ACHP 428 Captain Trump "Its Be My Tanker Now!"
Transcript
When welcome to the.
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When?
Welcome to Cigar Hustler
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The day on the show, the US
becomes pirates and grabs a
massive tanker in the high seas.
Move US floats the idea of
checking tourist Facebook pages.
Oh, and Marco Marco, Marco,
Marco Rubio apparently has a
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We run through the new monogamy
rankings.
Look at a fresh US.
Look at the fresh US tariffs
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Check out JC Newman's latest
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All right, all right.
Now the world's top stories Bing
Bong.
There it is.
There it is.
There's a shirt coming.
US grabs a massive oil tanker
off the coast of Venezuela.
All right, this one's wild.
Pay attention, Michael. the US
just grabbed A gigantic oil
tanker right off the coast of
Venezuela.
Trump's latest move to crank up
the pressure on Nicolas Maduro.
When I say gigantic, Trump
himself called it a large
tanker.
Very large.
It's the biggest ship.
Largest one ever seized,
actually.
It's the biggest ship in the
world.
Which which is exactly the type
of thing you expect him to say.
According to Attorney General
Pam Bondi, the ship was hauling
sanctioned oil tied to both
Venezuela and Iran.
So the administration swooped in
to make a point.
Got him.
Caracas, of course, is calling
the whole thing blatant theft,
because that's what they do in
Caracas.
Meanwhile, the US Navy has been
beefing up its presence in the
area, and there's even more
drama.
I mean, it sounds like theft,
but go ahead.
More drama Washington helped
opposition leader Maria Carino
Machado get out of the country,
but not in time to make it to
Norway for a Nobel Priest Prize
Pre Peace Prize ceremony.
She's got the Nobel Peace Prize.
Oh, we tried to get her out to
get.
Her out in time to make it to
the ceremony, but we didn't make
it.
She was late.
She she didn't go.
I think her daughter accepted it
in her honor.
So.
So the country that she was in
wouldn't allow her to go.
She was in Venezuela.
They didn't want her to leave.
They wanted, I imagine, to
either imprison or shoot.
Oh, you stay here now.
You stay here, you know, leave.
It's messy, it's loud, and
exactly the kind of geopolitical
soap opera we've come to expect.
OK.
Is that all you have about it?
I didn't know Venezuela was
getting down like that.
Yeah, me neither.
You didn't know Venezuela was
gonna.
You didn't know there was a
problem with Venezuela.
It's been in the news for weeks.
I love living in this bubble
known as the United.
States of America.
Oh, you just don't read the news
so.
Yeah, no, definitely not.
I told you who when?
I have media sources.
Yes, I understand, that's why I
pulled this story.
Thank you for keeping.
Me, I'm trying to broaden your
horizons with more international
news.
You're keeping me updated on a
global level, yes.
OK, so why is it theft?
Is it theft the fact that we
stole or procured this massive
you?
Like Pirates of the Caribbean
and just went and took the
thing.
This is ours.
This is ours now.
Look, Navy, no Navy.
Here we go.
Oil prices are dropping.
Now it was sanctioned oil.
So I mean, Venezuela is not
allowed to.
I don't know why they're not
allowed.
I guess because we say so,
right, To sell oil to Iran.
So they were shipping from
Venezuela to Iran.
How we found out, I don't know,
unless we're just checking all
the ships now.
Oh.
Yeah, just look for the big
boats.
Well, they're not all going.
Down there's a big one.
Where's a big?
One, let's go see where that
one's going.
Right, right.
So we went.
It's kind of the paperwork,
right?
Kind of what?
It's kind of in the paperwork,
right?
Well, there is paperwork, but
you would imagine if you're
going to try to smuggle
sanctioned oil out of your
country, you could fudge the
paperwork.
Yeah, like this isn't going to
Iran, right?
This is going somewhere else.
Like it's like the same thing
that they do with cocaine,
right?
Like.
Well, he said, this is a much
bigger boat.
This is not cocaine.
You can't hide this boat.
Yeah, they're the better off
we're.
Going to take it.
This is something else.
This boat has cocaine on it, not
oil.
Oh, OK, that's fake.
But we're going to tell you
this, we're going to take lots
of pictures with it.
Our mistake.
They should have done like see
it again that Nicolas Cage movie
where he was.
Gone for 60 seconds?
What?
Gone in 60 seconds.
No, he was a gun runner.
Warlord.
Warlord.
Yeah.
Yeah, they were coming up on his
boat, so he dropped the guy down
the back and changed the name of
the boat.
Oh yeah, Lord of War, Lord of
War.
Lord of War, Yeah, the other
one, the other one was with.
Going in 60.
Seconds with curly hair?
What?
The fat kid.
Were the two kids that were the
two guys that were selling guns?
What's his?
Name.
Oh, he wasn't in that one.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know you're talking
about.
Yeah.
I can't hear he's not fat
anymore.
Super bad he was getting full
grief he's.
Skinny now.
Yeah, he's skinny now.
Yeah.
Oh wow.
Ozempic.
But I will tell you this.
Back to yesterday's show.
When you said fat kid with curly
hair, you know who I
instinctively thought of?
Thurman Merman.
Do you know who Thurman Merman
is?
No, all that's coming to mind is
Pat.
He's the kid from Bad Santa.
Oh oh, with the random reference
with Angelina Jolie's
ex-husband.
Yes, Billy Bob.
Yeah, right.
All right.
So who is now in land?
Man, it all goes around.
Us.
So we, so we've, we, we've.
So what do we do with the oil?
Well, if we're tomorrow, we go
and dump it in one of our little
refineries off the coast of
refineries.
I think at the moment the boat's
just sitting out there with a
bunch of Navy ships around it.
What would be great is if we
just put it in our, you know,
like our warehouse next to
Venezuela.
Next to Venezuela, yeah.
This is ours now.
I wonder if a a Navy guy got on
the boat and went I'm the
captain now.
This is mine.
That's that line from the movie.
Yes, my wife is calling.
So he's always wanted probably
to say that.
Yes, carry on.
You you think they did that?
I would have if I was the Navy
guy.
Like I've been wanting to say
this my entire life.
I am commandeering.
I am the captain now.
What movie is that from?
I don't know with Tom Hanks.
Now we're going to oh, you know,
the one he was in when, well, he
was the.
Somali Pirate 1.
Yeah, the Somali Pirate 10,
which connects to yesterday
'cause there was a problem in
Somalia yesterday.
I like how you.
Everything's connected together.
I like how you link 2 stories
right there about somebody that
we're trying to get out of the
country as well as the oil
stealing, right?
So.
'Cause it's all Venezuela.
It's all Venezuela.
I didn't know.
Again, Venezuela's got a lot
going on.
I I didn't hear anything.
About do you think this leads to
like war?
I thought we were technically at
war.
I thought Venezuela.
The guy in Church of Venezuela
declared war against us.
Well, that doesn't mean that
we're at war.
I mean, I mean, if anybody
declares war to us, you know,
like them, we're like.
OK, I'm going to fight you.
You're Zilly, get back in your
room.
OK, OK.
You fight.
OK.
I'm not sure they have a Navy.
Venezuela.
Apparently they don't because
it's not like anybody help them.
Well, what are you going to do
when you see, you know, a giant
aircraft carrier the size of
your country pulls up next to
your boat?
America, right?
That was probably blaring on the
one in the.
Series.
Oh yeah?
Well, all ships play that when
they pull up against somebody.
Or like the John Cena theme
song.
And everybody other up on the
deck doing the thing with the
hand.
Yeah, can't see me, can't see
me.
All right, US wants a deep dive
into tourist social media.
Are you saying terrorist?
Tourist tourist people that come
here that take pictures and see
the Statue of Liberty, which
spoiler alert, it's not as tall
as you think.
And.
Here's a fun new travel
requirement.
Maybe the Trump administration
is floating a plan that wood
forest visitors from 42 visa
free countries.
These are countries we do not
require a visa for the big ones
like the UK, France, Japan and
Australia to hand over five
years of social media history
just to get into the US.
What?
OK, you're from one of our
friendly nation countries that
we don't require a visa for.
You come here for vacation.
You want to go to Disney World?
So you check in through customs.
Check in with Customs and Aid to
see five years of your social
media history.
How?
First of all, what do you do?
Just Scroll down.
I don't know how to Do you print
it all out before you leave I?
Mean don't look at this one.
This is when I was really in
this weird.
I was really drunk this night.
I love America, does it?
Don't pay attention to this one,
trump #1.
What a weird thing.
Right.
How do you how do you provide
this type of information?
Is it like a export button?
And then think, I mean there's
already.
Slow clue where we're at.
I have no idea what we're
talking about.
I know about scrolling down for
history or.
Something Hold on, hold on.
We'll start to move you over.
We'll start to move you over.
All right.
US wants a deep dive into
tourist social media, not
terrorist tourist people who
come here to take pictures from
the Statue of Liberty change.
Spoiler alert, it's not as tall
as you think.
Yes.
Now here's a funny new travel
requirement.
Maybe the Trump administration
just floating in a plan that
wood forest visitors from 42
visa free countries.
These are countries we do not
require a visa from.
They are friendly nations.
OK, all right.
Big ones.
UK, France, Japan, Australia,
some big names in this 42 group
to hand over five years of
social media history just to get
into the US.
OK, you got a problem with.
That how do you.
How do you do it?
You hand them your phone.
You have to submit it prior to I
guess.
It's not like you can get it
right at the gate and say, oh,
this is my Facebook.
Does social media consist of
Onlyfans?
No, I think I liked it.
I liked it.
I could see the look at the grin
on your.
Face.
I think technically it does.
No, no way.
Sure.
And it's he had not not pages
you visit God, God, nobody wants
to see any of that.
But if you had your own social
media page, that would be, I
mean only fan every social
media.
Boots is like I'll handle the
only fan screening and where do
I apply for the job?
I'll, I'll literally be there
with a sign in the front that I
wrote in crayon.
Yeah, only fans.
Check.
In only fans check in and then
so he gets the job and then he
realizes that he's getting only
dongs.
Like.
Yeah, that happens, I hear.
Yeah.
I won't check those ones.
Check they're they're getting in
illegally.
Check out this.
Right in illegally.
Hey, come right in.
Come right in.
I don't want to see it.
I don't want to see it.
Come in.
I don't.
Want to see it?
You have a Wiener?
No way.
That's right, your tweets, your
posts, your questionable
Facebook memories, everything.
Customs and Border Protection
says.
This isn't final yet, and
they'll be taking public
comments for the next two
months.
But if it lands, it lines up
with the tighter rules they've
already slapped on student visas
and certain work visas.
Basically, welcome to America.
Show us your news feed.
That's so weird.
It is, but I mean, it's like I
think that AI can kind of scan
through the photos.
Yeah, they like you literally
walk up to a camera, it takes
your picture and it knows who
you are.
Like, why do you have to pull
out your phone?
And.
Well they want to see if you're
doing anti American type post
and stuff.
Yeah, what if you're a bad
person?
Did you?
Just hear what I said.
There is a a camera in customs
that you literally go in front
of.
It takes your picture and it
knows you.
They say your name.
You're like, oh, Mr.
Hippelhauser, thanks a lot.
Well, that's based on your
passport.
I would imagine that photo that
you provide to them.
Do you think it's effective?
Do you think this will work?
Obviously boots isn't going to
work.
No, no.
I I mean what, 4-4 years and
three quarter months ago I put
up a post that said Trump has
funny hair.
Now I can't get in.
No, I don't think it's something
like that, but.
Well, where's the line?
What is the what is the line You
say I want to blow up America?
That's a fair statement, you
know, if you.
Yeah, but I'm pretty sure you're
on the list already.
Yeah, Yeah, I got news for you.
If you, if you, if you, if you
text that outside of the
country, guess what?
Yeah.
I don't know outside of the
country, how does the how do the
servers work for the social
media?
Is it all in in one place?
I don't know.
Did you, I mean, Caldwell was on
here a long time ago and and he
talked about in in an interview
where he went.
Somewhere, somewhere in in the
Mideast.
Yeah.
And then all of a sudden, boom,
he lost Global Entry.
He lost.
Everything.
Yeah.
Oh, because he went there, Yeah.
So you know.
Oh.
He went to Like a black, a black
place.
Yeah, a black site.
Yes, he went to a black site.
He didn't go to a black guy's
house.
You don't.
You don't get denied.
You don't get denied for that.
Wow.
Even though Boots thinks you
should, apparently you don't.
Speaking of black guy, I did
watch the ditty thing last
night.
Did you?
How was that?
Speaking of, I watched one last
night.
It was pretty interesting in the
first episode, Yeah.
Yeah, it was.
You know, all the comments from
everybody on social media is not
the same.
Really.
Yeah, there's only four episodes
right now.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, so I'm I'm done with the
first one.
I'm gonna watch the second one
tonight do.
You know that it's competing
against Stranger Things right
now for #1 like.
Really.
Oh, is it really?
Yeah, I mean, it's pretty
interesting and and I could see
why because it's not just about
Diddy, it's about hip hop,
right.
So that's this is the it's the
creation of hip hop corporate
world is what it is.
So it's it's pretty interesting.
It's got Heavy D in it.
I mean, there's a whole bunch of
guys in it, really.
Yeah, and do you see the Marlon
Wayans $0.50 feud that's going
on on Instagram?
I, I have seen this, it's the
funniest one that I saw.
There was like a, a, a cartoon
of $0.50 and he was like Jack
the Ripper and like he came out
of Diddy's.
Like there was like a, a room
that had Diddy's picture on it
and there was blood all over it.
And then there was a room with
Ja Rule picture on it and
there's blood all over it.
And then there was a room that
he's getting ready to go into
with Marlon Wayne's picture.
Did he just put out a cigar or
something?
Marlon Wayans.
I think so, yeah.
Coop interviewed him last week.
Did he?
Interview Marlon Wayans.
Yeah.
How'd that go?
Coop I didn't watch it.
I saw the beginning of it.
You know how it takes him
forever to set up?
So this was live at a shop, so
it took him forever to set up
forever.
And so I lost interest before
Marlon came out.
He lost you at setup.
He lost me at setup.
Wow, like Marlon Wayans is on
his show?
Yes, I saw a picture later in
the week or something.
Yeah.
How is that not all over the
Internet?
Yeah, like.
Like that's a big one.
It's.
Coop Yeah.
So what?
That's sort of.
What do you like play a
saxophone while he.
Explains it right there, doesn't
he?
No, I like coop.
I like coop too.
Doesn't sound like it.
But I mean, if you're outside of
the cigar industry, you don't
know who he is, so why do you
care?
He interviewed Marlon Lands.
Well, you think that as far as
search and searches and
interviews and stuff like that?
Maybe they don't know how to
optimize, I don't know.
Search it and see when you get
done.
That's a huge name.
Marlon Wayans, yes.
That's up there, yeah.
Yeah.
You know.
And it's not the dad, it's the
son.
So.
Doesn't matter, it's the Wayans
family.
It's not the dad.
What's the dad's name?
Damon Wayans.
That's a brother.
They're all brothers.
Nobody knows the dads.
Wouldn't you?
The one that had the sitcom, the
tall bald guy.
Wasn't that the dad?
They're tall brothers.
Is that a brother too?
Yeah.
Oh, he's he's the oldest brother
then.
Yes.
Oh, got you.
Damn he bro, I.
Thought he was a dad.
The Wayne's brothers, yeah.
Well, I thought that was his
sons.
Not all of them, no.
They're all brothers, Nobody.
Knows the three three brothers.
There's three.
There's three that are very
popular.
Yeah, well, the other one played
shaft like the original shaft or
not the original shaft.
Not the original shaft, the
second one.
Oh, really?
Wait.
Shaq.
Shaft.
Shaft.
I know who shaft is.
I mean, I thought he said Shaq.
All right, we all done.
Yeah.
All right.
Marco Rubio brings back Times
New Roman like it's 1998.
And in the things I never
thought I would be would be news
category.
Secretary of State Marco Rubio
has decided that the font wars
must be won.
He's officially ordering
diplomats to ditch the Biden
area Calibri and go back to
Times New Roman, size 14, no
exceptions.
That's standard.
Times Roman.
Yeah, Yeah.
But during Biden, they switched
to Calibri.
Really.
The previous switch was meant to
help with accessibility for
folks who use screen readers or
have reading challenges.
But Rubio says the whole thing
was just another bloated DEIAI
don't know what that stands for.
Effort.
According to him, Time Zoo Roman
will restore decorum and
professionalism to official
documents.
So there you have it,
international diplomacy.
Now with more.
Fonts.
How is it DEI like?
DEIA, that's some organization.
Yeah.
No, that's no, it's not.
No, it's.
Not what is it?
What is it then?
So the you don't remember the
whole DEI thing when it was
about the different people and
stuff, Everybody's accepted.
DEIA, Yeah, no.
Diversity, equity, inclusion and
accessibility.
Yeah, there you go.
So.
I wonder they didn't list it as
as 7 words.
It's an organization.
Apparently it's bloated.
It's a bloated organization.
What?
What is the difference?
First of all, I don't care if
you have a reading a reader
issue or not.
Visual Reader.
Can you not read Times New
Roman?
Yeah, like.
Apparently the machines can't.
How did that become a thing?
Oh, I can't.
I don't get the the.
Yeah, there's not more important
things going on.
I mean, we may be at war with
Venezuela, but let's get the
font side up, right?
So we stole this oil, we're
raising tariffs, we're doing all
of these things.
Oh, and just for the record,
we're going back to Times New
Roman because. 14.
'Cause we're tired of this
calibri. 14, specifically that
size, 14, that's the ideal size.
It's the best size.
It's the only.
Size.
I would've said bold.
What are we doing?
Is it standard?
No.
No, no, just.
Standard.
We're going to use it.
Italic.
No, you can't do that.
Underline, underline italic.
Underline italic.
OK there.
You can do like it slanted.
OK, perfect, Marco Rubio.
Marco Rubio A lot of free time
monogamy rankings are in.
Here's where humans really land.
Turns out the wedding industry
and the soap opera industry both
had it wrong.
Science is now chiming in on
where humans actually land in
the monogamy rankings.
A new study out of Cambridge
took a hard look at how faithful
different species are, comparing
full siblings to half siblings
across the animal Kingdom.
And yes, humans made the list we
clock in at #7.
I feel like that's pretty good.
Yeah, it's good, with about 66%
of the siblings sharing both
parents.
OK, not exactly Beaver level
loyalty, but now meerkat chaos
either.
Up on the top, you've got the
California deer mouse flexing a
perfect 100%.
Wow, they're.
Always monogamous, they.
Pick Where was this study done?
They get the one.
They get the one I mentioned the
organization earlier in the
story.
Yeah.
Was it in California?
No, no, the African Wild Dogs is
number 2.
What was their IT?
Doesn't say, they just.
It's like the first 90%.
Dharma Land mole rats is #3.
A mole rat.
Mustache Tamarinds.
Oh.
Wow, sorry.
Fellas.
Tom Cruise is #4?
Oh.
Help me, Tom Cruise.
No, Tom Cruise is definitely not
#4 it is not even on the list.
Ethiopian wolves are always
reliable.
Eurasian Beavers round out the
top 7.
We're right behind us, Beavers
in us.
So the Beavers beat us.
Yes, well, the Beavers, the mole
rats, the tamarinds and the
wolves.
Ethiopian wolves at that.
Ethiopian wolves, right?
I mean, they don't even eat a
lot.
Super hungry wolves.
Look, we're never get hungry.
Well, look, we're never going to
get 100%.
I'm just saying, can we move up
slightly on that list?
We probably could.
We could take the Beavers.
I would aim that, you know, just
pick them off one at a time,
right?
White handed Gibbons are at
63.5% I.
Don't even know what that is.
White handed Gibbons, so a
little monkey.
Oh, is it?
Yes.
If you're wondering how we stack
up against our primate cousins,
well, it's not even close.
Mountain gorillas pull a
whopping 6%.
No respect.
No respect and chimps and
dolphins barely register at 4%.
The researcher behind the whole
thing, Eleven St. evolutionary
anthropologist Mark Dybold, told
the Washington Post that the
number suggests humans are a
monogamous species.
Whether that surprises you
probably depends on what you've
seen at weddings or soap operas.
This is someone's job.
Yeah, yeah, someone probably got
a grant too.
I love this.
I'm glad this is This is a good
clip.
This is good to cover.
Like this is awesome.
I love science stuff.
Honestly, no.
No.
Fascinating.
So let's just talk about how
this science happened.
OK, let's talk about the
Dolphins and how they'll bang
anything with a pulse, right?
So apparently apparently.
They're all slug.
Yeah, like did you?
Put swimmer off.
In a pool and said all right,
let's watch these guys for the
next 6 months.
Yeah, that's what they did 6 in
the.
Pool.
Well, they well, there's only
six in the pool.
You have you have questions
about the?
He's concerned they're having
dolphin orgies every.
Yeah, there's only. 6 There's a
fucking Eyes Wide Shut scenario
with the Dolphins.
This.
Is apparently the chips too, so.
This is the same problem Adam
and Eve had when it was just
them.
Oh yeah, what was their problem?
There was only two of them.
They were banging dolphins.
So it was 100%.
So the 100% ratio with Adam and
Eve, Yeah.
I mean, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
OK, that's interesting.
Yeah.
I listen, if you, you know, you
hang around with a dolphin and
all of a sudden it's going to
start dating you, you know what
I mean?
Like.
Oh yeah, you don't have much
choice.
Yeah.
And if it's very.
Aggressive.
You ever seen the videos where
it's like kind of pelt somebody
up against the wall and yeah,
I'm getting this.
Yeah, I'm taking somebody.
A dolphin pelted someone against
the wall.
Oh yeah.
And.
If you go swimming with the
dolphins, you have apparently
like a 92% chance of being
raped, yeah.
Really.
No. 94 when they're only 6%
monogamy.
We don't.
We don't, we don't back check.
Well, we're gonna get Dolphin
male.
Dolphin.
Oh my God.
That's pretty good.
Thank you very much.
Oh, I love that man.
Dolphins.
The dolphins would bang the
chimps.
I mean, they don't give.
Him they don't.
No, those two don't care that
they're having the the orgies of
which ones to put on his only
fans.
Exactly.
Would you inspect the the
Dolphins social media pages?
If you're only fans, you're.
Not going to put one next to the
ocean another.
Handwritten sign flipper.
I'm doing I'm looking here and
lot of fucking bro.
What's this chimp doing here?
What's this?
Denied entry.
Denied entry.
Sorry, it's the rules.
I see that you're aggressively
spreading your seed.
Yeah, go back.
Your Facebook page is in
Calibri.
We don't have that anymore.
Yeah, you're not allowed to.
Not allowed.
All right, now we're moving on
to cigar news.
Oh, OK.
The big oh do you have a video
or an audio or place cards or
photos anything I.
Would have told you OK.
Not even the Dolphins.
Not even have a dolphin fucking
somebody else.
No, OK.
How did he get Marlon Wayne's?
And we're talking about dolphins
fucking.
He's got a point.
Y'all are out of control.
US plans a new 15% tariff on
some Nicaraguan goods, cigars
not included the US government
just announced new tariffs on
certain products coming in from
Nicaragua, but cigars don't
appeal to be on the list.
The new tariffs won't start
until 2027 and will snack on top
of the 18% tariff the Trump
administration put in place
earlier this year.
However, the 15% tariff only
applies to products that aren't
covered under CAF.
TA-DR. Yeah, we call it CAFTA.
CAFTA, Dr. We.
Just call it CAFTA.
CAFTA The.
Doctor CAFTA.
Doctor CAFTA.
Doctor CAFTA, the trade
agreement between the US and
several Latin American
countries, including and
Nicaragua.
Here's the rollout plan for
products not covered by CAFTA.
Dr. Oil.
January 1st, 2026, zero.
No, no new tariffs starting in
January, No new tariffs, right?
January 1st, 2020 seven, 10%
Then you're getting 10% added
on.
So you now you got 28.
Points Now you had 28 points
January 20, 2815 percent.
On everything but cigars.
Correct.
Yeah, at this point, perfect.
If the current 18% tariff stays
in place, some items could end
up with a combined 33% tariff by
2028.
The whole tariff system is still
being challenged in court,
though, and could change
depending on the Supreme Court's
final ruling.
For now, multiple industry
sources say cigars should not be
affected as long as product
meets the rules of origin in
Prezi's requirements under CAFTA
Dr., meaning it's made with
materials allowed under the
agreement, It qualifies for the
trade protection and avoids
extra tariffs.
These new tariffs come out of.
AUS Trade Representative USTR
investigation into Nicaragua's
human rights issues and alleged
violations of the CAFTA DUR
agreement.
The investigation began after
what?
CAFTA Dur.
Dr. Investigation began after a
major textile company accused a
Chinese owned factory in
Nicaragua of using cotton from
China's Xinjiang region, which
has been tied to forced labor
concerns.
During the investigation, the
USTR reviewed more than 2000
public comments and explored
several options, including
suspending all CAFTA benefits
for adding tariffs up to 100% on
Nicaraguan imports.
In the end they went with the
least damaging choice, a slow 2
year rollout of small tariffs
limited only to goods not
protected by CAFTA.
The USTR says the goal is to
pressure the Nicaraguan
government to address human
rights abuses while giving US
businesses time to adjust if
needed.
For now, the take away is
simple.
Cigars remain safe from new
tariffs and only non CAFTA goods
that will see the added cost
down the road.
Well, that seems like all good
news for us.
Yeah, I, I mean, it is good.
It is good news for the cigar
industry.
It's the standard move that
we've seen time and time and
time again with the the Trump
administration, right?
There's an extreme measure set
and then it's walked back over
and over again.
Now, the problem that I have
amongst many problems, but one
of the biggest problems I have
with this is that that's always
been the approach, excuse me for
this additional taxation that's
occurring.
And then everybody's like, oh,
thank God, right, Right.
When in all reality it's still
18.
Points, right?
Yeah, we're happy with the 18
now.
That's why I was gonna ask,
like, do you still that since
this is a new agreement, the old
agreement still stands?
This is one on top.
This is in addition.
Too yes so but they heard
obviously they heard an outcry
of people saying hey you like
this is gonna be a problem for
XYZ and you're gonna impact a
lot of American businesses by
doing this right and it.
Sounds like, and it's not really
associated to the original
problem of whatever this cotton
thing was.
Well, let's back this up a step.
The original problem was the
fact that countries weren't
paying their fair.
Share That was the original.
Original.
That was the whole thing.
And then somewhere along the
line, we pivoted to, you know,
humanitarian rights because we
can play into people's bleeding
hearts and all this other stuff.
And, and.
That more acceptable now,
because now we're doing it
because they're bad.
But here and again, this is how
this is what happens time and
time again in any government.
The government makes a statement
and especially this government
and it's and it's outrageous.
It's to a point where it's
crippling industries, right,
where it doesn't matter where
it's coming from.
And then it's walked back to a
palatable amount and everybody's
like, OK, this is fine.
Alright, take the 18.
You know, it's like, it's like
The Sopranos.
Like, yo, I know I got to pay
something, but like, you know,
what's the juice?
It's too much.
What's my vague I got to pay?
You know.
What are we doing?
So whatever man, it's not I'm,
I'm not OK with the 18%.
Nicaragua has a meeting with
Trump and he's looking around
and they go, what are you doing?
I'm looking to see if I'm
standing on plastic.
Trump.
No, they're having the Nicaragua
says that to Trump during the
meeting.
Oh yeah, that's not the weapon.
It's 18.
Oh, I understand why it's a
totally different 1.
You know they're making a new
one.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah, we explained that on
Monday.
So weird.
I mean, the shows are so close
together now.
I can actually remember what we
talked about.
So I'm glad that it's been
walked back, but I'm just not
surprised.
Yeah, like I said, this is
standard procedure nowadays, you
know.
Well, maybe we need to get like
some of the cigar guys together
and go steal another oil ship.
Maybe that?
We need a ship full of tobacco.
Make our point.
No, no, we give oil to Trump and
then he takes off the 18%.
Does Trump smoke cigars?
Anybody ever seen him smoke
with?
I doubt it.
I they.
I know, I know, his kids do.
Presidential cigar.
Don't.
They the tall kid.
Junior.
I know the junior does trump
junior?
Allegedly?
I guess I don't know.
Allegedly.
Probably drew a state type
stuff.
He's been given postagnas.
Trump's son?
Yeah.
Who gave him those?
A friend of mine, friend of mine
years ago, the habanos, Oh yeah,
I don't know if he ever smoked
them.
If they're not smoked you can
send them to my house.
Years ago?
Was he of age back then?
How old's the kid?
The kids like it's not Baron.
Oh, I was talking about Baron.
No Junior.
Talk about Trump, junior.
I was talking about the talk.
I was talking about Baron.
No Donald Trump junior.
Oh.
Yeah, he's the one that owns the
No, it's a son-in-law.
Never mind.
Yeah, so, I mean, a buddy of
mine was was doing something
with him and he said, hey, he's
a cigar guy, why don't I send
him some of your cigars?
Oh, sure.
Never saw a photo though.
Never.
Never.
I mean, look, a guy like that
probably gets stuff all the
time.
Oh, I'm sure, right?
Sure.
Yeah, like, you know.
Golden Macanudos or something?
But it was it's regardless of
whatever side you you lead on,
you know, or lean on, you know,
it's still cool as a business
owner to say to have a friend
that says, Hey, I want to show a
a level of appreciation for so
and so and I want it to be your
cigars.
I'm like, that is awesome.
You know, so can.
You slip a little note in the
box.
No.
With your phone number.
No.
No.
If you would like some more of
these, here's my number.
No.
No.
Please take the 18% off.
No, what I did was I can.
We send a box now with the
police.
Tell your dad to take the 18%.
From the 18%?
This is well before we get these
every month.
This is well before the 18%, no?
No, we do it now.
Do it now.
We do it again now.
Yeah, I don't know if he's still
in contact with him.
Or not.
We just sent it to the White
House.
I think that it might have been.
Right.
Which of the White House Trump
will get him?
You think so it.
Won't get stopped.
For the very.
They won't even.
Make beautiful huge guy.
We'd have to put the you know
way on the bottom.
We go to the you know what it
is?
We we open up a we run a cigar
lounge at the UFC Fight Night at
at the White House.
Yes, yeah, there we go.
I'm in.
You're in with for anything.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah, except for the dolphin
shit.
I'm not in with that.
Or grizzly bears.
Right.
Yeah, Grizzly just has to be
faster than 1/5 grader, all
right.
JC Newman rolls out the diamond
crowned 100.
I thought you put your hands up
like there was something wrong.
JC Newman rolls out the diamond
crowned 130th anniversary
humidor.
JC Newman is celebrating 130
years in the game, and they're
doing it in true Diamond Crown
style.
The company is shipping out a
limited edition 130th
anniversary humidor loaded with
130 Diamond Crown Classic
Bellicoso number nines the same
6 1/2 by 50 Bellicoso.
They officially added to the
regular production late last
year.
Did we get those?
No.
You might already seen a few,
just not here at Cigar Hustler
floating around in samplers or
promo packs, including the CRA
Freedom Sampler.
By the way, those those have
already shipped.
I saw Fox Cigars this morning
was doing a video that they had
there.
So did they, apparently.
Nobody's.
Nobody's asking us.
Nobody.
No, man, nobody does.
And that's fine.
That's yeah, yeah, yeah.
We would've got them blast
anyway.
Like who's?
Listen man, the reality bro, is
are we gonna double down and
focus on that?
No, we're not gonna.
We're not going to The blend
sticks to the Diamond Crown vibe
Connecticut shade up top a
Dominican binder in a mixer of
Caribbean and Central American
fillers, though they're keeping
the exact recipe close to the
chest.
We're not saying.
As always, the cigars are rolled
out the topical era a Fuente in
the Dominican Republic.
The unaware itself is a big,
elegant showpiece, about 34 by
10 by 7 inches, handcrafted with
a slick white piano finish, gold
accents and custom diamond
shaped hardware.
Really inside, this is inside,
Michael. 5 trays for the cigars,
plus a hydrometer and
humidification tucked behind
them to keep everything in line.
The original plan was 130 human
doors to match the anniversary,
but retailers asked for more.
Drew Newman told Half Wheel they
expected to land around 170, so
just 40 more.
So just a couple of retailers
got you ask for more units
total, each priced at Freedom
Dollars.
Gentlemen, who wants to guess
first?
It's 150th anniversary humidor.
130th 130 We appreciate you 8090
extra 20 years.
And it's a 20 kind of humidor,
you said?
No, he said.
Like 100 and. 30 years, yeah,
there's like a lot.
It's 130.
Yeah.
It's got to be up there.
No one home.
No one in El Casa.
Sorry, we're in the just ignore
that I don't.
Know who is it?
Yeah, so anyways, it's got to be
like 6 grand.
What do you got?
Boots.
I was, yeah, I was guessing
somewhere around like 8 to 10.
Yeah. 80 I'll say 8 OK, why is
there a lot of people staying?
A lot of people walking around
there.
That's fine.
We're in the middle of
something.
They have maintenance type
outfits.
I don't care.
It's priced at $2250.
That's it.
That's.
Cheap, yeah. 2000, I thought you
guys just said 800.
I said 6000. 6008 thousand.
Not a not ALE.
Blue, yeah, but it's still 100
and something Cigars.
The Diamond Crown.
You know how much 1 Diamond
Crown cigar is?
No, I know you they They'll be
sold through 130 retailers
nationwide, including the
company's own Tampa Factory
store.
As Drew put it, Diamond Crown
has always been the family's
anniversary cigar.
Wait, they made 130 of these?
Yep, they're selling them to 130
retailers, right?
So everybody gets one.
I guess so.
Yeah, and they made 40 extras,
so some people get 2.
Right.
Yeah, that sounds accurate.
Or maybe it's other?
I just see my following
correctly.
I guess at $2500 you probably
can't sell more than one or two.
I don't know.
I.
Thought I said it was less than
2500.
No $2250.
Oh.
That's how much it is should
have.
Sold them for $130.00 a piece.
Just keep everything in line.
Yeah, keep it nice and even.
They relaunched in 1995 for the
company's 100th anniversary.
Back then they there was 100
cigars and they made a hundred
of them makes sense.
And then people wanted more as
they made 140.
And now I'm marking another big
milestone with the special
release.
If you want one, check with your
local Diamond Crown retailer.
Once they're gone, they're gone.
They.
May have one.
May have one.
Yes, they may have one.
All right.
Hooton Young turns RTBA into
full time line guess and that's
a cigar.
I guess RTB.
ARTBA OK did you watch their?
They started their video series
this week.
Oh, that was what the video I
was going to do and I forgot.
I wanted to watch it too.
I forgot to.
I I watched some of it.
I watched it, yeah.
Was it John Carney and Mike
Wilson?
It was OK, so I asked someone
else to watch it.
They didn't know who Mike Wilson
was so.
And it was really far away.
From like us or like the video
was.
Like if you if you go and you
watch the camera, it's like the
the fire is the biggest portion
of the shot.
And then and then you don't know
that it's Carney talking.
You're like.
Were they at least miked?
Yeah, you can hear them fine.
I just couldn't see them.
Yeah, but you know, it's so that
takes me back to our episode
one, right where it was just a
complete dumpster fire.
He's done videos before.
He used to do that cooking.
Show, yeah, but it's like, OK,
but still.
Wait, who did the cooking show?
John Carney.
Cooking with Carney.
Really, Carney and Fred Rui, you
did a cooking show during COVID?
Oh wow.
Yeah, cooking with Carney.
Do they wear aprons?
Yes, that's all they did, Yeah.
I heard they were doing some
cooking on on the video too.
Yeah.
Melting beef tallow, yes.
And then adding whiskey to it.
Correct.
Did they drink it then?
No.
Oh, like that sounds?
Gross.
No, they don't drink that.
Greasy whiskey.
So yeah, they got, they got some
things they got to work on, they
got some things they got to work
on.
But I think it's a good start.
I want to be on the show.
It's right up the street.
I know, that's what I mean.
I'm going to ask.
Just go live and crash.
It's all once they're live.
Once it starts, you just go, oh,
we should do that.
I did that.
I did that once.
I did that on one of the.
I don't know exactly where
Kearney's house is.
I don't know.
How about that cigar?
I think.
Oh, I got the address.
Don't I?
Got you, bro.
Let's go.
Yeah, I'll go.
Can't be far away from cigars on
the Ave.
Right.
Yeah, it's near there.
I mean, he almost walks there.
It's very close.
Right.
All right, they're adding 22
count boxes jumped back in
April, Hooten Young rolled out a
cigar named after the Second
Amendment as part of the
partnership with the NRA.
Then it debuted at the NR as Big
Atlanta show.
The company said the run was
limited to just 5000 cigars.
Well, that didn't last long
because this week the RTBA Right
to Bear Arms RTB is back and now
is officially a regular
production cigar.
Snub the nose to the NRA guys.
The hooten young RTBA Jokes on
you.
Right to bear arms.
A6 by 52 Toro wrapped in
Ecuadorian Habano with a
Nicaraguan binder and fillers.
It's produced at Tablicalera CM
in Nicaragua and still comes in
a $12.00 a stick, same as the
original limited release.
The big change?
It's now in a 22 count box and
nod to the 22 caliber round.
I think it's just a coincidence.
No, I don't think they play in
that.
No, 22 is an odd number for a
box like 21.
Makes sense. 3 rows of seven.
Right 22.
What do you do for 22?
Two rows of 11.
I guess, yeah. 3 rows of what?
The 3 1/2 or what?
Is it?
Yeah, you cut one in half.
Cut 1 1/2.
One of them is a Rothschild.
There you go.
The name has also been tweaked
to match.
It's now the RTBA 22 round. 5
count bundles are. 5 count
bundles aren't going anywhere
either though.
Oh OK.
They will continue to be
available alongside the new box.
So wait, you can buy a 22 count
box or A5 count bundle right?
OK, one of the other.
Co founder Norman Hooton that
says the RTBA project is meant
to reflect American values,
responsibility, discipline and
the idea of being prepared.
He compares the cigar to the 22
round, consistent, dependable
and built with purpose.
According to John Carney, boxes
of the RTBA rounds are already
headed to retailers.
Carney foe Bentley Tobacco USA
manages Hooton Young's premium
cigar operations.
Through.
That's.
Yeah, it's not though.
Through though it's not, though
it was.
I don't type these, I cut and
paste.
Could be a spelling error on
half wheel.
Could be, I guess.
All right.
It's time for everybody's
favorite game.
What's the score?
Right, right, gentlemen, Today's
first cigar is the oldest one I
could find on the halfway list.
OK.
It is from December 3rd, 2010.
It has been reviewed by somebody
named Steve Val.
We have no idea who that is.
He was from the original cause
the web.
The pictures are from the
original website and it has a
stogie something right on the.
Logo on it now.
You did already do the oldest
one ever.
Well, OK, this is the oldest one
I found last night, OK.
So the oldest one of yesterday,
yes.
Nice.
EO Brands limited edition
Nicaragua reviews the Six O 1
edition Limitada 2010 the Macho.
The six O 1.
Are we talking about espinosas
ago?
I think EO stands for Espinosa
something.
Ortega.
Espinosa Ortega, Yeah.
Is that his middle name?
No, they were originally
business partners.
Eddie Ortega and Eric Espinoza
started their brand together.
Oh yeah.
Is there there's no weapons
behind me, right?
No.
Ryan's handling it.
Right.
Yeah, he's got the key.
He's letting him in somewhere.
All right.
Perfect.
Like we had, like we had the
keys down here.
All right, gentlemen, opening
scores.
You know, I gotta tell ya,
that's probably one of the
hardest things is.
Just the opening score.
No, it's like looking at a
scenario saying I can't, I'm
not, no, you know what?
I'm not dealing with that.
Just leaving.
I'm leaving that there, you
know, But the guy's outside, so
we had people banging on the
door.
Yeah, well, they knocked once.
Banging.
OK, they were aggressively
slamming the door.
Several of them kicking,
punching and shaking their
hands.
And we could like that, that in
itself.
We could have jumped up and
said, hey, how are you?
And they could have said, hey,
we need to get in here.
And we still.
And then we.
Still get?
Yeah, we wouldn't.
Stop, get the key and all this
other stuff right.
And it would have been, it
wouldn't have been helpful for
us at all, but because we had
the discipline to just kind of
keep going, say, yeah, no,
sorry, dude, not right, not
right now.
Now somebody else is dealing
with the problem.
Which is up Ryan's key and in.
You know that happens.
The other thing too is like, so
I go on to Costco and Costco's
got these quasi aggressive AT&T
salesman now.
Have you seen this lately?
Yeah, I I don't go to Costco.
So like, Hey, how are you, man?
How's it doing?
You know, and I'm like, oh, I'm
good.
And I'm walking with my, my kids
and my wife and they're like,
who do you have?
We have phone service with?
And I'm like Verizon like, oh,
you know, we can get you a
better deal at AT.
And TI said I'm not interested.
And I kept walking and he's
like, well, who, what?
And they kept asking me
questions and I just kept
walking.
And Jax looks at me.
He starts laughing.
He's like, why didn't you
respond to him?
I was like, I told him I wasn't
interested.
I don't have to continue to have
a conversation with him.
Those same guys are at Target.
Sometimes you get an aggressive
when at Target, most of the time
they're just sitting back there
talking to each other, right.
Sometimes, oh, you get the gung
ho guy that's talking, Yeah.
It's like I politely told you,
no thank you, the conversation's
over.
Right.
I have AT&T, right?
So they go, oh, I go, you know
what?
I've had AT&T so long.
It used to be singular before it
was AT&T, and then it was
singular.
So then he goes, oh.
Yeah, like do you got anything
free from me?
Where's my yeah, can you upgrade
me or something?
Do I got a sticker?
Because you guys are kind of
expensive to be honest with you.
All right, go ahead, carry on.
I still need opening scores.
Oh for the EO six O 1.
Six O 1 Addicion limitata 2010
The Macho.
You go first this time.
I have never smelt a cigar, but
I'm probably going to guess it's
going to.
For 2010, you probably weren't
old enough back then.
Yeah.
Probably 86.
It's a good number 85 just to
mess with you all.
Right.
The cigarette reviewed is a six
O 1 addition Limitata Macho.
It's from Nicaragua.
The factory is my father's
cigars.
It's.
A great cigar.
It's a Nicaraguan Habano binders
Nicaraguan filler Nicaraguan.
It's a 6 by 52 Toro it sold for
back then.
Only $8.
It's a good deal.
They released 364 boxes.
Kind of a weird number.
It's how many they made.
Number of cigars smoke Review
Three What do I hear?
Voices.
'Cause they're inspecting
something or something.
Oh, OK, Boots.
We'll go 87.
I like the factory. 86.
All right, clue #1 the opening
of the cigar really sets the
tone right out of the gate.
You get that long lasting pepper
kick followed by a beautifully
balanced mix of mellow, sweet
cedar.
The age character of the
wittiness paired with the subtle
sweetness creates an
impressively refined start that
feels both complex and extremely
well crafted.
The second third completely
alleviates the experience,
delivering A creamy velvet.
Wait, I think I might have
jumped into another one.
Hold on.
Come on, Palmer, Give.
Me a second.
Just a second.
Yeah.
All right.
That was the first one.
OK.
And ended it well crafted. 87.
86.
The second third completely
alleviates the experience,
delivering A creamy, velvety
smoke loaded with chocolate,
honey and little touches of
vanilla that pop in and out the
age.
Cedar stays in control, but the
way of these flavors weave
together gives a cigar rich,
almost Cuban like profile.
It's kind of complexity that
keeps you engaged on every puff,
and that ridiculously long
finish is just the cherry on
top. 88.
Is this one of those things
where you tricked us again?
Nope.
Are.
You sure?
Yep.
'Cause I just pulled three
random comments out of it.
Is it because we're like, we've
beaten you down a little bit,
it's getting towards the end of
the week, or is it just because?
Why are you confused by the
comments?
No, it all sounds good.
I don't, you know, like it's
don't know.
Don't know what to tell.
You must be a great cigar. 86.
The final stretch is a fantastic
close, shifting into a deep
espresso note that's rich, bold
and roasted without ever
becoming bitter.
The chocolate, cedar and
creaminess from earlier still
hang around, keeping the profile
layered and smooth.
The pepper dials back perfectly,
the cigar never overheats, and
it's so well constructed you can
nub it comfortably.
A truly satisfied finish.
Is this the last one?
There's a final thought.
OK, let's see. 87.
Oh, you came down 86?
Oh my God, they're coming
through the wall.
Continue, please.
I was extremely impressed with
this cigar.
It's a medium full body cigar
with a medium strength but it
has loads of flavor.
Not just regular flavors but it
has a mellow age character to it
that is just amazing.
I'm very protective of Cuban
cigars and that I don't find too
many non Cubans that remind me
of them, but I can honestly say
this cigar has some of the same
flavor and profiles as Cuban and
tobacco.
It was very mellow, rich and
creamy and had a nice pepper the
whole way.
I will be getting more of these
for sure. 2010, the year of the
Cuban, apparently. 89.
Oh man, that's a good, that's a
good jump right there.
No signals for me, huh?
I just did the Morse code.
I tapped my hand.
OK, I'm I'm going to go 9092.
Boom one.
Of the highest rated Espinosa
cigars on the half wheel
website.
Really.
Yep.
What do we have for him?
Johnny got him.
I win again.
Well, as the winner of today's
contest, Michael, you need to go
deal with the guys crawling
around in the catacombs.
No call, Greg.
Greg already spoke to Ryan.
Oh, perfect.
Yep.
All right, that is the end of
the show.
Anybody have anything else?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, we do.
We have an update to Davidoff.
Davidoff Geek.
Let's call it Davidoff.
Geek.
Davidoff Geek.
We have some names which we're
not going to give out.
Per our sources.
Yes, but but we have more
sources now.
What do?
They rhyme.
With multiple sources.
Multiple sources, yes.
The fun thing is, now that we
have started this, that people
like to tell us more things when
they find things out.
So you know.
Just so you know, I found this.
That's how it works.
Isn't that weird how media
coverage works?
Like if you if you report things
and like, you know.
People get excited that they
know I might know something you
don't know.
Well, they and they know that
they're going to be protected,
right?
It's wild.
Maybe it was Marlon Wayne's that
told us.
Maybe.
Maybe it was Marlon.
Still locked, buddy.
OK, go ahead.
All right, so their alleged
positions are with what we're
going to give out there.
One of them's kind of oddly
specific, though.
OK, all right.
There is a national salesman
level person and a regional
salesman level person and there
was a total of 5.
These are the people that got to
let go.
Yes, yes.
Allegedly.
Allegedly.
So five were cut.
Five were cut, one of them is a
high level sales and the other
one's a regional level sales.
And then there's three more that
exist.
There's three more, not
necessarily salesman.
Those names have not been
devoted.
We have not confirmed their.
Names.
I have a name that is not on the
list.
Yeah, do you?
Want to give that one out?
No, let's not do that either.
That's fine and narrows it down.
Yeah.
So that is where we're at now.
As this story develops, we will
give more information.
Only here.
On Only Here on Cigar Hustlers
Podcast every day at 5:00 AM.
If you feel like being cigar
media and you want to dig a
little bit deeper into this and
maybe report it.
To protect you.
To dab it off or something.
No, we will not let them go do
it.
Oh, I want them to do it, I
thought.
They wanted to.
I thought you wanted them to
tell us.
That's no, that's a crazy.
We'll have you on the show and
we'll use the Voice Changer 5000
and disguise your voice.
No, if you're cigar media, you
should go after this.
This is a story that would.
Be for you and the other media
people.
I think, well, I'm not getting
information from media.
These are just general people.
I know, but that's what I'm
saying.
I thought that's who you were
talking.
To no, no, you didn't say it was
Mel Gibson.
I didn't know.
That's why I asked.
It was Mel Gibson.
Maybe it's Mel Gibson, maybe
not.
I'm gonna say I'm not giving
names.
Yeah.
OK.
All right.
Well, all right, this concludes
today's show. 427 is it?
Yeah, I thought it was 428.
But maybe you're right. 427, I
think 402 eights tomorrow.
All right guys, thank you very
much.
We'll see you tomorrow.
Like and subscribe.
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Show Notes
Today on the show: The U.S. becomes pirates and grabs a massive tanker in a high-seas move, uS floats the idea of checking tourists’ Facebook pages, and—because why not—Marco Rubio apparently has a favorite font. We run through the new “monogamy rankings,” look at fresh U.S. tariffs aimed squarely at cigars, check out JC Newman’s latest humidor creation, and salute Hooten Young for holding the line. Then a quick what’s the score. All that and more on today’s episode.