ACHO Episode 477 What Do You Mean New Whopper?
Episode Summary
Episode 477 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast opens with Mike Palmer, Mikey and Phil McGuffey in their usual loose, off-the-rails format before getting to news. The non-cigar half of the show covers the federal indictment of Squatty Potty founder Robert "Bobby" Edwards, a tangent on Jared Fogle's remaining prison sentence, a Canadian study on fecal microbiota transplant ("poop pill") capsules easing immunotherapy side effects for kidney cancer patients, and Burger King's first Whopper redesign in nearly a decade — a premium bun, creamier mayo, a box instead of paper wrapper, and an estimated $4,000 per year in added cost to franchisees. Phil shows up mid-episode with Whopper Juniors instead of full Whoppers, which sparks a long-running argument about whether the Junior will get the same upgrades.
On the cigar side, the crew breaks down Rojas Street Tacos Cinco de Mayo 2026 (a 6 x 54 Toro with an Ecuadorian Habano wrapper, Mexican San Andrés binder, and Nicaraguan Jalapa plus Connecticut Broadleaf filler, made at Rojas' own factory, roughly $12.50, 2,000 boxes). They also cover Fratello's move to the Dominican Republic and the new Fratello 1821 Dominican Republic — the first release in a single-country Puro collection made at La Aurora in Santiago — noting the irony that DR tariffs (walked back from 15% to 10%) undercut the tariff-dodging strategy, with a Nicaraguan 1821 to follow. Viaje Skull & Bones Red returns for 2026 with the Red Big Ivan, Red Fat Man and Red Little Boy after three years away.
The "What's the Score" segment tackles Brooks Whittington's March 2013 half wheel review of the Arturo Fuente Opus X Football — an estimated $500, 5 x 128 novelty cigar with a Dominican Chateau de la Fuente rosado wrapper. The review pans it as one-dimensional and persistently bitter, "more entertaining to look at than to smoke," scoring 83; Palmer's 84 guess wins. Along the way there's shop talk about a mis-picked online order of Pertegás Broadleaf (Bellicoso vs. Corona Gorda), pricing glitches on the CHPod store, Palmer's Neanderthal love, and a bizarre Chinese phone-attached long-distance kissing device.
In This Episode
- 01Squatty Potty Founder IndictedThe crew reacts to federal charges against Squatty Potty founder Robert "Bobby" Edwards following an FBI Cyber Division dark web sting.
- 02Burger King Redesigns the WhopperA premium bun, creamier mayo and a box replace the classic build — plus roughly $4,000 a year in new costs pushed onto franchisees.
- 03Poop Pills and Cancer TreatmentNew Canadian trials on freeze-dried fecal microbiota transplant capsules reducing immunotherapy side effects get the full ACHO treatment.
- 04Whopper Jr. Taste Test On AirPhil arrives late with Whopper Juniors, sparking a debate over whether the Junior will get the same upgrades as the full Whopper.
- 05Rojas Street Tacos Cinco de Mayo 2026The third annual limited-edition Toro with Ecuadorian Habano wrapper, San Andrés binder and Jalapa/Broadleaf filler, priced around $12.50.
- 06Fratello 1821 Dominican RepublicFratello's new single-country Puro collection made at La Aurora, and how DR tariffs blunted the plan to sidestep them.
- 07Viaje Skull & Bones Red ReturnsThe Red Big Ivan, Red Fat Man and Red Little Boy ship for the first time in three years.
- 08What's the Score: Opus X FootballGuessing Brooks Whittington's 2013 score for the $500 Arturo Fuente Opus X Football novelty cigar.
Brands & Cigars Discussed
Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.
Transcript
Welcome to a Cigar Hustler Podcast episode 477. Was that going? Didn't we just go 477 yesterday? No, it was 476 yesterday.
Are we starting over? Are we rolling? I don't know what's going on. Did it record that part?
Uh, maybe. I don't know. Redo it. Welcome to a Cigar Hustler podcast.
Wait, you're too fast. The camera was on Mikey. Why is the camera on Mikey? And three, two, one.
Oh, we're counting down like Preston's show now. Welcome to a Cigar Hustler podcast episode 477. That's the better show. I'm Mike Palmer, your host.
Well, it's your show anyway, so. It's not my show. I'm Mike Palmer, your host. And with me today is Phil McGuffey, star of the porn industry.
Really? What? He's a big star in the porn industry. Oh, really?
Who he's like, "Fill Me Up", "Fill Me Up Buttercup". Wow. "Fill a Night in Paris". And as my co-host, Mikey, I've started my own multi-level sports coaching league, Stepan Gavich.
You have? No. Welcome to him. He's at iFlag I was talking about the other day, I found out.
Oh, he was in the commercial. He was in the commercial. I didn't recognize your voice. You guys know I don't do anything lucrative.
Well, we do know that. That's true. Alright guys, welcome to the show. Mikey, you just did Simply Stogies yesterday.
Yeah, I did it earlier this week. Oh, that's right. It just came out today. Yeah.
This will be Monday show. It came out last Friday. Okay. Who's Simply Stogies?
It's another podcast. Yeah, he's a good guy. It's a good show. Yeah, we met him at PCA, I think, last year.
Oh, okay. Yes, they interviewed you briefly at PCA last year. Yeah, you did a good job. Yeah.
Said a lot of nice things. Thank you very much. Oh, about you? Yes.
Oh, I didn't think you'd hear them. Wow. This is awkward. Obviously.
Yes. What's the best compliment? The best form of a compliment is a compliment that you say behind somebody's back. Right.
Yeah. Well, I told you I said several nice things about you when I was on the show, too. Yeah, you better. That's what the money's for.
You have to lie to everybody. I lied to everybody. He's amazing. I love you so much.
Somebody, what was it last week? Somebody said, can't you just say it's a hostile work environment? And I go, no, that was years ago. We're not allowed to discuss that anymore.
I'm not permitted to say these things. I'm allowed to say that's on the list of words. I'm not allowed to say. 3 million.
God, yes. It's good to be the king. You gotta be close. Poop is...
I work for you. Yeah. You've been embezzling cash since... There's no cash to embezzle, that's the problem.
There's plenty of cash to embezzle. There's no cash to embezzle. That's how we said on the show this night, Skip gets it all. Skip gets all the money.
Skip gets all the money. Skip takes my money. Boop is the new penicillin. I hope not.
Phil will like that story. Then cigars, we get new tacos, Fratello invades the DR, and we've got pirate cigars coming out. Again? Or her.
Or pirate cigars. But first, how do we get some of that sweet, That's sweet CHPod swag, Michael. Well, first of all, if you like what you hear or see here, please like and subscribe wherever you're viewing or listening. If you like our edumacation.
If you enjoy our edutainment. Oh, whatever it's called. Yeah, it's not edumacation. I like edumacation.
Check out, like, and subscribe, and then if you want to pick up some swag, because we've got some badass swag. Bring it, Michael. You're not very loud today. com.
A little reserved for Friday. You can pick up our CH Pod swag. It's because this is when he gets no sleep. The weekend begins, so does the sports.
When do I get to sleep? I don't get to sleep at all. About 20 minutes over there in that chair as soon as the show's over. Yeah, I like to try and do it beforehand.
It's better. I have more energy. Or during the show when we're playing, gets the score. We have had a few times you've dozed off during the show.
Yes, tired. A lot of comments today, but a lot of them were on shorts. So, one of those, you know, well somebody said that the Costco burning down in Mexico was fake. Really?
Yeah. Put out by Costco? Mexico was fine. It was, the Costco in Mexico was fine.
It was some cars, trucks, and motorcycles that were burned in front of Costco. Oh. Oh, maybe there's hope for that cartel yet. So they were eating the hot dogs while burning cars.
Yeah. Makes perfectly good sense. Maybe they were cooking the hot dogs over the cars. Who knows?
Yeah, it was a cookout. A cookout. Hey, man, we need cooked hot dogs. Yeah, so, um...
I got the cars. I don't, I can't go through all the short comments. There's a ton of short comments. So, I just, if you comment on the show, I'll, you know.
Oh. No good ones? There's a couple good ones. Well, read the good ones.
They're on shorts. I want comments on my shows. What do you, what did you light up? Hostania.
Oh. Yeah. Is that Habano? Yeah.
Midday. Midday is Habano. Beginning of the day is Connecticut, midday Habano, end of the day San Andreas, and then Neanderthal. Gotcha.
Neanderthal is the greatest Roma Craft cigar, if not the greatest cigar of all time. The HN. Yes. All right.
Have you heard of the Squatty? Well, we're on with the show then. We're just going to move right on. Unless you got somebody you want to phone call.
No? Want to call Jack again so he can say bad things about me? Tommy? No, that didn't go well.
No, I just accept it now. You're just good with it. We've beaten you to a point where you just accept it. I don't even fight back anymore.
Like, yes. Hey, you familiar with Squatty Potty? Yes. Do you have a Squatty Potty?
I do not. Phil, do you have a, it seems like somebody Phil would have. Do you have a Squatty Potty? No.
That little stool you put in front of the toilet? We can raise your legs up. Raise your legs up so you poop better? No.
You have flow with your poop? It wasn't in that movie Phil Ma Poop, Squatty Potty? Did you film a poop? That porn movie you did?
No. No. Okay. All right.
The millionaire founder has been charged in federal court. Of the squatty potty? Yes. Tell me it's money laundering.
That'd be amazing. What is it? Okay. It's not money laundering.
What is it? You want to try again? Ooh. Falsifying squatty potty rules?
Tax evasion. Robert Bobby Edwards. Oh wait, Epstein. He's an Epstein guy.
Nah, we don't. Oh, that would be funny, but no. We don't arrest those people. We don't arrest those people.
Only for the documents. I thought this was the first arrest being made, the Squatty Potty guy. As long as you brought that up, there's a rumor that Ellen DeGeneres is a cannibal. Oh my God.
The amount of trash I have to read for this show. Yeah. But Epstein Files have put that as a myth. That is not true.
She is not a cannibal. She does not eat people. people well i mean i mean it made sense when i was reading it you're like i knew it like no she eats people uh well there was i just somebody told me a story and i don't know if it's true or not about like the jameson guy like the founder of jameson whiskey he would go to a place where he would watch a person get eaten makes sense does it i don't know i don't know the guy me neither but they show that the one commercial where the barrel falls off the boat and he jumps in after Yeah. And then he watched the person get eaten.
Maybe. It was like his thing. Who knows how true that is. All right, anyway, back to the show.
Yes. Robert Bobby Edwards, 50, was arrested for allegedly buying and receiving countless images of kiddie porn. Oh. So you start a company, you bring in your mom, your dad, your brother, your cousin, you go on Shark Tank, you hook up with Lori, what's her name?
What's her name? 3 million. I have all this money. What am I gonna do?
Oh, why don't I just go on the dark web and buy Kitty Born? The children. Let me look at the children. Right.
S. Attorney's Office in the District of Utah, already having problems in Utah, announced Monday the entrepreneur whose product promises to help users get off the toilet was indicted by the federal grand jury on February 10th and arrested February 12th. When the FBI Cyber Division set up a sting, went into one of these dark web chat rooms where they're all watching kiddie porn, he was there. There's a chat room of this?
Well, they say into a room. I mean, I don't think, I don't know if it was like into a real room with a bunch of people, or they're into a chat room and his handle was Squatty Potty 1. I was just going to say that. Dude, you took the words right out of my mouth.
What was his username? Squatty Potty 1. It was a chat group, or a chat room, or they went into a room, they don't say, but they say they saw everybody watching it, and he was one of them. Right.
So I don't know if somebody recognized him from Shark Tank, or something, or, I mean, dude. Did that person get in trouble that reported him, because they were in there? No, no, the FBI went in there. They were the FBI.
They were the FBI. So he set up a sting, he bought some from the, from the FBI, and whoop, in the pokey he goes. Dude. That's so weird, man.
Let's get him and the subway guy to fight to the death. Oh. You know what I mean? Oh, Jared?
Yeah. Didn't he get out? I think he's out now. No.
I think he's out. They don't throw these people under the jail? No, no, no. Jared only got like 10 years or something like that.
He didn't get well. Yeah, he didn't get much. But he did lose all the money from Subway. Subway still in prison.
You said Subway still in prison? Jared from Subway? Jared Fogle. Yes, he's still in prison.
Oh, he is still in prison. How many more years? as early as 20 years. He's serving a 15-year, 8-month sentence.
15 years. So he's expected to be released in 2029. Three more years. He can finally get a footnote.
I just don't understand how it's not instant death. You know what I mean? Well, that's what they say. Child molesters and things get...
Maybe kiddie porn's a different level for prisoners. I don't know. It's bad enough for me. Death.
It's terrible. Somebody beat him up. Instant death. No beat-up.
How about we go after the people making the kitty porn? That too. Yeah, them too. Tim Tebow's trying to solve all of this, by the way.
He's on the case. Yes. Oh, is he? Is that his new thing?
Yeah. With the SEAL group. Oh, SEAL Team 9? No, I don't think they have a number.
They're just like the SEAL Team, we kill kitty porn people. I don't think they go after kitty porn people? Child trafficking. They do child trafficking.
It's a whole different thing. It's a whole different thing. It's kind of similar though. It's pretty cool.
Well, they're not making movies, they're just trading them. Oh, like Pokemon. No. What do you think they're doing with them?
Well, not videotaping. You don't know that? No, I don't know that. Yeah.
Wait a second, do you know that? No, I don't know that. Why would I know that? Alright, we're on camera.
What's going on here? Yeah. Don't start insinuations. Right.
I'm the third most famous person in the cigar industry. Are you? That's what you said. Yes.
Is that what he said on the podcast? Yes, Fuente, Bobby Newman, and then me. Oh, wow. Yeah.
There you go, Palmer. Did he say anything about both of us, Woody? Who are you? No, sorry, Buzz, you weren't mentioned.
Wow. Well, I have not watched the whole show, but no, you weren't mentioned. Wow. He did mention Greg briefly.
That was like a week ago. I don't remember anything I said. I wonder what year I started getting mentioned. Probably never.
Oh. That's very rough right here. I got to keep dangling the carrot. Maybe one day.
One day. Hey, don't say ever. He'll just leave. It's going to happen.
It's, you know, it's going to happen. Push your own tampons. Go on. It's been 15 years.
No one's saying it. You don't even say my real name. You won't even acknowledge me as a person. Oh, God.
Oh, God. Okay. All right. Moving on.
Yeah, it's twisted. And I think he's a bad man. He's in jail. And no more squatty potties.
Yeah. You know what? And all of you people that own the squatty potty, How are your contributing factor to this? 3 million worth of Squatty Potties.
So he could buy kiddie porn. I hope your flow was worth it. What's crazy is that he's being thrown in jail and none of the Epstein stuff is still... Is it?
Is it crazy? I mean, I would think that anybody in the Epstein thing would have been confronted and arrested or detained. There's been headlines about the Clintons, but nothing exciting. Yeah, I saw Hillary said that she knows nothing about Epstein.
Right, yeah, that was the Hillary thing. Jeffrey, never heard of her. Jeffrey Epstein, I don't like Jews, I don't know him. Oh my God.
Wow. That's what she said allegedly, I just heard. Check that box. That's what I heard.
No, no, there's nothing about racial slurs. Level two. It's just comedy. It's just comedy.
Just comedy. It might not be good comedy, but it's still comedy. It's funny, it's good. People laugh.
Oh God. Some people laugh. Some people laugh. Some people come to our show for that type of humor, Michael.
Okay. Maybe. You don't want to make Hillary threats. This could be your last episode.
Come get me. Oh, yeah. I'm alone in the house. Why am I looking at the light?
I'm alone in the house all weekend. Come get me. That's what Maduro said, buddy. Right.
And we came and got him. True. Yeah, so, you know. Beware what you wish for.
You're old cowards. You won't come. Beware what you wish for. What are you going to do this whole weekend, Palmer?
By yourself. Nothing. I'm doing nothing at all. He's going to stab himself seven times in the back and we're all suicide.
Right, maybe it's suicide. I'm going to accidentally hang myself after I slit my own throat. Yeah. Don't say that.
There's a big tree in the backyard. Oh, my God. All right, customers complained, so the king answered. They're redoing the Whopper.
What? Are you serious? Yes. Why?
Customers complained. They don't like the Whopper. They want a new Whopper. Why?
What's wrong with the Whopper? They don't like the bun. What? Burger King, home of the Whoppers, making the first change to its best-selling menu item in nearly 10 years after consumers complained.
The Whopper replaced its bun with more premium one. They use a new creamier mayonnaise. It's in a new box instead of paper. They're making a new Whopper.
It's in a box? And now it's going to be coming in a box like a Big Mac, I guess. I don't like any of this. I like it the way it was.
You like it the way it was? Yeah. Well, we were supposed to have some here to sample on the show. And what happened?
Somebody fell through, but we, they were on their way. Well, I had some stuff going on, I mean... His wife hurt her ankle or something, went to the hospital. Oh my God.
She's only pregnant. Yeah. Right, I know, exactly. She's only with child.
Right, and she was with Dana, so couldn't Dana take care of it? I mean... So he was on Whopper Detail? He was on Whopper Detail.
Yeah. And he blew it. He blew it. I would have crushed a Whopper right now.
Oh, you're going to. It's coming. He door dashed it? He door dashed it from the bathroom.
I told Palmer to stall, but he sucks at stalling. Well, I mean, I dragged out the guy with the kiddie porn as long as I could. I got accused of having to know what stuff was. Did she really hurt her ankle?
No, no, no. It's pretty swollen. Oh, God. Yeah.
A bagel king. She slipped down a bagel. Because she had just left here. Oh, did she?
Yeah, she said she went to go step out the car. And when she stepped down on her step, it kind of moved. And she slipped. And she fell down to the ground.
Ah, she fell to the ground, oh no. Yeah, it's a little swollen. They call an ambulance? That's not good.
No, no, she, um, well, I told her I was gonna call one, but she was like, no, that's embarrassing. She's like, I just have Dana drive me, you have to do your podcast. I said, well, I said, just let me get this out of the way, and then I'll come to the hospital, you know? Listen, I'm gonna say, I said it on yesterday's episode, I'm gonna say it again.
You know, she knows who she married, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? Like, this is not, you know, and I hope her ankle's okay because this Friday you're going to be down at the pub DJing. Yeah, exactly.
Oh, that's right. She can't walk tonight. She's hopping around the house. Are you good?
You got this? Because I got to go. I got to go. The pub needs me.
What's up, DJ Boots? Look, if people don't think we're dedicated at this point, like, she's literally going to the hospital right now. Yeah. We're dedicated.
This is your moment to be dedicated. Yeah. Yeah. Which is honorable.
Thank you. Worst thing that happened to me, what, dog died and I showed up? Yep. Put the dog down?
I think that was the toughest one. Like, alright, let's go record. What about you? Dad died.
And you still, we recorded that day? Yeah, we talked about my dad on the show. Yeah. Let me talk about my dad for the whole show.
Listen. That was a hard show. I don't mean to nitpick here, but think you won on that. Just for the record, we increased along the way, slipped ankle, dead dog, dead dad.
And the winner is, and Boots still fill the- The only other thing we can do is one of the three of us die, and we still do the show. Oh my god. During the show. I'll do it.
I'll have a heart attack. I'll do it, I'll be fine. Anyway, the burger's gonna roll out in 7000 restaurants nationwide this week. So we have the original Whopper, and then when the new one comes, we will get the new one.
Okay. Unless they show up in a box, unless we got lucky and then the local place got a new one. I doubt it. I doubt they said, you know what?
Deltona. You know where we need the new ones? Deltona, we're gonna do it. I don't know, there was one time that like Deltona was the testing ground.
Whopper capital of the industry? No, it was like the testing ground. Was that them calling saying they're here? Supposedly McDonald's making like a new sandwich called the Arch or something.
Oh yeah, I heard about that. When it comes out we'll have one. Yeah. Yeah, you know, what we should do is we should just pivot and just copy everything Coop does and just make a food show.
Oh, make a food show. Yes, we're gonna cover food. He's almost there. This is exciting.
All right, well, the Enhance Whopper will cost more. Of course. It'll charge the franchise $4,000 more a year, but they think they will sell more of them. Really?
It'll cost them, though, the franchise. The franchisees an extra $4,000 a year. Each. Each location, they're going to charge them $4,000.
Probably because of the box instead of the wrapper. Yeah, the box instead of the paper. I don't know about all that. Reinforced bun.
It sounds like it's a money grab for the corporate power, you know? Well, you know it's the good mayo on this one. It's extra creamy. We make it for you.
It's special. We take the bun and we make it very good. It's very good. It's a brioche.
It's a brioche bun. It's a croissant. With 17 little things on it. Little things?
Sesame seeds? Sesame seeds, thank you, I can't think of the name of the seeds. Is it 17 sesame seeds on it? It's 17.
Is that what the song says? No, it doesn't. The song? I know you know the song, Palmer.
It's a Big Mac, bro. It's a Big Mac, the song. Two all beef patties, special sauce, cheese, pickled onions on a sesame seed bun. I knew he knew the song.
I could do the first two sentences. I could do the whole thing. They're advising their local owners not to raise the prices. Oh good, so now we're squeezing them.
Right. Inflation-weary consumers suggest that the investment will drive up sales. So more. Hey, we don't want to get crazy here.
I want you to sell the more expensive item for the same price. Right. And then give me $4,000 to the king. Man, you know, you should see what happens in the cigar industry.
Oh, same thing. It's terrible. Yeah, prices go up every six months. Right?
For some companies, every three months. I'm curious to see DR prices increase if they're doing that 15% blanketing, yada yada. Oh, yeah, because now they're going to start, yeah. That should start pelt in here pretty soon.
Well, the 10. It's going to be 10. I thought it was 15. No, now he's saying he's backing it back down to 10.
Oh, he's walking it to 10? He's walking it back to 10. I may only get my news from you, so. Right, sorry.
You got to update me on these things. Does that mean, so you're talking about like Fuente basically, LFD, Fuente, what's his name, Fratello just went to the DR, we have that story here, Ventura, Henderson, Ventura, he's still trying to get his money back from the voyage, so, yeah, still, all these years later, years later, still not getting in, still hasn't come in yet, gotta write that off, what he should have done is he should have 1099'd him, oh, there you go. So... I just give it to him as a gift.
Give it to him as a gift. There you go. Or whatever it was. Support that on your taxes there, buddy.
Right. Oh. Alright, moving on, because it's still not here yet. Okay.
We'll stop and eat in a minute. Poop pills are a game changer for treating cancer. Oh. They're taking fecal matter, putting it in capsules, and it helps with the side effects of the radiation therapy.
Okay. How? A pair of new Canadian clinical trials show poop pills can reduce the toxic side effects of cancer medication and even support patient response to immunotherapy. So yeah, I don't know whose poop they're putting in the pills.
Eat the poop. Eat the poop! It's these little brown capsules. Yeah.
Oh God. Also known as crapsules. This is like a pharmaceutical grade centipede. Right.
Fecal microbiota transplant FMT pills contain freeze-dried fecal matter. And according to new research published in Nature Medicine, of course, it's an all-natural thing, pooping poo may dramatically improve cancer treatment. Oh. But there's a side effect if you take too much.
You're full of shit. You can get colitis. Yeah, this is retarded. What are we doing?
Analyzed data from 20 patients, a team found the customized FMT may help relieve some of the severe side effects associated with immunotherapy. Standard treatment for advanced kidney cancer often includes an immunotherapy drug that helps the patient's immune system tackle cancer cells. Too much reading from the teleprompter. I'm sorry, this is medical stuff, I gotta get this right.
You don't have to explain all that. " I did say you eat too much poop. Yeah, that's perfect, then I would have said... Colitis, diarrhea, sometimes so severe that patients must stop life-sustaining treatment.
Stop reading. I didn't. I looked at you and I finished the sentence. It's bad poop.
It's bad poop. How do you feel about eating shit, Phil? I don't know how this story made our show. Do you eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
Because I needed a third story and it was a slow news cycle. So the only piece of news in there was about eating poop? You eat pieces of shit for breakfast? Greg thought it was fascinating.
I ran the stories by Greg this morning. That's not a surprise. Of course Greg thought it was fascinating. You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast. You eat pieces of shit for breakfast? If you had cancer, you wouldn't take a poop pill? I take a lead pill.
Wow. He had cancer? He's talking about suicide, bro. You're not listening to what he's saying.
Oh, sorry. Oh, that pill. There's a lot of that going on. Let's not talk about that.
There is a lot of that going on. Man, somebody hit me with a bunch of them. I did yesterday. That was right.
I did yesterday's show. Yeah, oh my God. That was so bad. That's terrible.
And now we're eating shit. This is what we've come to. This is where we're at. Right.
This is where I am, and I've been so hopeful this whole time, and now, sorry to burst your bubble there, buddy. Ugh. I feel like I could use a Whopper about now. I don't know if I'm down with the Whopper right now.
I don't know what this guy's doing, bro. So, do you have a video for us today? Please have a video for us today. I do not have a video.
Oh, man. I do not have a video today. I almost had a video today. There was a guy in Canada that was a He was attacked by two turkeys, but it was bad footage.
Oh, how do we not have that? And then some lady pulls up, some lady pulls up to him as he's being chased by the turkeys and yells, "Get in my car! " So he got in this strange lady's car. Magic tickets right now, they're "buy one, get one free".
Oh, they're that bad? Yeah. Wow, bro. Wow.
They are that bad. We're so hopeful. We're sixth place right now. Sixth place, you do "buy one, get one"?
All right, on to cigar news. He's almost here. Rojas Street Tacos Cinco de Mayo, 2026, shipping in April. Cinco de Mayo.
Are we getting those? Probably not. Really? Those are good.
We never get anything. What are you talking about? We get stuff all the time. In the last new stuff, we haven't gotten any of them.
What else haven't we gotten? Whatever we talked about yesterday. What was that? What was that?
I don't remember. I moved on. I got to memorize this stuff. You think I got to keep it?
Stuff you would never bring into this humidor. That's what was yesterday. For the third year in a row, Rojas cigars were released a limited edition cigar to celebrate Cinco de Mayo. Okay.
Do you want it? I'll go get it for you. No, I don't want to. I don't want to buy it.
It's three tacos. It's a Mexican holiday that falls on May 5th. There's a lot of time. A lot of time.
Why are you breaking my balls? It's a 6x54 Toro Vitola, made with Ecuador and Habano wrapper, Mexican San Andreas binder, that makes sense, it's a Mexican cigar. Yeah. And fills from Nicaragua grown in the Jalapa region, and Connecticut Broadleaf grown in the United States.
Well, you jam up on Jamastron, so, it's not Jalapa that you screw up. Oh, I always get Jalapa, right? Yeah. So they told Halfwheel that the amount of Jalapa tobacco in the filler has been changed slightly compared to 2025.
We're making a little difference. Really? They're post, oh, they produce it at their own factory. Sounds like it's going to be the same.
Yeah. I don't think it's going to be the same. MSRP will be what, gentlemen? Phil?
What are these like? I think these are like, what, nine dollar cigars? I don't know. They're like nine bucks.
Nine? Yeah. 12. 50.
Wow. It's like I'm in the industry and I know what I'm doing. It's crazy. They're making 2,000 boxes or 40,000s a go.
Follow me for more knowledge and intel. You have ashes all over you. Thank you. Well, no, there's still, there's a lot.
You finally did it. After all these episodes, you gave me a proper heads up. Alright, Fratello who went to the Dominican Republic to get around the tariffs finds himself shipping cigars with tariffs shipping the 1821 Dominican Republic, the first cigar in its new Puro collection that will feature cigars made with tobacco from a single country. That way, no problem with the tariff at all.
It's all Dominican. Oh boy. Now they got a tariff. Oh, so it's like the original Opus X.
You know, that's what the Opus X was. A terra-free cigar? At one point, it was all Dominican tobacco. Oh.
However, I don't think it's that anymore. I could be wrong, but they don't really tell you anything about the blends at this point. Oh. It's like Opus X.
We're actually doing an Opus on the What's the Score today, so we'll be able to tell if they say what it is. Let me say what it is. Oh, okay. Yeah, it depends on what year it is, yeah.
All right, he's making all the cigars at the La Aurora Cigar Factory in Santiago, Dominican Republic. Okay. 558 Vitola. What is the price?
558. 12 cigars in a box. $14. Ooh, Fertelo, 18 bucks.
1821, good job! There's a car outside driving slowly. Yeah, I'm gonna get it, I'm gonna get it. It's like you know what you're doing and you're a part of this industry.
There are plans for a series of... You can keep the mask off. Why would you take the mask off? There's plans for a series of these cigars before he found out they're gonna be tariffs.
Is that what it says? It doesn't say anything about the tariffs, but it says it was slated for a series of cigars. He's like, son of a... Next one will be the Fratello 1821, oh, Nicaraguan, so now he's going to a different...
He's going to a different angle. Oh, that's smart. He likes making cigars for places. Like he did those state cigars.
Right. Now he's doing country cigars. Well, he's just working different angles. Right.
The project gets their names from the year 1821, which is when the Dominican Republic and Nicaragua gained independence from Spain. There you go. Look, man, you got to try something. Yeah, you got to have an angle.
You got to do something. Story sells. I don't know if it says you got to sell the sizzle, not the steak. Yeah, I don't know if 1821 is something like, yes.
Yeah, like everybody knows, ooh, 1821, what a good year that was. You know, but maybe, maybe it does well. Here comes Phil. Here comes Phil with our, thanks.
I'm not hungry. I'm hungry. Did Phil have to pay for these Whoppers? Yes.
Yeah, we don't make money on the show. We'll have to reimburse him. He just made a lot of money. He did make a lot of money.
He did get a check. You do make money on this show. The Fratello's new releases will be at, it says the 2025 PCA convention in Adria. Maybe that was last year.
That's probably a glitch. Oh, there are a lot of typos lately in the half wheel world. They're getting lazy. Hmm.
So what am I supposed to do with this? Do you want me to eat a Whopper right now on this podcast? We're going to eat a Whopper, and then when, are they in paper? So they're in paper.
It's the standard one. Alright, well this is the original then. Next week, when they get the new one, we will eat. This is a Whopper now?
We got Whopper Juniors or something. You got to throw them. Oh. You're going to have to.
This is the saddest. This reminds me of falling down. Why is it a junior? Because we're broke, Michael.
It doesn't even have cheese. No, you don't get cheese on them. You don't get cheese on a Whopper. You don't get cheese on a Whopper?
No. There's no cheese on a Whopper. You got to order cheese. This is ridiculous.
What is on this? It's just a burger. Pull all this crap off. Yeah, pull this onion shit off.
I can't believe this is happening right now. You see the little amount of lettuce? There's lettuce? Yeah, there's a little bit of yellowish green stuff on it.
Whopper has cheese. No, no, no, you have to add cheese. You didn't even get real Whoppers. You got Whopper Juniors.
They're smaller, it's a short show. They're not redoing the Whoppers, Whopper Juniors. Yeah, they will. It'll be a junior version of the Whopper.
Yeah. It's going to be the same. No, it's not. Yes, it will be.
Yeah, Whoppers never had cheese on it. Just the Big Mac. Big Mac has cheese? You know what?
I believe you. You're the fast food connoisseur. I couldn't tell you the last time I had Burger King. Today.
I eat it sometimes because it's smaller lines. But I can't believe that we're having it on the show. This is ridiculous. We thought you'd enjoy it.
Yeah. All right, VI Skull and Bones Red Returns for 2026. We're getting these, right? It's not bad.
Mayonnaise isn't creamy enough for me. Yeah, we're getting those. Good. We really need creamier mayonnaise.
You have some cream on your lips. Somewhere around... Maybe a different bun would be good. That would be good.
Somewhere around $4,000 worth annual. Per franchisee. We must all be really hungry because we're just fucking pounding out these opportunities. I'm hungry.
I'm not really that hungry, I'm just a savage. For the first time in three years, a trio of Fiaje, Skull & Bones will soon ship to stores. Didn't we get to you last year? We got something with skulls, but it wasn't skull and bones.
Oh. You had like the Wolverine stuff. Yeah. So we're getting the Red Big Ivan, the Red Fat Man, and the Red Little Boy.
Oh, that's not appropriate for right now. And the new, the Fat Man and Little Boy cigars. Oh, those just came out in 2011. That's two things for Palmer's.
It's two strikes. Yeah. Why is that two strikes? They're not redoing the Whopper Junior, which is just stupid, but thanks for the food.
How do you know they're not redoing? Yeah, of course they're redoing the Whopper Junior. Because they would have announced it. It's the Junior of the Whopper.
Whatever the big one is, it's just a smaller one. They're not going to redo it. Yeah, they are. No, they're going to keep that one the same.
Well, we'll see. Don't you guys know anything about marketing? There's no way. There's no way.
Yeah, but then they got to carry two kinds of mayonnaise. Right. Are they going... Perfect.
This is exactly what I wanted him to do, because I was about to do it. And you can't type? All right, now my fingers are greasy. Oh, I found the lettuce.
My second to last bite has... You found it? Yeah, it was just a little bit. Must be a new guy in there.
He's a little lazy. Well, he knows these are short-lived, so he doesn't care. Yeah. We're doing it anyway, so hopefully you hate this.
There has been no official announcement to suggest the Whopper Jr. will receive the same changes. It's assumed. Yeah, allegedly.
We'll find out in two weeks. They're not gonna. We'll find out in two weeks. That would be $5,000 annual.
No, it's not. Then they carry two kinds of mayonnaise. Two kinds of buns. Right.
The buns are smaller. They're not the same buns. It's the same buns. No, they're not.
Yeah, it is just, they cut them down. You want to hear a funny story? I feel like the story's not going to be funny. Can you laugh anyways, though?
Okay. Can I pretend that it's funny? Go ahead. He's not, Palmer's not going to laugh.
I'll laugh. So Palmer was working the shop this morning. Mm-hmm. And every online order that goes through, I approve.
Mm-hmm. So there was an order for Posagna Broadleaf Bellicosos. Mm-hmm. Five pack.
This isn't funny. And he takes a picture of these five cigars, and he turns one over, So then I can verify that it's the Bellicosa, so it says it on the UPC, and I look at them, and they're all Corona Gorda, and it even says on the UPC, the Corona Gorda. Oh my God. And then I say to him, like, dude, these aren't even the right, these aren't even close to the right size.
Yeah, I mean, I can understand if you didn't flip one over, but you know. Yeah. You flipped it over. It says it on the left.
It says it there. It says it there. So then he said, well, they were in the wrong box. And I'm like, the Bellicoso's are pointy.
It's a smaller box. And they're bigger. Yeah. Yeah.
Somebody put Coronas in the Bellicoso box. Brandon, who used to work here, had walked in. And I just scooped him out and laid him out while I was talking to Brandon that I haven't seen in I don't know how long. And I didn't notice.
Oh, you missed him. See, I was getting triggered there. I'm not getting triggered. I'm just explaining what happened.
Look at the anger. I'm not angry. You missed Brandon. You missed Brandon?
I missed that other show. That other show was fun to do. Brandon was on that show? Yeah, he was our engineer.
Oh. What show? The Chet and Palmer show. Oh.
This show's fun too, but that was a different type of show. He doesn't like this show. He's trying to quit. I've been doing it for a while.
Well, the other one he could talk about sex, drugs, and rock and roll. That is true. Yeah. Palmer's ready to retire.
He wants Wednesdays off. You know? Right. Maybe that's why Brandon came in.
He's trying to infiltrate Brandon into us. He did offer. " Did he really? Yeah, I don't have time.
He doesn't have time. He's traveling all over the place. " Maybe just Wednesdays? I don't have time for podcasts on Wednesdays.
I have to do my other podcast. I'm glad there's a lot of information about that cigar. All right, again, Frey, you ready now? Are we all done eating now that we just ate on the air?
It was great. It was great. We should have snack time. Tell you what, I will still do Wednesdays if we can have snack time once a week.
I asked about food the other day. That's right. I thought maybe this was Palmer's way of granting my wish. Are you with us or are you texting people?
The lighters on the site are coming up priced zero dollars. I don't know what to tell you. Right now, Mikey's just giving them away. On the YouTube site, it's still seven thousand dollars for a hat.
We sold... We sold... All of them, I would imagine, for zero dollars. Yeah.
" Like, whatever. That's fine. I mean, it's Mark Palmer. You know.
Hey, that's a riveting podcast. " Buy 'em all, guys. Get 'em where you can. Those are good customers.
I mean, this is Miguel Rocha. " Yeah, shouldn't I get free shipping? It's over a hundred dollars, right? No, they're zero dollars.
That's right, so you gotta pay ten bucks. He bought five, is that buy one, get one half off? Right. He would have to, yeah, so he would get basically one for free.
No, he'd buy one and get one 40% off. Right, but he bought five of them. It would be one big one, but it was one big one, four small ones. I like that all of that jades you.
It doesn't jade me. Yes, it does. No, it doesn't. There's something else you said on yesterday's show, I was like, man, he's just got to lighten up.
So angry. Ready for the industry's favorite game? I am, at 38 minutes, yes. What's the score?
Let me drag this out for a good 15 minutes. I think we're good. We had this delicious Whopper Jr. that won't be changing.
Can't wait to see the updated Whopper Jr. that'll be exactly the same because it's not changing. Well, we're going to find out. There's nothing to find out.
Sure we will. In a week, we'll get another one. Yeah. Dude, you guys, I can't believe they removed Gullible from the dictionary.
I mean, it's gone. It's going to be the same thing. All right, we'll find out. They removed Gullible from the dictionary?
Exactly. Exactly. All right, this cigar is from March 26, 2013, reviewed by Brooks Whittington. It's the Arturo Fuente Cigar, Dominican Republic, Maine, reviews the Opus X football.
Oh. Champion first. What year was it? 2013.
The Opus X football. But it's Brooks. Hmm. I don't think he's a Fuente guy.
Hmm. No, he's Tatawai. 84. 81.
Cigar Review, the Fuente Opus X football, country of origin, Dominican Republic. Factory, Tabla Calera, Fuente, Wrapper, Dominican, Chateau de la Fuente, Rosado, and Maduro with an asterisk. I don't know what that means. Binder, Dominican Republic, Filler, Dominican Republic with an asterisk, size 5x128.
Why does it have an asterisk? I don't know. Ring gauge, I said 128, the Vitola, it's a football, estimated price. It's $500.
$500? Yes. Released in 2013, he smoked one. Does that mean they bought one of these for $500?
Yeah. $50? Yeah, they make money, Palmer. You guys make money.
No, no, I mean like they make a lot of money. But you guys make money. Yeah, no. I'm not complaining about the money.
Yeah, I'm just saying they make a lot of money. They bought one for $500. $500. I wouldn't have reviewed a $500 cigar if I had to pay for it.
I wouldn't buy a $500 cigar if I had the money to pay for it. I think you would. No way. Yeah.
No, I didn't even buy the Millennium that one time. I traded services. So you still bought it? Kind of.
I mean, not with cash. Services? I mean, Greg? Pretty much.
No. No, that's not what I meant. You should have made that one of your movies, that way you would have already had it, something in the can, as they say. Something in the can.
Right. Footage in the can. Industry lingo. Sorry, I thought you were aware.
Filled with Greg. Right. Filled by Greg. Filled by Greg.
Filled by Greg. Wow. Wow. Wow.
82. That was his review of it. Wow. 81.
Alright, clue number one, the extremely smooth wrapper and substantially weight. Give the Opus X football a bold, high-end presence that immediately stands out. 82. 81, not changing.
Pepper on the retrohale and smoke production increases nicely in the second third, adding depth and making the experience more engaging. as it progresses. Why are these comments so... 86.
It's not a long review. Yeah. From 2013. Yeah, it's back when they were Stogie Press or whatever it was.
I'm going 81. I don't think this... I don't think he likes it. They were half-wheeled this time.
2013? You're right. They just put the logo on the pictures. The third clue.
The profile stage largely consists in throughout And by the final third, the sweetness fades, while bitterness increases, slightly dulling the overall experience. Man, this is going to be a tough one. 87. Well, the problem is, is that the comments are short and very nondescriptive.
Yeah, back in the old days. I knew the good final thought of this cigar was ass. Yeah, I'm going to stick at 81. We still got a final thought though, right?
Final thought. Okay. Like I mentioned in my Bahiki review. Bahiki.
Yeah, that's what I said. Smoking and scoring a cigar that is this rare is almost criminal. But one of the main points behind the site's reviews is to do exactly that. Having said that, at a certain point, a cigar becomes so big and odd that the focus becomes on making sure the cigar burns And less so on flavor.
Factor in the fact that this was never meant to be a commercial success, and the amount of time that goes into perfecting the flavor is probably close to minimal. The football did have flavor in it that reminds me a very slightly of an Opus X, but the persistent bitterness in the profile, while not overwhelming at any point, except at the end, was persistently annoying enough to notice. It ended up being not even close to as strong as I expected, and if it was not as strong as I expected, it was not as strong as I expected. The flavors it did possess, while not horrible in any way, were pretty one-dimensional in the end.
I'm extremely grateful to have been able to smoke one, but as far as smoking goes, the Opus X football was basically just one huge, boring pile of burning tobacco. Oh, he was going to say burning pile of crap. One far more entertaining to look at than to smoke. One heaping pile of cow dung.
Heaping pile of... I can't, you know, it's almost criminal to smoke this $500 cigar. However, one must do the Lord's work and smoke this. Here's a nice piece of...
Yep, can't say the words anymore. I have to put up... And you can still say it. Eighty-four.
I win. Eighty-three. Seventy, he wins. I was never going to get 70, but I knew it was definitely low.
Ouch. I'm a fan of the low-scoring cigars, gentlemen, you should notice that. They're tough. So, they made a football cigar and then LFD made one?
LFD's is considerably smaller, this looks like it's about like that big. Oh, so it's like the shape of a football. It's a shape of a football. Oh, wow.
Listen, nothing is new under the sun. Hmm. All right. Nobody created it first and then something, like, stop.
Stop. Just stop it right now. Well, Saka. Nobody made the Pustania Justice.
Saka invented cigars, ask him. Other than Saka. And the Pustania Justice. Are you going to be anywhere?
Nope. Do you want me to put up a voting thing where we say, hey, do you want us to continue five days a week, or do you want us to do three? No. Keep going, why give up now?
Well, that's my feelings. Wow, I'm surprised that you even put that on the table for him. It was nice to have the day off in the middle, I don't know what to tell you. It doesn't mean I'm not in for the five.
Okay. It was just a nice break. Palmer was just, you know, he was having a bad day. It was a long drivey day.
It was six hours in the car. It was nice to get home and not have to do anything. Okay. Well, we were working on some new things here to make it even more efficient.
I understand that. Yeah, like food during the podcast. Yeah, that was great. We should just eat on every show.
It was terrible, and it didn't do anything. Maybe the commercial will be at that point. Right. We ate something that's not going to change.
Well, we'll see. Okay, we'll see. Waiting with a bated breath. You know what I'll bring you next time?
A box of fudge rounds. Maybe that will change. A box of what? A box of what?
Fudge rounds. What's that? Little Debbie's fudge rounds. What?
Yeah, I understand what you're saying. Fudge rounds? Fudge rounds. What's that?
Bring in the oatmeal pies. See, Palmer's on the right track. Oatmeal pies are all right. Little Debbie oatmeal pies.
Oh, are you talking about the... The chocolate one. Chocolate oatmeal pies? No, no, the fudge rounds are, they're, like, blackish.
With the cream inside? Yeah. Like the Swiss, Swiss cake rolls? Well, that's a Swiss cake roll, a fudge round is, like, a cookie-looking thing, but soft cookie.
Great, now we are a Coop show. Is that how he explains things? No, but now we're just talking about food. Do you want to know what you are, Phil?
I'm a great guy, and thank you guys for watching the show, bye! You're a borderline diabetic in China. No, no, the Chinese have figured out how to reverse type 1 and type 2 diabetes. Oh, I have a story for Monday about the Chinese.
You want to do it today since we have extra time? Sure, go ahead. They have come out with a machine that you hook your phone to and you can kiss your significant other through your phone. What?
It is this little thing with these rubber lips on it and you hook your phone to it, so you're looking at your person and then you kiss the rubber lips As they kiss the rubber lips on their side, and you feel them moving as you move. That's ridiculous. It's creepy. That was going to be on Monday's show.
That's creepy, not ridiculous. That is, and people will buy this? Yeah, so it's running through China. They developed it in China, it's selling over there.
There's a picture of a Chinese guy doing it. First of all, have you ever seen all the stuff in China that's been created? It doesn't make it here. I like it so much.
Yeah, but it works with the iPhone, the iPhone's hooked to it. Well, the Chinese people probably forced to buy it. You buy! My friend need!
You buy! You buy this now! Look, you kissy kissy your face! Yeah, yeah.
No, that's how it was marketed. It was really a weirdo that made that. " Oh, it's just a matter of time for somebody, you know, goes down below with it. Right.
You put it down there. You put it down there. I open mouth and then you put it in. You kiss my no-no spot.
We're gonna fast forward 10 years and the Chinese creator of the kissy kissy is found on some dark web fucking pedo fort. Remember the Squatty Potty guy? Well, now it's the kissy kissy. Now it's the kissy kissy guy.
Chinese kissy kissy. 3 million dollars. It's Dara. I said Dara.
No, it's Dara. Oh, is that the line? 3? Have you been there?
No, I've watched South Park. That's not real. That's South Park. Absolutely real.
South Park is super real. Extremely authentic. Oh, sorry. It's a cartoon.
The Simpsons. It's also a cartoon that tells the future. Yeah, so does South Park. There you go.
Yeah, dude. In South Park, we trust. What? In South Park, we trust?
Is that what you said? Yeah. Yeah, they have like cow launchers and stuff. It's gonna be the new coins.
Now I gotta find a new thing for Monday's show. Okay. All right. Well, hey.
Like and subscribe. You gonna be on anybody else's secret podcast? I don't think so. Because I didn't announce that.
You didn't? No, you didn't tell anybody. Well, if you are, make sure you mention. You just happened to take the camera home the other night.
I'm like, what are you doing? Dude, it's not intentional, it's just that there's 75,000 things going on at the same time, and I'm not, I don't know what to tell you. I think I'm on somebody's podcast in March, but I don't remember what day or who it is, but it's on my calendar. Okay, so we're not there yet, so you can, you could figure that out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, still plenty of time. You know, here's how that happened. Like, I booked it, and then I was like, man, I feel like this is coming up. I looked at it, and it goes, oh, it's tomorrow.
I'm like, okay. So, and then we had the Espinosa thing. Right. And then you had all the other things that are going on in everyday life as far as coaching and other stuff, right?
So, plus games, plus all the stuff, and, you know, and the whole business, the business thing. And the league. This week was a tough one. Yeah, and then the league you started.
Yeah, this week was, this week was, this week was a lot. I'm on somebody's podcast in March. Oh, yeah? Yeah.
Sugar Hustle's podcast? That's right. Yeah, I knew it. Yeah.
Oh, yeah, he's booked a guest in March. Oh, yeah, that's right. Oh, yeah, we forgot to tell you, dude. Can't do that day.
We no longer need you. Wow. Brandon's going to fill in now. Yeah, we got Brandon.
Brandon's back. Brandon's back. Brandon's back. F Brandon.
All right. Well, thank you. If you like listening to us or watching us. Watch us eat.
Subscribe. Who wants to eat more food? Yeah. And please tell my Whopper Junior people that Whopper Junior is staying the same.
It's changing. I can't wait for everybody to hear this show because we were definitely chomping in the microphones. All right, guys, you got to go. Bye.
Show Notes
On today’s show If I only had 12.3 million dollars It’s good to be the king! Poop is the new penicillin Then in Cigars we get new tacos! Fratello invades the DR and we’ve got Pirate cigars