ACHP 540 Gold, Cigars amd Felonies

Episode Summary

Episode 540 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast opens with Mike Palmer, co-host Mikey and engineer Phil McGuffey counting down to episode 600, celebrating National Hamburger Day, and running through listener comments and upcoming CHPod merch (the BDP 4th of July shirt, new mugs) plus a lighter-and-cutter giveaway that runs across episodes 541–545. They also plug the latest Patreon episode, which featured a review of the 601 Blue 20th Anniversary.

The news block is heavy on crime and absurdity: the FBI's arrest of senior CIA official David Rush, who allegedly had roughly $40 million in stolen gold bars, $2 million in cash and three dozen luxury watches at his home after being issued gold and foreign currency for "operational expenses." That leads to a long riff on gold bar sizes and values, non-extradition islands, and an impromptu live phone call to Greg, who cheerfully confirms he'd bail Phil out at $20K, $50K, $100K and even $200K — and explains why getting out of jail before facing a judge dramatically improves your odds. Other stories include a Nebraska dog that discharged a shotgun inside a truck and wounded a passerby, the Alabama bloodhound Ludivine who wandered into a half marathon and finished 7th (the race is now the Hound Dog Half Marathon), and a federal judge in the 11th Circuit privately reprimanded for an affair with a law enforcement officer conducted loudly in chambers.

Cigar news covers Knoxville, Tennessee's city council vote banning smoking inside bars and music venues effective January 1, 2027 — with cigar shops, vape shops and tobacco retailers exempt — and an Artesano del Tabaco update on three releases: the Viva La Vida Connecticut Lancero (now a 40 ring gauge, $17 MSRP, summer release) following the Churchill, the El Pupo Corona Gorda (6.5x48, Mexican San Andrés wrapper over Nicaraguan binder and filler, medium-bodied), and the teased Oro Corojo, a blend four years in development with A.J. Fernandez and targeted for 2027. The crew jokes about how long blending should really take and the size of A.J.'s rebuilt Estelí facility.

The show closes with "What's the Score," guessing the Halfwheel rating for the La Aurora–made Fernando León 100 Años, a 5 3/4 x 52 Dominican limited edition with a Cameroon wrapper, Dominican binder, and Brazilian, Dominican and Nicaraguan filler. Clues describe creamy nuttiness, wood, pepper, citrus and date alongside mushy, salty, starchy and bitter passages in the middle. Final score: 89, with Mike Palmer taking the win.

In This Episode

1. 01
   Episode 600 Countdown & Merch Update
   The crew counts down to episode 600, teases the BDP 4th of July shirt and new mugs at CHPod.com, and announces a lighter-and-cutter giveaway running episodes 541–545.
2. 02
   Patreon Recap: 601 Blue 20th Anniversary
   A quick plug for the latest hour-long Patreon episode, which included a review of the 601 Blue 20th Anniversary.
3. 03
   CIA Official Arrested With $40M in Gold Bars
   The FBI arrests senior CIA official David Rush after allegedly finding $40 million in gold bars, $2 million in cash and dozens of luxury watches issued as 'operational expenses.'
4. 04
   Calling Greg for Bail Money
   A live phone call to Greg establishes exactly how much bail he'd post for Phil — and why getting out before facing the judge matters.
5. 05
   Dogs Behaving Badly (and Well)
   A Nebraska dog sets off a shotgun in a truck and wounds a bystander, while Alabama bloodhound Ludivine finishes 7th in a half marathon.
6. 06
   Federal Judge Reprimanded Over Chambers Affair
   An 11th Circuit committee finds a federal judge committed judicial misconduct over a loud extramarital affair with a law enforcement officer in chambers.
7. 07
   Knoxville Bans Indoor Smoking in Bars
   Knoxville's council votes 6-3 to ban smoking in bars and music venues starting January 1, 2027, with cigar and tobacco shops exempted.
8. 08
   Artesano del Tabaco: Viva La Vida Lancero, El Pupo & Oro Corojo
   Updates on the $17 Viva La Vida Connecticut Lancero, the San Andrés-wrapped El Pupo Corona Gorda, and the A.J. Fernandez-blended Oro Corojo slated for 2027.
9. 09
   What's the Score: Fernando León 100 Años
   The guys guess the rating on La Aurora's Cameroon-wrapped Fernando León 100 Años limited edition, which lands an 89.

Brands & Cigars Discussed

Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.

Transcript

3, 2, 1, Action! Welcome to the Cigar Hustler Podcast episode 540. You guys realize in 60 weeks we will hit 600. In 60 days.

60 days. 60 days. I meant 60 days. Yeah.

60 weeks will be at like 900. 7,000. Yeah. I'm Mike Palmer, your host, and my constant mispronunciations are proof that I am not AI.

Oh. And in engineering today, we have Phil, I don't know anything about any loose monkeys, McGuffey. Hello peoples. Nothing about loose monkeys.

You have to wait and see. Okay. I'm starting to tie the insults into the story. So you're 12 weeks away.

So, within this year, we're going to hit 600. Right. And at that point... 12 weeks by the end of summer.

And by that point, John McTavish will be behind over... 200. Over 200. He'll definitely be over 100.

He's already at like, he's only on 449 or something. Right, if he's watching one a day and we're doing five a week, or one at one a week, and we're doing five a week, he's never going to... He's never, it's never going to happen. Never.

Actually, he gets so far behind that the like the coop show that we posted, he would be watching it for the first time. The original one. Yeah. Yeah.

Three PCAs in the future. He'll be covering COVID when we're well past the pandemic. COVID shows. All right.

This is my co-host, Mikey. It's my favorite holiday. It's Hamburger Day. Oh, God.

I love it. Yeah, you screwed up. I didn't even know. I'm very excited.

I didn't mess that up. He did. He was supposed to have hamburgers. Oh, and I don't even have lunch today.

Well, it's not lunch yet. It's not. You probably can't get hamburgers this early. Oh, yeah, you know, that's probably true.

By the way, today's Antoine Reed's birthday, even though this comes out a day later. Happy belated birthday, Antoine. Now we have to do everybody's birthday. No, we don't.

I just threw it out there. All right. Happy birthday, Mr. Reed.

I like Antoine. I like him, too. Yeah, he works hard. He does.

He does. He's got a nice show, too. Who do you feel like it's obligatory to wish a happy birthday to? Uh, Boots.

Nobody? But, I mean, we talked about doing it at one point, and we're like, well, then we gotta do everybody, if we miss somebody, they're gonna get mad. Yeah, so this is just kinda casual, I saw it, and I'm like, oh. All right.

And for everybody else that listens, happy birthday. There you go, covered. There you go. Forever.

For all of eternity. All of eternity. If you say that I've never mentioned you on your birthday, I want you to go back to episode five. So go back to episode 540 and realize that I acknowledged you and happy birthday.

Oh, it's so nice of you to wish everybody happy birthday. Everybody happy birthday. Everybody happy birthday. On today's show, FBI has arrested a high-level CIA operative.

In trouble. We've all heard of the watchdog, but have you heard of a gun dog? Have not. Marathons have gone to the dogs.

Don't talk to my girlfriend. Shh! Judge, they can hear you. And then in cigars, we have an update to a smoking ban.

If someone is getting three new cigars, then as always we end the show with an industry favorite game, industry's favorite game, what's the, hello, any time I say it, we all three have to do it. Hey, you know what I'm going to tell you? Because your mic has gotten up higher and higher. Now is it too high?

Yeah, now it's so high that it actually picks up more of the echo, and like when you just turned a little bit there. Oh, I hit it? I heard you so much better. Well, this jacket has a thinner lapel, so I went higher to catch more of the lapel.

got it let me hear you hello oh yeah hello hello yeah well i won't turn that way much but don't do that don't go don't look over here don't look over there all right well you can look over there but you gotta do it like this hello i can see over there all right the industry's favorite game what's the score oh but first mikey how do we get some of that ch pond swag and what's coming up So many things. So many things. So many things are going on right now. We have so much free time.

The stress levels have been at an all-time high. Yes. However, we're starting to make some progress. I'm very excited about all these things.

com, for starters. BDP, 4th of July shirt, accepting some pre-orders. We have 10 of them sold so far. We need five more.

And he's going to be in overalls. com and if you our patreon just so you know our patreon that came out yesterday it was a good patreon yeah it's about an hour long yeah yeah it was and we covered some good stuff we did we reviewed the 601 uh 20th not la bomba 601 blue 601 Blue. 20th Anniversary. No phone call yet.

So check that out. No, he hasn't listened yet. He hasn't listened yet. Still early.

He hasn't listened yet. Unless he's out of town, then he's in somebody's car. No, he's in town. He's just drinking his coffee this morning, getting his act together.

Have you already heard from him today, but don't know about that? What's that? Have you already heard from him today, just didn't mention the show? No.

Wow. No. The cameras? You checked the cameras and saw he was drinking coffee?

Can you get coffee? Yeah, I have the cameras in his house. I got you. Some comments from our previous show.

I actually just saw one from the Pete Johnson clip. Oh, wow. " I thought it was a really good interview. I highly recommend checking that out.

We need to line another one up. It's been a while. Yeah. Looks like Florida Man's hitting some shorts.

That's very nice of you. Well, we're getting some more short traction. Okay, from episode 538, David Hasselhoff said, David Hoffman says, "Phil thought Palmer was winking at him this whole time. Phil appeared to be drooling over the retrohale on the blood medicine.

" There was a winking signal that I was giving you for something, I don't remember what it was. But it wasn't for Phil. No, oh, maybe he thought Phil, or he's saying Phil thought I was winking at him when I was winking messages to you. And Phil appeared to be drooling over the Retro Hill on the blood medicine.

Were you having a blood medicine a couple days ago? No, but we talked about it as a cigar that came out. Ah, the new size. Yeah.

Yes. Yes, and I must have said something and he went, oh, yes. You know, the way he does. I guess.

T-Money, I totally thought Phil was going to ask how the hell, how a hell cat, how the hell a cat was elected president. What? I don't know. What happened there?

All right, guys, I think we're all having strokes. No, but I mean, I don't remember. If that was two shows ago, I don't remember. Yeah, but like, I barely remember yesterday.

Here's the problem. The problem is, this, this podcast, we've done this, we're doing this one earlier today. Yes. So, today's going to be a Mike's comments haven't come in, so this is like between the two.

And I'm not awake yet. Yeah, and my eyes aren't awake. Usually I'm still sleeping. Well, you need to get it together, all of you.

Yeah. All right, just him, just him. Thank you. Yeah, he's not normally up this early.

No. Yeah. You look like you just rolled out of bed. Yeah.

Does he have slippers on? Oh, flip-flops. Awesome. Yeah.

Jesus. I guess that's all I got, because then I got right into the team money thing. So, yeah, this is the problem with doing an early podcast. All right, we'll wait till later.

Show's over. Or if you could just read the comments later, we could clip it in. Okay. I'll leave that one camera set up.

Okay. If you want to hear your comment on the show, comment on our YouTube page. We should probably launch a giveaway. We never gave away the lighter cutter set.

You want to do that? We can give it away again, I guess. Come up with a better idea. I think that's a better idea.

My idea just sort of fizzled. Well, here's the problem. It can't be extremely intricate. Right.

A little too much involved. Yeah. You know, it has to be, it's got to be kept super simple. So yeah, let's do that.

Okay. Not on this episode, not on 5:40, but on 5:41. If you comment below, all the way up to 5:40, 5:41, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. One, two, three, four, five-forty-five, all the way, five-forty-one to five-forty-five, which is a full week.

Okay. Monday through Friday. You'll be entered to win the ashtray. We'll bring that in tomorrow so you can show it off.

No, lighter cutter. Yeah, whatever, lighter cutter, sorry. The lighter cutter. It's the same thing.

Well, no, ashtray's bigger. No, no, it works. That's fine. We're gonna give that away to kind of get things going and we'll start that tomorrow.

Alright. So check that out. Patreon. Like and subscribe.

Did I say like and subscribe? Nope. Make sure you like and subscribe. Hit it.

Wherever you're viewing or listening to this show. You said hit it in my head. I heard a song starting up. It's a tune to make a thing go right.

Yeah, that's exactly what I heard in my head. That's the start of that one. Okay. Alright.

I think we're ready for the show. You ready to Are you ready for the show now? I think we're ready. All right, we're ready for the show now.

We're ready. The FBI has arrested senior CIA official David Rush. Yes, in trouble. What did they arrest him for?

Oh, Mike has done, the show's over. He's fixing something. Something's wrong. Uh-oh.

Let me keep going. Okay. Go ahead. Well, I asked a question.

Oh, that sounds so much better. All right, senior CIA official David Rush has been arrested for something. What has he been arrested for? Um, it's gonna be something This is the FBI has arrested the CIA Oh, so then he's doing something with China Are we playing for something?

He's doing something with China Yes, you get a Red Bull He's leaking intelligence to another country, and I'm gonna say it's China Alright, Phil? No, he stole gold. I get the Red Bull Oh, he already read the story. They discovered nearly 40 million dollars in stolen gold bars at his home during a Yeah.

That's a lot of bars. That's a lot of bars, man. How do you acquire the gold bars? Oh, let's read on.

Yeah. According to investigators, the CIA had provided Rush with gold bars in foreign currency between November and March for what were described as work-related operational expenses. Oh. Michael, I have some work-related operational expenses.

Let me get you some gold bars. Some gold bars. However, officials later discovered that a large portion of those assets could not be accounted for. So if he could account for them.

Yes, if he could explain what he did with the 40 million dollars in gold bars. Hey, hey, hey, hold on. Yeah, no, listen. I had to bribe a lot of Chinese people.

Here's my spreadsheet. Here's my spreadsheet. During the search of Russia's residents, federal agents allegedly recovered approximately 40 million in gold bars, along with around 2 million in cash. Because, you know, it's hard to move gold bars.

Mm-hmm. Authorities also seized nearly three dozen luxury watches believed to be connected to the investigation. I'm sure. No, no, these are mine.

Yeah. I didn't buy these with your gold. No, this is part of my co-op or whatever. My operation.

Part of my operational expenses. Here's what I'm trying to do is I'm trying to make myself look like I'm extremely rich by becoming extremely rich. And I'm trying to create this persona. Oh my God.

We've done so well lately with just the watch. That way people think. Let's do early phones. I have a comment on our...

Yeah, a comment just came in. I have our first comment. Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

And I'm going to, we're going to bring that up once you're done with this. All right. The case is quickly gaining national attention due to the scale of the alleged theft in Russia's senior position within it inside the intelligence community. Federal investigators are continuing to examine financial records, asset transfers, and potential connections tied to the missing funds.

At this time, officials have not released additional details regarding possible charges beyond the arrest, and the investigation remains ongoing. I saw another story related to this where he also faked his resume when they hired him 20 years ago. Yeah. Something like that.

This guy's awesome. Yeah, what's super crazy is he just found this out because it's not like he just made like one big hit, you know, yesterday. Right. Like, this has been going on for time.

He's been amassing the gold bars over time. Yeah. So much to a point where he got lazy about it. Right.

He assumed they'd never, they're never gonna find out. Yeah. I'll just stack 'em up in the back bedroom. Right.

That's my guess. Like, he probably started with something light. Right. The watches, maybe.

And then figured out how to, no, it was before that. They don't have watches in a safe. He figured out how. They did too.

He figured out how to fluff it, like, okay, this is gone now, and like, this is now off the board. I made it look like it's gone here as an expense. Right. And now I have a watch.

And like, it probably took like four or five years of doing that. And then it got to a point where he was like, no one's looking at me. Right. Give me just you know and then he just starts rolling out requisitions for gold bars you sure you need more yeah yeah yeah it's going well it's going really well I make more we're making a lot of progress here I'm getting a lot of Intel and then and then in order to like to be probably had to start fabricating Intel that's probably we got popped yeah he probably did the chat GBT not the clock I was gonna say you know chat GBT and he said help me create a whole in-depth thing and then it would became so repetitive because it's the same shit over and over again that they're like wait a second yeah sometimes I have to tell it we've I haven't done this already.

Right. Hey dude. Oh, yeah, you're right. My bad.

Sometimes it says my bad. I know. Oh, yeah. Well, when it destroyed our site, it was like, I'm so sorry.

They're very apologetic. And you're right. I should have done better. I'm like, yeah.

At least it's sincere. Right. I don't think it's sincere. It doesn't have emotions.

It knows you want to hear that stuff. It's a robot. Can we just point something out here? Yeah.

Sure. When did we start paying anybody? I don't care if we're in the government or anything. or anything with gold bars.

Oh, well, he was. Well, yeah, I mean, no, you're good. Go ahead. Spies like to operate with gold bars.

Yeah, things that aren't traceable. Don't they have numbers on them? I was going to say, I think they have serial numbers. Yeah.

Do they have serial numbers? I think they do. I don't think there's some guy torn in a mold somewhere. Yeah, he took these out of the reserve.

Out of Fort Knox? No, I don't think it was Fort Knox, but it was like a reserve that they have. He had to requisition these for something. " Right.

" Right. All right, just sign this piece of paper, Russ, you'll be fine. We never went into Fort Knox, right? We never went in to go look?

I don't know. To see if there's, see if $4 million is missing? That was, no, that was, remember, that was one of the things Trump was on? " Yeah, you can't go in there, it's empty.

All right, let's move. It's an illusion. Check out this island. Phil, could you look up how much a gold bar is worth?

Oh, um, right now? Yes. Mikey and Greg would know. Like one ounce?

I don't know how big, no, how big is a regular Fort Knox gold bar? I don't think these are little, are these little gold bars? Yeah, no, no, no, they're little, they're like this. Oh, the ingots type thing.

Yeah. Oh, I'm picturing the big, like a big fucking big. Yeah, the big adult sized gold bars. Here you go.

Treasure Island. Yeah, that's why he's got them stacked up in the back bedroom. All right, never mind. It's a small one, though.

I'm just curious, how many gold bars was 4 million? Like a Hershey Golden Nugget? You're thinking like standard one ounce bar? Yeah.

I guess that makes more sense. That'd be a lot of bars. 40 million? 4 million.

No, no, no. You said 40. Oh, is it 40? Yeah.

I'm going back. 40 million in gold bars and 2 million in cash. Oh, it is. 40 million gold.

Yeah, 2 million. And around. They got tired of counting. 8 million.

So it's only 40 of those. Well, less, but yeah. Roughly. So you think he got the Mac Daddy ones?

Well, it's a lot easier that way. You don't have to have as many. The one-ouncers are worth somewhere between 4,500 and 4,700, which is the most popular size for individual buyers. He'd have to steal a pallet of those.

83 million yes and what's what's even crazier about this story is why did you keep stealing the gold like it was you know a couple A couple million, not enough? Yeah, because look. Yeah, it's 40. He's got 40 sitting around.

Like no one's coming. Right. " Yeah. But at 40, I mean, where do you have enough?

You don't. It's gotta be enough at some point. No. There's no line.

And not only that, but then he still worked there. Like, I'd disappear. He never hit his mark. It's hard to move 40 million dollars at one time.

Not when they're gold bricks. Well, sure it is. You gotta put those in a car? It'll be too heavy.

That's going to be too heavy. 83 million per? It'll be like Die Hard 3. They're going to need the dump trucks.

I'm sure there's a buyer out there on the black market or whatever. Yeah, he's got the Kinect. He's part of the CIA. That's how we got the 2 million.

He started liquidating. Maybe he's in the middle of liquidating. That's like 22, 23 bricks. Yeah.

40 million. Right. If it was the 400-ouncers. Right.

That ain't bad. No. That's easy to move. I would've stopped at four bricks.

At four? And I would've left the FBI or CIA. He's FBI or CIA, whatever one he's in. He's CIA.

And I would've moved to a... Well, you can't leave the CIA. They just put a star out? Yeah, they put a star up on the board.

Yeah. And he's done. And he's done. They're not gonna kill him over bricks.

Over $40 million? Yeah. They kill for less. Allegedly.

Don't come after me. Not for bricks. Not for money. Not for money?

No. Well, we don't know what he did with the money. Well, that's allegedly, yeah, true. I would buy an island.

Well, that's what I was saying. That's what I was saying. He could go to an island that has non-extradition or something. That's what I would have done.

Start your own country. Yeah. No, no. My island is non-extradition.

Sorry. And then they just said, I mean, it's CIA. They'll just come in and take you and move you where there is extradition. They could do that?

They can do whatever they want. They're CIA. It's true. Look, we just took a leader out of a country in the middle of the night.

You think they can't take you off your own island? That guy is way different than the brick guy. Not that it's CIA. All right, moving on.

We done making fun of the CIA again? Before they come knocking on the door over there? Well, he has to do the comment. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to guess. Let's guess who it is, Palmer, before you read it. I already saw it.

All right, you can guess. Comes in on my phone. You get three guesses. If you don't get it, you owe me two Red Bulls to offset the one that you just acquired by cheating.

I did not cheat. And T-Money? No. Ruckus.

No. Is it your mother? God. No.

I figured she'd comment on her face. First of all, we have not seen Ruckus. Mr. Weiss.

Weiss. What is his last name? Weiss? Weiss?

I don't know who that is. CW? Yeah. Nope.

You owe me a Red Bull. There's one. I already got that one. @brucecox8216 says, "Battered animals always have a negative reaction to quick movements for self-preservation.

The camera must have the PTSD. When I picked up the remote, and I did this, and you did a "ah". Yeah, I thought you were throwing something. That means that you got that on camera, him going "ah".

Yeah. Nice. Yeah. Turn the air on, it's getting hot.

It's true. Have you been beaten? Were you beaten as a child or something? Bullied.

Bullied? By who? I don't remember the kid's name. I was smaller.

Not a relative. Someone at school? I mean, I could see that. Sometimes your mouth would probably get you in trouble.

You know, I don't remember exactly the reasons, but that makes sense. That tracks. How old were you? Let's unpack this.

Way back. Don't bring up hurtful memories, Michael. I've had to push way, way, way down. Obviously don't, because I can't pick up a remote like this without you being terrible.

Well, the corner of my eye, so you go like this, that is a throwing position. I've never, you've known me for 20 years. I'm not saying you're throwing a brick of gold at me, but I mean, it could have been a sock. I don't know.

It could have been just something to, you know, set me off when this, when I'm talking. So he used to put bricks and socks. That was not, right, like in the red, what was it going, they beat the kid with the sock and the soap. Oh, that's a...

That was not the appropriate episode. Code red. That was not the appropriate episode to throw something at you. And by the way, you did a great job editing the whole thing out.

Oh, the whole thing's gone. You never even know. Nope. A few good minutes.

Nope. I get backing it up, like, nah, that's still, then they're going to think something's missing. Let's go back a little. Okay, right here.

Yep, it was very clean. Yep. So, but no, I would never. Come on.

You throw cigars at me all the time. Yeah. Leaves. I throw leaves at you.

I wish. Who knows? It could have been a water balloon. Why are you complaining about throwing cigars at you?

If I throw cigars at you, that's a present. Yeah. That's not a... You know what?

You don't have to throw cigars at him anymore. You can throw them at me. Okay. I threw one at you yesterday and it was a disaster.

I tried to catch it. Too much light in my eyes. There was a lot of light. CD lamp.

All right, moving on. We're moving on. Police respond to a report of a shotgun blast at a convenience store. Sounds like the opening of a countless American crime movie.

But when cops in Nebraska responded to a recent such call, they found an unusual culprit. Who did you find, Boots? Who was it? I'm going to guess it's a dog because that's what you said in the beginning.

Oh, he's paying attention today. Oh, maybe his brain cells are like old. We've got to catch him in the morning. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

I did eat breakfast this morning, so I always say that helps you. What'd you have up early? I had two eggs, bacon. Oh, you had like a legit breakfast.

He woke up, did like a belly rub like this, and then I had to make the girls breakfast the last day of school. They wanted breakfast. Wait a second, and you made this breakfast? Yeah.

No one made it for you? No. I pictured poor pregnant Tia up in the kitchen. Yeah, Tia or your new servant next door.

You know, the car's been different every day this week. Does she have like a revolving source of cars like Greg? The car? Oh, you're talking about the new girl?

She parks in the same spot every day, but there's been almost a different car. Are you running through new assistants? No, no, no. Are you just burning through them?

No, I don't know if she has, I'd never see her car. Yeah? Well, no, because you're not here. This is where the work happens.

Well, when she's at the house in the morning, when she's making the breakfast, he's never outside. She just makes it, cleans everything up, and then leaves. I only know it's her car, because there's a sign in the back window, she used to be a realtor or something. No, she still is, she's on like some committee for Florida.

Oh, and the punishment was you have to work for APS? No, you know, it was kind of funny. Is she a spy? I think she might be.

Might be a spy. It was kind of funny when she wanted to work for us, she was like telling us about it. " It's a total investigation. You'll be an investigator, man.

Yeah, you're done. They're gonna find out. I just want you to know. Whatever you're up to.

You're undocumented workers. Yeah, whatever you're up to, they're gonna get to the bottom of it. Fake permits pulled in certain counties. Hey, listen.

com, because we're gonna need bail money for Phil. No, we're not. Well, we gotta get him out. I appreciate that.

Oh, alright, fine. But I'd probably call Greg. Yeah, Greg's the one you call if you need bail money. Yeah.

Everybody knows that. Greg ain't bailing you out. You're the one you call when there's a body. Greg would bail you out.

Yeah. Yeah. Or you need an alibi. Okay.

I agree with that. But I'm also going to tell you that, look, the reason why Greg has the money is because he doesn't use the money. You know what I mean? Well, for Bailey, it depends on the person.

I mean, that's how he met his wife. Oh, come on. Not in jail. No, yeah, let's not explain it either.

Hold on one second. Listen, this is going to be a little poppy, but I'm doing this. It is what it is. Are you calling Greg?

Call Greg? It's the worst hangar. Call on Greg? Yeah.

He's trying to see if you would bail me out. I can't bail me out. Moment of truth. They've been electrocuted.

Is he even awake? He's here. Yeah. Hey, listen, you're on the podcast.

This is going to be very brief, okay? If Phil, you know who Phil is, correct? Yeah. Okay.

If Phil went under some investigation at his He's a place of business and he got arrested and bail was set at $20,000. Would you bail him out? Fast. Yes, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg.

And you would pay for it. You'd cover that and then you'd expect him to pay you back? Well, he would be able to pay me back because I would make sure that he winds up being in front of the judge. You get the money back when you go in front of the judge.

Oh, so you don't have to pay him back. Oh, okay. All right. All right.

So there you go. Well, find out what the limit is. It's $50,000. same person same person yes yes okay keep going 100,000 wow jesus what did i do same person same person yes yes don't try to check greg's pockets you're checking his pockets okay one last time one last time last one same person 200,000 oh my god yes yes wow wow greg greg Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg.

What is the cap? It's... The cap is the amount of money I have access to within fucking 48 hours. You do understand that if you go to jail, your probability of being found not guilty is significantly higher if you're out of jail.

If you go in front of the judge wearing the jumpsuit, you're in deep shit. If you have the ability to bail out and then present your case, you will wind up having a much better opportunity for beating it. That's interesting. So, like, the first thing you do when you go to jail is you get the fuck out of jail.

Okay. All right. Greg's my guy. He sounds like he's such a professional about this.

Isn't that weird? He has a rare set of skills. Yeah. I don't know what that is.

It's very odd. Greg does. That's very odd. All right.

Thanks, Greg. Thank you very much, Triple G. Goodbye. I just want you to know that if I'm going to jail, I'm pushing the limit.

It's gotta be like a million. Something that he's gotta... That he can't get? Only because I want him to think out of the box.

" Oh, right. Right? However-- That's what he does here, though. However, he may leave me there so that he can acquire all of it.

Oh, yeah. I don't know. There's nothing I can do. You need to write down somewhere that I get it if you're incapacitated.

Yeah. Well, someone's got to take care of my family. That means not alive. Unalived?

I said incapacitated. Mm-hmm. Non-reachable. Where Greg just starts signing his name on stuff.

I don't know how we got on that topic, but that was great. That was great. I don't remember. Yeah.

The limit is how much money he can get. Wow. Yeah. And that's for Phil.

Brian. Brian, baby. Yeah. Well, I was hoping he would say no at a certain level.

Me too. Then you throw in a different name. You throw in my name. Yeah.

And then he just goes, oh, man. I knew Greg. I knew Greg would do it. We've had this conversation before.

That's why he's under investigation upstairs. No, no, no, no. He's like, hey, if this kind of happened. Just say, hypothetically, if I were to get arrested, how much money would you spend to get me bailed out?

What would you leverage? No, no, that's not how the conversation went was, is, hey, I was like, yo, if anything ever happened, could I call you? He goes, yeah, he's like, well, my brother's the one that you call for the body, and then I'm the one that you call for the bail money. I'm like, how much bail?

I did the same thing you did. I was like, how much bail money? You know, like, where, like, where, like, where do I know not to call Greg? Bail is set at $250,000, like, oh, no, it's done.

Greg, I need you to chip in. Tell my wife, call Greg. Yeah. Call Greg.

Right. Just tell him the price. Hmm. Yeah, if you want bail money from me, uh, pfff.

Yeah, Mike, you don't have any money. You're gonna rot. I got news for you. She's strong and has a big shovel.

Right. She's strong and has a big shovel. That's the only tool at this house, is a shovel. Oh, nice.

An unusual culprit, it was a dog! Local TV station News 2 reported the police in the town of Scotts Bluff were called out to a local store recently after reports of a blast involving a shotgun. Upon arrival, they found a truck with a blast damage in one of the doors and a woman who had been struck in the arm by a pellet from a shotgun. Apparently had birdshot in it.

However, investigations showed a canine cause behind the shooting. When it was revealed, the blast happened as the vehicle had pulled up to the store. As the dog had been moving from one side of the back seat to the other, somehow the dog had triggered the shotgun, which had a live round chamber. Well, you don't want to carry a shotgun in a chamber, right?

Damaging the vehicle and striking a female passerby. The victim was taken to hospital, though not seriously injured. It is illegal in Nebraska to drive with a loaded shotgun in your vehicle. Okay.

That's why you blame it on the dog. It's illegal. It wasn't me. It was the dog.

It was Fido. Fido back there. He's very angry. Yeah.

I was at the store to get his cookies. I like that, to make matters worse, like the dog didn't shoot its owner, it shot a random person. Yeah, somebody walking by. That is weird.

And he just nicked her. So the dog's a bad shot. Yeah. Well, I mean, it had to go through the car.

Don't make excuses for the dog's bad marksmanship. Bad marksmanship. We've been working on this for weeks there, Fido. You're supposed to shoot better.

I'm surprised Birdshot went through the car. Yeah, me too. That means the barrel had to be up against the... Right up against the...

Yeah. And he's very excited walking back and forth. How many dogs do you have now? 75, 80?

Just two. We have two. You have two. Two's the line for us.

We had three, and it's too much. Three is two. We had three. Ruckus.

Ruckus, he has passed. Yeah. And it was, I mean, even though he was a little dog, three is too much. Three is just too much.

Yeah. Okay. So the two dogs' names are? Dempsey.

Whiskey and Dempsey. Correct. Okay. Of those two dogs, which dog do you think would be more capable to shoot a person?

In this exact circumstance? No. Just personality-wise. Oh.

Are they, like, fighting off an intruder? No, no, just, you know, randomly shot somebody, bang, yeah, that'd probably be whiskey. You think it'd be whiskey? Yeah, well, he's younger, he's more rambunctious, and, yeah, he would just, hey, pfft!

Dempsey's getting older, there's not a lot of running as much. We don't run as much anymore. We don't run as much anymore. Okay.

And what about you? Do you think your dog is capable of shooting somebody? Uh, no. It's the cat.

The one-eared cat. I was getting to that, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You think the cat would shoot somebody? Yeah, I wish he would, so that way he can go to jail and never come back. He's a street cat, odds are he has shot somebody. Yeah.

No, if he went to jail, he would just call Greg. No. Yeah. Not calling Greg.

Yeah, no, the cat would be out. I almost spit up my drink, that was funny. The cat would be out, that way it could present its case in a full suit, not in the orange jumpsuit. Don't they bring you a suit?

I mean, in the movies on TV, they usually bring the guy a suit? No, they don't do that. Oh, I like that he knows that. Yeah.

That's ridiculous. Have you ever seen these guys on TV, like when they're doing the big cases and stuff? Well, I just assume they're, you know, the attorneys that get assigned to you for free don't provide suits. Well, was Diddy in a suit?

No. Diddy wasn't in a suit? Yeah, he was in an orange jumpsuit. That was it.

Yeah. Well, for him, that might be better. He's probably not getting out than, you know, some type of silk suit. By Greg's statistics, he's not getting out.

He's not getting out. Oh, yeah. He's like, I'm sober now. Well, you're in jail.

Has he been sentenced? I don't know. I think he did. Yeah, it was like two years or something.

Yeah, so then it's too late, he can't get out until his time is up or he gets out for good behavior. I wonder if there's more things there, like more trials and stuff. Runs out of baby oil. He's out of baby oil.

Well, yeah, no, there was more investigations going on. Ongoing? Oh, more people are popping up? Yeah, yeah, yeah, he baby oiled me too.

So much baby oil, so much baby oil. Okay. You know, they've outlawed baby oil in prisons. Really?

Have they? I saw that the other day. Again, I read way too much. Did you really?

They outlawed it in prisons? No longer. I mean, they used to allow it, but not anymore. Too many freak offs lately.

Well, I guess there's a way you can rig up a thing to heat water for coffee and tea and stuff in your cell. Yeah. So they pour baby oil in the hot water, and then if they douse you with it, it burns more and it's harder to get off because it's... What's the oil?

Yeah, it's the oil. They said your skin just peels off at that point. So no more baby oil? You'd think they would outlaw the tea and coffee heater.

Look, man, it's got to be tough in there, you know? We've got to have our tea. Yeah, I think that that's reasonable. I don't know.

I don't know. Why not? I would like one of the softer, nicer jails with the Starbuckses and the stuff you can get. - Where you can just order before you approach the line?

- Yeah, the cantina has a Starbucks in it or something. - Well, you gotta be super rich for that. - The cantina, that's what it's called where you go get your stuff, your soaps and your shampoos and your shoes. - I thought that was like some, I know nothing about prison or jail, but I thought that you were referencing an actual name of a prison or jail that legit has a Starbucks.

- Oh, called the... - No, there are some. - I'm sure, yeah, I'm sure there's some type of, probably federal. That's where the movie stars go and stuff.

No way, yeah. There's no way. Like a federal pin probably would. Yeah, when the lady from Full House went, when she went to prison, her-- Uncle Jesse's wife?

Yeah, her prison at a Starbucks. That's where I read it. Is there a prison with a Starbucks in it in the United States? Well, I don't know if it's in it, but you can order-- Do you want me to use chat GPT to answer that?

I sure do. Oh, that was your, I was like, is my phone talking to me? You're still Bluetooth, apparently. I sure do.

There is a Starbucks located near a prison in the United States. The Utah State Prison in Draper, Utah, is adjacent to a Starbucks known for its distinctive prison-like architecture. This Starbucks has been nicknamed... Okay, so it's not in there though.

No, but they have like Starbucks products. Like you can buy Starbucks at Publix. When you go... I don't think there's a barista in there just waiting on, you know, Prisoner 442 to come pick up his latte or something.

It really just depends on, like, your sentencing. Like, if you got guys are in for life, like, it's really like the movie "Life". Like, you don't go to a regular prison with just, you know, cell blocks, blah, blah, blah. Like Goodfellas?

Like a prison cell block? Yeah, no. Yeah, well, no. It's like you go to, like, farms and stuff.

Like, working farms. Like, they have stuff like that. You know, he always sounds relatively convincing. I don't know.

There's one in Brevard County. You can see it right from 95. It's a farm? Yeah, it's right by the shooting range, to the left of it.

Oh, I know where the shooting range is. What do they grow? I don't know. It's things.

I don't know. They have bunkhouses and everything. I mean, you can see the thing to the left of it. Oh, the cowboys?

I'm going to go to cowboy prison. Like a rhinestone cowboy boy. You think a bunkhouse is called a bunkhouse because it was in Yellowstone? Yeah, it's like Yellowstone.

That's where you go when things go bad. You go to the bunkhouse. They keep showing that clip on TikTok. I still haven't watched Dutton Ranch yet, by the way.

Oh, it's good. I watched the first episode last night. How was it? it was good does rip beat the crap out of somebody because that's all i really not yet not yet he's trying not to be a bad guy oh i like i like that they enter they're from what i see in the first episode they're trying to integrate his son more the adopted one yeah yeah they're giving him a storyline he's gonna get in trouble it's the the weird part is well he already has one yeah um It's the same kid from when he was a little fat kid?

Yeah. He's just grown up? He's grown up now. Yeah, he's just tall, slender...

He's not slender. He's thin. Compared to a fat kid. He's like Rip.

He's like thick. No, he's not that big. Because they think he's... Do you think he has an assistant?

They think he's an adult. Well, because he looks older and he's got a part of a beard. I don't think he looks 21 though. Okay.

But I mean, they play that off in the thing that he looks like an adult. Somebody has him bite here for them. Hmm. Okay.

We'll stop talking about that. Spoiler. He's already had to get rid of a dead body, but he didn't kill it. Ah.

His son did. No, no. He found it on the property. You're going to tell them the whole episode.

All right. I didn't like how they did it with the flashback. Right. Okay.

All right. I'll watch. Maybe I'll watch this weekend. Yeah, they're up to...

Is it episode three or four? Yeah, three. Three. Okay.

Next episode? What else? By the way, I got another comment. Oh.

Ding. Ding. Can you make a ding? Phil, can you go ding?

Ding. Oh, look, a comment came in. Oh, it's Ruckus. I know, it's @Rookscodings.

"No quilt trip here. I just like to support my friends. " Maybe it's just giving them gifts? I guess, I don't know.

Yeah, he's referencing the cups. Oh. Gotcha. Thank you.

It's no guilt trip here. Thank you. Not guilt trip. We're guilting him or he's guilting us?

No, you guys guilt for... Oh, I got you. Ah, I see. Well, Phil was doing that.

Well, we appreciate you, Rooks Codings. Of course we do. Yes. It's where you do all our codings.

He actually did our comps? Yeah, he did those. Yep. That's right.

So if you guys want some dope stuff, call up Rooks. So there you go. That's their new slogan, as a matter of fact. If you want some dope stuff, you call Rooks.

You call Rooks. Cut. Alright, when an Alabama bloodhound named Ludivine, L-U-D-I-V-I-N-E, Ludivine? I thought you were going to say Ludacris.

Ludacris? Oh, we'll go with Ludacris. When an Alabama bloodhound named Ludacris was led outside for a quick bathroom break in 2016, Her owner had no idea she'd wander over to the starting line of the Elkmont Half Marathon. Mmm.

I didn't know this was 2016. Okay. Curious and friendly, ludicrous, slipped-- Well, you can scrub this if you want. Oh, it's a cute story.

Okay, 'cause it's already at 40 minutes. Slipped into the crowd just as the race began, and instead of heading home, she trotted off with the runners. What started as a dog's casual stroll turned into a full-blown race effort. She ran through the field, sniffed around, chased a rabbit at one point, then rejoined the pack and kept going mile after mile.

1-mile course, she ended up finishing 7th place! Crushed it. Earning a medal and becoming a local legend overnight. Photos of the floppy-deared accidental athlete went viral, and now the race is called the Hound Dog Half Marathon in her honor.

Ah. It's a neat little story, because the dog shot somebody in the previous story. So we're just offsetting it? Offset, yes.

Yeah. So in spirit, we would like to rename National Hamburger Day. Okay. May 28th to Fat Phil Hamburger Day.

Makes sense. That totally tracks. I don't know how we got there, but I'm convinced. Yeah, we're having technical difficulties.

Palmer's camera doesn't work anymore. All right, we'll skip the next story. The next story is not that good. A lady ran over somebody because she thought he was talking to her lesbian girlfriend.

Ah, apparently it's a long story. We're already at 40 minutes, huh? Yep. Rolling right along.

Rolling. Got another comment? Another comment? Yeah, one just came in here.

All right. From @mightysharp, says, Yes, Phil, you look fantastic. Thank you. Yeah, you have a beautiful skin.

Thank you. And great mask. Thank you. You got to put the mask on so that you can be on the camera.

Yeah, Princess Peach, let's see it. Let's go. There it is. There it is.

Now thank you for your fans. There she is. Thank you. Wow.

My T-Sharp is so nice. I feel like there's a punchline coming. No, there's actually no comment. I just kind of winged that.

Oh, okay. A federal district judge is in hot water after being caught in an extramental affair with a law enforcement officer in judge's chambers. Mm-hmm. Now, apparently, they were being so loud that her staff outside had to tell her to be quiet.

They can hear you. What happened? There was-- A federal judge. Yeah.

They're not saying the name. Okay. They're not saying if it's a man or a woman, as a matter of fact. Okay.

Look at these cannons. Right. Got caught because she was having, or he or she, the judge, was having sex with a high-level, One-level police officer, again, not saying man or woman, in her chambers during work days between cases. What's the problem?

Well, apparently that's frowned upon. Is this too loud? Yes. Okay.

A memo filed on Friday shows a special committee for the 11th Circus, which covers Florida, Georgia, Alabama, issued an order against the judge back in February, finding the judge engaged in judicial misconduct. Okay. I'd have to see a picture of the girl. I looked, they're done, and they're not releasing.

Why do you have to see a picture? I'm just curious. Yeah, right. As long as they're, you know, as long as there's nothing like somebody's married or some crazy shit's going on.

Oh, let's read on. Oh, God. " I hope it's a capital one, girl. " Aren't judges normally old?

No? No. Just the Supreme Court ones are super old. Not all of them.

But she was only, she was giving like a slap on the wrist and said not to do it anymore. And they're not releasing who it was. Okay. All right.

So, a fair no bueno, right? She said, well, she says it's not, or they say it's not true that the staff member who complained is upset because she got a bad review. Oh, it's related to the other guy with the, Wells Fargo or whatever it's at? Yeah, they had made up the accusations in retaliation after being repeatedly chastised for performance issues court records show.

However, a special committee formed a look into the issue and found that the judge's conduct surrounding the affair demonstrated a gross lack of judgment. She must have been ugly. Or she was hot. It could go either way.

A gross lack of judgment? Right. Yeah. Because it says gross?

You think the person's gross? Yeah. Oh, okay. That tracks.

The committee noted that the affair made the judge subject to vulnerable to potential extortion or blackmail. Haters gonna hate. Hey, tell you what, I know you banged that cop, say I'm not guilty. You're gonna have to let me off.

After you're off. Right. I was just gonna say let him off. As such, the committee suggested a private reprimand, and the judge agreed not to oppose the sanction, as well as write an apology letter to the former law clerk Henry Frame from serving as I am very sorry for making too much noise in my office.

Very sorry for the loud sex noise. That's crazy. However, since we've accumulated all this lube from the prisons. The baby oil is no longer allowed in the prisons.

It must be put to use. That's crazy because if you were banging somebody that was married in your office at another establishment, you'd probably go to jail. No, it's not against the law. Why?

That's a public place. It's a private place. It's private, but public. It can't be both.

So if you're banging somebody upstairs in your office, it's not your wife, you think the cop's gonna come and arrest you for that? You're under arrest. Under arrest. For having sex in your office.

What is it, what's the, what's it called when you're, when you have sex? Indecent exposure? No, when you have sex out of, when you're married. Extramatital affair?

No. Well, that's, yeah, that is something, but it's called something else. -It's called something else. -Is it?

-You can have Chargers brought against you. -I don't think so. -Ronnie sent something aggressive. -I know, it's aggressive.

-I like the other day he sent something aggressive, then he had to delete it because he found what he was looking for. This is the show deal again. You didn't do it. Yeah, you didn't get the show deal.

You wanted to make up your own. Oh. We're recording. I know.

That's alright. Alright, Cigar News, unless you have a video. I don't, because we're running so late, I don't have a video. Oh.

Yeah. Well, trying to make up for yesterday. Alright, Cigar News, Knoxville, Tennessee banned smoking inside bars. Here's an update.

Uh-oh. May 27, 2026, the Knoxville City Council voted 6-3 in favor of the new law. It will take effect January 1, 2027. It's a damn shame.

They have banned smoking inside of bars. Oh, my God. Oh, and music venues. This was the first vote.

The second vote will take place on Tuesday, May 26. If approved, the law would outlaw indoor smoking to those venues effective January 1. The ordinance would not restrict smoking inside of cigar stores. Stores.

Adultery. Sorry. Vape shops and other retail tobacco stores. No, no, it's smoking, not adultery.

No, I know, but that's what we were looking for earlier. Oh, he's still sending stuff. 2022, Tennessee law allows for cities to pass additional smoking bans like this. Age restriction venues like bars are one of the exemptions for the state's ban on indoor smoking in public places.

So no more smoking inside at... Tennessee bars. Tennessee bars. Knoxville.

Just Knoxville. Oh, only Knoxville. Yeah, the law allows for specific cities to set up their specific laws. Well, okay.

I don't understand Knoxville. I can understand... It's a city in Tennessee. Yeah, no, no.

I'm saying like, I could understand a city like Nashville, right, like those bars, because there's singers in those bars. And you know, smoke affects singers' vocal chords. You don't think there's singers in Knoxville bars? Not as much as Nashville.

Nashville's where all those celebrity bars are. Yeah, but it's Tennessee, though. That's where all the country western singers go, and if you can't, you know, if you're not quite Nashville, you go to Knoxville. Really?

No. Anyways, I'm not believing you. It's like, uh, it's like AAA ball. Yeah.

They're working their way up. And yes, I made a sports reference, and I'm not sure if it was correct. And like, especially in Knoxville, because do you think bars out there serve food? Yes.

Or do you think they're just bars? Knoxville's a bigger city than Nashville. Isn't that like the, where the state capital is? What is Knoxville?

Knoxville, Tennessee? I'm pretty sure it's Nashville. I don't know. I'll verify for you.

Knoxville is a big city, though. It's probably a long time ago. It's probably neither one of them. Is it Johnson City?

That's where they make the Johnsonville brats. That's where Hootie's from. Hootie and the Bluffers? Capital of Tennessee, Michael?

I scrubbed it by accident. Nashville. It's Nashville. Which city is Nashville?

What city's bigger, Nashville or Knoxville? What city is bigger? Probably Nashville. Nashville is significantly larger than Knoxville.

Nashville is the largest city in Tennessee with a population of approximately 712,000, while Knoxville is the state's third largest city with about 202,000 residents. It's the third largest. It's right up there. There's not a lot of people that live in Tennessee, truthfully.

My family's from Tennessee. What are you trying to say? Yeah, but there's just not a lot of people that live there. My family lives in Tennessee.

You can make fun of your own family. You're from Tennessee? No, we're not from, they moved there. You're the only one in Tennessee.

Alright, Artisnio Del Tobacco has provided an update about three upcoming releases. Two for this year, one for next year. Can we do a press release on cigars we may release in the future, too? Sure.

One of three new, I mean, if this changes, nobody's going to notice. They're not going to go back and go, you know, back in the... There will be one. There will be one.

There will be one. Ah. The Viva La Vida Connecticut Lancero. The company announced a cigar last September alongside the new Viva La Vida Connecticut Churchill.

Mm-hmm. Is there a big difference between a Churchill and a Lancero? Lancero's thinner? Yeah, huge difference.

Huge difference? Yeah. artesino del taco del taco del taco del taco said it pulled in its email list and asked which vitoli would like added to the line we did not get the get to chime in on this the top vote getter was the churchill which is due out this month and the lancero finished second at the 2026 pca convention and trade show the company said the cigar would have an msrp of What? Churchill?

Viva La Vida. Viva La Vida. Viva La Vida del Taco. $17.

Ding, ding, ding, ding! $17, right on the money. Boom. First cigar on a target release date in September.

This week's email has a release date as summer. One other note is that the ring gauge is now listed as 40, opposed to 38. Mmm. 5x48 Vitola that the company describes as medium bodied.

El Pupo uses a Mexican San Andreas wrapper over a Nicaraguan binder and Nicaraguan fillers. No pricing is announced, so what's the price? for the... El Pupo Corona.

El Pupo Corona. 50. $16. Ding, ding, ding, $15.

You guys split it. I don't know, just making it up. They didn't announce the price. I just read that.

Yeah, no, I think it's going to be just below $15. All right, and then finally, the company is teasing a new line, the Oro Corojo Artesano del Tobacco. J. Fernandez.

That is 80% done. Does it take over four years to make a cigar? No. It takes about...

It seems kind of long. It takes about a day. I was gonna say, you said you send me down to do one. I'm not, I don't have four years to spend with time.

Well, you gotta, you gotta understand that there's a lot that has happened before the minute that you walk in that door, right? As far as acquiring the tobacco. Right. Right?

And then putting it in the pallones and the fermentation process and all of those things. Right. So there should be, why does it take you eight, how many? Four years?

Four years. It's been four years and they're only 80% done. Yeah, they could grow tobacco special for this one at this point. Sounds like AJ just kicked the can on it.

Like, ah, these guys won't be back. It's called El Pupo. Yeah, I'm working on that, I'm working on that. Yeah, I'm working on that.

I had a fire, all your stuff burned up. I don't know, you gotta start over, start over. If you stay at my new hotel, it's very nice. I gotta get the, you know, I gotta get the Habano, yeah, we don't, you know, they don't have any right now, we're gonna find the Sumatra, I got Raphael Nudal coming, I gotta give a tour, yeah, like how, what do you want, I'm gonna grow my own, oh, I do, oh, I do grow my own, oh, sorry, only AJ, yeah, it's a process, like to see my coral reef, as long as you're here, no details we're given about the blend, because they don't know what it is yet, no sizes or pricing, but the company said it's targeted release to be 2027.

So they have no clue about their cigar other than when they want to release it. Well, you know, it's a targeted, it's gonna, eh, you know, maybe. They're trying to tease it. You know, like, here, I'm gonna defend them a little bit.

It's like, you try to figure out how you continue to keep your name relevant, I guess, in certain scenarios, and you just gently dropped. Drag the pictures of the Pupo Corona thing out. Let's throw those again. So, you know, obviously, I think that the Pupo is probably the one that's tracked the most, because of the name.

It's the name. Pupi. Maybe. And we talk about it often, because I like the name.

It is a great name. He likes the Pupi. El Pupo. And, you know, Hail Hydra.

If you guys would like me to just voice over El Pupo, you guys can use that. Wait, what cigar did you say, Mike? Hail Hydra. Hail Hydra.

Hail Hydra. It's an octopus. Is it the fist? Is that what they do?

I don't remember. Is that a real cigar name? Hail Hydra? yeah no no oh we that's going to be our new cigar yeah yeah okay we'll be out in four to five years 70 of it's done we're a little behind the pupo people it's a barber pole the barber pole or it might not be a barber pole i'm not sure aj's working on it with us but he said he's real busy with this pupo thing so right what's the size it's a robusto we kind of toro church lance Corona Gordo.

Right. It doesn't matter. It's about as big as your wrist. What's the wrapper?

Tobacco. It's got a tobacco. It's a leaf. It's a leaf.

It's got a leaf on the outside of it. It's a thicker leaf. We're doing a new thing. We're wrapping it backwards.

When you light it, it combusts. It burns well. All the company's lines are made by AJ Fernandez. So, you know, he's very busy.

He is very busy. He is very busy. Mr. Altidus.

Now he has to run that new hotel he just built. Yeah. He has a hotel down there? No, the The headquarters that they have rebuilt or repainted or whatever happens to be after the fire, when I first saw the picture, I thought it was a hotel.

It's huge. Oh, yeah. If flying cars happened. He'll have one first.

Who do you think in Esteli gets the flying car first? AJ? Only AJ. It's definitely AJ.

He gets the flying car. He gets a flying car. Is it a real one or a knockoff, though? No, it's a legit.

Legit. So he can fly over his coral reef and look at it. Yeah. So nice.

Look at all the fish. You know what, maybe you shouldn't go to Esteli because he might not come back. Yeah, you gotta be careful. He doesn't speak English, he won't even know him.

Yes, he does. Yeah, he speaks English. He 100% does. Do you think, or I'm sorry.

I've only had him once. J. J. Fernandez or was his dad?

J. Sr.? J. Sr.?

Yeah, was there a dad involved in this? No. Well, I'm sure he had a father. No, no, no.

I'm sure a father was involved at some point. No, yeah. At some point, there was one. You know, like, like, Padrón, like the, like the generational takeover.

I'm sure there's a good question. I'm sure there's a story there. Yeah. Let's have him on the show.

He, he doesn't like to speak in English. We'll have a translator. Yeah, I'll translate. Oh, great.

That would be so smooth. Yeah. So, as soon as he talks, me gusta. I'll be like, oh, he just said he wants some lobster, let's get it.

He said he wants some lobster. From my reef. Yeah. All right, Matt Boots almost here, we're getting on this helicopter, let's go.

We'll let Matt Boots translate. Yeah. He said he likes a lot of poopy. He says you mount that hog like you would any other hog.

He said his cigars are not AIDS-free, so I don't know that. No, he works with AJ. He works with AJ. He works with AJ, so also AIDS-free.

Right. Also AIDS-free. Yeah, be reasonable. I'm sorry.

Alright, time for the industry's favorite game: What's the score? Pause for charging. No, no, no, you've ruined that bit. Super charging.

You've ruined that bit. But there are the keys there though, for some strange reason. Yeah. Alright, today's cigar from May 27, 2026, Charlie Manado Cigars, Dominican Republic, Limited Edition, La Aurora, Fernandez.

Fernando, León, 100 Anos. Phil? 85. Damn.

84 is where I was going. I was surprised at that number for you. Are you going with 84? Yeah, that was the number I had already decided.

85 is where I go, and I don't know what the cigar is. Cigar Review, the Fernando, León, 100 Anos, 2026, is from the Dominican Republic. Factory's La Aurora, The Rapper's Cameroon, Binder's Dominican Filler, Brazil, Dominican Republic, and Nicaraguan, Length 5 3/4 of 52, it's a round cigar and they smoked free. Jack is calling, there could be a problem.

Did you not answer your phone? No. We'll see if he wants to yell at us about the Patreon. We're good, let's keep it going.

85. 84. Once the bitterness settles down, there's a really unique creamy nuttiness with wood, pepper, and even some sweet citrus and date. Notes that make the cigar surprisingly layered.

85. 84. Clue number two. Construction was excellent overall, with a fantastic burn and draw on most samples, and the final third delivered some enjoyable creaminess.

Black Pepper, Sweet Floral Complexity. Mmm, 86. Damn. 87.

I was gonna go 86, but I was gonna go 87. The profile often becomes mushy, salty, and overly starchy at times, with bitterness and funky earthiness overpowering the more refined flavors throughout much of the experience. 85. 84.

Final thought. Final Thought: While not as noticeable as some of the La Aurora's other cigars, including the Don Fernando No. 4, the Cameroon Wrapper once again shows why it's my favorite wrapper choice. When blended well, I find the Cameroon provides a natural sweetness with a restrained amount of pepper that is different than some of the other sweeter wrappers, like Mexican San Andreas or even a Connecticut Seed, that could be as much about the other tobaccos in the blend as it is.

As it is the wrapper. But cigars like this are why I came to the realization that Cameroon was my favorite. The Fernando León 100 años is a good cigar, though with some minor construction issues and funkiness in the middle section that stop it from reaching the great category. However, it's proof that when La Aurora avoids experimenting with heavier tobaccos, the company is capable of making a full-flavored, nuanced blend.

Friends, when it comes to making cigars with Cameroon, La Aurora has long been one of my top three factories in cigars like this show, why? Ooh, it's a long final thought. I like funkiness. Mmm.

That was it, I'm done. You can, it's the final score. Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Boop-boop-a-doop-boop. Actually, I think I've smoked this.

Did you use the carrier there? I think it's a brand new cigar. It's a brand new shoe. Oh, no.

Didn't know. Hmm. That's like his thing. I think I smoked this.

Well, I remember you guys used to carry a Cameroon La Aurora. Mm-hmm. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Eighty-six. It's a good number. Eighty-seven.

You went the right way. Eighty-nine. Really? Eighty-nine?

Yes. I Reign Supreme. They're really working well now. That was fantastic.

Yeah, I am covered in sparkers. All right, that's all I got. I got nothing else. Hey, hey, not too loud.

Yeah, double, double. Not too loud, not too loud. That's my celebration? Yeah, I took yours.

I did mine and I took yours. Oh, you took yours. Yeah, double, double celebration. I will not let you win tomorrow.

Double Celebration. Finish him! Finish him! Okay.

Anything else to add? No. Okay. Me?

Like and subscribe wherever you're viewing or listening to this show. com for all your CHPod swag. Be on the lookout. Mugs are coming.

BDP, 4th of July shirt. Five more equals overall yada yada overall. Chafing, chafing guy. com, Us Cigar Hustlers Podcast.

We just released a really good one. We just released a really good one. Bing bong. And thank you so much.

We hope we provide a great edutainment for you today. All right, guys. Thanks. We got to go.

Bye. - Bye.

Show Notes

On today’s show FBI has arrested a high level CIA operative, we have all heard of a watch dog but have you heard of a gun dog?  Maratons Have Gone to the dogs, Don’t Talk To My Girlfriend!  SSSHHHH Judge They can hear you!, in cigars we have an update to a smoking Ban and someone is getting three new cigars!  Then as always we end the show with the industry’s favorite game What’s The Score!