ACHP 595USS Abraham Lincoln Crisis, Ohio Prison Lightning Strike & Major Cigar News
Episode Summary
Episode 595 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast opens with King Mike, Greg "Triple G," and engineer Phil McGuffey running through listener comments, the ongoing charity mask auction (won by Chris Weiss with a Buy It Now click after a bidding war with Lance), a gift mask sent in by Phil Sweeney, and the crew's ongoing experiments using AI to rebuild the show's website and integrate YouTube and Lounge comments in one feed.
The news block is heavy on current events. The guys break down reports from Military Times and The Independent that sailors aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln have attempted to go overboard during an indefinitely extended Middle East deployment, with families raising concerns about mental health, food shortages, water contamination, and deck safety at a town hall with acting Navy Secretary Hung Cao — plus word that the USS Theodore Roosevelt is being prepped to relieve the Lincoln and the carrier's home port shifting to Bremerton, Washington. From there it's 16 inmates hospitalized after a lightning strike at Grafton Correctional Institution in Lorain County, Ohio; the FAA's video-gamer recruiting push that has produced more than 2,000 air traffic controller candidates in 2026; and a health segment on training your body for a regular morning bowel movement via the gastrocolic reflex, fiber, and fluids.
Cigar news covers three items: Artesano Del Tabaco raising wholesale prices $5 per box on Viva La Vida Classic and El Pupo Calibra, blamed on tariffs (the hosts have plenty to say about tariff-based price increase press releases); the HVC Pan Caliente de HVC 10th Anniversary Limited Edition 2026 shipping August 13 in a single 6 7/8 x 54 double toro with a Habano 2000 wrapper over Nicaraguan binder and Nicaraguan/Peruvian filler including pelo de oro, a varietal banned in Cuba for its tendency to attract mold; and the return of the Nestor Miranda Private Reserve Lancero (6 3/4 x 40, 500 boxes, unchanged blend and MSRP) from Miami Cigar & Co., rolled at La Aurora.
The show closes with "What's the Score?", where Mike and Phil guess the halfwheel score for Patrick Lagreid's review of the Avo Expressivo Robusto ($16, Diadema Cigars de Honduras). Talk of a "potential cigar of the year" third sample pushes guesses up before consistency and combustion issues drag it back — the final score was an 87, with Mike's 88 taking it. There's also a tease for the Powstanie Sumatra and a new CHPod shirt.
In This Episode
- 01Mask Auction & Listener CommentsChris Weiss wins the unicorn mask via Buy It Now after a bidding war with Lance, plus fan comments, Phil McGuffey movie-title jokes, and the new Lounge comment integration.
- 02USS Abraham Lincoln Deployment CrisisReports of sailors attempting to go overboard amid food shortages, water contamination, and mental health concerns during an extended Middle East deployment.
- 0316 Inmates Struck by Lightning in OhioA lightning strike at Grafton Correctional Institution in Lorain County hospitalizes 16 inmates, one flown by helicopter in serious condition.
- 04FAA Recruiting Video Gamers as Air Traffic ControllersThe FAA's gamer-targeted campaign has yielded over 2,000 controller candidates in 2026, hitting roughly 94% of its hiring goal.
- 05Morning Regularity & the Gastrocolic ReflexA health segment on consistent wake-up and breakfast times, fiber and fluid intake, and activity to train a predictable morning bowel movement.
- 06Artesano Del Tabaco Price IncreaseViva La Vida Classic and El Pupo Calibra go up $5 per box at wholesale, with tariffs cited as the cause — and the hosts roast the press release language.
- 07HVC Pan Caliente 10th Anniversary ShipsThe Pan Caliente de HVC 10th Anniversary Limited Edition 2026 arrives in a 6 7/8 x 54 double toro with Habano 2000 wrapper and Peruvian pelo de oro filler.
- 08Nestor Miranda Private Reserve Lancero & What's the ScoreMiami Cigar & Co. brings back the 500-box Private Reserve Lancero unchanged, then the crew guesses halfwheel's 87 score for the Avo Expressivo Robusto.
Brands & Cigars Discussed
Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.
Transcript
Well, it's that time again. Here we go. Oh, thank God. Welcome to the Cigar Hustlers podcast, where the cigars are premium, the opinions blank, and then it starts again.
Welcome to the Cigar Hustlers podcast, where the cigars are premium, the opinions are unfiltered, and the conversations have no boundaries, just like these texts. I'm your host, they call me King Mike, in the co-host seat, we have blank, the triple G, but we don't know how to switch our cameras anymore, we've progressed. Just blank. There it is.
There it is. Did you call him blank or black? Blank. Oh.
And then over in engineering, the star of the man-on-man adult film, In My Sandwich to Your Knuckles. With the working title, Knuckle Sandwich, Mr. Phil McGuffey. Whether it's cigars, sports, business, current events, pop culture, or the craziest stories making headlines, if it's worth talking about, we're talking about it.
Sometimes if it's not worth talking about, we're talking about it. Like Oreo cookies in KFC. No scripts. They have those?
Too bad you weren't here yesterday, buddy. No safe spaces, just honest conversation, big laughs, and the kind of show that can go from premium cigars to absolute chaos in a matter of time. In a matter of seconds, every episode are real conversations, different perspectives, and plenty of unexpected turns along the way. So settle in and welcome to a Cigar Hustlers podcast.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh, very exciting.
I didn't get the dum-dum-dum or nothing. Dum-dum-dum. Thank you. Ping-bong.
On today's show, USS Abraham Lincoln as a floating city looks more like the slums right now. Ohio Prison goes for the record on electrocutions, that's misspelled, and my mother said Xbox was not a markable skill, learn to go before you go, then in cigars, shipping notifications, new cigars, and a price increase, the what's the score to end the show, but Phil, before the show. Whoa, whoa, you didn't send me anything. How do you get some of that CHPod swag, Phil?
All right, this is what you're going to do, everybody. com. You have to start with like and subscribe. Like and subscribe.
That's where you go. All right, this is what you're going to do, everybody. You're going to like and subscribe, first of all. Yeah, wherever you're viewing or watching the show.
Exactly. And then... No, back up. Try it again.
Try it again. Okay. All right, go ahead. You're going to like and subscribe, first of all, wherever you're viewing or watching, which is the same thing.
Yeah, do you want to listen to me? Alright, whatever, just keep going. I've given up. No, no, no, start over, start over, start over, start over.
Alright, first of all, what you're going to do is you're going to like and subscribe wherever you're viewing or listening. Yes, thank you. Perfect. com, where when you buy one, you get the second one.
Yeah, it's okay, you can skip that. Yeah. Okay. All right.
Wait, wait, wait. Start over. Just give it here. Where are we going?
Where are we going? com, Cigar Hustle's podcast, for our Patreon, where we review cigars and talk more inside baseball as well. And I have some news for you. Oh.
I have some big news for you. Big news. Very large. The biggest ever.
I'm going to start here by saying... congratulations oh it's a chris weiss oh he went ahead and he hit the buy it now button for the unicorn mask he wanted no competition none my guy no he wasn't dealing with it he wasn't dealing with it it looks like the bidding got up to 59 which mask that one the one on my face correct correct it's gone it's sold wow we're we're selling mass now before we're even done with them yeah so at the end of the month it's going it's it's sold so it looks like there was some there's a little bit of a bidding war going on between lance and christopher oh there was a war yeah and once and once it got out to about 59 bucks christus said you know what it's mine i'm We're going to hit the Buy It Now button. Yeah. So.
So, congratulations. Congrats. He stays intact, possessing all the masks at this point. Absolutely dominating.
It's fun here. " Ping pong. " and then lance says sweet i like a good challenge and then lance says they should turn off the buy it now and let it run to the end and see how high it will go maybe maybe we should set a parameter like if it gets too close to the buy it now all of a sudden it goes away it disappears oh that's like a hard rock but oh yeah yeah when it gets into like the fourth quarter of the basketball game we can't uh cash out anymore so how close did this one get to it like what was the last That's the highest bid before the button was pushed. 59.
And what was the Buy It Now? 80. So you got to put your mark at like 50 or 55. Once it hits there, the Buy It Now button goes away.
Don't tell them what the mark is, Greg. " Not the BDP or Boots one, as well. Didn't the King say that he was going to bid on the mask so that he could give it to his daughter? I didn't even get a chance to bid on it, for one, for two, the podcast has been eight years long, eight years, and we're going to take the $35 that we made on the mask, we're going to take it, and we're going to put it towards something in the podcast, and it's going to be charity for you.
It is a charitable contribution to the podcast. Yes, it is 100%. Yes. Mm-hmm.
I'm running out of charity, is what's happening. So, congratulations, Chris. I don't know, we'll talk about the Buy It Now thing disappearing or whatever. Sure.
I think it's been going pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. But, I don't know, we'll have to figure it out.
So. So, Phil Sweeney did send you a gift that was kind of lost for about a week. It's a week or so down here that I wanted to give to you on the show. That way, our friend over at Sens Parai sees that you actually got it, so this is for you, my friend.
I can't throw him things. I think I did a pretty good job. It landed right in front of him. It didn't break anything.
For somebody that doesn't sport, I think I did pretty good. You can't see that in the dark. You gotta push it up. Ooh, that's nice.
It's real maleficient. You know, maybe you get to wear that partially for, and we can ship out Chris's mask ahead of schedule. That mask that Sweeney sent is very eyes wide shut, is it not? Well, I don't think it was something that he bought on Amazon, I think it was something that he had from one of his, you know, adventures.
From one of his boxes of fun. Yeah, exactly. He has boxes of fun. He has boxes of fun, yes.
One for Monday, one for Tuesday. That's the Wednesday badge. with that that's the special gimp mask oh yes yeah um some comments from the show let me see if this works thank you sweeney sorry uh let's see at cw6383 oh the lounge is working again nice yep the lounge is fully operational whoever the tech guy is on this is amazing claude excuse me someone has to type to claude someone has to yell at it yeah like no idiot it's claude my idiot brother Mike Palmer wants you to... You like when I do that?
Yeah, it's nice, yeah. So now the fucking robot refers to me as the idiot brother. Yeah, so here's what I do. " Like, "Oh, we need the website to do that," and they're in front of me, I speak her to talk to Claude, and then I let it know.
" Like, it's a bot, it's a robot, it doesn't-- Maybe it does. It doesn't have feelings. Yeah, maybe it does. The one thing that it does do that really drives me nuts is when you're, like, problem solving and teching through it, it's like, ah, yes, that's a great clue.
Stupendous. I'm like, I don't care. Sure, it patronizes you. Yeah, like, oh, good call.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, no, I don't care. Like, I don't need that. Yeah, don't talk to me like you're a human.
listen i don't like praise in person from people i don't want i don't need you yeah fucking robot just solve the problem yeah exactly yeah that was a great little uh what do they call those things i could not acronym i don't know what things when he did all the p's you didn't hear all that alliteration yeah alliteration is when you use the same letter and in words over and over again yeah that was a great alliteration yeah i don't even know what i didn't catch it who did it he He said praise in person by people. Ah, that is alliteration. Very good. You didn't know the word, but you were able to recognize it.
I'm impressed. Very good. It's an onomatopoeia? No, it's not an onomatopoeia.
@cw6383 says, "OMG, I almost pissed myself. Mr. Taranio and Mikey bantering back and forth was classic. " Thank you.
Yeah, I'm glad he came up, man. We had a good day. " With Jack? Yep.
Well, Jack's a great guy. Yeah, he really is. Yeah. " Utah.
I got news for you, Captain Oblivious. You think online sales haven't been going on in Utah? Right. Allegedly.
You know what I mean? Allegedly. it's kind of hard to regulate at ruckus on chain says oh mikey's mom no it's greg's mom g's mom there he is nice to see jack on the show again yeah it was it was good to have him he wasn't he wasn't as pizzazz yeah like he wasn't as energetic hung no that's not the word still uh he wasn't Keep cutting them off though. Yeah, yeah, one more time.
No? Okay. I don't know, like he didn't- Intrusive. Sorry.
If I wasn't wired to this chair, I'd get up and beat you. He's usually like a little more wittier and just like a little more aggressive, I think. Yeah. He seemed a little more laid back.
Laid back, you think. Yeah, I don't know what's happened. Maybe rub one out before he came. I think that, well, to me it seemed like he had something on his mind because when it came But at the same time for him to go, he looked at his watch about three times within the last five minutes like he had some place to be.
Right. So maybe he was just prepping himself mentally for something else because he's not a foolish man. He's very, very, very smart. Oh, he's one of the, and he's one of the nicest guys in the industry.
Without a doubt. So fortunate to have him as a friend. Yeah, absolutely. Well, he's been traveling too, right?
He's been, I saw him at Brass Pipe before he came here. However, Hector sucks, because he didn't come. Mr. Warmth.
Nothing warm about you not attending. Oh. Oh. He's gotten, I heard that he's, you know, do you know who I am?
Like that's how he kind of treats himself now. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, he walks into a place and he expects, you know, a red carpet. This is big.
Yeah, that's how Hector rolls now. All right. I am Hector. I am Hector.
Hector. Yes. With a cadence in the front, I like that, I like that. " Oh, Greg, you didn't invite your mom?
I think he's referencing my birthday party. Oh. Or my wedding, one of the two things. I don't, I don't invite my mother to my birthday party, so.
You know, that's crazy, that. She doesn't, she hardly attends my kids' birthday parties, and she gets invited to those. So listen, mom, there's nothing we can do about that. " Yes.
Indeed it did. This is awesome on the lounge because it integrates the YouTube comments and the lounge comments, it's so nice. Yeah, but what's interesting is you said that the robot did that on its own. It did.
You didn't prompt it to do that. " Yeah, like it misinterpreted something that I said and then made it happen. So not only is it making its own decisions to make it better in its perspective, but then when realizing that it wasn't prompted to do that, it's then making its own decisions to remove it? I think so.
Once it realizes that I'm the problem, I'm out of here. It's gonna eliminate me. Yeah. Yeah, you are the problem.
Yeah. The Roomba's coming for you. This guy's slowing me down. Yeah.
Yeah. Wow. " Two men, one Speedo. That's a great one.
That's a great one. @MikeTorres8575. Oh, boy. Oh, the man.
Hey, this is great. Now that I know what I'm doing, I don't have to go down to the shop anymore and visit. I could just watch you guys on the podcast as if he came down. Right.
It's two visits a year at this point. Yeah, it's pretty. Yeah. So, at least I get to see your face on this comment section.
" Phil's Agent? Yeah, "I'm not sure if you guys heard, but Phil's been the buzz the last few weeks. It's been a chart topper. " What is going on?
Incredible, Phil's Agent. Oh, God. I love the fact that I don't read these ahead. Oh, yeah, so you get a genuine reaction.
Yeah. Yeah, that's good. That's good. " Great line.
" Oh, my God. That's good. This is amazing. That's good.
It's taken on a life of its own. Yeah. It's beautiful. Phil McGuffey, a household name.
It's beautiful. It's incredible. com, under the lounge, or on our YouTube page on this episode. Now, let's get on with the show.
Oh. I think that means I got to do more shit. Yeah, you got to read more. This is, you're doing the Palmer.
I need the Red Bull in my life. Summer edition. When he drinks, you should like, yeah, there you go. Go on me.
Like when he's doing something, if he picks his nose, try to get the camera off of him. No, no, no, people like it. Like he knows that. I don't, I gotta be honest, I don't know what has happened with Phil like the past few times, but he's just really kind of checked out.
Well, I'm smoking this delicious cigar right here and I just can't concentrate. It's just so good. It should definitely be a 93. It's burning well.
Well, you're impressed with how well it's burning. I, too, am burning the same cigar. Also, I haven't touched up, as I've spoken this entire time. Burning perfectly.
Perfect draw. Incredible. Who knew? All right, let's see here.
S. service members on the USS Abraham Lincoln have tried to jump off the ship due to horrific conditions during the ship's extended deployment in the Middle East. Families of sailors aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln say crew members have become so desperate during an extended Middle East deployment that some have tried to jump overboard, according to the report from the Military Times and the Independent, as well as the redundancy of the Palmer. The carrier, with roughly 5,000 sailors and Marines aboard, deployed last November and was expected home in May.
Yeah, you'll be fine. You'll be home in May. Instead, the deployment was extended with no return date as the ship supports operations in the war with Iran. One wife says her husband, a 13-year Navy veteran, is now on medical hold after attempting to jump from the ship.
Another says her husband physically stopped a shipmate from going over the side. I mean, like, war? You're a soldier? I don't, I'm, what, what's going on here?
Yeah, let's see, let's see if there's anything else about the conditions here. Like, they get food. Six out of 5,000, I mean. Place to sleep.
Go run the gun and swab the deck. Right? Yep. Family members confronted acting Navy Secretary Hong Kao at a town hall last week, raising concerns about mental health, food shortages, water contamination, and deck safety.
Okay, well, that's different. Like, if you're not giving them food and water, now we're going to jump off the boat, right? I'm not saying here. Well, they only have so much supplies.
Yeah, but isn't there a supply ship? You would know, you were ex-Navy, weren't you? I mean, yeah, I was never on the ship, but I do know that... You were never on the ship?
I don't know, they just, yeah. I do know that, no, there's not a lot of, like, movement of other ships to them. I mean, how would you dock? Yeah, but this is just math, right?
You've got so many heads, so many, you know, ready-to-eat meals, so much water, by whatever week it is, you need to get them more food and water. We just need to go old viking strategy here to start pillaging and plundering around us. I thought that's what war was. We're supposed to take it.
We take the stuff. Yeah, we take the stuff. Yeah. Like pirates.
We need to feed the people. Feed the people. My men need food. Right.
Yeah. You know what I mean? Give us your sheep. Yeah.
Yeah. We'll take the sheep. Yes. Wow.
That was super Middle Eastern. I don't know if that was a Navy show. It was. One wife reportedly told officials her husband messaged her saying he hoped he wouldn't wake up the next day.
Cal told families the USS Theodore Roosevelt is being prepared to relieve the Lincoln but gave no date. The Navy previously dismissed reports of food shortages aboard the Lincoln and USS Tripoli as false. Officials say the Lincoln will shift its home port to Bremerton, Washington, after this deployment, with December 31st floated as a target for a return timeline. Yeah.
It's a long time to be stationed. Yeah. That's a while. A little note here.
If you or a service member you love is struggling, the Veterans and Military Crisis Line is available 24/7. Dial 988, then press 1. Yeah, I mean, look. You need food.
You gotta take care of the troops. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not, that's not okay. Yeah.
You need food and water. Yeah. Like, these are basic things. They, they, they die without it.
Yeah. Yeah. And I like the response, like, oh, that's not true. Gotta have some relevance.
You know what that reminds me of? That reminds me of the debate when Kamala was like, there are no troops overseas or anything like that right now. And then, then it panned to them watching it. And they said, well, where the fuck are we?
Right? Yeah. Yeah. Like, this is the same thing.
He's like, no, no, everything's fine here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
We got plenty of food. Yeah. Yeah. Look, look, there's no food.
This is the plate. This is just empty. I don't know what's going on here. Well, I hope that gets Heads are rectified sooner than later.
Yeah. You know, it's kind of a big deal. Yeah, not good. They gotta eat.
I think the USS Abraham should be coming home. Send out the Teddy Roosevelt. All right, moving on. 16 inmates were hospitalized after being struck by lightning at an Ohio prison Tuesday evening.
The incident happened at the Grafton Correctional Institution in Lorain County, Ohio, during severe weathering, severe, severe weather moving through the area. According to the Ohio Department of Rehabilitation and Correction, the inmates were outside and returning from their evening meal when the lightning strike occurred. Emergency personnel responded to the prison, and all 16 inmates were taken to hospitals for evaluation and treatment. How close are you going to be standing together for 16?
No, no, here's what I envision, right? Okay, tell me. Okay, so they're all lined up, and they all got the ankles that are chaining them one together, and only Bob at the front of the line got hit. But the other 15, you know what I mean?
The current just went right through. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they all kinds of go boom, boom. Yeah.
Yeah. Chaingang. Chaingang. Chaingang.
Lightning Chaingang. Your new movie. Lightning Chaingang. Lightning Chaingang.
Lightning Chaingang. Mm. Uh, this is interesting, you know? I mean, do you think that they're gonna have, like, the little radar, the lightning safety, like they do at the park with the little blinky blinky?
No. I mean, they do stop the Hulk when, you know, there's potential for lightning. Yeah. Why not not move the prisoners when the lightning is coming?
Yeah, I can't get on the Hulk. You should get on the Hulk, you're right. Yeah, I know, they stop it. They're prisoners.
Booth Boots is like, it's just a fast track to the electric chair, baby, come on. You know what, get rid of the electric chair, put them outside while it's a thunderstorm. Oh, perfect. But you don't know what they did, they could be like petty theft or something.
Yeah, somebody could be in there for tax fraud. On a chain gang? Yeah. Well, I mean, I added that, that isn't necessarily what's going on, but it could be.
Yeah. We should look up the Ohio prison and see if it's like a maximum security or something, because it's not a petty theft. By Wednesday, none of the 16 inmates had been released from the hospital and returned to the correctional facility. No!
They got great beds, TVs, and food. Seven inmates remained hospitalized. Officials said six of those inmates were in stable condition with injuries considered non-life threatening. The seventh inmate, the lightning rod himself, now has superpowers, the flash, who had been transported by helicopter, remained in serious conditions, no deaths have been reported in connection with the lightning strike, the incident occurred as severe thunderstorms moved through the portions of Ohio, you already said that Palmer, the Ohio Department of Rehabilitation and Correction said officials were continuing to monitor the conditions of the inmates who remained hospitalized.
Yeah, well, what the hell else are they going to do? Yeah, yeah, you got to make sure he doesn't die. Yeah, yeah, well, check on him. Right.
You know what's wild? Like, the statistical probability of being struck by lightning is like super, super low. You know Michael, our private lounge member, the super sweet dude? Struck by lightning twice in his life.
Twice? He told me the story. I'm like, you got to be fucking kidding me. He was struck by a tree recently.
That too, as well. Yeah, and also almost lost a finger once. Like, he's just playing with death all the time. I think if I'm Mr.
Michael, I walk around with a helmet. Or I stay home. How was he struck by a tree? He was chopping one down and it came down on his head.
Yeah. Split him pretty good. Split him pretty good. Oh, man.
I don't even want to talk about that. Yeah, you better say nice things. Yeah. He's a sweet man.
Very sweet man. Don't you dare say anything mean about him. I'm just trying to figure out where the angle of him chopping was. It was like one of those things where it was a big, thick branch and he had it tied off and he was planning on cutting here and then swinging it over, only he miscalculated and it came down and hit him in the head.
Right. Yeah. Okay. It could happen to anybody.
Yeah. Daffy Duck. Not CJ, though. Yeah.
He's never been injured. Never been injured. Knock on wood. Thank God, because if he took a blow to the head, it would not be good.
Hey, that guy took down a tree in my house. I believe it. I believe it. Yeah, they did pretty good.
Yeah, he's talented. Talented. And a good boxer, too. Is he?
Oh, yeah. Bob and Weaver? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Huh.
Okay. So, yeah. lightning and we're going to keep an eye on it and well we're just going to leave them in the yard i mean like oh these guys are going to milk the hospital like hey uh on a pain scale from one to ten how do you feel today and it's like month three oh ten super ten five five out of the 15 are faking that they lost their speech you know yeah exactly i thought i thought i would sell that Right, absolutely. I'll take the cheeseburger for lunch too, please.
Yeah. I'm still hungry. All right, moving on. The Federal Aviation Administration says its efforts to recruit video gamers as future air traffic controllers has helped produce more than 2,000 new controller candidates in 2026.
What's all this? S. Department of Transportation and specifically targeted young adults, including people that love playing Fortnite. General officials say skills commonly developed through gaming can overlap with abilities need in air traffic control, including multitasking, spatial awareness, strategy, problem-solving, and high cognitive performance.
I call those things like everyday life, none of that is… Sure, but video games are helping to develop those skills, you can't ignore that, right? Now that doesn't mean that every child should be plopped in front of a video game for eight hours out of the day, but there are things that are learned by video gaming, for sure. Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy says the FAA has now reached approximately 94% of its air traffic controller hiring goal, with more than 2,000 candidates being seven years old. Is that what it says?
No. I love the feel. " Seriously, the seven-year-olds? Wow, you would think they'd wait till at least eight or nine.
I wonder if Ava wants a job doing air traffic. No, I'm just, I'm always trying to pick out what's like BS in the news. Can you imagine? Land now, land now!
We're 30 miles out. Send me V-Bucks, or I'm gonna crash the plane! The FAA's workforce plan calls for approximately 2,200 new controller hires during the fiscal year of 2026, part of a larger effort to increase staffing throughout the nation's air traffic control system. Increase or replace all the ones that left?
Uh, yeah, people said this is too stressful, I'm not dealing with this shit. I ain't doing that shit, I ain't dealing with that shit. " Right. Being a gamer, however, does not automatically qualify someone to become an air traffic control.
Applicants that have stated that they've been waiting for GTA 6 to this day I think they still refuse to not match, are not a good fit for the FAA traffic control. I flew the plane in Grand Theft Auto. I can do this. I can do this.
When stated in their resume, I stole a car to get here, and I killed a hooker, they didn't qualify. All right, so that's good with that one. Applicants arrived with five stars upon arrival being chased by the tank. Exactly, exactly.
Exactly. The, the military were pursuing the individuals as they came in for the interview. All right, let's see. Next story.
If you'd rather get your business done at home before heading to work, I highly suggest you don't do that because it's a waste of time. There are actually some ways to help train your body to become more regular in the morning. This is about poop? I think so.
The business was a reference to poop? If you'd rather get your business done at home before heading to work. Yeah. Let me start that over.
If you'd rather get your business done at home before heading to work, there are actually some ways to help train your body to become more regular in the morning. First, be consistent with your wake-up and breakfast schedule. Your colon is naturally more active in the morning, and eating triggers something called the gastrocolic reflex, The National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Disease, that's all in one place, recommends trying to have a bowel movement 15 to 45 minutes after breakfast. So how do you think the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Disease actually merged into the three?
I don't know. You know what I mean? Diabetes just wasn't enough. Right.
So they had kidneys in a completely different building. They're like, "Yeah, just kidneys, one building, doesn't make sense. " This one makes sense. Bring it over.
What are we going to do with these guys? Bring it over. What are we going to do with these guys? You know what?
Let's throw the digestive tract in there. All right, the three of you guys meet up. All together, one bill. Okay, let's talk about it.
It just makes sense. Is that okay, Mr. Fauci? Hey, you know what?
We haven't heard much about bowel movement lately. If you guys could put something together. Next, make sure you're getting enough fiber and fluids. Adults generally need about 22 to 34 grams of fiber per day, depending on age and sex.
If you're having sex multiple times in a day, highly recommend 70 grams of fiber. Triple, triple. Depends upon sex. a.
lots of sex. Lots of sex. Even regular walking can support normal bowel function. Okay.
Is this all off the cuff or did Palmer really write this? You think the jokes are in there? I don't know which one is a joke at this point. Oh my God, this is amazing.
You've been reading for about three minutes and 21 seconds now. Oh my God, only two thirds of that was he reading, the rest of it was ad-lib. 30 minutes. It is at least nicer organized here.
Oh my God, that's beautiful. That says, you know, you don't need to poop in the morning, blah, blah, blah. But if you want your body to be more predictable, morning schedule. like i don't know i'm pretty regular you pretty regular extremely yeah i think the cigars help with regular coffee you know i don't know how you don't state that right right stress coffee cigar yeah purge purge go that's how we start the day that's it on onto the next dragon that we have to slay that's it phil what about you regular or question marks super as soon as i wake up star wars gas is what you said before in previous episodes yeah what is star wars gas You should've watched the episode, Greg.
Yeah, but I don't do that. You know, Mike the Mailman is now a follower and a watcher. Mm-hmm. And he doesn't even know how to access this thing.
Explain to him the Star Wars guys, please. Yeah, please, I'm confused. No, it's just, you know, galaxy, epically, I don't know. Wait, what?
When he wakes up in the morning. Yeah. Yeah. You talked about this on a previous episode.
Okay. He farts like the trumpets of the Star Wars theme. Yeah, that's what his ass sounds like. That's what his ass sounds like.
His ass makes that that that that that that song? Yeah. Oh. Yeah, it's whimsical, Greg.
Oh, okay. So I came in on the next episode, Phil's next movie, The Empire Strikes Gas. Right. Ah, very nice.
Got it, yes. Okay, now I get it. Yeah. Yeah, no, as soon as I wake up, pa-pow, and then I'm on my day.
No, no, it doesn't make that noise. There's no pa-pow. No, I'm just saying, like, I do the thing. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
Yeah. Don't do too much of that. Yeah. All of a sudden, he's gonna shit himself if we say it too long.
All of a sudden, there's a sith in his pants. Yeah. " Love story. Oh, God.
All right, now on to Cigar News. Oh! Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Viva La Vida Classic, El Pupo, Colibra, get price increase for 2026.
Of course, after the poop news, we do El Pupo. The Pupo? The Pupo? Artesano Del Tobacco has announced a price increase for select parts of its portfolio.
Specifically, the Viva La Vida Classic, the company's debut line, and El Pupo Calibra have gone up $5 per box on the wholesale price. Because apparently it's three cigars into one. The rest of the El Pupo line, Viva La Vida 5th Anniversary, and Viva La Vida Connecticut will remain at their current prices. This is the second year in a row that the Viva La Vida Classic line has announced a price increase for select parts of its portfolio.
How screwed is that? Only Americans? Yeah, the American market. I mean, is the product available globally?
Because if it is, that doesn't make any sense. Yeah, apparently it is. It must be more available over there because I've never seen it here. And it's a Calibre, you said, right?
One of them, but the classic line is not. The decision comes after months of not having enough money. And it's a Calibre, you said, right? One of them, but the classic line is not.
The decision comes after months of not having enough money. I'm not having enough money, said Artesano Del Tecaccio, Phil, he actually read that, just so you know, that was part of the story, it was not, I totally ad-libbed that, I would believe it though, that was not a, that was not a true quote, I mean that's what they're trying to say, they're just not, you know, saying it, that was not a true quote, well these additional, well they actually said something about, It says increased costs associated with recently imposed tariffs. Oh, God. I mean, they're not recent.
They're not recent tariffs. But, bro, like, the next price increase we do, which is probably a ways away, we have to have that in the press release. Recent months of not having enough money. Dude, I'm in.
Let's do it. That's amazing. I mean, listen, without ruining it, without ruining it, you've already seen my vision for what I want to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
For the Postana site. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm all about it. It's gonna be beautiful.
It's gonna be absolutely epic. It is gonna be so basic and simple. Yeah. " It's like a lot of artwork and stuff, like the main page, and then he instantly moved it, and then I'm like, "And now you've lost me.
" Because it was just a diatribe. There was just all of this shit there. Yeah. doesn't this doesn't even make sense too much going on yeah like dude dumb this down it doesn't need to be over complicated like you can make it a little artsy fartsy that's cool i thought that was i dug that and then after that right very stupid in my imo allegedly or in my opinion in my opinion in my opinion allegedly imo uh so yeah so so the terrace uh am i good i just popped in What is my ear?
It's yellow. What's yellow? The receiver. No, it's green.
You're good. All right. So, I mean, tariffs have been going on. This isn't something new.
Right. Well, maybe they just postponed it to actually make the jump. They ate it for a while. They just took the hit?
Yeah. Hmm. Maybe they could have increased ours a little bit and then increased Germany's a little bit and it wouldn't have been so bad. A wash.
Yeah. Yeah. You know, slight increase. Slight increase.
One Ferrari, instead of two. After months of not having enough money. We just realized that. The days of doing this for charitable events has come to an end, as the charity of my wife and kids would like to eat.
All right, moving on. HVC Pan Caliente 10th Anniversary Shipping to Stores. On Thursday, August 13th, the Pan Caliente 10th Anniversary, It will begin shipping to stores. All right, bro.
Officially, the cigar is called Pan Caliente de HVC 10th Anniversary Limited Edition 2026. I like it. Again, it's offered in a lone 6x7/8x54 double Toro size. But that's a 7x54.
Yeah, pretty much. It's like a fat Churchill. Almost, yeah. Yeah.
Or a double twirl. Right, yeah. Using an all-new blend that includes a Habano 2000 wrapper over a Nicaraguan binder and filler from Nicaragua and Peru. Oh.
The Peruvian tobacco is pelo de oro, which translates into golden hair. It is known for its unique golden color. Is Peruvian gold? And no, oro is gold.
Oh, I'm sorry. Peruvian is Peruvian gold. yeah thank god he hasn't said anything like really dumb recently this is amazing yeah this is amazing it's classic i love this just keep it rolling i want to talk more about this peruvian gold oh man i still haven't had to relight this look at this thing this is incredible makes this yeah this is amazing crazy peruvian gold if we had that would be rich and illegal we'd be raising our american prices which translates into golden hair is known for its unique golden color and And the difficulties associated with growing it: the varietal has been banned in Cuba due to its propensity to attract mold, but it's grown in few places outside on the island including Peru. It has also been banned in Cuba, I'm sorry.
This is the first time that HVC has released a cigar with Peruvian tobacco. So, but like, it's, but it's the, it's fillers, right? Sure. Yeah, but that can still affect the flavor of the cigar.
Yeah, in the mold or whatever. No, but there's not going to be mold in it. But no, but what I'm saying is it's, you know, golden color, but like, who cares in the interior? I'm good to see it.
That's true, but you'll taste it. I can taste the gold? Yeah. I can taste the Peruvian?
Phil's new movie, I can taste the inside. I taste gold. I can taste the inside. Okay.
As the cigar name implies, it celebrates the 10th anniversary of the Pan Caliente. That first release was a 5x50 Robusto with a 109 style cap, a cigar inspired by hotcakes. You know what a 109 is, Phil? Yeah, it's a messed up rounded head.
Okay, that's pretty close. Messed up rounded head. Messed up rounded, it's just, it's like a bellicoso, but it's more rounded. Yeah, like the Antonio had one.
Yeah, it was a little, it might be, yeah, yeah, maybe. Or the Supreme Leaf. Oh yeah, they had one too. Since then, the Pan Caliente family has turned into a series of regular production lines for HVC.
In 2020, the brand was brought back for the Hot Cake line, which is a regular production release that has since been greatly expanded. In 2023, HVC added the Hot Cake Golden, and a year later, fresh out of the oven, So the first version of Pan Caliente was added to the fourth version of Pan Caliente, the fifth version that will be coming out is the General Electric Oven in 2027, as well as the Microwave. No? No Microwave?
No Microwave. No Microwave. That one didn't stick. No, it didn't stick.
The original Pan Caliente was made at Raices Cubanas in Honduras, but eventually moved to the Aganorsa factory in Esteli, Nicaragua. Today, HVC cigars are made in its own factory in Esteli. Yeah. Yeah, bro.
Yeah. Mr. Ranier, he's doing a good job. Yeah, he's a good guy.
I think so. I like him. I like his cigars, too. Yeah.
Very good. Yeah, the Pan Caliente is one of my favorites of his. It's a very good cigar. Mm-hmm.
Did he do it again? He went right to me. Did he do it again? He went right to me.
He went right to me. He went right to me. Did he do it again? I was like this.
It's because in the corner of my eye, I look at the three screens, and if I see movement, That normally means like you're going to interject. He's moving. He's moving right now. Let's get on him right now, wrong, wrong.
Yep. Nope. Right now. Nope.
Okay. Yeah. All right. Nesta Miranda, Private Reserve Lancero shipping.
The 2026 version of the Nesta Miranda Private Reserve is heading to stores. In 2021, Miami Cigar & Co. released the first batch of the cigar named after its co-founder, Nesta Miranda. Yeah.
Five years later, there's a second batch of the cigar. Remarkably, at least on paper, nothing has changed. It's the same 6 3/4 by 40. It's the same blend.
It's the same MSRP. Even the production numbers, 500 boxes, are the same as the 2021 release. La Roar, the longtime partners of Miami Cigar Company, made this release. The Lancero has always been my favorite.
It's an elegant cigar. Simple as that, said Nessa Miranda, co-founder of Miami Cigar Company. And a press release when the cigar was announced in the spring. At the end of the day, I smoke what I enjoy, and this is exactly that.
Man of many words. I like cigars. I like this. I like Lanceros.
I make this. This is the cigar I make. And we made $500 before, and we make $500 again. Same price.
Same price. The rent stays at the same. Absolutely. Easy.
Like a before. That's all I got for Cigar News. You guys aren't really carrying me that well, I mean, you did well on the news portion, I guess. Well, I guess the Peruvian statement was fine.
I'm trying over here, you know. Greg's a little bit just laughing. Yeah, no, I totally fucked that up. I agree.
Now it's time for industry's favorite game: What's the Score? Can you predict a cigar score from a half-wheel review before it's revealed? Of course I can. We'll give you clues.
You make your guess. As the review unfolds, the answer gets closer. Or does it? The closest guess wins.
Let's play. Oh. You son of a bitch. You have my squares?
Yeah, but you're reading the thing. It's in between me and Phil. Yeah. And?
What does that mean? You're not competing. You're not supposed to get them. I didn't put them there.
What's the score? What's the score? But you did plug them in and warmed them up. No, I did not.
So how'd you hit the button? If they're not warmed up, when you hit the button, it doesn't work. No, it does. You just got to turn them on and then they start warming up.
Oh, they were probably He probably just left there from yesterday. Probably. Who had him yesterday, Jack? Me.
And he got to push the button, but he didn't win. Yeah, I did. No, you didn't win. No, I didn't win.
Oh, you're right, I didn't win. Jack hit it on the nose, 90. 90, now it's 91. 90.
Yeah. All right, Phil, I mean, you and I are going to play, what's the score? Okay, Greg. Here we go.
You go first. You want me to go first? Yeah, say a number. 88, I bet.
He's got to give us information. You want to just start throwing numbers out there? Have you not played this game before? No, I played it, but I know you're just gonna say 88.
No, don't worry, the cigar is Peruvian. Yeah, Peruvian. Oh, like white Peruvian. That wasn't funny.
Yeah. See, that's what happens when you don't laugh at my microwave jokes. The microwave joke was not funny. Pan Caliente, you should have said something like, I don't know, hot pancakes or cold pancakes, which would reverse the hot bread.
Mucho frio. Yeah. August 12, 2026, Patrick LeGrade, Cigars, Davidoff, Honduras Reviews. Nice.
AVO EXPRESSIVO, A ROBUSTO. Not approving. Mmm. Me first.
Yeah. 88. Oh, God. AVO ESPRESSO.
Is that what you said? AVO EXPRESSIVO. EXPRESSIVO. EXPRESSIVO.
EXPRESSIVO. I like some of the AVOs. I'll go 89. 289.
Cigar Reviewed, Avo Expressivo, Robusto, Country of Origin, Honduras, Factory, Diadema Cigars de Honduras SA, Wrapper, Ecuador, Binder, Honduras, Filler, Honduras, and Nicaragua, in parentheses, Jalapa. Length, 5 inches, gauge 52. Shape round, MSRP, $16. Release date, June 25, 2026.
Number of cigars released, regular production, and they smoked three for this review. Three cigars. Mm-hmm. 88.
You know, I'm going to change my mind. I'm going 82. That was a big swing. What made you pivot?
I just didn't like all the, just Honduras to back on it. It, dude, the title for the cigar is Honduras Reviews, Avo Expressivo Robusto. Yeah, but sometimes they go, oh, Honduras Reviews, and it's all, you know, it's a Nicaraguan Puro. Okay, so the, so the first thing said Honduras.
The second thing said Honduras. Yeah, there was only one Nicaraguan in there. It was the third time that you said Honduras that changed his mind. You say Honduras three times, immediately low score.
75. We're going 42. Yeah, we're going low. Positive.
Oh, I shouldn't have said that. Negative. Neutral. The cigar really shines once it settles in, developing a balanced, layered profile of sweeter earth, creaminess, wood, and pepper that stays flavorful and enjoyable.
Mmm. I'm going up. Triple G. I'm going to 90.
90? Mmm. He didn't say Coco Nibs, so I'm going to stay at 82. Is that his deciding factor, Coco Nibs, is what sways his pendulum?
I mean, it should be if it was Brooks Whittington doing the review. Right. Oh, I'm on the wrong guy. He's just not listening.
No, he's not listening. He's not paying attention. The mask is too tight. The mask is too tight.
The mask is too tight. I'm just, you know, smoking this cigar again with this burn line is just perfect. I love how he immediately goes to Askes when you start busting his chops. This is a great cigar, great cigar.
You know how we offset this, as I say nice things about the Powstanie Sumatra. There won't be Cigar of the Year by halfway. Construction was generally impressive with smooth draws, plenty of smoke, and even burn lines. The third sample was especially strong.
Good enough that the reviewer considered it potential cigar of the year material. Oh, boy. The rent is going up. Going to go 93.
That's high. Potential cigar of the year. He still hasn't said the bad thing yet. But it's Honduran.
Remember? He did say Honduran three times, so you should say like 42. 13. Negative two.
Seven. Yeah, we're going to go 17. 17. 17.
Okay. Consistency was the biggest problem. Oh, there it is. Yeah, it's Honduras.
Sorry. Two of the three samples developed combustion issues in the second half, requiring touch-ups, and relights, and the final third never quite matched the flavor experience of the first two thirds. Mmm. 88.
Never had to touch this one up or have those issues. I'm going to go The preemptive compliment 85 Oh wow It's been 50 minutes And I haven't touched the lighter with this Yeah Is this the final thought? I think this is the final thought Yeah final thought Final thought Even though it doesn't say it The Avo Expressivo Robusto Is an impressively solid cigar The latest in a brand That I think deserves that description The flavor is lively and inviting, as well as balanced and complex, with some engaging transitions throughout the first two thirds. While I might dial back the first puffs just a touch, I have no qualms with how the cigar performs flavor-wise.
Likewise, while I might want a bit more from the final third, it's still very enjoyable. Construction keeps this cigar from achieving what I would consider its full scoring potential. So I won't be surprised to see some comments that it's a bit low, but that's the result of the gauntlet we put cigars through for review. While it might not be a true smash hit, the Avo brand scores another solid entry, and one that makes for an enjoyable introduction to this next chapter of its story.
Huh. 82. Oh, just get it off! Yeah.
Rip it right off. Hmm. Well. I think I'm gonna go 80.
You have smoked yourself retarded and have went the wrong way. Wow. Oh! Real score?
It's an 87. 87. My 88 was close. Wow.
Push the button. I don't know why Greg was like a Fortnite character when he did that. I just want to know there's a usage charge for that. Oh, really?
Okay. $30. 87? Uh-huh.
Like, it said it's a little low, said that the burn thing wasn't good. It said that it was potential for Cigar of the Year, dude, he was like, oh. At an 87. And then he said the inconsistency, yeah.
So when I was reading it, I'm like, kind of putting the score in my head as I kind of go, like, I'm 88 with you, kind of off the jump, maybe a little bit lower, maybe 86. And then when he says Cigar of the Year, I'm like, okay, well, it's got to be 91 or above. So I would have gotten, I probably would have won if I was playing against you, Because I probably would have said 91. You would have been closer.
Yeah, by one. Yeah, you'd have been closer. It was a good try, Phil. Yeah, good job.
Now he got to use my sparklers. You could have just texted me the number and then he would never use them. I tried to signal you, but you weren't paying attention. I saw that.
I did this. I legit tried to help you. Oh, you sandbagging motherfucker. I didn't want him to use my sparklers.
And then you have to go back and watch the last two minutes of the show again, because maybe the signaling wasn't on there, but I tried signaling, and then when he said 80, there had to be a look of disappointment in my face, like this idiot did not see the signs that I'm trying to get him to do. I just don't want her to push the button. 83 is all he had to say, we're fine. Yeah, I was thinking 85, but I was like, ah, he said low.
You would have been there. Like, you could have done it. You would have got it done. But instead, I pushed the button.
You could have done the blue, blue, blue, blue, blue. But no, here we are. Well, let's redo this. No, it's too late now.
No, I was actually kind of concentrating on, um, there's like these little, little dots all over your camera for some reason. Little dots all over my camera? Yeah, it's kind of weird. He gets distracted by anything.
Well, this is my job, Greg. What was the movie? Was it Top? No, it wasn't.
It wasn't Top Gun. What was the knockoff with Charlie Sheen? Hot Shots Part 2. Hot Shots Part 2.
Yeah. I do where the guy sneezed into the radar. Yeah. It's a huge blimp.
Yeah. It's coming. That's exactly what's going on over there. I'm looking at this screen.
And I'm seeing breakfast remnant on my... They're everywhere. It's cancer. Okay, do you have anything else to add?
Triple G? No. Mr. Phil?
No. Okay. Well, hey. Like and subscribe wherever you're viewing or listening to the show.
com where I'm about to drop a new shirt. Yes. I should have dropped it today. But I just didn't get to it.
But I'll give you a hint. Someone's a Superstar. Oh, yes, there's a shirt about me. Perfect.
That's all, yeah. Look, look, Greg. Oh, it better not be about him. Someone's a Superstar.
com, us, Cigar Hustlers podcast. And thank you so much for listening or watching this show. We hope we provided great edutainment for you today as we do every weekday. And that's it.
And I don't have a remote. Oh, here it is. Bye bye. Bye bye.
Show Notes
Podcast episode timeline
Timecodes are approximate because the transcript contains pause markers rather than absolute timestamps.
00:00 — Cold open and host introductions
01:49 — Preview of today’s stories and cigar news
02:43 — Subscription, merchandise, and Patreon plugs
04:03 — Unicorn mask auction results
07:29 — Phil Sweeney’s surprise mask gift
08:44 — Listener comments and updates to the CH Pod Lounge
17:29 — Main show officially begins
18:40 — USS Abraham Lincoln: deployment extensions, reported shortages, and sailors’ mental health
23:22 — Sixteen Ohio inmates hospitalized after a lightning strike
28:42 — FAA recruits gamers for air traffic control careers
31:37 — How to train your body for a more predictable morning bathroom routine
36:36 — Cigar news begins
36:40 — Viva La Vida Classic and El Pulpo price increases
40:55 — HVC Pan Caliente 10th Anniversary begins shipping
45:44 — Nestor Miranda Private Reserve Lancero returns
47:13 — “What’s the Score?” game begins
49:46 — AVO Expressions Robusto review and score predictions
54:46 — Final score revealed: 87
58:19 — Closing plugs, upcoming merchandise, and sign-off
The crew tackles reports of harsh conditions aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln, an unusual lightning strike at an Ohio prison, the FAA’s push to recruit gamers, and tips for a more predictable morning routine. In cigar news, they cover price increases, new releases from HVC and Nestor Miranda, and finish with a lively round of “What’s the Score?” featuring the AVO Expressions Robusto.
USS Abraham Lincoln Crisis, Ohio Prison Lightning Strike & Major Cigar News