ACHP 428 Captain Trump "Its Be My Tanker Now!"

Transcript

m. I'm your host, Mike Palmer, here with me pushing all the buttons again, is Boots, if I see a bear, I'm running faster than a fifth grader. Welcome to the show again, Boots. Hello.

Oh, my God. S. becomes pirates and grabs a massive tanker in the high seas. S.

floats the idea of checking tourists' Facebook pages. Oh. And Marco, Marco, Marco? Marco Rubio apparently has a favorite font.

S. C. Newman's latest human or creation, and salute Hooten Young for holding the line, then a quick what's the score, all that and more on today's episode. Do we have music right there?

No. Something to fill or something? Copyright, all this other crap. Well, we can get AI music.

All right. Well, before we get started, my co-host and the man that came up with this, with this, with the idea of this going on eight years. Michael, let's start a podcast and work for free for the rest of our lives. Step on Kevin.

Hello, Michael. Hi, Mike. How are you? Good.

I love your passive-aggressive titles that you develop. Thank you very much. Like, "Oh, you know what I can do? " I can throw jabs five times a week.

All right, Michael, how does someone get some of that hot CHPod swag? com. Check out all our latest swag. Right now, if you buy one piece of apparel, you get the second one 40% off.

And if you spend $100 or more, you're going to get free shipping. Very excited about all that. Like and subscribe to this episode, this show, please, wherever you're watching. And shout out to our latest order, Mr.

Matthew Brugger, my guy. Matthew Brugger. Oh, it's not like he said Broderick. I was like, holy crap, a celebrity bought something?

Who's Broderick? Matthew Broderick. He's an actor. Oh, Matthew Broderick.

Yes. No, it's a totally different, Matthew. Totally different. Gotcha, alright.

Alright, now the world's top stories. Bing bong. There it is. There it is.

There's a shirt coming. S. grabs a massive oil tanker off the coast of Venezuela. Alright, this one's wild.

Pay attention, Michael. S. just grabbed a gigantic oil tanker right off the coast of Venezuela. Trump's latest move to crank up the pressure on Nicolas Maduro.

When I say gigantic, Trump himself called it a large tanker. Very large. It's the biggest ship. Largest one ever seized, actually.

It's the biggest ship in the world. Which is exactly the type of thing you expect him to say. According to Attorney General Pam Bondi, the ship was hauling sanctioned oil tied to both Venezuela and Iran, so the administration swooped in to make a point. Got him.

Caracas, of course, is calling the whole thing blatant theft because that's what they do in Caracas. S. Navy has been beefing up its presence in the area, and there's even more drama. I mean, it sounds like theft, but go ahead.

More drama. Washington helped opposition leader Maria Carino Machado get out of the country, but not in time to make it to Norway for a Nobel Peace Prize ceremony. She's got the Nobel Peace Prize. Oh, we tried to get her out to...

Get her out in time to make it to the ceremony, but we didn't make it. She was late? She didn't go. I think her daughter accepted it in her honor.

So the country that she was in wouldn't allow her to go? She was in Venezuela. They didn't want her to leave. They wanted, I imagine, to either imprison or shoot.

Oh, you stay here now. You stay here, you no leave. It's messy, it's loud, and exactly the kind of geopolitical soap opera we've come to expect. Okay.

Is that all you have about it? I didn't know Venezuela was getting down like that. Yeah, me neither. You didn't know Venezuela was getting down?

You didn't know there was a problem with Venezuela? No. It's been in the news for weeks. I love living in this bubble known as the United States of America.

We just don't read the news. Yeah, no, definitely not. I told you who my media sources. Yes, I understand.

That's why I pulled the story. Thank you for keeping me... I'm trying to broaden your horizons with more international news. You're keeping me updated on a global level.

Yes. Okay, so, why... is it theft? Is it theft, the fact that we stole or procured this massive...

We like Pirates of the Caribbean and just went and took the thing. This is ours. This is ours now. Look, Navy.

No Navy, here we go. Oil prices are just dropping now. It was sanctioned oil, so I mean, Venezuela is not allowed to, I don't know why they're not allowed, I guess because we say so, to sell oil to Iran. So they were shipping from Venezuela to Iran.

How we found out, I don't know, but unless we're just checking all the ships now. Well, you gotta just look for the big boats. Well, they're not all going to Iran. There's a big one.

Where's this one going? There's a big one, let's go see where that one's going. - Right? - Right.

- So, we went... - It's kind of in the paperwork, right? - Kind of what? - It's kind of in the paperwork, right?

- Well, there is paperwork, but you would imagine if you're going to try to smuggle sanctioned oil out of your country, you could fudge the paperwork? - Yeah, like, this isn't going to Iran. - Right. - This is going somewhere else.

- Like, it's like the same thing that they do with cocaine, right? - Yeah. - Well, except this is a much bigger boat. - This is not cocaine?

- You can't hide this boat. - Yeah. - Yeah, they're doing better off - But we're gonna take it. - This is something else.

- This boat has cocaine on it, not oil. Oh, okay, that's fine. But we're going to take this. We're going to take lots of pictures with it.

Our mistake. You'll never see it again. They should have done like that Nicolas Cage movie where he was... Gone in 60 seconds?

What? Gone in 60 seconds? No, he was a gun runner. Oh, a warlord.

Warlord, yeah. Yeah, they were coming up on his boat, so he dropped a guy down the back and changed the name of the boat. Oh, yeah. Lord of War.

Lord of War. Lord of War, yeah. The other one was with the fat kid with curly hair. What?

The two kids that were, the two guys that were selling guns? What's his name? Oh, he wasn't in that one. Yeah, yeah, I know who you're talking about.

Yeah. He's not fat anymore. Super bad. He was getting from Greek.

He's skinny now. Yeah, he's skinny now. Oh, wow. I will tell you this.

Go back to yesterday's show. When you said fat kid with curly hair, you know who I instinctively thought of? Thurman Merman. Do you know who Thurman Merman is?

No. All that's coming to mind is Pat. He's the kid from Bad Santa. Oh.

Oh. Oh. A random reference. With Angelina Jolie's ex-husband.

Yes. Billy Bob. Yeah. Right.

Who is now in Landman. It all goes around us. So what do we do with the oil? Well, if we're smart, we go and dump it in one of our little refineries off the coast of Alabama or something.

Okay. I think at the moment, the boat's just sitting out there with a bunch of Navy ships around it. would be great is if we just put it in our, you know, like our warehouse next to Venezuela. Next to Venezuela.

This is ours now. Or if a Navy guy got on the boat and went, I'm the captain now. This is mine. That's that line from the movie.

Yes. My wife is calling. So he's always wanted probably to say that. Yes.

Carry on. You think they did that? I would have if I was the Navy guy. Like I've been wanting to say this my entire life.

I am commandeering. I am the captain now. What movie is that from? I don't know, with Tom Hanks.

Now we're going to talk. Oh, you know, the one he was in when he was. The Somali pirate one? Yeah, the Somali pirate one.

Oh, which connects to yesterday because there was a problem in Somalia yesterday. I like how you. Everything's connected together. I like how you link two stories right there about somebody that we're trying to get out of the country as well as the oil stealing.

Right. Because it's all Venezuela. It's all Venezuela. I didn't know, again, Venezuela's got a lot going on.

I didn't hear anything about the people. Well, I think this leads to like war? I thought we were technically at war. I thought Venezuela, the guy in charge of Venezuela declared war against us.

Well, that doesn't mean that we're at war. Well, I mean, if anybody declares war to us, you know, like them, we're like, okay. Oh, I'm going to fight you. You're silly.

Get back in your room. Okay. Okay, you fight. Okay.

I'm not sure they have a Navy, Venezuela. Apparently they don't because it's not like anybody helped them. Well, what are you going to do when you see, you know, a giant aircraft carrier the size of your country pulls up next to your boat? If you come up next to your boat.

America! Right. That was probably blaring on the one end. Oh, yeah.

Well, all ships play that when they pull up against somebody. Or like the John Cena theme song. And everybody up on the deck doing the thing with the hand. Yeah.

Can't see me. Can't see me. All right. S.

wants a deep dive into tourist social media. Are you saying terrorists? Tourists. Tourists.

People that come here to take pictures and see the Statue of Liberty. Oh. Which, spoiler alert, it's not as tall as you think. Oh, hmm.

And here's a fun new travel requirement, maybe. S. What? Okay, you're from one of our friendly nation countries that we don't require a visa for.

You come here for vacation, you want to go to Disney World. so you check in through customs check in with customs and a to see five years of your social media history how first of all what do you do just scroll down i don't know how do you print it all out before you leave i mean don't look at this one this is when i was really into some weird shit i was really drunk this night yeah i love america does it don't pay attention to this one trump number one what a weird thing right how do you how do you provide this type of Is there like an export button? Mike has no clue where we're at. I have no idea what we're talking about.

I know about scrolling down for history or something. Hold on, hold on, we'll start the movie over. S. wants a deep dive into tourist social media, not terrorist boots, tourists.

People come here to take pictures to go to the Statue of Liberty. It's not as tall as you think. Now here's a funny new travel requirement, maybe. Alright, maybe.

The Trump administration is floating in a plan that would force visitors from 42 visa-free countries. These are countries we do not require a visa from. They are friendly nations. Okay.

Alright. Big ones: UK, France, Japan, Australia. Some big names in this 42 group. Okay.

S. Okay. You got a problem with that? How do you do it?

How do you do that? You hand them your phone? You have to submit it prior to, I guess. It's not like you can get it right at the gate and say, oh, this is my Facebook profile.

Does social media consist of OnlyFans? No. I think technically. I liked it.

I liked it. I could see the grin on your face. I think technically it does. No, no way.

Sure. That would be if he had, not pages you visit. God, nobody wants to see any of that. But if you had your own social media page, that would be, I mean, OnlyFans, that would be social media.

Mike, I'll handle the OnlyFans screening, and where do I apply for the job? I'll literally be there with a sign in the front that I wrote in Crayon, OnlyFans check-in. OnlyFans check-in. And then, so he gets the job, and then he realizes that he's getting only dongs, like he's checking-in.

Yeah, that happens, I hear. I won't check those ones. They're getting in illegally. They're getting in illegally?

Come right in, come right in, I don't want to see it, I don't want to see it, come in, I don't want to see it. You have a wiener? No way. That's right, your tweets, your posts, your questionable Facebook memories, everything.

Customs and Border Protection says this isn't final yet, and they'll be taking public comments for the next two months, but if it lands, it lines up with the tighter rules they've already slapped on student visas and certain work visas. Basically, welcome to America, show us your newsfeed. That's so weird. It is, but I mean, it's like, I think that AI can kind of scan through the photos.

Yeah, like you literally walk up to a camera, it takes your picture, and it knows who you are. Like, why do you have to pull out your phone and... Well, they want to see if you're doing anti-American type posts and stuff. Yeah, what if you're a bad person?

Did you just hear what I said? Yeah. There is a camera in customs that you literally go in front of. Yeah.

It takes your picture and it knows you. They say your name. They're like, "Oh, Mr. Hippelhauser.

" Well, that's based on your passport, I would imagine. That photo that you provide to them. Do you think it's effective? Do you think this will work?

Obviously, Boots doesn't think it'll work. No. No, I mean, what, four years? " No, I don't think it's something like that, but...

Well, where's the line? What is the line? You say, "I want to blow up America"? That's a fair statement, you know, if you want to say something.

Yeah, but I'm pretty sure you're on the list already. Yeah, I got news for you. If you text that outside of the country, guess what? Yeah.

I don't know outside of the country. How do the servers work for the social media? Is it all in one place? I don't know, did you, I mean, Colba was on here a long time ago, and he talked about in an interview where he went somewhere.

Somewhere in the Mideast. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, boom, he lost global entry. He lost everything.

Right, yeah. Oh, because he went there. Yeah. So, you know.

Oh, he went to like a black place? A black site? Yes, he went to a black site? Yeah.

He didn't go to a black guy's house. You don't get denied publicly. I didn't mean it like that. You don't get denied for that.

Even though Boots thinks you should, apparently you don't. Very racist. Very racist. Speaking of black, I did watch the Diddy thing last night.

Did you? Yeah. How was that? Speaking of, I watched one last night.

It was pretty interesting, the first episode. Yeah? Yeah, it was, you know, all the comments from everybody on social media is not the same. Really?

Yeah. Yeah, there's only four episodes right now. Oh yeah? Yeah, so I'm done with the first one.

I'm gonna watch the second one tonight. Do you know that it's competing against Stranger Things right now? For number one? Really?

Oh, is it really? Yeah. I mean, it's pretty interesting. And I could see why, because it's not just about Diddy.

Yeah. It's about hip hop. Right. So that's, this is the, it's the creation of hip hop corporate world is what it is.

So it's pretty interesting. It's got Heavy D in it. I mean, there's a whole bunch of guys in it. Really?

Do you see the Marlon Wayans 50 Cent feud that's going on on Instagram? I have seen this. It's the funniest one that I saw. There was like a cartoon of 50 Cent and he was like Jack the Ripper.

Yeah. And like he came out of Diddy's, like there was like a room that had Diddy's picture on it and there was blood all over it. And then there was a room with Ja Rule's picture on it and there's blood all over it. Wow.

And then there was a room that he was getting ready to go into with Marlon Wayans. Did he just put out a cigar or something, Marlon Wayans? I think so, yeah. Coop interviewed him last week.

Did he? Interviewed Marlon Wayans? Yeah. How'd that go?

Coop? I didn't watch it. I saw the beginning of it. You know how it takes him forever to set up?

Right. So this was live at a shop, so it took him forever to set up. Forever. And so I lost interest before Marlon came out.

He lost you at set up? He lost me at set up. Wow. Like Marlon Wayans was on his show.

Yes. I saw a picture later in the week or something. Yeah. How is that not all over the internet?

Yeah. Like, that's a big one. It's Coop. Yeah.

So what? What, do you like, play a saxophone while it's in a real? It sort of explains it right there, does it? No.

I like Coop. I like Coop, too. It doesn't sound like it. But, I mean, if you're outside of the cigar industry, you don't know who he is.

So why do you care? He interviewed Marlon Wayans. Well, you think that as far as search and searches and interviews and stuff like that? Maybe they don't know how to optimize, I don't know, well, search it and see when you get done.

That's a huge name. Marlon Wayans? Yes, that's up there. Yeah.

Yeah? You know? I mean, it's not the dad, it's the son, so. It doesn't matter, it's the Wayans family.

It's not the dad? Well, what's the dad's name? Uh, Damon Wayans. That's a brother.

They're all brothers. Nobody knows the dad's name. Wasn't he the one that had the sitcom? The tall, bald guy, wasn't that the dad?

They're all brothers. Oh, is that a brother too? Yeah. Oh.

He's the oldest brother then. Yes. Oh, gotcha. Damn, bro.

I thought he was a dad. The Waynes brothers. Yeah. Well, I thought that was his sons.

Not all of them. No. They're all brothers. So is there three of them?

Three brothers? Four. There's three that are very popular. Ah.

Well, the other one played Shaft, like the original Shaft, or not the original Shaft. Not the original Shaft. The second one. Oh, really?

Shaft? Shaft. I know who Shaft is, I mean, I thought he said Shaq. All right, we all done?

Yeah. All right, Marco Rubio brings back Times New Roman like it's 1998, and in the Things I Never Thought I Would Be News category, Secretary of State Marco Rubio has decided that the Font Wars must be won. He's officially ordering diplomats to ditch the Biden area Calibri and go back to Times New Roman size 14. No exceptions.

That's standard. Times Roman? Yeah. Yeah, but during Biden, they switched to Calibri.

Really? The previous switch was meant to help with accessibility for folks who use screen readers or have reading challenges, but Rubio says the whole thing was just another bloated DEIA, I don't know what that stands for, effort. According to him, TimeZoo Roman will restore decorum and professionalism to official documents, so there you have it, international diplomacy, now with more fonts. How is it DEI?

D-E-I-A, that's some organization. Yeah, no, that's not an organization. What is it? What is it then?

So, you don't remember the whole D-E-I thing when it was about the different people and stuff? Everybody's accepted. D-E-I-A? Yeah.

No. Here, let me look at that. Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Accessibility. Yeah, there you go.

No wonder they didn't list it as seven words. It's an organization, apparently. It's an organization. It's bloated.

Loaded organization. Loaded organization. What is the difference, first of all? I don't care if you have a reading issue or not.

Visual reader. Can you not read Times New Roman? Apparently the machines can't. How did that become a thing?

Oh, I can't, I don't get the... There's not more important things going on? I mean, we may be at war with Venezuela, but let's get the fun set up right. So we stole this oil, we're raising tariffs, we're doing all of these things.

Oh, and just for the record, we're going back to Times New Roman. Because? 14. Because we're tired of this Calibri.

14. Specifically that size. 14. That's the ideal size.

It's the best size. It's the only size we can use. I would have said bold. What are we doing?

Is it standard? No. No, just standard. Italic.

We're going to use italic. No, you can't do that. Underline italic? Underline italic.

Okay. Yeah, you can't do that. We like it slanted. Okay.

Perfect. Marco Rubio. Marco Rubio. A lot of free time.

Monogamy rankings are in. Here's where humans really land. Turns out the wedding industry and the soap opera industry both had it wrong. Science is now chiming in on where humans actually land in the monogamy rankings.

A new study out of Cambridge took a hard look at how faithful different species are, comparing full siblings to half-siblings across the animal kingdom. And yes, humans made the list. We clock in at number seven. I feel like that's pretty good.

I think that's good? With about 66% of the siblings sharing both parents. Okay. Not exactly beaver-level loyalty, but now meerkat chaos either.

Up on the top, you've got the California deer mouse flexing a perfect 100%. Wow. They're always monogamous. Where has this study done?

They get the one. They get the one. I mentioned the organization earlier in the story. Yeah.

Was it in California? No. The African wild dogs is number two. Where the fuck does that live?

It doesn't say. It just gave the first one. 90%. Darmaland mole rats is number three.

A mole rat. Mustached Tamarins. Uh-oh. Wow.

Sorry, fellas. Tom Cruise is number four. Oh, help me, Tom Cruise. No, Tom Cruise is definitely not number four.

It is not even on the list. Ethiopian Wolves are always reliable. Eurasian Beavers round out the top seven. We're right behind Eurasian Beavers and us.

So the Beavers beat us. Yes. Well, the Beavers, the Mole Rats, the Tamarins, and the Wolves. Ethiopian Wolves are that.

Ethiopian Wolves, right. They don't even eat a lot. Super hungry wolves. They're super hungry.

Look, we're never going to get 100%. I'm just saying, can we move up slightly on that list? We probably could. We could take the beavers.

I would aim that, you know, just pick them off one at a time, right? 5%. I don't even know what that is. White-handed gibbon?

It's a little monkey. Oh, is it? Yes. If you're wondering how we stack up against our primate cousins, well, it's not even close.

Mountain gorillas pull a whopping 6%. No respect. No respect. No respect.

And chimps and dolphins barely register at 4%. The researcher behind the whole thing, evolutionary anthropologist Mark Deibel told the Washington Post that the numbers suggest humans are a monogamous species. Whether that surprises you probably depends on what you've seen, weddings or soap operas. This is someone's job.

Yeah. Yeah. Someone probably got a grant, too. I love this.

I'm glad. This is a good clip. This is good to cover. Like, this is awesome.

I love science stuff. Honestly. I don't know. It's fascinating.

So, let's just talk about how this science happened. Okay, let's talk about the dolphins and how they'll bang anything with a pulse. Right. Apparently, they're all sluts.

They just run around. Yeah, like, did you put six dolphins just in a pool and said, all right, let's watch these guys for the next six months? Yeah, that's what they did. Six in a pool.

Well, there's only six in the pool. You have questions about the duck. He's concerned they're having dolphin orgies every day. Yeah, there's only six.

It was a fucking eyes-wise-shut scenario with the dolphins. And apparently the chips, too. This is the same problem Adam and Eve had when it was just them. Oh, yeah?

Of course. What was their problem? There was only two of them. They were banging dolphins?

So it was a 100% ratio. I had to read that in the Bible. So it was a 100% ratio with Adam and Eve. Yeah.

I mean, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Okay. That's interesting. Yeah.

Listen, if you hang around with a dolphin and all of a sudden it's going to start dating you, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah. You don't have much choice. They're very aggressive.

Have you ever seen the videos where it's like kind of pelt somebody up against the wall? Yeah. Yeah, I'm getting this. Yeah, I'm taking some of this.

A dolphin pelted someone against the wall? Oh, yeah. I have not seen any video. If you go swimming with the dolphins, you have apparently like a 92% chance of being raped.

Yeah. Really? No. Jesus.

Well, they're only 6% monogamous. We don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't back check. What, are we going to get dolphin mail? Dolphin mail.

Oh, my God. That was pretty good. Thank you very much. Oh, I love that, man.

Dolphins, the Dolphins would bang the chimps. I mean, they don't give it. No, those two don't care. They're having the orgies that Boots wants to put on as OnlyFans.

Exactly. Would you inspect the Dolphins' social media pages if you're OnlyFans? No. You're not going to put one next to the ocean, another handwritten sign?

Flipper, I'm doing, I'm looking here and a lot of fuckin' bro. What's this chimp doing here? What is that? Denied entry.

Denied entry. Sorry, it's the rules. I see that you're aggressively spreading your seed. Yeah, go back.

Go back. Your Facebook page is in Calibri. We don't have that anymore. Yeah, you're not allowed here.

Not allowed. All right, now we're moving on to Cigar News. Oh, okay. The big, do you have a video or an audio or place cards or photos, anything?

I would have told you. Okay. Not even the dolphins. Not even have a dolphin fucking somebody else?

No. Okay. How did he get Marlon Wayans when we're talking about Dolphins fucking his drink? He's got a point.

Y'all are out of control. S. plans a new 15% tariff on some Nicaraguan goods. Cigars not included.

S. government just announced new tariffs on certain products coming in from Nicaragua, but cigars don't appeal to be on the list. The new tariffs won't start until 2027. And will stack on top of the 18% tariff the Trump administration put in place earlier this year.

However, the 15% tariff only applies to products that aren't covered under CAFTA-DR. We call it CAFTA. CAFTA-DR? We just call it CAFTA.

CAFTA the doctor? Dr. CAFTA. Dr.

CAFTA? Yeah. S. and several Latin American countries, including Nicaragua.

Here's the rollout plan for products not covered by CAFTA doctor. OIL. January 1st, 2026, zero. No new tariffs starting in January.

No new tariffs. Right. January 1st, 2027, 10%. Then you're getting 10% added on.

So now you're at 28 points. Now you're at 28 points. January 2028, 15%. On everything but cigars.

Correct. Yeah, at this point. Yep. Perfect.

If the current 18% tariff stays in place, some items could end up with a combined 33% tariff by 2028. The whole tariff system is still being challenged in court. Though, and could change depending on the Supreme Court's final ruling for now multiple industry sources say cigars should not be affected as long as product meets the rules of origin and pretzies requirements under CAFTA doctor meaning it's made with materials allowed under the agreement it qualifies for the trade protection and avoids extra tariffs. R.

R. to use cotton to use cotton to use cotton in Nicaragua, which has been tied to forced labor concerns. During the investigation, the USTR reviewed more than 2,000 public comments and explored several options, including suspending all CAFTA benefits for adding tariffs up to 100% on Nicaraguan imports. In the end, they went with the least damaging choice, a slow two-year rollout of small tariffs limited only to goods not protected by CAFTA.

The USTR says the goal is to pressure the Nicaraguan government to address human rights abuses while giving US businesses time to adjust if needed. For now, the takeaway is simple: cigars remain safe from new tariffs, and only non-CAFTA goods will see the added costs down the road. Well, that seems like all good news for us. Yeah, I mean, it is good news for the cigar industry.

It's the standard move that we've seen time and time and time again with the Trump administration, right? There's an extreme measure set, and then it's walked back over and over again. Now, the problem that I have amongst many problems, but one of the biggest problems I have with this is that that's always been the approach, excuse me, for this additional taxation that's occurring. And then everybody's like, oh, thank God, right?

When in all reality, it's still 18 points. Right, yeah. We're happy with the 18 now. That's what I was going to ask.

Mike, do you still, that, since this is a new agreement, the old agreement still stands, this is one on top. This is an addition to, yes, so, but they heard, obviously they heard an outcry of people saying, hey, like, this is going to be a problem for X, Y, Z, and you're going to impact a lot of American businesses by doing this, right? And it sounds like, and it's not really associated to the original problem of whatever this cotton thing was. Well, let's back this up a step.

The original problem was the fact that countries weren't paying their fair share. Right, that was the original, original. That was the whole thing. Right.

And then somewhere along the line, we pivoted to, you know, humanitarian rights because we can play into people's bleeding hearts and all this other stuff. Right, more acceptable now because now we're doing it because they're bad. But here and again, this is how, this is what happens time and time again in any government. The government makes a statement, and especially this government, and it's outrageous to a point where it's crippling industries, right?

It doesn't matter where it's coming from. And then, it's walked back to a palatable amount, and everybody's like, "Okay, this is fine. All right, 18 is fine. " You know, it's like the Sopranos, like, "Yo, I know I gotta pay something," but like, you know, "What's the What's the juice?

This is too much. Right, what's my vague I gotta pay? What are we doing? So...

Whatever, man. I'm not okay with the 18%. " Trump? No, they're having the Nicaragua says that to Trump during the meeting.

Oh, yeah. That's like the weapon. I understand why. It's a totally different one.

You know, they're making a new one. Yeah, I know. Yeah, we explained that on Monday. So weird, I mean, the shows are so close together now, I can actually remember what we talked about.

So I'm glad that it's been walked back, but I'm just not surprised. Yeah, like I said, this is standard procedure nowadays, you know. Maybe we need to get, like, some of the cigar guys together and go steal another oil ship. We need a ship full of tobacco.

Make a point. No, no, we give oil to Trump and then he takes off the 18%. Does Trump smoke cigars? Anybody ever seen him smoke one?

I doubt it. I know his kids do. They have a presidential cigar, don't they? The tall kid?

Junior. I know Junior does. Trump Junior. Allegedly, I guess.

I don't know. Allegedly. Probably Drew Estate type stuff. He's been given Polstanias.

Trump's son? Yeah. Who gave him those? A friend of mine.

A friend of mine? No. Years ago. The Habanos.

Oh. Yeah. I don't know if he ever smoked them. If they're not smoked, you can send them to my house.

years ago was he of age back then how old is the kid the kid's like it's not baron oh i was talking about baron no junior i was talking about the tall kid i was talking about baron no donald trump junior oh yeah he's the one that owns the uh no that's his son-in-law never mind yeah so i mean a buddy of mine was was doing something with him and he said hey he's a cigar guy why don't i send Send them some of your cigars. Oh. Sure. Never saw a photo, though.

Never. Never. I mean, look, a guy like that probably gets stuff all the time. Oh, I'm sure.

Right? Sure. Yeah, like Golden Macanudos or something. But it was, it's, regardless of whatever side you lead on, you know, or lean on, you know, it's still cool as a business owner to say, to have a friend that says, hey, I want to show a level of appreciation for so-and-so.

Sure. And I want it to be your cigars. I'm like, that is awesome, you know? So, did you slip a little note in the box?

No. With your phone number? No note. If you would like some more of these, here's my number.

No note. Please take the 18% off. No, what I did was I... It was in a box now with a please tell your dad to take the 18% off.

Here's one of the 18%. This is well before... You could get these every month. This is well before the 18%.

No, no, we do it now. Do it now? We do it again now. Yeah.

I don't know if he's still in contact with him or not. We just sent it to the White House. I think that it might have been... Right, we sent it to the White House.

Trump will get them. You think so? They won't get stopped. They won't even open the box.

For the very nice, beautiful, huge guy. We'd have to put the note way on the bottom. You know what it is? We open up, we run a cigar lounge at the UFC Fight Night at the White House.

Yes. Yeah, there we go. I'm in. You're in for anything.

Yeah, I know. Yeah. Except for the dolphin shit. I'm not in with that.

Or grizzly bears. Right. Yeah, or grizzly bears. Just has to be faster than a fifth grader.

C. C. C. 5x50 Bellicoso they officially added to the record.

This is a regular production late last year. Did we get those? No. You might have already seen a few, just not here at Cigar Hustler, floating around in samplers or promo packs, including the CRA Freedom Sampler.

By the way, those have already shipped. I saw Fox Cigars this morning was doing a video that they had there, so. Did they? Apparently nobody's asking us.

Nobody, no man, nobody does. And that's fine. Yeah, we would have got them last anyway. Listen, man, the reality, bro, is, are we gonna double down and focus on that?

No, we're not gonna. No, we're not going to. The blend sticks to the Diamond Crown vibe. Connecticut shade up top, a Dominican binder, and a mixer of Caribbean and Central American fillers.

Though, they're keeping the exact recipe close to the chest, we're not saying. As always, the cigars are rolled out to Tabacalera y Fuente in the Dominican Republic. The unirr itself is a big, elegant showpiece, about 34 by 10 by 7 inches, handcrafted with a slick white piano finish, gold accents, and custom diamond-shaped hardware. Where are they?

Inside, this is inside, Michael, five trays for the cigars, plus a hydrometer and humidification tucked behind them to keep everything in line. The original plan was 130 humidors to match the anniversary, but retailers asked for more. Drew Newman told Halfwheel they expected to land around 170, so just 40 more, so just a couple of retailers asked for more. Units total each price stacked.

Freedom Dollars, gentlemen, who wants to guess first? It's 150th anniversary humidor, 130th, we appreciate you adding on the extra 20 years. And it's a 20-count humidor, you said? No, you said like 130 or so.

Yeah, there's like a lot. It's 130? Yeah. It's got to be up there.

No ain't home. No ain't no casa. Just ignore that. I don't know, who is it?

Yeah, so anyways. It's got to be like six grand. What do you got, Boots? Um, I was probably, yeah, I was guessing somewhere around like eight to 10.

Yeah. Eight, oh, I'll say eight. Okay. Why is there a lot of people standing?

There's a lot of people walking around. Yeah, that's fine. We're in the middle of something. They have maintenance type outfits.

I don't care. It's priced at $2,250. That's it? Oh, that's cheap.

Yeah. 2,000? I thought you guys just said 800. I said 6,000.

Oh. 6,000, 8,000. It's not a, not a Ellie Blue. Yeah, but it's still a hundred and something cigars.

It's a Diamond Crown. You know how much one Diamond Crown cigar is? No, I know you. They'll be sold through 130 retailers nationwide, including the company's own Tampa factory store.

As Drew put it, Diamond Crown has always been the family's anniversary cigar. Wait. They made 130 of these. Yep.

They're selling them to 130 retailers. Right. So everybody gets one. I guess so.

Yeah. And they made 40 extra. So some people get two. Right.

Hmm. Yeah, that sounds accurate. Or maybe it's other regions. I just see my following correctly.

I guess at $2,500, you probably can't sell more than one. Or two. I don't know. I thought you said it was less than $2,500.

No, $2,250. Oh. That's how much it is. Should have sold them for $130 a piece.

Just to keep everything in line? Yeah. Keep it nice and even. They relaunched in 1995 for the company's 100th anniversary.

Back then, there was 100 cigars, and they made 100 of them. They made 100 of them. Makes sense. And then people wanted more as they made 140.

And now marking another big milestone with the special release. If you want one, check with your local Diamond Crown retailer. Once they're gone, they're gone. They may have one.

May have one, yes. They may have one. All right. Hooten Young turns RTBA into full-time line.

I'm guessing that's a cigar. I guess. RTBA? RTBA.

Okay. Did you watch their video? They started their video series this week. Oh, that was the video I was going to do, and I forgot.

I wanted to watch it too, I forgot too. I watched some of it. Oh, did you? Yeah.

Was it John Kearney and Mike Wilson? It was. Okay. I asked someone else to watch it, they didn't know who Mike Wilson was.

And it was really far away. From like us, or like the video was far away? Yeah, like if you go and you watch the camera, it's like the fire is the biggest portion of the shot, and then you don't know that it's Kearney talking. Oh.

Were they at least miked? Yeah, you can hear them fine. I just couldn't see them. Yeah.

But, you know, so that takes me back to our episode one, right, where it was just a complete dumpster fire. Well, he's done videos before. He used to do that cooking show. Yeah, but if like, okay, but still.

Wait, who did a cooking show? John Carney. Cooking with Carney. Really?

Carney and Fred Rui, you did a cooking show during COVID. Oh, wow. Yeah. Cooking with Carney.

Do they wear aprons? Yes. That's all they wore. Yeah.

I heard they were doing some cooking on the video, too. Yeah. Melting beef tallow. Yes.

And then adding whiskey to it. Correct. Did they drink it, then? No.

Oh, that sounds gross. No, they don't drink that. Greasy whiskey. So, yeah, they got some things they got to work on.

Yeah. They got some things they got to work on, but I think it's a good start. I want to be on the show. It's right up the street.

I know, that's what I mean. Yeah. I'm going to ask. Just go live and crash.

Once they're live. This starts and just go, oh, we should do that. I did that. You did that once.

Yeah, I did that on one of the- I don't know exactly where Kearney's house is. I did that on how about that cigar, I think. Yeah. Oh, I got the address, don't worry.

I got you, bro. All right. Like, let's go. Yeah, I'll go.

Dun, dun, dun. Can't be far away from cigars on the avenue. Right, yeah, it's near there. I mean, he almost walks there.

It's very close. Right. All right, they're adding 22-count boxes. Ooh, it jumped.

Back in April, Hooten Young rolled out a cigar named after the Second Amendment as part of the partnership with the NRA. Then it debuted at the NRA's Big Atlanta Show. The company said the run was limited to just 5,000 cigars. Well, that didn't last long because this week the RTBA, Right to Bear Arms, RTBA, is back and now is officially a regular production cigar.

Hmm. Snub the nose to the NRA, guys. The Hooten Young RTBA Right to Bear Arms is a 6x52 Toro wrapped in Ecuadorian Habano with a Nicaraguan binder and fillers. It's produced at Tabacalera CM in Nicaragua, and still comes in a $12 a stick, same as the original limited release.

The big change? 22 count box. 22 caliber round. I think it's just a coincidence.

Figures as much. No, I don't think they play in that. No, 22 is an odd number for a box. Like 21 makes sense, three rows of seven.

Right. 22? What do you do for 22? Two rows of 11?

I guess, yeah. Three rows of what, three and a half or what? Yeah, you cut one and a half. Cut one and a half.

One of them is a Rothschild. Oh, there you go. The name has also been tweaked to match. It's now the RTBA 22 round.

Five count bundles are, five count bundles? Aren't going anywhere either, though. Oh, okay. They will continue to be available alongside the new box.

So wait, you can buy a 22 count box or a five count bundle? Right. Okay. One or the other.

Co-founder Norman Hooten says the RTBA project is meant to reflect American values, responsibility, discipline, and the idea of being prepared. He compares the cigar to the 22 round, consistent, dependable, and built with purpose. According to John Carney, boxes of the RTBA rounds are already headed to retailers. Carney, though Bentley Tobacco USA manages Hooten Young's Premium Cigar Operations.

Through? Yeah, it's not though, through, through, though, it's not though, it was, I don't type these, I cut and paste, could be a spelling error on half wheel, could be, I guess, all right, it's time for everybody's favorite game, what's the score, that's right, gentlemen, today's first cigar is the oldest one I could find on the half wheel list, okay. It is from December 3rd, 2010. Okay.

It has been reviewed by somebody named Steve Val. Ooh. We have no idea who that is. He was from the original, because the pictures are from the original website, and it has a stogie something on the logo on it.

Now, you did already do the oldest one ever. Uh, well, okay, this is the oldest one I found last night. Okay. So, the oldest one of yesterday.

Yes, nice. EO Brands Limited Edition Nicaragua Reviews the 601 Edition Limitada 2010. The Macho. The 601.

Are we talking about Espinosa? I think EO stands for Espinosa something. Ortega. Espinosa Ortega?

Yeah. Is that his middle name? No, they're originally business partners. Eddie Ortega and Erik Espinosa started their brand together.

Oh. Hmm. Yeah. Is there, there's no weapons behind me, right?

No. Ryan's handling it. Oh, okay. Yeah, he's got the keys, letting them in somewhere.

All right, perfect. Like we had the keys down here. All right. Gentlemen, opening scores?

You know, I gotta tell you, that's probably one of the hardest things. The opening score? No, it's like looking at a scenario saying, I can't, I'm not, no. You know what I mean?

I'm not dealing with that. leaving that there you know but the guys outside oh so we had people banging on the door yeah well they knocked once yeah banging okay they were aggressively slamming the door right several of them kicking punching and shaking their hands and we could like that that in itself we could have jumped up and said hey how are you and they could have said hey we need to get in here and we still and then we still get yeah we would stop get the key and all this other stuff right and it would It wouldn't have been helpful for us at all. But because we had the discipline to just kind of keep going, it's like, yeah, no, sorry, dude, not right now. Now Ryan's keying in.

Now somebody else is dealing with the problem. Except Ryan's keying in. You know, that happens. The other thing, too, is like, so we're going to Costco.

And Costco's got these quasi-aggressive AT&T salesmen now. Have you seen this lately? Yeah, I don't go to Costco. So, like, hey, how are you, man?

How's it going? You know? And I'm like, oh, I'm good. And I'm walking with my kids and my wife.

And they're like, who do you have phone service with? And I'm like, Verizon. Like, oh, you know, we can get you a better deal at AT&T. I said, I'm not interested.

And I kept walking. And he's like, well, who, what? And he kept asking me questions. And I just kept walking.

And Jax looks at me. He starts laughing. He's like, why didn't you respond to him? I was like, I told him I wasn't interested.

I don't have to continue to have a conversation with him. Those same guys are at Target. Yeah. Sometimes you get an aggressive one at Target.

Most of the time they're just sitting back there talking to each other. Right. Sometimes, though, you get the gung ho guy that's talking. Yeah.

It's like, I politely told you no thank you. The conversation's over. Right. I have AT&T.

Right. So they go, oh, and they go, you know what, I've had AT&T so long it used to be singular before it was AT&T, and then it was singular. And then he goes, oh, thank you. Yeah, like, do you got anything free for me?

Where's my-- Yeah, can you upgrade me or something? Do I get a sticker? Yeah, because you guys are kind of expensive, to be honest with you. All right, go ahead, carry on.

I still need opening scores. Oh, for the EO 601. The 601 Edition Limitada 2010, the Macho. You go first this time.

I have never smoked a cigar, but I'm probably going to guess it's going to clock in. 2010, you probably weren't old enough back then. Yeah. Probably wasn't.

86. That's a good number. La la la la, 85, just to mess with you. All right, the cigar reviewed is a 601 Edition Limitada Macho, it's from Nicaragua, the factory is My Father's Cigars.

Oh wow, it's a great cigar. It's a Nicaraguan Habano, Binders Nicaraguan, filler Nicaraguan, it's a 6x52 Toro, it's sold for back then only $8. Really? It's a good deal.

They released 364 boxes. Kind of a weird number. That's how many they made. Number of cigars smoked for review, three.

Why do I hear voices? Because they're inspecting something or something. Okay. Boots?

We'll go 87. I like the factory. 86. Alright, clue number one, the opening of the cigar really sets the tone.

Right out of the gate, you get that long-lasting pepper kick followed by a beautifully balanced mix of mellow sweet cedar. The aged character of the woodiness paired with the subtle sweetness creates an impressively refined start that feels both complex and extremely well-crafted. The second third completely alleviates the experience delivering a creamy velvet... wait, I think I might have jumped into another one.

Hold on. Come on, Palmer. Give me a second, just a second. Yeah, all right, that was the first one.

Okay. It ended at well-crafted. 87. 86.

The second third completely alleviates the experience delivering a creamy, velvety smoke, loaded with chocolate, honey, and little touches of butter. little touches of vanilla that pop in and out. The aged cedar stays in control, but the way of these flavors weaved together gives the cigar a rich, almost Cuban-like profile. It's kind of complexity that keeps you engaged on every puff, and that ridiculously long finish is just the cherry on top.

88. Is this one of those things where you tricked us again? Nope. Are you sure?

Yep, because I just pulled three random comments out of it. Is it because we're like, we've beaten you down a little bit and it's getting towards the end of the week? Or is it just because... Why, are you confused by the comments?

No, it all sounds good. I don't, you know, I just don't know. Don't know what to tell you. Must be a great cigar.

Eighty-six. The final stretch is a fantastic close, shifting into a deep espresso note that's rich, bold, and roasted without ever becoming bitter. The chocolate cedar and creaminess from earlier still hang around, keeping the profile layered and smooth, the pepper dials back perfectly, the cigar never overheats, and it's so well-constructed, you can nub it comfortably, a truly satisfying finish. Is this the last one?

There's a final thought. OK. Bootsy? 87.

Oh, you came down. 86. Oh, my God, they're coming through the wall. Continue, please.

I was extremely impressed with this cigar. It's a medium full body cigar with a medium strength, but it has loads of flavor. Not just regular flavors, but it has a mellow aged character to it. That is just amazing.

I'm very protective of Cuban cigars in that I don't find too many non-Cubans that remind me of them, but I can honestly say this cigar has some of the same flavor and profiles as Cuban tobacco. It was very mellow, rich, and creamy, and had a nice pepper the whole way. I will be getting more of these for sure. 2010, the year of the Cuban, apparently.

89. Oh, man. That's a good, that's a good jump right there. No signals for me, huh?

Okay. I just did the Morse code, I tapped my hand. Okay. I'm going to go 90.

92. Boom! One of the highest rated Espinosa cigars on the halfway list. The Half Wheel website.

Really? Yep. What do we have for them, Johnny? Got 'em.

I win again. Well, as the winner of today's contest, Michael, you need to go deal with the guys crawling around in the catacombs. No. Call Greg.

Greg already spoke to Ryan. Oh, perfect. Yep. All right.

That is the end of the show. Anybody have anything else? Yeah, Davidoff. Oh, yeah, we do.

We have an update to Davidoff. Davidoff Gate. Let's call it Davidoff Gate. Davidoff Gate.

We have some names which we're not going to give out. Per our sources. Yes. But, well, we have more sources now.

What do they rhyme with? Multiple sources. Per multiple sources. Yes.

The fun thing is now that we have started this, that people like to tell us more things when they find things out. Hey, so you know. Just so you know, I found this. That's how it works.

Isn't that weird, how media coverage works? Right, isn't it? Like, if you report things and like, you know. People get excited that they know, well, I might know something you don't know.

Well, and they know that they're going to be protected? Right. It's wild. Maybe it was Marlon Wayans that told us.

Maybe, maybe it was Marlon. It's still locked, buddy. Okay, go ahead. All right, so their alleged positions are, with what we're going to give out, their, ooh, one of them's kind of oddly specific, though.

Okay. All right, there is a national salesman level person, and a regional salesman level person, and there was a total of five. These are the people that got let go? yes yes allegedly allegedly so five were cut five were cut one of them is a high level sales the other one's a regional level sales and there's three more that exist there's three more uh not necessarily salesmen those names have not been divulged we have not confirmed their name i have a name that is not on the list yeah do you want to give that one out now let's not do that that's fine and narrows it down yeah so that is where we're at now as this story develops we will give We have more information.

Only here on... m. If you feel like being cigar media and you want to dig a little bit deeper into this and maybe report it, reach out... We will protect you.

to Davidoff or something. No. We will not protect you. Let them go do it.

Oh. I want them to do it. I thought you wanted them to tell us. No, that's a crazy point.

We'll have you on the show and we'll use the Voice Changer 5000 and disguise your voice. Oh, if you're cigar media, you should go after this. This is a story. That would be great.

The media people, I thought, well, I'm not getting information from media, these are just general people on the street. I know, but that's what I'm saying. I thought that's who you were talking to. No, no, you didn't say it was Mel Gibson.

I didn't know. That's why I asked. It was Mel Gibson. Maybe it was Mel Gibson.

Maybe not. I'm not giving names. Yeah. Okay.

All right. Well, this concludes today's show. Thank you so much. 427.

Is it? Yeah. I thought it was 428, but maybe you're right. 427.

I think 428 is tomorrow. All right, guys. Thank you very much. We'll see you tomorrow.

Like and subscribe, like and subscribe, like and subscribe. Bye. Here you're seeing the warbear of mass destruction, the shirt that roars attitude. com.

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Show Notes

Today on the show: The U.S. becomes pirates and grabs a massive tanker in a high-seas move, uS floats the idea of checking tourists’ Facebook pages, and—because why not—Marco Rubio apparently has a favorite font. We run through the new “monogamy rankings,” look at fresh U.S. tariffs aimed squarely at cigars, check out JC Newman’s latest humidor creation, and salute Hooten Young for holding the line. Then a quick what’s the score. All that and more on today’s episode.