ACHP 576 Whats Up With Rachel?

Transcript

- All right, it's that time again, three. - Oh, now he's adding. - Two. - One.

- Oh, my God. It's like a coop entrance. He just got three more seconds of air time. Welcome to a Cigar Hustler Podcast where cigars are just the starting point.

Join me, Mike Palmer is your host, and in the hot seat today, we've got my co-host, Mike Szczepankewicz. There he is. He's gonna bring it. He's gonna rally.

In the hot seat. And then in engineering, star of the new movie, Maternity Leave, I Want Your Baby Inside of Me, Mr. Phil McGuffey. That's a little creepy.

Wow. As we dive into the latest cigar industry news, sports, current events, business, and whatever crazy stories are making headlines. Whether you're... I'll wait until you're done.

The volume? The... Yes, I thought I was being attacked by a snake from yesterday's show. Well, it's a cigar podcast.

Whether you're a seasoned cigar... The snake was like three episodes ago. Burmese python was yesterday. Oh, rattlesnake was two.

I'm not talking about the rattlesnake. Steaks. We were going to cut it into steaks. That would have been nuts.

Well, it was raining out, so it didn't make a lot of noise. Right, that one was wet. It didn't work. Whether you're a seasoned cigar smoker, but thank you for listening, or just looking for entertaining conversation, expect honest opinions, plenty of laughs, and a few unexpected detours along the way.

On today's show, Solar Reflector or Death Ray? Death Ray. Next. That will be 20% please to enter the straights.

It's a scam, don't do it. Everybody leave poor Rachel alone. Then in cigars, we're getting Cigar Health Insurance, Scott Pierce Takes the Stand, and a new version of What's to Score, Cigar Press Style. Oh.

Oh. But first, Michael, tell us all about CH Pod and the Patreon, Joe. Like and subscribe wherever you're viewing or listening to the show. " Oh.

Buy one, get the second one, 40% off. Spend $100 or more and get free shipping. com, Oz Cigar Hostels podcast. We review, what do we review for this week?

This week we did the Oz Family cigars, the Macarena. Yes, the Macarena. So check that out. Nobody's ever gonna find that cigar.

You got the Macarena? I hear Oz sings that every time one is sold. He does. He's a huge...

And they're changing the name just to make you happy. Yeah? Perfect. You talk to him?

Yeah, well, I gave him a preview of the show. Oh. He goes, oh, you're right. We changed the name.

Is that how he talks? Yeah, it does. He's Chinese? He's Chinese.

That's awesome. Last name Ossenger, you could just, yeah. He was adopted. What do you want?

He was adopted? Into the family, yes. Hero. Hero.

Oz Family Cigar. Oh, we changed name. So silly. com, just so you guys know.

Ironing that out. Let me see. Ooh, let's see. Do we have any more bids?

Do we have any more bids? I don't know. I don't know, George, bids. I'm probably going to add like a comment section also to the auction site.

Great. Period. These poor people. You can comment here, you can comment there.

Now, if you want to win a prize, you have to comment on all of them. No, you don't have to comment on the... This we have to... Oh.

You gotta take a point. Oh, we have no bid. We do. Who winning now?

We are currently at $37. Ooh. From Michael Z. Ah, Michael Z.

Cigars. I'm kind of curious about this. What, there's a fake bid? Was there two more zeros after it?

Oh, there's a proxy max. Actually, we're at $38. Oh. Who's back in charge?

I've got to figure this out. Do they have to give us their credit card information to bid? I think so. I don't know.

I don't know. - This is the first one. - No, no. - So I'm working out all the kinks.

" - Well, the first bid, you didn't even have to be an account to bid. - Oh. " - That's not gonna work. - Can't do that.

- We'll never know who it is. - But I didn't want it to charge right away. - Well, yes. - Because if they win, and what if they wanted to get something else before they checked out?

- Oh. com your wife wanted me to talk to you about the amount of time you and claude are spending together yeah she's feeling a little She's all neglected. Is she? Yes.

Did she say that to you? No. But it's funny. It wouldn't surprise me at this point.

Mr. Palmer, if you could please talk to my husband about his boyfriend, Claude. Dude, I legit pass out on the patio like this with a computer in front of me. Oh.

Yeah. Maybe go to bed. I started doing, I got six going at the same time. Six now?

Yeah. Wow. It was at three. Yeah.

Hmm. Are you doing, so you're doing a real estate one? I like it when you gotta be doing a flag football one. No.

I like it when Claude tells me, like, you're in the wrong chat. Oh, does he really tell you that? He's like, uh, this is for a different project. I'm like, sorry.

Oh, sorry, Claude. Sorry, I messed that up. Are they all the same Claude? He just keeps them separate?

They're all in separate terminals. There's six separate terminals going. And then there's one main Claude. Oh.

Yeah. Main Claude. com, like, subscribe, review, and listen to the show. We're doing some comments.

Comments. Our comments are getting better and better every day. It's the main feature of the show now. We love the comments.

We're only gonna do, we're gonna do a show just for comments. About the comments. We're not doing anything else. A comment on the comments.

How do you feel about that? We need live comments. But that'd be hard to do because we record at different times. Yeah.

Like right now, it's 5am. Yeah. I'm not even sure what day it is anymore. But we'd have to do a live show.

Well, technically. Right. I mean, I guess. unless you did a watch party.

What's a watch party? What is that? We all have watches? You watch the show with them.

Oh. At Pacific Time. Oh. At Corey Davis said, I had a great time hanging out at the Creekside event, although I think I bought enough sticks while there.

I can't believe I didn't see the Marineros. Yes. Marineros. Yes.

Dude, I love hanging out with you guys. Corey, you're awesome, dude. Corey, take pictures next time. He doesn't like to.

Did you do the speech? No. Oh. It wasn't that kind of an event?

You guys, make him do the speech. Make him do the speech? Yeah. Ruckus Unchained.

Ruckus Unchained, AKA Mom. Aye, Sharon. Mikey's mean. Palmer, you need to behave.

Oh, yes, ma'am. Oh. You're out of line. She just said behave.

She didn't say out of line. I saw the comment. Could be on Sharon's bad list. Yeah, I'm gonna be on her list, though.

Is she still here, or is she gone back home? I don't know, she's probably gone. I heard she spent the day with your children. Well, not the day, I'm sorry, that's a little expanded, I guess.

She spent some time. The window is about three hours. After that, she's exceeded the limit, and she leaps. Is that where the kids go, "We've had enough"?

" Ah, gotcha. That's enough children. Grandma's tired, she needs a drink. You want to hear a funny story?

There you go. She likes to have the occasional, you know, tip of back. I'll put my mom on blast. Oh, good.

She'll comment tomorrow. I tried to get her on the show when she was here. Can you please send me the information of the hotel? Yes, ma'am.

Love you. I've asked multiple times. You got it. You need to ask me and I'll get it.

Palmer, I need the information for the hotel that we're staying at this weekend so I can plan. Yes, ma'am. You got it. Thank you.

Love you. Love you, bye. Love you, bye. Love you, bye.

Were you invited Phil to this hotel event? It's a football thing. No, it seems like, you know, Mikey's forgetting a lot of things lately. Right.

It's a football thing. Forgets a speech. It's a hotel. She's not planning for football.

She's planning for the hotel. Dude, I can't, you know, I should have never committed to this. It's just so much. It's just an out of town football thing?

Yeah, it's Nationals. Oh. It's just so much. Are you sending the information now?

I am. Okay. Boots, what's the timestamp? No, it's okay.

Leave it in. - 939. - Oh, he's gonna leave it in, alright, we'll leave it in. - I'm just sending this link, here's that.

- Sending the link, the link, the link, the link, the link, the link, the link. - That should buy me some time. So we had a, the kids have basketball games? - Yes.

- On Saturday? - Yes. - And she text me after Teddy's games were done. - Yeah.

" Oh, well, Greg's very outdoorsy. " Oh! Yeah. The line was too long at the kayaking?

Yeah. How's there a line at kayaking? I don't know, is it the lake or something, the spring? Oh.

Maybe they go over to Okava, they rent kayaks there. Only two kayaks at a time? Yeah, I mean, Greg has kayaks. I mean, you're kind of missing the point here, though.

No, no, yeah, the kids were the secondary. I got the point. Yeah. But there wasn't anything funny to do with that, other than belittling Sharon, which I'm already on the list, so.

It's pretty funny. Yeah. Be a little away. Well, yeah, I'm not on your list.

At iHeart Boots, there's now an iHeart Boots, and it's the Phil mask from the CH Pod site, which I love. Oh, is it really? Yeah. Welcome back, Phil.

Congrats on the birth of your new son. Did you smoke a special cigar to celebrate this? Did you? That's a great question.

I actually did. What'd you smoke? I smoked a craft. You smoked what?

Oh, you didn't? You didn't? Yeah. The new ones?

The new ones, yeah. Did you pass out a bunch of cigars to your friends? No, I didn't have anybody there with me. He doesn't have any friends.

Well, we're on the show. He could have got us cigars. Well, you know, yeah, you're right. Yeah, we could have did like a It's a Boy's cigar and smoked them together.

I mean, I'm giving him plenty of cigars. Yeah. No, you're not, you know. Mama was, she was definitely tired, so.

Well, we didn't want her to show up here and smoke a cigar. No, no, there was no me coming here. I mean, I was at the hospital. Oh, I meant, like, yesterday, your first time back.

Like, hey, here's Scarce. Hey, attaboy. You know what we should do, actually, now that you got this whole chat board and everything? Change diapers?

No, no, no, we should do, like, a buy a ticket for a Q&A with all of us. I'm not doing that. Buy a ticket for a Q&A? We do a special show where they ask us questions?

Well, we do, like, a Zoom thing. I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. He needs money.

He's got another chat. No, we're selling T-shirts, why can't we do this? T-shirts are different, they get something. You don't think everybody out there would want to do a Q&A?

I'll tell you why we do T-shirts, because it's really cool when you go and meet up with somebody and they're wearing your swag. That's fucking one of the best feelings. Yeah, let them wear their T-shirts on the Q&A. No.

If they want to do a Q&A, they can just meet us on a podcast somewhere, because we do interviews and things everywhere. When do you want me to do a Q&A? Well, you don't ever take me with you. I'm sorry, nobody asked you to be on their show, I don't know what to tell you.

Yeah. I think they asked, I think you guys just don't tell me. No one ever says, has everybody ever said, is Phil available? Nobody's ever asked me if Phil's available.

I'll tell you right now. People are bidding on the mask. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now.

They want your DNA. If somebody reaches out and says, hey, we want to have Phil on the podcast, we will facilitate that. Oh, certainly. I can't wait till Epicurean Smokes emails you guys.

You know what's funny is that was the one I was thinking of, but we're going to be on his show upcoming. Is that the one we're on on the 23rd? - Yeah. - It's a day, that'll be a good show 'cause that's, I get back, if we go on the trip, that's the day after we get back.

- Okay. - And when you say we, is that like double or triple? - Just double. - Just double.

- Yeah. - You've already been. - Yeah, you don't get to, no, he's talking about on the podcast. - Oh, on the podcast.

- You don't get to slide in on that one, you weren't invited. And now if he invites you, it's awkward. - Oh, is it? - Right.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like when you go to a birthday party and you wanna bring, you know, one of your other kids, like, oh, you know, do care for, but they're not gonna say no, you know what I mean? Why don't I bring my screaming baby on the birthday party? Well, I'm okay with him not saying that.

You really don't have a sitter. So we'll wait until you get a proper invite from a podcast. Sure. Okay.

He is available. That's what we're trying to say. He's got plenty of time. Plenty of free time.

Available. Because he ain't changing diapers at night, so you got time to do the podcast. You got to wear the mask though. Right, you'd have to wear the mask on the podcast.

You got to wear the mask on the podcast. Yeah, I'd wear the mask. You'd have to be filled. So I'll need you to sign for it when you check it out.

Sign for it? To make sure you bring it back. You have no clue probably what's in this room. He knows where everything is.

I know where the mask is. He knows where it's at. But he wouldn't know if it was gone. We're going to have to make you sign an NDA as well.

An NDA? Yeah. Certain things you can't say. Yeah.

Like your real name. Like bomb? You can't disclose. Can't say your real name.

Can't say my real name. Do I have a real name anymore at this place? Phil. " He can wear a mask.

We have masks. I was like, "Damn, bro. " He's like, "Yeah. " When does it expire?

I don't know if it ever expires. Oh, it's a non-compete that expires. No, but you know what would be funny is if you just had him come on. I don't know who I was talking to.

Oh, I was talking to Creekside about this. " That would be funny. Right. And then he's off the show.

Yeah, and then he, I mean, if he said that three or four times, and I just delivered this, people would understand. Sure they would. And he didn't violate anything. Good point.

It is, @rookscoding says, "It is 100% challenging to be on the podcast. Really hard to figure out when and where to say something. That's why I let you guys do what they do. I was just filling in for my friend Phil.

Aww, he's a good guy. He is, he's a great guy. And he can talk anywhere you want. Yeah, exactly.

That's what Palmer does. Doesn't matter, you can be mid-sentence. It doesn't matter. Yeah, Mikey just whips him after the show.

One lashing forever interruption. You missed it where Triple G laid into him. Oh, really? He's like, will you just let him talk?

I was like, oh my God. Well, Greg doesn't really get hyped up like that. Yeah, it was so cool because I'm like, oh, that had to register for Palmer like, oh, so it's not. I know I do it.

I can't help it. Yes, you can. No, I can't. Yes, you can.

No, I can't. Yes, you can. No, I can't. Yes, you can.

No, I can't. Yes. We can sit here all day. Okay, that's fine.

Yeah, I'd probably say Palmer can't help it. He needs to learn just to get better. " You know, here's what I'm going to tell you, I don't like to address problems that haven't occurred. That's a tomorrow round.

So that is a "pull the name, figure that out" problem. So we are confirming that they're Palmer's accounts. You guys are just assuming. At this point, there's like seven.

I don't have that kind of time. Yeah, right. Palmer, you will go years with a joke. We know that.

Well, yes, obviously, but still, I don't have that kind of time. Okay, whatever. I'm going to give one more for Rooks Coatings here. Welcome back, guys.

I like being on the show, but love the OG crew. Yes. OG crew is nice. It's a nice, different feel, if you will.

It's nice to mix it up, though, with another person when they come in. Yeah, yeah. It makes it a little different. Triple G is solid.

Yeah. " Thank you. Oh, somebody backed you. I don't know where T-Money is, we must be taking a break, so.

At DataCash2004, which of Palmer's iHeart account was selected for the ashtray giveaway? Yeah. He's just mad he didn't win. At FloridaMan1888, in the spirit of welcome back Carter song, welcome back Mike and Phil, congrats to Phil on the healthy baby.

Love you guys. By the way, Phil is the man for picking me for the ashtray. Oh, you're welcome. And thank you very much.

You know, here's what's really kind of funny about "Florida Man"? Yes? It's a woman? No.

Is this like the real "Florida Man"? No. "Florida Man" is one of our guys upstairs, and he's one of the only guys that when you go to say hi to him, he stands up out of the chair and shakes you. Oh, I know exactly who it is, yeah.

Oh, I know who you're talking about, though. As soon as I said it, you got it. Yeah. " Yeah.

He's right to do it. Yeah. Well, I know he is, but it's not necessary at this point. I like the fact that he does it.

It's a respectful thing. Yeah, we pay attention to that sort of thing. That's awesome, dude. @4KiwiGMan, Mike, have you thought about setting up a Discord Rumble channel?

I have. We have a Rumble channel. We do have a Rumble channel, but we don't have a Discord channel. What even is that?

I've heard of it, but I have no idea what it is. It's like a- Oh my lord, it's a whole other thing, bro. Yeah, and Creekside has one. And that kind of brings me back to the thought of what I want to kind of build off of all of it on the site on CHPod.

Right. Like, I want that community there instead of it being somewhere else. That way it can never be taken away. Is Discord just a chat type thing?

I think so. There's another one, what's that other one called? I'll figure it out and we'll talk about it later. There's another one like Discord.

Yeah. There's so many, man. There's so much stuff out there. You got like that whale mail, like there's a whole bunch of things.

Yeah, so I think that what I'm going to do is, I'm going to, you know what, I actually do need to jump on Discord and see what it looks like and get a better understanding of it. Twitch. Because I want it to be the section, the community section on the CHPod site, the podcast site, I want it to be something like that, right? So, but 4KiwiGman is actually helping me with everything.

Oh. Yeah. He's been helping me work on the back end of the new retail site. He's been helping me with the back end of the CHPod site.

He's giving me intel. Oh, and by the way, by the way, I went to go build a Wikipedia. And Claude suggested that I don't submit it, I have somebody else submit it, so I, for whatever reason, I instantly thought of Mitch Smith, so Mitch Smith went and goes to submit it, and they instantly shut him down, and they shut down his account, and they said, I wonder why? Yeah, they said, no promotional stuff, even though it's not promotional, it's just data about the podcast.

Oh, for the podcast, not for Phil specifically? Yeah. Oh. Because, I mean, all that stuff's promotional information.

No, no, no, no. Well, but it's supposed to be a data source. I don't think anybody's promoting George Washington. The new movie?

It looks good. I want to go see it. That's Young Washington. Young George Washington.

But I mean like on Wikipedia. Oh, well, that's why Phil McGuffey just says like a fact. This is Phil McGuffey, a porn star. He's not a real person.

Yes, he is. You're sitting right over there. Don't belittle yourself, Phil. No, how the AI stuff's gonna read it.

It's gonna say this is not a real person. Well, they don't know if it's a real person or not. What are they looking for? Oh yeah, nobody knows about where it's on.

Hey, I won't know. You mentioned it. I'll tell you what. When we get done, I'm going to ask about Phil McGuffie.

Tell me about the popularity of Phil McGuffie, and then we'll see what it says. Maybe I change the AI name on the news site from Mike to Phil. Hi, I'm Phil. Hi, I'm Phil.

And then I can do like Easter egg jokes. Yeah. Oh, great. Like, tell me about your movies, Phil.

I've been in various movies. Various movies. Great, now everybody has their own Alexa of me. Right.

That's you. Can you make it sound like him? That'd be great. It doesn't have a voice.

It's just chat. I think I'd like my voice on that to sound like Jarvis. You don't sound like Jarvis. That's not going to happen.

It'd be cool, though. Maybe one day. Yeah, I'm sure one day. If you want to hear your comment read aloud on the show, comment below.

Eventually, you're going to be commenting on our CHPod blog site. Wherever it's at. Right. You've got to go somewhere else now.

What? Well, we've trained them to comment on YouTube. Yeah. Spotify.

And now we want them to go somewhere else. Yeah. Okay. That's correct.

So watch the video and then go somewhere else and comment. Yeah. Okay. Come with me.

And you'll see. Another chat on another side you have to comment on. - Comment on. - Always work to win an ashtray.

- It's free, it's free, it's free. - It is. - You know, those are priced really well for purchasing. - Yeah.

- They're like $2 above what it cost you if it was blank. - Mm. - So that's not bad. - That's a good price.

- Yeah. - $2 above. - You get the good deal today only. - Good deal.

- Okay, let's get on with the show. - All right. - What, are you gonna say something, Phil? You know, I did hear in the very beginning that there was supposed to be some type of sports, but I didn't hear any of that in the ticker that you came up with.

Today there was sports? Well, it could be sports. We did sports yesterday and we did McGregor. I was just saying.

S. has approved plans for an experimental satellite carrying a massive mirror designed to test if sunlight on demand and basketball at night was possible. Oh. There you go.

There's your sports. By reflecting sunlight on the targeted areas of the Earth, the Federal Communications Commission issued a license Thursday allowing California-based startup Reflect Orbital to launch and operate its satellite. Isn't that like... Satellite.

This has been in several different movies where they use the sunlight to fry and kill people. Right. So the FCC just allowed them to make a death ray. To fry and kill people?

They could. It's a death ray. The experimental satellite designed to test whether sunlight can be reflected from space onto small, targeted areas of Earth. Death ray.

The spacecraft--go ahead. Can you imagine just beaming people out of here? Like, oh, there he is. Oh, he just went outside.

Right. All right, get him. And he pops, like he's eviscerated. The spacecraft carries a large, lightweight mirror made of reflective film that unfolds once in orbit.

James Bond. and can be precisely aimed at a specific location. Anybody following this? Is death ray stuff?

Death ray. Well, you've talked about this before, actually, where people can light up specific sites at night. Have we really? Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, well, now they have a license to do it. Now they're approved. By adjusting the mirror's angle, the satellite directs natural sunlight to briefly illuminate an area.

The FCC approved the company to launch and operate a single, demonstrative satellite, Clearing its use to use the radio frequencies needed to test its technology. I'm smoking this, by the way. He's smoking that, by the way. Bastancia.

Mirafel. Mirafel. a. death rays.

Ernest Starvo Blofeld from the FCC said as he stroked his white cat, We find the grant of Reflecting Orbital's application for a single demonstrative satellite serves the public interest by permitting reflective, audible to test emerging technologies that advances American leadership in space, and the petitioners' and commenters' concerns do not warrant either denial or additional conditions of the authorization. I want sharks with frickin' laser beams on them. Well, apparently the FCC would approve that too. Wait, did you say with a white cat in his lap?

Yes. Yeah, that was the joke. That was to James. And actually, that was the name of the famous James Bond villain with the white cat.

Oh, really? Yes. Oh, sorry. It's called an Easter egg.

I thought Austin Powers. Yeah. I was going with Dr. Evil.

Dr. Evil would be funnier, but saying the name Dr. Evil was too obvious. Got it.

Officials with Reflective Orbital says that technology could have practical applications, including supporting search and rescue missions, providing additional light for solar farms at dusk or dawn, and extending daylight saving operations. Okay. So they got to be able to turn this on. Tommy's missing in the woods.

Well, turn on the big light. Light it up. Light him up. You guys remember when you were kids, right, and you used to take like a piece of glass or something?

Magnifying glass. Magnifying glass, yes. And you would burn all the ants. You would concentrate the sunlight into one specific area.

Right. Yeah, yeah, same idea. So how are they going to use that on a search and rescue mission? Are you going to kill everybody?

They're going to start frying the woods until Johnny comes out. Right. Tiddlet a little to the left, please. I feel like nobody's really thought about this situation.

Right. Sunlight's hot. Right. Normally.

Now we know, now we're gonna try to concentrate it in a small, specific area. Yeah, it's global warming all over again. This is, yeah, this isn't warming, this is global burning. Global burning.

Where'd you guys learn this from? Oh, Kim Jong-un. He told us this is a great idea. I saw it in a James Bond.

There's a James Bond movie where they put the satellite in space And the giant mirror opens up, and then, bam. Remember, we talked about this because like, if it was like a reasonable number to just turn daylight on to a person, I would totally do that. Like you just make it so that they never had nighttime at their house. Oh, right.

Well, they could do that technically. Hey, yeah, just I want you to beam this guy from 8:30 at night till four o'clock in the morning. On his forehead. Super bright.

Right. Light Kim Jong-moon up for the next six weeks. I think that would be fantastic. I'm looking forward to this.

I hope there's a nice app for it. Oh, you want to control it personally? Yeah, yeah. And I will charge it to the game.

I think with, oh yeah, Greg, I love that. What is a $7 million? com? And why is there a light on me at nighttime all the time?

Why can't I sleep? It's fine, I'll just, he always has an answer. I'll just shutter, I'll just, you know, blink. I'll get a blackout curtains.

Yeah, he probably has them. Well, I mean, at that house over there, he used to have carpet on the windows under the curtains. Yeah. Well, Greg's the type of person that would just uninstall all his windows.

Right. Just break everything up. Yeah. It's really hard in here, though.

What is this? I hired a mason and... I hired a mason. Yeah, the problem is, though, that Greg doesn't...

When Greg has a guy, that guy normally isn't great at what he does. But he's a deal. He's a hell of a deal. Hell of a deal.

Hell of a deal. He had an electrician come to my house like two years ago. My lights never worked. Still, you flick that one switch, nothing happens.

My buddy came over, we fixed it. Ah, yeah. Nice. Did he just, wires reversed or something?

Something simple? He's like, this guy didn't even plug this in. I'm like, big shocker. Do you have that one switch in your house that really doesn't do anything?

Which one? Any house, or any switch. We have like a switch, you flick it, nothing happens. We have no idea what it goes to.

You don't think it's attached to like an outlet or something? Could be, but I mean we tried the outlet to near it, and I think it's in the kitchen. It's like Christmas vacation. Right, but we've had one of those in every house we've lived in, we're like.

It's probably attached to an outlet. Half hot, yeah. Especially these older houses, man, you know some of the shit that people did. Like you know what would be cool is if this switch controlled that light all the way over there for that lamp.

Right, in the other room? That way I don't have to go back over there. Right, that way you walk into the room and the lights are on. Yeah, it's gonna be amazing.

That'll be great. And then, you know, fast forward. Why do they always talk like this? That guy died 30 years ago.

Right, didn't tell anybody. What the hell does this thing do? Hmm. That's exactly what that's about.

All right, President Donald Trump says ships will be charged 20% of their cargo's value in exchange for protection. Oh, nice. We're now in the protection business. We're pirates.

That's right. And how do we value what's on the ship? Like the mob. Well, they have an invoice for what they put on there.

Hey, you know, we're gonna keep it comfy, we're gonna make it safe for you, just for a little fee. You want them not to bomb you? Here you go. No problem.

We take care of this for you. This is what the coverage looks like, eh? Right, I come every Tuesday, you give me 20%, I need a little vig. A prediction in the strait of Hormuz, but the administration has not explained who would pay, how the fee would be collected, or what would happen to the vessels that refused?

Or where would the money go? Sorry, your boat sank. Hey, yo, you know, it says right here in your contract that you're covered until you're not covered. This sounds like a city code enforcement violation.

President Donald Trump says the United States will begin charging ships Trump said the money would reimburse the United States for cost of providing security in this critical waterway, where roughly fifth of the world's oil and natural gas traveled before the war disrupted. I want to be reimbursed because, you know, we're protecting a rich part of the world here, Trump said. What we've done is we are going to be reimbursed and we're going to call it protection. We want you to be covered, huh?

Everything will be fine. The White House has not explained which cargo would be subject to the charge, whether shipping companies, cargo owners, or foreign governments would be responsible for paying it. Everybody, everybody should pay 20%. All of them.

The VIG is 20. You got to bring cash on the boat. We can bring a... If you don't, we're just gonna take some of your goods as soon as you, this is ours now.

Yeah, would you like to buy this oil? It fell off a boat. Honey, look at these beautiful dresses I got. These are nice.

Would you like a new blender? I got those two, here you go. Yeah, all these ninja blenders right here. They fell off of a boat.

Well, let's see. How the United States would determine the value of each shipment? Oh, they haven't determined, there's an invoice, there's a packing slit for the boat. Yeah, exactly, they gotta report it, no big deal.

USA will be, from this point forward, known as the Guardians of the Hormuz Strait. We are the Guardians. I'm sure that that's what, you know. They're all gonna, they're gonna dress like the Guardians that used to patrol New York City subways.

In downtown Brooklyn, we call ourselves the Sicilian Guardians, you know. We protected you from the others. But, as such, and as a matter of fairness, will be reimbursed at the cargo rate of 20% shipped for all costs necessary to do the job providing safety and security to the very volatile section of the world. Oh, government is like the ultimate tier of organized crime.

Oh, that's what he's doing now. Well, that's what they all do. You know, that's... He's just, he just puts it out there, though.

He doesn't try to disguise it. No, you're gonna pay us money because we're protecting you. We wanna cover you. We're doing that for you.

We're the guardians of the Hormuz. What else you want us to do? " We're the guardians. We're the guardians.

Who wants to be the tree? Who wants to be the tree? It's a beautiful tree. It's the best tree.

It's the biggest tree we've ever seen. I have a great tree. " All he says is: I am Hormuz, I am Hormuz, I am Hormuz, bring on the chaos. Phil has said nothing this entire time, maybe he's been tapped to be one of the guardians, I'm for the, I'm for the VIG, said he'd have to be on a boat, and he just like: Well, to be honest in this story, I don't know what's true and not true, yeah, that's true, all that's true, yeah, allegedly, could be complete shit, no, all that's true, it is a good story, but all that's true, where'd you pull it from, yeah, I think this was CNN, I think this was, yeah, right.

You pulled some from CNN? What's the name of that funny one? The Onion? Oh, The Onion is one of them, yeah.

The Onion is one of them. I don't do onion stuff. I got this from The Onion. Just from The Onion.

The last story that we're doing today before we get into cigars is from an Indian newspaper. Oh, really? Oh, great. It's gonna be sticky.

It's a good story. You should start-- No, no, not that kind of Indian, like India. Oh, not Feather, it's-- Hey, hey, hey. I'm sorry.

Honestly, dude, you should start pulling from The Onion And acting like they're real because whenever we post anything that's kind of controversial or something that you've unintentionally screwed up, the outrage is tremendous. Oh, I have one for tomorrow. They're like, you're an idiot. I can't believe like the shit that is on my feed.

There was a guy that with the whole, first of all. The gravity? Yeah, the gravity one. It didn't happen, apparently.

The gravity one. Oh, no, I thought it's in August. Oh, you're right. It is.

It's not August yet. The gravity thing. It's still not going to happen, but whatever. " I mean, violent and angry.

Like, yeah, we don't know what we're doing. Well, they're scared because they didn't want the gravity thing to happen. Right, because then we all die, apparently. It's even scarier as some of the other things people say.

The ones that believe it. Yeah, like, I mean, it was a legit story. I don't know if it's true. Well, if I'm in my house, will I float away?

Your house will float away? Yeah, like, stuff like that. I'm going to tie myself to a tree. Then what?

A tree will float away? You do that. It became so overwhelming that I couldn't respond. I just couldn't respond to everybody.

They outdid you. You know, you better send me a picture of the guy with the piece of rope tied around him. I have to see that. Okay.

That's insane. I can make that. Sure. No, no, I want the real guy that commented on this thing.

Oh, well, that hasn't happened yet. We can't send you a photo from the future. Yeah, dummy. Oh, sorry.

Fake recruiters who text you or reach out to you randomly through message apps on your phones. It's a scam that's sweeping across the country. Do you get those messages about people want to hire you? Sure.

Yeah. And the sunshine, it's a big thing now in Florida. They promised get-rich-quick jobs, but ultimately they're trying to convince you to pay to get paid. I never get past the initial request, so I don't know if they asked for money, but apparently they do.

It cost one woman who spoke with Cigar Houser podcast while we investigated, under the condition we conceal her identity, thousands of dollars. Oh, man. What a sucker. It was scary, but I was trusting this woman that had forged a friendship with me.

The woman said she said she's heartbroken and ashamed and that she's allowed people that she's never met and only communicated through messaging to steal from her. The message she received offered the job of a lifetime working from home, marketing products online. Instead, within days, one person messaging the woman persuaded her to transfer money, including her college loan and a bank loan, saying she needed to pay to receive money she earned back. Oh, my God.

Some people are very gullible. This person went to college. Well, no, she can't now. She gave the money to them.

Dude. " And a college fund? Well, this is all total. I'd probably say $75,000.

I don't think she went that hard. I think if you go that hard, my goodness, I'm going to say maybe 20 G's. 83, including a $9,000 loan. I put every penny I had in there and totally lied to my bank.

I called the bank and told them, like, this is what happened, and I'm really sorry, but I lied to you, and I don't know what I'm going to do. So I guess you lied to the bank to get the loan. There goes your credit score. And they were like, you were scammed.

Of course you were scammed. At what point, when the person said, hey, you have to transfer me money from your bank account, I want to hire you for a job, but you have to transfer me money from your bank account. Yeah. How much can you get together?

I'd say, well, I'm going to start doing that upstairs. Like, hey, you really want to work here. What do you got on your partner? You know what?

Jake would give you money. Yeah. I'm just saying, Jake would give me money. He's like, that's fine, man.

That's fine. Just don't fire me. Just don't fire me. What's even scarier is these people got driver's licenses, man.

This lady got together $14,000, so how much can you get? 83 together. That's exactly the amount we need. What a coincidence.

You know what's even funnier though? It's like if she actually got loans, just don't pay them. Like you're already screwed. Well, she can't pay them now anyway.

She don't have any money. I can't do that. And no job. Yeah.

The job offer tech scam is surging, especially in Florida, where according to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics, the state last year saw roughly 100,000 layoffs every month. Yes, every month, people struggling to earn a living may be tempted to latch onto these bogus jobs. Ignore it, delete it, said Terry Miller with the Federal Trade Commission. Hey, would you like to work for my company?

Yes. Would you like to do marketing from home? Yes. Would you like to only work five hours a week for $2,000?

Yes. Send me $14,000. Bingo! 83.

Done. I've got that! You'll make it back in six days. Oh, God.

The brain power is crazy. You ever been rolled? You ever been rolled? I've been rolled, I think.

No, I haven't been rolled. Not a single time? I don't give anybody money for anything. " Yep, nope.

Never happened. The speakers worked. But if it's too good to be true, it's too good to be true. Yeah.

But you got product. I did. I didn't open it and find bricks. Oh, well, you didn't get taken.

Yeah, you didn't get rolled. I got speakers. They might not be as good as the guy who said they were. But if you got speakers, it worked.

Well, they always have that, oh, sorry. They always have that, I switched way too quick, that person at the gas station, you've seen those ones? No. They're like, oh, hey, my wife's pregnant.

I ran out of gas. Oh, yeah, can you just give me a few dollars for gasoline? Yeah, give me, yeah. No, I don't have any gas on me.

Oh. Yeah, they're just, yeah, they're just, it's like panhandling. It's the same thing. Yeah, they're just trying to make you feel guilty.

" And, um, and he did say my wife was pregnant. " I'll help you out. Well, that's a little different. You're not actually giving him money.

You know what you mean? I walked up to go fill his tank up. " So the guy was coming. He goes, "Hey, the guy's coming.

" Oh, and he didn't take the gas? Yeah. That might have been legit then. I said, "Are you sure, man?

" I mean, that one's probably legit, but I've seen people get these people money and they drive off as soon as they get the money. " I'll tell you what, I'm a sucker for the kids in the hustle. Like, if you're walking out of Publix or whatever, and they're trying to raise money for their football team, forget it, I'm in. Now, if you don't approach, you're not getting it.

Right, you're not going to them. Like, you know, I, I, and not only that, but I'm going to acknowledge little Timmy in front of all of his other buddies and say, you want to know why I'm doing this? Because you went out of the way and came from it, came for it, right? Like you're hustling.

" Uh, no. Oh, I'm not kids. Well, I guess it depends, like, dude, like, you ever been to a basketball game? You've been to an NBA game, right?

Yeah, you used to take us, remember that? You ever seen those kids outside that sell all this stuff? Yeah. Those kids are, it's not for them.

What do you mean it's not for them? So they're usually like from a home, and what the home does is they have them go out and sell things, and the home collects the money and the kids don't get it. The kids get to like stay in a home? I mean, I guess they get to stay in the home.

Yeah. Oh. You don't want to spoil them? Well, let's say they bring in a hundred bucks.

Yeah. They don't get the 100 bucks. They don't get any of it. Okay.

Do they get to eat? Do they get to eat and stay somewhere? Yeah. Do they get power and water?

But what he's doing is a job, and he's not getting paid for it other than... He gets to live. Wow. I mean, it's kind of, I mean, you know, like, it's like you have a, you get a quote and a job, and then you have a guy work there, and they don't, you get more of the money than they have.

Yeah, but maybe I don't want to live with Miss Tina. Well, sorry, the court put you with Miss Tina. I don't really have much of a choice. You don't get to choose.

You're not 18. Well, I'm not selling these candy bars anymore or these little squishy toys. I ate all the candy. Screw you.

Don't get the squishy toys. They explode and they burn your face. Is that what happened? I have 75,000 squishy toys in my house.

Yeah, the kids love that stuff, man. Yeah, there was a thing where kids were putting them in the microwave and getting them hot and then playing with them and then they explode on their face and they get burned. Yeah, sounds like the butt-chugging thing. Yeah, my kids aren't stupid.

Right. I mean, there are times. I don't know the brands or what the difference is, but there are some that have toxic things inside. I believe it.

" Don't go by the microwave with that. Put that down. " Like, what were you exactly thinking? When I hit 30 seconds and hit start, it looked kind of cool inside, it's moving around and everything.

And it felt so good warm in my hand. I'd probably worry about justice when it comes to something like that. That's the one I always think. Yeah.

Yeah, like, if you go to Five Below, man. Yeah, they're everywhere. The kids are coming out with 10 squishies. Yeah.

" Like chemical apples. you know what's fucked up though you know i'll i'll buy them and i'm like that was so dumb and they'll give it to me and i'll squeeze it i'm like that's pretty cool i feel a little better right now it's like a stress ball this magical cube feels nice yeah here you go daddy you want to use it like i do actually actually daddy daddy's had a rough day can i have two squishies i feel like all he's had a rough life yeah i feel like all these toys have come out because Because, you know, like, sensory things, that's for kids on the spectrum, you know, so like, everybody has to be on the spectrum. Everybody likes it. Well, then you have the realization that, yeah, it's actually marketable for everybody.

Right. You're right, everybody's on in some way. Right. All right, some Rachel Ray fans say the celebrity cook looks unrecognizable.

Yeah, 46 minutes. Is she fat again or skinny? This is very short. All right.

In a new video shared across her social media pages, your hand is the original measuring spoon. He talks about it. But yeah, that's just it. She's 57 years old now.

She's put on some weight and people are giving her a hard time. So she's fat again. Yes, she's fat and old. And she's a year younger than me.

Yeah. However, it wasn't the cooking lesson the most commented in. " Did something happen? Yeah, she got old and she's eating all the food she makes.

Everybody leave her alone. I guess she had some shellfish. She might have. She might have been allergic to shellfish.

I don't know. All right, moving on to cigar news. PCA explores exclusive member insurance programs. Oh, here we go.

PCA is partnered with Higginsbotham, one of the nation's leading independent insurance firms, to explore whether an insurance program designed specifically for PCA members can be built. The goal is straightforward: better coverage, better pricing, and a carrier relationship That actually understands the premium cigar industry before they can take it to market with confidence. Data is needed. Carriers respond to numbers and the stronger the picture of the membership risk profile, the stronger their negotiation position.

PCA is running a short member survey over the next 90 days. It takes seven to 10 minutes to complete and ask basic questions about your operations. Things like location, size, coverage, types, and copy of your current policy. Even if, oh, this might not be health insurance.

- Doesn't sound like it. - Doesn't sound like it now, does it? They made it sound like it was health insurance. Cigar insurance.

Right, even if the future group program isn't the right fit for your business, your participation directly helps your fellow members. Oh, never mind. I thought it was health. Sounds like now it's just to insure your building.

Yeah. And then so they're just gathering information. It sounds like a scam now. Do they want money, I think?

Send us $14,000. I got a video you want to talk about gathering information. You have a video? I didn't.

I'm not supposed to ask unless you bring it up. You're supposed to ask beforehand. Well, he brought it up. I'm sorry, you were sleeping.

I was. Save it till tomorrow. Are you sure? We're already 46 minutes.

Fine, fine. S. trade officials. If it doesn't fit, you must acquit.

The Cigar Association of America President Scott Pierce testified yesterday before Section 301 Committee. Niner. I'm not exactly sure what this is. We are the 301.

S. Trade Representatives, the USTR, the Department of Commerce, the Department of Treasury, the Department of Labor, a lot of departments, and other agencies. The Department of Departments. That assessed the impact of trade policy.

5 rate for most cigar-producing countries. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is not good. Pierce's message to the committee was direct.

Cigars belong in an annex. The exemption reserved for products that would cause economic-wide disruption cannot be produced by domestically at scale or where tariffs would not move the needle out of the underlying problem. So he's telling them we can't make cigars in America. This is a bad idea.

Not gonna work. It's a bad idea. Taxing this is no bueno. Yes.

The CAA's testimony emphasized that the administration has already established a precedent for exemption and that the cigar industry clearly meets that criteria. Pierce made the the case on four points. Terrace will not bring production back to the USA, Americans purchased nearly 10 million cigars in 2025, and about 80% were imported, roughly 99% of large cigars. S.

based on tobacco varietals and hand-rolled expertise unique to those countries. Terrace would raise prices without shifting a single job home. Hmm. Damn!

Damn! And you'd just be taking money from us Americans. And it's wrong. And he talks about a bunch of other things.

S. farmers, because they buy the tobacco here, some of the cigars, and they ship it over there, so now they will be making less cigars. It will affect the economy. Right.

Inflation. 83% of them single-store. Oh, and he talks about the family-run businesses with all the brick-and-mortar. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got a video that talks about the family round businesses. Do you have that too? It's the same video. Oh.

You really want to do the video, don't you? Nah, I'll wait. Well, what are we at? 50 minutes.

You're at 50. I've got, what's the score, is all I got left? Oh, that's cool. That's good, because I've got to get ours.

Oh yeah, he's got to go. I'll drop the bomb tomorrow. Alright, now it's time to play. What?

You need to do this with some enthusiasm. No, no, you're not. Don't you need to poop or something? You're right, whoa, no, look, when you did it with Greg, it was terrible, okay?

I need, you gotta bring it, okay? Okay? Want me to hit something? Try it again.

Alright, now it's time to play: What's the Score? Yes! Players, your clues from a Half Wheel Cigar review and try to predict the score before it's revealed. Revealed!

As more details are shared, the challenge gets easier. Or does it? The closest guess to the actual score wins the round. Can you read between the lines and predict the score?

" Alright, today's cigar is from Cigar Press. Oh! If Fred Rui and Thor could start saying who doesn't review, we would greatly appreciate that as it fits into our show. See what happens?

See what happens, Charlie, when you give me an 81 and everybody else gives me 90s? This is what happens. All right, today's cigar is the Espinosa Knuckles Sandwich Chef Special 2026. Mmm, yummy.

This is going to be tough, because I have no idea. We don't know who did it, it was from their magazine, but it's one of two people, so you have the 50/50 shot. I'm going to say 90. I'm going to go 92.

All right, company is Espinosa Cigars Brand Knuckles Sandwich Chef Special 2026, is a 6x54 Toro in an oval press. It is a Nicaraguan cigar, the wrapper is Mexican, MSRP is $16, comes with a sombrero, shaped like a chef's hat, we have tacos. All right, let's hear it. 90, 90, 90.

90. 92. Clue number one. The cigar delivered a rich, full-body smoking experience with a dense, creamy smoke balanced by earthy.

Balanced by earthy. Wind and fire. Earthy cocoa, coffee, and pepper notes that evolved throughout the smoke without becoming overwhelming. Earthy cocoa.

90. 92. Hawkman. Clue number two.

Number two, construction was excellent, featuring a smooth draw, even burn, and long, nearly white ash, making it an effortlessly and enjoyable cigar from start to finish. Woooo, number one. Ninety-two. Clue, number three, while the flavor profile developed over the course of the cigar, the reviewer felt it wasn't especially complex, favoring refinement and consistency over layered transitions.

89. Mmm, I'm not going to buy it because this is a dope cigar. 92. Final thought.

Despite not being the most complex cigar on the market, its rich, full body profile, creamy smoke, earthy cocoa and coffee notes, flawless construction, and effortless performance make it an outstanding choice for smokers who appreciate bold, refined flavors delivered with exceptional consistency. I'm going to say 90, Alex, 92, oh, you went the right way, 93, yeah, 93, I figured it was going to be high, I mean, that's a good cigar, but everybody rates the knuckle sandwich pretty high. Yeah. Even the ones that, you know, may not be rated that high.

Deep thoughts by Phil. I like to rate, I rate things, they rate things that are high, even though things that aren't supposed to be rated high. Ah. Well, like, I mean, I think like, you know, if it was me, like, Powstanie would be higher than that.

Yeah. 100. 100. Easy.

Yeah, yeah. But I mean, if they're putting that at 93, Powstanie should easily be 94. It would literally be 94, 95. Right.

In comparison. Yeah. Right. I get it.

I get it. We have more Flavortown than Guy Fieri. Thank you. You're right.

It's Polish Flavortown. It's Polish Flavortown. It's Pierogi. Yeah.

It's good. The good stuff. Pierogi and other things. Okay.

All right. Anything else to add? That's all I got today. I got a video if you want to.

I'm just kidding. If we have time. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.

At the end, it'll be very easy to find where to put it. Ready? Like and subscribe if you're viewing or listening to the show. com for all your chpod swag.

Buy one, get the second one, 40% off, spend $100 more, get free shipping. com, us, Cigar Hustlers podcast, where you spend, you purchase for the full year, you're gonna get 10% off. Thank you very much for your time, gentlemen. We hope everybody had a good time listening to us and we provided edutainment for you.

Edumatainment. Yeah, it's not edumatainment, it's edutainment. I like edumatainment. Edumatainment is what Phil would call it.

That's what Bill would call it. Mm-hmm. Edge of retirement. Edge of retirement.

All right. Thanks, everybody. All right, we gotta go. Bye.

Bloop.

Show Notes

On today’s show…solar reflector or death ray?  That will be 20% please to enter the straits.  It’s a Scam Don’t do it!  Leave Rachel alone! Then in cigars we are getting cigar health insurance!  Scott Pearce Takes The Stand and a new version of whats the score Cigar Press Style