ACHP 583 Hawaiian Fight Club!
Episode Summary
Episode 583 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast opens with the usual studio chaos — Mike "Palmer" Beattie, Greg (self-styled "Mr. Triple G Superstar") and engineer Michael Stepankiewicz (celebrating a birthday) talk CHPod swag, the ongoing charity auction for Phil's butterfly mask, and the crew's plan to build their own on-site community hub — tentatively named "The Lounge" — instead of relying on Discord or social platforms they don't own. Listener comments from YouTube and the CHPod community page get read aloud, including a correction on Phil's claim about the speed of Mach 1.
The news block covers three stories. First, a California family says they were targeted in a racially motivated poolside brawl at a Maui luxury resort, where roughly 30 people were involved, chairs were thrown, and seven victims aged 17 to 62 were assaulted; the hosts dig into the "haole" terminology and debate whether the attack was racial or simply anti-mainlander. Second, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission concluded its investigation into 31 sloth deaths tied to an Orlando-area business — a tripped breaker killed space heaters in one incident, while a second Peru shipment arrived sick or dead — with no criminal charges filed, though FWC has changed import and inspection policies and the Orange County Sheriff's Office investigation is still pending. Third, a Longwood man, Malik Brown, faces attempted second-degree murder and child neglect charges after allegedly shooting an unarmed man multiple times from a vehicle with his two children inside at an Orange City apartment complex.
Cigar news covers the Tatuaje RC7, a UK regional exclusive 7 1/2 x 38 Lancero with an Ecuadorian Habano wrapper over Nicaraguan binder and filler, made at My Father Cigars in Estelí, limited to 300 boxes of 10 and debuting at Havana House in Windsor with Pete Johnson on hand. Xikar/Xander Gregg's relaunch of the John T line of flavored, pipe-tobacco-based Dominican cigars gets a rundown of its six flavors and honey-rum dipped cap, plus the returning Crowd Pleaser and Short Tees sizes. The long-delayed Opus X Gold Bullet from the Fuente Opus X Society finally ships — a 6 3/4 x 50 parejo with an undisclosed blend, pre-orders in the $125–$150 range and 2,500 boxes of 12 per year — alongside Elie Bleu Gold & Bullet cutter and lighter accessories. The guys also cover Kyle Gellis' Gellis Family Cigars Heritage No. 50, a $15 San Andrés-wrapped robusto distributed by Warped.
The show closes with "What's the Score," where the crew guesses Halfwheel's redux score on the Rojas Street Tacos Carnitas Robusto after four years of rest — creamy peanut butter, toasted bread, cedar, coffee and dark chocolate notes, with the original astringency and burn issues resolved. Final score: 89, up from an original 84.
In This Episode
- 01Show Open, Swag & Building "The Lounge"Birthday shoutouts, CHPod merch, the Phil butterfly mask auction, and the crew's plan to build an owned community/chat hub instead of a Discord.
- 02Listener Comments & Mach 1 CorrectionYouTube and community comments get read aloud, including a listener setting the record straight on what Mach 1 actually means.
- 03Maui Resort Poolside BrawlA California family says they were attacked by a large group at a Maui luxury resort, with seven victims aged 17 to 62 and a debate over whether it was racially or 'state' motivated.
- 04FWC Closes the 31-Sloth Death InvestigationFlorida wildlife officials find no evidence of neglect or abuse after 31 sloths died from a tripped breaker and a diseased Peru shipment, with policy changes but no charges.
- 05Orange City Shooting ArrestA Longwood man faces attempted second-degree murder and child neglect after allegedly shooting an unarmed man from a car with his two kids inside.
- 06Tatuaje RC7 UK Regional ExclusiveA 7 1/2 x 38 Lancero with Ecuadorian Habano wrapper made at My Father Cigars, limited to 300 boxes and launching at Havana House Windsor with Pete Johnson.
- 07John T Flavored Cigars RelaunchSix flavors — peach whiskey, honey, vanilla, cherry cream, rum and coke, strawberry daiquiri — with honey-rum dipped caps, plus a discussion of flavored cigar bans.
- 08Opus X Gold Bullet & Gellis Family Heritage No. 50The Fuente Opus X Society's second release finally ships at $125–$150 with matching Elie Bleu accessories, plus Kyle Gellis' new $15 San Andrés robusto.
- 09What's the Score: Rojas Street Tacos Carnitas ReduxThe crew guesses Halfwheel's redux score on a four-year-rested Rojas Street Tacos Carnitas Robusto — final answer, 89.
Brands & Cigars Discussed
Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.
Transcript
Welcome to a Cigars... No, it's broken. Welcome to a Cigars... It's a podcast where cigars start the conversation, but anything can happen to Mike Beattie, well, it's still lost at the bottom, I lose the bottom line.
Well, you're the production guy, so this is on you. Yeah, but you just adjusted my camera again. And? I'm Mike Beattie Palmer, your host, along with my co-host, backed by popular demand, the star of the show, Mr.
Triple G. Superstar. Superstar. Superstar.
That's what he likes to be called now, superstar. Here's the problem with you making statements like that, wait until you see the shirt. Oh, I'm gonna be a superstar. Oh, it's gonna be amazing.
How are you gonna be on a shirt? It's gonna be amazing. The whole... I like sniffing the armpit.
I don't wanna get ahead of my creations, I don't wanna tell you just yet, but it's gonna be epic. I can't wait. All right, over in engineering, we got Mr. Michael Stepankiewicz, who today is your birthday?
Yeah, officially, yeah. Officially, no, it is. Play along. Oh, because this, yeah, it plays, right.
Sorry. Now you know how it feels, Palmer. When you're around somebody that's just completely nincapooper-y. Doesn't pay attention.
Yeah. Each episode, we dive into the world of cigars, sports, business, current events, pop culture, and whatever crazy headlines of everyone talking. Nothing's off limits, no opinions are scripted, and you never know where the conversation is going. This is a show like no other.
Here on today's show, Fight Club Goes to Hawaii, the Sloth Investigation has been concluded by the FWC. I do like sloths. Well, we've lost 31 this year. I know, I remember the story, I was on that episode.
We had a shooting over in Orange City last night, then in cigars, a new tat, some new flavors, and an Opus X, then as always, a what's the score. But first, Michael, birthday boy. How do we get some of that CHPod swag? There should be a shirt for your birthday.
We should have done that. com. I'm sorry. Are you good?
I am now. See, I'm the candy maker when it comes to the shirts, so unfortunately, I didn't do that. Yes, I understand why. However, there will be one for you, Mr.
Greg. I'm the candy maker. You're gonna be a large star. What is the reference candy maker?
We are the candy makers. Willy Wonka. Oh, Willy Wonka. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
First of all, like and subscribe when you're reviewing and listening to the show. com for all your chpod swag. Buy one, get the second one, 40% off. By the way, I started updating the, it still says blog site for the, like our community.
Yes. It's got, it updates automatically now and you can add emojis and all these other things. So I'm going to keep working on that so that it becomes like the hub. Are they in like order now?
No, let's not get crazy. Yeah. Emojis is a nice touch though. I like that.
Yeah. Yeah. And I no longer have to approve the comments and stuff. Oh, that's nice.
Yeah. The first time I said you're, I was waiting to be approved. The first time I said ro-ro-ro-ro? Yeah.
Yes. He just had a stroke. I did. Because Greg stood here.
Why do I smell burning hair? I smell burning popcorn. com for our chpod swag. We recently, I'm working on the blog section, or I'm going to call it the community section, we're probably going to rename it and call it, we're going to call it the lounge.
The other place you have to go to comment, call it that. Yeah. I don't appreciate you shitting on all my stuff, you know that? I am not shitting, I have commented on your blog community lounge thing.
My stuff pays you, just for the record. Oh, it doesn't do with the content that I come up with every single day. No, this content doesn't pay us shit. That's shit.
Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. This is just a labor of love.
All right. Well, without this, you couldn't have yours. You got paid wholesale from the wholesale company. Wholesale company?
Yeah. Mm-hmm. The current, let's see, the current auction for the Phil's Butterfly Mask, I think, is holding fast at $46. That he wore naked around his home.
Yeah. Yeah. He wore naked. " yeah yeah that's why christopher says he's gonna lysol it but it's it's at 36 there's two days there are two days left two days this is when the people swoop in so um last minute bitters yeah right they wait to see why waste my time just haggling back and forth 90 somebody'll hit 90 tomorrow done somebody just hits the buy now button right somebody just hits the buy now.
Are you going to borrow $90? I don't have $90. I hate to be wrong. Oh, please.
You have that in your sock. In my sock? Who carries money in a sock? That's your emergency money.
Who throws a shoe? Who throws a shoe? Honestly. Okay.
So, some comments on our CHPod community site. Even he doesn't know where he's reading from. I'm just working on what I want to call it. From the thing that doesn't have a name yet?
Right. From one of these other places Is this where you guys can come in? I don't really like any of you. Your mic is too high, Mr.
Palmer. Is it? Yeah. Why, am I too loud?
You had it slid down in the center before and it was perfect. Was it too loud? No, it's just not right. There.
It's just not right. That's a little better. It's a different shirt, it sits different. Half an inch off.
Right, yeah, terribly. He's just trying to find things wrong. It's not, I don't have, it's not hard. Please, continue with your reading of the commentable.
The commentable. Okay. Sweeney says, it's very tragic what happened to Nancy Guthrie. I thought about how I would feel if my dear friend Phil were kidnapped.
And then I remembered that's a physical impossibility based on simple physics. F equals M times A. Hashtag big boy. Wow.
And that's his friend. He is a witty cuss. He really is. He's a funny dude.
By the way, the shirts that he ordered, I didn't have enough stamps for them, or enough designs, so I had to get them, so they're slightly delayed, but I'm working on that. And now I've updated the site, so that when they're out of stock, they're gone forever. Oh. Yeah.
Oh, I see what you're saying. There's another Nancy Guthrie story today, but it's very sad, so I didn't pull it. Okay. Oh.
And then I wrote laughing out loud to Sweeney. Oh. Oh, you're reading your replies too. Yeah.
Right, reading your replies. Very nice. Eventually, it'll just be his... And then I said...
And then this guy said this one thing, but I came back with... Well, what's really cool is, like, I want this to be a platform where we can kind of interact with our fans all the time, right? Sure. So I'm trying to iron that out, getting closer to it.
Ah, gotcha. Some comments from the previous show on YouTube. Oh, by the way, and once it's done, once I'm there, I'm gonna... So we're going to launch a giveaway.
Giving it away. Giving it away. It's going to be amazing. And no one's going to know about it on YouTube.
No one's going to know. You only got to know. You only got to know if you're on the community page. So then we can't discuss it on the show?
Why not? Because then they'll know about it on the YouTube page. Or they'll want to go and, I guess you got a point. We can talk about it on the YouTube page.
Oh, you just said they won't know about it on the YouTube page. It's a work in progress. Get away from me. What's it called?
It's gonna be called The Lounge. The Lounge. Yeah. The Lounge.
Greg, spell lounge. Couldn't do it. Kick the chair. Okay.
" Thank you, Brett. Wait, is this still on The Lounge, or did we jump to the other one? No, I'm on YouTube. All right, well, you didn't say.
I did say, you're just not listening. Did he say? I don't know, I don't have earphones on it. This is the bullshit I gotta deal with.
@tmoney says, I can help with the Discord if needed. Set up two different servers already. The video hangout is worth it by itself. Interesting.
Move, move, move. Okay, let's vote. If you would like T-Money to be in charge of the Discord, raise your hand. I think that's a good idea.
I don't even know what a Discord is. No, you're kind of missing the idea here. The idea here is to not do a Discord, is to build an actual chat section on the site so that social media can't take it away. Right.
Right. Yeah, so I don't want to build a Discord, I want to build a community that's better than Discord on our own. The problem is that we don't have the computing power, right? No, we have the computing power.
We do? We'll figure that out. I thought that you can't do videos and stuff like that because you didn't have the computing power. Oh yeah, I can figure that out.
Well, store videos, we don't want to store videos. I like that both of you are chiming in like you know what the fuck you're talking about here. First of all, mine was a question, not a statement. So it's not like I'm speaking like I know what I'm talking about.
And I had a question. But no, you don't ask a question, Palmer. You're not allowed. What's your question?
What's your question? Wait, who are you looking at? We both have questions. I can't see you.
Oh, right question? Yeah. Can you set up like a chat room on CHPod? That's what I'm working on doing.
Oh. Yeah. You've never mentioned this before. Well, I have a question.
I just said at the beginning of this. I have a question. That's what I was trying to do. I have a question.
You get one question. What about a chat room on CHPod? You know, that's a great idea. I never thought of that.
And thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank God there isn't like a gallon of gasoline I can douse myself and set myself on fire on this show. I think he'd be in a better mood.
He spent an hour or so with Preston today. Yeah, I think so. The four of them. Preston has his own Claude.
Yes. So yeah, so they're talking to each other, then they both talk to their Claude's. Why not just have the Claude's talk to each other? Right, just have the Claude's talk to each other.
That would make more sense. No, it doesn't work that way. Hey Claude, call Preston's Claude. Get Preston's Claude on the phone, Claude.
Yes, sir, you're very beautiful right away. At Florida Man, this is from the previous episode, at Florida Man, Phil, I love you, bro, but listening to you talk about how 250 and 350 mile per hour is Mach 1, I was dying laughing. Mach means that you broke the sound barrier. FYI, love the show, gentlemen.
Yeah, how fast is Mach 1? I'd have to look it up, but I know it is breaking the speed of sound, and then Mach 2 is twice the speed of sound, and so on and so forth. So three would be three times the speed of sound. Yes, correct.
Ah, see, I picked up on that. It's so smart. Yeah, but what the actual number is, I don't know. I'd have to look it up.
But we know it's not 250 miles an hour. I wouldn't expect Phil to know that, though. Well, he's in the Navy. The problem is that he says it with such confidence.
" So then I looked it up, and I think it was like 750. Probably accurate. Terminal velocity, I think, is 120. There you go.
Which you can get jumping out of a plane. Correct. Great movie. At Guns, Gears, and Smokes, welcome back.
We haven't seen you in a while, Guns, Gears, and Smoke. At least Mike P. tell you he's not coming. Imagine inviting someone to your birthday dinner each year and not get word back if they are coming.
No love. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I think that's probably referencing to something personal in his life. I think so.
That seems very, very close to... I hope that's not me. I took it as it was something you didn't do. It's possible.
Hold on, my wife's calling me. Let's see. Hi, we're podcasting. Hey, did I miss somebody's birthday party every year for the past six years?
All right. Apparently I was invited and didn't go. Love you too. I feel like he invites me and maybe I botched that.
I don't know. Apparently. Well, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, guns, gears, and smokes.
If it's me. at david has office's discord idea was the chance to live chat with other fans or video her if i understand your thoughts on if i own it they can't take it away yeah see yeah he's a smart guy it's like i said this before on a show yeah i don't know i don't watch the shows i remember i'm saying that you live i used to right i used to watch everyone that's too many you know we're almost at 600? Like two weeks? Yeah.
@iHeartBDP says, "Don't worry, BDP, I will invite you to everything. The King? " Oh, wow. Wow.
All right. Thank you. " Oh, he like, he offsets it. You know what I mean?
com, us, Cigar Hustlers podcast, where if you pitch for the full year, you're going to get 10% off. Now, let's go on with the show. A California family claims it was targeted in a radical, racially, sorry, racially motivated, it was a radical, radically, racially, yes, motivated attack at a luxury Maui resort after a group allegedly hurled chairs and beat relatives ranging from teenagers to senior citizens during In a chaotic poolside brawl, Maui police confirmed Fox News Digital that officers responding to the Kanapalai Alalei Resort in Lanahana. Well done, Palmer.
Thank you. m. Problem if they mention it again, I can't say it the same. Lanahana.
m. for a disorderly incident involving approximately 30 people. That's a riot. Police said when officers arrived, they found 10 to 15 people still gathered near the pool, several with visible injuries.
Police confirmed the preliminary investigation identified seven California victims between the ages of 17 and 62, who reported that a large group of juvenile assaulted multiple members of their party before fleeing. According to Maui police, one victim told investigators he and his family were near the pool when an unknown male ran toward them asking for help. Help! Help!
Moments later, several juvenile males allegedly chased the individual into the area before turning their attention to the others nearby. Apparently, they gave up on the guy they were chasing. Either that or the group started to protect the one that said help. Oh, could be.
The group allegedly began throwing chairs and physically assaulting numerous people in the area, indiscriminately attacking individuals of all ages, including elderly family members who were struck during the incident. It was indiscriminately, but the starting of this was it was causality was racist. Well, the the one, I guess it was part of it was it was a large family of people from I think it said California. I think it said they said it was racially motivated.
They said they said they said, okay, because I've heard nothing of race other than California. Well, they don't describe the people. So we don't know. I mean, they could all be in the title of the story.
That's how they but that's what they do to get you to read it. They get you to read it. No, but I mean they haven't described the family, you don't know if they're white, Hispanic, Chinese, purple, yellow, green, blue, you have no idea. If they were purple then that's quite the story.
The family of Barneys was beaten close to death by the pool. Family members told Hawaii News Now the alleged attacks repeatedly threatened to beat up the Haole boys before the violence erupted. Haole is a Hawaiian term that means foreigner, non-Hawaiian. Oh, really?
Yes. Like Toonies, when we were from Boston, you called them Toonies? Right. They worked that into the story.
Well, apparently that's what they were yelling, so maybe it's why they're thinking they're racially motivated because they were non-Hawaiians. Oh, okay. Get the Haoles! Get the Haoles!
So it wasn't necessarily racial, but it was state, the California. Stacial? It's still racial. I didn't use the word you did, I said state.
It's stacial. It's stacial. It's still racial. It could be stilidacial.
I mean, are Hawaiians a race? Or Hawaiians against the Californians. Oh. " Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right. There you go. Yeah. You don't look like you're from around here.
Yeah. And you look at him, you go, "Oh, I see what's going on here. " Right? Right.
Okay. What you have to do is order the Spamburger. burger. Then they think you blend in.
They think you're one of them. They're spitting it. You've got to say aloha. Aloha.
Aloha. Aloha. Aloha. I would like the Hawaiian chicken.
The Hawaiian chicken. Oh, he must be from around here, I guess. He wants Hawaiian chicken. Nobody orders that shit.
That's right. We don't eat that here. It's like getting Chinese food. That's not real Chinese.
Nobody likes the tuna here. That's all I can say. I can't say the rest of it. It's not nice.
All right. Well, that's the end of the story. That was the end of the story. At the end of the day, we never found out how I was racially motivated.
They never said it in the story, it just ended, they called everybody Howleys, and then the thing broke up and they left. Statially, it was statially. It was statially motivated. Statially motivated, it was the, I was gonna say Americans, you can't even say Americans, it was the, the Californians, I guess, like you said, against the Hawaiians.
I wonder if Florida would have been close enough where they might have went, eh, you guys are kinda like us. I just wanna know, it pops off in Florida, it's done. Yeah, nobody's throwing a chair in Florida. It's in Florida.
The chairs aren't being thrown. No, no. Nine millimeters, 45s are what's being thrown. It's going everywhere.
Like, oh, what happened? Yeah. These out-of-towners approached. Right.
These non-Floridians came out and said something about an alligator, so we shut them off. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah.
No, that doesn't happen here. No. No. That happens.
We just stick the alligators on them. That happens in Hawaii. They're like, oh, let's get these people. Oh, the coconut to people and stuff.
It's terrible. They're so mean. Yeah. The whole Moana movie, everything's gone sideways, and now you guys are all coming here, you know.
It's funny. You guys ever been to Hawaii? I don't think I have. Wait, I'm sorry.
Mikey, I know you haven't been to Hawaii. Yeah, I'm poor. Greg, have you been to Hawaii? I don't think I have.
No. He stopped off on his PJ there. He started there before he went to Indonesia. Got you.
Yeah. No, no worries. He was discussing Italy like he lives there with your friend the other night. Oh, yeah?
Yeah. He always, it's very enticing, his stories. He does tell a good story. It was incredible.
We ate... It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. We had pancreas from a virgin.
A person, not an animal. That was sautéed. That was just the first... It was sous-véd, by the way.
It was sous-véd. They just boiled the meat. They're just boiling water in a plastic bag is all it is. Sous-véd pancreas of a virgin.
It was so good. From a virgin. And it was amazing. That's the important part.
I almost got to taste it, but then she took it from me. He was building to that. He was building to that. All right, Florida wildlife officials said investigators found no evidence of neglect or abuse that would support criminal charges after 31 sloths were killed on two separate, okay it says died, two separate incidents connected to Orlando area business.
Somebody got paid. You think so? Somebody got paid. You think so?
How do you mess up so bad? You have to say, I think. I think? Somebody got paid.
Somebody got paid? You can't just yell things out. Yeah, you're gonna get sued. Which means we get sued.
We should not allow me on this show anymore. It's only a matter of time before we're gonna get sued then. Allegedly. Yeah, but you're rich.
You'll hire a fancy lawyer and you'll get off. We'll be ruined, but you'll be fine. You'll be ruined. We're gonna be paying them in mics and cameras.
You want this shirt? I got this shirt. Was it like a shirt with his picture on it? You can have that.
We were about to sell those. Local 9 Investigate has reviewed some of the hundreds of emails exchanged as officials examined the deaths. Agency leaders maintained that by the time investigators became involved, the animals had already died and there was little agency could do. They're dead, sir.
I don't know what you want us to do. The issue, officials said, were timing and the law. According to the agency, the business owners used multiple space heaters to keep the animals warm. It was a warm and electrical breaker later tripped, cutting power to the heaters and causing the sloths to die.
It was an accident. It was, yeah. Well, they didn't obviously intentionally kill the sloths, because how do you make money in sloth world without sloths? You need to keep the sloths.
Well, maybe they're going to make stuffed ones. But it was still negligence. It was negligence. Yeah.
I mean, wait a minute. I believe it was still negligence. Yes, yes, Michael, but you believe it was. Yes, I believe it was negligence.
Allegedly, it was negligence. There's allegedly the possibility that it could be. It would be, allegedly, negligent. A second shipment arrived from Peru in February.
FWC said two sloths arrived dead from disease. The remaining eight animals were already sick and later died, bringing the total number to death to 31. The agency said it first learned about the business in December 2024 after receiving a general inquiry from the mother of a man who had seen an advertisement saying Slothworld was hiring. She wanted to know if it was a legitimate business because her baby boy was about to apply for a job.
I like this woman. Just like, random things that she comes across. I gotta find out if this is legit. Right.
I'm sorry, Greg. I don't know if you can work here. I have to find out. Let me contact the authorities.
You know, Timmy, this would be great for you if you worked at Slothworld. I'm going to reach out to them on your behalf. You know? You're 37 years old, Timmy.
I will tell them that. Yes. Would you like your mac and cheese now, Timmy? Can you put the little crackers, Mommy?
Can you put the little crackers in it? I microwaved it in this bowl for you. Timmy is overweight, and he wears a shirt two sizes too small for him. It says "Sloth World" written in Sharpie.
Yeah, I heart Sloths. There's a food stain somewhere on the shirt as well. I can see it. The macaroni and cheese on the side.
I can see it. Glasses, he has to keep doing this too. The whole time he eats, he has to keep pushing them back up his nose. FWC said it did not receive its first tip prompting the inspection until July of 2025.
The lady called them in December. They waited, what, six months to move in? Allegedly. Well, sloths are slow.
I mean, I thought they had time. We have plenty of time. They can't move back. I figured we got time.
They said they're loose. We have plenty of time. They're not getting anywhere. Months after the sloths had died, a veteran captive wildlife investigator then conducted multiple inspections over the following months.
What did he keep going back for? They were dead. Yep. Still dead.
All right. I'll be back next month. Still dead. You gotta juice the pay a little bit.
You know what I mean? Every time I go, I get to write a document. Right. I gotta write up a form if I only had some pie.
" Justification of position. Agency officials said the animals present during those inspections appeared healthy, had adequate food and water, and were being kept in enclosures that met state requirements. They kept smiling at me. Waving, like they needed help.
They were so cute. Don't go. Don't go. They're not, it's very cold.
The sloth went running to the inspector to help. The person in charge immediately started throwing the chairs from the pool at them. The pool. Because they had a pool for the sloth.
Investigators documented one minor issue involving a quarantine cage. The one that's sick and dying, he's too close to the other ones. I think this is wrong. This is not a good idea.
The agency also stressed that the investigators are not veterinarians and are not responsible for diagnosing diseases. Maybe they should be. Or at least be able to identify them. Right, something.
Maybe a sloth paramedic or something. I'm not a vet, but I play one on TV. Yeah, I can't tell if he's sick or not. Wipe that drool off of him though, it's gross.
Why does he keep vomiting? I don't know if he's sick. He's bleeding out of every single one of his orvices. Probably fine.
Listen, I'm not a vet. I'm not a vet, but that doesn't look right. It does not look like that's healthy. I'm sorry.
FWC officials said the lead investigator assigned to the case has more than 30 years experience, including nearly three decades working with captive wildlife. Not with sloths. Wait, 30 years of experience and three decades? So he's got 60 combined years.
Wait, if he has 30 years experience and three decades, isn't that 30 years? It is, yes. So they just said it twice. Either they said it twice or they meant to say 60, and homeboy is 98 years old.
Again, same scenario. He moves like the sloth. He moves like the sloth. You look fine.
You're just trying to elaborate a little bit, you know what I mean? Like, you know, we've had 18 years of experience in retail. Yeah, but almost 36 combined. Almost two decades.
And then we've sold cigars for almost two decades. Right. You know what I mean? " Holy shit, this guy.
It's like 700 years in the cigar business. Yeah, this guy's incredible. Almost 50 years in the business. Almost.
Almost. Just a little bit longer. If you carry the one. Although no criminal charges were filed, the agency said it has changed its policies in an effort to prevent, you know, sloths dying again in Florida.
Sloths death is a bad idea. Right. Sloths were previously brought into Florida under a blanket import permit that only required the state to be notified after they arrived. Uh, we brought some sloths in.
They're here. They're here. They're here. Are they okay?
You can't ask. Yeah. So I don't understand how protocol changes. They announced it and they got inspected at importation or something?
Yeah, now they probably have to inspect your sloths on the non-veterinarian trained inspectors. Sounds like a disaster. The agency said it's now working with accredited zoos and wildlife experts to provide investigators with additional training specific to sloth health. We're the sloth capital of the world now.
Now we know how to handle the sloth here. We know now. Meanwhile, the Orange County Sheriff's Office is investigating the deaths of murder, murder sloth. It's reported, it's reported expected in early August, so we will keep an eye on this.
Okay, let's get out of this story. See if the man's going to, we've been following this story every time one died. We had to wrap it up. People want to know.
People are really intrigued. They're really intrigued. It's been wrapped. No, no, we still have a report.
Another. One more story. Another investigation. Another investigation.
Thank you for the listener who sent me that story because I didn't see it. They're really wringing the towel on this thing, though. I mean, come on. They want to conclude the story.
Everybody likes to know how things end. A Longwood man is facing attempted second-degree murder charges after he shot another man multiple times during a family-related dispute while his two young children were inside the vehicle with him. m. Friday to a report of a shooting at the Reserve at Orange City Apartment Complex.
Uh-oh. Isn't that right up there by Target? I don't know. The blue ones?
Maybe. I know, I know that obviously Orange City is very close. Yeah, I live in Orange City. Right there.
Probably by your house. No, there's no apartments by my house. According to a preliminary investigation, the victim who police said was unarmed became involved in a confrontation with the father of his girlfriend's children. The father of his girlfriend's children.
So it's a baby daddy. Baby daddy had the kids in the car. How old were the kids, does it say? During a dispute, investigators said Malik Brown fired multiple rounds from his vehicle, Hitting the victims several times.
Brown's two children were also inside the vehicle during the shooting, but they didn't have weapons. They weren't unarmed. They were unarmed at the time. Officers secured the scene, provided emergency medical aid to the victim, and arrested the suspect without incident.
According to the police, there is no outstanding suspect, no ongoing threat to the public. We're all safe, everything's fine. Dude lived. The victim went to the hospital with multiple gunshot wounds where he underwent surgery.
He's listed in stable condition and recovering in the intensive care unit, according to the police. Yeah, well, it wasn't an additional incident because one guy had a gun, not two. Right, like I said, the kids didn't have any weapons. Yeah, and neither did the other person that was getting shot.
But the guy was a good shot, apparently, he hit them all three times. But he didn't die, so, no. Maybe he was just shooting the wound. Oh, yeah, because that's the purpose.
Also, shooting into a vehicle where your children are? No, the guy with the kids was shooting out of the vehicle. - Out of the vehicle. - Yeah, yeah, baby daddy, or baby daddy's in the car with the kids, like he probably picked them up or something, and the guy over by the door is yelling, "I'm banging your baby mama," and then, allegedly, I don't know, yeah, we don't know, yeah, we don't know, right, probably went out with like, you know, baby daddy crazy, and that dude was like, pfff, whatever, and then all of a sudden he realized, holy shit, baby daddy is crazy.
Yeah, baby died, definitely. Also, 11:38, picking up children. 11:15. 11:15.
He was late. Obviously. They're never on time. He had to go to the bar.
Allegedly had to get a couple in them before he popped a few off. Right. I'm gonna get loose. I'm gonna get loose.
I'm gonna do maybe some target practice later. Teach this guy a lesson. Right. Show up at her house and this guy's there.
He's dead. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly.
I'll make him dead. Brown 27 of Longwood is facing three charges that include attempted second degree murder and, well, child neglect, because he didn't give them weapons. Yeah, you gotta arm them. You gotta arm them.
I mean, what's a, you know, you can take them on a drive-by if you don't give them something to shoot. Yoran City Police Department Criminal Investigation Division is continuing the investigation of the shooting. It's not like me, they got it wrapped up, I don't know what the problem is. Yeah, they got the guy, that guy's shot.
They got the gun. His gun. The guys are in the... Little Timmy nine-year-old backseat.
Right. He probably said, that's what, you know, Daddy's a good shot, I don't know what to tell you. Yeah, Daddy's a good shot. Little one goes, I want to be a good shot like Daddy when I grow up.
He wouldn't let me hold the gun. He wouldn't let me hold the gun. I like the other guy better than Daddy. He lets me hold the gun.
He lets me hold the gun. All right, now, Cigar News. Unless, never mind. Say titties again.
Titties again. You're just having fun with it, aren't you? Yeah. One more time.
Nope. Come on. July 27th, oh wait, what is this? Oh no, it almost sounds like it's a review.
Up next. I don't even know what I copied and pasted. Later this week, Cigar Smokers in the UK will be able to get their hands on the Tatuaje RC7, a new regional exclusive limited edition. Ooh.
It's a regional exclusive limited. Regional. It's a 7 1/2 by 38 Lancero with a blend that uses an Ecuadorian Habano wrapper over a Nicaraguan binder and fillers delivering the RC series blend in a classic Lancero Vitola. Mmm, very nice.
The cigars are made at My Father's Cigar Factory in Esteli with the initial production limited to just 300 boxes of 10 cigars. " "Yes, he does. Yes, he does. " These are my father's cigars.
We have the new Cubans right here. However, more boxes may be produced, you know, if they sell them. We sell through these, we make more, this is the business model, more boxes may be produced in the future, basically the same, they're limited unless we sell them all, alright, prices, go ahead, what? Well, I mean, listen, like, do you think a Lancero cigar is going to sell well in the UK?
I don't know that market. I don't know that market either. Seems like with them, they wear the top hats and they like the, you know, the long cigars? Well, hello.
With the white gloves and the monocle? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Does it come with like toothpaste or something?
What days, Tim? Would you like to smoke a Lancero with me? That's what everybody dresses like in the UK. They're just the Monopoly man running around all day long.
Do not collect $200. You go right to jail. Alright, pricing is set at, we have... Euros.
Euros, and we have freedom dollars. They're very nice. Half Wheel puts both in, though. Very good.
How much is this limited sort of cigar? Oh, $16. $15. S.
S.? S. K. 57 is the Freedom of Dollars.
American dollars. $27? $27. It's limited, sort of.
Okay. K. Prestige worldwide. The cigars will debut on July 30th during an event hosted by the retailer Havana House at its Windsor location.
Next to the castle, mm-hmm. Pete Johnson will be present, mm-hmm, in the UK, mm-hmm. Hello, would you like to smoke my Lancero? Well, at least our schools are safe.
We sold them all, sir. Quick, make more. Quick, make more. Xander Gregg gives John T's flavored cigars a new look.
Xander. Xander Gregg. Has anybody heard of these cigars before? I've heard of Xander Gregg.
Yes. That's one person. Anybody that has the same name as me in the industry, I definitely know. There's only two G's in this guy's name, it's spelled wrong.
Yeah. I think that's actually the name of the distribution company. Oh, Xander Gregg? Yeah.
It's not the two guys that are running it? No, that's the name of the distribution company. I mean, it may be somebody's name, I don't know. I don't know if it's somebody's name.
, a line of flavored cigars, giving it a new look and expanded distribution in the process. The line dates back. Is that a good idea to bring out brand new flavored cigars in this market? I think so.
Yeah? I mean, it's a good idea, but you know, everybody's outlawing them everywhere. Yeah, but no, but you know, what's really kind of, what's weird though, is it, it's, you can, it's almost fine as long as it doesn't say vanilla, right? Oh, that's right.
I didn't look close enough to see what they say. So it's like, oh, John T, you know, and then when people figure out that it's infused, it's like, oh, that's perfectly fine. But as soon as you say, "Give this to children," it's frowned upon. Right.
They want to smoke it. It might have had pictures of fruit or something on the bed. Yeah, like some cherries. Fruit could be a problem.
When the Antonaris family launched the cigars in the evolution of the pipe tobacco blends... Ooh, if it's pipe tobacco, they can go. You guys, all the Deadwood stuff. Hey dummy, I feel like you're not listening to me.
No, I am, I heard you, but I thought there were pictures of fruit on the cigars that I didn't realize they were pipe tobacco. If it said, flavored, whatever, it tastes like cherry, right, they can't, that's what I said, I think they had pictures of fruit on the bands, like smoke this tastes like cherries. Pawn scum, even if it, mmm, Pawn water Greg, if it said cherry pipe tobacco, it would still violate the violating. Right, I understand.
I don't think it says pipe tobacco. They're just saying it's got pipe tobacco, isn't it? So many violations. Xander Gregg acquired the brand in 2014 with the mission of preserving its history while continuing to offer the quality that fans of the line expect in return with six flavors.
Ah, here we go. Here we have the flavors. Peach Whiskey, which blends ripe peach sweetness with warm whiskey notes. At that point, aren't they describing the flavor and it's going to be a problem?
That is correct. Yes. The next one, honey. We're back in a thousand.
Smooth, natural honey complemented by hints of cream and toasted oak. None of these will be found in California. Vanilla. Cherry cream.
Rum and Coke. Rum and Coke. Strawberry daiquiri. Oh, fancy.
Delightful. All of them were offered in 5 and 3-8's Petite Corona Batola and come with a honey rum dipped cap. Ah. They're all honey rum dips, even the vanilla one?
That's what it says. Makes no sense. The company does not, well, they got them all confused, so now they just do them all that way. Hmm.
The company does not disclose specifics about the blender other than the cigars use premium Dominican pipe tobacco and natural wrapper. And then it took 12 years to come out. Well, he bought them before and then he, you know, wanted everyone to be able to try them, so he made more. Been saying all that.
He's just, you know, waiting on an investor. He's an investor. A radiologist. A radiologist who apparently backed out of a deal.
Cigars are produced at an undisclosed factory in the Dominican Republic, but it smells like pipe there, so they're easy to find. You can figure it out by walking in. They're not hard to find. I smell vanilla and peach.
Oh, where is this? Is this the John T factory? Pricing is set at? They're sold 25 cigars at a time, so we can do the individual prices here.
It's here. How much are these lovely little flavored jewels? $10. It's a Petite Corona.
Mm-hmm. Okay. Michael? $8.
$4. American? Per cigar. Per cigar.
Per cigar? Or $100 for $25. Do they only give you a good deal? That's a pretty good deal.
The cigars are currently available for retailers to order. The company has said that more flavor options will be available soon. Ooh. We're going to have cafe au lait, amaretto, cappuccino, and chocolate as they undergo repackaging for the new packaging.
They've got to make it look fancy. The company is bringing back the John T. 5x38, and John T. Short Tees, which are 4x30.
So, they're making a bunch of different ones. Bunch of little cigars. Bunch of little flavored cigars. Yeah.
Opus Gold Bullet Chips. Yay. This is from the company that's not the Fuente company, right? This is the, what is it?
Let's read on. Let's read on. Nearly 18 months after it was announced, the Gold Bullet is finally shipping to stores. The Opus X Gold Bullet is the sophomore cigar released from the Fuente Opus X Society.
The Society, that's it. That's who they are, yes. A collaboration between Arturo Fuente and Manny Errate. Is that how you say his name?
Errate? Oh, Enterprises. Sorry, it's a company. Sorry.
The cigar is a 6 3/4 by 50 Parejo, described at a different blend from the Opus X, La Edición de la Sociedad, the first released from the Opus X Society, neither blend has been disclosed. I'm not telling you what to tell you. Nope. Nope.
It's a surprise. A Toro Fuente produces the cigars, also not discloses the price. Not what's in them and not how much they cost. Probably going to be like 80 bucks.
Yeah, I would say something. We're not telling you. Are we getting these, Greg? Are we getting these, Greg?
That's a good question that we should discuss off-camera. I think we should get them. Do you? Yeah.
Okay. Not many, a couple of boxes, two, three boxes. Okay. Off-camera?
I live my life on camera. Just say yes, Greg. I mean, you're gonna argue, then you're gonna get them. No.
You might not even argue. No. All right, many enterprises do not list MSRP for its cigars. They don't tell anybody, but they listed pre-orders for between, ooh, $125 to $150.
So even more money than their current product that they produce. A total of 2,500 boxes of 12 cigars will be produced each year. When the cigar was first announced, it was said to be limited to just 1,500 boxes, but the pre-sale went really well, so now they made $2,500. Well, it's very limited, so we have to sell more.
Right, exactly. S. distributor for Eli Blue, is distributing a pair of gold and bullet-themed Eli Blue accessories. There's a reason to go with these cigars.
Well, you gotta buy them to get the cigars. Each is offered in two different colors. There's an Elie Blue C5 Cutter, Gold & Bullet, and an Elie Blue J12 Lighter, Gold & Bullet. They are not the same price, but guess.
There's a cutter and a lighter. Yes. $800. Wait, are you saying total or for separate?
Separate. Okay, he's at $800. For each lighter and cutter? That's what he is saying.
- 400. - Oh, Greg got exactly on the lighter. The lighter is 4. The cutter is 380 because, you know, it doesn't have a fuel thing.
- That's close enough to 4, I think. I think I did pretty good with that one. - See, but at 800, he was pretty close because it's 780. If he would've went for the pair.
- Ah, but he went for 1. - He went for a single. - Yeah. - That was your flaw, Michael.
- Yep. - He's awfully close to a nap over there. It is super close. - It's very late in the day for him.
Gellis Family Cigars Heritage No. 50 arrives at stores. What time are we at? 42:42.
Oh, I gotta watch the score if you want to skip this Gellis Family. Oh, that's okay. The debut release for the Gellis Family Cigars Heritage Series is heading to stores this week. Multiple retailers including, oh, apparently not us.
If you could just sit still. Like, I keep hearing the mic moving. Somebody's mic's moving. I think it's yours.
He was over there drinking his soda. I'm just reading. And begun selling the Gales Family Cigars Heritage #50 and 5x50, I'm not moving at all except for my mouth, Rabuso that was shown off at the 2026 PCA Convention at Trade Show, uses a Mexican San Andreas wrapper over a Nicaraguan binder and fillers from Nicaragua, it is made at Nicaragua, a lot of Nicaragua in this story. Oh, there it was, you were so good up until the last one.
A. , Nicaragua, for listing from the retailers each cigar is priced at $15 at the trade show, the company told Half Wheel that it would be in limited batches throughout the year, which the first batch limited to, how big's the first batch? 2,000 cigars. 2,500.
We're doing 300 boxes of 20 cigars. So, 6,000. Right, neither one of you are right. Gellis Family Cigars is a brand from Kyle Gellis.
He has the same last name. Try not to move! I'm trying not to move. Don't move.
I won. Best known as the founder of Warp Cigars and also the founder of Drop Cigar Club. I'm surprised that he gave half-wheel information, because normally he doesn't. Oh.
Hmm. Yeah. Maybe like Charlie's new haircut. Or maybe it wasn't Charlie.
Did Charlie get a haircut? No. Oh, okay. Greg had terribly...
I mean, he's got such long locks of hair. He's so beautiful. He's so handsome. He's such a handsome man.
He really is. The cigars are distributed by Warped. Warped. Now it's time to play...
What's the Score? Players get clues from a half-wheel cigar review and try to predict the score before it's revealed. As more details are shared, the challenge gets easier, or does it? The closest guest to the actual score wins the round.
Wow, that was premature. You were early, you have ED over there, can you read between the lines and predict the score? Let's play What's the Score? Today's Cigar, Brooks Woodington Cigars, it is a Rojas Cigar, Rojas Street Tacos, Carnitas Robusto, it is a Redux.
It's a Redux. It's a Redux. 90. 89.
Rojas Street Taco Carnita Robusto from Nicaragua, Rojas Cigar Factory Wrapper is Ecuador, Connecticut Seed, Binder, Filler is both from Nicaragua, 5x50 pressed and they only smoked one because of the Redux. 89. 88. Clue #1: Rich, evolving flavor profile with creamy peanut butter, toasted bread, cedar, coffee, and dark chocolate that keeps the smoking experience interesting from start to finish.
90. 89. Excellent construction with a razor-sharp burn, ideal draw resistance, and plenty of smoke production, making it an effortless cigar to enjoy. 90.
91. The retrohale becomes noticeably peppered forward in the second half, while the earlier brown sugar sweetness fades, making the profile a bit left balanced and slightly harsher towards the finish. Mmm. 90.
89. Final thought, in my first review, my main issue with the Roja Street Taco, Robusto, was a short-lived but significantly astringency in the first third. Along with some burn issues, I was hoping that some down time would solve both of those problems, and that proved to be the case, as this aged cigar showed no signs of either problem, while also gaining a new, frankly, more enjoyable brown sugar sweetness on the retrohale. The construction also improved dramatically, as this cigar featured razor-sharp burn lines, excellent draw, resistance, and plenty of smoke.
While time does not always heal all wounds, this is a better cigar after about four years of rest. Ninety. Mmm. Ninety.
You rat bastard. No matter what, you guys tied. You need to change. You need to change.
I thought I could pick the same number. Not the final one. What? You got to change.
You got to change. 89. Ding, ding, ding. 89.
Fuck you. You didn't win. Turn those off. But here, Michael, here's your chance.
What was the original score? 90. 84. 85.
He won twice. you gotta go I won twice you gotta do that like Boots does I don't wanna do that I wasn't really listening to this review I was tired he took three naps during that review he took three naps during the show alright anything else to add? com On Cigar Houses Podcast, like and subscribe if you're viewing this lepisode, this lepisode, there's leprosy in Florida, and thank you very much, we hope we provided great edutainment for you today, bye, alright we gotta go, bye, bloop.
Show Notes
On today’s show fight club goes Hawaii, The Sloth Investigation has been concluded by FWC. We had a shooting in orange city then in cigars a new tat some new flavors and an opus X then as always a whats The Score rematch