204 LCA.......Flame Throwers and Donuts

Transcript

Welcome to episode 204 of the Cigar Hustler podcast, still the number one show on Potbean, number one cigar show, number one, we could just be the number one show by now, I don't even check anymore, Cigar Hustler, Cigar Hustler, number one podcast, number one podcast, number one podcast. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. com, and remember to please rate, comment, and subscribe. Are you with us?

I'm trying to be. I'm trying to be with you. Michael Joseph. Fucking there.

Burn you with my smoke. Burn you with my smoke. Oh my goodness. You linked that all together.

Yes. What is going on here? I don't know what you're talking about, Michael. So, what have you been up to?

What have you been up to? What have you been doing? The Grinch is here. The who?

I don't see anything. Where did you get the Grinch outfit? I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, you don't see anything?

I don't see anything. I need a therapist. Oh, wow. So what have you been doing?

Why is the Grinch laughing? I don't know what you're talking about, Michael. I have no idea. Grinch, you're looking relatively portly there.

Apparently your aberration is looking for a seat, but there isn't one. There isn't one. Did you need to get the double XL on the... He's not in the shot.

He's pointing. He's pointing to the chair. Oh. You guys haven't prepared for this.

Oh, he went to the chair? I don't know what he's talking about. I haven't prepared for this. Oh.

Oh, so you do acknowledge the Grinch now. I don't see anything. I don't know what you're talking about. But he's not in the shot, though.

If you need to take another half a step towards you. Poor guy can't breathe. Do you want me to scoot in something for you? So you can see him?

Yeah, there you go. Is he going to stand there and lurch the whole time? I don't know what you're talking about. What are you talking about?

I don't see a thing. What have you been doing? You've already acknowledged him, Mike. I haven't acknowledged anything.

What are we doing for the Patreon? The Patreon, we're doing the La Pisserie from Crown Heads. The La Tapisserie. La Pisserie.

The La Pisserie. La Pisserie. Which is French for pastry chef. La Pisserie.

What? I like how you say Pisserie, it's funny. He's gonna hurt his legs. I love, you know what, you gotta stay in that position the whole time.

Who's gonna stay in what position? Steve the Grinch. What? What, Steve Da Who?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, why does he keep touching me? I don't know. I don't like it when people touch me. Oh, well, I don't, I don't know what your problem is, Michael.

Well, it all started when I was younger, Michael. So what have you been doing? Well, the kids blew up the house. Uh, it's right, you guys have all been sick.

Teddy was patient zero, we had the stomach bug, that was, uh, fun. It's always, always seems to be a stomach bug in your house. I feel like it's an annual visit, one way or the other. Yeah, we always get the vomits and the diarrhea.

I think it's more than annually. I think it's a couple times a year. I don't remember the last time we had it, to be honest. I think, you know, with COVID, there was no stomach bug.

Oh, well, I guess nobody left. Yeah, no outside influence. But I'm pretty sure that Teddy had it first. And when she was fully recovered, then she went ahead and blew up the entire house.

Oh. So that was fun. Because when you have a one-year-old child that is ready to go. Right.

And as in full tempo, she will either laugh at you or scream at you and you don't care because you're in dying pain. Oh, wow. But you got to take care of the baby. She wants her snacks.

She wants, she doesn't want her snacks. She wants to watch TV. She doesn't want to watch TV. Can we get him the fuck out of here now?

What? I don't know what you're talking about. It doesn't matter. He's gonna be hot as balls in there anyways.

It's nice to see him sweat. I don't want to see him sweat. Oh. It doesn't take much to get Steve to sweat.

I'll touch that. I'll touch it. What are you talking to? I wonder how flammable his outfit is.

What? I don't know what you're talking about, Michael. Alright, he's out of here. Thank God.

You feeling okay? Something alright today? No, I'm not feeling okay, Michael. I mean, it's Tuesday morning, so we are shooting this today late because of the family alone.

Oh, yeah. I mean, you had some other issues going on as well. Yes, yes, yes. So it all kind of worked out.

Yeah, worked out for everybody. Jacks had a tournament, football tournament, which was pretty cool. I thought football was over. Yeah, but it was like a special NFL tournament.

Oh, like the Pro Bowl. Yeah, so no, but it's like not tied into the league. It was like, I think it's like five on five or something like that. Did he get paid to play?

No, you had to pay to play. Yeah, that's it. you know what, they didn't have enough money. So they're like, you know what we need?

A little extra thing. We need more money. We need more money, so let's start another thing going on. So, like, you have to play, they're 25-minute games, and you have to win some of them to qualify to get into the playoffs.

So we won and qualify to get into the playoffs, but then we ran right into the number one team and got blasted. Ugh, damn that number one team. But what's cool is I got my Christmas present early. Mm-hmm.

Oh, did you get some footage? I did. I got aerial. Why isn't that included in the show?

I have aerial drone footage. Why isn't that It's not included in the show. I don't know. I can give you some if you'd like.

Can you give me something like in the next hour? Yeah. The hard part is- You have it here? I do.

Oh. The hard part is that, you know, I died at the fucking game. Oh. I was like, I don't feel well.

So I got like the first two games, I got them recorded. Right. But then after that, I had one more battery left. The batteries kind of burned fast.

Yeah. I do go quick. And I was like, I can't even get this thing. My only wife tagged me in the photo of the boys and said, "Mr.

" and she was in the background packing up everything, and then I said, "Oh, yes, I see everything. " in a second post, and you're in the background behind her up against this big metal pole just leaning on the pole. I mean, like you're, you know, Mr. Cool Bean.

Yeah, I vomited 30 minutes after that. Oh. Yeah, that's, yeah, so it wasn't good. Vomit.

I don't like the vomit. Been a lot of vomiting lately in my house. I'm kind of used to it now, but it's, you know, just late. Like, this morning it was in the yard, so I was outside.

You did? Yeah. I choke on the snot. Oh.

You can have a gag. In the morning, yeah. So what was funny, though, is like, so we stopped by, we went, we were at McDonald's to get the kids something. Yes.

Like, I need a Coke. I just, like, I need something to help settle my stomach or whatever. So we're in the drive-thru, and I fucking purge, right? In the drive-thru?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Were you driving? No, I was not driving.

I was passing. You can't purge in driver's seat. Well, that's why I was asking. Yeah, that would not.

They frown on that. Thank God I wasn't driving. A little bit extra in the McDonald House delivery thing by the door. So, um, so Jax is like, he says in the background, he's like, "Hey, it's okay, Daddy.

" Oh, that's true. I can't argue with that statement. So wise. So wise at eight.

So wise. Well, he's throwing up once or twice, I'm sure. Well, he wound up throwing up that evening. Oh, so everybody got it.

Oh, yeah. Brittany's last to go. And, of course, the worst to experience. Oh, she got the full, she was dead.

Oh, so she got like four helpings of it. Yeah, she was. Because it was four of you. It was a heavy, yeah, so.

So she took care of everybody, and then she took it all. So she managed, well, it was Jax and I on Saturday, and then like early Sunday morning is when it hit Brittany, and then it hit Justice kind of Sunday day. When did Teddy have it, Friday? I think she had it like middle of the week, Wednesday, Thursday, and then it kind of formulated around us three days later.

Didn't do the purge of the home that she does, the full Clorox bleach cleanup. We have done that, we did that the next day. Oh, well, she should have done it after the first one. No, no.

Wow. And then, uh, she's like, so, so Teddy's just a sweet little cute girl at times, but she's a fucking atomic bomb. Oh, she's, she's just, she's a, she's a dirty bomb. She just blew up the entire house.

Right. Dirty bomb. And, um, and then, you know, then her demands. Her demands when you're sick, I'm was like, stop, please just, please just stop.

You're like, you're so much better when you couldn't talk. Yeah, and now she's, and now she's doing like this, uh, Brittany wants to send you some footage. Oh. Like when she gets, uh, she gets testy with you, she'll go, no, and she tries to smack you.

Uh, well, where'd she learn that? I don't know. Yeah, I wonder where that came from. And then she beefs up at you.

She tried to hit me in the humidor a little while ago. She clicks her chest, she goes, like this. Oh, she's watching wrestling. So.

She's watching wrestling with the boys. So, uh, we want, she, she wants to send you some footage so you can do a comparable. Oh. She'll be doing some, uh, some atomic knee drops and stuff very soon.

Mm-hmm. Put you in a figure four or a sleeper. You don't want to fuck with Teddy. Of all the three, that's the one you don't want to mess with.

Really? Yeah, I think the children, so I think that they, uh, Jack's got into a little bit of a shoving contest with her, so Justice, or Teddy shoved Jack's. Yeah. And Jack's pushed her back, like, I mean, not hard, but you know, as an older brother should, step back.

Right. She went back at him. Oh, that a girl. Oh, oh!

Oh, it's on, is it? Oh, he wants to play games. Okay. He wants to say who's in charge.

We're picking up Bubbles this week. Oh, he's coming home. Yeah. Bubbles.

Bubbles is coming home. For Christmas. Sound nice. Oh, yeah.

It's going to be chaos. That's just how we roll. If you're getting at least, if you're getting four or five hours of sleep in our home, it's clearly, it's too peaceful. Has a man been training Bubbles at all?

Yeah, he works on them. But maybe he's like potty trained or? Yeah, to some degree. I mean, he's only eight weeks old.

Right, right, right, right. There's only so much. You know, but I did look up. It is a he?

Oh, yeah. It's a he. It's a he. Girl dogs are a big problem.

You think, yeah? Well, they menstruate once a month. They get in the heat and stuff. You got to put pads and stuff on them.

Yeah. So I looked up, he sent me a link for this guy. It's called Shield Canine. Oh, I've heard of them.

Have you? Yeah. And I watched a couple of videos. I'm going to go buy the courses.

Oh. Do you have to go too? Do you have to go to? No, they're all online.

He offers online courses. Oh, what are you doing for? Just Google, looking on YouTube. There's got to be free ones on YouTube.

You know what? He's even made the comment that if you run through his YouTube page, you can probably put the pieces together. Right. I would much rather just, look.

I would rather take them somewhere. The guy has the knowledge, and if he has the format of the videos, I'll just give them the format of the videos and see if I can do it. It's a lot of commitment. I'm sure it is.

It is. It's like a kid. Not like you have a lot of free time. I mean, my dogs are semi-trained, but I mean, they don't, you know, I don't snap my finger and they sit next to me.

That walkie thing where they go in and out of your legs, don't do any of that. He talks about like two 30-minute sessions a day. That's a lot of commitment, Michael. You're a very busy man.

Yeah, but I want this dog to be... Well, the last one was, the last shepherd you had. No, but the last shepherd, first of all, we didn't really train her. She called you around when you were hearing stuff.

She was super smart. Yeah. She was just very intelligent. Right.

I didn't know how to train a dog at that point. I just got lucky to have a good dog. Yeah. But you know, I would like, but when you walked in the house, the dog would bark out of control.

Oh. So this, you know, if you teach the dog. I kind of like that though. No.

I want people outside to know there is a dog. So when the guy coming around, he's casing houses, he's like, let's see, we break into that one. Oh, nope, I hear the dog. Nope, not doing that one.

We have a big glass window at our front door. You have a big door? My door is glass in the middle. And this shepherd is the heaviest of all the shepherds that have been born.

Are you afraid you'll go through it? No, the breeder is actually gauging him to clock in somewhere between 105 and 120 pounds. Oh, that big dog. Yeah, maybe he should do something.

I don't think he needs to bark. Yeah, but he will though. Yeah, but all I'm saying is, if you see him through the window, you're going to say, eh, I think they're going to... Yeah, but they come in through the window.

Most burglars don't come through the front door. Okay, if they come through the fucking window, the dog is going to be protective of his area regardless. Like, that's just instinctively for Shepherds. Do you crate your dogs when you're not home?

Um, no. No, we have in the past, and I will start with crate training him, you know, but eventually that will be removed and he'll have like a bed there. I gotta go through the courses. Yeah.

I wanna see exactly, you know, I just wanna make sure that I do everything that I possibly can to get the dog that I want, right? But there are still gonna be some things that are out of my control. You know, the dog, he makes a comment of something like, you know, you don't get the dog you want, you get the dog that you have, right? Right.

And you just have to build from there. Right. So, I don't think anybody's gonna fuck with my... You should put that on a t-shirt.

Yeah, it makes sense. Right. Right. So, I'm excited.

I can't wait until he gets here. Good. And so, and we got the nativity thing coming up for justice. He's going to be in a show.

Oh, he's being in the school church. This motherfucker. Churchy school. Yeah, he's been saying this whole time that he's the sheep.

Oh. He's going to be the sheep. He's going to be the sheep. Right.

Okay, so. Oh, he's the shepherd. Yes. So, Brittany's talking.

So, Brittany's talking to the. I mean, he could be in a sheep. To one of the teachers and says, is he excited about being one of the kings? Oh, he's one of the three wise men!

Yeah, the three kings, they're all shepherds, right? I think that's how it works. No, they're kings. They're actual kings.

Oh. They're not shepherds, they're kings. So yeah, he's one of the- Frankincense, the myrrh, and the coffee, or whatever the third guy brings. But they're actual kings.

Yeah, he's one of the kings. Okay, the kings come to pay homage to the lord and savior. Right. Right, so they're, yeah, they're actually kings with crowns and stuff.

Oh, that's, that's, yeah, okay, so he wasn't, he thought he was a sheep. He thought he was a sheep. This is my son. Maybe he wants to be a sheep.

He's supposed to be a sheep. He's a full-time gig, man. What's to wear a sheep outfit? He's a lovable kid.

Maybe that's his life. So what are you going to say? And he goes, bah, but you're a king. I don't think the kings talk.

Probably not. They might. They might go, I have brought frankincense. I have brought frankincense.

It's frankincense, myrrh, and something. I'm not exactly sure what myrrh is. Or frankincense as far as I go. I'm not really up to speed on the whole religious thing.

It's the biggest thing. Kids go to Catholic school, isn't that, didn't you? Yeah. Prerequisite?

Listen, the whole purpose of me, you know, existing is just to make them better than me. Oh, oh. Well, they don't tell you? I'll get the details after I see the whole thing.

Maybe you should watch the movie, Netflix. Catch up on that? Yeah. There's a nativity scene, Netflix?

I'm sure. There's something. A nice cartoon. There's always animated things for children.

Yeah, we'll watch that. We're bringing Netflix and chilling. You know how that ends. Yeah, yeah.

Well, that's how you get the baby Jesus. Another surprise baby Jesus. Another baby Jesus. So.

Hmm. We're excited. Oh, it's good. Mm-hmm.

Ah, that's, I guess we don't talk about what the event is, 'cause it's a ticketed thing. It's a special thing. Right. It is.

But you did a, you wanted me to do a thing, we did a thing, you wanted a. Oh, yeah, yeah, since this is our, since next week is a Christmas, we'll do a Christmas show next week, obviously we'll do a Christmas show. Yeah, yeah, but this is when you know. I think we might decorate or something too, but I'm toying with the idea.

I'm glad that the Grinch left. Oh yeah? And I think that worked out the way that you wanted it to, so. I don't know what you're talking about.

Mm-hmm. You just acknowledged them again. I said what? You said the Grinch left.

As long as your mind, if the Grinch left, that's all that counts. We're going to do our top five Christmas presents that we'd like to have. Now do serious ones. Don't do like you're doing yesterday where you said like a sports model with big boobs.

I mean, don't do that. Do like a real- First of all, I did not say that. Okay, whatever. I don't fucking appreciate that.

It's fine. I don't appreciate that. So what would be your top five? Okay, well, let's go one for one.

You do one and then I'll do one. You're going to make me not do this podcast ever again. Why? Because for one, I did not fucking say that.

No, you didn't say it, fine. You're going to cause fucking problems for me when I didn't even do anything. He didn't do anything. He didn't do anything, Brittany.

It's fine. Nothing. He said he wanted things for you. All five things were things that you would need.

That's not what I said. All right, come on, give me one, a real present. I don't really want anything though. No, there's always things people want, there's things I want that I don't need.

I feel like you brought this whole thing up to try and figure it out, so you would push to get something for me or something. No, we do birthdays, we don't do Christmas. Okay, you don't fucking... Yeah, we do birthdays, we don't do Christmas.

But there really isn't, I mean, you know, what I really wanted was a drone and I got a drone. Right, so pick something else. I can't put that in my five list? Oh, no, no, no, it's just...

It's not my fault I got it early. Huh? Yeah, but you already know you got it, though. But, like, okay.

I mean, that'd be like me going, I wanted a flat iron grill. I mean, there's already one there. It's under the tree. I just can't put it together yet.

But that's still one of your top five requests. Okay, then do number two. And then, like, you wanted a drone. I wanted a flat iron grill.

Okay, I got a flat iron grill. I think that, you know, like, but I'm, I don't, I don't know, man. There aren't a lot of things that I want. So, like.

Well, it's nothing that you need. Like, okay, you know what a jerry can is? I don't know what a jerry can is. Jerry can?

That's those gas cans that they put on the back of Jeeps and stuff? Yeah. The metal ones? Uh huh.

Okay. I've seen some that they have cut and they have made into like a portable bar. So you swing it open, it's a place to put a bottle of liquor, a couple of glasses, and an ice thing. So it's called a jerry can bar.

Oh, that's fancy. They're kind of cool. I'd like to have one. I don't need one.

Okay. But I'd like to have one. They also make like a fire extinguisher one, which I thought would be cool for my son. But again, I don't need that either because he's a firefighter.

Something like that. Okay. The things, while you're saying that, you've kind of stimulated the brain a little bit. Okay, all right.

There are a couple cool things that I would want that I don't... You don't need. Yeah, and I'm not expecting. I mean, well, right.

I mean, what would I do with a jerry can bar? I don't even have a Jeep. Okay. But I saw one, I thought, oh, that's cool, I'd like to have one.

And here's one of the reasons why I wouldn't want somebody to get me these things for Christmas, is because, for one, I'm a horrible fucking receiver when it comes to gifts. Yes, you would deserve it. I critique everything. Yes.

Right? So I'm like, oh, well, this isn't exactly what I wanted, whatever the case may be. And I'm just, I just suck. You just have to say thank you.

Yeah, I'm like, no, thank you. And then, you know, I don't know. I suck at that. That's just, I don't know.

I'm sorry. I have to work on that as a person. Yes. One thing that I've always really kind of wanted is an old school icebox.

Oh, the wooden thing. Yeah. Oh, okay. But like, there's a specific one that I want.

Right. You know, cause they come, some of them are big and wide. They're like, you know. What was that?

Oh, your headphones just dropped. Oh, off the air. Yeah. When you hit the table angrily.

Yeah. But it was like specific the way that, you know, it's kind of, it's just one lean look, right? And I saw one that we almost got that was in... Oh, that's right.

We talked about that. You had to go drive somewhere to get it or something. It was in Michigan. Oh, that's right.

You're trying to get it shipped. Yeah. That's right. But like when the guy called me, he just, you know, it just, it didn't feel right.

The way that he was speaking and stuff, I'm like, you know what? I told you, it sounded kind of scammy. It was too cheap. Yeah, I'm like, you know what?

I'm just going to let this go. So yeah, I think that that, because, you know, it'd be cool to turn something like that into a humidor. Right. And kind of have its own little place.

How come you don't have much of a humidor at home? Because, for one, I don't really take care of the cigars in my house. That's true. And for two, I burn through them.

I just, they just, I plop them in there. I make them nice, nice. Right, for the photo. Right.

And then I burned through them. And then you start shuffling around into the poop. Well, no, I like, I mean, you know, it's really kind of funny is you'd think that as a, as a cigar store owner. Right.

That I would have multiple options of different cigars and shit like that, that I would enjoy smoking all the time. Right. There's amazing collection in your home of these one only's that you've come across. Right.

Right. But the reality is that I would rather have three or four sticks that I enjoy all the time. Right. And just have, have the options to go to them.

So I usually start with like a mild cigar, and 90% of the time that's the EC Brotherly Kindness, so that's, that's almost in my, that's in my humidor, humidor almost every, every month of the year. Right, right, that's usually your start of the day cigar. Yeah, I mean every once in a while I mix it up with another Connecticut shade of some sort, sometimes the High Clear Castle I like to put in there, that one kind of comes to mind, but in general that Brotherly Kindness is my jam, right? And then I usually move to a Powstanie Habano of some degree, but right now it's the Box Press War Bear because that's the car's fucking money.

It is, it's very good. So, you know, I actually smoked that on the way in. And then I'll upgrade to something that's usually a little bit bolder. Sometimes it'll be a Powstanie Broadleaf, Cro-Mag, you know, Anthropologie, sometimes it'll be the Cranium, whatever the case may be, and then I'll do a type of a San Andreas, which is usually the Neanderthus.

Anderthal HN, the LH, the Guaymaro Coronas, the Guaymaro Torpedoes, I think I brought home some Robusto's, some Guaymaro Robusto's in this batch. So, I mean, that's... Yeah, I think in your photo there were some. That's generally what consists of my batch of cigars every month, right?

And I just smoke through them. I don't, you know, I don't really chase a lot of LE's, you know, that this shit doesn't drive me nuts or whatever. I smoke a lot of the simple stuff that I know that's effective, that tastes good. And I keep moving forward, which is, you know, the opposite of pretty much everybody else.

Cause a lot of the people will buy a lot of the LEs and they'll park them. Right. And they save them. I'm not built that way.

It's so funny because everybody asked me, you know, what, what do you have? Well, where's your secret stash? I'm like, there is no fucking secret. There is no secret stash.

Like here's a secret stash. If you, if I have something that's cool here, it's fucking for sale. We're not, this isn't cigar store keepers. You know what I mean?

I'm not taking a God of Whisper home and hiding it in my drawer. It's Cigar Hustler. We're fucking sold. Everything's for sale.

If it isn't bolted to the ground, it's for sale. I don't care. And if it's bolted to the ground, let me get a fucking screwdriver, a power drill, some shit. Some guy bought one of the house lighters off the table the other day.

Yeah. He's like, I'm really looking for the big torch. I'm like, well, the only big torches we have around the table is like, all right, I got to go. I said, why don't you just buy that one?

Okay. Done. Here you go. Fuck it.

Right. I'm here about, I'm all about the EBITDA. EBITDA, well, always. We gotta have the EBITDA.

Always EBITDA in here. Solid EBITDA. Yes. You know?

So. Alright, next gift, or is it my turn now? Why don't you go? I had a second one.

I'd like an outdoor kitchen. Oh, that's a big one. Well, I think I'm gonna, when I get the flat iron thing, 'cause I've got that tiki bar with the grill under it already, I think I'm gonna bring that out and I have that deck off to the left. I think I'm going to somehow make a little outdoor kitchen with the flat iron and the regular.

Look at you, all we need is a nice Cat 5 to wipe all that shit out. Survived a Cat 4 so far. Yeah, you never know. Five comes through, it can have it.

You know, as long as we're not Kentucky. Right, yeah. Amazon's in trouble now. Are they?

OSHA is doing an investigation because six people died at the Amazon plant. Warehouse? Yeah. How do you die at the warehouse?

It got crushed. It got hit. And it's gone? And it's gone?

I guess it wasn't up to standards or code or something. They should've survived better or something. I don't know. I just read the headline.

I didn't read the article. Look, Jeff Bezos got so much money, you can fucking, you know, sorry for your loss. Sorry for your loss. Here's a million dollars.

I mean, you can't put a price on the family, obviously, but, you know, we do it all the time overseas. A million dollars makes it a little easier. Hey, we killed all these people. Here's some American cash.

Sorry, we hit the school here somewhere. Soften the blow. Right. All right, come on, one more, and then we're at 30 minutes.

You know, you know, there's, well, I can give you two. Okay. I'll give you two. All right, give me two.

One thing that I thought was really fucking cool, and I actually sent it to my brother, I think, and, you know, I have no absolute purpose for this at all. Yes. But I saw it, one of these dudes, he's my boy in Louisiana, he does this like party shit, and he hangs out in front of his house, and he's got this thing. It's old school.

Let me look it up real quick. It's pretty fucking badass. Okay. It's like, I'll show you the picture of it.

Okay. Oh wow. You see this? There's a name for it.

I'll give you the image. You can put it up. You can see that pretty good. It's a big fire thing.

Yeah. Is it gas powered or something? Yeah. It runs off of anything you want.

Oh. You put whatever you want. Let's see. I got it right here.

Like the Reactor 5000 that's on the DeLorean time machine. And I've looked them up and they exist. What the fuck is the name of it? You would obviously not be able to put that on your patio.

Yeah, you can't put it on your patio. It would burn out a hole. But it's, it's called something. Fuck, I wish I remembered the name of it, but it's like this stove, it looks like this old school stove top burner.

Right. And it's been modified. And it like, it cooks whatever the fuck you want. Oh, it cooks things.

Well, no, you just throw, you know, canola oil in it, diesel fuel, it doesn't matter. Diesel fuel. It'll just burn. Right.

And it makes this gigantic fucking flame. Right. And it's really badass. I don't know what I would do with it, where I would put it, because I'd probably set my house on fire.

Yeah, middle of your backyard maybe? Nope, it would catch the trees. Oh, that's right, the trees right there. You'd have to sit out front, I guess, with it or something.

Yeah, where the tree used to be. Yeah, where the tree used to be. Right. That would be fucking awesome.

I think those things are pretty cool. I wish I didn't remember the name of it. Someone will correct us on the podcast. Someone will know the name.

Skip will know the name. I was like, that's pretty fucking amazing. You know, everybody else got those little bougie burner thingies, the fancy ones or whatever. This is just old school fucking.

Old school, just a giant flame. Complete torture. Like a jet engine turned upside down. And the other thing that I, you know, the other, the more realistic stuff that I like is like more cool gym shit.

You know, like. Oh, you probably like a home gym where you didn't have to go anywhere. Yeah, I mean, I don't, I'm not necessarily a fan of that. I like going to the gym.

I wouldn't mind building one for my son eventually. Yeah. Um, you know, I would like new fucking headphones for this place, 'cause whatever, these always drive me nuts, they hurt my ears. Really?

'Cause these are, these are upgraded headphones. I know, they bother the shit out of me. Um, but like, they make these cool handle things for cable pulls where they adjust, like, naturally on your hands. So, you know, as crazy as it sounds, when you engage, when you create stimulus and you hit different types, When you hit muscle fibers in different angles and different approaches, you create a better stimulus.

So any type of way to kind of offset that and make something just a little bit different, it produces more growth. I also like stuff that, because I'm older now, and shit breaks, there's like, there are straps that are made that you can put around your wrists instead of holding things for pulls, because you get tendonitis. So to avoid the tendonitis, you can just strap it around your wrist for pulls and shit. So, like little shit like that.

Hmm. Good deal. What else you got? For me?

Yeah, other than your kitchen. I can't request Learjet, but you can request a whole fucking kitchen in your backyard. No, I'm looking out in our kitchen. I can build that in my backyard kitchen.

I only need some cabinets to go with my new grill. What do you really want for Christmas, Mike? A fucking Learjet. Okay, Learjet is a little bit more extravagant than me putting some cabinets on a deck.

I mean, I have simple goals, okay? Learjet? You never go anywhere. What do you need a jet for?

Because I don't have a Learjet. If you had a Learjet, you would go places? Fuck yeah. You don't like to leave the house.

But it'd be great if I could. I'd go get lunch somewhere. Are you kidding me? That's very expensive.

There's like a gnat in there. I know. I just saw it on your head. Yeah, it went on my forehead.

That would be a very expensive lunch. How cool would it be, though, to like go have lunch in France? I don't like French food. Okay.

Why don't we go get some barbecue in Tennessee somewhere? You can go to Austin. You can go to Tennessee. Oh, I'll go to Austin, yeah.

Yeah, you get to be weird like Austin. Oh, since my wife don't listen to the show, you know, she's got to take the dog back to Texas. Yeah. I checked to see how far Austin was out of the way.

Where, where? Laredo. It's probably like four or five hours. It's three and a half hours.

Yep. But it doesn't make the trip any longer on the way back if you go up and over instead of just going over. Oh. So are you going?

No, no, no. I waited out and, you know. So she's driving? Oh, her and Alex are going.

You're kidding me. So they're not shipping this dog? No, they, you can't, they, they won't fly boxers. They're too high strung.

It's one of the breeds that won't fly because they will tear open the crate and run loose in the plane. That's amazing. Yeah. Just buy a really good crate.

Well, there's steel. Yeah, but the, the airline won't take them. They're on the do not fly list. They're on the no fly list.

They're like terrorists. Apparently. Apparently. I've seen a video, you know the regular metal metal crates, I've seen a video of a boxer grabbing the bottom of the door, and putting his paws down, and just pulling up, and he bends the door, and then walks out.

I believe that. There's a reason why they make thousand dollar crates. Because the dogs can't fucking get out of those. Like you're gonna fucking, you're gonna go, and you're gonna go, and you're gonna bleed, and you know, you're gonna get exhausted, and you're gonna quit.

Her and Alex will have a great time spending three days together, they're gonna drive out, spend the night, and drive back. She'll, she'll have a ball spinning three days straight with her son Alex. Yeah. And you're not going to wear pants for three days.

Exactly. No pants. No pants for three days. 27th through the 29th.

If anybody wants to come hang out. Come hang out. I'll be in my underwear. I'll be in my underwear building my, oh, maybe that's when I'll build my outdoor kitchen.

Your kitchen. Yeah. That's when I'll build a kitchen. It'll be after Christmas.

Yeah. And then you can get on to building my Learjet. I can't build a jet. You want a wooden jet?

I'll build you a wooden jet. Oh, a wooden jet. I don't know. That doesn't sound good.

Sure, and we'll put your fire pit thing on the side for the engines. Yeah. That'd be nice. I mean, all I want for Christmas is to win.

Win at all of it. Win everything? Yeah. Win at all.

You know? All right. Win the game of life. If a Romeo and Juliet Oral released.

Oh, I'm getting a half-wheel update. Look at that. Oh, you must have said, you must have allowed the notifications. Oh, yeah, I must have allowed notifications.

You never allow the notifications. Ah, it's Charlie, you know. I might need something. Oh, I get press releases from Abe.

When he sends out a press release, I get one. Your media. Should I incorporate you and our press releases? No, no, I don't need those.

I help write them. I'm gonna add you. You're gonna add me to the press release? Yes.

I just pull them off halfway when he puts them up. Oh, you just look at your words? Right, look at my words on there. Alright, this show brought to you by the Zifee Cigar Cutter Stainless Steel V-Cut Cigar Cutter, built in with a cigar punch.

It comes in black and gold. It's black and gold. Pick it up right there. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

The Zifee Cigar Cutter Stainless Steel V-Cut Cigar Cutter Built-In Cigar Punch on the bottom. Michael, show the punch on the bottom. Oh, there's a punch. There's a punch on the bottom.

I see the punch. It's exquisite design in line with the human body mechanics, Michael. This is fancy. It has a security lock, which is that button on the front.

Watch out! Stainless steel blade, sharp and durable. Uh-huh. Small and compact.

It's easy to carry. It comes equipped with a gift bag. A gift bag. That's right there in the box.

Oh, that's lovely. It also comes with... What is that velvet? They say flannel.

Flannel? It's equipped with a gift box. To keep it warm at night. Well, so it doesn't get scratched in your pockets.

Yeah. It's a zinc aloe material. It's stainless steel. It's stainless steel and zinc.

Stainless steel and zinc. It comes in black and gold. So I can eat this and be healthy. A lot of zinc.

A lot of zinc. That way you won't get sick. Save you from COVID. Yeah, cold.

Might upset, might upset your stomach. Well, you can have that once a year in your house anyway. Oh, yeah, the stomach. Yeah, annual stomach blowout.

You think zinc would save me? Yes. I don't think zinc would save me. Maybe the stainless steel.

Nothing will save me from my child. Patient zero. If you feed her the zinc. Here, eat the zinc.

Eat the zinc, darling. The Zeefy Cigar Cutter. Yes. You can find it on Amazon.

You can. And there will be a link in the description of our favorite cigar accessories. Oh, that's a nice beet cutter. It is very nice.

It's very sharp. What's your finger? Don't cut your finger. I won't cut my finger.

It's designed the right way, so I shouldn't cut my finger. If you cut your finger on this, you should probably not be smoking cigars. Or not cutting your own cigars. Still keep smoking, just don't cut your own.

I would give up smoking. Because you are a special person. That affects our ibida. Well, we don't want it to affect our EBITDA, but we don't want people to be, you know, we don't want special people to be doing this.

They're all special people, Michael. It's true. All our customers are special. Mm-hmm.

So, the Zeefee Cigar V-Cut on Amazon. Zeefee. From the four corners of the world, all the cigar industry news you could possibly need. The Cigar Hustler Podcast Report with Mike Tu.

New limited cigars association releases Michael, they have more cigars coming out, they do they have more you know what's funny is uh you we gotta go back and listen to the whole coop thing I listened to half of it you know but I heard so Brian was on there yes our friend Brian and he and he had a lot of good points at least he started off when I was listening to he had a lot of good points I fell asleep unfortunately and I missed a really good tirade that I really want to hear but I heard the rumor is that it's muted out. - Without including names. - Of who was muted by, or who he's talking about? - Who he's talking about.

- Oh, if Mr. Coop could send us that footage. - We won't use it for anything, I just want to hear it. - We just want to hear it.

- I just want to hear it. - Swear. - This is why. - Cross our heart.

- Yeah. - No fingers crossed. - Yeah. - I don't think we're trustworthy, I don't think he's gonna send it.

- I don't think he's gonna send it. No, it's okay. It's okay if you don't send it, Coop. - Can you read lips?

- Ooh. - Ooh, if you turn on- The captions? Yes, maybe. You think it'll pick it up?

I don't know. I don't know how that works. Or we hire a lip reader. Okay.

We can tell that. Oh, we have deaf customers. We do have deaf customers. We have this onslaught of deaf customers that come in.

We have a whole group. Hey, we need you to watch this. We need you to watch this, but the problem is they can't tell anything. But even if they write it out.

Oh, they can write it down. If they write it out, then we can. Doesn't mean they're going to be doing this. We're going to go.

And then you know what we could do? Yeah. We could have them write it out. And then we could do like a play about it.

Oh! We could, you know, like... You could be Coop, I'll be him. No, but it could be like...

Okay, I'll be Coop, you be him. It could be like old English style, you know... Oh, I'll make puppets! Like...

Oh, marionettes? Yeah, something. I mean, I feel like... Marionettes are really hard.

I'm thinking more like finger puppets where... I feel like there's a whole thing here... What are you doing? I don't like him.

He's not nice to me. I know, I don't like him either. Yeah. I mean, I could go in detail about all of that in my thoughts and opinions, but I'm gonna table that.

Save that for the Patreon. Yeah, because, you know, but I feel like, I feel like part of this, like, I don't know, I don't mean to take you off your story, but I feel like it's, you know, we have like, it's like Game of Leaves at this point. Oh, we matched today. I did, I matched.

I figured I might be doing a video today, so, you know. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So, I, Game of Leaves.

Like, do we have these little kingdoms? Oh. Of people. Oh, like Game of Thrones.

Yes. Oh, a giant throne made of leaves. Yes, and Brian has popped up as this new kingdom. Oh.

Right? Right. And some of the other kingdoms, maybe not so happy about that. No, not so happy.

I don't know. I don't know. I haven't had a one-on-one conversation with anybody else. Yeah?

You know. Since the Coop show? I saw he was on it, but I didn't watch it. I just figured...

Yeah, and you know, and he broke down some... He was breaking it down. He was breaking it down. Oh.

Oh. Aaron came for him, too. He's like, well... Aaron Loomis?

Oh, yeah. Oh, he chimed in. thing for the whole time and then brian's like i know why you're here now because when you speak you know it's like and he is it's true it's true he'll he drops the old thing was been on it he comes and drops the atom bomb no it was will it was coop and uh coop aaron and will and um brian yeah who's will william cooper oh oh sorry i called my first name i don't know i don't know what happened there i'm sorry it's goop he's good definitely coop so um he did start his And Coop started his, you know, 37 Days of Christmas breakdown of top 75 cigars of the year. Oh!

He started with, I think it was like Quesada or something. Hmm. Yeah. Quesada.

Yeah. So, uh... What's, uh, what's, uh, what's my friend? How don't you know what?

What? Who's my friend? What's his company? Uh, Qua...

Cuevas? Cuevas, yeah. Mr. Cuevas, yes.

Happy graduation to your children, Mr. Cuevas. They just graduated college. Oh, lovely.

Yes. Good for him. Can I keep going to Sturna? Game of Leaves.

Should we just jump to the listener of the week? The Limited Cigar Association LCA has announced its upcoming releases. Who gets the dragons? Charlie.

You think Charlie has the dragons? Charlie's the dragon? Charlie's the dragon queen. He's the dragon queen?

I did not say that Charlie. Please don't. Good reviews. Good reviews.

Limited Cigar Association of a trio of the Cigars will be arriving on store shelves in the next week or so. The first cigar is an Año Viejo by... Gaby. Gaby Cavy.

Gaby Cavy. Dr. Gaby Cavy, which will be the LCA's monthly limited edition. This is usually slated for release on the first Friday of each month.

However, it will be getting its release on Monday, December 27th. It is designed to be smoked on New Year's Eve as a way of purging the negativity of the old year. Ah. I won't be here that day.

I want a pence on. Oh, yeah. That's 27. That'd be the first day of no pence.

It's the first day of no pants. That's the first day of no pants. First day of no pants. First day of no pants to make room for prosperity and habitants to come in the new year.

Its name, which means old year, comes from a holiday celebrated predominantly in Colombia, Ecuador, and Honduras. Honduras. It is a 7x38 lancero that uses an Ecuadorian Havana seed and natural wrapper, and a Honduran carol binder from Jamestran that has been aged for three years, and two-year age fillers from Esteli Nicaragua, and three-year age filler from Trojes? T-R-O-J-E-S in Honduras.

It has an MSRP of $11 per cigar. Trojays. Trojays. I thought it said Trojan at first.

I was like, oh, it's made by the condom people. It's made by the people with horses. Right. $11 per cigar is produced at Tabla Calera, Caffey, and Donnelly Honduras.

The Bravada Watt series will get its second release. How did those do? Did we sell those? Gone.

Oh, those are gone. Yeah. J. Fernandez, who makes every other cigar in the industry.

I bet you that one's a hit. It is a 6x50 Toro. And a Nicaraguan Puro with wrapper, a new hybrid leaf that was developed by Fernandez himself. Ooh.

"The new tobacco that AJ is using in the blend is unlike anything we have tried before," said Brian Disson of the LCA and Bravada Club, via a press release. " It's also $11. Right. Makes sense.

Everything's $11. 11 bucks. Rounding out the new releases, Michael, is the Twin Pines by Josh Joshy, J-O-C-H-Y, Joshy? - I don't know.

- Hochi Blanco. - Hochi. - Hochi, ah, Hochi Blanco. - Hochi Blanco.

- Yeah, DJ with the H thing there. - Hochi. - Hochi, Hochi. - Yeah.

- Hochi Blanco. Tablicalera, Palma. - Mm-hmm. - My factory.

- Palmer? - Palma. - Tabaculeta or Palmer. - Tabaculeta or Palmer.

It's a 5x50 box press for Busto that uses a Mexican San Andreas wrapper over a Dominican binder and filler. The cigar gets its name from Twin Pines Mall, which is featured in the movie Back to the Future, which is Jose Blanco's favorite. Hochi Blanco's favorite movie. Oh, really?

Back to the Future. Big Michael J. Fox fan he is. Serious?

Yes. Did he make the other one? No, Oscar did. No, Oscar didn't.

He made the Twin Times. The McFly or whatever the fuck? What? You know what I'm talking about.

I know who McFly is. There was a cigar made called something, the McFly or something. Oh, yes, I'm sure it is. He's a big Michael J.

Fox fan. No, but Oscar made it, not Hochi. Oh, well, maybe he's a big Michael J. Fox fan too.

And it was shiny. Oh, shiny. He was like a shiny wrapper. The LCA is not disclosing production numbers for any of the three releases, which are slated to begin shipping to stores today.

Hmm. Are they? Credit cards getting hit again, Michael. With the Añejo Viejo by Caffey won't be on sale until the 7th.

The other cigars can be sold. I don't know if I got an email on that one. I'll have to check up. Maybe we're not getting them.

Maybe we're not. That wouldn't be good. We're on the list now. I don't know.

Well, I mean, I don't know. I've had pretty good correspondence with Brian. We had a sponsor, Brian, he's gonna talk to him again? Yeah, we emailed back and forth.

We emailed back and forth, too much to a point where I was like, can I just fucking text you? And he gave me his phone number. Oh yeah, oh yeah, I got his number. Look at you, we're moving on up, moving on up, moving on up, to the east side.

C. Newman announced his intention to restore the historic Sanchez Haya Hotel, Michael. Okay. 1601 East Columbus Drive in Neymar City.

C. Newman's opening up a hotel. I'm surprised Bobby didn't tell me that when I called him. When you have so much money, you're kind of getting into, you know, it's like, what else are we going to do?

It's crazy over here. Aggressive expansion. We're getting in the hotel business. Our next Tampa project is the restoration of the historic Sanchez Haya Hotel across from the El Rio Cigar Factory in Tampa.

Built in 1910, the hotel served factory visitors and neighbors. Oh, so it makes sense. They have the factory and they might as well buy the hotel. Yeah, and it goes there over here.

Its stored restaurant and bar was a home to bootlegging during probation and gatherings in Tampa's criminal underworld. Decades ago. In the next few years, we will be working on restoring the Sanchez Hyatt building towards historic granure and reopening. It's a small inn, along with a cafe and cigar lounge.

Oh, lovely. Before we begin work, we first have to safely relocate our colony of up to 10,000 bats. Oh, there are bats in the belfry. There's 10,000 bats?

10,000 bats. In the? In the hotel. Wow.

We don't have to look for vampires. Can you just get a broom? Just fucking, ah! Get out of here.

No, that's ecologically unsound. Oh, it is? They eat bugs. Mosquitoes.

All right, so you can't just brush them out? No. What, are you gonna catch them all? Gotta go Batman.

Like fucking Pokemon? Gotta go Batman. Gotta catch them all? Gotta catch them all.

Batman, gotta go Batman. Okay. So we gotta get the bats. New hotel lounge, come up in late 2023.

Apparently it takes a long time to catch the bats. There is 10,000 of them. Right. One at a time.

Onesies, twosies. Got one. All good, keep going. I wonder if Bobby's doing it.

Got two. I don't think Bobby's doing it. Bobby, give me a call. I'll let him over and help me catch bats.

I don't think Bobby's doing it. In a press release, a new hotel we were located across the street from... C. Newman's general counsel.

Said in a press release, we realize that we need to provide more amenities for the bats to host our visitors. Restoring the... It doesn't say... Nothing about the bats.

Nothing about the bats? Nothing else, but the 10,000, they have 10,000 bats. Yeah. Vaguely mentioned.

Yes. The building itself was constructed in 1910 and was used as housing for cigar workers. The Sanchez Haya was home to a bootlegging operation during Prohibition. You already said all that.

This is, I don't know, it's at the bottom of the press release. What do you want me to do? I'm so angry all the time. I'm passionate.

It's not anger. I think it's anger. Well, I think that you don't know how to diagnose somebody. What are you, a fucking therapist?

Psychologist. Oh, you're a psychologist? Psychiatrist, he's a medical doctor. Oh, that's my other thing, a medical doctor.

Oh, so you got a degree in psychology? Yes. So you're a liar? No.

Lie about the Grinch, Lie about Buckinsick, okay, I see what we're dealing with. We're seeing things, I think I have hallucinations. JC Newman hires Aldo Punsino, Punsino, Punsino, Punsino, Punsino, as international sales director. I feel like I could have done that job.

JC Newman's now saying, you know, why don't you apply for these things? I don't understand. You've missed out on so many things over the last 12 months. I didn't know that was a possibility.

I see stuff on Facebook all the time. Do you speak multiple languages? Eh. Well, I mean, Punzioni sounds Italian.

Yeah. So, what's he speak Italian? This is the international guy. He probably speaks a bunch of languages because he's Italian.

I'm thrilled to welcome Aldo to our family. Oh, I see my friend Bobby, Executive Vice President via a press release. C. Newman cigars are sold in 86 countries around the world and my family and I are very excited that Aldo will be sharing our family's story in cigars in Europe.

Do you want to move to Europe? How big is the check? 10,000 bats. 10,000 bats worth?

Well, they have those available, apparently. I don't necessarily want to get paid in bets. Punzione brings more than a decade of experience in the cigar industry to his new role. How have we not heard of this man?

I have no idea. Most notably, he has been the owner of a successful cigar store in Venice, Italy. Oh, do you own a successful cigar store in Deltona, Florida? Yeah, I mean, what the hell?

Sounds very similar. Could have been me. Retail experience dating back some 11 years. He is also the president of the Venice Cigar Club.

Maybe I should have applied for this. Hey, the Florida Cigar Club. And I have 11 years of retail experience. He's got seven years of retail experience.

And you know Bobby. And I know Bobby! Surprised you didn't mention this on our weekly Zoom meeting. You should totally drop him a textbook.

I don't mean to nitpick here, but it could have been me. He's also a member of Cigar Journal Magazine's tasting panel. You know, that's kind of honorary. I don't think that's much to get that.

And he developed the Smoking Moses razor cut cigar cutter. Smoking Moses' razor cut cigar cutter. Never heard of that. Yeah.

It's not like a ZV. Yeah, not like the ZV cutter. Yeah, the ZV cutter. It's obviously very beautiful, gold and black, zinc, and stainless steel alloy.

It's true. I don't know what the problem is. Ah, let's see, where's Punzione? The Newmans welcome me and their beautiful family, and I'm really, oh, I guess he would be Italian, so it would be...

The Newmans welcome me and their beautiful... I want to be here, and I'm very happy to be here. I'm very happy to be here, I'm really honored to be here, face in Europe. We're gonna get to get there.

I'm living in a dream, a dream made of passion for cigars, and a love for the community of the cigar smoker. I really like a cigar. Punzione will be, oh, I'm sorry. C.

Newman's sales in Europe, and its European-bonded warehouse in Slovakia. Puzioni was in the olive oil business. In Slovakia? That's where the warehouse is.

Isn't that near Poland? Mm-hmm. Shit. I don't know.

It's closer than here? He succeeds the late Stefan... Ah, blah, blah, blah. Bastionians.

Bastionians. Bastionians. Bastionians. Bastionians.

Sounds like an angry country. Oh. Oh, we got attacked by the Bastionians! Who served in the role from 2018 until his untimely passing in 2020.

A moment of silence for Mr. Bastianio, Michael. Bow your head. Okay.

Black Label, Benediction returns a Smokers Abbey exclusive. More exclusive cigars for other people than us. This is not, it's not in the cards. One of Black Label Trading Company's original core lines, Benediction is coming back, is a store exclusive for Smokers Abbey.

Kim, we would like to have an exclusive. Kim? Kim, the rep for Black Label. Oh.

Smokini. Ah. Her name is Kim. Gotcha.

My friend. Yeah, you can't call her Smokini, remember? Smokin', you remember? " Oh.

The line was part of the company's portfolio when it debuted in 2013, but it was put on hiatus in 2019. Now the blend and packaging have both been modified as it heads to a retailer that has been a long-time supporter of the brand. The updated blend is Nicaraguan. Which Smokers Abbey?

What? What Smokers Abbey? Which one? Texas or Tennessee?

All of them, apparently. We stayed true to the original blend in body, strength, and wrapper, but added a touch more spice and complexity, said James Brown. Ah, I feel good. That's James Brown.

Creator of BLTC and partner of Fabriquia Oveja Negra. Thank you. Oveja Negra. In a press release, it is produced at Fabriquia Oveja Negra, the company's factory in Isla, Nicaragua.

The prediction will be offered in two vitolas. Guess, guess what's to do. Uh, Corona? No.

Robusto. Yes. Toro. No.

Lonzel. Wait, are you just going to name all of them? Yes. I mean, what do you want to do?

You were only supposed to guess twice. I got one of them. And Lonsdale. I said Lonsdale, you said no.

No, and that's when I asked you if you were just going to name all of them. That's when he got shitty with me. You should have just said yes and moved on. The initial production run is being limited to $150 of each Vitola for each of the three stores, The company has plans to make this an annual release.

The packaging's artwork has also gotten an update, which Brown said he created to reflect the aesthetics of the shops, in which combined perfectly with BLT's design, style, and... Ah, I feel good. I feel like you're angry because you have to keep your pants on for 13 more days. What am I on right now?

Well, this got awkward. I feel like you have pants on. Not like you have pants on either. You do just pantsless.

We've said that hundreds of times. We've established a great relationship. That's why we had the whole table built. Makes it weird.

We've established a great relationship with the owners of Smoker's Abbey over the years and have appreciated their support for our brand since the beginning. I don't feel they'll ever say that about us. Probably not. Probably not.

No. This just felt like a natural fit for our next shop exclusive. Angry. You know what, Mr.

Brown, we could do a shop exclusive here. Maybe the Tiger Lily. I don't think that'll ever happen. We should do the Tiger Lily here.

We could be exclusive. Okay. Smoker Abbey operates a location in Memphis and Nashville, Tennessee, as well as Austin, Texas. So, apparently, it's going to all three.

Memphis. Memphis, Nashville. Yep. Both in Tennessee.

Yep. And then in Austin, Texas. Mm-hmm. Ian's Place.

Yes. Hmm. Very nice. All right.

That's enough of the cigar news. That's enough of the cigar news? Enough of the cigar news. You've had it.

I've had it. There wasn't a lot of news this week. Interesting. I have a Florida story and a national story.

Okay. All right. Black Widow. You know Black Widow?

Yes. The movie has topped the list of Pornhub superhero searches. She's the number one search on Pornhub. But most views went to a more classic character though.

So people search for it, but they viewed something else. So some people superheroes aren't just characters. They're watching movies and TV shows. They're also objects of their fantasies.

So it's understandable why such character popular searches on Pornhub's website with a 2021 coming to a close, Pornhub has revealed the The Marvel Comics Black Widow ranked number one in the category of most site searches per month globally. Most disappointed people look because they settled for somebody else. Right, apparently. However, when it comes to video views, what do you think it was?

Male or female? Male. Spider-Man. Batman.

Batman. DC Comics, Batman. It's always Spider-Man. You always heard of it.

You just said Spider-Man because he's got a movie coming out. It's all the old school fans, they want to see Batman having sex. First of all, there's always a Spiderman movie coming out, because they make the most money. Do they really?

Oh my god, yeah. There's only the third one. The third redo. How many fucking Spiderman movies exist?

I don't count the other two, I don't like the other two guys. What other two? There was sequels in those other riffs. No, the other two actors who played Spiderman.

I like the new guy they have. I think there's been more than three. Tobey Maguire. Tobey Maguire.

And then the uglier English guy. And now the new kid. Yeah, Tommy something around. Tom something, I don't think it's Tommy, I think he's called Tom.

Yeah, well, we're close, I call him Tommy. Evidently, in 2021, superheroes wearing dark costumes were all the rage on Pornhub, including an X-rated, oh, including an X-rated animations, since the Black Widow movie, which arrived 11 years after Scarlett Johansson debuted as Natasha Romanoff in Iron Man 2, played such a big role in driving traffic for the character this year, I suspect that Batman's release in 2022 will help boost the Dark Knight's Pornhub popularity. We'll just have to regroup this time, uh, next year to see how things shook out on the sexiness front. Interesting.

So more people want to see Batman having sex than Black Widow. Well, they didn't, but they just couldn't find an acceptable Black Widow video. And they settled for Batman. Batman's got a full costume, you don't really see his face.

So, I mean, as long as you have the outfit on. You want me to free you? Right. I am Batman.

There's only one way to get out of this. Right. Maybe the Joker ties him up, you know, and then things happen. The Joker does a lot of tie, you know?

Oh man, if Robin gets involved, forget it. Oh, Batman, Robin, and then the girl. Not necessarily. Who's, who's Joker's girlfriend?

What's her name? Harley Quinn? Harley Quinn. Yeah, that's probably why.

Harley Quinn. All right, Michael, this one's for you. This story's for you. Oh, we can't wait.

Two days, this is another national story. Okay. Krispy Kreme is selling a dozen donuts for a dollar. Where?

Where? Why? Now? Let's go.

See? You like donuts on Sundays. Yes. Cookies get all the hype this time of year, but I dare say donuts deserve a little love in December too.

Of course, Krispy Kreme agrees. It's making a strong argument for holiday donuts by bringing back the Day of Dozens promotions. This week. This is Sunday.

On Sunday, December 12th, Krispy Kreme fans can buy a dozen original glazed donuts for a dollar. You know, what's funny is, I think they did this back when I was in high school because- They do this every year. It's an annual thing. Because my teacher, we would all say- I'll get them.

And, uh... Okay, when you buy a dozen, you get the second dozen for a dollar. Is that how that works? That's how this works, yes.

So you gotta buy two dozen? Yes. Hmm. Krispy Kreme rewards members can get in on the action starting today.

Oh, if you're a rewards member, you can start today. Perfect. So prepare to bring donuts to all your weekend functions and holiday festivities. In order to get the early bird special, Krispy Kreme customers must sign up for a Krispy Kreme account to receive the chain's offer via email.

My email, a reward account will help you claim day of dozen discounts early as well as future promotions that become available. I think the only Krispy Kremes around here though is the one by the Millennium Mall. There's one up at Daytona. That's the other direction.

That's even further away from me. Yeah. But it's a dollar. Oh, I only got to drive 30 miles to get there.

Right. Can't wait. Well, you can eat the donuts on the way back. Super excited.

It's like a little price. You got to have the nutrient timing. If you're going to eat all that shit, you got to eat it post-workout. Sundays, you eat all that shit.

Sunday, you load the family in the car, you drive up to Krispy Kreme, you get your donuts, you go to the beach, you spend the day at the beach, and then you come back, you get another dozen, two dozen, and you eat them on the way home. I don't want to go to the beach. Why not? Maybe your lovely family would like to go to the beach.

A lot of sharks at that beach. No, that's Daytona. Don't go to New Smyrna. The sharks are a little further south.

Daytona's where the pedophiles are. Oh, good. Allegedly. City of Daytona.

Allegedly, yeah. Yeah, do not show us, please. Do not show us. I'm just kidding.

He's just kidding. But the donuts are real. Florida, Florida story now. Okay.

We're 56 minutes. This works out perfectly. Florida man uses a flamethrower to settle a parking dispute. I like that.

Maybe it was your little thing there. Argument. That's called like a stoic. Andre Abrams, 57, of Gainesville, faces three counts of felony aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

Who has a flamethrower this day and age? Apparently Andre Abrams. A Florida man, angry over his neighbor's parking habits, sprayed fire from a commercial flamethrower towards a car with three teenagers inside, police said: Andre, 57, of Gainesville, Mr. Abrams, 57, of Gainesville, facing three counts of felony aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intending to kill.

According to court records, he posted a $15,000 bond last week and is awaiting a decision whether The prosecutors were formally filed criminal charges. The mother of one of the teens, Ashley Ganey, said Abrams frequently sprayed the flamethrower to scare off guests at their home. Her daughter, Natalia Baker, 16, fled the car with her friends. " As Abrams continued to spray flames toward them, police said.

" "When he shoots, it lights the whole road up," Ganey said. " What is this? Is he related to Ponzi? It could be.

I don't know. I'm just reading the quote. Okay. He'll do it in the middle of the night.

In his arrest report, police identified the weapon in November 30th incident as a XM42 light flamethrower. I would now like to add to my list of things I'd like for Christmas an XM42 light flamethrower. I'm sure it's on Amazon. We could probably have it here today.

Which shoots flames 20 feet and is manufactured by X Products LCC of Vancouver, Washington. Mr. Weisson, if you'd like to advertise on the show, Mr. X Products, LLC in Vancouver, just send us one.

Are you going to demonstrate it? Yes, right here in the room. 20 feet? Is that from here to the door?

That's past the door. We'll put it on low. Is there a low option? Is there a low setting, perhaps?

Anybody need a light? Ooh, it sells for $900. This is your own price. Oh, perfect.

So, let me ask you. Yes. The real question here. Yes.

Are they still going to park in that area? I would say, time he gets out of jail, they're not going to park there. How is this probably time to move? When you're, you know, when your neighbor's that fucking crazy, somebody always winds up dying.

Somebody, eventually. It's just best to just list it. This day and age, this market, that house goes. Right.

Oh, how do you sell that house? You don't mention the neighbor. Right. Don't you have to full disclose in their full disclosure thing?

Yeah, I don't, and there is no full... So many crimes committed in this house? Oh, the neighbor's got a flamethrower, brother, no. No, you don't have to disclose that.

He's great at barbecue. You don't have to disclose that flamethrower neighbor. I haven't seen that. No?

No. You don't have to disclose a death in the house. And I would say the man next door does a lot of barbecues. And really loves to cook.

Really loves to cook over fire. People. They just mumble. All right, Michael, who's listener of the week?

Listener of the week is my dear friend. My dear friend. My dear friend. No, he's mine.

No, he's mine. We're TikTok friends. We are TikTok friends. You would know him if you didn't know me.

So? He's my friend first. How do you know? Maybe you wouldn't know him if you didn't know me.

No, that's not true. You don't know how things have changed. Things might have changed if I didn't come into your life. That's not true.

Yes. You might have been a hermit. Mr. Adam Acree.

Mr. Adam Acree, my TikTok friend, is listener of the week. I liked three of your videos just last night, Mr. Acree.

He gives me updates. Him and his wife do. That one, everybody's doing one in the head. Him and his wives are out on a date.

They did three on a date night, it looked like. That's nice. Yes. I gotta get on TikTok.

I'm not really on there that much. I just watch things. But I mean... That sounds kind of creepy, I'm not gonna lie.

No, it's what it's for. It's a little three-minute videos. I just watched. But sometimes there's recipes, sometimes there's how to do stuff.

Yeah. A lot of times, lately, it's just a lot of women with flashlights. It's kind of weird. Women with flashlights?

Yeah, they're all doing this light thing. I'm getting tired of it. The light ring thing? Well, there was some kind of ding-dong ditch thing that was going on.

I didn't see that. I heard about it on the news. It was going on in my neighborhood. Oh.

It's just funny that people get so pissed off about it. Can you believe these people knocked on? I'm like, yeah. Holy ding dong, everybody's got video doorbells nowadays.

Yeah, but when you were a kid, you did that shit. Oh, sure we did. And there was no videos. Yeah, we'd bang on fucking garage doors at three o'clock in the morning.

Oh, they get you shot nowadays. All right, let's shop of the week, Michael. We were fast runners. The shop of the week...

I didn't poop. is International House of Stogies. International House of Stogies! We're at a bakery shops.

No, it's just outside of Houston. Just outside of Houston. It is in Missouri City, Texas. Oh, very nice.

Mm-hmm. All right, um, this is, uh, you have anything else? I have nothing else to add. All right, this has been episode 204 of Cigar Hustler Podcast.

If you're a Patreon, we'll be doing that next. 204. The La Pesce Reserve, the Danish thing. The La Pesce.

The Danish chef guy. Mm-hmm. I wonder if it's like the one on 7th Street. All right, guys, we're going to go.

We'll talk to you later. Bye. The Cigar Hustlers podcast, its owners, and its sponsors take no responsibility for the opinions or statements made by the talk show host or their guest. Statements or show topics are not necessarily the beliefs of Mike and Mike Productions or the podcast providers, and opinions between talk show hosts may differ.

It is not our intention to libel, incite, or hurt anyone's feelings. We invite you to write the show's host, Mike Szczefankiewicz, with any feedback or suggestions that you have for their shows. These broadcasts are presented and made public as entertainment, in the hope that they will be entertaining to the audience. This has been a Cigar Hustlers Podcast, a Mike and Mike production.

m. for all new episodes. Hi, I'm doing, I'm Husto-I-Raw. Yeah, we just don't have to do a single, uh, single podcast ever again.

Perfect. I'm good, Mike and Mike. How are you guys doing? The Hojo, the...

Hojo! It's the Hojo! He didn't even let him fuck it up all the way. I gotta get past Hojo!

I don't even have to try it. He's not even gonna try it. We're gonna, we're gonna cover a lot of ground here, Mike. All right, try to keep up.

That's a sign of a good podcast. It'd be like four cigars when I walked in a door. All right, end this.

Show Notes

LCA has more cigars!  Someone has a flamethrower and Donuts for a dollar!!!