You might aim for some level of comfort.

Right, you know, and you're pulling, I'm sure there was some, you know, pulling during the day. Oh, man, separating. What's that guy thinking? I bet you, like, if it was, like, chafed and bleeding, like, bloody, she probably had to separate the jeans from her ass.

Oh, when she got home? What if it went well and they would have ended up? Apparently it didn't. Thank goodness for him.

That poor fucking guy. He's like, man, I've been walking for eight hours and I'm not getting anything. I'm exhausted. I'm tired.

Pulling on her pants. What's wrong with her? Is she okay? All right, Michael.

Is that a hemorrhoid for 25? We have a Shop of the Week. Tell me. Shop of the Week is Lake County Cigars.

Lake Country. Lake Country, sorry. God damn it, you always mess that up. It says County here.

It's Lake Country. This might not be the right address then. It's the right address. Lake Country Cigars, Lake County Cigars is one or the other, it's the same one.

It's Lake Country Cigars. Sure it's not Lake County? No, it's Lake Country. Then I'm going to give the address for the wrong one.

No, go ahead, I'll confirm it for you. 2566. Yep. Sun Valley Drive.

Yep. Suite 1, Delafield, Wisconsin, 53018. Yes. Asked for Romatron?

Romatron. That's what he said. Yes. Romatron.

Is that two names or one name? Romatron. Is that a RomaCraft robot that works? He's a Roma guy.

Oh, so it's a nickname. I think his last name is like Tronskiski. Ah, so it's a nickname. So we call him Romatron.

Romatron. Yeah. Wow. Does that make you RomaSki?

I don't know what it makes me. Step on Kevin. It makes me part of the CASD board is what it makes me. Oh, we'd definitely be on the board.

I'm a board member. Founding members. You know, I think Matt is the guy, is the owner of the. Not Romatron?

Not Romatron. Uh, Matt! And, um... Oh, you haven't used that one in a while.

I know. I was asked to play it this week. Oh, you requested. Yes.

Well, you know, Baby Grande used to run that store. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. He used to work there. That's the store.

Yeah. Now he's in Austin. Right. Getting a cake on his birthday.

He got a cake on his birthday. And you weren't acknowledged on your birthday. Don't rub it in, Michael. Michael Rosales, Skip Martin, none of them.

None of them acknowledged you. Don't bring it up. Don't bring it up. No, no.

Jamie did. And so did Arlen. Jamie did. And Arlen did.

Arlen did. Yeah. But, you know, you deserve a proper happy birthday from Michael Rosales. Jed and I did text Skip yesterday while Facebook was down to ask him what he had for lunch, because we needed to know.

Yeah, I mean, you know, the entire world was concerned about it. Yes, that's why I said the entire world needs to know that Skip had a good lunch. So, what did you eat, Uncle Skip? Thank God it turned back on, because Skip can go back to being a Facebook influencer.

Oh, yeah. We can see what time. Yeah, that he had a nice dinner. Yeah, and he's floating in his pool.

Is he floating in his pool right now? Oh yeah, he found a giant pug, some weird-looking pug, with like a Wi-Fi antenna built into it. Oh yeah? A pug?

A dog? No, bug. A bug. B-U-G.

Oh, a bug. Some weird bug where he said he's traveled all over the world, 50 different countries, never seen a bug like this before, and it's floating in his pool. Did I talk to him? Maybe.

Hello, Skip, what are you doing here? Hello! Hey, good to see you. It's time for me to take your soul.

Hello, I have come for your soul. The deal is up now. It's up now, you have the mountain, you have the villa, it is time. It is time, you have a mission accomplished, now your soul must be mine.

Now your soul isn't. And then he's like, wait a second, is that a Neanderthal you're smoking? I will settle for the Neanderthal. I will settle for the Neanderthal.

You can keep your soul. Is that, you got a baka too? I will take the baka. You know, maybe, perhaps I will be back for something.

Yes, I bought you another year. I'll come in for an EC in the morning. All right, that's all I got. What do you got?

We got a minute and a half. That's it, we're going to do the HVC 10th anniversary for the Patreon. HVC, I went very fast today, very fast show. No Listener of the Week though, you didn't mention this one?

Oh, Andrew McCreary! Oh. S. Navy.

He did retire. Congratulations, sir. He did. He did.

And he's kind of working in a shop a little bit, and I think he got a real job. He got a real job, but he's still a friend of the shop. We always say, you know, when you're working in a shop. And then I got a real job.

Right, then I had to get a job that pays. Yeah, so what do you do? Oh, I work at the shop. Okay, what else do you do?

That's what you tell everybody though, I work at a cigar shop. I work at a cigar shop. How does that work out? Well, I have another job.

I sell copy machines. Right. Thank God, because I thought you just told me that you're operating on the income of a retailer. Thank you, everybody, for listening.

S. Navy. Thank you for your service. Thank you.

Best of the Aromatron people at Lake County Cigars. He's just the one person. Lake Country Cigars, 2566, Sun Valley Drive, Suite 1, Deerfield Beach. And who was the other name?

Matt. Matt. Matt, congratulations, Matt. And congratulations, Matt.

Baby Gondé. You hit it like four fucking times. OP! I got my quotas in.

All right, thank you. The Cigar Hustlers podcast, its owners, and its sponsors take no responsibility for the opinions or statements made by the talk show host or their guest. Statements or show topics are not necessarily the beliefs of Mike and Mike Productions or the podcast providers, and opinions between talk show hosts may differ. And the show host may differ.

It is not our intention to libel, incite, or hurt anyone's feelings. We invite you to write the show's host, Mike Szczefankewicz, with any feedback or suggestions that you have for their shows. These broadcasts are presented and made public as entertainment in the hope that they will be entertaining to the audience. This has been a Cigar Hustlers Podcast, a Mike and Mike production.

m. for all new episodes. Hi, I'm doing, I'm Husto-E-Raw. Yeah, we just don't have to do a single, uh, single podcast ever again.

Perfect. I'm good, Mike and Mike. How are you guys doing? The Hojo, the...

Hojo! It's the Hojo! You didn't even let him fuck it up all the way. I couldn't get past Hojo!

Yo, go on. I don't even have to try it. He's not even going to try. We're going to cover a lot of ground here, Mike.

All right. Try to keep up. That's a sign of a good podcast. It'd be like four cigars when I walked in a door.

All right, end this. Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike squared, squared, squared.

Show Notes

Mikey fights another old man....Alligator attacks common......Who has the Biggest P!