ACHP 384 Papal Smoke Signals, Space Packages and Giant Cigars
Transcript
Welcome to episode 384 of the
Cigar Hustler podcast.
This week on the Patreon, we are
doing, what are we doing?
We're doing the Silver Mesa Red,
the Duque, I don't know what
it's called.
It's not the Duque.
This is the Duque 1.
No, it's not.
Why not?
The Duque is like the limited
edition.
It's not out yet and and.
But it's red.
Not.
This red.
No, this is a Sobra Mesa soblita
red thingy.
I don't know.
Good start.
He came out with so many
different ones.
I.
So many new things at the show.
This came out before the show,
but I don't, I don't know.
We'll figure that out before we
get on the Patreon.
So there's that.
What else are we doing?
May 2nd we have an event at the
shop.
We're doing a Drew State event.
If you come in on May 2nd, you
get a free cigar with a ticket.
So you got to come in before
hand to get the ticket?
Make sure you get your ticket.
Tomorrow night I'll be on Cigar
Loons on the podcast.
Nice.
And I'm going to be on
developing pallets tonight,
which will be tomorrow or
something by.
The time this show comes out, it
will have happened.
What happened was what happened,
but they can go back and watch.
It and I did an excellent job.
Coop came for me and I.
Saka to monopolize the
conversations.
Saka talked a lot.
Coop minutes ago.
Coop tried to attack me and I
didn't ignore the sandwich.
Will you let me talk?
I can talk too.
If you talk over me, he doesn't
know what to do.
We have Ryan this week.
We have a professional cameraman
this week.
What's up, everybody?
He's a he's a nice addition.
I like, I like to mix him in.
I like.
To mix it up every once in a
while, Absolutely.
Yeah.
OK Who else is on the show?
Somebody else is on the show
too.
Developing pallets.
Yeah, Aaron.
Aaron.
Well, yeah, he is.
Part of the John Mctavish.
He's the other half of the
pallet.
Coop.
Coop.
Saka June.
I don't think June's on.
I think Abe's on too.
Oh, is Abe on too?
There's another person besides
you and Saka.
Oh, you might be right.
It might be Abe.
It'd be nice.
Do you have a picture of Captain
America?
You can.
We'll talk about Anthony Mackie,
right?
I'll put him on the background,
Anthony.
Mackie I took a picture with.
It look at this all right so
whenever you're ready Sir, let's
get into what's going on in the
world well.
We lost the Pope, We're down 1
Pope.
Pope Francis died today.
And we have what happens next
and how they choose a new Pope.
It's very complicated procedure.
All right.
DHL is back in the Chinese
Postal Service and suspending
some packages from China to
America.
We talked about that last week.
Yep.
Now we have to see a FedEx and
UPS jump on board.
SpaceX is becoming the Amazon of
the universe, running packages
back and forth to the space
station, unmanned spaceships.
There's any, you know, just full
of supplies and packages.
Just dropping the stuff off.
New shirts, record albums.
All right, that astronaut The
ice cream stuff you can get
online.
I love the ice cream.
Nice USA ports are wanting to
start charging Chinese ships to
ships at ports to dock their
boats.
And docking fee.
Docking.
Ah, docking fee.
Docking fee.
There's still not much cigar
news going on because
everybody's still talking about
the PCA.
But Cle goes big with the
megalophobia.
OK, I imagine that's a large
cigar.
Yep.
And Placencia creates a high
altitude Alma del Cilio and.
Then we have some social media
stuff too.
Yes, we have social media info
we need to come up with a name
for.
That and then Gavin's.
We got to talk about Gavin's
destroyed car at New Orleans.
Oh, right, we only talk about
the Patreon.
Yeah, because hi, Gavin.
Hi, Gavin.
Listen to the week Gavin from
Espinosa Cigars.
We love Gavin.
Yes.
Not as much as we love Tyler.
Oh, obviously, But he but Jack
has realigned the the way he
decides on who's the best
salesman.
Oh, really?
I guess 'cause there's some
areas that are bigger than
others and some even though
they're smaller, they get more
sales 'cause they have bigger
customers or something, I don't
know.
He was explaining to someone
else and I was overhearing.
You can.
Do percentage growth.
Maybe that's what he's doing
now, I don't know.
Yeah, like baseline.
Plus, you know, here's your
baseline.
Carry the one.
If you're 15% up.
Add Tyler.
Subtract Gavin.
Right and.
Then all of a sudden, Richie's
the winner.
Subtract half a car.
Right, subtract half a car.
All right, on to the Pope stuff.
All right, the Pope.
What happens when the Pope dies?
Funeral in conclave is
explained.
Pope Francis, the Roman Catholic
Church leader for the last 12
years, died at age 88 on Monday.
In the days following a Pope's
death or resignation.
You know they can resign.
I didn't know they could resign.
Step.
Down.
Step down.
I could see that.
Well, I could see wanting to,
but I I wonder if it's ever
happened.
I don't want to Pope anymore.
Yeah, the hat pinches my head.
I'm done popping.
I'm done popping.
Oh, the vet.
We're going to hell.
The Vatican is tasked with both
honoring the former pontiff in
the case of death and finding a
new religious leader.
Here's what happens when a papal
vacancy occurs.
When the funeral's.
So first, there's a funeral
right after Pope.
Yeah, after Pope's death, Pope's
death is confirmed.
He's really dead.
No, he's dead.
He's ready.
We've checked.
He's really.
Not breathing.
Oh, confirmed by the No idea
what that word is.
Oh, say it, Say it, please say
it.
Carmelingo sounds like a.
New Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The personal representative of
the Sacred College of Cardinals,
the funeral process begins.
Oh, so he's the head guy at the
thing?
He's a head, Carmelingo.
Right before the IT sounds like
a a gang type of a Spanish gang
or something.
The Carmelingo.
The Carmelingo must check and
see if he is dead.
Ain't part of the Carmelingos
the.
Funeral process begins before
the Pope is taken to the Sistine
Chapel where he lies in state
for public viewing.
The body is treated and dressed
in proper Crimson burial garb,
according to the Christian
Broadcasting Network, CBN.
Oh, they have ACBN.
Yes, Traditionally, the Pope's
internment, which takes place
between four and six days
following his death, occurs
after a traditional Roman
Catholic funeral Mass officiated
by the Dean of the College of
Cardinals, not Carmelingo.
Not the Carmelingos.
The Pope is then entombed in the
grotto before Saint Peter's
Basilica with three coffins, one
made of Cyprus, one of lead and
one of oak.
What?
There's three.
Coffins.
I heard Trump was shipping all
the Carmelingos to Venezuela.
Can't make light, man.
The man died, for God's sake.
What am I?
What am I supposed to do?
He's the head guy.
I'm supposed to be it.
Goes God, then him.
It's not like he was
assassinated or something, he
just died.
He's 88 years old.
You know he's the last one to
see him.
Who Vance?
Oh no, JD.
Yep.
You think JD?
He saw him on Sunday.
Oh, boy.
He was there for a meeting and
the Pope did not attend the
meeting.
But he didn't take a you know,
he had an audience with the
Pope.
Did he?
And him and the Pope don't get
along.
Really.
Yes, the according to the
article I read.
I have to read a lot of crap now
for this job.
This job that pays nothing
you're.
Right.
Exactly.
The Pope did not like the way we
were handling the illegal
aliens, the mass exodus that
were, you know, putting them all
on the planes and send them out.
He wasn't happy with that.
Got it.
So JD Vance is obviously, you
know, happy with it.
So JD went and spoke with him.
I get maybe got him upset or
something I don't know.
I don't want to cause any
things.
OK.
And oh and the JD has only been
a Catholic for from 2019 I think
they said.
Oh, he's a new Catholic.
He's a new Catholic, right?
Very nice.
Yeah, well I wonder why he was
switching his age to being a
Catholic.
Better for voting purpose.
Probably politicians, political
views or whatever.
All right, after they put them,
after you play the witch Pope is
in the coffin game, then a nine
day mourning period.
You know, they spin them all
around.
Pick which one he's in.
It's hard to move the the lead
one.
I like that you give me a hard
time about jokes and meanwhile
you're you're talking about.
Oh my gosh, we don't make light
of a serious situation.
It's just morning.
It's not.
Like you, it's not like he was
assassinated.
Right, assassinated.
I don't know why they have three
different coffins, that seems
weird.
You got to mix it up.
Is it like the German thing
where they put one inside the
other inside the other?
Oh yeah, it's like the German
thing, you know?
Yeah, I know what?
You're talking about Russian
dolls?
Oh, Russian dolls.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, Ryan talks Russian coffins.
Maybe the Russian coffin?
I'm still here.
I'm still here.
Then a nine day morning period
observed by the church begins.
Each day an honorary mass is an
honorary mess is celebrated for
the deceased Pope in Rome, led
by a different cardinal every
day.
Oh, everybody gets to do one.
Yeah.
Everybody takes a turn.
What are they doing?
In November, however, Pope
Francis approved new funeral
papal funeral rites meant to
simplify the ritual.
Oh, thank goodness it's.
We're dumbing this down.
We're dumbing this down, You
know, I don't have much time
left, and I don't like this love
process.
Can we get rid of two of the
three coffins, please?
And reflect the Pope's status as
humble pastor instead of a
powerful figure, Eliminating
traditions like the construction
of the three burial coffins.
Oh, there you go.
There you go.
I like him already.
Instead, popes will be buried in
a simple coffin made of wood and
lead.
OK, we still got 2.
Additionally, he allowed future
popes to be buried outside of
Saint Peter's at the request,
fulfilling his own desire to be
buried in Santa Maria Maggione
Basilica in Rome.
OK.
So who do you think should
replace the Pope?
Who should be the next Pope I?
Don't know any of their names.
Nobody.
You think nobody should repeat?
Pope Oh, he's you know, you
know, right Against the popes.
Papadon, Pope over here.
Papadon Pope over there.
You don't.
You don't have anybody.
Who do you think would be funny
to replace the Pope?
Let me ask you that.
Funny.
Yeah.
Oh, that.
Pick a comedian.
It's like a celebrity.
Pick a celebrity like, you know
what?
You'd be a good, good Pope.
Is Bob Hope still alive?
No, Bob Hope, the Pope.
Bob Hope, the Pope.
That would be nice.
What about you, Ryan?
I.
Have no idea.
I don't care about the papacy
so.
Not the papacy, Yeah.
What about the Carmel Lingual?
Jim Gaffigan, I don't know.
He's Catholic.
Jim put him in there.
Who's that?
The comedian?
He's the angry one, right?
Ain't he angry all the time?
No, he does like weird voices
and.
Oh, oh, we need a Pope that does
voices I.
Was going I was going.
Shane Gillis, I.
Don't know who that is.
Do you know who Shane Gillis is?
I might know if you explained.
That I know the name.
He's hilarious.
He would be an awesome Pope.
Well, the people actually vote
for the Pope.
Yeah.
Cardinals under the age of 80
are eligible to vote for a new
Pope, according to the United
States Conference of Catholic
Bishops.
The number of Cardinals
participate in the vote is
limited to 120, so 120 of the
Pope's that are under 80.
That's how that works.
Yes, and then traditionally
Cardinals assemble in the
Sistine Chapel at the Vatican
Palace 5th.
Oh, they have a palace 15 to 20.
I didn't realize it was called
the palace.
Of course, 15 to 20 days after
the the Pope's reign to vote on
the next pontiff and remain
secluded there until 1 is
elected, The Cardinals
participate in a secret vote
once on the first day of the
conclave and four times in each
subsequent day.
What if they're ever they're
talking, trying to just trying
to talk like a trial or
something?
All right, well, hey, Pope's
gone.
New Pope coming in.
You guys don't know who it is.
We already.
Vote on the Pope.
Each new Pope is elected for
life.
Yeah, unless they resign.
Unless they resign, according to
the archdiocese in Boston, Pope
John Paul the Second introduced
a change to the voting process
in which a candidate may win by
simple majority if no new
pontiff has chosen through the
first phase of the conclave,
which lasts about 12 to 13 days.
At that point, the next Pope may
be selected by simple majority
and the options may be limited
to the top 2 vote getters.
It's too bad I never met the
Pope.
Why?
Because then I could post about
it and take a photo and say that
he's paranoia.
He was a great man.
I did some Pope stuff with him.
I mean, now you can go take a
picture with his dead body
somewhere.
Yeah, I can dance.
I mean, one of the tombstones or
whatever.
All right, next story.
All right.
Well, you know, we can't Fast
forward.
You need to move faster.
All right, New DHL Rules suspend
some shipments to USADHL Express
has suspended certain
international shipments to the
United States as new US custom
regulations take effect.
The change, announced just days
before implementation applies to
packages valued over $800 in
marks a significant shift in how
cross-border e-commerce is
processed and regulated.
It's the stuff we talked about
last week, right?
We're changing that rule.
'Cause we laughed about it,
'cause China said no more
packages.
No more packages.
Well, because they changed the
rule, $800 and up now gets
tariffs, right?
So the pause, which went into
effect on April 24th, targets
all business to consumer
shipments where the declared
customs value exceeds $800.
Previously, only shipments
exceeding $2500 required formal
customs entry.
So all that Sheen and Timu
stuff.
So now we've lowered the bar all
the way to 800 bucks.
Right.
I still feel like you're getting
a lot of stuff out of DHL under
800.
Well, it's coming from Sheen and
Timo.
I mean, that's a lot of stuff
for $800.
Practically a building you can
get for 807 hundred and. 99
That's on wish, on wish dot.
Comwish.com you can.
Get a building for 800 dollars.
Change comes in response to
customs rule which came into
effect on April 5th, lowering
the threshold and required more
packages to go through complex
import procedures and customs
scrutiny.
DHL attributes a temporary
suspension to the increased
workload these rule changes
created.
We are experiencing multi day
transit delays to the US from
from any origin of shipments
with a declared customs value
exceeding $800, the company
said.
An official update effective
Monday, April 21st.
Until further notice, we will
temporarily suspend the
collection and shipment of
business to consumer B to C
shipments to private individuals
in the United States where the
declared custom value is exceeds
$800.00.
But if you do business to
business.
You're getting a tariff anyways,
no?
Nope.
Shipments, both B2B and B2C,
with a declared custom value
below $800 are not affected, the
company said in a statement.
But DHL is still bringing B2B
business to.
Business, so they're still
shipping.
Not OK.
Like if you order something from
somebody in China, they're
shipping it to your house.
No, if you order over $800.
If you order something they're
shipping to here, right, then
that still goes.
You just pay the money, you just
pay the tariff, you just pay the
SO.
How many?
How many transactions do you
think?
I'm going to ask Rock here.
How many transactions happen
under $800 from business to
consumer?
Or under $800.
It's got to be an uncountable
number. $800 probably would be
faster if I did, but it's OK.
He he doesn't have that app from
China, the Pope like that app,
so he doesn't.
Have it to US.
Let's see.
I'm grokking right now.
Let's see if we have an answer.
You're grokking.
Yeah, there isn't a precise
publicly available figure.
However, I can provide context.
In 2024, US Customs and Border
Protection process approximately
1.36 billion shipments, goods
valued at $800 or less for all
from all countries with about
60% originated from China.
So, you know, you're still going
to get a lot of packages.
There's still a ton that's going
to be coming in.
Sure, cuz it's under $800.
Yeah, my wife was getting $800
packages from Sheen.
That would be a problem.
We wouldn't have enough room in
our house.
Yeah, exactly.
That's what I'm saying.
I mean, she gets $100 packages
now.
We don't have room in our house.
There's a lot of stuff, small
house and a bungalow.
She uses the word bungalow now.
I saw that in a bungalow.
We have a bungalow.
Oh my goodness.
All right, SpaceX, that's where
you get your packages.
Now you're getting there.
No tariff.
SpaceX is the way.
No tariffs with them.
SpaceX launches a 32nd resupply
mission from NASA to the
International Space Station. 32
shipments they have sent.
Now that's a lot of frozen
pizza.
How fast can I get?
Can I get it overnight by 4:00
AM or something?
Or?
No, Yeah, yeah.
It's outer space.
Shouldn't take long.
It's there by 8:00.
If they if they Spacexed it from
China and it goes to US, oh I
have to space.
Oh, I.
Didn't think.
Is that a way to circumvent?
Yeah, from China to the space
station to back down, Yeah.
Musk could be circular.
On the phone.
Hey, I'm not really for the
whole tariff thing.
So what I'm thinking is if he's
not either, that's what I'm
saying.
If we just ship it right to the
space station and then down,
it's considered what right
property of space.
SpaceX loophole.
Loophole announced.
SpaceX launched an uncrewed
cargo Dragon Dragon to the
International Space Station
early Monday on a resupply
mission with increased
importance after a
transportation mishap derailed a
flight by another US cargo ship.
Who else is sending ships lift
off from Pad 39 A?
The Kennedy Space Center happens
Monday, April 21st at 4:15 AM.
The Cargo Dragon mission, dubbed
Commercial Resupply service #32,
carries 6700 lbs of science and
supplies of the station.
That's a lot of ice cream.
A lot of pizza.
About 9.5 minutes after launch,
Dragon separated from the upper
stage of the Falcon 9 rocket.
Docking with the ISS forward
port of the Harmony module is
expected around 8:20 AM.
Four hours.
That's it. 4 hours.
That's all it took. 4 hours and
20 minutes.
Man, I can't get to Vegas.
That seems a long time.
What are you talking about?
It's a rocket, It's going up.
It goes straight up then.
Yeah, right.
You think that that's a long
period of time?
It seems like a long time.
That seems pretty fast to me.
I don't know, seems like they
should be faster.
Ryan, do you feel like that's
faster now?
Yeah, I mean, once you go up,
I'm sure you got to deal with
all the you know what?
Air traffic.
There's not the.
Planet moving type of thing.
The planet moving the.
The planet's moving, yeah.
But they're not hitting a
planet, they're hitting a space
station.
But it that's in orbit.
I'm sure they aim it for where
it's going to be.
You think it does aim it?
Yeah, like, OK, we're going to
launch space station's over
here.
Time we get to it, it's going to
be over there.
You think they're chasing it?
No, it just, it just slings
around the earth and then.
Eventually they're just aiming
that way, OK?
They know where it's going to
be.
They have those people with the
pads and the papers they're
figuring out.
I'm sorry the movie, I'm sorry
that you're disappointed that it
takes 4 hours and.
It seems like a long time.
Yeah, 4 hours and 20 minutes.
Just be just a big long wire,
right?
A big.
Long wire, Yeah, can't do that.
It goes.
It would tangle up.
That doesn't make any sense.
That makes no sense at all.
Say it's going this way.
The Earth's going this way
anyway.
Won't work.
Yeah, OK.
Maybe next time.
Oh, I guess they could line it
up where they were going as we
were going.
I feel like your next job,
you're going to be working for
SpaceX.
I don't.
Have that much lifetime to
change another career.
Yeah.
No, I'm going to submit your
resume.
Are you?
Yeah.
Oh well, it's probably on
indeed.
Or something.
I'll be there.
Fine.
LinkedIn.
Yes.
On Tuesday, April 22nd, the
rendezvous and docking will be
overseen by the inside station
of NASA astronaut Johnny Kim and
Japan Aerospace Exploration
Agency JAXA astronaut Takiua
Onishi.
That's how you say his name?
I checked.
You checked.
Are you checking the words now?
Well, it was Japanese.
I mean, there was no way going
to get right?
Everybody loves when you don't.
Those are Spanish words.
When you mispronounce, those
are.
Spanish words, Michael.
So what?
SpaceX did not broadcast views
of the Dragon.
It happened so much they don't
even care anymore.
The Dragon separation from the
Falcon 9 upper stage but did
confirm that no we did launch a
ship though.
The trunk that has a trunk like
a car contained the STPH 10
suite of payloads for the
Department of Defense's space
text program STAR.
Wars.
Laser beams.
Star Wars sharks with laser
beams sharks, which was not
noted by NASA prior to the
launch.
Are we bothering you?
No, not at all.
We're changing stories.
Are you done talking about the
spaceship in the Star Wars and
the US Department of Defense
with the secret payloads?
Yes.
The STPH 10.
What?
Is being sent via the DoD.
They're not saying it's a
secret.
Maybe we shouldn't know.
Something, it's a thing you
think Elon knows or they just go
look, we're bringing the thing.
You can't look in the box.
Maybe Elon's not allowed to look
in the box?
I feel at this point he's
probably not allowed 'cause I
think they're questioning his
loyalty now to.
What?
You didn't.
Oh, no, they did last week for
Trump.
Said some bad things.
Oh, yeah.
Because he's not on.
He's not on board with the
tariffs.
OK, So what?
Well.
If you're the tariff guy, you
want everybody on your team to
be on board with the tariffs.
I don't know.
You want to be surrounded by yes
people.
I don't want to be surrounded by
yes people.
Trump likes yes people.
If I was surrounded by yes
people then what the hell are
you doing here?
Because you just fight me all
the time.
I didn't say you were surrounded
by yes people.
I said Trump is.
I'm just saying in general, if
you're the commander in chief,
you want to be surrounded by
people like, oh, yeah, yeah,
that's great.
Yeah.
Or do he likes?
I can't tell you.
I don't know.
You want to be you.
Think nobody's told him he looks
like a Cheeto?
I think somebody has told him.
I bet nobody has.
He has.
How do I look?
Does this look good?
You look great, Sir.
It looks perfect.
No.
Don't change a thing.
You're fired.
You're fired.
He hasn't seemed as Cheeto esque
as of late.
I don't know, I I just think
it's a bad Cheeto job.
He can look like a Cheeto.
I don't care.
But let's like, do the eyes, not
just the socket.
Yeah.
They leave the socket undone and
they don't do his ears.
They usually stop and don't do
his ears.
He's got to be taped up.
Just do it all.
Just got to take the cucumbers
off.
Right.
Spray them.
Get a spray tan.
Cheeto spray tan.
Get a good spray going, Yes, OK.
Alright, so US now wants to
charge Chinese ships to dock in
American.
Ports.
I love it.
Yeah, why not just give her a
few more?
Bucks.
Why not?
United States has unveiled plans
to impose Newport fees on
Chinese ships, saying it aims to
revive American shipbuilding
again.
So now.
We're bringing back
shipbuilding.
Against China's dominance in the
industry, President Donald Trump
has embarked on a sweeping trade
war with China and move his
administration portrays as a bid
to bring manufacturing back the
United States but that critics
and many economists fear could
trigger like global recession
and increase prices for
consumers.
The Federal Register noticed
notice.
Federal Register noticed posted.
They didn't know to see
something.
They posted a notice.
Got it.
By the US Trade representation,
the USTR on Thursday said. the
US government, I like how they
have to put all the little
letters in, right?
It's not like they use that
later in the story. the US
government will charge fees and
all Chinese built and owned
ships.
So they have to change the
labels on the ships, right?
Made in America on the back.
This, and not from us.
And not from us.
We buy over heel from you.
This American it's America boat.
American Boat.
Docket to US port based on net
tonnage or goods carried on the
on each voyage.
Great, now they're getting the
tariff and the charging a fee on
the weight of the goods.
There's a fee, fee.
There's a fee fee.
There's a fee.
The new fees will be enforced in
around 180 days time, rolled out
in phased manners and may be
raised in coming years,
according to the OH USTR, sorry
here they.
Go.
There it is.
The latest announcement
backtracks from proposals
floated in February to charge
China built ships up to 1.5
million per port call.
That's nice.
That's a lot of money, which it
prompted A widespread industry
backlash.
What?
Sorry we're.
Going to be out of this deficit
in no time, right?
You know what?
Just charge one ship like, you
know, $4 trillion.
Oh, you want to Doc?
That'll be 4. $4 trillion,
please, we take American
Express.
A new.
Capital One.
It's a new rule.
Ships and shipping are vital to
American economic security and
the free flow of commerce, U.S.
trade Representative Jameson
Greer said in a statement.
The Trump administration actions
will begin to reverse Chinese
dominance, address threats to
the US supply chain, and send a
demand signaled for US built
ships.
I think that would be hilarious.
Just send them a bill.
What's the bill for they?
Get a little excessive and all
these, I mean, just say we don't
want anything else from China.
You can't bring it in.
Just cut to the chase already.
Oh Lord, even it up.
You got to even it up.
OK, so now there's a tariff on
goods made right now there's a
fee on boats that come in OK
with cardboard per employee, per
Chinese employee on your boat.
Yeah, that's a great.
It's a It's another feat.
Any Chinese food we charge by
the pound for the egg rolls and
charge.
For the noodles.
Any egg food young in the
noodles?
Lo Mein.
Oh wait, wait, is that chicken
lo Mein or vegetable lo Mein?
And is it American chicken or
Chinese chicken?
Chinese chicken.
General Sao Chicken.
We charge you a lot for that,
General.
Oh, we know.
Eat that.
I don't care you.
Get that?
Anyway, it's going to be an
additional, it's going to be an
additional trillion.
Carry the one here.
Just just bill, just send the
bill.
Hey, you owe us $35 trillion for
what?
Like, I don't know, we'll figure
that out.
Yeah, we don't know.
Just write the check, right?
the US plan provoked A robust
response from Beijing.
China's strongly China is
strongly dissatisfied and firmly
opposed to this, China's
Commerce Ministry said in a
statement Friday.
China will closely follow the
relevant development of the US
and will resolutely take
necessary measures to safeguard
its own right and interest.
And at a regular press
conference, China's Ministry of
Foreign Affairs spokesman Lin
Jun said that imposing port fees
and adding tariffs on loading
and unloading equipment.
Where?
Oh, now we're charging them to
take them on and off the boat
too.
There's got to be a fee for
that.
More a fee on the fee.
Oh, you wanted to take it off
the boat?
Off the boat.
Oh.
OK, wow, come on, there's.
One that's an extra.
Oh my God.
Just stop taking stuff from
China.
Just cut the Sanos.
No more.
No more.
It only raised global shipping
costs and disrupts the stability
of the global industry, but also
increases inflation pressures in
the US, harming the interest
American consumers.
From October 14th, Chinese owned
and operated ships will be
charged $50 a net ton, a rate
that will increase by $30 a year
over the next three years, $50.
'Cause that's for four years,
this is going to get wiped out
and if right, you know.
Chinese built ships owned by non
Chinese firms will be charged
$18.00.
So a Chinese owned ship right?
So they can't buy our ships
either.
We'll sell it to them.
You still get charged the fee.
We can sell the one boat for 35
trillion there's I mean, it's so
easy to solve all of this.
Just one bill, send one invoice.
OK, if you have a boat not made
in China, but you are China,
it's $18.00 a net ton with an
annual fee increase of $5.
Less we'll.
Increase $5.
We'll give you a discount.
I'll give you a good deal.
Well, you got to, you know, you
got to offset the inflation.
That's why I got them raising up
5 bucks.
Trump has already hiked tariffs
to a combined 145% on Chinese
made goods.
Well, Beijing is retaliated with
$125.00 duties on US goods.
Well, it's still cheaper.
Yeah, it's still less.
We're winning.
It's AW for us.
It's AW, right?
No fees on American boats and
pull into China boom, no fee
fees.
No fee.
Oh no, no fee.
Well, that we don't send
anything over there anyways.
No, no, they buy just about as
much Made in America stuff as we
buy made in China stuff.
Really.
Yes.
You think so?
Yes, I don't think that's the
case.
I used.
To do that for a living,
Michael.
There's no.
Way yes, the rich love our
American.
Stuff I'm going to tell you
right now.
What's that RV?
The silver one.
The RV?
Yeah, the the silver one.
Trailer the camper.
Yeah, Yeah.
Yeah, I know what you're talking
about.
They love those over there.
They love them, they're just
everywhere.
Yep, the people.
The rich.
People have them.
How many Fords are over there?
Oh, you'd be surprised.
Yeah.
A ton they have Fords, but they
might be a different I mean may
not be like a Ford Mustang.
It might be called a Ford
something else, but they do
have.
A Ford?
Something else?
Yeah, 'cause it was always funny
to see an American brand, but a
type of car that I've never
heard of before.
OK, so let's ask.
OK, you ask.
I'm going to talk about the Cle
goes big.
They just take the Rs off the
Ford.
They can't say.
It yeah, they can't say the Rs.
So instead of Ford, it's full
food.
We got food cars.
Keep going.
Cle goes big with the
megalophobia.
Many years ago, a cigar with the
thickness of a 60 ring gauge
would have raised an eyebrow.
Now the size is so common that
is standard in most cigar lines.
Honduran cigar maker Cle Cigar
Company has continued to push
the envelope, releasing cigars
measuring 708090 and even 100
ring gauge.
OK, just to quickly summarize
here from Grok, US imports from
China 438.9 billion.
China imports from the USA 143
billion.
Almost, I said.
It's practically the same.
It's four times the size.
We have richer people, it's 4X.
It's not the, it's not the
equivalent.
Wait, was it because we have
1/4?
138.9.
And we have 100 and something.
And four a. 143,000,000 so. 3.5
X.
Right.
I'm talking about this giant.
Yeah.
So no, it's not even.
You'd be surprised.
It's very close.
It's not.
It's not even remotely close.
Sure, it is still both millions.
Billions.
Or whatever you said, I said.
Yeah, who cares?
What is that?
I don't know.
I'm talking about 100.
Ring gauge cigar.
You're the one that's saying
it's the same.
I'm telling it's not the same, I
said almost as much.
And I'm saying it's not almost.
As much if you get that high of
a.
Number.
It isn't almost.
You just round up and it's fine.
Yes.
Oh, OK, Good for you.
Right.
All right, so ridiculous 100
ring gauge, but now?
Has dwarfed them all.
It's the latest release, Asylum
13 Megalophobia.
How big do you think it is?
It's.
Oh, we just do the ring gauge.
It's ridiculous.
The ring gauge 400 gauge.
Ryan, would you like?
A Guess 210. 134.
Ryan wins, Not that much.
Bigger.
No, it's about the.
Same.
Just by by Palmer Math, right?
By BDP Math it's it's the same,
right?
So what you're saying is?
CLD really didn't do anything.
Well, yeah, they made 130. 4
ring gauge cigar, but what the
It's close to his guess it's
about the same as the. 100 ring
gauge one, right?
No, they didn't.
Make 100 ring gauge they made
134.
I know, but you stated that the.
100 ring gauge one was the
biggest, right?
Well, yeah, they didn't go much
bigger.
Yeah, it's about the same, yeah.
It's roughly the same, thank
you, but it's longer.
It's longer.
So, but not much longer cigar
thickness.
Is measured 160 fourths of an
inch, so 134 ring gauge is more
than two inches thick.
Wow.
Cle releases mismo is what
you're saying megalophobia was.
Created as a humorous way to
assign a way for Tom Lazuka to
answer the barrage of even
bigger cigars from other
companies on the lid of the box.
Is the declaration enough is
enough?
We're just having fun with the
cigar.
It says Christian Eroa, it's
Tom's response to competitors
that keep coming out with cigars
to compete with the Asylum.
Hence, enough is enough.
The blend consists of an
Ecuadorian covered leaf,
Honduran binder and mix of
Colombian and Honduran fillers.
According to the company, the
cigar is medium to full bodied
in terms of strength due to its
mammoth dimensions.
Only two cigars are included per
box.
Only two?
Only two.
It's almost 3.
It's.
Practically 4 Practically.
Practically.
Practically a box of 20.
Along with a lighter.
With a flame large enough to
light it.
Oh.
Comes with a nice lighter.
How big is the flame?
Large enough to light it?
Yeah.
Oh, thank you.
It's about.
The same as any other lighter?
Just about, yeah.
Same about the same.
Only 250 boxes or 500 cigars
will be.
I'm surprised they're making
that many will be produced.
The suggested retail price is
$125 per cigar.
Produced in Donnelly, Honduras
at the Cle factory.
Asylum 13 Megalophobia is
expected to ship in July or
August.
We're going to get some of
those.
Where do you come up with the
name?
Megalophobia, that is.
Fear of large.
Things is it?
Yes.
So then why would you put it on
the one of the biggest things
that the cigar industry's ever
seen?
Because you should be afraid of
it.
You should be.
Afraid of it?
Yes.
If I'm afraid of it, why would I
buy it?
Well, you just said you're not
buying.
Anything.
Why don't I just call it death?
Why?
Call it death, because that's
scary, right?
Death is scary.
Are you scared of death?
No.
I'm not I'm.
Waiting you, you welcome.
Death.
At this point, I'm welcoming.
It's almost the same as life.
It's.
Practically the.
Same thing, the same thing.
It's just darker.
It's.
Quieter.
It's quieter.
That's problems, they say.
Oh my.
Goodness, are you excited about
the megalophobia rhyme?
I thought you could be excited
about death.
You're looking forward to dying,
right?
What about the death?
No, I'm not.
No, you're not.
Wait.
Death is.
A cigar I'm smoking.
Yeah, which one are we talking
about here?
No, I'm excited.
For death, of course, he's
definitely excited.
For death, but a.
Giant cigar.
He could see the Pope.
He.
Could see the Pope.
He could see the old Pope.
No, he'll be in the wrong place.
Oh man.
Pope goes to hell.
Apparently you're already here
first, folks.
All right.
Moving on, Placencio creates.
The high altitude Alma del
Cilio, OK.
Cigar.
Tobacco historically has been
grown.
What is it again?
Say it again.
What Cilio?
Cilio, C.
I.e.
LO.
Cilio, Cilio, it's got.
To be close, it's got to be
close.
Somebody will call me and tell
me.
Don't worry, you moron.
Let's see.
Tobacco historically has been
grown in valleys, low lying
areas surrounded by hills or
mountains.
A new cigar unveiled at the PCA
trade show turns traditions on
its head, and it comes with a
company with generation of
experience growing tobacco.
There is something very special,
says Nestor Placencia, opening a
box of Placencia Alma del Cilio
cigars.
The cigar, name for Soul of the
Sky features some tobacco that
is grown on a farm in the
mountains of Nicaragua And the
farm 3500 feet above sea level.
Oh oh.
It had to be brought in by.
Plane I.
Thought SpaceX would have been
I.
Was going to say that you.
Beat me to it, You beat me to
it.
It gets.
Launched into space.
Oh, SpaceX, I pick it.
Up on the way back through and
then it comes back.
Down and tobacco I.
Haven't seen any other place
that does that.
What's the rapper?
I don't know.
This is just.
Another gimmicky thing.
Everybody else gets their
tobacco from the valley.
Let's say we got it on top of
the mountain.
We got ours all.
The way on the top all the way
on the tippy tippy.
Top of the mountain.
Oh, and the view is unbelievable
up there where they're growing.
It's a great view.
The farm is called Finca San
Julian and at high altitude
delivers different weather than
Placencia finds in other parts
of Nicaragua.
His company grows more cigar
tobacco in Central America than
anybody else.
OK.
The temperature what?
OK, keep going.
I thought you were done.
No, the temperature is lower.
Especially in the evening, the
cold nights give a specific
flavor, he explains.
The high elevation and lack of
shade found in a valley leads to
more sunlight.
So why this farm?
Well, we had extra land, it was
available.
There's a family.
Connection It was a cattle and
coffee farm that was owned by
Melalina Torres, Placencia's
maternal grandmother, who spent
time there in her youth before
her father had to sell it in
1961.
We were raised listening to the
stories of the farm on the
mountains of Placencia.
And now he went back.
I get the love of tobacco.
From my father and the love of
nature from my mother.
Nestor's father, Cigar
Aficionado Hall of Fame Nestor
Placencia, bought the farm for
his wife in 1998.
This is for you.
Here is your farm.
I bought your mother's farm.
Back.
It is mine now.
Now it is mine.
We'll never lions on the.
Top of the month.
Never say, AJ.
Fernandez on it.
Do not say it will not.
Be only AJ this.
There's a picture of him the
other day, didn't have that on a
shirt.
I look close.
The soil is unbelievably rich,
says Nestor.
The water comes from a spring in
the mountains, says Nestor.
He uses some of the tobacco from
this farm, the filler blend for
Alma del Cilio.
All the tobacco is from
Nicaragua, all grown by the
Placentias.
It is finished.
It is finished with a wrapper
leaf from Halapa.
Placencia calls it medium body
cigar.
OK.
So wait a second, so it come.
So it's not even the wrapper.
I know it's part of the filler.
It's part of the filler.
It's shit tobacco.
Michael Whatever, Allegedly.
Allegedly.
I'm sure it's wonderful.
It tastes.
Right, Yeah, I don't want to
piss these guys off.
It's amazing tobacco.
It grows on top of a farm, for
God's sake.
Some people you don't want to
piss the.
Pope blessed it the day.
Before he died the day after he
met.
With JD, Yeah, that's why JD.
Came there to go.
Hey bless this.
I need you to bless this
tobacco.
Not a problem in a SpaceX.
Rocket, it's for the yeah.
And then they set the Pope up in
a SpaceX direction.
It's all coming together.
Now coming again there.
OK, so it's filler from the
mountains.
Filler.
Yes, the best.
Filler tobacco.
You can.
It's going to change.
Change cigar making.
As we know.
I wonder how much these cigars
are.
Going to be let's keep reading
Cigar.
Aficionado smoked an early
sample at the Big Smoked Meats
Whiskey Fest last week and
agreed with the medium bodied
assessment.
Oh, we agree, but he is.
It's medium.
We agreed that it's.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's medium.
Well, it is medium.
The cigar comes with three.
Boxes, each packed in boxes of
10 come in 03 sizes.
Sorry, each packed in boxes of
10.
There is a Celeste Robusto.
I thought it was like that
German thing, no?
Guess how much robusto is OK.
Hold on, $25.
Oh, exactly on the money.
Ding Ding.
Ding Ding, wow, Ryan, you don't.
Get to guess because.
He got it right on the on the
other.
Good job.
OK, there's a Toro.
Let Ryan go first on the Toro.
If the robusto's 25, yes, how
much is the Toro?
And that is a gauge. 30. 2750.
Oh, that's reasonable.
It's the same thing, yeah.
It's practically.
The same and a.
Hexagonal pressed smoke.
That is a 6 by 60.
Yeah, Not part of the
megalophobia people.
No, not a megalophobia.
Suggested retail prices.
Ryan I.
Just whiffed.
The other one I'm going with 30
again, 2950 very.
Close.
It's about.
The same.
They're all about the same
price.
By BDP By BDP Math.
That's right.
We started Alma Fuego, followed
by Alma del Campo and Alma del
Fuego.
The new cigar will be unveiled
tomorrow at the PCA wells.
Last week, the trade show, yeah,
we didn't go get one.
We did not.
All right, you got a shot of the
week.
No.
What about?
Oh, you have the the social.
Media news, You don't have any
social media stuff.
Oh, you say?
Apparently there's.
Something going on with?
Saka supposedly not on the
comedy club stand or whatever.
We didn't.
I didn't.
Hear anything?
I mean, I knew it was happening,
but I didn't hear anything about
it after the fact.
We heard nothing about it?
No.
Probably because it wasn't any
good.
You don't think it was funny?
Did you see the people they had?
Carney was on there.
I love Carney.
But he's not funny.
You don't think he's funny.
He tells good stories, but
that's not that does not
translate into the ability to
tell jokes.
If it was more roast, ask.
I don't think they were.
Roasted anybody?
I think it was supposed to be
like a 2 minute stand up.
That's probably why Steve backed
out.
You know, and I popped.
In on the Bentley guides because
you can see them from us and I'm
friends with Mike, right so
nobody mentioned over there at
all nobody talked about the.
No, nobody was talking about it.
Huh?
Very interesting.
Very.
I feel like we should be invited
to something like that.
It was open to the public.
No, but like we.
Be up on the thing.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know if it was a roast,
I'd love to.
We would RIP everybody to
shreds.
What if there's a podcast?
Where two guys just sit down and
roast everybody when we just
roast.
When we just do roast next year,
that would be great.
They they.
Should actually do that.
They should.
It should be a roast and it
should be for one of the main.
I mean, we've made fun of
everybody that came.
By the booth so far, Yeah.
And if we're not invited?
It's clear that people, well,
they're not going to invite.
Us.
You don't think so?
No.
If.
Garofalo ran it.
You don't think he'd invite us?
We're buddies at this point.
Well, maybe Garofalo.
But I mean, he ran.
We're barely allowed in the PCA.
He ran the comedy thing.
Right.
Yes, I know.
I think, I think that that's the
way the direction should go.
Yeah.
Turn into a roast.
Should they pick?
One person or roast the industry
no like you shred.
Patel, Rocky Patel or you know,
somebody?
I don't think any.
I don't think.
Any of their what's the, what's
the word?
I don't think any of them would
allow that to happen to
themselves.
No, no.
I don't know.
We'd let them roast us.
Yeah, that'd be no, but
whatever.
That wouldn't bother.
Yeah, but I mean, you've seen
those roasts.
On TV.
Then at the end you get to fight
back.
Yeah.
So they roast us and then we get
to take a shot at whoever wanted
to brave enough to say
something.
I don't think they want that
smoke bro.
Then why are they going to let
us out?
On it anyway, I think it'd be
funny.
Well, it would be.
It'd be.
Hilarious.
A couple of people.
Going Oh, he said that.
Right, a couple things.
To cover real quick, certainly
for one, you know, as far as
WrestleMania is concerned,
because that just ended, yes,
Now wrestling in my house hasn't
been as apparent as it was, not
as popular as it was in past.
Years.
Yeah.
As of right now, Jax has.
Really.
Dialed in with NBA basketball
and stuff, playoffs and all that
other stuff.
But I had a friend come over.
And he wanted to watch
WrestleMania, so we turned it
on.
Stone Cold Steve Austin ran
right into he came out to do
like announce the attendees or
whatever the thing that they do,
and he came out on this ATV
attendees of the.
WrestleMania, Yeah, the total
number.
Of people there or whatever,
right?
Oh, I got.
You so when he came.
Out he ran the ATV into the
wall.
Could he not stop it?
I guess he, yeah.
And I think a person fell or
something.
Yeah.
He can still catch the beers,
though.
I watched that.
He caught the beers very well.
He's in a lot of.
Pain, from what I understand.
You think so?
Yeah, His.
Hands and his knees.
And stuff.
There's a lot of damage to your
body when you do that.
You look pretty good.
I heard he's.
Into like wine.
Lately he's just not doing wine
now on stage.
I think he bought, yeah.
Bought a vineyard or something,
you know he should have done
that they.
Should have been throwing him
bottles of wine.
That would have been awesome.
Maybe, But yeah, so no, he ran
into the wall, which is pretty
fun.
I saw the other day.
His the Stone Cold 316 thing
that they didn't want him to do
it because they thought it was
blasphemy or whatever.
And still to this day it's the
number one selling T-shirt in
WWE history.
I believe it.
Ryan has like 8 of them, right?
Yeah.
Oh yeah, I have a flag.
Right above my bed at home, he
got a flag out from his.
House he loves Austin Stone
cold.
You know, one thing that I
thought was weird about PCA and
it continues to happen to us.
The Dojo guys do not cover us at
all.
And they were at the Roma Craft
booth.
They always are.
Yeah, they don't even wave, do
you think?
They don't like us.
Certainly they don't like us.
Why he has not said hello to?
Me since the.
Great smoke one.
Year, I mean, a long time ago I
went into.
A booth and they were there.
Oh, it was Guy Fieri when I was
taking getting pictures of the
necklace.
Oh, yeah.
And I totally, I think I trumped
them.
Like I jumped in front of them.
Like, I'm really sorry.
That's one reason.
Sorry.
Guys.
Like I'll be out of your way in
two seconds.
I do make.
Comments on their stuff on
social media.
Sometimes they acknowledge I
did, sometimes they don't.
Depends on who The Who made the
post.
I mean, we hit top. 25 half
wheel We've hit top 25 half
wheel every year since the
Kinetic.
Came out yeah, it's been a you
know, it's.
Been a minute, right?
You think that?
Why wouldn't they cover us?
They don't like us.
You know they don't like us.
Eric, if you could tell us why
you don't like us, we would like
to hear.
We should go out next.
Year to the Great Smoky Rocky
Mountain, whatever, yadda yadda
thing.
And he does that show and we
just crashed the show.
We just crashed the show, right?
Where he has.
Everybody on, it's like a
telethon sort of thing, or we
just start like.
Doing the boxing in the back or
whatever like we did, we just
walk out.
We just walk in.
Yeah, to sit.
Down.
Interesting.
Bring our own microphones.
I don't know.
I think that's.
Bring a megaphone.
And then there was one other
thing that happened on social
media that I thought was
comical.
Yes.
What was that, Michael?
People are still trying to go
out and prove information about
not not having to pay tariffs.
Oh, is that still going on?
Yeah, and I.
Asked, I said, OK, that's great.
If you could prove that, that
would be fantastic.
Unfortunately, they could not
prove it.
What they, what they did, what
they released is not
documentation proving that you
did or did not pay tariffs,
right.
So, you know, if you're going to
go paper with a rode on it, I
did.
Not pay tariff, no.
Well, yeah.
I Here it is on this napkin,
right here on the napkin.
Tariff zero.
It's mud from where my drink
sat.
On it, but it's still legal.
No, they didn't.
Disclose A75O1 form is what it's
called.
The 75 O one form, just so you
know, is where you would see if
a tariff is being applied to
SpaceX flights.
Yeah.
Yeah, you have.
To in order to get the if you
want it right, you got to launch
it into SpaceX from Nicaragua.
That gets the right.
I just wanted.
To know if Elon Musk launches
any type of spaceship out of
Nicaragua.
Yeah, he's definitely out of the
the Trump campaign booth.
There's.
Oh yeah, certainly right.
It's not happening.
Not happening.
So you know.
I think it's kind of important
that if you're going to make an
accusation or say something and
you have the ability to prove
it, you should probably disclaim
that and show your proof.
Are they showing?
Anything they did, So what?
Are they showing?
It was a.
Customs origin form that.
No, that just shows where.
You're shipping from, correct?
Yeah.
It doesn't show any amount of
tariffs, tariffs or anything on
it.
Correct, Right, correct.
And I'm sure that some people
were convinced like, oh, yeah,
that way.
Oh, yeah, look at that.
There's no.
Money mentioned on that at all,
right?
But the real.
Knife tariff schedule.
Look at that.
Don't worry.
But the reality is that it's.
Not going to be on that form.
It's going to be on 75 O one.
That's the form you fill out to
get to. 75 O 1 exactly.
Anything else?
My phone's ringing.
I got a shop of the Week.
Go ahead.
Stogie's pairing.
Cigar Lounge in Fort Myers.
Apparently they play our show on
the regular.
Oh Stogies, we love you.
Guys, we love you guys have to
come down and see you.
I don't have a listener.
I don't think you don't.
Have a listener.
Oh no.
John Lovell.
John Lovell.
Sorry I just a.
Girl in my mouth, don't you
speak cigar.
I don't speak cigar.
Yes, you.
Do you do too?
Miss Lovell, it's nice to see
you again, Sir.
Thank you.
Excellent.
All right, well, we're going to
get on to this Patreon in a
second, so thanks so much for
listening.
We got to go see you later.
Bye bye.
Welcome to the cigar.
Hustler podcast the show brought
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Support We're able to do
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One up.
Show Notes
Episode Title:
“Papal Smoke Signals, Space Packages, and Megalophobia Madness”
Episode Description:
In Episode 384 of The Cigar Hustlers Podcast, we unpack a wild week of global events and cigar industry buzz. The world mourns as Pope Francis passes away, and we break down what happens next inside the walls of the Vatican—including how the next Pope is chosen. Then, we dive into the shipping shake-up: DHL teams up with the Chinese postal service while suspending certain packages to the U.S., SpaceX starts looking a lot like Amazon in orbit, and U.S. ports are pushing back with proposed new docking fees for Chinese ships.
On the cigar front, C.L.E. launches Megalophobia in a bold move that has everyone talking, and Plasencia takes things to new heights with Alma del Cielo, a cigar crafted in high-altitude magic.
Tune in for sharp takes, solid laughs, and the insider scoop—only on The Cigar Hustlers Podcast.