ACHP Episode 443 "Amazon Prime Pays Off Big"

Episode Summary

Episode 443 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast is hosted by Mike Preston with Boots Hippelhauser in engineering — Mike Palmer is absent, though his misspelled show notes and possibly-fabricated news stories are a running joke throughout. The guest is Law Ream of Davidoff Cigars, who uses the episode as his official "coming out" as the new Camacho Brand Activation Manager (the Camacho ambassador role), stepping over from Zino. He explains that Jack Toraño has moved up to Product Manager overseeing Camacho marketing for the U.S., teases the Camp Camacho tours he'll be hosting — complete with free tattoos unlocked once someone gets the Camacho scorpion inked — and talks about why he pushed for the Camacho job: the brand's prestige, its 1960s roots, travel, and the chance to work with more than one blend.

The news block covers the $2.5 billion FTC settlement with Amazon over deceptive Prime enrollment and cancellation practices, including the $51 automatic refunds, the January 23rd claim notice deadline and the June 2019–June 2025 eligibility window, with the crew arguing the whole claims process is designed so consumers don't bother. Two other stories — a Thai woman waking inside her coffin before cremation and a Lakeland traffic stop turning up "parihuana" and cash — spark a long debate about whether Palmer is feeding them AI-generated fake news, as he apparently has before.

Cigar news includes Surpassion Cigars' King of Battle, a 6x50 Toro with a broadleaf wrapper, Mexican San Andrés binder and American/Dominican fillers made at Tabacalera La Isla in the Dominican Republic, released for the U.S. Army's 250th anniversary at $13.50 in 10-count boxes; Pro Cigar's new Retailer Exclusive Program (REP) for retailers attending the 2026 Pro Cigar Festival in Santiago, February 17–20, which the hosts compare to the TAA and argue needs Fuente or another heavyweight to matter; and Davidoff of Geneva's debut in Manila with three boutiques at Shangri-La The Fort, Makati Shangri-La and City of Dreams.

Much of the episode's color comes from Law's military background — SWCC in Navy Special Warfare, SERE/POW school, waterboarding, a fistfight with a SEAL over a twin .50 cal mount, a year in the Philippines — alongside Boots' time as a Navy master-at-arms and K-9 handler. The show closes with "What's the Score," scoring Patrick Lagreid's 2021 review of the Zino Nicaragua Robusto: gorgeous wrapper, cheap-looking band, $6.50 MSRP, great flavor development that turns harsh in the final third. Boots nails the 88.

In This Episode

1. 01
   Law Ream's Camacho Announcement
   Law Ream reveals on-air that he's the new Camacho Brand Activation Manager for Davidoff, trading Zino yellow for Camacho black.
2. 02
   Camp Camacho Tours and Scorpion Tattoos
   Law previews hosting Camp Camacho this year, where free tattoos for everyone unlock only after someone takes the Camacho scorpion.
3. 03
   Amazon's $2.5B FTC Prime Settlement
   Breakdown of the $1B civil penalty, $1.5B in refunds, $51 checks, the January 23 notice date and the 2019–2025 eligibility window.
4. 04
   Is Palmer Feeding Us Fake News?
   The Thai woman waking in her coffin and the Lakeland 'parihuana' bust prompt suspicion that the absent host is planting AI-written stories.
5. 05
   Surpassion King of Battle
   A veteran-founded brand releases a 6x50 Toro with broadleaf wrapper, San Andrés binder and American/Dominican filler for the Army's 250th.
6. 06
   Pro Cigar's Retailer Exclusive Program
   The hosts pick apart Pro Cigar's new REP initiative for 2026 festival retailers and debate whether it can rival the TAA without Fuente.
7. 07
   Davidoff Opens Three Manila Boutiques
   Davidoff of Geneva enters the Philippine market at Shangri-La The Fort, Makati Shangri-La and City of Dreams, with Law sharing Manila stories.
8. 08
   SWCC, SEALs and SERE School
   Law's Navy Special Warfare stories — SWCC vs. SEAL rivalry, POW training, waterboarding — plus Boots' master-at-arms and K-9 days.
9. 09
   What's the Score: Zino Nicaragua Robusto
   The crew guesses Patrick Lagreid's Half Wheel score for the $6.50 Zino Nicaragua Robusto, praising the wrapper and panning the band.

Brands & Cigars Discussed

Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.

Transcript

It is Wednesday. Welcome to a Cigar Hustlers podcast, episode 443. I'm not Mike Palmer. I'm Law Ream of Davidoff Cigars, the Camacho ambassador.

The Camacho Man. This is my coming out. This is your coming out? This is my coming out.

Yes! Oh my God. We haven't even announced it to the employees at Davidoff York. No kidding.

Yeah. Well, because I just saw a clip with you, I think you're on like Simply Stogies or something. Yeah. And you're in all yellow.

Yep. I was like, wait a second, I know, now look at you. Yeah, that was a week ago too, yeah. Was it?

Yep. Just a week ago. Yep, December 30th. You came in on your Harley, look at you.

You look so much, you know, so much more intimidating now, like, I feel obligated to buy Camacho from you. This, this brand, I feel like this brand. The brand is me. This is you.

I am law. I love it. All right. So you're officially the Camacho, what?

Brand Activation Manager. Oh, you are, and Jack has moved up somewhere? Product Manager. Ah.

So that, he actually runs like the whole marketing department. Oh, really? Yeah, he just stepped in and took over, like, it was impressive. No kidding.

Yeah. Which sucks because he's not funny anymore. He's so busy now. He was so funny when he had no responsibility.

He was pretty funny. Yeah. We'll have to bring that back. We'll have to get it from him.

So. All right. Continue. I lost a bet with the money makers.

So here I am. Oh my goodness. I don't know what that means. Okay.

So, uh, Boots here is the, is, he's got a group of people called the money makers. And they bet together or whatever. And he always says that he's made like a ton of money. However, whenever we talk about him picking a bet, it's like an 80% chance that it loses.

So we're so confused as to how he's made money on the moneymakers. And like the ongoing bet is like Santa Claus was here. Santa Claus had to show up because he bet with the moneymakers. And because he lost, he had to show up.

So because you bet with the moneymakers and you lost, you had to, here you are. This is the punishment? This is the punishment. You need to up your punishments.

You need to do better. Today with me in engineering is Boots. I love Zion Cigars. Hippelhauser.

Hello. Yeah, see, you're so new to this, so the Camacho thing is so fresh that Palmer didn't even have you identified as, and he wrote Zion, not Zeno. It says Zion, you know? Well, that was probably by design.

Okay, you say Zion Cigars? Yeah, you know, that's probably by design with Palmer. He normally spells things wrong. I don't think it's by design.

I think it's just how it happened. I hear Zionism is pretty popular these days. So is Zeno. It's very in.

It's very in. And my co-host, Mr. Mike Preston of Cigar Hustler. Welcome.

Wow. So Preston is a buddy of mine who's doing a flag football thing. He runs a league and we've been working on a podcast with him. So Palmer is jealous of my relationship with Preston.

You got a new Mike in your life. Yes, yes. Well, his name is Preston, but yes, I do have a new Mike, I guess, a younger, more athletic. Younger, better, upgraded to the new model.

Yes. Well, Preston's his first name. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Mm-hmm. That's hilarious, actually. I love how Palmer just keeps it rolling. He's not letting it lie.

It's, you know, it's funny. You know, it's funny, like you can tell when it bothers him because he will, he'll just beat it into the ground. Palmer's not here, but the episode's all about him. That's it, pretty much.

On today's show, Amazon Prime just got way better. i-woman in Thailand got hot under the collar. Okay. Is that like an iPhone, i-woman?

I guess. A-woman in Thailand? A-woman. Got hotter under the collar?

He doesn't check these things. Yeah. Did Palmer drive through Lakeland today? It's not far from here.

Then in cigars, someone releases something new. Pro Cigar has a new program, and then La Ream is going to Manila. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

I've been to Manila. Have you? Yeah. I spent a year in the Philippines.

In the military? Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. What was that like?

Greatest year of my life. Really? Philippines? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. All the military guys like the Philippines. Oh, yeah. You didn't come back with a wife, though.

I did not, because one of our guys did. He married one of the girls he met in a girl bar where he can purchase girls. No way. Yeah.

That's crazy. He's in prison now. And his name is Mike. Oh, well, listen, it's a common name.

I don't know what to tell you. Look, we all don't have cool nicknames, Law. You know what I mean? I mean, he had a few nicknames.

Yeah. Dude, this girl was like, she would hug him and then like blow kisses at us over his shoulder. And we're like, why, why are you marrying this prostitute? This is not okay.

This is not okay. They're still together. Even though he's in prison, they're still together. Really?

Yeah. Must be true love. See? You never know.

You never know. Yeah. Turns out she was great wife material. That's why I love the Philippines.

Even their prostitutes are better wives than here. Oh my goodness. Okay. All right.

So what else you got? Let's go. Before we get started, Preston, I mean Mikey, how does Preston get some of that CH pod swag? com where you can find out all our latest apparel is available, you buy one, you get the second one, 40% off, and $100 or more will get you free shipping.

Make sure you like and subscribe wherever you're watching or viewing this podcast, and make sure you check out and ask your retailer about the new Postana San Andreas Corona Gorda, which we are now taking orders on. Mmm, delicious. Bam. You're smoking the War Bear.

You got it with a name like War Bear. Yes. This is my first time. That's our latest release, our latest size of it.

This is, I love, what kind of, it's not a Perfecto, is it? It's a Grand Perfecto. Grand Perfecto. I like this size.

It's gigantic. You get that thick cigar goodness in the middle, but you don't feel like you have something in your mouth you don't want in your mouth. That's gigantic. Something a little too large, yeah.

Yeah, man, and this blend was a little bit softer than our other ones, because our other sizes have been a little bit smaller, but it's tracking extremely well, and then we put it in, we had these metal cases made here in the States, and we put them on top of the boxes, and then we had them Cerakoted with military colors or whatever, black and silver. Fatigue, military fatigue. Thank you. Yep.

And then we have a hole on it, so you can hang it up when it's done. Nice. Yeah. That's good thinking.

Yeah, it's the Camacho way. I mean, it's the Powstanie way. Camacho, we just put in nice lacquered boxes. Yes, lots of scorpions, lots of scorpions, lots of scorpions, and scorpion, yeah, so, okay, actually, I'm hosting the Camp Camacho tours this year, yeah, so we have, we have unlimited alcohol in the house, and a tattoo artist there all day long, so you can get a tattoo no matter what mental state you're in, and it's free, whatever tattoo you want.

The only rule is one person, it's not, you can't get a tattoo until somebody gets a scorpion tattooed on themselves, the Camacho scorpion, then after that, everyone gets a free tattoo. All tattoos? Yeah. So do you just bring Jack down and he just keeps going and he just keeps getting more and more Camacho tattoos?

I mean, Jack's got the most Camacho of Camachos, you know he got that like six years before he worked for Davidoff? Yeah. He got the scorpion tramp stamp? It's like he put it in his brain, you know what I mean?

Mike, it was like his vision board was his tramp stamp area. " And now look at him, product yada yada. Product manager, yeah. There you go.

It's, it's a big position. S. Yeah? Yeah.

So, can we still, like, Apple pay request $5,000 to him? Have you ever, have you heard about this? No. Oh, yeah, dude, you should, you need to ask him for like, 5 Gs.

See if he pays. Don't say anything. Just send it to him. Did you tell him you were going to give him $5,000 and you requested $5,000?

No, you just ask. This is a thing that he does, I guess, to a couple people. So if you send it to him, now you're in on the whole thing. Nice.

Okay, I'm going to do that right after the show. I could use $5,000. He's making more money now. We could all use $5,000.

I mean, you know? Yeah. If he sends it, you got to cut me at least 10%. I mean, because at least I arranged it.

I feel like that's reasonable. 500 bucks, you know? That's fair. Okay.

All right. It's pretty big comeuppance. And now the news. 5 billion FTC settlement.

5 billion settlement with the Federal Trade Commission over deceptive practices tied to its prime membership program. The settlement reached in 2025 resolved an FTC lawsuit that alleged Amazon used a manipulative enrollment designed to sign customers upper prime without clear consent, gotta have consent, and make cancellation difficult. Unless you're in the Philippines apparently. Funny story about that later.

5 billion to those affected. Automatic refunds of up to $51 were issued to eligible customers between November, December, 2025, either by check or electronic transfer through services like PayPal and Venmo. Those refunds typically went through customers who enrolled through a certain challenged enrollment flows or who use three or fewer prime benefits in a 12 month period. Who uses fewer prime benefits in less than a 12 month period?

Yeah, especially around Christmas time. Are you kidding me, dude? There's packages at the front door almost every goddamn day. Maybe people that like box stores or something, I don't know, it's a good question.

People like box stores? People like the inconvenience of going to a place? There's some people that just want to, you know, support those type of things and not support online. Well, I mean, I get it if it's a small, it's like a mom and pop store, I understand that, but like, well, I'm not, if I'm comparing, if I'm going Walmart or Amazon.

Right, yeah. It's the same thing. Yeah, it's, you know, they're two mega-corporations, so like, whatever, but, um, all right, but is that the end of the story, or what else you got? No, there's more.

Okay, continue. Now customers who did not receive an automatic refund, but are still eligible, can begin the claims process. Notices with instructions on how to file will be sent by email or mail by January 23rd, and recipients will have 180 days from that date of notice to submit their claim forms. Eligibility generally covers prime members who signed up between June 23rd, 2019 and June 23rd, 2025.

I signed up in like 2011. Yeah, right? So, if you didn't sign up in that window, you're not eligible. You're SOL.

It's 51 bucks. Yeah, that's, yeah. You're gonna spend like an hour filling out the claim. Yeah.

And then they send the check like four years later. Yeah, this is definitely designed so that you don't do it, you know? No, all these lawsuits are, the law firm wins. Right.

And then the Federal Trade Commission gets more spending budget. Right. That's it. The consumers never win.

Yeah. What are you going to get, your 50 bucks back? Yeah. If you do everything perfect.

Well, the membership's like 140 bucks or something. Really? Yeah. You're not even getting 50% back.

Right. All right, we're going to give you $51. This is the number that we've determined as okay. I mean, Jeff Bezos could probably pay everybody back their $51 and not bat an eye.

You know what I mean? Yeah, he'll make it back in an hour. Right. S.?

I mean, it's gotta be a staggering number. You know, that's a great question. If you guys keep talking, I'll find out. Okay.

Oh, yeah. I want to know that. Yeah. Multiply that by the $120 fee or whatever it is.

Right. And that's just free money. Right. Yeah.

And we have now. Okay. This is more. There's a little bit more to this story, but it's, that's it.

That's pretty much it. Yeah. Okay. So, I mean, yeah, Amazon Prime, whatever, like, if I got a note, if you received a notification today, "Hey, you're eligible for this $51 return, but you need to fill out this information, you need to submit all this stuff," would you do it?

They said there's about 180 million Amazon Prime members in the US. 180 million. That's 180 million times 120. A ton of money.

Yeah. This is just for... But they're all not Prime members. Times 120?

Yeah. Ooh. 16E10. So, there's an error in there.

Well, E means the number just keeps going. Yeah. So, it's over 2 billion. Right?

16. I think that's trillion. That would be trillion. Is it?

There's no way it's trillion. There's 10 zeros there. No. Well, you said 180 million.

No company makes over a trillion a year. No, it's 21 billion if everybody had a... 21 billion. s government uh we found out they host like uh was it all the airlines computers no kidding yeah and now they're fighting with the usbs are they like yeah we they didn't want to agree to their contract or whatever like oh well you know if we're not exclusive we're We're going to look around and do other options.

Well, I think the USPS is fine with everybody, right? Because UPS... That's the whole point, right? That's what USPS is supposed to be.

They're supposed to be an option for all, right? It's a government-funded program that's supposed to keep everyone else at bay, yeah. Right. And then Amazon's, like, casually flexing on them, like, "I don't know.

I don't know. " Yeah. It doesn't even make any sense. Okay.

All right. Hit us with the next one. Dead Thai Woman Wakes Up Inside Coffin Moments Before Cremation. Oh my God.

That's a good story. That is a great story. That's a horrible story. A woman in Thailand who had been pronounced dead shocked temple staff, they do cremations in temples, like Buddhist temples?

I guess. After waking up inside her coffin just moments before she was due to be cremated, the incident occurred at Wat Rat Pram Tam, a Buddhist temple located outside Bangkok. Temple workers say they were preparing for the cremation ceremony when they suddenly heard knocking and muffled sounds coming from inside the sealed coffin. Oh God.

Startled staff immediately stopped the proceedings, opened the casket where they found the woman alive but weak and disoriented. Emergency services were called and the woman was rushed to a nearby hospital for treatment. Her current condition has not been publicly disclosed. According to local reports, the woman had been declared dead earlier after showing no signs of life through, Though officials have not yet clarified what medical checks were performed before her death was certified, authorities are now investigating whether the incident was caused by a misdiagnosis, a rare medical condition, or human error, cases like this, while extremely rare, have occurred in different parts of the world and often involve conditions such as catalepsy or extremely low vital signs that can mimic death.

For the temple staff and the women's family, the moment was nothing short of miraculous, turning what's supposed to be a final farewell into a dramatic rescue just seconds before it was too late. There's a lot to unpack in that story. Do you think it's real? I mean, it can be, yeah.

Okay, yeah, so here's what I think it might be bullshit. Okay. Okay, the person in the name was not mentioned, the age of the person was not mentioned, and Palmer's evil. And we were talking about being buried alive before.

Oh, yeah. So it's possible that it's a real story. Yeah. But I don't know.

He might just be messing with us. Oh, yeah. There's other major points of the story that we're like, what was her original cause of death? Right.

What was the original, like, did she take something? Did she get hit by something? Was she dismembered? Kind of all vaguely.

Yeah, very vague. Feels very AI-y to me. This is the retaliation for the new friend. I.

and what's fake, I also have to pay attention to what's fake with Palmer sometimes. Palmer I, I. Palmer. Because he released a show, he released a news article that was totally, like, fake about cigars.

Yeah. About cigars being released at midnight at a specific time, but he didn't mention the name and the people who were involved or whatever. And it was a completely fake article. Wow.

Yeah. Is there not enough good news lately? I think that he likes to do this every once in a while to kind of screw with us and screw with the audience and see if the audience catches up. I know that he talked about last time, he mentioned something about Coast Cars being fired upon or something like that.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Hector said that he couldn't find any article about that. Hector from Espinosa? Yeah, I didn't.

" Yeah, you would hear about that. Well, no, because they get fired upon when they're doing drug interdictions. It's kind of a normal thing. That's what he's stating.

Yeah. So it could be real. Could be real. Could be fake.

Could be fake. Or could it be a fake. Would you be okay being buried alive for like a contest? For a contest?

Yeah. You know, back when I was in the military, we were buried alive. We had to go through SEER training, which is a POW school pretty much, survival school mixed with POW school. And one of the tortures was being buried underground in a box.

Back then, I slept like a baby, it was great, I heard people screaming around me, but I was like, this is great. This is quiet. Now in my older years, like I, I'm getting more claustrophobic as I get older. Right, you get, anxiety kind of inches up on you as you get older.

Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, now, like, without being, like, if I wasn't able to itch my nose or stretch or anything, I'd probably go insane. Right.

Won't let me out! " No? Wouldn't happen? No, I don't think so.

I get claustrophobic on planes now. You know how they have that one aisle that doesn't have a window and it's like the ball kick comes in? Yes. I had a 17 hour flight from Dubai to Miami.

Really? And they gave me that seat and I was like this and I freaked out. I was like, I need another seat right now. No kidding.

I used to be this total badass in the military, no fear of anything, and now I can't even sit on a plane without freaking out. I gotta go! Yeah. I think that was probably the first time I ever had like a panic attack or any type of anxiety.

That was like the first time I identified it was like, I was trying to get off a plane, and I was stuck by the window, and like no one was moving, and I started to freak out a little bit, and I'm like, what is going on here? So now, you know, I have found that the best way to offset that is through conflict, so now I get up, and I block everybody, and people get mad at me, and I'm like, we all want to get off the plane, let's all be civil, if you have a problem with it, But I am right here to answer your problem, you know what I mean? Ready to solve this problem right now, like, world star. Yeah, I'm not moving, but I'm usually very polite.

I'm like, I'm sorry, but no. However, I did have one person where he jumped in front, and I said to him like, dude, what's wrong with you, you know? And then he didn't get his package, like his baggage, and he left his girlfriend behind. Wow.

So, he made it all the way out, and I wouldn't let her go, right? And I saw him as we got off, I go, you did all of that, and you had to stand here and wait anyways. I'm like, did that make any sense, bro? Like, just chill out and be civil.

You held his girlfriend captive. I did. And his bag. And his bag.

You're getting nothing. You're like, good job. I bet you he doesn't do that anymore. I hope not.

Either that or he puts his bag in like first class on his way back to his coach seat. Which would be smart. Yeah. I mean, you know what, you hope that like you inspire some type of change.

I mean, he was a younger kid, dude, and I've done plenty of dumb shit as a kid. I mean, I probably still do dumb shit as an adult, but you try and learn from him, and hopefully this kid did learn from it. " Yeah. Yeah, that would make sense.

I mean, when you're in your 20s, you have no chance of being a good person all the time. No, not even close. And it's understandable. Yeah.

You're just ignorant. The problem is, though, when you're 70 or 60 or whatever, and you're still not a good person, you're not changing. You're changing. You're set in your ways.

You're going to continue to do that, whatever thing is, and no one's going to, you're never going to reflect and be like, oh, I should not throw my stuff everywhere in public. I should throw things out, whatever. You should be a decent member of society. Yeah, that's out the door.

You're not about to change. Yeah. And when I would fly into Iraq, when I was contracting, we would take commercial airlines, everybody was standing before the plane landed. Before you touch ground, everyone's standing, like all the Iraqis, they all get up and they're just like pushing each other to the side before the rubber ever meets the runway.

How is that okay? How is that allowed? Nope. You can't touch the religion.

You can't touch them. Like you can't even pat the women down. " If your laws say you can't touch her, that's where you put the bomb. Here's what we're gonna arm, we're gonna give it to her.

Don't touch that woman. And by the way, what are you doing letting her fly anyway? She has no rights. Yeah, right?

She has to run next to the plane. I mean, what the hell? It's ridiculous. Another funny story.

I'm full of them. I know. That's why I was excited for you to come on. I was in Dubai at the Atlantis waterpark, and I'm in the lazy river drinking a beer, and next to me is this big old fat hairy guy in a Speedo.

Nice. Like just, you know, everything's hanging out. Right. And his wife next to him, also in a tube, in full burka.

Like just the ice, nothing but the ice lid. And she's having a time of her life. Right, this is the best. It's like the juxtaposition of him with barely covering his junk and her only not covering her eyes.

You can see her eyes. Yeah. That's wild. She's like the best day of my life.

This is the greatest day ever. Well, because every other day, you know, it's miserable for her. Yeah. Allegedly, whatever, you know.

Okay. I've always said if the women in Iraq do like most of the manual labor, so they're bigger and stronger than the men. So I've always said like if the women just like rose up, they can take over the country in one day. If they got tired of the, you know what, enough of this shit.

Yeah. We're going to stone you. They do all the farming work and everything. Do they really?

Yeah, they're big. That's wild. Oh, my God. All right, hit us with the next one.

Lakeland Traffic Stop Leads to Discovery of Parihuana and Thousands in Cash. Parihuana? Parihuana. Paraphernalia.

It's like a mix between paraphernalia and marijuana. Yeah, I guess. A routine traffic stop in Lakeland quickly escalated into a major drug investigation after officers uncovered 250 grams of a substance known as Parihuana. Oh, it's a thing.

I don't know. Because wasn't the preliminary title to this, Palmer Drives Through Lakeland? Yes. Okay.

It's true. So is it a true story? I don't know. Parijuana, along with thousands of dollars in cash, according to local law enforcement, police say the stop occurred after officers observed a traffic violation and made contact with the driver.

During the interaction, officers noted behavior they described as suspicious, describes Palmer, Prompting a more thorough investigation of the vehicle. " Well, it's not marijuana. How is it illegal? Yeah, that's true.

Unless it's some kind of mixture of drugs that aren't permitted. Yeah. Well, they're saying it's a derivative. Like it has it in it.

It does have marijuana in it, but it has something else. It's like lakes with fentanyl or something. Investigators say substances like pariwana are especially concerning because they are frequently unregulated, mislabeled, and unpredictable, posing serious health risks to users. So it is unregulated.

Yeah, so it's not illegal. Yeah. It's not regulated. So this guy has done nothing wrong at this point.

Well, no, I guess cocaine's unregulated and that's illegal. Is he Venezuelan? Yeah, right. Is that why we got their president?

Exactly. It's not your real drugs. It's your fake drugs. Yeah.

We're concerned about the fake stuff that you're bringing in. Law enforcement agencies across Florida have warned that these products are often sold under misleading names to skirt drug laws while delivering far more potent offers. Offers? Wait, I scrolled too fast.

Damn. Effects. Potent effects. The driver was taken into custody and now faces multiple charges including drug trafficking related offenses.

Authorities have not released the suspect's identity pending formal court proceedings. Officials say the case underscores how routine traffic enforcement can lead to significant criminal discoveries and they are continuing to investigate whether the drugs and cash are connected to a larger distribution operation in the region. This region. As always, police are reminding the public to avoid synthetic substances and report suspicious activities to local authorities.

Mikey, do you have a video? Do you have a video of you and Preston? I do not have a video. I do not have a video.

Do you have a video today, Bootsy? I mean, I have some videos, but you can't post them. Do you want one? Palmer sent me one.

Uh, sure. Did he really send you one? No. I haven't talked to Palmer at all.

I mean, I have like a video from last night I was watching on TikTok. Yeah. And it was like this video of the Venezuelan president being captured. Yeah.

But it had like Dave Chappelle in it and stuff. I mean, it's a little, you know, edgy. Yeah, we've kind of already addressed the Venezuelan thing, like, I'm moving on. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. Yeah, it's old news. It is.

Nobody's talking about that. You know, we're already talking about Greenland now, right? Yeah, we're on to the Greenland president. Oh, are we taking that back?

Oh, wait, we can't buy it, so we're gonna... Before Trump was president, he was campaigning on buying Greenland. Right. Yeah, I remember that.

Yeah, so I guess he can't buy it, so he's just gonna take it now? I have no idea. Yeah, they're doing illegal operations, we're taking it. I don't think that we can just take it.

I don't know, that sounds like a little bit of an overreach, if you ask me. Like, people live there. You know what I mean? Like...

I mean, like 50,000 people live there. Yeah, that's it. It's a very small population. Yeah.

So, because it's a small number, it's fine? Yeah, it's a massive, massive continent. Is it continents by itself? I guess.

No, no, no, it's not a continent. You can just say it's a territory. Yeah, it's a massive territory. It's huge.

But yeah, there's like... The people eat whale blubber there, there's not much going on. The people eat whale blubber. So have you been to Greenland?

No. No? I saw a really good episode of... South Park?

No. Who was that late night host, the ginger? Oh, Conan O'Brien. Conan O'Brien.

Oh, when he would travel the world? Yeah, he went there and it was... That guy's gold, man. Yes.

He's the best. He's hilarious. I don't understand how he lost his job as a late night host. He was hilarious.

That's hilarious. I think he just got bored of it and wanted to do something else. I think it was more of the network he was on, you know? Yeah, TNT.

Yeah, it wasn't as watched as the other ones. Yeah, he got, was it him that got screwed over by Jay Leno? " I think so. Yeah, and that's when Conan left to do his own show.

Yeah. I need more cars, I'm not leaving. did you did you see the video clip with him and there's another comedian they talk about uh when his parents died no when Conan O'Brien Ryan's parents died no so oh dude I'm gonna totally bash this I'm gonna mess this up but it's it was hilarious so um well you can't retell a joke like a Harvard educated comedian no not even close so um his dad dies and one and one of his buddies reached out I was like hey man sorry for your sorry for your loss and he writes back I think Bateman's involved. And he's like, okay, you know, so...

Like Jason Bateman? Yeah, 'cause they're like a group of these three friends. And then, like, quickly thereafter, his mother passes. " Like, sorry for, like, he's out there just picking off his entire family, family and he writes back like laugh out loud that's hilarious um and then he gives the address and he says make it look like a burglary so you really gotta watch this video clip it's hilarious dude it's just funny because it's like you know it's just guys having fun you know like in dark moments like that's pretty funny man that's pretty good that's where my that's how i cope with bad news yeah like uh when i was deployed we lost one of our the the best guy on our team like he was He was the conflict resolution guy, he was the funny guy, like he kept us, he was the glue that kept us not, from not killing each other.

Right. And, uh, so he, he died on our deployment, and when we're celebrating afterwards, I was just joke after joke after joke, and they're like, all right, it's, you gotta slow down, dude, it's like, it's a little too much now, and I was just like, I can't, this is my coping, I can't stop doing it. This is what I do, you need to get on board with this, or leave me alone. Yeah, I get it, dude.

I get it. I mean, you know, like, my dad died at a younger age for me, so whenever somebody else's dad died, I'm like, welcome to the dead dad club. You know what I mean? Like, I'll start to kind of rub them, like, in on it and whatever.

So, my wife always tries to pull me back. She's like, you need to stop. I'm the same way. My dad died when I was, like, 10.

Right. Well, that's way, you beat me. That's way younger. Yeah.

I mean, it's like, you're younger, it's harder, harder to handle, but when you're older, you've spent more time with them, so you miss them more. Like, it's give and take. Yeah. But, like an hour later, I was cracking jokes, and my brother was about to murder me.

I was like, I was 10 years old. You were 10, right. And I'm still like, that was my default coping mechanism. Right.

Was your brother older? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, he was 13.

So, yeah, your dad probably just loved him more, is what it was. He, my brother thought that. Yeah. Makes sense.

Makes sense. Okay. All right. What else you got?

We got some cigar news. Yes! Oh! All right.

Can't wait to hear this. And here's our roving reporter on cigar news, John Carney with Bentley Cigars. A roving part, a roving report. He says, look at Mikey.

I got nothing, dude. Okay. All right. I, uh, well, John Carney's not here, so.

Oh. Oh. I guess John was busy. So now, me, La Ream.

That's not how you spell my name. Of course not. Of course not. Are you surprised?

Everything's misspelled. Yeah, Palmer doesn't know how to spell. Zion Cigars. Zion Cigars.

The future. Sir Passion? Sir Passion? Sir Passion.

That's a cigar brand? Who knows? There's 75,000 cigar brands. Yeah, it could be one.

S. Army. Wow. Hmm.

So that was last year. Yeah. I guess. Last year was Army's 250th birthday, I believe.

You would know better than I would. I was a Navy guy. You're still military, so it qualifies. We don't know either.

So are you like a SEAL? I mean, like, how high up are you if you're doing SEERS training and all this other stuff? So in the Navy, it's called Special Warfare, so in the Army it's Special Forces, Navy it's Special Warfare, Marine Corps Special Operations, so in the Navy there's two Special Warfare units, SEALs and SWIC. in swick i was swick so we like to say because no one's ever heard of swick he's like oh yeah because we can keep a secret ah he's a boat guy yeah boat guy so really what it was was like it was a a program that was meant to help insert and extract seals whether covertly or under hot fire um and then eventually the seals like we i think we need somebody better to do this because It was like a regular, like, you can just get orders there, but you didn't have to go through, like, serious training, and then, so they're like, oh, we'll make it closed loop, but the SEALs are like, you guys will never be like us, you'll never be a real special operations platform.

You're like search and recover. We brought you under our umbrella, you know, because we need something, but you're just the tool for us. So we, I hate SEALs with a passion. That's so much.

Like, we never got, we, I literally got in a fight with a SEAL on a mission, like a fistfight rolling around on the floor. No kidding. 50 cal gun mount. Right.

And we had a contact coming at us. And I was like, yes, I finally get to use this fucking glorious gun. Right. And this seal pushes me out of the way and jumps on it.

I was like, you don't even know how to fucking use this thing. 50 caliber machine guns. No kidding. So like the feed trays reverse, like you have a butterfly tray, like it's all, it's made just for us pretty much.

So I'm like, I elbow him in the chest, I'm like, get the fuck off my gun, and then he like punches me and then I grab him, there's like five SEALs sleeping on the back deck, we're rolling all over them. Did he say he was sorry afterwards? No. Mike, you've seen these guys before, you ever seen like the movies where like this guy comes in with a helmet and glasses on, and he has this big turret, and they come in, and they do this cover fire, and then the SEALs, you know, come out, it was in, uh, uh, there was a SEAL.

Act of Valor. Yeah. Okay. So the movie Act of Valor used real SEALs and real SWCC for the movie.

Yeah. No kidding. Yeah. Those were real active duty SEALs.

Right. Yeah. And SWCC. But did they have a scene where the SWCC guy was fighting the SEAL guy?

Because then it would have been really authentic. Then it would have been authentic. Yeah. Screw you!

Even in Chris Kyle's book, he talks shit about SWCC. He's like, "Those guys suck. They have no idea what they're doing. " No kidding.

Yeah. We did not get along. That is so funny. And anytime we got some like cool tech, the SEALs would come in and be like, ah, it's too cool for you guys, we're gonna take that.

Wow, that's so funny. So everyone else, whenever someone's like, oh SEALs are so cool, I'm like, eh. They're alright. Don't meet your heroes.

Yeah, don't meet your heroes. I kicked one's ass, we tried to take my gun. That's the other thing, like, they have their own bar, there's a SEAL bar in Coronado, California, which is like, that's their go-to place. Right.

so many seals get laid out in that bar like they don't they don't get great hand-to-hand training it's not like the 80s when everyone got a black belt like they're like the new mentality is like if you have to use your hands you're probably gonna die anyway so why waste the money training you right yeah yeah that's that's fair i guess so they get the shit kicked out of them at their own bar that's too funny dude hey you have every right to say all that stuff you you put in your time so whatever that's awesome dude all right so i'm a swick i'm a swick fan that's right just for the record that being said though i need to clarify this our best swick guys tried out for seal training and none of them passed oh okay yeah like our training's pretty tough it's very tough right attrition rates like 90 okay but our best swick guys never passed seal training no kidding i think it was on purpose they're like we're not letting you motherfuckers in our club like They're like, fuck you guys. Right. There are things they can do to make sure you don't pass, if they don't like you. Right.

If you're ever an admiral's son going through SEAL training, and the admiral's like, hey, my son's going through, they're like, definitely not making it now. They do that, they really do that. If they ever get a recommendation, like the smart guys are like, I don't want them to know who my dad is. Don't say anything.

Don't say anything. The second the dad's like, you know, watch out for my son over there, you know, wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Yeah, we will. He didn't make it.

Yeah. He rang the bell. Yeah. I have a funny story about what he just said.

Yeah. I actually know a guy that ended up passing away. He was a SEAL. That's hilarious.

Oh, Lord. But his parents didn't even know what he did in the military. No kidding. Yeah, they had no clue until they came to the funeral.

Wow. Wow. Yeah. And then they saw all these people dressed up, and they saw all the pins and everything, They asked, they saw his, you know, he was a dog handler for the SEALs.

He was a what? A dog handler. Oh, okay. Canine.

Yeah, canine. Did they have those? I didn't know they did. Yeah.

Okay, so it might not have been a SEAL. There was a guy with Bin Laden. You saw this? You saw this firsthand?

You saw the SEALs at the funeral? Yeah, well, I did the funeral. Okay. Yeah.

What do you mean you did the funeral? Like, I was a master at arms. Okay. Okay.

And that was one of the guys that was doing the funeral. So when they got there, they were just like crying. And I was like, you know, you kind of, you try not to pay attention because you don't want to get emotional, you know, in the ceremony. But afterwards, you know, I just asked them, I was like, man, you know, I knew your son.

I said, I'm really, you know, sorry for your loss. And talking to him about it, and they're like, it's not even that he's gone. It's just, we didn't even know that he was a SEAL in the Navy. No kidding.

How did you know? Did you arrest them? No, I worked with those guys. He was military police.

Yeah, where I was. He said Master of Arms. Yeah. That's what they're called.

Oh, is that what that means? Thank you. I don't speak the terms. I speak serial lingo for anything.

Just for the record. It's hard to speak military lingo. It's like 99% acronyms. I have no idea what's going on, ever.

I like to just always introduce that. I'm like, yeah. Yeah, no. Well, in our area- Military police sounds so much better.

Okay, go ahead, Master at Arms. No, in our area, everybody just worked together. Yeah. You know, I did the dog side, so everybody in, you know, I was in Hampton Roads.

So, Virginia, I was in Virginia Beach. So, with everybody there, everybody just trained together. And there was only 60 of us, so we trained with other SEALs and we just knew the guys. I think the Virginia SEALs can keep a secret better than the California SEALs.

Yeah, I never did West Coast. You've said that before. Yeah. You've said that before.

You said that the East Coast ones are better than the West Coast ones. They did. You know, it's funny. They were going to make a SEAL training site on the East Coast, because East Coast guys were different than West Coast guys.

No kidding. Yeah. So now, like, you've brought this up to me a couple times. Now it's slowly getting...

I said the Hawaii SEALs are the toughest ones. Yeah, probably. Because they do the seal delivery vehicles, which they go under, like, they're submarines, but they get flooded with water, so you use, like, scuba gear, and that water is freezing fucking cold, so those are the toughest, like, outside of, like, dev group, like, seal team six, those are the toughest seals by far, so now, if I ever run across anybody, probably never will, but if I run into a seal, I'm like, east coast or west coast, because now, you know, they're like, wait a second, and if they say Hawaii, I'm like, oh, shit, okay, never mind. " Yeah, like, so you're not good at hand-to-hand combat, is what I'm saying.

Okay, got it. You ever been to a bar in Colorado? Tell me, Timmy. Okay, well, hit us with the next one.

We're rolling now, buddy, we're ready for 40 minutes. As America prepares to commemorate the 250th anniversary of its founding-- Oh, we're still talking about this fucking thing. --of its founding, private businesses across the country are joining in the celebration with special releases tied to the milestone. S.

C. Newman, Surpassion has unveiled King of Battle, a cigar created to honor 250 years. It's, he always repeats his stuff. Yeah, he does.

It's so much repetition. It's very redundant, very redundant. King of Battle is a 6x50 Toro featuring a broadleaf wrapper over Mexican San Andreas binder with American and Dominican fillers. That sounds really good.

Yeah, well, it depends upon where it's being made and where the tobacco is acquired from. That's true. C. Newman's ago, right?

No. That's not what it's saying. C. Newman honors the military as well.

Oh, okay. Yeah. However, this guy's, you know, actual military, so. And so is he.

Not really. He's master at arms. Wow. It qualifies more than me.

You know what I mean? Yeah. You know, that's not saying much. We also had a lot of issues with the master-at-arms because whenever you came back to base drunk, they were the ones that caught you.

You get past all the police, no problem. We're not the friends. The master-at-arms are like, oh yeah, I get to take another one out. Wow, that's exactly, that strikes me as boots.

Well, I did the dogs. I didn't do gate duty or anything like that, so I did not participate in taking people for drunkness. What do you do with the dogs? You like check for drugs and stuff?

Well, yeah, I had a drug dog. Yes. Yeah. Um, but, uh, you have explosive or drug.

Um, we just trained all the time. Do you ever pop anybody for drugs or explosives? One time, uh, there was a command. It's the LCAT.

So they're like the big hovercrafts. Oh, those things are awesome. Yeah. You actually have to be a pilot to drive them.

Really? Yeah. Like a real pilot. Uh, the commander wanted us to do like a health and comfort check.

Yeah. And somebody had cocaine. They had brought, they had just come back. So I think they brought cocaine back and our dog just sat on the, on the locker and then they took care of the rest, but I didn't actually arrest that person.

Oh, so. Okay. He's like, yes, it's finally happening. And then they're like, Johnson, you're arresting him.

Well, well, to be honest, like the most of the time, most of the people that we arrested were, um, dependents. Yeah. So like on base you have the NEX's. That was like 80% of all the arrests on base.

It was like people stealing from the NEX. Yeah, it was all shoplifting. Shoplifting. And the crazy thing, it's always like a captain or an admiral's dependent.

Like, it was never like an enlisted. Yeah, someone like, do you know who my husband is? You know who my dad is? Oh yeah.

I think if he made a cigar, it should be called Master at Arms. That's way better than industry standard or something. It sounds way more badass than it is too. Yeah, like, you gotta remember that, yeah, it does.

What did you do in the military? Master at arms? So you're a master of all arms, like all weapons? Yes, so many arms.

Like, no, cop. You know what I mean? Like, people buy stuff just because it has a cool name. You know what I mean?

Warbear Cigars. Warbear. Right? Are you gonna follow us up with a Connecticut called Cocaine Bear?

Cocaine Bear. And it's gonna be, like, different, like a weird size or whatever. It's gonna kind of be all over the place. Wonky, Culebra.

Yeah, exactly. That's exactly it. It's going to be three different wrappers. It's like three different 64 ring gauge cigars, Culebra.

Tied it together. Okay. All right. So, Surpassion.

Surpassion. All the tobaccos have been aged for at least five years, and the cigar is produced at Tabacalera La Isla in the Dominican Republic. The cigar carries an MSRP of 1350, 10 count boxes, begins shipping last week. All right.

I'm starting to like skip. There's more. That's good. Well, congratulations, dude.

We wish you the best. We hope your cigar does very well. We're going past that. Pro Cigar introduces exclusive retailer program.

Oh, Pro Cigar's coming up. So, it's like a... Yeah. It's like a TAA competitor, kind of.

Is it really? I mean, that's what it sounds like. Yeah, Pro Cigar. Yeah, well, Pro Cigar is a thing, but exclusive retailer program sounds like a TAA version of that.

Right. Dream Machine. The club. Are you in the club?

The good old boys. The Association of Dominican Cigar Manufacturers, Pro Cigar, that's not how the acronym works, is proud to announce the launch of its retailer-exclusive program, REP. There's a lot of REPs. A new initiative reserved specifically for retailers attending the upcoming Pro Cigar Festival, 2026, scheduled to take place February 17th through the 20th in Santiago de los Caballeros, Caballeros.

Caballeros. Caballeros. Caballeros. I think that means, like...

Gentlemen. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Cowboys.

Sounds like cowboys. Yeah, I think it... Is it not cowboys? No, yeah, it's like, yeah.

The three caballeros. I guess it depends on what region, but it usually means gentlemen, at least from what I understand. Did you guys ever watch that movie? But El Caballo is horse.

Caballo is horse. Yeah. Correct. And I have mixed up the two.

Yeah. I'm like, oh, caballeros. Like, no, it's a horse, you idiot. And I'm like, you're right.

A unique experience for pro cigar retailers, the pro cigar retailer exclusive program. Would you please stop just repeating every fucking thing like 10 times? The department of the redundancy department. Yes.

That is Palmer. That is Palmer. Yes. It's his new nickname.

It's a long nickname though. Yes, of course. It's redundant. It's redundant.

It doesn't even make any sense. The program offers a one of a kind opportunity for cigar retailers. Second time you said that. Yep.

To access limited edition cigars crafted exclusively for the festival by Pro Cigar Member Factories, sounds like TA, this initiative allows participants to purchase these exclusive cigars unavailable through any other channel while promoting direct relationships with the most prestigious manufacturers in the Dominican Republic. Participation in this program is reserved for officially registered retailers attending the festival, each participating retailer will have the priority access to an exclusive space designed to facilitate meetings and Purchasing opportunities with Pro Cigar members in a professional and private environment. More redundancy. Right.

Exclusive and private. It's exclusively private. Exclusive benefits. Access to limited edition cigars.

I didn't see that coming. Created exclusive for the Pro Cigar Festival. Exclusive purchasing rights. Unavailable.

There's a lot of exclusiveness. Unavailable through any other distribution channel. Direct engagement with Pro Cigar member companies strengthening long-term business relationships. Kaceships.

org. There's a phone number and email, but forget that. Right. Okay, do you think that this would work?

What's been done? I mean, yeah, it's another excuse to throw some LEs out there. Okay, but like, realistically, there are LEs specifically for particular companies that will do well, and then your other LEs for other companies is kind of, you know what I mean? They're like there.

Is this only for Dominican cigars? That's what it sounds like. A. is only Nicaragua.

No, they're everybody. A. A. happens in the one world.

I mean, that's such a vague term, I mean, the top retailers, I think it's like the top buddies, you know. Yeah, when does the good old boys club? A. " Exactly.

" When's TAA? I don't know. It just happened. It just happened.

Yeah. In November, I think it happened, right? I think so. So they're going to have another thing where these guys were at already, some of them, and now they're going to do a specific one just for them?

Well, you know, here's the only way that I see that it actually competes in the space, is if you get Fuente involved. If they offer some particular opus that you can only get by being a part of this thing. Yeah, that would make sense. You know, I mean, your other one in that space, I think that that might have an attract sequence, maybe LFD as far as a Dominican, but I can't think of another brand, a Dominican Republic that has an LE that is extremely sought after.

Yeah. Davidoff? Uh, do they have, I mean, I guess Davidoff, you know, I'm not a Davidoff retailer, so I wouldn't know. Yeah, I do sell Opus though, so maybe one day, um, you know, like, sorry that we're so exclusive.

Yeah, they're very exclusive, privately exclusive. Is Mirafel? No, we don't really know where Mirafel's made. Yeah, but he grows tobacco in Africa.

He does, I heard that. He's like the number one tobacco producer in Africa. Yes. Supposedly.

Supposedly. Yeah. And he no longer sells to Fuente. He no longer sells to Fuente.

And who knows what that story is about. No one will tell us. I know. I can't wait till it comes out.

We gotta get somebody a little shit face to leak that information. Yeah. We gotta get out of PCA. i need to know what happened keep feeding them shots so they eventually need to do it james o'keefe style just like go through twinder tinder swiping on people till we find someone that works for one of the companies and then go on a date with them undercover send in a hot chick with a camera it's so weird i don't understand what happened like well here's what happened let me tell you because i know i'm an insider let me prove to you how amazing i am right got him it's honestly the It's the greatest thing ever.

Have you ever seen that guy, James O'Keefe? No. So, he's gotten CIA agents, people that work in the Department of Defense, been in the White House. He gets them to go on dates with, it's either gay dudes go on dates with dudes or straight dudes go on dates with chicks.

That's how that works. I don't know if you know that. I understand that concept. That makes sense.

It's like a 50-50 mix. Right. And they just want to hook up with this person that's out of their league so badly that they divulge all this information to try to look cool. Right.

Yeah. That's his journalistic style. And then my favorite part is he goes himself. He went on dates with the guy that runs security for the White House.

It was like he was a cybersecurity, the head of cybersecurity for the White House. And he went on a date with him. He's like, have you ever heard of a man named James O'Keefe? He's like, yeah.

Why? He goes, because I am him. And he takes his glasses off. He goes, no, no, no, no, no.

It's so great. Don't do it. Don't do it. All of that was a lie.

So he's like the 60 Minutes guy. I'm just trying to get in your pants. I don't know anything. Please.

This is really good, by the way. What is it? So you gave me this Camacho Unleashed? Yes.

The OG Unleashed. When did, when was this made? How's that? That's a good question.

Uh, it's kind of bright. Is that 20s? Twirl it a little? Yeah, it's a silver and white band.

It's hard to see on camera. Yeah, it's a little hard. It's really good. It's, yeah, that was, and I think the three was the best one of the three.

The Unleashed 3? Yeah. So, and that was, what, two years ago? That one's gotta be at least six years old.

See, now I'm so, I'm so, I got direct link to Camacho. There you go. I'm on the up and up. I mean, man.

Yes, sir. However, if I need a place in order, I need to contact Wasp. Yes. Yeah.

I do need a re-up. Okay. All right. So, Pro Cigar Rep, Rep Edition.

Yeah. I don't think it helps. You know, look, they better get Fuente on board. Maybe they have, but if they did, I would have led with that in the article.

" Yeah. You know? I mean, yeah, if you're pro cigar, you wouldn't announce this if you didn't have anyone decent on board. Maybe.

I mean, yeah, I guess you're right. " Yeah, right? Like, I don't know. I hope that that's the case.

So, we'll see. There has to be at least one banger that's going to move the needle. You think it's Davidoff? I don't know.

We're very, very reserved with who we make custom cigars for. Right. Or limited, like, limited editions, one of our bread and butters, and we control that heavily. Right.

So, I don't know. Okay. Speaking of Davidoff, Davidoff debuts in Manila with three luxury boutiques. Oh my goodness.

Luxury cigar brand Davidoff of Geneva since 1911, that is our official name, has officially entered the Philippine market, announcing the opening of three new retail boutiques in Manila, marking a major milestone in the brand's continued expansion across Asia. Ooh. I mean, you guys, you guys need an ambassador? I will, I will happily go.

You going to Asia? You just got married. You can't go to Asia. That'd be bringing sand to the beach.

Yeah, it's silly. I don't know. Love you, baby. I love you.

Happy one year. Happy one year. The new boutiques are located in some of Manila's most prestigious destinations: Macati, Bonifacio, Global City, and City of Dreams Manila. They're great with naming, like if you meet the girls over there, their names are like Princess, and Cookie, and Beauty, and like, you think that's the real names?

Those are the real names. No kidding. Yeah, I'm talking like your regular everyday, like the receptionist at the hotel. So it's not like that, her name will be Beauty.

Yeah, it's not like the, the nicknames of the strip clubs here. They're all cars. They're all, this is Cadillac? Yeah.

Next on stage, Jeep. Yeah, yeah. Mini Cooper! It's amazing.

Each location showcases Davidoff's latest global retail design concept, blending contemporary luxury with subtle Caribbean influences to create an elevated cigar shopping and lounge experience. I'm giving this one more oomph since it's our company. Yeah, I get it. Dress it up.

The boutique's feature curated selections of premium Davidoff cigars, accessories, and dedicated lounge spaces designed for both seasoned, We're both seasoned connoisseurs and newcomers to the brand. According to Laurent de Rujamont, the Manila debut reflects Davidoff's long-term commitment to the growth in Asia and to delivering refined, immersive retail environments that reflect the brand's core values. , led by Jose Maria Esteban, who emphasized the global goal of creating distinctive world-class cigar destinations in the Philippines. The three locations include a boutique inside Shangri-La, the Fort, a spacious walk-in, I've been to the Shangri-La, that is like their most luxurious hotel.

Really? Yeah, I actually, I would go there to work out, and the guy, the trainer was like super nice, it was like 20 bucks, We're a one hour session with a boxer. He was teaching me boxing. No kidding.

It was 20 bucks for an hour. Turns out this guy was like 110 and two. No kidding. Yeah.

And that was like his only career option after boxing. He was just like, yeah, I train people for 20 bucks an hour now. And he was like on Manny Pacquiao's training team. No kidding.

Yeah. Dude, that's a steal. 20 bucks? 20 bucks an hour is like a lot of money there.

But that's what the hotel was charging. He probably makes five bucks an hour. Right. Which is still pretty good income there.

Right. Yeah. Is Zion involved in this, too, or just Xeno? I'm sure Zion's involved somewhere.

Yeah, okay. He's everywhere. He's everywhere. Inside the Shangri-La, the Fort, a spacious walk-in humidor and lounge at Makati Shangri-La and a retail presence on the gaming floor of City of Dreams featuring cigars, accessories, and curated spirits.

Together, these openings solidify Davidoff's presence in Southeast Asia and signal a strong new chapter For Premium Cigar Culture, in Manila. Drilla in Manila. Yeah. I mean, that's exciting.

Yeah. I mean, if you wanted the job in Asia, there's no question that you're a company, man. You stuck yourself in a van for like 75 years. Yeah.

You know what I mean? So, like, did you push for the Camacho thing, or was it just available and you put your hat in? I did push for it. You did?

Because I just, like, I've been smoking Camacho forever. Right. And I, the first time we got cigars donated in 2011 was the first time I saw like an actual donation package. And it was Camacho.

It's like 95% Gurkha. Oh, okay. And then there was like 5% Camacho and that was pretty much it. Right.

Everyone fought over the Camachos. Literally we like punch each other in the face like those are mine. Right. I mean, that makes sense.

Yeah. Just because like every day we'd smoke three Gurkhas. So, you know, you knew the whole, right, the whole line, the black, everything they had. Right.

Smoking Gurkhas while we're smoking Gurkhas. " Yeah. " And that was brilliant. It's brilliant marketing.

Yeah. S. and actually make real money. Right.

And they're just hanging out and smoking cigars. Like, they should be smoking our stuff. Yeah. I didn't even, like, I was, like, powering through them sometimes.

It's like, "I'm smoking this because I have nothing else to do. It was on 12-hour midnight watches, you know? Yeah. Keeps you stimulated, you know what I mean?

Instead of just, whoa. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

And I did security on a spook base. Really? It was not on the official map of the base. It was like a secret, and it was all CIA, FBI, SEAL Team 6, Delta Force.

They would go out every night, Black Hawk helicopters, striker army vehicles, and they would just come back with like 20 dudes in hoods every night. No kidding. Yeah. That's pretty cool.

I was there during the Arab Spring, so it was a very busy time. It was very busy? Yeah, it was a very busy time. Very occupied.

So you'd steal all the Camachos out of the bag? Yeah, I would, well, I mean, if I was there, like, whoever the packages would come in during the daytime, which is when I slept, because I did 12-hour watches every night, which was better, because it's like 130 during the day in the summer. Right. You wanted the night watch.

You wanted a solid 110 degrees. 110, nice breezy, cool 110, yeah. A cool 110. Got it.

But yeah, when, if we had a Camacho, it was like special. So when I got back to America, I was like, I've smoked every Gurkha there is. I was like, I want to see what Camacho is about. And that was like my brand for a while.

Right. And then I, then I got into like ultra premiums after that. Right. And you look better in the swag, dude.

Way better. Yeah. Yeah. Way more fit.

I feel at home here. Yeah. Like I love Zeno. Yeah.

But there's a, there's a few things about the brand that I really wanted to move for. One, it's very prestigious. You know, started in the 60s. Like, it's been around forever.

Right. Two, I get to fly everywhere. Right. No more driving.

Right. And three, I get to smoke more than one blend for the whole year. Right. You get this Xeno.

Yellow. Okay. Cool. All right.

And now it's time for everyone's favorite game. Yes. What's the score? What's the score?

I tried to do the camera. He did it pretty quickly. Yeah, he did. Okay.

You guys need a jingle. You need a jingle to introduce it. You're probably right. Just throw it into AI real quick, it takes five seconds.

Yeah, we put back the, we brought back our old soundboard 'cause our new, the other one that we had was giving us issues. Yeah. For whatever reason, like if it's, if he's not here and I'm doing the flipping, whenever we move it, if I touch the board, something happens with the audio and it cuts off. Oh, those gremlins.

Yeah. Electronic gremlins, yeah. Pretty much. So, we went back to the old board and we actually have this, it's got sound clips that we can...

From ears. Yeah, we can totally do that. From years. From years.

But we can add our own music stuff. As long as YouTube doesn't flag us for copyright or whatever. Well, if you use AI, it's all made up on the spot. You would hope that it doesn't have any issues.

We're using it now, we have a new guy working for us, and he just, every time we insult somebody, he throws it into the AI and makes a song about the insult. Does he really? That's awesome. At first it was amazing, because they're like real two to three minute songs.

We listen to the whole thing, now we're like, oh, here's another one, I'll listen to it later. It's gotten older anyway. At first, it was hilarious. " And then, like, within a week, I'm like, "Okay, guys, I get it.

" Mm-hmm. You know? Oop, burning your mic. All right, so what's the score?

Let's go. What's the score? Uh-oh. Hold on.

Uh-oh. Scoreless. What happened here? Get back there.

Okay. What's the score? July 31st, 2021, Patrick LaGrade. LaGrade?

Yep. How do you say that name? I want to get it right, because he scores us. LaGroid.

LaGroid? LaGride? LaGride? LaGreed?

LaGreed. Patrick LaGreed? Patrick LaGreed Cigars. Cigars?

No, that's the reviewer. Mm-hmm. It's Patrick LaGreed Cigars, Davidoff, Honduras reviews. Oh.

You obviously picked Davidoff because you're on the show. Yes. He reviews the Zeno Nicaragua Robusto. Oh, there it is.

Okay. And what year was it? 21. Okay.

All right. Five year anniversary coming up. You want to go first? Yeah.

Is this the same as the little ones in the tin? No. This is the Robusto. But the blend is… Yeah, the blend's the same.

As the one in the 10s. Yeah. Do you know Nicaragua? Yeah.

I didn't know that. I mean, the tin size, it's like half the size of the Robusto, so the blend is slightly different. Okay. And a lot of people love the tin size better than the rest of the line.

Yeah, I do like the 10s. 86. It's a very low conservative number. Well, I'm not sure completely yet, so I'm trying to, I'm gonna go off of you on this one, probably.

I'm gonna go 89. 'Cause I've never had the Robusto, and I know it changes, the taste changes in size. Okay. I'm gonna start with a very reserved 99.

I feel like this is gonna change throughout the review, but I'm gonna start with a 99. Country of origin, Honduras. A. Rapper, Ecuador, Connecticut.

Binder, Nicaragua, Semilla 56, Secco. Filler, Dominican Republic, San Vicente, San Vicente Mejorado, Seccos. Those are two different San Vicentes. That was lovely.

Honduras, Olancho & Jamastron, Visus. And Nicaraguan, Omotepe, Visus. Visus? Visus.

Is it V-I-S-U-S-O? V-I-S-U-S. It's the Spanish way of saying it. Oh, ooh.

Visus. Visus. We got a lot of shit for this Because it's called the Xeno Nicaragua Right There's like five fillers and one's Nicaraguan And the binder's Nicaraguan Oh hey, that counts Yeah, it does count I'm going to make it American in Nicaragua It's the American Let's go 86 though You're going to change it just by the Oh, by the blend, yeah Yeah, it's possible Usually if a wrapper and a binder I think isn't going to pair well, or I think it's going to pair great, I'll adjust, but like this is really kind of vague, so I'm going to stick 88. You're still in here, 99?

I'll bring it down to 98. 98? Okay. 98.

Perfect. Length, five inches, or at least that's what he tells his wife. Ring gauge, 54. 50.

That's low. Wow. That is low. It's no longer that price.

It's 2021? No, five years ago. 50. Or a pouch of four for $26.

Release date, May 2021. Number of cigars released for regular production. Number of cigars smoked for review, three. Okay.

I'm pretty surprised by the price. Yeah. I think the last time I smoked at Zeno, I was in Colorado. I think I told you about it.

Oh, yeah? Were you at a Navy bar? No, no, no. There was a bar.

I was going to a baseball game, the Rockies game. 50. No. No.

Oh, you probably got a Xeno Platinum. Yeah, it's totally different. Yeah, it was like a silver tube. Black and silver band, yeah.

It was like in a tube or something. Yeah, those range from like $20 to $70. Yeah, yeah, I think it was like 30-some bucks. Yeah, if you got the tube, like depending on how big it was, does the Tubby Especiale, or the Rocket, or...

It was like more like a Toro size, I think. It was more of that size. You gotta make the Camacho Swick. Yeah, right?

Jack? Jack? I mean, Camacho does a lot of military stuff. Do they?

Yeah, we have the Liberty Series Forever. We've done military-specific limited editions. Like the Shellback, which is a Navy ceremony when you cross the equator on a ship, and they beat the shit out of you. Really?

Not like, well, it's just like PT. Right. Yeah, they spray you with a fire hose while you do like flutter kicks and shit like that. Nice.

You have to like drink a beer, do jumping jacks and burpees until you throw up. Nice. It's modern day hazing. Right.

Back in the 70s, they actually beat the fuck out of you. But it was like, it was a passage of rites, so we made a cigar just for that. I mean, we could go to SWCC and we'd be like, we saved the SEALs. Yes.

First in, last out. First in, last out. You know, every now and then, SEALs do get in trouble, and there's only one team that can save them. Does that make them better than SEALs?

I don't know, but if SEALs are calling for help, I feel like that makes them better. That is a cry for help. That's fair. Don't take their turrets.

Who's seal's gonna call? I'm gonna go up because of the price. Yeah? So, I'll go to 87.

I was gonna come down to 87 because of the price. Really? Yeah, you know, it's really kinda funny, sometimes the price, you know, when it's something that's so low in value, people interpret it as a bad cigar. As cheap, yeah.

Yeah. " Right. It's a bell curve. Weird.

Um, since you took 87, I'm gonna go 86. Okay. I'm going to drop it down to $80. It's a very affordable price.

$80, yeah. I know the score, I know the score, so I'm like, it's not fair. Clue one: Flavor development improves as the cigar progresses, evolving from a familiar toasty start into a more complex second third with earthy depth, subtle sweetness, and layered notes that show good balance and thoughtful blending at its best moments. That sounds pretty good.

I'll still go 87. Shit. I'm gonna go 88. He really wants me to come off 87.

Not really. Now that I think about it, I know the score we put in our branding. I don't know if that's Half Wheel's score. Yeah, it probably is.

So I'm gonna take this seriously now. I'm gonna say 88. You're gonna know before us. You're gonna see it.

Yeah, you'll see the number. So I'll go 88. Okay. Now that I'm playing for real.

Okay. The cigar's visual presentation is underwhelming as the plain base model band lacks refinement and design flair diminishing shelf appeal despite the quality of the wrapper underneath. I agree with that 100%. 50?

The expensive part, the wrapper leaf, is beautiful. They're flawless. The band is just garbage. The band is boring.

Before I worked for Davidoff, I never smoked that cigar. I'd pass it in a humidor all the time. Because of its band. Because of the price in the band.

I was like, that has to be a shitty cigar. Right. It looks cheap. But the wrapper leaf, gorgeous.

Like, it's a very, very expensive wrapper leaf on that cigar. I don't know why. Right. Or that price point.

Oh, if you have it, you have it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, realistically, the cost of that wrapper probably is minuscule comparison, right?

Like, especially for a company like Davidoff. Right. You know, they have tobacco. The world's largest inventory of aged tobacco.

There you go. So, where are you at, Boots? I'll drop to 86. Yes!

87. We're going to stick with 88. Okay. 86, 87, 88.

Clue three. Consistency becomes an issue in the final third where some samples turn harsh with a noticeable bite in the throat, signaling an abrupt finish and limiting enjoyment before the cigar naturally feels right. It's already to be put out. Is that it?

That's a negative. That's a negative. Harsh at the end. Patrick, I feel like this is gonna be an 86.

86. Patrick's not usually like a mean guy when it comes to the rating. Everyone at Half Wheel's mean when it comes to ratings. The lowest average in the industry.

No way, no way. Aaron Loomis and, uh, McTavish, uh, God, why can't I think of the name of the- How about the cigar? Developing Palettes. Developing Palettes, yeah.

They have the worst average. I don't think that, I don't think Aaron likes cigars. If you listen, if you, if we could compile every review that he does, I really think he doesn't. He just hates smoking.

He just doesn't like cigars. Like, oh, I gotta smoke another one? Yeah. Starting at 50.

Right. Yo, wasn't he like, uh, uh, uh, uh, didn't he do like weightlifting or something? Aaron Loomis? Maybe I'm thinking the wrong guy.

No, you're thinking about, how about that cigar you're thinking about, Justin? Oh, okay, yeah. It's awesome that I, like, it's awesome to know all these guys, but you know what's funny is like the space has gotten a lot bigger. Yeah.

And I don't know all the guys anymore. Yeah. So, but like, I want to know all the guys. I'm, I'm discovering like new podcasts every day.

Yeah. And they have like hundreds of episodes. Right. Like, how have I not heard of these people?

It's incredible, dude. Yeah. It's incredible. And they need to keep going.

I don't care if they have two viewers. Like, you need to keep going. I agree. It's good for the industry.

Yes. Please continue. Joe Rogan started in 2011. He had no viewers his first three years.

Right. I think the first ad space that he had was the fleshlight. Was it really? Yeah.

That's amazing. That's hilarious. And he probably took it as a joke, too. They didn't even pay him.

No, he's like, well, I mean, I think he wanted the money at that point. Yeah, absolutely. But yeah, no kidding. We don't fact check on this show, by the way.

Yeah, we don't. Excellent. Yes. Nobody fact checked us.

Well, they will definitely fact check us. They will fact check us. If you are a listener of this podcast, do not fact check anything here. They love fact check.

And that was totally wrong. Like, okay. Like, yep. And yeah, thanks.

Somebody fact checked if seals have dog handlers. Yeah, yeah. There you go. Yeah, let us know.

So what did you do? I did 86. And then we have a final thought. So I'm going to stick 87.

Yeah. I'm going to go to 85. He sounds like... Oh, you went lower.

That was a pretty harsh finalist or final third. Yeah. Sometimes Palmer picks out things to throw us off. It's true.

Oh, he doesn't just copy and paste the whole review? This isn't the whole review. These are like lines. It takes two positives and a negative.

Yeah. Oh, man. And then the final thought. The final thought is usually what really gives away where we're at, sometimes.

But sometimes the final thought can be like, this cigar was amazing, you know, the flavor profile was exquisite, the wrapper was beautiful, and I would buy five of these cigars and smoke them daily or whatever, right? Yeah. 78. " Well, you know, there were some construction issues, so, alright, go ahead.

I was listening to one of your episodes, Jack Taranio, and you were doing a review of your cigar, and I think the end score was like 82. Oh, yeah, the SBC. " Oh, because we don't care. I know, that's the best part.

You know what, dude, I'm grateful that they covered it, you know? Right. That's true. Yeah.

I mean, if somebody's already smoked it and they see that score, they're not going to stop smoking if they like it, but people that have never smoked it just learned about it, whether it's a bad or good score, the chances of them actually buying the product have gone up now. Correct. There's something about, I mean, there's a whole breakdown. E.

and like, don't do drugs, right? But they would do these ads during these cartoons and stuff, and they're like, hey, the really cool kids that are doing drugs, don't be like them. It's like, wait a second, they're really cool. Wait.

No, and adolescent drug usage went up. E. was founded, it just exponentially grows. E.

campaigns. It's like, kind of missed the mark on that one, dude. You're like, oh, I've never heard of any of these things before. What are these drugs?

What? Wait, and you're telling me that cool Timmy has them? Okay, I'll go. There's a kid in my school selling marijuana?

Yeah, like, I gotta go check him out. Fifth grade? This is wild. Sounds like an entrepreneur.

Yeah, sounds like quite the hustler. Okay, so you said 86, and I'm gonna stick 87, you said 85, all right, final thought, let's go. Final thought. Having seen and smoked a good chunk of Zeno's history and offerings, I was intrigued by what this new Zeno was going to offer, though having thought of the brand as premium offering in the past, this more wallet-friendly offering left a question mark as to what might be in store.

The Zeno Nicaragua Robusto more than met my expectations, exceeding them for probably 75% of the cigar while only falling short at the very end. And while we don't factor in price into our scores or evaluations, knowing that this was performing well above the connotations of a cigar at this price point is even more impressive. This is certainly a cigar worth trying and one you might have adding to your humidor for an easy choice when you want a cigar or for when you want something flavorful and enjoyable for a guest. While the packaging and presentation may leave a bit to be desired, the cigar definitely delivers.

There you go. What are you at, 87? I mean, I'm about to change, so... Oh, I'm gonna go to 88.

Damn. 'Cause I was like, alright, if he's at 86, I'm in good shape, because it might track above that. Well, now you know the score. Yeah, I can see it.

so um i'm gonna stick 87 i'm gonna stick 87 i think you're both winners because you both got the smoke as you know it's 88 it's 88 88 oh you got one on the head googled it i didn't cheat this time boots for the win boots for the w he's been doing great this year speaking of w another Another POW Camp story. Yes, go ahead. So, there's several SEER schools in the nation, and ours was in the mountains of California, in the Coronado Mountains, or San Clemente Mountains, and one of the tortures they did was we had to sit in these dog kennels hunched over, like we were packed in these dog kennels in our underwear. They would blast this poem at us for 24 hours straight, this guy screaming this poem, like a German guy screaming a poem, and the poem was called "Bootz".

No kidding, this is like, "Bootz! Boots! Boots! " It was 24 hours straight, it was like four or five minutes long, just on repeat, blasting to where you can't even hear your own thoughts.

Did you tell them everything they wanted to hear afterwards, or no? I actually did break, they broke me. when i first started like i was in the mentality uh like my first hour of torture uh the field when they capture you in the field they're like tell us how you got here tell us how many people are here and i was like these are americans dude what are they gonna do to me and they're holding a gun to my face right and i was just like like you're not you're american you're not gonna shoot me so then they waterboarded me oh god and after that i was like oh my god we're gonna die here by far the worst thing that i've ever gone through in my life right i think i had It was like 10 minutes of waterboarding, but it felt like three hours. Wow.

Yeah. So it's simulated drowning that you can't die from. Right. So you're just gasping for air for 10 minutes, but you can still breathe, but you can't feel yourself breathing.

Right. So you can, they literally, they waterboarded a guy for like five years. Really? Yeah.

And then eventually he just admitted to everything. He's like, "I'm actually the greatest terrorist of all time. " Please just kill me. Because I want to die.

He took credit for like every major terrorist operation ever. I did that. I did that. You know Domino's $5 pizza?

I'm responsible for that. I did that. Just stop the waterboarding, you know. I was the second coming on the grassy knoll.

I got happy. What do you want to know? It was me. I did it.

You know spam emails? I invented those. Yeah, you know spam emails? You know the people that call and try and get you for the Toll Plaza booth thing and they tell you that it's fake registration?

I'm responsible for that. You've got your car's extended warranty? Yeah. I'm the mastermind.

I'm the guy. I've done. It's me. It is me.

Please kill me. That's hilarious, dude. Okay. Is there anything else to add on that?

Nope. Okay. Law, dude. I think the greatest thing that came out of 2025 is you, bro.

Honestly, I know that we kind of met before that, but as our friendship has grown, I'm super excited that you're local now, like relatively local. And I'm grateful for you for coming on the podcast again, and I look forward to continuing this forward with you, man, so thanks so much for coming on the podcast. I appreciate it. Yeah, I literally made, this is a 225 mile round trip just to do this one hour podcast.

Right, and the sad part is, that's not a lot for you. No. I'm a seasoned road warrior at this point. Right, you're like, yeah, 200, yeah, sure, yeah.

I threw that out yesterday, I'm like, well, it's kinda, let me see. Like, do you want to come over? He's like, sure. I'm like, yes.

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely, dude. I appreciate it, man. I was actually, I was sitting next to Jack and like, we have so much work to do because we have our big sales summit in like two weeks.

Right. And he's just like, we have a laundry list of shit we need to get done. I was like, hey, I'm not going to be here tomorrow. He's like, tomorrow's a work day.

What are you talking about? Right. I'm like, yeah, I got something really important I have to go do. Right.

I'm active brand ambassador here. I got to beat the drum for Camacho. Actually, he told me to go with Xeno because it's not, I'm not officially announced as I don't know if you're a Camacho yet. So I was like, just go with Zeno.

And I went to the director of marketing. I was like, can I be Camacho now? She's like, yeah, what do you think you should do? I was like, I should do Camacho.

I was like, all right, have at it, no problem. You should totally be leaning towards that. Like I said, last week I was surprised you were still in yellow. I'm like, well, that doesn't make any sense.

It's December 30th. Now it's the new year, new me. New year, new you. Here we go.

I do like the black. It's so fitting for him. You know what I mean? The yellow was a little more...

More uh, happy. Yeah. People were, people were, when I would meet people in person, but I wasn't working. So like, I would go to cigar shops the day before an event and like promote it a little bit, but I would be in my regular clothes.

Right. People would get mad at me, like legit mad that I wasn't wearing yellow. Like, where's the yellow? They're like, oh, you're not wearing yellow.

I'm like, haha, yeah, right? And they're like, why aren't you wearing yellow? Oh, you're angry. Yeah.

We expect you to look as big birdie as possible. Right. I now have a huge pile of yellow garments that I need to do something with. Burn.

I think there'll be a burning ceremony. Yeah, soon we must let them go. They are the past. All right, well, this concludes episode 7,809.

Yeah. Yeah. And thanks again for coming on, brother. Appreciate it.

My pleasure. If you'd like to find me on the Instagrams, my new Instagram handle is BoldleafLaw. BoldleafLaw? One word.

BoldleafLaw. I'm going to follow you right now. There we go. Perfect.

Don't follow me? What? I didn't know. Well, is it, has it always been that?

And you just changed? I just changed the handle. Oh, so then you already follow you. It's no longer tobacco cupcake.

I feel like that's not very Camacho. No, it's not very Camacho. That was very Xeno. Yes.

Perfect. Now you're bold leaf. Bold leaf. All right.

Thanks, everybody. Thanks, guys. Peace. Welcome to the Cigar Hustler Podcast, the show brought to you commercial-free.

But a massive shout-out to our amazing patrons on the Patreon. Thanks to your unwavering support, we're able to do unfiltered, unbiased opinions. Thank Cigars, the personalities in the cigar world. Your backing makes it possible for us to keep it real for our listeners.

Cheers to you. com and search the Cigar Hustler Podcast. F*** that one up.

Show Notes

On Todays Show Amazon Prime just got way better! A woman in Thailand got hot under the collar! Did Palmer Drive Through Lakeland today?  Then in Cigars someone releases something new….Procigar has a new program and then Law Reem is going to Manilla!