A Cigar Hustlers Podcast 237 Its a Monkey

Episode Summary

Episode 237 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast opens with the hosts calling Patreon supporter Ben, a manure-spreader painter who listens in the paint booth. Ben talks about getting seriously into cigars over the past year and names the Filthy Viking and BDP Shepherd as current go-tos, prompting the guys to promise a Patreon review. The crew also shows off a new Podbean plaque marking 250 published episodes across the newly rebranded Hustler Universe Podcast Network.

The smoke of the episode is the Crowned Heads Esfumato (the Connecticut-shaded, PCA-exclusive relative of Le Pâtissier), which gets a running gag about how to actually pronounce the name. From there the show pivots to a long recap of a family trip to Walt Disney World with Skip Martin of RoMa Craft, including a candid breakdown of what a Disney VIP tour actually gets you, the frustration of the 7 a.m. Lightning Lane scramble, Rise of the Resistance, the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train, the new Guardians of the Galaxy coaster at Epcot, and dinners at Be Our Guest and Jaleo in Disney Springs.

The PCA 2022 leftovers are the meat of the episode: a testy encounter with Tony Gomez of Espinosa while trying to reach Jack at the booth during a Guy Fieri appearance (and the Matt Booth-assisted follow-up), Miguel Schoedel of Crowned Heads working the show with shingles and the mistaken-identity prank that followed, and a post-show road prank on Costa of Smoke Inn/Mahoney's driving through Las Vegas traffic.

The news segment covers the wave of positive COVID-19 tests among PCA attendees (David Garofalo and Fred Rewey among those reported), New York's new ban on smoking in state parks and beaches under Governor Kathy Hochul, January–April 2022 premium cigar import figures from the Cigar Association of America showing a 5.3% year-over-year increase led by Nicaragua, a federal excise tax suit involving Blue Mountain Cigars, and a Fuente trademark joke about Opus X. Florida Man closes things out with a naked house fire and the canceled "Monkey Monday" at a Carrabba's in Stuart. Listener of the Week is Paul Lindenfelsner and the shop shout-out goes to Just For Him in Springfield, Missouri.

In This Episode

1. 01
   Patreon Call with Ben
   The hosts phone supporter Ben, who paints manure spreaders and listens in the paint booth, and talk about his go-to smokes including the Filthy Viking and BDP Shepherd.
2. 02
   250 Episodes and a Podbean Plaque
   The crew unboxes a Podbean award for 250 published episodes under the newly named Hustler Universe Podcast Network.
3. 03
   Smoking the Crowned Heads Esfumato
   Mike lights the PCA-exclusive Crowned Heads Esfumato, a Connecticut-wrapped cousin to Le Pâtissier, and the pronunciation becomes a running bit.
4. 04
   Disney VIP Tour Breakdown with Skip Martin
   A detailed, honest review of what a Disney World VIP tour actually delivers versus the Lightning Lane app scramble, plus rides, food and family logistics.
5. 05
   PCA 2022 Espinosa Booth Incident
   The hosts recount being pushed out of the Espinosa booth by Tony Gomez during a Guy Fieri appearance and the Matt Booth-assisted return trip.
6. 06
   Shingles, Pranks and Post-Show Road Rage
   Stories about Miguel Schoedel working PCA with shingles, a mistaken-identity handshake prank, and tailgating Costa's car after the show.
7. 07
   Cigar Industry News
   PCA 2022 COVID-19 positives, New York's state park and beach smoking ban, Jan–April premium cigar import numbers, and a Blue Mountain Cigars excise tax lawsuit.
8. 08
   Florida Man and Listener of the Week
   A naked house fire, the end of Monkey Monday at a Stuart Carrabba's, plus shout-outs to Paul Lindenfelsner and Just For Him in Springfield, Missouri.

Brands & Cigars Discussed

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Transcript

Welcome to episode 238 of the Cigar Hustler Podcast. Brought to you by Y100 in the New Times. Brought to you by Y100 in the New Times. Brought to you by Y100 in the New Times.

Brought to you by Durastate, Rustica, whatever. Stop it, stop it right now. That's not true. He sent me a check.

What do you want me to do? I don't know how big it was a check. Why is his camera on? How big was the check?

Big enough for one. You leave his cameras. Listen, he's been doing a marvelous check. I was talking.

Yeah, sure, you're on all the time. I've had plenty of compliments. It's only the one episode one show for me, though. You have two.

I have two different shows? Yeah. I know, but I don't put the camera on me on the other show. That would be narcissistic.

You too can become part of our podcast family and invest in our show or any of the shows on the Hustler Podcast Network. Put your products in front of thousands of listeners and viewers every week. We're hurting our Well, he's got camera three, I looked at one, and it was wrong, so it threw me off. 13 different podcasts for ours weekly all around the world, have your ad read right here in this spot.

com. Remember to always rate, review, and subscribe on whichever many providers you use. Let's go. All right, we're gonna quickly make a phone call here.

Are you calling my wife? No, I'm not calling you. Why, did you do something bad? I always do something bad.

Oh, you did something bad. No, I didn't do anything bad. Come on, I'm a good guy, good husband, good dad. You did a bad thing.

Okay, let's see who you're fucking calling now, let's see if it's kind of sabotagery. Hello? Hello? Hey, I have it in my phone is Ed, but the Patreon is Ben.

Which one do you go by? I don't know why I have Ed. Ah. Ben.

Ben, alright, Ben, this is Ben, one of our many Patreons. Ben, Ben, Ben. He's getting his monthly call. Finally.

Finally, we were able to work him in. Yes. How are you doing, buddy? Thanks for the support.

We appreciate you. Anything you want to plug before we get into a little bit about you? Well, I don't know. Do you have a shop you like to hang out at?

You like give them a shout out or something? Yeah, you're terrible at me. I guess I really, my hometown shop is kind of small, so it's not really a lounge area. How long have you been smoking, bud?

So I've been into cigars since I turned 21, but I haven't gotten really big into smoking like I am now for the past year, so... You really turned it up? Yep. So what's kind of like your go-tos?

Tell me your go-tos. My go-tos? One of them is the Filthy Viking. I love that one.

Okay. Filthy Viking. Is that, um, what's his name out in Arizona? Uh, yeah, him.

Uh, well, uh, you can say his name, I can't remember his name, uh, the, the, the big guy. Um, Zeal Team 6. Uh, shit, I know him too. Cigar Daily.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he used to be with Cigar Daily. Yeah, he's a cool guy. That's not a bad cigar, I've had it. No, it's good.

We should review that on the Patreon. We'd have to buy some. No problem. Okay.

We have the ability, we have the technology. We have the technology. We can use Ben's money. Ben, we're going to use your money to buy some cigars, and we'll review them for you.

Right. See, we've gone full circle at this point. So what do you do for a living, Ben? I am a painter.

I paint manure spreaders. Nice. He's the one that listens in the paint spray room. Ah, so that's where you catch us?

Do we ever make you laugh to a point where you fuck something up really bad? " Not to the point where I fucked something up, but I gotta stop just to catch my breath every once in a while. Well, now we must make him fuck up, though. We'll have to come up with something.

The worst part is when I'm sitting underneath the manure spreader painting it, and I'm just sitting there laughing, laying on the grates, just laughing. " Oh my god, this poor guy. He needs a new respirator. Those paint teams are getting to him.

He's been doing this for too long, we got to get him out of here. Cool, man. All right. Well, um, any, any questions that you want to ask myself or Mike before we let you go?

Oh, or Phil. Sorry, Phil. Not really questions I want to ask. I just wanted to tell you guys, keep doing the hard work that you're doing.

I mean, all of us love it. So... Thanks, man. Thank you very much.

We appreciate that. We appreciate your support. It's uh... Go ahead.

I do have shepherds here that I'm going to probably light up today. Yes. First one for the day. I had one of those yesterday.

They're very good, Michael. I'm looking to replace that wild viking in your fucking everyday life, man, so let's go. Filthy viking. Filthy viking.

Filthy viking. Sorry. Well, I've also had some BDPs too, which are awesome. Those are great.

That's it. A lot of praise for you, man. We should call Ben every day. Every week we should call Ben.

Maybe even once a month we should call Ben. Yeah, they probably should. Very nice, man. Well, hey, we appreciate, again, we appreciate your support, dude, and thanks for coming on to the show.

And, you know, don't fuck up any paints when you're out there today or when you listen to the next episode. Right, right. That'll be tomorrow, he can hear himself. And if you ever have any questions or you want to shoot something at us, we're down.

He's got my number now, so just reach out anytime you want. any time you want. The direct connect to BDP. Oh, yeah.

Got the direct connect. See that? Membership has its privileges. Exactly.

All right, Ben. We appreciate you taking some time off of work to talk to us today, buddy. Well, no, I appreciate you guys. You guys have a good one, and I will listen to the podcast later on today or tomorrow in the paint booth.

Good deal, brother. Thanks, Ben. Thanks. All right.

Bye. Bye-bye. That's Ben. And Ben.

Ben's a good guy. He was. He was a good guy. Working Man.

Working Man, right. What if we get like a custom manure spreader with our logo on? I don't know what I'd do with it, but that seems appropriate to have a Cigar Hustler Podcast manure spreader. " Oh, there you go.

There you go. Oh, Phil's over there shaking his head. No. He doesn't know what's going on.

He's still buttered. Hey, so we got another award. Okay. I got an email that it was coming last week.

I didn't expect it to come this soon, so I-- Oh, and it happened. Oh, yeah, we already got it, yeah. Oh, man, you got all types of stuff today. This is fantastic.

I'm just gonna sit back and drink this warm ghost 'cause I suck at drinking the mail. Right, I obviously opened it at home because it came to my house. But, um, and then my wife opened it last night. She got home from the airport thinking it was her.

I was like, no, that's not for you. No, no word for you. No word for you, honey. See, but like, for me, I don't know if this is bullshit or not.

No, well, you will when you open it. You fucked with me too much. Obviously. You will know though, when you open it, that it's legit.

You could have had this made. That seems like a lot of work, Michael. Yeah, and you'll go to any, any fucking... Yeah, so there's a blimp outside, it's gonna go by in a minute too, with your name on it.

It's the Shepard Blimp. We have reached 250 episodes on Podbean. We have, have we? Well, if you add them together, yeah, we add all the other shows now.

So we all of a sudden took... Now it says Hustler Universe Podcast Network. Well, that's what we call ourselves now, we've changed the name. He's the name.

Yes. So apparently that is a milestone that they appreciate. You did it. Yeah, you did it.

You sent us a lot of money. Five years of abuse. Right. " Wow.

But I was stuck on that 365. " You want to turn it into an Ashtray or something? That one? No, we'll put it out there on the thing.

Oh, okay. He wants you to show it to your camera. Remember, Phil isn't gesturing. Thanks, Phil.

It's a little plaque from our friends at Podbean. Is it shiny? Do I need to angle it down at all, Phil? Down a little?

Down a little. I mean, you have a fucking mic, Phil. Yeah, down a little. Okay, thank you.

How's that? Read it out loud. Michael, you have to read it. " Right.

Actually, they're a little late, but I guess it takes time to make it. But the email came last week. Look at that. That's nice.

We're just out here out working. We'll put it out. Out working all you motherfuckers in the cigar industry. We'll put it out there on our award shelf with our other one.

I forget what they sent us another one for, for something. We're number one. Well, we got the little trophy that one year. But they sent us another one of these for Phil.

Phil, look and see what it's for again real quick. It's right there on the shelf. Go ahead, Phil. Oh, God.

He's got to get up. He's got to get up. He's got to move. He's got to waddle over there.

" 50,000 downloads. Oh, 50,000 downloads, yeah. We gotta be close. There's another milestone coming up.

We're almost at 100,000. When do they send us the steak knives? At what point? I don't know if we get steak knives.

This is 10 years of devotion. I'm looking for the fucking, I want the steak knives. We got plaques. Come on.

That's cool. That's neat. We'll send it away to somebody and we'll put like little... No, it's going out there on the shelf with the other one.

Pretty soon we'll have, we'll win like a real award or something. Turn into an ashtray. Turn into an ashtray. Okay, so for the, cause I need to light this up.

Oh, I thought you were lighting that. I was gonna do that, but then I'm like, well, this is the- We have three PCA stories we forgot to talk about. We did, yeah. Okay.

There, but this is a little bit lighter, so I want to smoke this first. All right. This is the Esfumato and C Major by Crown Heads. Esfumato.

I think this is like the, this is the PCA exclusive. The light version of the La Piscopiser? This is a- It looks like the La Piscopiser, but in Connecticut. Yeah.

I don't fact-check. Shut the fuck up, Mato, SFU. Shut the fuck up? SFU, shut the fuck up?

It's not, there's no T. Esfumato. Oh, shut fuck up. Domo gommingat.

Maybe the is just understood. You can get Wes on the phone. I mean, poor Wes. I don't have Wes's number.

We don't need to get him on the phone. Unless you want to. He didn't respond to my last text. Oh, we should save it.

It was a little abrasive anyways. Save it for the Patreon if we're going to talk to him, because that's why we're going to review it. Yeah, well, I'm smoking it now. Well, you always do.

All right, you want to do the, you want to do the, uh, the stories and then we'll get into your, uh, or would you rather do your illustrious weekend, uh, at the Martin, uh, Disney compound? Oh, we, yeah, we can go there first. You want to go there first? Oh, certainly.

Yeah. A little, little break of the, uh, okay. Here now it's called, uh, Martin Kingdom. It is the Martin Kingdom.

Yes. He's bought it now. Disney World Martin Kingdom. With Wakanda.

He made a part of his Wakanda collection. He's got Wakanda now. He's collecting everything. He is.

Mm-hmm. Well, what's the hashtag? Fiorella Gets What Fiorella Wants. Fiorella Gets What She Wants.

Right, so, it's Wakanda and now Disney. We had an amazing, like, the fucking, here's the thing with the, first of all, this, I'm, I'm very not pro Disney, like, as far as, oh, that's right, when did you get hit on? There's a process as far, hit on, as far as bringing, like, three different levels of children with strollers and all this other shit, there's, there's a lot of fuckery about, right? So a lot involved with that many children, so, you know, for accounting Fiorella.

So we had VIP for one day, one day we didn't have VIP, but what? Yeah, we, I couldn't, it was booked. Oh, you know, listen, when anyway? Yeah.

And the way that it played out, it worked out well, because, you know, you had to, you had to get in line with like the rest of the savages of Disney and wait 90 minutes to ride something. So was it the first day you didn't? Yeah. Okay, then the second day.

Then he had VIP. Because you can't go the other way around. You can't do VIP and then. Right.

And then go, well, right. That's like having first class on the way to someplace and then coach on the way back. And then sitting back with a livestock. You can't do that.

This is ridiculous. So it was cool though, because I mean, you know, what's, what's great about having a good friend is when you talk, they listen to you. Right. So, so, but what happened when you were skipped?

No, that's what I'm saying. Oh, oh, he's the good friend. Yeah. He's a good friend.

Yeah. The biggest problem in our industry, I think is just not having a good friend. Right. Right.

You have a good friend. Right. That is a major problem. A major problem in the industry.

Yes, it is. So, you know, one of my concerns, I'm like, well, here's the one big issue is like the fucking, you got to get on this trailer, fucking tram after you park your car, you got to break down your stroller. Right. Oh, yeah.

That whole thing is miserable. He's like, okay, I can, we can fix that. So he reached out to the concierge desk and we had transport for the first day there. Right.

Oh, from his hotel. Yeah. Because he wasn't staying on property. Right.

Yeah, it was close. Yeah. So, you know, transportation there. Now that problem solved.

But you still had to, oh, but you still had to break down the stroller. Well, yeah, but no, but you don't have to put it in the tram and huddle in because they park a lot closer. Ah, I got you. Because they're transport, right?

Right. So that was cool, right? And we hit, we hit. You're used to the valet at the Universal.

Correct. Yes. Correct. Valet Universal.

Yes. Still nothing. Very nice. Nothing quite as good.

No. Anyway, go ahead, please. So we did the Hollywood Studios thing, and we wanted to make sure that Fiorella had a good time, right? So everything was kind of geared towards stuff for Fiorella to do, and what happens then is a lot of that will parlay for the rest of the kids.

Certainly. You know, maybe princesses, not so much for the boys or whatever, but as far as everything else is concerned, rides and all that other stuff. So we hit three or four rides at Hollywood Studios, and it was, you know, everybody's just super chill. There was no, we got to go do this, we got to go, let's go, let's go, you know.

like there's no running and gunning and I got to hit everything. You know, it's like you could go into that theme park with a very wide approach and, and have that aspect of, I got to go, but it's super stressful. Right. Or you can do a little bit of research, you penetrate deep.

Right. And you hit the big markers, you know, the major rides that, you know, have the best impact instead of wasting any time on some bullshit. Right. So that's what we did at Hollywood studios.

We hit all of the things. Is that where the star Wars stuff is? Yeah. Did you do that?

I hear that's really good. The Rise, we did the Rise of the... Con or whatever? No, no, not Con.

Oh, sorry. I just watched your movie last night. The Resistance. Oh, hold on.

Yes, Rise of the Resistance. Poor Phil. You keep his mic on. Resistance.

Thank you. Yeah, but over there he crinkles the cellophane. Leave him alone. You leave Phil on.

You keep Phil on. You just booted him off the show. No, no, that's not him. That's not him.

That's him. No, it's not the same guy. Anyway, go ahead. The Rise of the Resistance is amazing.

I know nothing about the Disney Rise. I mean the Star Wars. The technology and stuff that they haven't. Oh, it's Disney.

Yeah. They fake the moon landing. Yeah. I'm sure.

Behind the whole thing. Disney Imagineers. Yeah, Disney Imagineers. That was incredible.

But, you know, the ride that really kind of unlocked Fiorello, that like really made her light up? Yeah. Roller coasters. Oh, she likes roller coasters.

She's all about it. She's all about it. So, you know, once you kind of figure that out. Did she get her hands up in the air?

I wasn't on the Slinky Ride with them, so I don't know. Brittany, if you'd like to call in and explain how- Brittany was overdue for the Slinky Ride. Last time we were there, she was pregnant, she could not ride, said Slinky Ride, Slinky roller coaster. It must have been much better than the Jurassic Park ride for her.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. She enjoyed it. She enjoyed it. You know, it was a little more intense than she thought it would be, but she still had fun.

Oh, scary. Yeah. So, that was, you know. It's like, you know.

We did Toy Story Mania, you know, you did the Slinky, we did the Rise of the Resistance, we did something else, oh, we did the Lightning McQueen little thing thing, where he talks and stuff, and you know, that was, all right, cool, yeah, we're done, like, perfect, you know, like, you're not there too long where you're just like, ugh, you were there long enough, you saw the ones, the big ones, the big deals, and you moved on, and it was perfect, everybody had a great time. They still have the, uh, what, uh, the rockin', whatever, roller coaster? Yes. She wasn't tall enough.

No, I wish we could do it with the kids, but I thought I'd heard it was going away. If she qualified, we would've, she would've loved that too. Yeah. Right.

And what's cool is, so like Fiorella gets along with all my kids in different kind of ways. Right. Right? Like, Jax is a little bit older, so there's a little more physicality there between those two.

Right. And then Justice and Fiorella are like, same page, like play, let's do all these cool things or whatever. And then when it comes to Teddy. We're getting wedding magazines together.

Yeah, look, checking weddings, what do you think, what do you think about this? That's a lovely dress, you should wear that, I'm going to wear this tuxedo. And, you know, she was just very loving to Teddy, because Teddy's like this little, boop, little doll. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, it was really cool in that aspect, like everybody got to hang out and have a good time. Maybe Skip had a little chat with us before and like, be nice to the Polish people, honey. No, you know, Fiorella, I need them, be nice to them, be, be, he don't need us, be a friend with the kids. He don't fucking need us.

Somebody's got to carry his luggage back to the airport. It was a, somebody's got to carry his luggage. It was really a perfect fit for the, you know, for the kid wise. And then obviously, you know, I know Skip and Arlen and Brittany knows Skip.

And, you know, she got to hang out more with Arlen. So all of that, like we just gelled, man. There was no, there was no issue. Right.

And that's cool because the theme park could totally go sideways on somebody. Oh, sure. You know, right. Very stressful day if you don't do it right.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, crowds and the heat. Yeah.

And that was the tougher day. And that one was easy. VIP is fucking legit. Yeah.

Did you get all the, which park was VIP? Did you do? We did two parks. Oh!

We did two parks. We hit, again, same scenario. The mindset is, okay, like, what's going to be the most impactful for Fiorella? Right.

Right. And, you know, really kind of make it count so that you hit all of the big things. Like, okay, well, we have now officially figured out that roller coasters is the way. That's our thing.

So let's hit the best one. We'll hit the seven dwarfs in Magic Kingdom. So you went to Magic Kingdom. And what was the other part?

First of all, we skipped the trams and the fucking ferry, because VIP picked us up and dropped us That was off in the back lot. Oh. That in itself. At your car?

Hotel to. Oh, they picked you up at the hotel. Oh, yeah. Oh, nice.

Dude, I'm going to tell you right now. It's not on park. Like. So, just ballpark.

What's the VIP go for? Is it by a person? It depends. You'll have to look it up.

I'm sure it's online somewhere. I'm just curious. It depends. But do you pay by the package?

Or like you guys said, I have 17 people. Well, it's capped to 10 people and it's a seven hour minimum. Oh, so you're at three, four, five, six, seven, eight. The amount of people doesn't matter.

The amount of people doesn't matter. You said caps at 10. I was just seeing how close you guys were. Yeah.

They're like eight or nine. You could say VIP for three people, but they're, you know. No, no, no. I just wondered if you guys were how close to the 10.

Yeah. No, we had, we had some. You're like justice. I'm sorry.

You got to wait in the car today. Sorry. Don't worry. We'll come back and get you the next part.

Jack's wakes in the car. Well, so the big thing there is just skipping the tram, the security there, the ferry, like all of like that whole thing is an hour, hour and a half of fuckery both ways. Right. You just pull right up.

There you go. Like they do your security check and you're done. Boom. You're right into the park.

Oh, so we did like the parade. We had our own viewing for the parade, which is awesome. We did seven doors roller coaster. We saw two sets of princesses, carousel ride.

We ate at Be Our Guest, which you can't get reservations in that thing. That was solved at that time. Like, hey, no problem. Poop.

Here you go. So you guys are going to be in anywhere or was that part of the package? No, we, we ate on our own. Like that wasn't part of the package.

Oh, oh, oh, oh. Apparently, a lot of people that do VIP just kind of run and gun, but like that's not the tempo of this, of our tribe. Okay, other than you go in the back door, is there somebody who goes with you all day long? Yes.

Okay. And you are in lightning lane, you get to... Oh, that's their fast pass. You blast through everything.

Yeah, seven doors happen twice. So it's like the clear person at the airport comes with you. Pretty much, yeah, right this way. Right this way.

Excuse me, excuse me. Is there a little sign that says Martin on it? No, no, no. No Martin.

Well, I should have my cabbage. It would have a flag big enough. You get to ride the little, we did the Little Mermaid, so like, we did a lot of the Magic Kingdom stuff, right? That was in that one really helpful.

Did you go in the castle? No, we didn't have to, like, you know. Well, I might just, if I might be part of the, it would seem like the VIP tour, they would give you like a behind the scenes of different things. Well, no, there is an actually behind the scenes tour that you can take.

Oh, but you guys, um. You gotta be 16 or older to do that. Oh, I wonder why. Uh.

See people changing clothes or something? Uh, character shock, apparently. Oh, gotcha, yeah. How'd you make it with the head?

Exactly. That's funny that they make 16, 16, if you're 15, no, no, still scar you, 16, you're good, you're gonna do 16 and up. Right. So, like, after we spent a little over, like, a princess holding Mickey Mouse's head or something.

Oh, my God. He killed Mickey Mouse! After we spent, like, half the day there, it's like, okay, so what else? So, she wants to see the Nemo ride at Epcot, and there's a Frozen ride there.

Yeah. And I'm like, okay, well, you know, Skip said, why don't we just jump over? We just get it. They'll take us.

Right. Why don't we just hit all those major ones too? Ratatouille. So it was like, bam.

Yeah, no problem. We went right over there. And then same scenario. We hit all the big ones, right?

No line, no wait. Brand new Guardians of the Galaxy rides there. Oh, I didn't know they had a new one. Oh, yeah.

That's at Epcot? Mm-hmm. What did that go in and replace of? I have no idea.

Where was it? But it's like, supposedly, it's like a space mountain ride on steroids. Oh. Yeah.

Was Test Track still there? Test Track is still there. We almost got sucked into the Test Track. Oh, no, I hate that, right?

It's just not that fun. Yeah, it's disappointing. It looks so enticing. Oh, it looks nice, yeah.

When you're down there watching, the car goes brrrr. But again, it's like driving down I-4. Yeah, I mean, we could just jump in my car and I could be a little more fun. Right.

All nine of you. Yeah, all nine of us. Be a little cozy. Be safe when you're rolling over.

Like other people. Like Greg? I don't know if we're talking about that or not, it's so confusing around here anymore. So confusing.

What's, what we're, what's allowed to talk about, what's not allowed to talk about? But I'm gonna- Who works here, who doesn't work here? I mean, every time we got off rides, like if we needed it, our, our VIP person handled water for us, handled- Did they have like a little cooler or was it a guy or a girl? Yeah, it was a girl and she would go and pick it up and just- Go and fetch it.

And then she, she'd bring our stroller to us. Water please. No, you didn't have to do it. Tepid.

I'm gonna tell you right now, you don't have to shit all over somebody for them to take care of you. That's the difference, right? It's Disney. Everything at Disney is top shelf.

Not necessarily, bro. Well, if you're paying that, whatever that costs. Right, if you set it up. Right.

But I think, I honestly think that, you know, it's really case-by-case basis when it comes to employees. Like, you could tell that, her name was Kennedy, that she was amazing. Like, she was on top of all her shit. I would think the person they put in that position is gonna be more...

Sure, upper tier. Upper tier, not like, I don't need water, you guys get your own. Yeah, well... Not gonna have that guy.

No, but I think that there are probably times where you would have to say, hey, can we get some water? Oh, you'd have to ask? Right. They've got a lot of rules at Disney.

Where this person? That might just be part of it. Every time they go off the ride, ask them if they want water. I mean, she took really good- If you see a shoe untied, you tie it.

I don't know how- If there's a princess, it walks over and says hello to Mr. Martin. I'm going to tell you right now, I don't know how anybody does Disney without doing a VIP tour. Oh.

Like, honestly. Don't know. I've never done VIP. Yeah.

Me neither. Me neither. Phil has something to say. Yes, Phil?

What extra did you get other than Lightning Lane? Okay, but do you understand how important that is? No, I understand. So let's start with that.

But I'm just wondering if there was like some extra magic. Well, for one, you don't have to walk down Main Street. They walk you down back areas and stuff like that. Oh, I was gonna ask you if you got the back areas.

Did you go under the tunnels? There's no tunnels. That's part of the other tour. Oh, that's where you see the Mickey Mouse with no heads.

So yeah, so instead of walking in chaos in specific areas, you get to walk around the chaos, right? When you want to go on a ride, like the way that they have Lightning Lane set up, it's complete fuckery. It's extremely miserable. Like I tried to get Lightning Lane or whatever for the Hollywood Studios.

Right. So then I'm like, oh, I'll get Rise of the Resistance. And I looked it down and you have to... , you got to get this thing.

m. is when they turn it on for everybody. Right. So it's Thunderdome on this fuckin' app, right?

So I'm like, okay, let me, alright, they talked about Rise of Resistance, let me go, let me go 7am, fuckin', I wake up just to punch this in, I'm like, okay, Rise of Resistance, I'm like, oh, oh no, no, if you stayed at a hotel at Disney, then you would be eligible for the Lightning Lane for this ride. So you, Sir Slapdick, Sjebonkevich, you do not qualify for this. I'm like, oh, okay, fuck. Oh, you could, oh, only way to get it is if you stay at a hotel.

Yeah. So you get up at 7:00 for no reason. No, no, you had, so, but you're still eligible for the other rides. Oh, certain rides, you don't have to stay at the hotel.

So then I'm like, okay. It's a ride by ride process. All right, all right, so, so my next, my next go-to is the Slinky ride. Right.

I'm like, okay, well, I'll lock in the Slinky ride. Three minutes have passed. It's 7:03, right? Three fucking minutes have passed.

Everything is damn near gone. I can get the slinky ride in at four o'clock. That was it. Oh, wow.

One fucking- Well, you gotta figure as many people go a day. Right. One fucking lightning- So, I paid an extra for this, I get to use it one fucking time, and that's it. Is it one person?

You get to do, you only get, no, it's for the whole team. Oh, okay. For all of your people. All your people.

But like, they talk it up where it's like, oh, you could probably, if you do it right, You can use the Lightning Lane for three times like there's no fucking way you're going to be able to use Lightning Lane for three premiere rides at any fucking theme park, right? Tell us a secret tell it tell the people to tell us a secret next time. Next time you see him. Well, how do you get the three times?

Oh, well, I said that this was I go. This is extremely discouraging. Brittany told her told the Kennedy Kennedy. m.

We haven't even reached to the park yet. I thought she was going to fucking kill somebody. I'm so sorry, sir. Please don't hit me, sir.

I'm so sorry. And she flat out said, you know, like, yeah, I mean, that's how they have it set up. The reason why it's set up that way is so they wind up taking these VIP tours. Oh.

Right? You just ashed your phone. I know. I'm a complete mess right now.

Yeah, you're flinging stuff everywhere. I'll clean it for you. No, no. That's not cleaning!

Just so you know, I'd rather it stayed on the table. It's not my problem now. You don't work for me. It won't work for me.

What does that have to do with anything? Apparently, I do. I got to clean up after you. You got to do your half.

My half? Yeah. Your third. Your third.

How's the website coming on? For what? You were doing the website for the podcast company. Was I?

Yes. Yeah, you said you'd take that on. I did? A month and a half ago.

How's it going? I don't know. I'm asking. I'm asking for an update.

I didn't know that I was doing that. You said you would handle it. I did? Yes.

I don't believe you. Well, he said he was doing the website, didn't he? Did I say I was going to handle it? I did.

Yes. How's that coming along? A little slower than I thought. One job, Mike.

One job. Oh, I have just the one? You think so? What else you got?

Just the one thing, huh? Just the one. Interesting. Just the one.

You've kept that in your pocket for like the past six days. No, I haven't. No, I haven't. But I've been meaning to ask about the website because as things are going, we're getting to the point where we need that.

Pedro. Where's Pedro? Pedro, I need you. I need your help.

Please help me, Pedro. See? All right. I'm working on it.

You sound like Leah from, you just put the thing into R2-D2. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope. Help me, Pedro.

You're my only hope. Help me, Pedro. You're my only hope. I mean, you know, I guess it's a question of how much is in the bank account, because I could fix this problem fucking today.

We can have this thing up and running. Don't worry. Swipe here. Taking money out of your own pocket.

That's the whole point of the thing. Yeah, but the thing's not that big. We still have work to do in here for the thing. All right, what else, is that it?

So that's what I'm waiting on. I'm waiting on proper funding. Oh, you're waiting? Yeah.

Oh, okay. There you go. Phil, write them a check, Phil. Anything else?

Phil Moneybags Magoo over there. So anyways, had a great time on the vacation, douche. It sounded like it. Yes, you did.

You had a great time. Good. We ate some really good food. We went to Haleo.

I don't know how to say it. On fucking Disney Springs. Still has something to say. What was the best food you ate?

The best food I ate? Yeah. What was the best food you ate? Like I saw you guys went to Be Our Guest.

Okay, so Be Our Guest is really good if you consider theme park food. Right? It is really, really good. Is it mind-boggling food?

No. I will tell you what is fascinating about Be Our Guest is the desserts that they have for the kids. So they have these white chocolate teacups. Right.

And they get to paint them. And then eat them. Oh. So we had three plates that were just a complete fucking, or four plates actually, that were just, you know, complete mess.

But I'm going to tell you, I think that the best meal was Halio. Yeah. Yeah, all types of different meats and stuff. Is that one of those that come around with a sword?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's tapas. But it's actually like real tapas. Oh, it is.

So like. Not Terrence Riley tapas? This is Skip Martin tapas. Yeah, this is Skip.

This is totally different tapas. Totally different level. So this is where everybody orders their own, like, three tapas. Oh.

Yeah, yeah. And you get to kind of, and then there's, of course, apps for the table. You don't fuck around. Wait, how many onion dishes?

There were no onion dishes. Oh, he's probably tired of it now. Nachos? Were there nachos?

There were no nachos. Oh. I don't think so. Those are skips go-tos.

I was just curious. No, this place was legit. The meats that they had were fucking amazing. So the guy who owns Haley was the guy who owns Bazaar.

Oh. I did not know that. I did not either. But it made sense after I had eaten there.

After he had eaten the meat. After I ate the meat. After I ate the meat. He ate the little pieces of meat.

But Phil can't talk right. We should go. Not Phil, but Stan. It's in Disney Springs.

Yeah, sure. All right, we're in. We'll go. Is it as expensive as Bazaar?

No. No, but you're going to pay a premium for being in Disney Springs. Let me just explain. The company doesn't have any money.

We should do a couple things. We should do me, you, Tia, and Brittany, and we can send him pictures. That's fine. that's fine I don't care that's fine no of course no we should all go excluded and left see that see that look look I said I said set the fire lit the ignition that's okay we're at 30 minutes we gotta pick it up a little bit okay you wanna do the stories or go into the news what do you wanna do we have not covered these PCA things and these things are important alright cause fucking Tony Gomez right Tony Gomez yeah that's one of the stories Tony Gomez.

Yeah, we've got to talk about that. And not Tony Gomez of LFD, by the way. No, no, no. Tony Gomez of Espinosa.

Espinosa cigars. Who's been really nice to us in the past, but he obviously has like this short-term memory about who we are. He apparently was a little overtaken with his own power that day. Yeah, yeah.

He even pushed my wife. Yeah, super aggressive. Super aggressive. Super aggressive.

So, you want to go ahead? No, you go ahead. No, you go ahead. It's your story.

No, you. All right, Guy Fieri is set up. He's up in the Espinosa booth and they have a line of people waiting to get in to see him. Now, Michael and me and Phil and my wife, you needed to say something to Jack.

Yeah, I was just going to talk to Jack. Just talk to Jack for a minute, who was helping run, he was handing hats or something. Yeah, some shit. So we go up from the side.

Not in the line. We're not getting a line. No, we're not getting a line. We have no intention of, we don't want to meet Guy Fieri.

We're not trying to cut lines to meet Guy. None of this shit. So then, Tony, who's a large man. He's a large man.

Does this linebacker, He's pushing a little. I mean, there's not like there was 12 of us. It was four. And I'm like, dude, what the fuck are you doing?

I don't want to see Guy Fieri. Calm down. I got to tell Jack something. Yeah, just relax.

I just want to talk to Jack. He backs us out of the booth. Yeah. Yes.

So then we decide. Wait, wait. And then Boots comes up with an idea. Oh, was it Boots?

I didn't remember who he was. Yeah. I don't remember who he was. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, was it Boots? I didn't remember who said it. Phil, what did you say? Let's go get Matt Booth.

Let's go get fucking Matt Booth! That's right, we go get Matt, who's a really good friend of Guy Fieri. Who is... Right.

So that we can get past the fucking fuckery of the security guards, so I can say hi to Jack and talk to him. Right. So we make a beeline for Booth, and then we catch him coming towards us. Right.

With his little entourage. Yes. He had... Jeremy Fondy.

Jeremy Fondy. And who else? Justin Andrews, maybe? I don't know.

There was a couple of people. And Fondy's passing out the PCA Booth samples, like he's got a pocket full, like he's the parade guy or something. That sounds about right with Fondy, yeah. And Booth is headed back over with Guy Fieri's ring that he had made for him.

Yes. Right. So, Michael and Booth walk up. " I mean...

Welcome to Thunderdome. So, no, no, you go ahead, because I didn't walk up with you. " I'm like, "Yeah, fuckin' right. You won't fuckin' stop me.

God, I'm just here for principal at this point. I don't even wanna talk to Jack anymore. " And he sort of looked down and like, "Son of a bitch. " So then we left.

And we gave him shit for the rest of the thing. Well then, so then we're walking with Skip in the fuckin'... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So then we're walking with Skip in the Palazzo lobby.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I can tell a story, don't worry. Okay, no, I didn't remember if we were on the show floor, though, we were in the lobby. No, we were at the palazzo.

We were at the palazzo. You go ahead. I love this tension. There's no tension.

See what happens, we'll see, Haley was going to be amazing, the four of us. There's no tension. So we're walking, and there's me, Boots, Palmer, there's a handful of guys. Right.

" stay back, stay back. And he's like, whoa, whoa, oh, fuck you, you're funny, like, you know. Had to break his balls a little bit. But I think we granted him permission to talk to this guy.

I think he understood who he had wronged. Yeah. We won't let him forget. No, no.

Don't worry. We'll see you at TPE, Tony. Was he, oh, he was the bagel guy last year. Yeah, we sat and bullshitted with him forever.

That's right. Because we were there as retailers and like, that's where we posted. It was like our place to kind of hang. We just sort of sat there.

Yeah, because we love Hector, we love Jack, you know, we love Eric. Bill has something to say. I think Tony apologized to us later. I think he did, too.

Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. I don't want you to be sorry, I want you to be better. You get him a shirt, you get him a shirt, says it on him.

Don't be sorry, be better. Powstanie on the front, it says, don't be sorry, be better. Alright, now the shingle story, which is my favorite story. Oh, yes, yes.

I love the shingle story. Poor Miguel, man. Crowned heads. That, that's Miguel's Shadell?

Yeah. i mean this guy what a trooper right he's out there fucking huffing he's taking care of sales he's taking care of business and he's got the shingles you know he's in a suit so obviously no one can see any of it or whatever right it's a terrible terrible disease but he's in fucking pain and he's it's a nerve disorder yeah he's not bitching about it everything hurts you get this terrible rash yeah you pull him aside i'm like are you doing okay and he's like man you know to be honest you didn't like pat him on the back or something i didn't wow i didn't whack him or So I was in that booth originally with Palmer, and we started later on, this is more Palmer's story than it is mine, so later on we shared the news that we were like, man, you know, it sucks that Miguel has the shingles, and Boots kind of loses his mind. You know how contagious that is? Like he goes overly nuts about the fact that somebody's here with the shingles.

Meanwhile, fucking COVID blows up all of PCA, which is fucking hilarious. That's our lead story for the news. So, Palmer is always walking around with boots, and Palmer runs into another Miguel. Another Miguel, who's a rep, I believe.

Yeah, the top rep in the tri-state, he's like a broker, he's a fucking awesome guy. He says hi to Michael, the bro hug, and the handshake, he says hi to me, the handshake, he goes, or maybe hug, I think he hugged me first, and went to you, so I lean over to Boots and go, that's the Miguel, that's the guy with the shingles. Because his tag says Miguel on it, so Boots don't know who anybody is. So he goes to hug Boots, and Boots backs up, ho, sort of does a little dodge.

" So he tried again, and then Boots jigged the other way, y'all, went the other direction. Oh my god, it was amazing. And then we're just laughing our asses. It was fucking amazing to pull a joke on somebody that has no idea I don't know what the hell's going on, you know, and Mike was like insulted.

He probably won't talk to us anymore. No, he probably forgot about it now, but we'll bring it up. We'll bring it up again. Yeah.

All right. So that was fun. And then the Coaster story. In the car.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh. So Coaster runs Smoke Manioc.

Smoke Manioc? Yeah, Smoke Manioc. Smoke Manioc. In Philly.

Philly? Pennsylvania. It's in Pennsylvania. Manioc.

That makes sense. Near Philadelphia. Where he was born and raised. Yeah.

In that area. So the show's over and him and his fucking cronies are all in a car. It's a little car. It's this little fucking beep beep.

Right. And they cut us off going down the road. So I'm like, oh, this is a great opportunity. So I fucking get on their ass and I get closer and closer and closer.

And he's looking in the rear view mirror and he's like, what the fuck? Starts to kind of freak out. The light turned green. It turns green, I slam on the horn, and I'm like, eh, for a super long time, right?

He doesn't know it's us. Right, so they're no longer cutting, cutting off, now he's, now he's like, not driving fast. No, now he's 10 and 2. Yeah, doing a standard speed limit.

Right. Just kind of, then like, there's, there, there's a lot of, you could see the seriousness in this car. They have no idea who's fucking with them, but they think like, oh shit. So for the next two red lights, you do the same thing.

Yeah, so the next red light happens, I fucking get on their ass and I do it again. Now they're starting to take off their fucking show IDs and stuff like that, because they think they're going to jump out of the car, which would have been entertaining. So they've changed lanes at the next light, so we can pull up alongside. And that's when I think they're going to jump out and grab us.

But nobody wanted to turn and look. Nobody wanted to make eye contact. Yeah, they're not making eye contact. We have our windows rolled down, we're just staring at them, and they're just like, flat.

No one looked that way. No one looked that way. So then we start moving and then I honk my horn again and our windows are down and coast looks up is, Oh, you dicks. Oh, you hit the wrong car.

We're going to kick your ass. Which was fucking amazing. They thought for sure that, you know, they're about to get their ass kicked by a bunch of, you know, I don't know. Gang members of the fucking Toyota four on here or something.

It's fucking hilarious. But Costa, we love you. Yeah. You can, you can beat us all up.

Sure. Sure. Sure. No problem.

Yeah. We should be fine. Yeah. Right.

Poor Eli. Is that the guy in the back? That's the guy in the passenger seat. Yeah, I saw him take his neck off.

Oh, yeah, they all did. All did. " Yeah. Who didn't want to lose us in the fight?

Awesome. Right. For what? For cutting somebody off?

Hey, we're at 40 minutes. There's not a whole lot of news, but there's a really good Florida story, though. All right. Hit me.

All right. From the four quarters of the world, For the owners of the world, all the cigar industry news you could possibly need, the Cigar Hustler Podcast Report with Mike Toon. PCA 2022 attendees returning home to positive COVID-19 results. Really?

So I've seen so far, David Garofalo has it. Oh. Fred Rui has it. Uh-huh.

The Hawaiian Ninja has it. Okay. Well, let's get into the story. What remains unclear, how many people will ultimately be affected?

Many people are returning from the 2022 PCA Convention and Trade Show infected with COVID-19. Multiple people have announced or privately shared with the Half Wheel that they have received positive COVID-19 results after returning from the 2022 PCA Convention and Trade Show. The head of one of the largest exhibitors at the trade show told Half Wheel that nearly half of the company's staff members that were in Las Vegas have tested positive for COVID in the recent days. so it's one of the biggest so i'm thinking uh padrone okay fuente yes um septiva was the big one yeah sept sept sept sept the one with the five the five million dollar lighter guys september septima the one that looked like a jeopardy i know who it is i can't think of the name yeah el septimo el septimo is it rocky rocky i'm thinking those four there's not those are the four guys not i'm trying to think who else would have been about that size seems like there's one more oh um um placentia they had a big booth placentia had a decent one yeah so did ed reed pop positive that's i mean there's your if ed reed pop positive then you know oh there's placentia yeah oh no i don't believe he did i don't think he'd report if he did then uh uh phil might have it that's true if you've been tested then phil would have it interesting all right scott pierce executive but oh you're still we're still on the same okay scott pierce executive director of the The Premium Cigar Association told Halfville that he was aware of individuals testing positive for COVID after attending the trade show and that he was in contact with the organization's board.

Ugh, what a gut punch. Yeah. About the next steps PCA would take, Halfville was informed of at least one individual who tested positive Thursday, July 7th, in Las Vegas and was immediately returned home before the trade show even started and has since been made aware of numerous other individuals who tested positive either during the trade show or upon returning home. Yep.

Clark County show, the number of drops in the county where the show was, the actual COVIDs are down. Okay. So, somebody from out of town probably brought it. Of course!

I mean, it's a major fucking convention. Right. We bring them all together, and then we spread. That's what happened at TPE 2020.

That's right. Yeah. Right. Yeah, Costa blew us all up, and then we got our revenge.

Booth actually was calling it the PCA super spreader, before it happened. Yeah, for the super spreader event. Yeah, super spreader event, the PCA. So, okay, first of all, there's a lot to unpack here.

There's a lot to unpack here. Right. Number one, if you're from Florida, and you had a stuffy nose or some shit like that, or, you know, a little light fever, and you tested, what the fuck are you doing? A lot of people were testing, they'll go, I felt fine, but I took the test, and I have it.

Why the fuck are you taking the test? Well, what's wrong with you? What are you thinking? What the fuck are you thinking?

I have tests at home that the government sent. I'm not taking it, I feel fine. We are two years deep at this point. Well, almost three at this point.

two and a half years of this fuckery right right we have done all of the right things people who have chosen to wear masks at the right time people who have decided to get back or not get vaxxed like death rates are practically non-existent at this point when it comes to this thing oh i right i mean if believe me if they were there we would see them all over the fucking news you'd be talking about it right right so just deal with it i don't what else you want I'm sorry. I'm watching Phil who's going to drop the monitor in a minute. Like, you have to go into these shows with anticipation that there's a good chance that you're going to get sick. Somebody's going to get sick, right.

Whether it be COVID, flu, whatever the fuck, all we're doing is just shaking hands and hugging. Of course, we're going to fucking blow up one way or the other. Right. Unless you have shingles.

Unless you have shingles. And your name is Miguel. And your name's Miguel. Yeah.

You know, I mean, fuck. So, like, it's kind of a thing. So, I don't know. I don't know, I, you know, I don't know why these, I don't know why these Floridians are testing.

They're not, um, not all of them Floridians, I mean like David, I'm specifically talking to the Floridians. Oh, just talking to the Floridians, ah, I gotcha, okay. Fred Rui, Fred Rui, why'd you test? Maybe he felt bad, maybe.

You're from Florida, bro, we don't test in Florida, we know this. Maybe he just needed the social media content. We stay wide open, all the time. Uh, Fred went on that, that's when he went on the camping adventure with his, uh, his lovely wife.

With their little pull-behind camper thing, he disappeared during COVID. Oh, he went out in the woods. That's very wise. Yeah.

Duck and cover. Duck and cover, right. But now look at him. Now he's everywhere.

Now he's got the sniffles. Right now I'm feeling good. Yeah. I mean, come on, man.

Give me a break. All right. New York's banning smoking in state-owned parks and beaches. Including cigars?

Yep. On Friday, New York Governor Kathy something signed a bill into law that will make it illegal to smoke at state-owned parks, beaches, and other recreation others, including marinas and boardwalks. Because, you know... Smoking is a dangerous habit that affects not only the smoker, but everyone around them, including families and children enjoying our state's great public beaches, Kathy says.

Think of the children! I'm proud to sign this legislation that will protect New York's health and help reduce litter in public parks and beaches across the state. There are some exemptions to the ban, notably the Adirondack and Catskill parks, as well as sidewalks, immediately adjoining parks, and pedestrian routes that are adjacent to vehicular traffic. Why can't you smoke in the Adirondack and the Catskills?

I think that the statement of the, whatever the fuck that guy is. It's her. Oh, whatever her name is. The Governor, Kathy.

Kathy Hochul. Kathy Hochul. Should I just say? H-O-C-H-U-L.

What we're trying to do is we're really trying to run out as many fucking people as we possibly can. And this is the current thing that we can think of that'll really... I mean, I've heard of the Catskills, but I haven't heard of the Adirondacks. Is it like maybe a big touristy area, so they want you to be able to smoke things?

Here you go, we're going to pay, here's a ton of fucking taxes. Right. You still here? No more smoking anywhere.

Oh. You gonna go yet? No? Okay.

Prima Nocte. Oh! That's the next step. That's the next step.

That's where they're going. This is just progressive. She's Prima Nocte, so it's with the guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They might be okay with that. It depends on what she looks like. Well, you know, I mean, hey. Hey, honey, I can't help it.

I'm sorry. She Prima Nocted me. What do you want me to do? We could move.

Yeah. We could move. But your parents live here. But you're really happy in New York, aren't you?

Very good job done in the garment industry. The smoke-free, high-tax, over-regulated state that we are, you know, you love it here, right? Right. So, as soon as we get married, I'm fucking this catty lady.

Prima nocte. That's right. The law will go in effect in 90 days, and once it does, violators will be subject to a $50 fine. 50 bucks.

Let's see. January through April 2022, premium cigar imports beat last year, Michael. I believe that. Despite a slowdown at the end of last year, premium cigar imports through the first four months of 2022 were stronger than the same four months period in 2021.

Tell me the last four months of this year. That's what I want to know. According to a new report from the CAA, not the CRA, the Cigar Association of America. 49 million cigars were imported to the United States between January 1st and April 30th.

3% compared to 2021. Are we still short cigars? We are not short cigars. No, not here personally, but there are back orders for different things still?

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 3 percent, but we still can't get all the orders filled. No. All right.

But here's what happens. Yeah. It all dumps in. Yeah.

And the sales slow. Oh, I guess it's too much. Don't stop. Stop.

The growth is largely fueled by Nicaragua, which remains the dominant exporter premium cigars. Of course. Get them things made. Donde esta?

Let's go. We can do it more. Where is? Yeah, where is?

Where is the cigars? Cigaros? Vamos. Andale.

There you go. That's better. That's the Russian-Spanish guy? Yeah, the one guy in the back.

What one guy? Who's making the 54's? Uh... Shh, shh, shh.

He's Mejor. No, faster, faster! No, no, no. I make one I want to make, and this will be Mejor.

833 million. Wow. 345 million. 345.

They really stretched it. 345, yes. 345, but why did we go to the, what is it, the thousandth? That's actually down, because Honduras is actually down.

Oh. 39%. Yeah, so they really want to throw that five number up there. Right.

345. 29% in the EBITDA. That's a lot of EBITDA. A lot of EBITDA.

Crushing it. This is a bit surprising for two reasons. Tell me. S.

, the large number on record Due to the CAA. Second, that record-setting year came despite some trail- I don't know what this means, we're moving on. Oh, come on, that's where- The difference between the two are that there are some machine-made cigars that meet US definition of a large cigar, though those cigars would not be considered premium, excuse me, by most people. So Charlie is telling you about fuckery.

Yes. He's breaking down the fuckery. Breaking down the fuckery. In the data.

Our new supplier. You know, I want to start writing headlines for Half Wheel. Oh, yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Don't you have early access to stories? You just make up your own headlines? Yeah, so that way, so what's the headline for this? January through April 2022, premium cigar imports beating last year.

Yeah, so I could say, fuckery about data analysis skewed, question mark? Oh, that'd be nice. See that? And then everybody would read this.

It'd be amazing. You're welcome, Charlie. Charlie, you're welcome. I'm here for you.

All right, feds allege Blue Mountain cigar owners underpaid the excise tax. Uh-oh. I saw them at the show. Sneaky, sneaky.

They were there. Not a very busy booth, so I'm sorry, I can't wait that money back. Guess what? Sabone Corporation, an importer of premium cigars, being sued in the United States Court of International Trade over nearly $115,000 in unpaid federal excise tax.

And it used a fictitious company called Blue Mountain Cigars to do so. You'd think they would not use the Blue Mountain name in their booth. So we looked up Blue Mountain. Hard to find.

So we're going through the list of people, and we see the Blue Mountain, is that the PCA? We should talk to them, gentlemen. I think we should stop in. Stop in and see them.

The suit states that from July 8, 2013 through December 2, 2015, wow, they're really going way back, aren't they? Mm-hmm. 98, and FVT should have been paid by Sabone for imported cigars. 17.

17, that's a really good show. The cigar is manufactured in Nicaragua and exported to Montana Azul Cigars SA. 829 million cigars. Wow.

All right, Michael, this just in, then we have Florida Story. Okay. Fuente suing Blackbeard the Pirate for using an X marks a spot on his treasure map. Oh.

They are seeking damages and a portion of the pirate booty. - We're raising the stakes. - The X, the X is serious. - X marks spot, Opus X, let's go.

- It's after Blackbeard now. - Naked, oh we have two Florida stories. - Naked Florida man starts house fire while smoking pot and drinking. - That was the end of that story?

- The Florida story? - The Florida story? - Oh, the X-I-Stacks, I don't know, there's a lot of that stuff. - Yeah, the Opus X.

- Oh, the Opus X, yeah, it's just a blurb, it just was released. Just off the wire. - Hey, this just didn't, so somebody wanted to say, just so you know, No, Charlie actually probably did his research, he's like, hey, just so you know, we're fucking suing someone else to. Right.

I like the double down, I appreciate that. We're going after everybody with an X. You know what, when people start chastising you, because it's been all over social media, like, oh, what, we can't use X, we can't use X's? I'd be like, who else use the X?

Fuck you, fuck you, let's go. Look, they made us a list, they made a list, there we go. Oh, this is so much easier, thanks for the 20 X's. Okay, hey, so-and-so, go ahead and get on this.

Oh, Malcolm X, we're after you too. No problem. And a naked Florida man starts a house fire while he's smoking pot drinking and baking cookies on his George Forming grill. Oh.

Can you make, apparently you can make cookies on a George Forming grill? I mean, hey, whatever it takes. That's one of those ones you close, right? Was he treated like a pancake pan or some shit?

According to reports from Northeast Florida Daily News and the Niceville Police and Fire Department, a naked man rescued from a house fire admitted to accidentally setting his house on fire after he drank. Ooh, that, that's not in Destin. If you drink two liters of vodka, smoke marijuana, and attempted to make cookies in the indoor grill, he's really drunk, he's like, "You know what? " Right?

You have to, the back and forth is what people watch. Oh. Not for me to say something stupid and then you text somebody. I'm sorry?

Unless you text or you reply to me. Yeah, was that you? I don't even know what you texted. Hmm.

Maybe you should look at your phone. According to reports, the grill and cookies caught fire after he left the grill unattended. "When the man attempted to cover the flames with the tiles, he also set the tile on fire. " "It's a liquid.

" Uh, alcohol poisoning? Two liters of vodka? He's fine, he's fine. See that?

No alcohol poisoning. He left his mic on, he's like, ah, here's my chance. Here's my chance. There it is, look at him, he's turning red, I love it.

Pet monkey bites boy at Carrabba's restaurant in Stuart Flores. What in the fuck is a pet monkey doing at Carrabba's? Let's find out. Yeah.

Alright, an informally weekly event known as Monkey Monday. Oh! At Carrabba's Italian Grill in Stuart was canceled after an eight-year-old boy was bitten by one of the two pet monkeys brought by a local couple. According to the Miami Herald, the couple started the exotic pet-friendly tradition when they brought their two pet monkeys to eat outside of Carabba's patio.

Eventually, the wait staff started calling the patrons' weekly routine as "Monkey Monday". They love the breadsticks there or something? The monkeys do, yeah. And the carbonara.

Olive oil? I like that too. Calamari? No, no, not squid.

It's the heads that freaks the monkeys out. Okay. However, those days are over after a nine-month-old capuchin named Jojo bit an eight-year-old boy on the finger. On July 16th, the Herald State JoJo, the monkey owners, warned an eight-year-old boy and his father who were dining on the patio that the monkey was being hyper, in parentheses.

The boy then pet the monkey who was seated in a high chair at the table. The monkey had a high chair. Interesting. It's funny.

High chair at the table. When the boy returned to pet JoJo again in the meal, the monkey bit the boy on his pinky finger. Dang. Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission investigated the monkey owner's home, which they found to be safe and adequate for a monkey.

For monkeys. For the five -- oh, they have five monkeys the couple owns. Five monkeys. Five monkeys.

I wonder how they pick which two get to go to Carabas. Hey, you'll be good monkey, you'll go to get the fish sticks. Seven more. You get the breadsticks.

Seven more, they're at 12. Whatever's that like? Twelve monkeys. Oh, jumping out of them?

One falls off in his head? No. The movie. Brad Pitt.

Oh, I thought you were talking about the children's song. It's a children's song. Oh, that's five little monkeys. I thought it was ten.

You can start with ten, but that's a hell of a song. You do, so the kid will go to sleep, it's like 99 bottles of beer in the world. My kid will not go to sleep to five little monkeys jump on the bed, or ten little monkeys. She starts jumping on the bed.

Oh, probably. Yeah, yeah. But the official wildlife did cite the owner for not having JoJo's rabies shots up to date. Oh, no.

The veterinarian mistakenly told him the rabies vaccine wasn't required. Oh, my bad. No, sorry, you don't need it for a monkey. They have since updated Drabies vaccine to the Herald reports.

As for those Monkey Mondays, Carrabba's manager, Ramon Cook, told the Herald that they are now canceled. No more Monkey Mondays. Henceforth, the restaurant patio will only allow recognized service dogs and ponies. Monkey Mondays is canceled at Macaroni Grill.

We're moving on. I don't think Macaroni Grill is around anymore. Who knows? I'm just saying.

It could happen. Why not Monkey Mondays at McDonald's? Monkey Mondays at McDonald's. Or McDougal's.

Hey, you know what they say: "I'm down for whatever, but you're bringing your own monkey". Oh, I say it all the time. All the time. We have a Listener of the Week, Michael.

We do. Listener of the Week is Paul Lindenfelsner. Oh, I like Paul. Today is his birthday!

It is his birthday. It is your birthday, Paul. Happy birthday, Paul. And you have not trolled us in quite a while.

Yeah, it's been kind of quiet. A little quiet lately. Do you have a listen? Oh, look, 57.

Perfect. I'm so good at this. Yeah. Do you have a little Shop of the Week, Michael?

Michael? Do I have a shop? You have to fill two and a half minutes. Over there.

Phil's not pointing at cameras. I'm feeling the pressure here. Do I have a shop of the week? Let me see here.

I can fill this. No problem. Michael Joseph. Fucking damn.

Burn you with muscle. Did she say that at all at Disney? No. Did you teach Arlen how to say it in Spanish?

Or did Arlen teach her how to say it in Spanish? Michael Joseph. No, Skip Martin, don't you dare, I'll burn you with my smoke. Burned you with my smoke.

Donde, Senor Martino? I'll tell you who I'm going to do. Who are you going to do? Who are you going to do?

They're never going to know. Who's going to know? Nobody. Just for him.

Just for him in, uh, Missouri, it's, uh, Springfield, Missouri. I've been there. I know you have. Several times.

So, they came by the booth, unfortunately we weren't there at the time. Oh, I've met the owner too. They had to deal with Greg. Oh, we're very sorry.

Christian and Jess, they weren't there. No? Someone else. One of his peoples.

One of my people. Oh, he's peoples. But they checked in, and they deserve to be the retailer of the week. I met the man from Casper too, in Wyoming.

Yes. They were there. Donovan. They got us so we could mark off the entire United States, because Wyoming was the last one.

Yes. I got to give it to them, man. They're working their asses off. They're doing a great job on social media.

They have their own, like, they're building, you know? Absolutely. I see it. You see it.

I see the effort. You can tell. Yeah, and they got some kind of award for a PCA for, like, helping state legislation or something like that. A lot of the media guys give out awards at the show, and it becomes a big thing.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hit the brakes on that. Okay, go ahead. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. What, we can't give out awards?

Sure we can. We should do awards. I thought you said, where the hell's our awards? Oh, no, no, we don't deserve awards.

No, no, I want to give them out so we get pictures with people. We have threatened to do that multiple times. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we have. We have.

But our awards have to be funding. Well, yes, they're gonna be stupid awards, like we give one to Casey for not being sick at the PCA 2022. Yeah. But you give to him the following year, it seems like, so.

Yeah. And then we, um, maybe like, most likely to be patient zero at PCA. Oh, that, yeah, that'd be good too. And that'd be, that'd be a great award.

Great award. Uh, the least relevant person at the 2022 PCA. Mr. Irrelevant.

Right. Or Mrs. Yeah. And we go find Rocky and give it to him.

Oh, shit. That's some cold-blooded shit. I will do that if you want to do that. Except we tell him we have an award.

We don't tell him what it is. And then as he's posing for the photo, we go, you're the most relevant man at the... Yeah. And then he tells us we have to leave.

Get the fuck out right now. I haven't talked to him... I think the last time I talked to him was in Nicaragua fucking like eight years ago. Oh.

Rocky! I was pointing all these people out to Adrian, like, oh, there's Mr. Padron, there's Rocky Patelio, he goes, oh, it's Rocky Patelio, he goes, yeah, he doesn't speak like an Indian at all, it's kind of weird. Yeah, we make fun of it, because we're just stupid.

He sounds like a New York lawyer. Yeah. He goes, really? He sounds like a pro.

Yeah, sounds like a professional man. But if you're not here, you're not relevant. That's right. God damn it.

All right. All right, we're one hour. Hot dog, we made it, Michael. Woo!

All right, everybody, it's been episode 230 of Cigar Hustler Podcast. We appreciate all of you listening. Thank you very much. Thank you very much.

And remember, we're part of the Hustler Universe Podcast Network, where you have to listen to all the shows now, apparently. So that's bad. Oh, Mikey has left the building. All right, we gotta go.

Bye! The Cigar Hustlers Podcast, its owners and its sponsors take no responsibility for the opinions or statements made by the talk show host or their guest. Statements or show topics are not necessarily the beliefs of Mike and Mike Productions or the podcast providers, and opinions between talk show hosts may differ. It is not our intention to libel, incite, or hurt anyone's feelings.

We invite you to write the show's host, Mike Szczepankiewicz, with any feedback or suggestions that you have for their shows. These broadcasts are presented and made public as entertainment in the hope that they will be entertaining to the audience. This has been a Cigar Hustlers Podcast, a Mike & Mike production. m.

for all new episodes. Hi, I'm doing... I'm Hustoy Raw. Yeah, we just don't have to do a single podcast ever again.

Perfect. I'm good, Mike and Mike. How are you guys doing? The Hojo, the...

Hojo! It's the Hojo! He didn't even let him fuck it up all the way. I couldn't get past Hojo!

I don't even have to try it. He's not even gonna try it. We're not even going to try. We're going to cover a lot of ground here, Mike.

All right. Try to keep up. That's a sign of a good podcast. It'd be like four cigars when I walked in a door.

All right, end this.

Show Notes

Mikeys Disney Adventure...don't make cookies when your high...Italian food and a Monkeys sometimes just don't mix! and a few PCA magic stories