ACHP 587 Space X Blows Up The Moon?
Episode Summary
Episode 587 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast brings Michael Szczepankewicz back to the co-host chair alongside host Mike "BDP" Palmer and engineer Phil McGuffey, who debuts a new diamond-encrusted unicorn mask made by listener "David Hasselhoffman" (the previous butterfly mask went to auction winner Chris Weiss, with a bald eagle mask up next). The crew smokes a Leprechaun Dust and an ME II, both gifts from listener "T-Money," and works through CHPod Lounge and YouTube comments, including a welcome to new Canadian listener Coach Power Phil who binged 300 back episodes.
The news block opens with the discarded upper stage of a SpaceX Falcon 9 — launched in January 2025 with two commercial lunar landers — expected to slam into the moon near the Einstein crater at roughly 5,400 mph, sparking a tangent on space garbage, radar tracking of orbital debris, and whether an impact could nudge the moon's trajectory. From there: MySpace is prepping a relaunch built around customizable profiles, profile songs and the Top 8, per a new documentary featuring co-founder Chris DeWolfe and current owners at Viant Technology; federal agencies are investigating Iran-linked cyber attacks on water and wastewater systems in at least seven states (30-plus systems in Minnesota alone, plus Michigan); and a health segment on "gym penis," the temporary shrinkage caused by blood flow shifting during intense exercise, dehydration, cold weather and heavy caffeine.
Cigar news covers three real items. First, J.C. Newman is adding a 5 x 56 Robusto to its Yagua line — the unusual cigar that skips molds entirely, instead being bunched, rolled, banded and then wrapped tightly in a royal palm leaf for a year, producing odd triangular and hexagonal shapes; Palmer compares it to the La Campania de Panama Soberania from RoMa Craft's early days. Second, Scandinavian Tobacco Group's Forged Cigar Company and General Cigar Company raised prices August 3, 2026, averaging 4.2% at wholesale (about 3.5% net), topping out at a 15.3% bump on the Punch Deluxe Chateau Maduro, with the tariff import surcharge climbing from 6% to 7% — the hosts deliver a pointed retailer's-eye critique of separating tariffs as an invoice line item instead of building them into price. Third, Lampert is teasing the Limitada 2026, a box-pressed 6 x 54 Toro Extra with a Connecticut-seed wrapper made at Tabacos de Costa Rica, with the 2025 edition returning to shelves.
The show closes with a two-for-Tuesday round of "What's the Score?" using Charlie Minato's Half Wheel reviews: the Aventura Blue Eyed Jack's Revenge lancero (combustion problems, hollow profile, 84) and the El Güegüense 5th Anniversary perfecto (great flavor, frustrating draw and construction, 71 — a score that "broke the score sheet").
In This Episode
- 01Masks, Merch and Listener CommentsPhil's new diamond-encrusted unicorn mask, the butterfly mask auction winner, CHPod swag deals, and comments from the Lounge and YouTube.
- 02SpaceX Falcon 9 Stage Crashing Into the MoonA 40-foot, 10,000-pound rocket stage from a January 2025 launch is set to hit near the Einstein crater at 5,400 mph, raising questions about deep-space garbage.
- 03MySpace RelaunchA 2026 documentary reveals plans to bring back customizable profiles, profile songs and the Top 8 as an antidote to algorithm-driven social media.
- 04Iran-Linked Cyber Attacks on U.S. Water SystemsThe FBI, EPA and CISA are investigating hacks of internet-connected PLCs at water and wastewater utilities in Minnesota, Michigan and other states.
- 05"Gym Penis" Health SegmentWhy blood flow shifts during heavy lifting and cardio cause temporary shrinkage, and which symptoms actually warrant a doctor.
- 06J.C. Newman Yagua Gets a RobustoThe palm-leaf-wrapped, mold-free Yagua adds a 5 x 56 Robusto at $10.50, and the hosts explain how the process yields triangular and hexagonal shapes.
- 07STG August 2026 Price IncreaseForged and General Cigar raise wholesale prices an average of 4.2% while the tariff surcharge jumps from 6% to 7% — and why retailers hate the line-item approach.
- 08Lampert Limitada 2026 TeaserA box-pressed 6 x 54 Toro Extra with a Connecticut-seed wrapper from Tabacos de Costa Rica, plus the return of the 2025 edition.
- 09What's the Score? Two for TuesdayGuessing Charlie Minato's Half Wheel scores for the Aventura Blue Eyed Jack's Revenge lancero and the El Güegüense 5th Anniversary perfecto.
Brands & Cigars Discussed
Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.
Transcript
I'm back! Here we go peoples. Three. They were so much faster last week.
Five, two, one. You're about to laugh, I can't tell it. Welcome to a Cigar Houser Podcast where the cigars are premium and the opinions are unfiltered and the conversations have no boundaries. P.
Palmer, and then back in his co-host seat, Michael Szczepankewicz. Oh, thank God. I was getting tired of being in that chair. I'm tired of being on that chair.
Long week sitting over there, huh? Yeah. Hey, it's a hard chair to fill. I understand.
Da-dum-dum. Back from his latest on-location movie shoot, Ride My Horn: A Unicorn's Dream. Wow. Our engineer, our engineer, Phil McGuffey.
Hello, peoples, once again. All right, Phil, over there on your desk, there is an ME2 cigar? Yes. Yes, that is from Mr.
T-Money for the birth of Boots' child. Not your child, Boots' child. Thank you. Thank you very much.
think mine has it does it there you go yeah it does look at the cell i mean that the sarah's not even brown the cell the cello's brown yeah the cello is brown it's nice he's been sitting on that one for a while real team money spoiled you yeah thank you i appreciate that by the way team money i'm having a baby next week are you yeah congratulations we need more cigars all right as it is a new month we have a new mass from david hasselhoffman oh big watch so i believe If you have it over there with you, Phil, if you would turn around, take that one off, and put the new one on. On camera, or you want me to... Well, turn around, so you're not facing the camera. Well, jump to you.
Okay. Wait, wait, wait, turn around. Keep the mask on, hold on. Yeah, wait, I take the headphones off.
I got it, I'll handle this. Okay, you handle that. Keep the mask on, and see what the new one is. Ah, I got you, when he gets a reaction.
Yeah. Please be his face. This is very exciting stuff. This is very nice.
Take it out. Take it out so everybody can see. It's not just for you. That's nice.
I mean, I did request for the mouth and all that. I get it. That must be from your set of your previous movie. Yeah, from the movie you just finished.
Just so everybody knows, this is going to be super expensive to bid on. Look at all the diamonds. It's diamond encrusted. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Sparkly. It's next level. Yeah.
All right, so go ahead and put your new gear on, jump off of you, and there you go. Perfect. That's fine. Go ahead, Palmer.
You don't have to watch them change. That's a little weird. Whether it's cigars, sports, business, current events, pop culture, or the craziest stories making headlines, if it's worth talking about, we're gonna talk about it. That's right.
No scripts, no safe spaces, just honest conversation, big laughs, and and the kind of show that can go from premium cigars to absolute chaos in a matter of seconds. Every episode. It looks so good on you. It's comfortable.
Isn't it comfortable? It's a lot more comfortable. Why did you try it on? Of course.
Of course we did. Everybody said that. Yeah. Everybody?
Yeah. Not Keanu. We have pictures of everyone. Yeah, Keanu tried it on.
Yeah. Wow. He did this weird thing where he made the horn his penis. Yeah.
It was kind of strange. Every episode of real conversations, different perspectives, and plenty of unexpected turns along the way, so settle in and welcome back to a Cigar Hustlers podcast. Dun-da-dun! Thank you very much.
On today's show, a SpaceX rocket's gonna crash! Uh-oh. MySpace is back. Really?
Uh-oh. Iran is after our water. Ooh. We thirsty.
Mikey may have a disease. Oh, really? You might. Then in cigars, we have a new cigar, a price increase of major proportions, and a teaser of a cigar.
A cigar cigar? I don't know what that is. Then a two for Tuesday once a score, but first, Mikey, catch us up on the CH Pod happenings. Ooh, a double snap.
Like and subscribe if you're reviewing and listening to this show. com for all your CH Pod swag, where we currently release the Wing Hazars, buy one, get the second one 40% off. Spend $100 more and get free shipping. We got a bunch of orders in.
Oh, did we? Yeah. We got a bunch of orders in. We're sorting through them.
They should start shipping out today, just so you know. Nice. So I don't want to go out and rattle all the names off, but thank you very much for your support. We appreciate all of you.
Yes. Some comments from the CH pod. Do I sound OK? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, normal. All right. Other than the thing in my ear.
But Lisa, you're not going to hear that. It's quieter now. Yeah. It's quieter now?
Yeah. Alright, some comments from the CH Pod Lounge from the previous episode. Let's see if there's any. T Money says, "For what's the score?
I feel like if someone picks a number first, the other person can pick the same number. However, if it's not dead on, they automatically lose. " Okay. I don't know, that sounds like a lot to me.
I'm lost. Can you read that one more time? I don't really want to. It's something that happened on the yesterday's show.
No, I think it was yesterday's? Yeah, yeah. So we wouldn't let Greg pick the same number. It was the final score.
Yeah. Yeah, you're not, I mean, really not supposed to. We don't want to result in a tie. Right.
You know? Was Greg doing that because he was scared to lose? I think so. yeah yeah uh coach power phil says gentlemen i've done it starting in may i've listened to the previous 300 episodes and finally feel comfortable enough to leave a comment you've got yourselves another loyal canadian listener hey looking forward to the next 300 how about that cheers from your great northern neighbor oh thank you coach power phil yeah welcome to the fold my friend Yes, you've already surpassed our other Canadian friend in episodes.
Yeah. And he's just reading summaries now. Right. He's doing the, uh, the cliff notes, and he's still got beat.
" Hmm. Yep, this is true. Hmm. And, uh, Wednesday wienering.
Wednesday wienering. Yeah. From the mayor of... Minnesota.
Minnesota. Minnesota. " That's definitely you. - What?
Why did BDP thank Coach for kind words? - 'Cause he said they used-- - Oh, you're in CHPod. Yeah, yeah, that's me. The Real BDP is me in CHPod.
- Oh. Okay. - Yeah, I'm not denying that. I thought you had moved out to the other one already.
- No, no. " See, like that? So, did you just jump to YouTube comments? Yeah.
Oh, okay. Sorry, I was distracted by the encrusted diamond mask sparkling right here. He should have definitely put, like, one right on the tip. It probably wouldn't stay.
I like that you're critiquing it. Well, I mean, everything could be better, right? Sure. I mean, it's great, but I'm just saying.
Sure. At Ben Rowland says, "Would love to have an edit function on the lounge for Palmer's typos on his 18 accounts. " Listen, shoeless Joe, keep your shoes on. The band's going as fast as he can.
At T Money says, "Mikey is highly agitated today. " Oh, I would love one of those. Maybe a little bit. Maybe it was a little agitated.
I just feel like, I was just tired of being in that chair. you know I'm just over it tough spot yeah welcome back it's not the real light you know like that chair over there I just get to like I get to relax and kind of be myself in this chair right just commenting no actual yeah worky worky yeah right sitting over here wouldn't have made it any better no I mean we couldn't put Greg in either one of these two chairs no so at Florida Man 1888 says Triple G and Palmer Palmer Getting Mikey Agitated At The Start Was Hilarious, When Does Palmer and Triple G Get Live Bugs In The Mail From You, Mike? Love The Show, Guys. Uh, I don't need, I just, um, I just pummel them in person, I don't send them.
They can send us live bugs? Yeah. It's an eBay reference, Phil. Yeah.
Oh. There was an eBay story last week. Well, I mean, Greg did get the, uh, the glittery dicks at one time. He did?
Yeah. Yeah, but that's all you're doing. Yeah, but it was a great male joke. Yeah, I wish you'd bring back some of that, some of that harassing to him.
Well, I mean, for a little bit though, I felt like I was hurting his feelings. Yeah. Well, what happened was I think he disconnected Palmer's car. Yeah, he thought I did something and he disconnected my alternator or something in the car.
Yeah, he was attacking Palmer. It was getting out of hand, you know, on Greg's side. So I was like, you know what, maybe we should just quit a little bit. Maybe we should walk this back a smidge.
Before Greg puts a bomb in Palmer's car. All right, a banana in my tailpipe. " That must be you. That's not me.
That's you. That's not me. I'm the one in the other place. " That was funny.
Yeah, it was pretty funny. @CW also said, "I didn't want to, but I laughed way too hard at Submarine. P. " Yeah, listen man, it's just, it's all in fun, it's all humor, it's all in jokes, and, you know.
Listen, the world is a very cold, dark place. Yes. And if you can't laugh at things, you know. Right.
It's not good, so. And finally I have at David Hasselhoffman, I imagine Phil floating on his back like an otter with boiled peanuts on his belly, just taking them in and chucking them onto the beach. Must not be vacationing on my beach. I wouldn't stand for that.
How were the boiled peanuts? Well, yeah, I guess I called you or whatever, and I'm guessing I was a part of the show in that whole thing. First of all, I do like boiled peanuts. I know.
But I like the Cajun ones. Right. But I'm not going in the water. It was in the sand.
Oh, in the sand? Well, he said I was a landing. That's his visioning. Oh.
He sent me a lovely AI image of an otter with an eagle mask on with his belly covered in boiled peanuts. No, they were great. Yeah? So it was you?
No. I feel like it was you. No. There was a cigar out there, too, and that was you.
On the beach? Uh-huh. I did have a cigar, but I bury my cigars. Not this one.
I dig a hole with the heel of my foot. Yeah. I bury it. Just break it apart.
Yeah, I just put it in the hole. That's silly. Just break it apart. I guess, yeah.
Turn it into leaves. Yeah. So you know, congratulations, Chris Weiss, you are the the auction winner for the previous I can't do it. Yeah, no, you can't.
Don't ever do that again. That was terrible. It was like more like a clownish one. Yeah, that was really bad.
Congratulations. You are the winner of the Phil's butterfly mask. Oh, nice. The bald eagle Phil's eagle mask will be coming up today as well for bidding.
Yeah. If you guys like America, that's the one to bid on. That's the one to bid on. So we're going to get that rolling today.
It was very solid, I was noticing today while I was getting it out of the box. Yeah, well, as he's making more, they get more. Yeah. 'Cause this one's pretty solid, too.
And we gotta figure out how to send... I gotta reach out to David Hasselhoffman and figure out how to send him cash. Ah. You know.
Gotta take care of our guy. Yeah. Oh, God, I almost knocked over my Red Bull. Oh, no.
What do we got for the Patreon today, Michael? What are we smoking today, Michael? I just asked you. Oh.
Not what I'm smoking. That's not what I'm smoking. Are you out here? We are doing the leprechaun dust.
Ooh. Look at that. Also a gift for Mr. T-Money.
Oh, thank you. He's a good guy. He said he's tired of hearing you whine. He was tired of hearing me whining by the leprechaun dust?
Yeah, but not ever getting to try leprechaun dust. You know what? I appreciate that. See, that's a cigar community right there.
Right? Ooh, yeah. It's got a nice... It's got a nice...
It's got a nice odor to it. Does it? Kind of fruity. That's right up Phil's alley.
Yeah. Wow. Kind of fruity. Kind of fruity.
com, us, Cigar Hustlers podcast. If you pay for the full year, you're going to get 10% off. Shout out to our newest guy, Lance. Who is Lance now?
You mentioned that you knew who he was. The bicycle guy. He was the person that commented recently. Oh.
He's a new listener. Oh, is that the Canadian? I don't think he's a Canadian. Oh, gotcha.
He's the other new listener. Yeah. I don't see their names. Only you do.
I only see their handles. No, no. This was on the regular channel, I believe. Oh, well, still, I don't see his name.
But I say it when I read out the comments. Oh, did you say? Did you say? Well, but I mean, you say, like CCW, you say CCW 98998 or whatever.
You don't say Chris. But maybe it was @Lance. Oh, maybe it was. I wish he would change his handle to Lance Armstrong.
That'd be great. That would be great. Oh, that would be great. If you could fix that for us, we would like you to be Lance Armstrong.
I think you should just leave it the way it is. Don't listen to a man in a unicorn mask and the old guy who doesn't even remember we had the conversation. Well, then we'd have two celebrities. But I would remember Lance Armstrong and then we would have two celebrities, like the man in the pink mask.
Yeah, we'd have the bicycle guy and we'd have the beach guy. Right. Two celebrities. Two celebrities.
Alright, well, let's get on with the show, gentlemen. Alright. Alright, the news! A discarded SpaceX rocket stage is expected to slam into the moon this week in a rare unplanned collision that scientists around the world are eager to study.
Wait till you get that done. It's interfering with the static in my ear. I think I'm finished. The object is the upper stage of a Falcon 9 rocket launched in January 2025.
For some reason, my finger was on two the whole time. Oh my God. I saw the corner of my eye, I see you over there doing stuff with your finger, I'm like, what is he doing? Falcon 9 rocket launched in January 2025, which carried two commercial lunar landers on their mission.
After completing its job, the rocket stage was left in deep space where gravitational forces gradually altered its path. Apparently, when we launch stuff into space, we just let it go. Yeah, they say there's a lot of trash out there. Yeah, they say there's a lot of trash out there.
It's kind of like when, you know, back in the day when people were on boats, and they're kind of, you know, just traveling, just throw the shit overboard. Yeah, same idea. Yeah. Right.
And then all of a sudden, we're like, cleaning the ocean. I read an article one time that they practice radar tracking and things by locking on to certain pieces of space trash. Really? And they follow it around.
It's like a landmark? Space mark? Well, I don't think it's always in the long, it's not always in the same place, but I think that there's like levels. See how far it goes.
Well, they go like, okay, if you wait a minute, something's gonna come by in level, I don't know, whatever they call them, let's say it's level 3, so they sit there, and then they lock on, and then they track it as it goes around. Space garbage. Space garbage. Astronomers now predict the 40-foot-long, roughly 10,000-pound rocket stage will strike the moon at approximately 5,400 miles per hour near the Einstein crater on August 5th.
I kind of like the Einstein Crater. Einstein as a crater? It's about to get an additional marking. Yeah, it's about to get a new hole.
While the impact poses no danger to Earth, as far as we know, it is expected to create a new crater and send a cloud of lunar dust high above the surface. 5,000 miles an hour? 5,400 miles an hour, 10,000 pounds, 40 feet long. What Mach is that?
By your calculations, it's Mach 1. Well, there's no sound in space, so they can't say it's a Mach. I'm guessing, I don't know. 5,000 miles an hour sounds fast.
It does sound fast, and supposedly you could see it. I don't think we could see it here, but if you had a telescope, you could see it. Do you think it could, like, impact the trajectory of the moon? That's what I'm thinking, what if it makes the moon move?
What if it slows it down just a smidge? Or brings it a little bit closer to where it messes up the weather or something. Oh, weather messer-upper? Could be, you never know.
It changes the gravitational pull or something. What do we do at that point? I feel like this isn't the first time this ever happened. Do we go after Elon?
Well, we can't get Bruce Willis to fly up there and fix it. He can't remember anything. No, he's not dead. He just can't talk and he doesn't remember things.
Yeah, but in the movie you're talking about, he died. Well, yeah, but the guy's still alive. I mean, they trained him to do it. Armageddon 2.
Right. The lunar problem. Don't want to miss a thing. Oh, well, you still got Ben Affleck, though, and now he's Batman, so, you know, he can do it.
He's no longer Batman. He's not Batman? Well, and depends on the movie, when they do the Justice League movies, he's Batman. That's gone now.
I thought they were doing a new one. Are they? I think so. Stop it.
I think they are. I don't think you know what you're talking about. Well, if we're not sending a stupid vampire guy to fix anything. He's the new Batman.
Ah, he's the sparkly vampire guy. There is no official live-action Justice League movie currently scheduled. How about Wonder Woman? Is he going to be a Wonder Woman?
Do you think there's a new Wonder Woman movie? I don't know. I'm grasping at straws here, Michael. I think they've beat that up.
Yeah, the second one was terrible. I think they're gonna have a new X-Men movie. Ooh, a new Wonder Woman movie is officially in development. There we go.
Ha ha. Grasping at straws. Yep. They got Batman in there?
Oh, it's completely separate from previous films. Oh, we're pretending like nothing has happened in the other one. Is it the Gadot lady? I don't think so.
No, you're using Tiffany Haddish now. Who's that? Serious? Who's that?
That's a comedian. That's a comedian lady who has her own talk show. Yeah. She's not going to be, well, you know, they're being inclusive, they could be.
Oh, I'm not going along with what you just said. That wasn't racist. I didn't say it was, I was just saying I'm not involved. You're just not talking about it.
Yeah, don't you mention anything over there. Oh, my Lord. Scientists hope telescopes on Earth along with the lunar orbiters operated by NASA in South Korea. Not North, South Korea, these are the good Koreans.
Yeah. We'll capture the event before and after impact. The data could improve understanding of how impacts behave on the moon, how debris spreads across the surface, and how future lunar missions can better prepare for similar hazards. I don't see how that works.
I mean, I think it's good to collect the data. Yeah, but why do we need to know how things crash into the moon? I think that there's probably some benefits to it. - Yeah?
- Yeah, as far as understanding trajectory, landing, and all these other things. - Oh. - You know, when we eventually go to the moon? - Yeah, right.
We have to screw up this planet, and we have to go somewhere else. - Yeah. - I wouldn't recommend going to the moon. - It is the closest one.
- It is, but there's not a lot there. - Well, maybe they're gonna find out from this how they can farm the earth, or farm the moon. - Farm the earth? - Farm the moon.
They did it on Mars. Why couldn't they do it on the moon? - They farmed Mars? - Yeah.
- Yeah? - Yeah. - Are you sure? - I saw the movie, The Martian.
- Yeah? And they started farming it? Yeah, he grew potatoes. He grew potatoes?
He grew potatoes. And poop. So that's happening right now? No, no, no.
They got him back home. Nobody's doing it now. So there's no more potatoes? Not on Mars.
He ate them all. Okay. The event also highlights a growing concern as more countries and private companies and missions beyond Earth what happens to spacecraft after the mission and experts say better planning for disposing of deep space garbage will become increasingly important as exploration of the moon accelerates. I threw in garbage, they said hardware, but that's just a nice way to see it.
Basura. Basura, right. That's for the Latin community. Alright, back on Earth.
We're back on Earth now. Thank God. Myspace, once the dominant social networking platform in the mid-2000s, is preparing for a relaunch with a focus on features that made the site popular before algorithm-driven social media became the norm. Did you have a Myspace page or are you two yet?
I did. Did you? Yeah. I did, it's probably still there.
Yeah, but who knows what my login, I mean, I have no idea. Yeah. I don't think you had Napier Auto back then. I may have.
Maybe. We were all friends with Steve. Yeah, he was the first friend. I thought it was Tom.
Oh, it is Tom. It is Tom. Yeah. It is Tom.
That wasn't on Facebook? Tom? No, no, it was that picture of him sitting there going, or pointing at something. On the computer?
" I'm about to make millions. The plans were revealed in the 2026 documentary, MySpace, which appeared at the Hot Docs Film Festival in Toronto. That's where all the good films debut. Oh yeah, Toronto?
At the Hot Docs. You Neanderthal. Current owners, Tim and Chris Vanderhoek, whose company, Viant Technology, acquired MySpace, outlining their vision for bringing the platform back with emphasis on music, friendship, and peace. And user customization.
Mm-hmm. Wasn't that the Facebook dudes? No. Yeah, yeah.
There was somebody that tried to take over Facebook. I thought. You mean the twins that originally, allegedly created it and then Zuck leveled it up? Oh, are these the twins?
Yeah. I don't know. I thought they were the Vanderhooks. It might be.
I'll have to look that up. Who are the twins that allegedly created Facebook? Do you want me to use JaiCBG for this? Yes, please.
please. Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss. Oh, Winklevoss. I knew it was a weird name.
Oh, Winklevoss. Yeah, that's almost Vanderhook. That's not even close. Yeah, it's a weird name, though.
Are they Canadian? Maybe that's where you got confused. Yeah. Let me see here.
Are they Canadian? Oh, it's gone already. The Winkles? It's gone already.
I feel like I need to move this up a little higher. The Winkles sound like they're from, like, Greenland or something. The documentary also features MySpace co-founder Chris DeWolf. Oh.
Still not one of them. Also the creator of Facebook. Yes, still not one of them. The legends.
Who says there's growing demand for a social network centered on genuine connections rather than content design. It didn't stay on. Obviously, yes. You just go ahead over there.
I'm sorry. Is that better? No. How's that?
I thought it sounded fine before you started messing with it. Well, I could hear my breath every once in a while. We've discussed the fact that you're not allowed to adjust things mid-show. Do you have a rosary?
We said that last week when you screwed it up mid-show. We had to start over. Oh. Do you have a rosary on your pectoral?
No, it's my headphones. Oh. Should've said yes. Thank you for noticing my pectoral.
Should've said yes on the rosary. Rather than content designed to maximize screen time, in an interview with People Magazine, everybody goes to People for the information, DeWolf said he believes recommendations, algorithms, my phone is going off like crazy over here, have contributed to the addictive nature of today's social media platforms. According to the relaunch plans, the new MySpace will restore several of the site's signature features, including customizable profile pages, profile songs, and the return of the iconic Top 8 Friends. We get it.
Do you think there's a need for this, for MySpace to do this? I don't know if there's a need, but I think it'll work. You honestly think some people are going to go back to MySpace? Yeah, the guys my age that are tired of Facebook and all the ads and everything, they'll go back to something they knew before.
So this is like vintage, like old records are in, this is the newest thing? - I think this is, yeah, the newest, oldest thing. - The newest, ooh, we're back in MySpace. - Right, ooh, we're back in MySpace.
- I don't think so. What do you think, Phil? - I mean, things are trending back to vintage. - Yeah?
- Yeah. So maybe. - Are you gonna go back to MySpace? - Yeah, I love putting my music video on and stuff.
- Yeah? - Yeah. That was pretty cool. - So you're gonna do it?
- Yeah. - I think they do it. When you logged in, they got to hear a song. - Yeah.
- Yeah. - This is MySpace. - This is MySpace. These are my top eight friends.
Look at these people. Lashes, colors, different backgrounds. Oh, yeah. You need to move your microphone to the other side.
Yeah? Yeah. It's not good, man? Yeah, because when you were talking to Palmer, you sounded further away.
Figured another room. Yeah, further away. Wow, you should have left it where it was. I guess so.
I'll bring it back down. I'm sorry to stress you out. That's perfect. Well, you're not stressing me out.
My nose is very itchy today. Well, you should back off on the cocaine before the show. If I did, then I wouldn't be able to perform. Good point.
Maybe you need to up it. Up it? Up the cocaine. Or do drugs.
That's how a lot of them die when they do that. Or do drugs. It's just Red Bull. Caffeine?
That comes in later. Red Bull is caffeine. Oh, that's how I'm going to die? Is that what you're talking about?
No, no. It's a new disease I have? A new disease. That's part of it.
Iran is playing dirty. S. states, with investigators focusing on possible links to Iran-backed hackers. Oh.
We blow up their water, now they're coming after us. I mean, that would make sense. It does. It tracks.
Well, they're Iran-based trackers? Iranian-based hackers. Oh, hackers. Hackers.
Yeah, they're hacker-trackers. Why don't we just get rid of them? I'm sorry. Get rid of all of them?
Wipe them off the planet. Yeah, just wipe them off, man. Look, here, now we've got another problem. They don't necessarily have to be in Iran to hack us, but they could be Iranian people.
Oh here? They could be here, who knows? They're just saying Iran-backed hackers. That doesn't necessarily even mean they're from Iran, they might just be getting their equipment from Iran.
Yeah, I never understood that. Like if you were, if you came over, like if you were a spy or something like that, you're like okay I'm gonna go in and I'm gonna infiltrate, and like you got here and you're like... I'm a secret. Damn, this is pretty nice, Bucky's is pretty dope, you know what I mean?
You know what I mean? Like, this is, this is pretty, why would we want to destroy this? I love these bucky-nuckets. Look, I get the barbecue beef.
It's great. I can eat pork over here. It's amazing. You know, it's just like.
Yeah, why would they want to hack us? Yeah, you just come back. So they gotta be over there. Yeah.
You know what I mean? They're not over here. Well, uh, yeah, the, their version of the one percenters, they come over here and they do, you know, the little secret meetings. The I Hate America.
I Hate America. Yeah. Yeah, but just do the bomb buggy. And then they go into their AC home and they realize, like, oh, I set it to 75.
Yeah, no more hot. 75, that's hot. Yeah, it's perfect. That's a lot cooler than where they're from.
Yeah, it's a lot cooler than 110 bucket. What's the temperature of a nuclear bomb? I don't tell you that much. It's really hot.
Yeah, but if you just cut the pesos off, then nobody can hack anymore. The peso, what? Whatever their money is. Whatever the money is.
If you just cut the... Pesos? Iranian money is pesos? What would it be?
It's based on the Mexican economy? Yeah. I don't know. Now we've gone full circle.
Yeah. Dinar. I don't know. What is it over there?
Oh, Dinar. Dinar sounds good. Let's go with that. Are you looking at what's Iranian money called?
I'm gonna look it up. It's actually oil. Oil. A carrier on little cups of oil.
Here's one drop. Sorry, sir. That will be three ounces? For bread, that's amazing.
That's ridiculous. Ridiculous! Wait, don't go into my computer. Don't go into my computer.
It's the Rial. Rial? Rial? Rial.
The Iranian Rial. Oh. People commonly use the Tomin in everyday speech. Oh, the Tomin.
I have so many Tomins in them. Yeah, because the Rial is like just a slang word for Canadian whiskey. Is it? Yeah.
Okay, so now you're covering Mexico and Canada when it comes to Iran. Yeah. They don't know what they're doing over there. I got it.
Okay, I get you. According to the FBI, Environmental Protection Agency, and the Cyber Security and Infrastructure Security Agencies, a lot of people are checking this thing out, the attacks involve internet connected industrial control systems known as programmable logic controllers or PLCs. See, that's the problem there, they can get access through the internet. These devices help operate pumps, valves, and other equipment that control water and distribution and water treatment.
Can't we just shut down the one antenna they got over there for the internet? Well, that's what I'm saying, they could already be here. You think so? They come over as students.
Just look for the big piece of foil. They come over as students? They come over as students, they go to our universities, we teach them how to do this, then they attack us. Now you really are sounding like an old man, you know what I mean?
I read an article the other day that, hold on, this disputes everything I just said. What they do is they come over here and like you said, they enjoy America, they like the freedom, they like buckies, and they're like, I don't want to go back. Yeah, fuck that place. I don't want to go back over there.
I'm not coming back. I'm not a spy anymore. I like these people. Yeah, what happened to him?
We lost him. We lost him. We lost him to the enemy. We lost him to the Bucky Nuggets.
Yeah, he's floating in a pool, eating boiled peanuts, throwing the shells down. Wearing an eagle mask. Wearing an eagle mask. I love America.
I love America. My name is no longer Muhammad. I am now Michael. You may call me Bill.
Yeah. Officials say more than 30 water systems in Minnesota were affected, While additional incidents have been reported in Michigan and several other states. Man, Minnesota's just so fucked up. We got a mayor asking for Wiener Wednesday, we got the Somalian daycare.
That's right, Somalian daycare. Now the water's messed up. Now they're putting poop back in the water. I feel like, what's going on in Minnesota?
Don't go there, whatever it is, just don't go. I gotta go there! When are you going to Minnesota? I'm going!
Oh, that's where the Manny's in Minnesota. He needs to move. And then Ramsey's is there. Oh.
Yeah. You're going to do another event at Ramsey's? I'm going to go check in. Oh, okay.
Wait, when are you going? You going the same time I'm going? That could be a problem for him. What day?
16th to the 23rd. Oh boy, yeah. Are you really? Something like that.
Uh oh. There'll be some best ofs that week. It might be the 22nd, that Friday? Uh oh.
I feel like it's that Friday. Alright, some utilities experienced temporary loss of water pressure, flooding, or disruptions that required operators to switch to manual control. Oh my god, you know how cool that would be? Is if he runs it and we plug two people in here?
I think he's gotta upload and everything. That would be amazing. I don't know how to do anything. No, he doesn't.
If it's recorded on Friday. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Oh. Authorities say there is no evidence that drinking water quality or public safety was compromised, so you're fine. Minnesota's a train wreck. I don't know what to tell you.
Well, make sure you take Wieners with you. For Wiener Wednesday? For Wiener Wednesday. I won't be there on Wiener Wednesday.
Maybe they can reschedule it for you that week. Yeah. Can you move it to Friday? Can I have Frankfurter Friday?
Frankfurter Friday. Federal investigators have not officially attributed the tax, but officials say the activity is consistent with previous operations linked to Iranian cyber groups. The incidents come amid heightened tensions between the United States and Iran and follow recent federal warnings that critical infrastructure, including water systems, remain a potential target for foreign cyber operations. Let's go hit the antenna, call it a day.
I don't know what's the problem. The FBI and the EPA and stuff are urging people to disconnect from the internet. They need to upgrade their systems. Disconnect from the internet?
Well, that's the problem. That's how they get in. All water treatment plants are not connected by PLCs to the internet. Okay, this sounds, I mean, this is a totally different language than what I, go ahead.
I mentioned this earlier in the article. Yeah, yeah. But I wasn't paying attention. We don't pay attention, yes.
The problem is, in Minnesota, Michigan, and a couple other states, they can get into the water system, which goes through the internet, because they have people at home working on the systems. Well, see, this is the whole stay home thing, that's the problem. Right, just unplug them. Just have them go into the office.
Right, take the wire out of the router and then they can do it, then it's fine. see that let's all get back to work solve the problem here we're all done what are we doing all right next story next mikey we're all worried for you that's a relief all right i'm glad somebody's worrying about me a growing number of men are talking about what's being called gym penis gym penis this is a legit thing i didn't make this up Okay. Wow. A condition that can be alarming if you don't know what's happening.
During intense exercise, your body shifts blood away from non-essential areas and sends it to the heart, lungs, and working muscles. Okay. That reduces blood flow, combining with muscle contractions in the groin, and can cause a penis to shrink in size. Really?
The effect can be even more noticeable during heavy weightlifting, long-distance running, or high-intensity interval training, especially if you're dehydrated. Uh huh. Exercising in cold weather or consuming large amounts of caffeine, aka Red Bull. Oh.
Doctors say the condition is usually harmless, usually. Usually. And resolves once the workout is over, blood flow returns to normal and the body rehydrates. However, medical experts warn that men should not ignore symptoms that go beyond temporary shrinkage.
Mm. Persistent pain. Is that persistent pain down there? No.
Numbness. Dumbness? Only when I look at you. Discoloration?
Nope. Again, just when you look at me? What type of discoloration? It doesn't say.
Because maybe I'm going to go work out. What type of discoloration? What exact color am I looking for? Swelling, difficulty urinating, erectile dysfunction, or changes that-- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Swelling is the opposite of what you just said. Yeah, yeah. No, no, not the penis. It says shrinkage.
The balls. The balls swell? Yes. Well, because the blood doesn't go to the penis, it's stopped at the balls when it comes back because the veins got damaged in the shrinking.
I'd like to know how many people they tested for this. " The don't improve after recovery could point to a more serious vascular or urological problem that should be evaluated by a healthcare professional while gym penis itself is considered a normal response to strenuous exercise, Experts say, "Understanding the difference between a temporary change and symptoms of a medical emergency is important. I'm a concern for you, Mike. Thank you for looking out for my penis.
" So, we have Dr. Chris Baldwin waiting right outside. He's going to come in and check for you on camera. He's going to check my balls and my penis?
He's going to check your penis for vascular damage. That's a relief. He has one. He has one.
He's going to check the It's one of those ultrasound machines, a small one, so you can, you know, check you. Perfect. With the jelly. You know what's kind of important?
With the jelly, right? You know, it's like, I know we're making jokes about this, but you know what is kind of important is, like, sauna-ing or some type of cardiovascular activity. Is it the headphone crackle or is it the speaker crackle? No, no, he's crackling, crackling.
Like the old... Talk again? Like the old ones. Don't you dare say that.
That's what it sounds like. Am I crackling, crackling? No, you're good right now. You were, though.
You were, though. Yeah. That was weird. Yeah.
Anyway, what's important, sorry? Is some type of cardiovascular activity. That increases blood flow throughout the body, right? So you like saunting, you know, stuff like that.
For the penis to grow. So you think it makes it go back? Is that what you're saying? That increases blood flow, yeah.
Ah, so. Because apparently the problem is, as you are working out, it's going, this is not important at the moment. Well, it isn't. Right, it's not what you do with the other stuff.
It isn't important at the moment, yeah. Right, and sometimes the blood doesn't go back fast enough. It doesn't go back? Yes.
All right. I'll start measuring it daily for you. Be careful. Maybe wear looser workout shorts or something.
Looser? What does he wear, Spanx? I'm assuming. Jesus.
Like bicycle shorts? I don't know what you wear. I feel like this is a completely made up story, just by the way. No, no, it's a legit story.
I mean, I worked out for a long period of time in my life. Yeah, if my winter works perfectly fine, I'll just have another kid. Yeah, but look how long it's been since he worked out. It's all come back to normal now.
It's returned? It's returned. That's good. Well, we don't want any more babies.
Well, yeah, but you don't want it to rot and fall off, either. It's not rotting. Did it say that? Yeah, I mean, I'm sure it says, you know, normally.
I'm sure the discoloration is that, you know, no blood's going back to it. It starts turning weird colors. Oh, yeah? Like purple?
I don't know what the color would be for a lack of blood in your penis. Black would be better. Black would be better. Black would be better.
I don't think it's bigger when it's black. I don't think that's what happens. Maybe it appears bigger. I don't know.
Maybe. I guess you're right. Black is very slimming. That makes it look smaller again.
Gives it that chisel look. Oh, I see. I got you. Like a hammer.
Maybe you could get one of those, that story we did a couple of years ago, where they were stealing them and taking them from Africa. Black penises? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
That was a very good story. Yeah. We couldn't stop laughing for 45 minutes. All right.
Moving on to Cigar News. As long as your penis is okay now. It's fine. All right.
We'll check back later in the week. I'm going to show you later. Are we doing it? So wait, hold on.
There's no video anymore because I noticed you didn't even ask. No, I don't ask unless he brings it up. We're not supposed to talk about it unless he brings it up. Yeah, Phil.
Sorry, sorry. Yeah, Phil. I was confused. Next.
It's his first day. I had one of a guy, Powstanie Palmer, he was talking about, he did the little wipe thing again, and then he was talking about it. But I was just wiping sweat off my face. I know, I know.
Well, no, you do the face and you do the neck. It wasn't as good. Well, because I was literally just wiping sweat off my face. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaking of, I'm sorry. Speaking of dicks. You got them on your brain? No, did you guys see the new Kevin Hart and, God, what's the Cuban guy's name from SNL?
I forget his name. 72 Hours? Yeah, 72 Hours? No.
I didn't watch it. I'm not going to ruin it for you. Is it good? Yeah, it's actually pretty good, yeah.
Yeah? I don't know. I got news for you. You started this conversation with speaking of dicks, and I'm not intrigued to watch it.
Well, can I tell you? Sure. Spoiler alert, just so you know. Yeah, there's this part at the end where they get shoved down into the ocean because they're on a deserted island all of a sudden, and they have to float back on whale dicks.
Nice. What? They float? " That's what he loved, he loved it.
Listen to him. I did watch Spider-Man too, by the way. Did you? Yeah, it was good.
What'd you think? It was good, and you know what, I went and watched it in 4D and 3D. It was dope. I saw it in 3-D as well.
Yeah, it was good. I didn't think it was great. I thought it was good. I mean, it's not as action-packed as, you know, the other ones.
Yeah. But, I mean, it was a good storyline. Bring it back. I hated the storyline.
Really? Yeah. But he, like, people start remembering. Or, I'm sorry.
Don't ruin it. Jeez. It's kind of like Palmer. Listen, I'm not, this is rhetorical.
Yeah, sorry. This is a rhetorical question. Who's the bad guy in the movie? I mean, really, the girl.
Okay. Really? Really? I mean, you know.
Without? You can't? Yeah. You know what I'm saying?
Yeah. I get it. Maybe Frank? No.
Definitely not. And they made him goofier, which I didn't like either. Stop giving up the movie. I haven't seen it yet.
You're not going to? You don't know where we're talking about. Yeah, yeah. Connor and I are going to go.
Yeah? Where'd you see it in 3D at? At the regular movie theater. I don't know what that is for you.
Altamont Mall. Altamont? Yeah. Hey, if you go to Epic, I watched it in 4D at Epic.
You know what's weird? 4D where the chairs move? Yeah, they moved, they had little puffs of air and the fans. I didn't know they had that at Epic.
Oh, yeah. You want to know what's weird about movies? What? So, like, you buy in advance now, right?
Yeah. And I was looking at times and trying to figure it out, and, like, the only time I could really find that was, like, had some level of decent seating was, like, 9:15 in the morning. So we went at 9:15 in the morning, and we get there, and like, what's cool about booking the seats early is you can just stroll in, right? Yeah, whatever.
So yeah, so you know, I strolled in like right at previews, I was good to go. But the movie theater was still like 75% empty, even though I couldn't get those seats. Oh, the seats were blocked, but you couldn't get them. That's weird.
How weird is that? Like they're, like they're fabricating, you know, uh, To make you sit somewhere else. Yeah. I wonder why they're doing that.
I have no idea. Yeah, I don't know. But it pissed me off. I'm like, this, like this place is not.
Well, then why don't you just move when the movie started? Because there's seven of us. All right, let's relocate. Right.
No, I'm sitting there. I got Teddy locked down. I'm good. I'm not, we're not, we're not moving again.
Yeah, the only, the only, the only, the only The only time we could go to see it in the next couple of days was last night. We went at 11:20 a night. That's insane. Yeah.
I was so tired. But it was good. It was all right. Supergirl's better.
It's already out on video. Is it? Yeah. I did like Supergirl though.
All right. C. Newman's, how do you say this one? Yageru?
Yageru. Yageru line, one of the more unique cigars on the market today, He's getting a second Vitola. Next week, the company will begin shipping the Yaguru Robusto, a 5x56 extension for the line. It has an MSRP of?
$10. JC Newman, yeah, probably $12. 50 per cigar. BlendWise uses a Connecticut Broadleaf wrapper over a Nicaraguan binder and Nicaraguan fillers, Though the blend is not what sets a cigar apart.
Ooh. Nearly every other handmade cigar sold today follows a similar manufacturing process. A buncher starts by placing the fillers inside the binder, the roll of the internal blend, and then placing it in as a mold where the cigars are given their cylindrical shape. The molds are placed in presses where the pressure is applied to make the perfect shape.
Eventually, the bunches are removed, blah, blah, blah. Typically, cigars will go into an aging room, yada, yada, yada. These cigars... Okay.
do not go in molds. Okay. Uh... Newspaper?
The grandfather... No, no, no. Instead of using a mold, the cigars are bunched, rolled, banded, and then wrapped tightly inside a royal palm leaf. Okay, so like a newspaper.
Yeah, the cigars sit like that for a year before being shipped because the cigars are still wet when they are placed in the palm leaf. The end result of cigars is a different shape, some round, some pressed, many particularly round and partially pressed, Whereas most cigars will have a circular or rectangle shape, they can end up looking like triangles or even hexagons. Yeah. Hexagon.
Hexagon. There's only one. Only one hexagon? Yeah.
There's only one hexagon? What's that? It's the placentia one. Okay.
Oh, but that's a molded hexagon. Oh, he's just talking about like with the palm leaves. Yeah, they wrap them and as they're pressed together, they all take different shapes. Depends on where they're at in the little bunch that they put in the palm leaf.
Are they just saying like their cigars aren't all the same, so maybe this is a process. This is the old way before they had the presses. Okay. Can I get Bradley Frapper blend the filler tobaccos differently and did not use the usual tools and techniques of a cigar factory?
This is just more about the way they roll it. Blah, blah, blah. Okay, so you think this cigar is going to be any good? I've had it in a Toro.
This is just an extension to the line, the Robusto. It's not bad. It's quite bad. Yeah.
C. Newman cigar? C. Newman.
There's, I mean, I like some of them, but probably not this one. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
C. Newman, right? Yeah. Yeah.
I like that one. Have you ever had a cigar rolled like this before? That I know of? No, but maybe some have been before.
I don't know. You would know. I look like a triangle almost. Yeah, triangle-like cigar.
Not perfectly round. Haven't had a triangle. Maybe a little straight on one side, round on the other side. No.
It's got a weird mouthfeel because, you know, you're used to the other shapes. Yeah. And then this could be, I mean, you could have one, and then the next one's a completely different shape. Okay.
I mean, I've had one that was similar like this. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah.
And it was amazing. It was a great cigar. One of the best cigars I've ever had. What was it?
The La Campania de Panama Soberania. Oh. It was Roma Craft's, like, first craft before it was called Craft. Ah.
Oh, gotcha. And it was delicious. Oh. Mm-hmm.
So, I'm interested to try this. Yeah, I mean, the Toro's been out for a couple of years. No, but this size, this format. Oh, the Robusto?
Well, the Toro rolled the same way. Is it? Yeah. Oh, really?
Yeah. Well, you deal with JC, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Well, maybe we look into trying it. All right. The STG increases prices in August 2026.
S. Handmade Cigar Divisions, Ford Cigar Company, and General Cigar Company will increase prices for the cigars they sell. Somebody needs another yacht. SCG's American portfolio headlined by brands such as Alec Bradley, CAO, Macanudo, and the non-Cuban Cohiba.
Not the Cuban Cohiba. They didn't plug Room 101 on that? No. Well, I guess this is an increasing.
They have nearly 750 SKUs between the two divisions. Oh, there's a huge list here, we're not doing this huge list. Macanudo, Odyssey, Punch. Let's see, two different price increases for more than 80% of the items.
2%. 5%. 3% increase. Additionally, since the implementation of Trump's global tariff scheme last year, SDG has added an import charge to all orders, and that's increasing.
from 6% to 7%. This means that even the 100 SKUs that aren't having an increase to their wholesale price will cost more going forward. Everything's going up. In a letter to retailers, Gene Richter, STG's VP of sales for North America, cited inflation as the reason for the price increase.
He reiterates the company's position that if the tariffs are removed, STG will drop the 7% import charge. Last week, the Trump administration introduced a new round of tariffs They kept the rate the same for cigars from Honduras but increased the tariffs from the Dominican Republic and Nicaragua, but even the factories in Honduras, those cigars are going up. They get the flat 7 also. Yeah.
Well, listen, it's funny that they say, well, if the importer tariffs are reduced, then we're going to reduce the price. That doesn't make sense. No, not the price. The 7% is a line item on your invoice.
Right. So they will eliminate that. Yeah. So, but I'm still paying more for the cigars.
Yeah, yeah, you're still getting the price increase. Right. Right. So...
Because that's inflation. That's inflation? That's what he says. He said the cause is inflation, not the tariffs.
Well, it's a tariff. Okay, but the tariff is a line item. It's a tax. Correct.
Like, there are some companies that are doing this tariff line item. Right, right, right. And there are some companies that are just building it into their pricing. - Right.
- Right? If you're saying that you're gonna take this tariff and make it a line item and remove it, I still paid more if the tariff goes away. - Right, before, yeah. - Right, right, sure.
- Yeah. 3% increase. - Right. 65, And then I would retail it for nine and change instead of 10.
Like now, if I had inventory at 10 dollars, I have to eat that in order to remain competitive. Sure. Right? Sure.
So that doesn't work. No. Yeah. So saying that you're going to wipe out the tariff, oh, well, we can just remove it later, is like one of, in my opinion, is one of the most ignorant things you can say, and it's totally disconnected from retailers.
Right. You know? It makes absolutely no sense. And guess what?
If the tariff went away, they would wipe that out and they would just increase their price. Oh, do another pricing thing. Yeah! " That's what I think they would do.
Right. So like, oh, by the way, you know. Wait, I have to get rid of my jet? Yeah, and realistically, so what they really, in my opinion, what they should have done was just increase their pricing, and eliminated this whole bullshit smoke and mirrors line item thing and just incorporated in the price and then if the tariff went away you just don't raise your price the next time right right hey because the tariff has been removed instead of it you know and we're going to absorb it this time around and we'll keep the price the same i don't know that sounds like strategy to me so much easier too not the other way the other way is dumb and it's a pain in the They asked for retailers.
" You know? Instead of just a regular price increase, they'd say, "I fucking hate the tariff invoice increase. It doesn't make any sense. What do I do?
Do I raise my price? Do I get stuck paying for it? " Right. So, no.
This is dumb. Congratulations on raising your price. price then guess what and here's what you're going to have q1 earnings report next year you will see an increase in revenue and a decrease in in sales just like we have this entire year right with all these big dogs so okay all right lambert limitada 2026 has been being teased lambert limitada Lampart Limitada 2026. Lampart's annual limited edition series is expected to return to shelves soon, potentially this month.
The new Lampart Limitada 2026 is a box-pressed 6x54 Toro Extra. While the company posted an image of the cigar, it has not yet disclosed most of the details, which is what it looks like. Here's the picture. Cigar.
Here's the cigar. The cigar is said to use a Connecticut Seed wrapper. Previously, Stefan Lampart, the company's founder, told Half Wheel He was targeting the release for August. Well, here we are.
We don't have it. But here's a picture. Here's a picture. And it's not AI.
Don't pay attention to it, though. The guys always have four fingers. That's not the only new limited cigar. The company has also announced that the Lambert Limitada 2025 will return to stores later this year because we have some left.
Ooh, it's got the 109 style cap. Such a big fan of the 109 cap. Ooh, it's not quite bellicoso. Not quite.
Not quite. It's rounded. It's rounded. I thought that was, uh, wasn't that trademarked by somebody?
109? 109? No. It's an old Cuban style design for cigars.
Oh, okay. Both Limitada cigars are made at the Tabaco de Costa Rica. Ooh. Yes.
Now it's time for the industry's favorite game. What's the score? Players hear clues from a Half Wheel Cigar Review and try to predict the score before it's revealed. As more details are shared, the challenge gets easier.
Or does it? The closest guess to the actual score wins the round. You cannot use the same score, T-Money. Can you read between the lines and predict the score?
" Today's first cigar, August 2nd, 2026. Charlie Minato is the reviewer. it is the limited edition Adventura Blue-Eyed Jack's Revenge Patapotolo. Patapotolo?
P-A-T-A-P-O-L-O. Patapolo. Pita? Pata.
Patapolo. Patapolo. Patapolo. Patapolo.
Patapolo. Patapolo. Okay. How many pickled pepper did Patapolo pick?
89 is what they picked. Oh. Philip, our horned friend. Oh, did you see when he does that?
That was nice, yeah. I'm gonna go 90. 40, if that makes a difference, And they smoked three. 89.
Palmer, this is one that you sought out before, right? I don't know. Not this particular Vitola. But the regular blue-eyed.
There was a blue-eyed Jack, yeah, that I asked Mike to bring back from the show one year. I'm gonna stick with 90. Cigar opens with a classic Dominican profile of sweet earth and wood, And the flavors linger on the palate longer than is typical, with occasional notes of creaminess, subtle sweetness, and floral complexity on the retrohale. 89.
Mmm, 90. The wrapper had an attractive milk chocolate color with an oily sheen, and aside from one cigar's tight draw and the combustion issues, the overall construction and appearance were well executed. 87. Yeah, there's been cigars that they've counted off a lot for those issues.
Like a Postana Sumatra? I didn't want to bring up old wounds, you know. I got a Postana. Yeah, I'm going to go 85.
Third clue, all three cigars experienced smoke production problems around the halfway point with multiple relights, bitterness, metallic flavors after relights, and a profile that the reviewer described as Hollow, Lacking Depth and Evolution from Start to Finish. Eighty-four. Eighty-one. Final thought: Based on these three cigars, this Vitola is just not the right one for this blend.
Having smoked some of the other Blue-Eyed Jack's Revenge cigars, I'm unsure what they have in common with the three Lanceros I smoked. Even without the combustion issue of the second third, it's not as if the first third was remotely close to matching all of the extra- That's the excellence I've had from other sizes. This is your final score. 82.
Philip? 81. You went the wrong way, 84. 84, after all that?
What did Sumatra get? 81. 81. After everything they just said.
Yeah, no, he was just angry that day. Alright, second cigar, it's two for Tuesday. March 9th, 2021, Charlie Manado again. This is the El Weywensei Five-Year Anniversario.
85. 87. Sorry, the cigar reviewed is the El Weywensei Five-Year Anniversario. El Weywensei.
I guess so. I mean, it's Gunzi Gunzi, so I guess it would be... Gunsy Gunsy. Yeah, if you did it phonetically.
The Guaguanese. Yeah, the Guaguanese. You got any of those Guaguaneses? Country of origin is Nicaragua.
Oh. Factory, Tabaco Vala de Jalapa SA. Wrapper, Corojo 99. Binder, Mexican San Andreas.
Filler, Esteli and Jalapa. Length, four and three quarter by 60. It's a perfecto. And they smoked three.
It's a little fat perfecto. Perfecto. I think 87 is a nice number. Go 88.
87. Clue number one, the cigar delivered a wide range of flavors throughout the smoking experience, including earth, cedar, creaminess, leather, toast, black and red pepper, cinnamon, paprika, vanilla, and a subtle sweetness providing complexity of complexity. A subtle complexity of complexity? Yes.
It's so complex, we named it, we said it twice. Right. It's the complexity of the complexity. I don't know how you pick out all those flavors.
Mm. Mm. Unicorn? Red and black pepper.
Uh, let's go... 86. You majestic beast, you. 87.
Clue number two. The Figurado featured an attractive wrapper with reddish shoes and an uncommon triple cap, and was packaged in an award-winning treasure chest-style box that stood out for its creativity and visual appeal. The cigar suffered from a frustrating draw that started extremely tight before becoming overly open. Inconsistent smoke production, frequent touch-ups, and overall construction issues that distracted from the smoking experience.
The cigar suffered from a frustrating draw that started extremely tight before becoming overly open. Inconsistent smoke production, frequent touch-ups, and overall construction issues that distracted from the smoking experience. I feel like he's hitting me like left, right, left, right. Final thought: This is a cigar that tests our score sheet because it produces a number that isn't representative of what took place.
While the construction was problematic, the flavor profile was never bad, it just wasn't great. The way our score sheet is designed, cigars like this often times score better than I might have personally enjoyed it, and I think that's likely the case here. It starts and ends with the size, which I find to be problematic and overwhelming. It's not overwhelming like a 7x70, though I probably would have enjoyed the blend and a 770 more than I did here.
But it just encompasses every part of the time I spent smoking the cigar. It's a rare instant in which the review is a referendum on a cigar's construction, but probably not an indictment of how well it was rolled or bunched. And because of the design of the cigar, I'm led to believe that no matter how well it was bunched, how much I cut off, or how quickly I smoked, the struggle is going to be very real. No idea what any of that meant.
What look you just made? Hiho Silver! Ridin' me, big boy! Oh my goodness.
It's too late for the movie. It's too late we don't have sound bites. Like, the way that they made the cigar sound is like, they're about to give it a really high score, but it was a really crappy cigar. Mm-hmm.
So, let's just go 90. Wow. 88. You went the right way.
Oh. 71. That's not how you just read all that. Oh, sorry.
I didn't. Bring it to me. We're back, baby. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
When he said, when he said 91, I went, what? I'm glad you weren't looking this way. He said 90. Yeah, but the way you read it, it made it sound like they were going to give it a high score, But it was a crappy cigar.
Am I wrong in that? I don't know. Is that how you heard it? That's how I interpret it.
Yeah. It broke the thingy. It broke the score sheet. Yeah.
Well, that's good. That's all I got. At least everybody gives me a hard time on my one. I'm like, well, at least I didn't get 70.
Yeah, at least I didn't get 70. At least I'm not Nick Malillo. Yeah, and spend a lot of money on the treasure chest. Yeah.
Love the treasure chest. I hate the cigar. I don't think Charlie should be allowed to review cigars. You know what I mean?
Well, it's his sandbox. He can do what he wants. I guess. We could not read them.
No, that's funny. Right. How can we not do that? We do.
Yeah. All right. You have anything else to add? Nope.
That's all I got. Okay. Well, like and subscribe if you're reviewing and listening to the show. com for all your chpod swag.
Make sure you check out the lounge. com, us, Cigar Houses, podcast. And thank you so much. Thank you so much.
We hope we provide great edutainment for you today on this lovely Tuesday. Alright guys, thank you very much. We gotta go. Bloop.
Show Notes
On today’s show Space X rocket is gonna crash! Myspace is back! Iran Is after our water! Mikey May Have Gym Penis! Then in cigars we have a new cigar, a price increase of major proportion and a teaser of a cigar…then a two for Tuesday whats the score