ACHP Episode 436 Santa Is Real And He Pays His Debits
Episode Summary
Episode 436 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast is the crew's Christmas Eve novelty show: host "Palmer" plays Santa Claus for the entire episode (he lost a bet to the moneymakers and had to pay up), with Boots Hippelhouser on engineering and co-host Mikey Stefan Gavich rounding out the desk. Between fielding "phone calls" from Luciano, Justin Andrews, and Charlie Minato, the guys work through the usual news blocks with a holiday twist.
News coverage starts with Jim Beam pausing production at its flagship Kentucky distillery — a look at how the bourbon glut, multi-year barrel aging, and Kentucky's barrel tax make long-term planning a gamble for Suntory-owned Beam, plus reassurance that no workers are being laid off. From there the show digs into the Anna's Archive scrape of Spotify, roughly 300 terabytes and metadata for nearly 99.9% of the platform's 256 million tracks, and what a pirated open music database could mean for AI training after Anthropic's $1.5 billion book-piracy settlement. Also covered: a bill from Sen. Mike Lee and Rep. Tim Burchett, the Cartel Marque and Reprisal Reauthorization Act of 2025, which would revive letters of marque so private citizens could seize drug cartel assets; and the 70-year history of NORAD's Santa tracker, including how a misprinted Sears Roebuck ad and Col. Harry Shoup started the tradition.
In cigar news, the crew covers the opening of Cigars International's new Orlando store on Conroy Road in the Millennium District — a converted building rather than ground-up construction, at 9,900 square feet with an 8,700-square-foot humidor, walk-in humidor, full-service bar, and indoor/outdoor lounges, with a grand opening party set for January 10, 2026. They note CI's place under Scandinavian Tobacco Group alongside Thompson Cigar, Cigar Bid, Cigar.com, Pipes and Cigars, and Club Macanudo, and touch on Steve Saka's public frustration over rising prices and the Dominican factory seizure affecting STG production. There's also a job-move item: "Fake Alan Rubin" landing a new role at Santa Clara.
The show closes with What's the Score, scoring a Halfwheel review by Brian Burt of the San Lotano Oval Habano Limited Edition Pigskin Super Smoke Figurado from AJ Fernandez — a 6x60 box-pressed figurado with an Ecuadorian Habano 2000 wrapper that earned praise for earth, cedar, spice, pepper, and coffee notes but was dinged hard for persistent burn issues. Boots takes the win with an 84 guess against the actual score.
In This Episode
- 01Santa Guest-Hosts on Christmas EveThe host appears in character as Santa Claus to pay off a lost bet, fielding gag phone calls throughout the episode.
- 02Jim Beam Pauses Kentucky ProductionWhy the bourbon glut, multi-year barrel aging, and Kentucky's barrel tax pushed Suntory-owned Beam to halt output for upgrades without layoffs.
- 03Anna's Archive Scrapes SpotifyAn activist pirate group pulled roughly 300TB of Spotify data and metadata for nearly the entire 256-million-track catalog, raising AI training questions.
- 04Letters of Marque Return?Sen. Mike Lee and Rep. Tim Burchett's Cartel Marque and Reprisal Reauthorization Act of 2025 would let private citizens seize cartel assets abroad.
- 05NORAD Santa Tracker HistorySeven decades of NORAD tracking Santa, and the Sears Roebuck typo and Col. Harry Shoup story that accidentally launched the tradition.
- 06Cigars International Opens in OrlandoThe new Conroy Road store's 9,900 sq ft footprint, 8,700 sq ft humidor, bar and lounges, plus STG's growing brick-and-mortar portfolio.
- 07Industry Job Move"Fake Alan Rubin" lands a new position at Santa Clara, and the crew debates what to call him now.
- 08What's the Score: San Lotano Oval PigskinGuessing the review score on AJ Fernandez's San Lotano Oval Habano Pigskin Super Smoke Figurado, praised for flavor but hammered on burn.
Brands & Cigars Discussed
Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.
Transcript
I'm starting to bring it in. I'm starting to pull it together. Are we on? Wow.
Um, yes, Santa. Welcome to Cigar Hustlers podcast episode 436. I am Santa, your host. And over on the naughty list is Boots Boy, I'm Getting Cold for Christmas Hippelhouser in the engineering department, and then on my left is my co-host Mikey, I wear Schmediums, Stefan Gavich.
This is an XL, sir. Welcome, gentlemen, to the show. Everything is XL. And as a matter of fact, I stole this from the CH Pod merch store this morning.
Oh. Because I didn't have a clean one, so. You know what, Santa? That's a Schmedium.
How about that? We got one for you. Yeah. It's a Schmarge?
That's looking awful snug on you, Santa. It's supposed to be, I'm very jolly. Santa, you got COVID with a couple of little coughs there? I got a little bit of a cold, and I have a big ride later tonight.
This comes out on the toilet. Kind of from Asia continent? You start a day early? No, this comes out on the 23rd.
Oh, the 24th actually, today's the 23rd. It comes out tomorrow. Got it. All right, I tell you, it's a pleasure to be here on Christmas Eve, not any other place.
I'd rather be with all the work I have to do and the sleigh ride starting, but a deal is a deal. And I bet the money, the money makers, and Santa took the spread, not the point, so. So, you bet with the money makers, it didn't work out, you lost, so you got a show. I lost, so I have to do the show on the 24th.
You had to show up. So, here I am. Perfect. Okay.
Now, on today's show, liquor, it seems, isn't as recession-proof as we thought. Yep. Pirates attacked your music library. A congressman wants to reinstate privateering, and it does more than shiver me timbers.
Norrad is up and running, and they can't believe where I am either. " and then I am out of here! Okay, and we also have a job hire that we're going to talk about. Oh yes, and we have a new, we have a press release we're going to go over to.
Oh, wait, oh, I got a phone call. Yes, Lucy? No. No factory this year.
No. You're getting coal. I'm sorry, you've been bad. Don't call me again.
I'm very busy. Goodbye. Sorry, gentlemen. How does one get Santa Claus's number?
You know, it's... You gotta be on a special list, man. It's an elite number. It's a very select few.
However, sometimes it kind of leaks out. Yeah. That's what happens. Yeah, and that's probably what happened in that scenario.
When Santa Claus has too much milk at the milk bar? Yeah. Sometimes, you know, the milk's a little tainted or, you know, a little past the expiration date. It gets a little excessive on the cookies.
I thought it was a little lippy, you know, and he gives out his number. I thought it was milk, it was actually eggnog with vodka. It's milk. Santa, so do you prefer cookies this year, or are you asking for cigars or something?
No, cookies, cigars, whatever you want, I'm good. Yeah, maybe a mixture, that would be nice. Yeah, a little mix of the two. A little bit of each?
A mixture? Yeah, you know. How about all cigars? All cigars?
Yeah. He's got to have a cookie now and then. Santa's got to keep his energy up. It's a long night.
Well, if you keep eating more cookies, that's going to become a small, not a medium. That's okay. The missus will let it out again. Oh, okay.
All right, sorry, but before we begin, how can old Santa get some of that CHPod swag, Mikey? Great question, Santa. Thank you so much. com for all of our latest swag and apparel.
If you buy one, you get the second one 40% off, and if you spend $100 or more, you get free shipping. Yes! We're about to drop our newest shirt, the Smoke and Subscribe. Oh.
I'm getting a lot of letters for them beanies over there, buddy. Yeah, I'm getting some, I'm getting some letters as well. You get that working up, make Santa's life a lot easier. Well, Santa, I'm sorry that, you know, the, the, the elves that I have, they've been a little inundated lately, so.
Well, they've unionized, they're not as receptive as they used to be. Yeah, so, the elves, the, the one, the head elf. The head elf. She doesn't like to touch the, the, the heat press machine for the hat, so.
Oh. She hasn't been properly trained by, you know. Oh, maybe she had a little training class. It's a little training class.
Yeah, so I'll have to work on that to get that up to speed, and when I do that, I'm going to get it done. I promise. I promise. I'm working on it.
I saw a message today from our guys at Real Smoke Podcast. We're on it. I promise. All right.
Jim Beam is hitting pause in production at one of its flagship Kentucky distilleries, and it's not just for dry January. The bourbon giant announced that it will halt production at its main facility. Really? It's been harder for distilleries to confidently plan how much bourbon they'll need years down the road.
That long-term planning is crucial in the bourbon business. Unlike beer or spirits that can be produced and sold quickly, bourbon must age in barrels for years before it ever hits a shelf. Santa's got a little bit of a cold. Yeah, we've already established that.
Distillers have to guess today what drinkers will want tomorrow, and in Kentucky, that guess comes with a price. The state taxes barrels while they age. Ooh, that's not good. Meaning excess production can become a costly gamble.
Jim Bean, which is owned by Suntory, says the pause isn't just about slowing output. The company plans to use the downtime to make improvements at the distillery, investing in upgrades while production is offline. Importantly, the company says workers won't be laid off. Oh, that's good.
Makes Santa's little heart happy. Well, that's good. I mean, you know, you have to continue to invest in your own company. You got to make it better.
And it's difficult when you're constantly working. You know what I mean? Right, everything's just cranking along there. Yeah, so, the bourbon market isn't what it once was.
Do not many people drink bourbon like they used to? No, I think that it's just oversaturated. I think that there's so many options now for bourbon that, you know, Jim Beam is not. Not as, it's tasty, I guess I'm having my cup right here.
Yeah, I was going to ask you about that, Sam. They have, I read they have over a million barrels stored. That sounds like a lot. And then they get charged like 75-something, a thousand sounds excessive, but their taxes are just unbelievable.
Yeah, so taxes are bad? Yeah, taxes are bad. We don't have that up at the North Pole. No?
No, I don't tax people. You don't tax them? You don't tax the elves? No.
They're cranky. Well, to some degree, I mean... You'd think little people would be happier, but no, they're always cranky. They're always cranky?
Always cranky. Well, you make them make all those toys. And what do they get? Well, in the off-season, we make stuff for the government.
Oh, yeah? Yeah. Yeah, like COVID vaccines. COVID vaccines.
Yeah, we made all that. We made all the COVID vaccines. Sure. Santa's got to make some money.
Northman Grumman or whatever it's called. Northman Grumman? Yeah, what's it called? North Grumman?
I don't know. He lost some elves during this situation. Military. We make some stuff for, you know, some of the military people.
Yeah. Anyone with Boeing? Things I've signed, I can't discuss. I'm very sorry.
Yeah? Okay. They now have a rehab center in the North Pole for Santa and the elves. A rehab center?
No, we don't have a rehab center. Yeah, after the needle situation with the COVID vaccines. No, we're fine. All those, we have drug testing at the factory.
You do? Oh, yeah. You make them pee in a miniature cup or? On a candy cane.
On a candy cane. On a candy cane. Oh, then it tells you. If it turns colors, then it's, you know.
Then they're tainted? Yes. Oh, is that where all the Skittle candy canes come from? Yes, exactly.
How'd you know? He's not smarter than you said he was. Wow. Apparently.
All right, next story. Do they pee on the Sober Mesa brulees as well? Oh, yes, they do. They make them sweet.
Only on some of them? Only on some of them. Yeah, it's inconsistent. It's inconsistent.
He has shipping problems all the time. Yeah, when they pee on a Sober Mesa, it becomes a Stillwell star. It becomes a Stillwell star. Right, that's what happens.
If they pee on it too much, it becomes a Stillwell star. Right. Did you see his Facebook post yesterday? No.
He's very upset that he has to raise prices. Oh, yeah? I'm sure. Right.
I keep doing the spreadsheets and the prices keep coming higher. I don't know what to do. You're not going to believe this. Cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching.
Everybody keeps commenting on it. Oh, it'll be okay, Steve. We'll pay it. It'll be fine.
We love you. Make another cup. Repairs to send on Spotify's entire library. Oh.
The world's biggest music streaming service just got scrapped hard. An online pirate activist group known as Anna's Archive, the stupid name of her pirates. Are they affiliated with the Shiny Hunters or whatever the other people were? No.
Claimed it pulled roughly over 300 terabytes of data from Spotify, creating what could become the largest open music database ever assembled, according to Billboard in a blog post, the anonymous group, well they're not anonymous, they said that's what the name was. Right. 6% of the songs that actually received plays on Spotify. They literally robbed them.
They stole music. And nobody is being arrested. They're anonymous at Danny's Archives. No, they said the name of the company.
Well, the name of the group. It's not like it's an LLC. What? It's pirate.
It's a pirate group. Right. Like the shiny whatever word the other day that stole something else. The shiny happies.
Shiny Happies. No, they're not as good as an A. I mean, Anna's Archives, that's AA. Shiny Hunters.
Is that what they were? They were Shiny Hunters, I think? I don't know. Listen, we apologize.
Please don't attack us. We don't listen to our own show. The Hunters Heinies or whatever there. Totally in roughly 86 million tracks of music.
That's a lot of music. 9% of the platform's 256 million total tracks, Including song titles, album art, and other identifying information. So far the group has released the metadata publicly. What is metadata?
What is it? I have no idea. It's in the air. Oh, in the cloud?
Even Santa doesn't understand the cloud. Yeah. Nope. You ride in the clouds.
What? Don't you ride in the clouds? No, I ride in a sleigh. Who is this guy?
Yeah, I don't know. I just have to say, if you guys, if you're listening to this podcast, you got to turn it on YouTube. Because I got to give it to Palmer. It's a visual show.
I'm not Palmer, I'm Santa Claus. I'm Santa Claus over here for being such a good sport on our show. With the actual music files expected to follow, Spotify confirmed the incident in a statement saying it disabled user accounts involved in unlawful scraping. He keeps saying scraping.
Scrapping? Scraping? Rolled out new safeguards and is actively monitoring for suspicious behavior. The company did not comment on how the data was accessed or how long the scraping may have gone.
It's undetected. It hasn't been going on for a long time. Right, that's about it. Oh, maybe they got one of those fast connect things.
Yeah, maybe they have AT&T fibers. They have AT&T fibers. Coming to Orange City, they started jigging my yard today. You said it was like 900 terabytes or something.
Yeah, it's ridiculous. 86 million songs or something. Yeah, that's wild, dude. Yeah, that...
Dial up, that'd be like six years. Yeah. My Napster would have exploded. Right.
They would have got a virus before then it shut down and then restarted. Couldn't they have got it somewhere easier? Spotify? No, Anna's Archives.
No, I think that's probably one of the best databases for music. What do you do with the music once you have it? You sell it? Well, they're gonna create an open platform, like they said, and probably charge a dollar.
Where you could just listen to the music for free instead of paying... I could do that now. Just hear commercials. Well, there's no commercials.
Now you don't have the commercials. It's every five songs. But I think it's okay. There's obviously a reason why Anna did it.
I pay monthly. Well, a lot of these, yeah, you're silly. A lot of you guys do it just to do it. You think so?
" Oh, yeah, I can. They should come over, and we should just steal a billion dollars just to do it. Why not? Challenge accepted.
Well, at that point, it's Bitcoin, and then they're tied to Chen Z. Right. And then everybody's looking for you again, and they close your factory. Well, joke's on them.
I don't have one. Boots is that guy in the movie. " Right. Joke's on to you.
Show library dedicated to preserving human knowledge and culture. Until now, its focus had been primarily on books and academic research. The Spotify scrape marked its first major push into music beyond piracy concerns. The dump could also be a major prize for AI developers, assuming they're willing to risk using it.
5 billion after a federal judge ruled improperly used pirated books to train the AI models. You're right. A billion seems to be like the baseline fee now. We're just throwing the B around like it's nothing.
In today's world, it's a billion or nothing. Yeah. What are we doing? Hey, you get a million in the bank?
Hey, nope. Not even a blackmail. Not worth it. He's only got a million.
You're hearing all these stories. I've come to the realization that I need to up my life insurance. Yeah. It's just not enough.
Sorry, phone's ringing again. Uh-oh. Hello? Hello?
Yes. You gotta do the voice. You gotta do the voice for me. Can you do the voice?
Carlito does its Mario voice. It's hilarious. It's me, Mario. I know.
What do you want? No, Luciana already called. He wants that one. You've got to find another one.
Luciana already called? All right. All right. Tell your daughter I said hi.
All right. Bye. Wow. Sorry.
Tell your daughter I said hi? Sorry. A lot of people are calling. It's getting close to Christmas.
Gorrad's on high alert. I don't like these people. They follow me around. Do you go on airplane mode when you're traveling in the sleigh?
No. My wife has to call. all the planes. And the elves track me to make sure, you know, they advise me of weather and, you know, wars and stuff.
Wars? Sometimes there's wars. Oh, wars. Wars.
What type of wars? Well, it's usually over in the Middle East. They don't do Christmas. Oh, only in the Middle East.
They don't do Christmas, so I'm not a thing for them. Isn't that where I'm just a target? Christmas was just a target. All right, this Christmas season marks seven Five decades of the North American Aerospace Defense Command tracking Santa Claus on radar.
The bastards. As he flies his reindeer powered sleigh around the globe, NORAD tracks Santa, but only Santa knows his route. That's right, you sons of bitches. Which means we cannot predict where and when he will arrive at your house.
Nope. Said a senior NORAD official. Fighter pilots have intercepted Santa many times over the years. When they do, the pilots tip their wings in greetings and often take photos, the official said.
Yeah, that flashbulb is getting in my eyes when they do that. It's not nice. It's messed up. NORAD has Santa cams in space to take video of him flying.
These videos appear online almost every hour on Christmas Eve. m. Ugh, what a long night. Children can call, then there's a phone number.
You know how that got started in the NORAD thing? How? You really don't know? No.
Sears Roebuck did a Christmas ad where you could call Santa. They got one digit wrong, and it happened to be the secret number to NORAD. Really? And the colonel or general, whoever was there at the night, played along, because he got so many phone calls, he started talking to the kids saying he was tracking Santa Claus.
No kidding. And then from there, it's history. Wow. Did your dad do that?
Because that's part of Kmart. Happy little accidents. No, that was, well, it was eventually, but not back when he was there. Yeah, that was, you know, back in the late 1800s.
1800s? Yeah. Sears Robo. He was in the 50s.
It's okay. Late 1800s. 1958. You can get a wagon.
Man, Craftsman Tools have been around for a long time. Right. He went city, he went town to town with his covered wagon, opened it up, and sold his wares. Yeah.
Santa is currently at the North Pole. No, I'm not. Where he lives with Mrs. Claus and the elves who make the toys and take care of the reindeer.
Santa had a debt to pay. I just, you know. The moneymaker's debt to pay. I had to pay a debt to the moneymaker, so this is where I am.
And Santa always pays his debts. Reindeer launch from the North Pole very early in the morning for the famous trip. I know, it's getting late, guys. I'm going to have to wrap this up.
The minute they launch NORAD starts to track, and the officials said besides tracking Santa, NORAD is responsible for Aerospace and Maritime Warnings North American Defense. S. and Canadian militaries. You know how you tell them apart?
How? Canadians have that funny Mountie hat on. Yeah, they all wear them? The Canadians.
Well, they tip their hand and they go, Yeah, they always have a beer in their hand, and they eat the, their bacon's round. What is that? That's not bacon. It's Canadian bacon, that's what it's called.
No, it's ham. It's in the name. It's ham. They call it bacon.
Well, what is, bacon is pork. It's the same animal. Yeah. They're fucking confused.
And I lost. Right. You lost the bet. I lost the bet.
Stop cursing. Stop cursing over there. Cursed too much. He said the B word.
Santa's allowed. Hey, this is a, uh, Santa's allowed. That's loud. Oh, Colonel Harry Shoup was a commander on duty.
He received the first call from a child asking for Santa. And instead of dismissing it, Shoup played along initially gruffly, but then with warmth, realizing the child was cirrus, he had his staff begin tracking Santa on the radar, assuming the children, assuring the children their calls would be answered. The tradition, the calls continue all night, and the practice was passed on to NORAD when it formed in 1958, becoming the global phenomenon it is today. I didn't even know it was a thing.
You know it was a real thing? Yeah, I had no idea that that was a thing. Oh, that's how it got started. I didn't know that it was going on all the time.
I looked it up, I didn't remember which catalog it was, but I knew it was a, like it ended in a seven and they put a nine and that was the secret NORAD number. Yeah. How did you get this number? The most recent clip I saw about the original Saint Nicholas was the fact that he threw hands on somebody when the guy said that Jesus was not the savior or something.
Is there some kind of story about that? I don't know if it's true or not, but I saw it on social media. Well, we're kind of like Black Panther. We pass it on one to the other one.
I mean, it wasn't me who threw the hands, it was some other guy. It was the OG Saint Nick? Yeah, the OG, right. Got it.
Except we have this mistletoe-looking plant, not that pink thing. Right, so it's Wakanda forever? Well, in Black Panther... We don't do that.
We're not from Wakanda. Is there vibranium involved or no? No. No vibranium.
No. In Black Panther, like, to become Black Panther, like, you have to kill the Black Panther. No, when the Black Panther dies, you don't kill him. That was just that one guy.
The bad one. So did you have to kill the original St. Nicholas to become Santa Claus? No, not a king.
It's not Highlander, bro. Well, there can only be one. There is only one. We don't talk about that.
First rule being Santa, you don't talk about being Santa. Got it. Alright, Pirates of the USA. We got more pirates in the news, gentlemen.
Several Republican lawmakers are pushing a surprisingly old idea In December 2025, Senator Mike Lee of Utah and Representative Tim Birkchett of Tennessee introduced legislation that would revive a form of privateering not seen since the 19th century. The proposal, titled the Cartel Marquet and Reprisal Reauthorization Act of 2025, would allow the President to issue letters of Marquet and reprisals to private citizens or entities. S. borders.
That would be pandemonium. They would be making pirates. So like, we're pirating. We could, if we had a boat.
S. territory. Yeah. So we have to go into international waters, and then we can confiscate drugs.
Then what do we do with them? Do they buy them from us? They're illegal. Yeah, I'm just not understanding this.
Supporters argue the measure could weaken cartels financially without deploying US troops, leveraging private actors to disrupt trafficking networks. Critics, however, warn the bill raises serious legal, ethical, and diplomatic concerns, including the risk of vigilantism and international fallout. While the idea may sound archaic, its backers say extraordinary threats require unconventional tools, reviving a constitutional power. I believe it has been ignored for far too long.
Okay. Isn't it, I mean, there's some irony in the fact that Utah is a landlocked state, and that guy came up. He's like, "Hey, you know what we need? " Yeah, Mike Lee, shouldn't you be doing something different in Utah, instead of thinking about how we can take drugs?
I really like Pirates of the Caribbean, man. Well, don't you remember how it ended? Yeah, but I have a jar of dirt. Is there going to be another Pirates of the Caribbean?
Yes, they've got him back. He's back? He's back. Jack Sparrow's back.
A lot of money to get him back. I'm sure. Are you talking about Jack Sparrow or the other guy? Yeah, Jack Sparrow.
Okay. I mean, you do a movie and you go, "Look, there's too much controversy. We can't have you be in the movie. " Then the next movie they go, "I'm sorry, that movie really sucked.
" Well, you can, but Jackie getting paid. Well, I mean, they slandered the guy. That's why he just said. Yeah, they raked him through the coals.
Don't you listen when Santa talks? Sometimes. Oh, Santa's getting uppity now. Santa's not really getting me anything for Christmas.
Why is your cheeks so red, Santa? Rosy cheeks. It's in the poem. Haven't you seen the poem?
It's in the poem. Who is he? Jim Beam. Where did you get him?
You know exactly who he is, Santa. You know everybody. Yeah, come on. I know, but certain things I know I can't talk about.
Okay. All right, you have a video? No video? This is where Mikey Palmer puts the video.
No video? No video of Santa? No Santa video. We didn't need a video.
You're here. Yeah. Alright. Your elf, Palmer, told me not to do anything because Santa was going to be here.
Don't do anything, Santa. We're going to interview Santa. That's so great that you played Palmer into an elf. Yeah, you blame my poor friend Palmer.
Oh, phone drink again. Oh, please, God be Luciano. I'm sorry, it's a very busy time of year for Santa. Let's see.
Please be Luciano. Yes, Justin. Wow. I can't fire him again on Christmas, he's already been fired on Christmas.
Poor Jack. You can't fire him again on Christmas? Not funny the second time. That's just mean.
We should call him and make sure that he's still employed after the end of the year. Okay, all right. Bye. Sorry, it's Justin Andrews.
Fresh out of a meeting. Yep. Nice. Cigars International Orlando opened.
Oh, boy. Cigars International's latest brick-and-mortar store has opened. It's located at 4158 Conroy Road in Orlando's Millennium District. It is the spot in downtown Orlando to go to.
I wouldn't even go there this time of year. It's gotta be packed right there at the mall. Yeah. I would go.
Now? I'm gonna tell you something. Just to promote, just to be happy for them. I saw a video, my buddy's down from Virginia, and he went to the one in Tampa two days ago?
Yeah. It was packed. I mean, you can't even walk. Really?
Yeah. Wow. Why would you go to that? The bars are huge.
Yeah. Okay. All right. The recently opened, like the recently opened Newport, Kentucky stores location was an existing building and not a ground up construction like most of the company's existing stores.
Because of this, there are some slight differences between the New Orlando location And other stores. Most notably, it's 9,900 square feet larger than the 5,000, 7,000 square feet footprints in most of the other stores fall into. Because of the extra size, the store's humidor is 8,700 square feet. Like other stores, it features a large walk-in humidor, full-service bar, as well as indoor/outdoor lounges.
The new location is an exciting addition to our growing brick-and-mortar presence, says Heather Zidane, VP of Marketing Online and Retail in a press release. We invite the Orlando Cigar community to step inside, connect with our products, staff, and experience our brand first-hand. While the store is already open, a grand opening party is scheduled for January 10th, 2026. Cigars International is the world's largest retailer of cigars and is part of a massive omni-channel retail operation It's a region owned by Scandinavian Tobacco Group.
It is best known for its mail order business, which includes a website and catalog, but also has long operator retail stores. In the last decade, STG has ramped up its investment in the physical stores. This is the, how many stores do they have, gentlemen? Who wants to guess?
Didn't we talk about this one time? Ninth. Uh, 15. 15, we did guess, you got it right.
On the mail! Today's going to be a good day. There's one open, Jacksonville, Lutz, Orlando, Tampa, Newport. Tampa, Newport, Bethlehem, Bethlehem, Hamburg, South Fred, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
com, Pipes and Cigars, and Club Macanudo. STG also sells dozens of different brands that aren't being made right now because the factory was seized in the Dominican Republic. Oh, you know about that, Santa? Yes, that was the one that Lucy wanted me to get him.
Oh, Lucy? Yeah, I wanted that one, I don't know. You know, I like that nickname for him, Santa, that was good. Lucy?
You can't, you can't have another one, you've already fucked up three. Oh, yeah, yes. What are you gonna do? Oh, my God.
The guy keeps wanting more. Wow. Oh, one more call, I got another call. Oh, please.
Yes, Jack. I gotta put the skit to bed already. They're getting tired of my phone calls, Jack. Okay, we'll fire Justin.
All right, sorry. Justin's out at STG? TG? Oh, I'm sorry, did I say that out loud?
Yeah. You can't hear these things. Oh, sorry. Alright, it's time for the Santa Claus version of What's the Score?
Well, we gotta talk about the new hire. Oh, yeah, plus it was a new hire. Okay, we'll talk about the new hire first. I was gonna do it at the end, you can do it now.
So, Michael, who got hired? Fake Alan Rubin, you know Fake Alan Rubin? Fake Alan Rubin? Yeah.
Yes, I always get his presence mixed up with real Alan Rubin. We always talk about how, like, he's in an app. He likes to nap. He's lost a couple jobs here, and now...
Which is the one? He just hadn't had a new one. He's got a new one. It's at a big one.
Uh-oh. Cigars International. No, Santa Clara. He's the new manager for Cigars International.
He's at Santa Clara. He's coming to work at my shop at the North Pole. No, he's at Santa Clara. Oh.
Yeah. Santa Clara. That's a big one. That's a big W.
Yeah. Good for him. Congratulations, Vic. Congrats, Alan.
Maybe we shouldn't call him fake Alan Rubin. What do you want to call him? Just standard Alan Rubin? How about Alan Rubin number two?
Alan Rubin, not Alec Bradley, Alan Rubin? See how that doesn't roll off the tongue? Alan Rubin doesn't have two sons? That's a little long, too.
Yeah, you don't know if he has kids. How far do you want to keep going there, Salem? Alan Rubin likes to take naps. Okay.
All right. Congrats, Alan. Congratulations, sir. Thank you very much.
If you'd like to come on the show, give us a call. We'd love to have you on. Love to have you on. You've never met me.
I've never met you in person. I'll only see you when you're sleeping when I bring the presents in. All right. All right, you guys ready?
Yep. What's the score? That's right, ladies and gentlemen, the game show that has taken the industry by storm. Today's first cigar is December 10th, 2023, Brian Burt, AJ Fernandez.
Brian does no longer associate it. Yeah, I was gonna... What's the cigar? Just AJ Fernandez?
No, it is the San Latino, Oval, Habano, Pigskin, Super Smoke, Figurado... There you go. This is a delicious cigar. Alright, I like the long names.
92. Yeah, that's a good number. I'm gonna go 91. Wow.
Cigar Reviewed, the San Latino, Oval, Habano, Limited Edition, Pigskin, Super Smoke, Figurado, from Nicaragua. A. Rapper, Ecuadorian Habano 2000, Binder, Nicaraguan Filler, Honduran and Nicaraguan 6x60, Box Pressed Figurado. You should have done a Christmas.
There wasn't any, I liked. Still All Star wasn't out there? Uh, oh, you know, I didn't think about that one. Uh, they smoked two.
Ninety-one. Ninety-two. The cigar delivers a rich and enjoyable flavor profile once it settles in with consistent notes of earth, cedar, spice, pepper, and a welcome coffee note in the second third that integrates well without overpowering the blend. 93, 92.
Despite the construction challenges, the cigar smokes cool and produces a solid ash that holds for over an inch, and the draw remains within an acceptable range throughout the experience. 92. 93. Persistent burn issues plague the cigar from start to finish, requiring multiple touch-ups and relights, which eventually introduce bitterness in the final third and detracts from the overall enjoyment.
This isn't the last one, right? There's a final thought, but I have a phone call, but I'm not taking it. 91. Please, God, take the phone call.
92. Oh, he's poo-pooed on my phone call. Take the call, take the call, we're only at 30 minutes, ring, ring, ring, ring, hello Mr. William, white pants, you want white pants, oh it's Coop, no it's Mr.
William, it's Mr. William, sure, I go what size, I don't think they come in that, oh please go, white, alright I'll see what I can do, alright give my best to Mrs. William, alright bye, bye, bye. Mrs.
William? Oh, her name's William, too. Oh. Sounds so whiny on the phone.
I can't. I can't believe he'd be able to call you, you know, he's so busy on his top 25 right now. Well, only puts out one a day, it's easy to keep track. I've not smoked, the final thoughts, I've not smoked many of the San Latino ovals, but the ones I have, I've enjoyed.
The pigskin offer a unique shape that I actually really like, along with an enjoyable profile. The burn issues, however, put a huge damper on not only the flavor of the cigar, but the overall enjoyment of the cigar, too. When I'm smoking a cigar, the last thing I want to do is have to babysit the burn line. I felt like it was doing this almost constantly with this cigar.
Overall, I did enjoy the cigar and wouldn't hesitate suggesting you go pick up a few and try it for yourself. He said that he had an inch of ash. Yeah. Where did the bad burn come from?
I don't know. The burn line is crooked. Apparently it's a thing for this dude. That's probably why he's not there no more.
This guy's faded off, right? Brian? No, Burt. Burt.
This is Burt. 87. That's a good number. Now wait, before you give your final vote here, you're coming off a streak.
Yeah, I know Santa. Did he win most of the week? He won a couple, yeah. So, keep that in mind.
Santa, listen to me. If there's anything I want for Christmas, it's to beat Mikey today. Sorry. Not even like a switch of the hat or anything?
Like, move the ball over to the left side? Santa's got coal for you this year, buddy. I lost a bet. I'm going to help with you.
This is a good cigar. Have you smoked this? How have you smoked this? An oval, a San Latano oval?
It's shaped like a football. It's painted like a football. This might be a different one than we're talking about. It's from 2010 or something like that.
You were seven. Yeah, I wasn't seven. We were five at the time. No.
It was before you were born. Yeah. Remember? 86.
And what did you say? 87. 84. Yeah!
Congratulations. Yes, and there's no more shows for this week. I win. Well, there's two more shows, but no more what to score.
Okay. Oh. Two more shows, no more, oh, you mean, okay, yeah. Reruns.
Yeah. You got anything else to add? Santa is hot. Santa's hot?
Santa's starting to sweat, which means the fever broke, so it's good news for Santa. Good news. Congratulations, Santa. Thank you very much.
Man, you can eat more cookies. Well, Santa, thank you for your time. Thank you for coming on to the podcast. You know, a bet's a bet.
When Santa loses, Santa pays. And we hope everybody has a Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday. Yes. And we'll see you when we get to the other side of it and before the beginning of the new year.
Goodbye. Enjoy the two reruns. I picked some special ones. Ooh.
Santa left presents. All right. All right, bye. Bye.
Goodbye from Boots the Winner. Go, you, you, you. We are able to do unfiltered, unbiased opinions, all things cigars, the personalities in the cigar world. Your backing makes it possible for us to keep it real for our listeners.
Cheers to you. com and search the Cigar Hustler Podcast. F*** that one up.
Show Notes
Now on today’s Show Liquor it seems isn’t as recession proof as we thought! Pirates attacked your music library! A congress man want to reinstate privateering and it does more then Shiver Me Timbers! Norad is up and running and they can believe where I am either! Then in Cigar News the Newest member of the Orlando tobacco cartel opens its doors! Then a brief what’s the score and Im out of here!