208 This has been 4 years

Episode Summary

Episode 208 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast celebrates the show's fourth anniversary with hosts Mike Szczepankiewicz and Mike Palmer. The first half is pure banter: a birthday weekend at Top Golf, Mike's disastrous run of accidentally destroying a TV with a thrown toy dinosaur and then cracking his wife's windshield while swapping wiper blades, and a front-row confrontation at a Buccaneers game with a fan who wanted two eight-year-olds to sit down. There's also an honest aside about lingering loss of taste and smell and how it's affecting the hosts' cigar reviews (and the Patreon smoking segment).

The news segment is the meat for cigar shoppers. The guys walk through RoMa Craft Tobac's newly published 2022 release calendar — the company's craft-beer-style approach of announcing an entire year of limited and annual releases at once, accounting for roughly 13% of production. They cover Q1 month by month: January's Aquitaine, Intemperance BA XXI Gran Perfecto and Revenge, Intemperance EC XVIII Goodness and Whiskey Rebellion 1794 Gran Perfecto; February's Baka Gran Perfecto, CroMagnon Black Irish (a Candela-striped version of the CroMagnon EMH) and Intemperance EC XVIII Gran Perfecto; and a stacked March that includes Neanderthal C3, El Catador de las Gran Coronas sampler, Baka Jengi, Neanderthal HS and — the big surprise — Wunder|Lust Fiorella potentially coming to the States, plus European-only releases like Casa Torres 20 Años Gran Robusto.

Also covered: Lampert Cigars' new Gold Retailer Program with two exclusive, year-aged Costa Rican-made cigars (the Limitada Salomón and the 9.25 x 48 Limitada A) and the nine shops carrying them, price increases from Gran Habano, J.C. Newman and Dapper Cigar Company, and Oliva Cigar Company's promotion of four longtime employees — Ian Hummel, Jeff Nolan, Nick Zagalifa and John Mailänder — into new sales leadership roles. The shop itself announces internal promotions for Mike Palmer, Chet Atwell and crew, followed by the usual Florida crime story, a Houston trunk/COVID story, and Listener and Shop of the Week honors going to Brett Frye and Tobacology.

In This Episode

1. 01
   Four-Year Anniversary
   Episode 208 marks the end of the show's fourth year in cigar media, complete with a gag anniversary gift pen.
2. 02
   Top Golf, Dinosaurs and a Broken Windshield
   Mike recounts a birthday weekend of accidentally destroying a TV with a toy dinosaur and cracking a windshield changing wiper blades.
3. 03
   Standing Up at the Bucs Game
   A front-row run-in with a fan who wanted two eight-year-olds to sit down during their first NFL game.
4. 04
   Losing Taste and Smell
   The hosts talk candidly about lingering congestion, blunted palate, and how it sidelines cigar reviewing.
5. 05
   RoMa Craft Tobac's 2022 Release Calendar
   A month-by-month walkthrough of RoMa Craft's Q1 2022 releases, from Intemperance and CroMagnon Black Irish to Neanderthal and the Wunder|Lust Fiorella surprise.
6. 06
   Lampert Gold Retailer Program
   Two exclusive year-aged Lampert Limitada cigars sold only through nine designated Gold Retailers, and who those shops are.
7. 07
   Price Increases and Oliva Promotions
   Gran Habano, J.C. Newman and Dapper announce price hikes while Oliva elevates four longtime employees into sales leadership.
8. 08
   Cigar Hustler Team News, Listener & Shop of the Week
   In-house promotions at Cigar Hustler plus Listener of the Week Brett Frye and Shop of the Week Tobacology.

Brands & Cigars Discussed

Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.

Transcript

Welcome to episode 208, Cigar Hustler Podcast, the number one cigar show on Podbean, the number two cigar show you should be following in 2022. We should write to that company. We score number two every year. We feel that we should be number one.

Well, they go through hundreds and thousands of podcasts and information and sounds like quite the process. You too can become part of our podcast family and invest in our show. Put your products in front of thousands of listeners and viewers every episode. com.

Please remember to rate, comment, and subscribe on whichever of our providers you use. Yes. Hi, Mike. Hello, Mike.

I think I just saw you. You're like, you're like, you're like, I'm going to be a Mike, you were a ball of fun today. I'm a little tired today. I don't know what it is.

Wow. So I'm just going to have to put you on the back. You're going to have to carry the show. As always.

Standard. Carry the show. This is another day for me. Not the seven or eight pages of content I have here for the show.

Oh, good for you. Keep going. So you can use my paper, my printer, and hit the print button. Good for you.

No, I do all the work at home, and then I print it. All that work. On my own free time when I'm at home. Free time?

What are you talking about? I have no free time. Is there paid time? No, there's no paid time.

There's no paid time. There's no paid time in there. It's all free time. It's all free time, baby.

It's all free at this point. Yeah. So we went and celebrated your lovely wife's 22nd birthday this weekend. We did, 22.

22. Wow, it's amazing, all those children at 22. Yeah, yeah. We got her going early.

Early, early, like 12. Yeah. And we were both 12. Right.

Amazing. That Polish mmm. Polish mmm. I didn't want to say sperm.

She wanted it. It sounded weird. Yeah, it's weird. You're talking about my sperm is weird.

That's where I draw the line. Oh, now I'm going to bring that word up all the time. Oh, I really don't care. I'm just, you know.

So what? Yeah, she wanted to do Tom Golf. Oh, that was her choice. Oh, wait, I said, oh, let's do Tom Golf.

Have you been there before? Yeah, she actually did a birthday party with kids there. She went to a kid's birthday party. She's like, I want my birthday party.

She was actually quite good. I watched her a few times. Yeah, yeah. Her dad, you know, taught her all that shit.

Ah, yeah. Yeah. Did I ever tell you, like, when I was 21 or 22, and you know, last year, yeah, no, but when I was really 21 or 22, I was a bartender and I had entirely too much money, so I was like, I'm gonna learn how to play golf. Did you just watch a cocktail or something and find out you're gonna hang out with rich people and no, because you do have all, you usually do have a self-help book somewhere in your, I love self-help books, right?

Yes, you're the Tom Cruise of the cigar industry. Tom Cruise, yeah, that's what I am. Yes. So, I went ahead and I was like, you know what?

Does that mean the old guy's got to kill himself on the boat? Pretty much, yeah. Oh, great. Yeah, you're going to do yourself in.

Right. The Louis Trey crystal. Yeah. That's an $800.

Now it's not an $800. That was in the 80s. It's probably like a $2,000. Oh, wow.

Really? So, yeah, I got these golf lessons back in that day. Yes. And, you know, I was excited because I was learning golf and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And I did probably- Not the yada, yada? No, yada. Just the blah. It's like, I don't know, maybe two months worth of lessons once a week, you know, something like that.

Oh, you could SOTA. You know. Oh, yeah, yeah. And so then I tapped my girlfriend at that time, who's now my wife.

Oh, oh, not a different girl. She, I said, "Why don't you, hey, why don't you meet me at the driving range and we'll hit some golf balls. This is pre-top golf. " Oh, yeah.

Well, yes. There's no one that's thinking of that. At this point, it's just this green and you just whack balls. That's the way all the golf things look in China.

They have those things everywhere. The top golf? Yeah. But it's not called top golf.

It's called bottom golf? It's called China golf. I don't know. China golf?

Those things are everywhere. Because they're very limited space. They call it coronavirus? So they stack people.

Yeah. But anyway, you went to go hit a bucket of balls. Yeah. So I went to go and I sucked.

You made ball jokes all through the night? No, no. So I sucked. Every time I shot a ball, it would either just go off on the ground.

" No. No, there were no ball jokes. It seemed like an opportunity miss there. miss there i would hit the golf ball and it would go right or i'd hit the golf ball and it would go left nothing went straight nothing straight and then my girlfriend goes up and she hits it and whack-a-mole there it goes straight down straight down look at that straight down and that was the last time you took her to hit and i never touched my clubs again i quit i said fuck this i'm not doing this this is ridiculous oh and that was the end of it i've taken lessons twice yeah I just don't like it.

I don't like golf. It was fun. I was having a good time. Yeah.

Well, no, it was fun going to the thing, right. But to run around in 18 holes, ugh. I think that people really like it. You know, it's peaceful.

I get that. Yeah. I get that. I understand.

I don't know. You guys were in our little booth or whatever that thing was called, that little slot there. You guys were whacking them. Oh, yeah.

We were having fun. The girls were over there just. Yeah. You guys were.

Trying to get as far as possible. Yeah. We are men. Right.

That's what we do. We needed to hit the end. Dr. Baldwin's lovely wife went to the next booth, 'cause you guys are just too...

Well, I mean, the girls, you know, the girls should hang out with the girls, like they... Well, Kayla stayed there, but she wasn't swinging. Yeah, but Kayla can be antisocial, she's gotta, you know, she sits there and sits next to Drew. Right.

I didn't get any, I didn't hear anything from her. We, you know, we haven't hung out with Drew and Kayla for... You know, I was surprised they left when I left. I feel like it's been like a year.

I figured they would stay longer after Chet and I checked out. Yeah, they saw that I was getting tired. Oh, didn't they? They noticed.

Your other family sort of bugged out early. I was very surprised. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. The Manny had to work the next morning or something.

The Manny had to work, yeah, so we give them a pass. We give them a pass. Did they all write together? They did.

The Manny, the teacher, and the sister? Yeah. Oh, so they all had to go. Yeah, whatever.

Mika just disappeared. That's standard. Is it? Yeah, that's standard approach.

She just vanishes. The Virginia Slims. Right. Yeah, that's pretty funny.

The mentholated. Mm. So I got three stories for you. Oh!

Number two! I picked number two! And I don't know how to explain this. Uh-oh.

All three stories... Yes. make me look like I have a fucking serious problem. Like I have serious anger management issues.

But yes. And I promise you, I swear, I was not angry. Do you like to do one a week or the next three weeks? No, no, I'm gonna lay 'em all out now.

Oh, okay. I promise you, I was not angry at any three of these situations that have occurred. Any one of the three. Any one of the three.

I was totally calm. I wasn't gassed up. Please go ahead. By any way, shape, or form.

I'm going to go in order of the weekend. Okay. So, I'm prepping the house for the birthday party. You know.

Lovely decoration. Thank you. Excellent job. Yes.

You got the big 3-7 balloons. Yes, it looks like she was 73 years old. Yeah, it looks like she was 73. and so I'm prepping things and Brittany's out grocery shopping so I have the kids and one kid is sleeping Teddy's taking her nap so the boys are playing games or whatever playing video games Fortnite but there's like these dinosaurs and shit like this whole oh now see you told me this story already when I left your house alright go ahead but I gotta tell the story yes yes yes there's this whole there's like this is why we don't hang out right there's like three or four animal dinosaur things right on the counter from Justice the little guy Okay.

And like, I'm adamant about just, hey listen, I need everything clean. Oh, they weren't, they didn't belong to both boys? No, it was just the one. It was just the one.

Ah, okay. But I don't give a shit. Right. Like, I don't care.

It's like, if we all just work together, we can get it done. Like, there's this thing called synergy. It's where the sum is greater than its parts. Right?

It's a whole thing. So I try to explain this to my kids. And you know, they don't give a shit. It's like, fuck you, dad.

So I'm like, hey, I need these dinosaurs picked up. picked up i need to i'm trying to set up for the party and they're just sitting there on the couch playing their video games and they don't respond so i'm like okay fuck it so i take one and i just smack it off the uh counter right because i want it to hit the ground and make noise and let them understand that this needs to be handled okay no response why why is it the older ones uh a job to clean up after the little one i just need them to move i just need shit to get done There was other things that needed to be picked up as well, but that was the one thing I was focusing on. Right. It's like, hey, I need this stuff cleaned up and there's other things that need to be cleaned up.

Right. But like, it's like, I don't, it's not that one, the older one should pick up after the little one. It's that if we all just kind of work together and pick up everybody's shit at one time, if like, hey, we're all cleaning up, don't look at it and say, well, that's not mine. Well, he had stuff of his that needed to be picked up also.

Yeah, there are other things in other spots. I thought it was just dinosaurs. Like, they do the, well, the thing that I was focusing on was the dinosaurs. With the dinosaurs.

Right. So, but I can tell you that, like, the fucking towels, every night, every night for shower time. Well, it's because you guys... Well, we reuse, they get fresh towels every night.

Right. So, I mean, there's towels everywhere. So, here's what happens with their towels. One kid will just dump his in the bedroom, and then another kid will dump his in the bedroom.

Right. So, I'll just say, somebody pick these up, and if somebody picks up one towel and goes to throw it away, or put it, not throw it away, but put it in the laundry room. Put it in the laundry room. I'm like, pick up the other fucking towel.

I know it's not yours, but make it easy for everybody else. Well, see, that's what they're doing. They're like, let's say whoever goes has to pick them up both. So I'm not going.

I'm not doing it. You're doing it. You're doing it. You're doing it.

It's your turn. They're children. That's the way it works. So I whacked the first dinosaur.

Right. No movement. So I increase a lot. Wait, how big are these dinosaurs?

Like this. Oh, so good size. Yeah, they're decent. Oh, okay.

I was picturing like, you know, little, little dinosaur. No movement. So then I whacked the car, the Jurassic Park car, which has to be like the size of a cigar box, yeah, about the size, maybe a little bit smaller, and I make sure that I hit the couch, and it goes poof, and it hits the couch, now they're paying attention, and I'm like, I asked you guys to pick this stuff up, I need to get this stuff off the counter, we need to clean this house up before mommy gets home, so we can surprise her with the birthday decorations, there's still minimal movement, it's alright, I'm lying. Whoever moves first has to get them.

Yeah, that's kind of where I'm at, there's like a level of debate of, "Well, do I get up? Do you get up? " Those are yours. Come on, Jack.

They're Justice's toys. Well, I'm just, you run into anything. So the next one, I increase velocity, and it goes, whoom, hits the top of the couch, parlays, and flies into the fucking TV. See, now it makes more sense.

I pictured a small dinosaur hitting the television. No, the large. Yes. But I'm going to tell you, the fragility of these TVs is- Well, it's a very big thing to be hitting with.

I mean, come on. So I hit the TV. Big giant molded plastic dinosaur with sharp points. And so, listen, I have it set up.

So the TVs are cheap. They're like 100, 150 bucks. Yeah, TVs are nothing anymore. You know, so I, for me, the way that we choose to parent our kids, I like having them in the family room.

I don't want them in their rooms playing video games. I feel like that's where, you know, bad shit can happen. We let them go, and then all of a sudden, you know, they're fucking saying inappropriate things to kids on the mics, you know, or they're hearing - I'm gonna fucking kill you next time I see it! Yeah, or they hear shit, you know, like, so I have all that, all that's dialed down - Yo little boy, what are you wearing?

Yeah, so I want to make sure that I can see all that at all times, right? Just because they're young. So I have three TVs set up in this family room, two up top for the boys, and then Teddy's is on the lower one, which plays Disney Junior or whatever the fuck. Right.

So of course, the one - If you have any more children, you're gonna need a bigger wall. You need a bigger wall. I think I'm good. I think I'm done with the three.

Believe me, I'm done. So, I, I whacked this. Time for the knife. You need the knife now to fix this?

So, I whacked this dinosaur. What knife? For what? Fix it so you don't have no more children.

No, no, no. Let's not do that now. Right on the show. So, I whacked this dinosaur.

This dinosaur parlays off the couch. Flings. You didn't put somebody's eye out. Flies into the TV.

Yeah, well, hey. It's got a pointy tail. It's got to have horns. It's got a little claws.

Yeah, they got two eyes. Whatever. Or Petch. Or Petch.

You're now a pirate. TV breaks. TV's done. It's cooked.

It's over. It's over, Johnny. And it's Jax's TV. It's not Jax's TV.

Oh. So Jax starts to have this meltdown. And like, I'm not mad. So like, I'm not yelling at anybody or anything like that.

Yet. And I see him having this meltdown. I'm like, see, this is what happens. And this is how I'm talking.

See, this is what happens when you guys don't move. I asked you guys to move. And now look, now you don't have a TV. It's not my dinosaurs, dad!

And that's what he said, and I go, I don't care, I need all of this stuff picked up. But it's not mine! No, that was it, it was over. I didn't have to shout, he was already upset.

I'm like, calm down. It's not my dinosaurs. So I wasn't angry, but I destroyed a team. Did he hit his brother?

No, he didn't hit his brother. Pick up your goddamn dinosaurs! He did not hit his brother. Alright, so then Brittany comes home.

Yeah, so that was story one. Yes. Okay. And I explained to Brittany about the TV.

I broke the TV, Brittany. I'm like, I'm sorry. You did it with a dinosaur. I broke the fucking TV.

I broke the TV. And she got windshield wipers. Did she say? Michael Joseph fucking dare burn you with my smokes.

That's what she said when you said I broke the TV. So I said I broke the TV, I'm gonna have to get into the TV. So she went shopping and she picked up windshield wipers for her car. Right.

I'm like, this is her birthday weekend and we're gonna start, I'm like, I'm gonna take care of these windshield wipers right now for you. Oh, he broke the windshield wiper. I'm going to take care of this right now. Get this done.

You broke the car. So I go to the car, and I remove the first windshield wiper, and I install the windshield wiper blade. Seamless. It was like...

Yeah, one of them always goes on easy. I'm like, this is perfect. All right, this is easy peasy, click, click, all in, ready to go. All right, cool.

Let me get to the second one. But now the second one's at a weird angle. You know what? Let me take my time on this.

I'm going to get a stool. I'm going to make sure that I'm properly positioned. Right. But I don't stress out about this, you know, because I've already broke the TV.

I've already broke the TV. Yeah. Your tab for the evening was $700. So the windshield wiper is stuck, I can't get the first one to come off, so I push it, and then it cracks, and I'm like, okay, cool, well, it's broken, you know.

Yeah, it'll come off anyway. Yeah, now I can remove it off. Right. So I go to remove it off, and then the bottom part slides out, and the fucking metal rail smacks down against the windshield and cracks down.

Cracks the fucking windshield. Oh my lord, Michael. Cracks the fucking windshield. And I'm like, oh my god, this is the most expensive weekend I've ever had in my life.

You just said you got hit by a rock. Florida, they fix the windshields for free. I know, it's already set up. Okay.

So... The home guy coming to your house to... They don't even ask how it happens. Is your windshield broken?

Oh, they don't care. Is your windshield broken? Yes, it's broken. What did it happen?

It happened today. It happened about 20 minutes ago. They didn't say what happened. They said...

You see, I was... No, sir, we just really don't care. We don't care. We don't care.

We're going to bill your insurance, $7,000. No, actually, I, the insurance, now, like, it's designed where you just go through the insurance company so that they don't do that. That's why they don't fight you. Oh, you go to your insurance company, not with whatever the name of that company is.

Right. Well, SafeLite. SafeLite, that's it. Yeah, but you go through the insurance company.

Right. So I've called the insurance, you know, I reached out to the insurance company via the app, and I've had emails from them where they're like, just please, if the windshield is fucked up, just contact us. Please don't go through them, you know. All right.

So I just go through them. They don't ask any questions. So I'm like, okay, great. So I walk into the car or walk into the house and I just-- Oh, before you go in, you already have the repair set up.

No, no. So I walk into the house or Brittany pops out and she's like, what's wrong? And I'm like, I just broke the fucking windshield. Broke the windshield.

She goes, did you hit it with a dinosaur, Michael? Are you serious? And I'm like, yeah. Michael Joseph.

Burn you. Burn you with my smokes. But again, I was not angry. I just shattered the window.

Seems like you're getting angry. Breaking things all day Saturday. I'm gonna tell you the one time, the third story, I might have gotten a little angry. Somebody died.

No, somebody tried fucking with my kids. Oh, well, yeah. But it wasn't enough. You call Papa Mike next time.

But it wasn't enough. So, I took the boys, Jax and his best friend Levi, and Justice to the Bucks game. Oh, yeah, I saw that. With the goat heads.

Yeah, with the goat. We had goat hats. Yeah, goat hats. Here to see the goat.

Here to see the goat. And the goat didn't disappoint. Put on a show. It was beautiful.

It was a beautiful game. Now, Jack's his best friend. First time to a game. Right.

We have great seats. I was a season ticket holder when the Bucs were insignificant. Right. And because of that, I have front row seats.

Oh, nice. I've never been. You want to go this Sunday? No, no, I'm busy.

Oh, no, I can't actually. Jake's coming to town. You can go this Sunday, 1 o'clock. Newly engaged.

We'll go to the Eagles game. I guarantee you, we'll get into a fight. Eagles fans are the worst. No, I'm not going.

Come on, it'll be great. No. Anyway, go ahead. So, we get in, we sit down and stuff, and the boys, they're excited, you know, it's a stadium, it's a football game, they're standing up, right?

But they're not that tall. They're eight years old. They're only eight years old, you know, we're not talking about, you know, grown ass men standing. Yeah, they're not a six foot tall thing, right.

So the gentleman behind them says, excuse me, excuse me. So I turn my head and I go, yeah. He goes, can you tell your kids to sit down? So I looked right at him.

No. And I said, no. No. You're at a fucking football game.

We're not in a movie theater. Get up off your fucking ass. If you don't want to, if you have to sit, if you have to sit through this whole game, Maybe you should be in a fucking suite, in a box, or sit in the front row where there's nobody in front of you, so you can sit and be good, like, I don't understand that, but like, and if it was me, I would have had no problem, so sorry, man, I'll sit down, but you just told me to tell two fucking eight-year-old kids that you could just move slightly to see where the fuck they're at, to sit the fuck down, and this is a kid's first game? I'm like, dude, I'm gonna fucking whoop your ass, man.

Like, this conversation ends here. No. No. Back to the game.

So then I felt a little bad. I was like, "Hey guys, do you guys want to sit? " So they sat down, but then they got up for the rest of the game. And I'm not telling them to sit the fuck down.

Nope. They get tired? Football games are long. No, they were leaning against the rail.

They're trying to get the beads and stuff from people and you know, they had a great time. But I ain't, you know, like if you're gonna- Hey goat, throw it over here! If you're gonna be that guy that's like, "Oh, I, you know- Kronk, I want to try some of that Kronk PowerAid stuff. I need everybody to sit down, and he had a DeSantis hat, so you may want to call Ron about that.

Oh, at least you got one. No, he had a DeSantis 2024. Would you like him to call? Would you like Ron to call the show right now?

Yeah, yeah, have Ron call him. Yeah, sorry about that. Woo, sorry about that man passing on them hats! I just think that it was funny as shit, you know, that this guy was that inconvenienced by two little kids standing up.

Don't know, I wasn't there. Have you gone to a stadium before? Yes. I haven't been down the front row though.

Do you make people sit down in front of you? Sit down. Sit down. Sit down.

Like that's fucking ridiculous. I don't care where everybody stands up. I'm wondering if he'll be at the next game. He doesn't always sit behind you?

No, usually there's, so like a lot of people will sell their seats. Right. So every time I've been there, I've been stuck behind fucking really fat Saints fans. How are you behind someone in your front row?

I mean, like, they have been behind me, you know, like, I've had a fair share of obnoxious people behind me, but whatever, it's a sport. Oh, you can use it on the visitor's side. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, but whatever, it's a football game. Right. " He's getting very many opportunities to jump around. No, then she says, "That's my baby!

" Oh! And then everybody starts clapping for her and stuff. Oh, it was really, oh, that was her son. Yep.

Maybe she just likes that player. No, no, that's her son. Maybe like you, when you yell at, uh, what's his name? You say, he's your baby.

No, she, nope. No? " Mama still gets her airplane. Mm-hmm.

Oh, isn't that nice. So yeah, I'd like to hear other people's thoughts on that, you know, if people chime in and comment on the YouTube page or whatever. Comment on the YouTube page, if you think Michael Over did it with the broken planes and airplanes. I don't think, I mean, not even all that, I just don't think I overdid with this fucking guy.

Nah, you said, I mean, you said no, you didn't have an argument with the man, and then you asked the kids to sit, but they got excited, so. I'm not gonna have them sit. Right. I'm not gonna have them sit.

I mean, not like you're standing in the chairs, usually they were leaning on the front rails. Right. I'm not gonna be like, sit down, sit down, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, I can't be excited.

Right, you're only talking about this much difference between sitting and them standing, probably. Right. Even that. And I'm like, do you, and this guy's a skinny guy, I'm like, do you see what you're, what are you trying to talk to?

It was such a mistake. He didn't anticipate your reply. He didn't, he figured that I would just comply. He thought you'd just go, oh yes, I'm very sorry.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Boys, boys, sit down. Yeah. That's why he didn't say shit while they stood the rest of the game.

When you said no, was he going to ask you again? Yes. No, you don't poke the bear. I told you to get you.

I heard you get you down. Because I could probably parlay him over us into the field. Right. Oh, I'm ruined.

Police officers, get this man. I don't have a foo noise. You don't have a foo noise? What is scary.

Oh, that's stupid. So that was my week. That was my weekend of breaking shit and... It's a very funny story, Mike.

I'm not being angry. Very funny story. Yeah. Wow.

Okay. Did you break anything? No, no, no. Did you get in a fight with anybody?

No, my wife's quarantined. Your wife's quarantined? So we didn't do anything other than coming out. I'll tell you what, I've had a stuffy nose for two weeks, I still can't taste anything.

She's had three tests, three COVIDs, and a flu, and still negative, but they quarantined her because she has symptoms. Because whatever, that's what's going around. That's what's going around. Might as well, everybody else is quarantining, so if I could.

I mean, I don't understand it. You know, at this point in the game, I know that I've said this over and over again, and we've probably lost viewers or listeners. But the fact of the matter is, you know, like I've had a stuffy nose. My kids have had stuffy nose.

I have a two year old in daycare work. Right, he comes on with different illness every day. There's a different level of snot at least every three days. It's like, you know, so what do I do every time that somebody gets a stuffy nose and you want me to go shove a fucking Q-tip up my nose?

I mean, I'm not doing it. Right. I'm not doing it. Sorry.

And, you know, if I can't taste anything, I can't taste anything. I mean, it could just be from sinuses. Oh, you can't taste, I mean, I understand that's why we're not doing the Patreon, because you can't breathe or anything, but... Yeah.

It's not that you can't taste that cigar, you can't taste anything? So, I can taste specific things. I can taste, like, for whatever reason, this War Bear, I can taste it. I can taste parts of it, no problem.

I can taste sweet things. Right. Like, very sweet things. Right.

I can taste very salty things. Right. But I, you know, but there's like a whole lull of me not being able to take, there's like a lot of shit that I can't taste. Well, they say a lot of taste is involved in the smell.

Right, right, so if your nose is clogging, you ain't gonna taste shit. But you used to have the standard, I have a cold, everything tastes bland. Right. Yeah.

But like, you know, the problem is like, you think that, okay, well, I can't really taste anything, so I'm gonna not eat anything fun and exciting. You know, I can, I can lose some weight. If I couldn't absolutely taste anything, I would eat stuff that I normally wouldn't eat that might be better for me. Oh, yeah, that's, that's, that's what I'm saying.

Like, let's say theoretically that that's your approach. My approach is the polar opposite. If what I've been doing is I know that sweet things can, can trigger it. Like I can taste that.

You can taste it. Ooh, let me try this. Oh, you're craving to taste things. Yeah.

Let me try this to see if I can fucking taste better. Did you taste the cake at the party? Uh, I could taste the red velvet. I couldn't taste the chocolate.

Oh, weird. Right. I had the red velvet. It was very good.

Yeah, the red velvet was fantastic. It was really good. I agree. And I'm not normally an icing guy, but the icing wasn't over It's super sweet.

Normally icing's too sweet for me. No, it's just sweet enough. Yeah, it was very good. Yeah, Lexi's very good at that.

What was in between the layers? That wasn't icing. Was that like pudding or something? That was icing, and the chocolate cake was Bavarian cream.

Oh. It might have been in the red velvet, was it? Mm-mm. It didn't taste like icing in between.

It was like icing. Like pudding or something. Oh. Magic Lexi stuff.

I'll have to ask her. Magic Lexi stuff. Get her to do my cake next year. Oh.

All right, we got a commercial. We're almost at 30 minutes. Okay. This is your favorite item we do a commercial for, Michael.

It is actually my favorite item. It's your favorite item. It really is. It's a Zifee Cigar Cutter Stainless Steel V-Cut Cigar Cutter Built-In Cigar Puncher.

Oh wait, that's the wrong one. That's the wrong words. It's got the puncher. Yeah, it's got the punch.

It's got the lighter. It's the lighter, not the cutter. It doesn't have the V-Cut. It has the punch, and it has the...

It's got the window. The window for the stainless steel. I can say everything about this item. Stainless steel color.

Let's not forget about the stand. Built-in stand, it's an all-in-one tool. And not to mention the poker gear, the poker, you know, I had to, uh, came in today, I had to use the poker over by the, uh, by the bar when I came in. Did you?

Yep, I should use this one. I was smoking a secundo. Uh, you know, I have to fucking, to get you motivated, poke you. No, I'm motivated, I do a lot of work around here.

Oh, you don't do anything. So I'll throw up the video for that, uh, in this, since I have screwed up the, uh, description there, and there will obviously be a link for the product. It's a hell of a lighter, man. This is Mike's favorite lighter.

It really is. I love the window on it, I love the poker, I love the stand, I love the punch. They have absolutely thought of everything you could possibly need. They covered it all.

They covered it all with this lighter. You know what? If it would smoke it for you, then your job would be done. Yeah, then life would be good.

The Zeefy Stainless Steel Cigar Lighter, Punch, Poker, and Stand. There you go. All right, you ready to move on? Go out and buy it.

From the four quarters of the world. Oh, before, sorry, I forgot, before we start the news, we just started our, we just finished our fourth year in the cigar media industry, we're starting year number five, and I know that because we got hit by the bell from Podbean, but I have a little gift for you, Michael. Oh, do you? Yes, yes, a little anniversary for you, Michael, there you go, just for you.

Oh, my God. And you have something for me? I don't have anything for you. Oh, oh, okay.

Well, you go ahead. You go ahead and open your gift. Take a drink of your, your mango bango there. This is episode 208.

208. Time-wise, I'm not, I don't know, episode-wise. 208. Well, you're dividing by 52, carry the one.

Divided by 52. That's four years on the button. There you go. We just finished four years.

Excuse the wrapping paper. I don't like, I don't like this at all. Not a whole lot of options in the wrapping paper at the house at the moment. First of all, I'm not really a fan of gifts.

Oh. Second of all. Showing my appreciation, Mike. I don't know.

I mean, this could go either way. Four years ago, you're going, "You know what? I like to do a podcast. " You know, the hard part with you, especially, is that this could actually be a really nice gift, or it could be the complete fucking opposite.

That's true. It could be a complete fucking ha-ha-ha-ha. It is a 50-50 roll of dice there. Yes.

Throw that over there. Throw that over there. Oh, good, throw it not near the trash can, the other direction. I got you a nice pen, Michael.

It says Deltona High School. Oh, no, it's engraved. No, no, it says Cigar Hustler Podcast. No, it doesn't.

It says Deltona High School. This is lovely. Does it open? Oh, look at that.

Nice pen to sign your contracts with and things for your real estate thing. Yeah, you were looking for a pen at one time for that, years ago. It's been a few years ago. I didn't know if you ever found one, but I came across that and I thought, oh, I was going to have Michael.

This will be great. See, I told you, it could go either way. And it looks like it went the other way. Oh, that's not a, I mean, you know, okay, it says Deltona High on it, but still, it's a nice pen.

Oh, very nice. Thank you very much, sir. You can tell everybody you graduated from Deltona High School. Yeah, I'm from Deltona High.

All right, now we're on with the show. You can bring Mike in. From the four corners of the world, all the cigar industry news you could possibly need. The Cigar Hustler Podcast Report with Mike Toon.

RoMa Craft Tobac outlines the 2022 release calendar, Michael. While most cigar companies like to announce each new project once at a time, RoMa Craft takes an approach quite familiar with the craft beer world. Instead of singular announcements throughout the year, for the second year in a row, RoMa Craft has outlined its entire schedule for the year all at once. Its calendar includes both new items, but also a long list of cigars that RoMa Craft sells on a limited basis.

A. 21, Gran Perfecto. Okay. A.

21, Revenge. And the Intemperance EC. 28, Goodness. Do they use the numbers?

Or do they say XXI? How do they do theirs? I have no idea. I don't know either.

And then the Intemperance Whiskey Rebellion, 1794, Gran Perfecto. That would probably be good. I'm looking forward to that one. I think the other ones I've tried before.

Okay. Okay. Aroma Cryptobac says e-cigars are the company's headquarters in Austin and already shipping, none of them are new for 2022. The three Grand Perfecto sizes debuted in 2020 as part of the sample for the company's 10th year anniversary, though the event only took place in 2021 due to COVID, blah, blah, blah.

Right. Okay, February, the Baca Grand Perfecto, 500 boxes. Oh, he didn't list how many boxes for January, hmm, weird. Cro-Mag Black Irish, 250 boxes.

Oh. The Black Irish. I think I got the shaft on the Black Iris last year, too. I don't think we got them last year.

Yeah, so I'll have to set that up. The Intemperance EC28 Gran Perfecto, 200 boxes. Black Iris is a special version of the Cro-Mag EMAJ 5x56 Parejo that features a thin strip of Ecuadorian Candela tobacco alongside the normal Broadleaf wrapper, has been released annually since 2018. And then March, we'll just stop with March.

All right. So you're knocking out Q1. Apparently I went through July, but we're just going to stop with March. Okay.

Yeah, first quarter. Because you're just tired. I am tired, but we can keep reading it if you want. No, what's going on?

The list gets smaller and the descriptions get longer. All right. March, Cro-Meg, Gran Perfecto. Intemperance, BA, War.

Intemperance, ECP. We'll just leave out the numbers. Intemperance, Whiskey Rebellion, 1794. The Neanderthal C3, what is that?

What size is a C3? It's a Gordo. It's like a Robusto Gordo. El Catador de las Gran Coronas.

The El Catador de las Gran Coronas is a 16-count sampler that contains eight different cigars. Don't inhale. Sorry. My first day.

R. Lee III. Cromag Anthropologie, Cromag Aquitaine Anthropologie, Bacca Jengi, Neanderthal HS, and the Wanderlust Fiorella. What?

Does that come in the States? It is, because there is a Europe only release in May. Holy Toledo. That is like a bomb you just dropped.

Wanderlust Fiorella is coming in the States? be some standalone boxes seem to be the rest of the march and a new war piece and husband doesn't say anything specifically about the wonderlust or not huh skip martin co-founded romacraft posted pictures of the upcoming craft i'll buy all them bitches 2022 i'm like i'll take i declined to talk about the details saying they would come at a later date uh may is just european releases you want to know what's going to europe real quick um wait wait wait wait wait Oh, you wanna guess? I know this, I know this. There's one that you will not get.

There's a new Ecuadorian Connecticut that's coming out. Oh, is that what that one is? Oh my God, why can't I think of the name? Would you like me to help you?

Go ahead. Casa Torres, 20 años, Grand Robusto. Yeah, so it's originally in a perfecto, Grand Perfecto, and now it's coming out in Robusto. Oh.

Yeah. Wunderlos Gran Corona, Wunderlos Petit Pelicoso, Wunderlos Petit Gordo, Wunderlos Robusto, Wunderlos Toro. Huh. Bringing Fiorella to the States.

Ooh. Wow. That's impressive. Good job, Uncle Skip.

Good job. It's a damn good cigar. And my friend Mike. Michael.

It's Michael. It's Michael. He lets me call him Mike. He doesn't like it.

He says that? No, no. He says only you, BDP. He doesn't like it.

You call me Mike. I'm telling you right now, I don't like it. Oh, I'm telling you. It bothers him.

You upset him when he told me that you upset him. Oh, no. I think he meant you upset him. That's what he said.

Well, apparently I upset everybody and I'm angry all the time. I'm not sure. Breaking TVs and windshields and people at football games. Yeah, people at football games.

Lambert launches a Golden Retailer Program. Two exclusive cigars. Huh. You heard of Lambert cigars?

No. I don't remember that, but it was an interesting story. Let's go, okay, tell me. Lampert Cigars has launched two new cigars that are only being sold at stores that are part of the company's new Lampert Gold Retailer Program.

S. to program starting with nine retailers, nine gold retailers. Well, they probably have 12. Total?

Yeah, so three. As part of the program, the stores are able to purchase two exclusive cigars, both of which have been aged for more than one year after rolling the Tabaco de Costa Rica factory. Ah. It is.

The two cigars. One of them is the Lambert Limitada Salamón. Yeah. 25x48, Parejo.

Parejo. What's Parejo mean? I don't know. Both cigars.

Is it a smaller Robusto? I don't know. Both cigars are 3-year-old Ecuador. 5x50.

25x48. 25x48. 25x48? Yes.

What? 25x48? That's like a Monsdale. Yeah, ooh, the Salamones is a $30, while the Limitada A is $45.

Size. How much? 45. Tell you what, we have this deal.

We're going to make you a gold retailer. We call it that because you have to pay us gold to get these two cigars. Wow. Oh, here's the name of the retailers.

The Cedar Room in Scottsdale, Arizona. Cigar Point in San Antonio. I know them. And Fuego in Henderson, Nevada.

We know them. I know them, too. Helios Cigar Lounge in Las Vegas. I don't know them.

Haleos Cigar Lounge in Riverside, California, Humidor of Lake Isle and Lake, Humidor of Lizelle, I guess, in Lizelle, Illinois, Luxury Cigar Club in Cottonwood, Arizona, Small Batch in Orange, California, Smoker, Smoke Cigar Lounge in Philadelphia. Parejo just means like standard size. Oh, we've only, I've only heard of one of these. No, were you, the first three we know.

Gabe is fucking Cigar Point. Oh, okay, Gabe, and then En Fuego. En Fuego? I know En Fuego, I've been there.

En Fuego in Henderson, Las Vegas? Henderson, Nevada, yes. No, Las Vegas is a city, not a state. Henderson, Nevada.

Okay, well, they have two locations. Oh. One of them's in Las Vegas. Well, you didn't say anything.

You said Henderson, Las Vegas. That's because I took you to the Henderson location. That's the one we went to? Yeah.

Oh. That's the one that Char runs. What? That's the one that Char runs.

So this guy's obviously west coast. Maybe. Cedar Room, San Antonio, Texas, you said? It's on the other paper, it's on the floor.

And a follow-up story, we'd like to announce a Poshik Pewter program. com. If we have deemed you a Pewter partner. Yeah, you're all Pewter.

Pewter partner. Pewter partner. It's 100% Pewter. Partner.

Partner. If you ordered any post-check, you're a pewter. Yes. Your pewter member.

Very limited. Very limited. Very limited. Highly limited.

Grand Habano increases the prices. Yep. So those fake cigars are going to be real expensive. No, that's the place in the...

Oh, is that the same people down in Miami? Oh, maybe. JC Newman's doing a price increase. Yep, that sounds...

Yep. Dapper Cigar Company's doing a price increase. Yep. At least the list is getting smaller every week now.

I guess everybody else has already announced it. Yeah. Oliva promotes four to sales leadership roles, Michael. Okay.

Oliva Cigar Company has made major changes to the top of its sales force, promoting four long-time employees. Oh, they're promoting a long-time employee. Huh. How about that?

What an interesting idea. It's a great idea. Various sales leadership roles. Ian Hummel has nothing to do with the little figures.

Not from the figure Hummels. Okay. A 14-year veteran of Oliva, will now be the company's key account manager, his responsibilities will now solely be to manage the keys. They hand us the big accounts.

Yes, the company's accounts with the largest retailers. Previously, their responsibility fell under the purview of Corey Baparte, CEO of Oliva Cigar Company, though Hummel has taken a larger role in the key accounts over the years. Hummel's previous role was national sales manager, Eastern Region, where he was responsible for overseeing the company's sales force in the Eastern Region. Amazing.

Amazing how that works out. Jeff Nolan will be the company's new VP of sales, another role that Bepert previously held. Ooh, maybe Bepert might be on his way. I don't know.

Nolan has been a believer 16 years, most recently as national sales manager of the Western region. Nick Zagalifa, do you know Nick? No. No.

He's being promoted to national sales manager in the Western region. Huh. Nolan's old job. Oh.

He's been with the company for nine years, most recently as sales representative based out of Arizona. And finally, John Malander... John Malander. Oh, M-A-I-L-A-N-D-E-R.

That's the only one you know. Yeah. He's taking Humble's previous positions as National Sales Manager, Eastern Region. While the title will be the same, the role will be slightly different, given that the other guy holds all the keys.

Yeah, that's true. One guy's got the keys. John Malander actually used to work for General originally, and then he jumped and moved to Oliva probably four or five years ago. He sounds very familiar with the way you say it.

Yeah. I'll see, all promotions. No, nothing for Allen. No, that's why I pulled it.

I thought I heard Allen's name somewhere. Interesting. Nothing. All promotions officially took effect January 1st, though, Mallinder?

Yeah. Ah. Will remain serving in his previous role as sales representative for Eastern Florida until a replacement is ready, which is expected to be March. Like the others, Mallinder is a long-time Oliva employee, has been in the company for more than nine years.

Nine years? That's what it says. Holy shit. I thought it was like four or five.

Four or five. Maybe it's been nine. Maybe it's nine. Maybe it moves around a lot.

I need to get out of this industry. All right, Cigar Hustlers making changes, Michael. Oh, oh. They're announcing some promotions also.

Oh, you announced this? Yes, we're announcing this. Oh, okay. Cigar Hustler, the epicenter of cigars in the state of Florida, announced in a press release that Mike Palmer has been promoted to director of social media for all things associated with the Powstanie brand and the brick and mortar operation.

Nice. Oh, it's interesting. Chet Atwell has been promoted to director of marketing and events for the brick and mortar locations of Florida. Danielle DeSoy, or Big D, has been named the bar manager for the retail location.

And Keanu Respo has been promoted to air purification, refrigeration, and apparently he was also noted that he is the sanitation manager. I'm not sure what that means. And then finally, Steve Golowski. Is that how you say Steve's name?

I'm not familiar with Steve Golowski. He's been named inventory control manager for the operation. Mike Stepankiewicz said in a press release, This is the best team I've had the good fortune to work with in my 12 years in industry. " Congratulations to the entire team.

I'm busy, so busy, how do you spell Chevelle? That's amazing. All right, we have a Florida story, Michael. I introduce him now as my successful brother.

This is my successful brother. This is my successful brother, Greg. Uh, let's see, oh, no, we'll save that for something else. For the Patreon?

Yes. Oh, yes. Better write that down. No, I'll remember.

Just say Greg's story. All right, a Florida corrections deputy allegedly held a naked man at gunpoint, filmed him for hours, forced him to sign a $30,000 contract, and threatened to send incriminating video to his family and church, according to an investigation report from the Orange County Sheriff's Office. That's close. Yeah, that's right.

That's right here. Yeah, that's right here. Yes, yes, yes. Now, the headline was just that he held the gun and recorded a naked man.

So, it was a very intriguing story. So, I'd go on. The alleged incident happened in November when authorities said a 34-year-old man met up to have sex with a 19-year-old woman at a rental home in Orlando. But the newly released 54-page report said that when the man exited the shower, Deputy Amoni Robillard, Meliard emerged from behind a curtain, pointed two semiotic pistols at the man, and held them captive for nearly three hours.

According to the investigation... A deputy? Yes, the deputy. Okay.

So, follow me here. So, this guy makes a deal with somebody online to come to his house have sex with a 19-year-old woman. Okay. And apparently, she goes, "You know what?

" So, he goes and takes a shower. Comes out, the guy pops out from behind a curtain, I guess, with two guns. Okay. Okay.

According to the investigative report, the man told Orange County investigators that he and the deputy had been friends for about a year and that the deputy was upset because he had given him bad investment advice that led to the deputy losing $2,000 when the cryptocurrency company tanked. The report also said that the videos on the deputy's personal cell phone showed him pointing a gun at the man as he sat naked on the bed, authorities said the deputy also threatened the man's life multiple times. At one point, the deputy tells the man that he plans on killing him, cutting up his body, putting him in a garbage bag, and throw it in the ocean for the sharks to eat, the report says. Nice!

The woman was also arrested last month and has pleaded not guilty on charges of robbery with a firearm and conspiracy to commit extortion. This is amazing. What an elaborate... Yes, it's quite the scheme this man who cooked up.

Amazing. Over $2,000. Over $2,000. Over $2,000.

Number 2K, and he made him sign a contract where he's gonna pay $30,000. You know, if I had to pull-- How do you uphold that kind of contract? I mean, yeah, it seems a bit excessive. Right.

Not the amount, but, okay, I'm not gonna fulfill my contract. Well, then I'm gonna sue you. Okay, let's go to court. Yes, I saw a judge, when I held a gun to his head and took nudie pictures of him, he signed it, he would give me $30,000.

Yeah, he said he was gonna give me $30,000. Oh, wow. You know, if I had to pull a gun on and make every person naked that owes me $2,000, I mean, there would be a lot of naked people. There's a lot of naked people.

At least three naked people. You don't put it on your own cell phone, you could buy a burner. Yeah, and you can't say I'm gonna kill you on there. Yeah, who recruits that?

You're a cop, you should know better. You didn't think this through, Mr. Deputy. Yeah.

Yeah, you'd think you would have known. But I like how he went for the 19-year-old just above the line. Right, make it legal. It's legal.

We don't want him to be a fucking weirdo. Right, well then that guy from Nightline shows up when he's under 18. Hi, I'm so-and-so from Nightline. Right, yeah, he sticks out, comes out from the back.

Why do you like to fuck children? It's like, oh god, oh, she said she was 21. No comment, no comment. No, she didn't say 21, she said 12.

It says right here in the, in the writing, in the chat room. And there goes the camera, but it's still recording. It's still recording. It's still recording.

I love these cameras. Uh, so we have a Listener of the Week, Michael? We do. Well, who is it?

I don't know, you tell me. No, that's your job. That's your one job every week. It's my one job.

Listener of the Week. Listener of the Week. I'm gonna tell you, I know who's gonna listen, he listens every week. Uh, yes.

Who is it? Brett Fry. Brett Frye, Listener of the Week, congratulations Mr. Frye.

Do you have a Shop of the Week? That's your job too. Oh. You wanna know the Shop of the Week?

Who's the Shop of the Week Michael? Brett Frye, Tobacology. Oh, Brett Frye, Tobacology! I did it!

Oh, wrong button, sorry. Oh, Tobacology, Shop of the Week. Yes. Oh, and I've been using my Fratello lighter from Tobacology.

Yeah, it was from the time. Yeah, it was in the time, it's right here. Greg stole it, I found it out there today. That son of a bitch.

After the meeting, I usually keep it hit back here. Yeah. It's a good lighter, a good four burner lighter. Do you think that maybe my brother is like a love child to someone else?

Like maybe my mother had like some kind of... That's why she's so attached to him? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a little piece of something else?

Yeah, from some other relationship. Because you do look more like your father than he does. Yeah, he doesn't look like my dad. No.

He looks like my mom. Yep, you're right. Only fat. Yeah, the hair and a beard.

Yeah. Your mother has the white beard. Yeah. Right.

Right. The white beard. Could be. I'm just saying.

Hmm. That makes sense. That makes sense, but we're totally opposite. That's true.

Yeah, yeah. Hmm. Because here he is, you know. Right.

She probably just, she probably won't. Busy, so busy. She probably had like a floozy night one night, and you know. Oh, got a little liquored up on a Manhattan.

Yeah. I had some Manhattans in her Virginia slums. Shh, it's me whore. Shh, shh, shh, 54.

Fifty-four is me whore. Fifty-four is me whore. Yeah, I feel like that would make sense. Oh.

Yeah. Do a little research for us for the show. Yeah, look, how would you look that up? DNA test.

Ooh, we'd have to get him a swab. We'd get him on Mori. You and him swab, see if you guys match. Oh.

That's all you gotta do. What if we could do that? He won't take the test, he's paranoid. The one where you do like 23andMe or whatever the fuck those things are called?

Yeah. You know, he tapes over all his things. Tapes over all his things. All of his cameras and stuff.

I'm super busy, I'm super busy, how do you spell Chevelle? Chevelle. Amazing. Fucking amazing.

He was looking something up today back here, which is the story. I won't say what I was going to say. But then he got upset because his phone, Instagram, gave him an ad for whatever he was looking up. This is fucking bullshit.

I just looked it up. It's all linked. Yes, Greg, that's the way it works. They sold it that fast?

They don't sell it. Your phone's listening. Then he covered his phone. Is it listening all the time?

Yes, Greg, it's listening all the time. I just heard you ask me if I was losing. Did you see the story about the person in Houston that put her kid in the trunk because she didn't want to get COVID or something? No.

Oh, my God. What a great idea. Honey, we're going for a ride. Get in the car.

Let's put kid in the trunk. No, no, in the trunk. For COVID. Yeah, this is amazing.

Authorities say 13-year-old son of Sarah Beam, a teacher, was found in her car. I mean I'm not surprised, teachers, a little crazy, you gotta teach all those kids, I mean I can't even deal with my three, I'll take 20, no you won't, you're out of your fucking mind, because it pays so well, a Houston mother has been charged after allegedly placing her 13 year old son in the trunk of her car in an attempt to isolate him after he tested positive for COVID-19, then - Were they going somewhere? - then took him into a drive-through testing site. He's in the back.

Pops the trunk. Hey, hold on. In a statement reported, like, she thought this was a good idea. In a statement reported by KPRC, an NBC affiliate, the Cypress Fairbanks School District said police were alerted that a child was in the trunk of a car at a drive-through COVID-19 testing site.

She don't want to put him in the car with her earlier this week. Uber him. Blow up the driver. The Uber guy.

She didn't just like put a plastic bag over his head. Yeah. He's in the bag, going with the bag. Law enforcement conducted a full investigation resulting in a warrant for her arrest.

Sarah Beam, 41, was charged with endangering a child. Wow. Thankfully, the child was not harmed. He's a drunk.

He's 13. He probably thought it was great. This is amazing. I don't have to buckle up.

I don't have to buckle up. Authorities say the boy was found on Monday at a testing site for the school district in Northwest Houston. Maybe she put cushions in there with him or something. Beam is a teacher with the district.

She's lost her job. She's totally lost her job. She's totally lost her job. No job.

It's back to stripping, Sarah. Oh, is that picture? No. The charge against her was filed on Wednesday, but not made public until Friday.

According to a court document, the District's Director of Health Services, Bevan Gordon, was gathering information from vehicles in line for testing at a stadium when she discovered the 13-year-old in the trunk of the car. The mother stated that she put her son inside the trunk to prevent her from getting exposed to possible COVID while driving to the stadium for additional testing, the court documents said. Gordon called the police. Beam had not yet been arrested or turned herself in, authorities said on Friday.

Court records did not list an attorney. Beam had worked for the school district since 2011, it said, adding that she was on administrative leave. Police did not say whether Beam or her unidentified son were vaccinated. I just want everybody to know, out of all of that part of the entire story, that it was Houston, Texas.

Not Houston, Florida. There is no Houston, Florida. There might be a Houston, Florida. Houston, Texas.

Is there a Houston, Florida? Houston, Florida. It's not Florida. It's not a Florida story.

Houston, Florida. That's why I didn't cover it. H-O-U-S-T-O-N. But it's amazing.

Like, don't you love your kid? Well, yeah, that's why I didn't want to get sick. I put him in the trunk. You know, he was sick.

He was getting tested. She wasn't sure. I believe it was Houston, Florida. com.

You put in the address find homes in your neighborhood with a curious or criminal history. Start exploring our crowdsource database of stigmatized homes. See, it keeps going to something else. Now it wants me to tap my age.

Put it in your credit card number. Yeah, put it in your credit card number. Alright, anyway. Well, I think this kind of concludes Yeah, this wraps up episode 208 our fourth year Our fourth year show, big famous, nope.

We're officially starting year five as of next week. Yes. Five glorious years. Five glorious years of mediocre, talented work.

Mediocrity. All right, guys, thank you very much. Appreciate all of you listening for the last four years and watching. Yeah.

Thank you, Mike. I hope you enjoy your pen. And we'll do our best for the Patreon this, uh... There will be a Patreon this week.

Yeah, sorry, Beau. Sorry, well, your 250 is in the mail. Yeah, we're gonna mail that to you. Only, yeah, in pennies.

Mm-hmm. All right, guys, we'll talk to you later. It's going to cost us $75 to ship it. Right.

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for all new episodes. Hi, I'm doing... I'm Husto-E-Raw. Yeah, we just don't have to do a single, uh, single podcast ever again.

Perfect. I'm good, Mike and Mike. How are you guys doing? The Hojo, the...

Hojo! It's the Hojo! He didn't even let him fuck it up all the way. I couldn't get past Hojo!

I don't even have to try to end the record. We're gonna cover a lot of ground here, Mike. All right. Try to keep up.

That's a sign of a good podcast. It'd be like four cigars when I walked in a door. All right, end this.

Show Notes

We close the books on year four.....

Mikey smashes a TV, breaks his wife windshield and gets in a fight at the bucs game all in the same weekend!!

Add Promotions and prices increases and its another great episode!