ACHP Episode 466 Cigars, Baad Bunny Wedding & Penis Injections

Transcript

They want him to sing Coldplay? Yes. In the comment section, they want him to sing Coldplay. Who in the comment section?

I didn't see that. Maybe you missed one. Which Coldplay? Like the famous one?

I don't know. Whatever he said the other day, he had to do something with Coldplay to calm himself down. Not kill anybody. So that would be to calm yourself down.

Potato, potato, Michael. This magic. Yeah, this is perfect. Bloopers are perfect.

He's in love with the bloopers that we don't do. We need to do a blooper reel. I don't know why we don't do that. We have bloopers every week.

Does it sound okay? Do I sound okay? You sound great. Are you sure?

We don't touch it. Go again. Hello? Yep, you're both the same.

Okay. We should do a blooper reel, and you have to pay to see it. Tell you what, you take the bloopers off the front and back end of it every day, and then you can keep them. Everything for you is pay.

Yeah, they should pay us. Everything you guys want to do is extra work for me. A blooper reel? I didn't ask for extra work for you.

Well, I have to memorize the stories, I can't have notes. Yes. So now I have to pre-read the entire story instead of just pulling out talking points and talking about it. We're too far angled out here.

I can't. I made it so you didn't get the red flashing lights, and I'm gradually getting ready for the next camera. Ah, got it. Okay.

Cool. Oh my god, a what? Yeah, he wants another camera for a two-shot. Yeah.

So the only way to get a two-shot is we have to get closer together. Oh man. Not necessarily. How much are you going to do it?

Put it back behind all those things? And look, I even use some rope wire ties to clean up the wires for you. That's nice. That's nice.

I mean, I'm the only one that touches them, but, you know, I'm just- You know what you can buy? Again, more work. You know what you can buy, Ty? That's about efficiency.

Come on. No, that's worth it. Palmer? Right, right.

You can buy, they have, like, those little slinky things you can put the wire in, so that way, like, you can't even see all the wires. It just looks like one big wire. I unplug all the wires from the cameras now because we bent the ends before, so now we don't have that issue again. I hope you've been switching this whole time.

Yeah, no, I have, 'cause I wanted to be a blooper reel. A blooper reel! It's not gonna be a blooper reel, but it'll probably be part of the show. Oh, perfect.

Yeah, sometimes I do leave the beginning stuff on. Yeah. Yesterday, it was a big black space. I thought it was messed up.

It was like 15 minutes of black. I don't know when he started the audio and didn't start the video. But when I said Cigar House or podcast episode, whatever, then the video was there. It's good to go.

But I almost gave up. " I always press these at the same time. And at the same time, it blacked out? Yeah, the beginning of it was all black.

Until you said, hold on a second, so I figured you knew. Alright, welcome to Cigar Hustler Podcast, episode 466. I'm Mike Palmer, your host, and with me today, as always, is Phil. I'm an astrophysicist, McGuffey.

Yes. In engineering. And my co-host, Mikey, Preston is sick today. Don't pay attention to my cough, it's just a coincidence.

Step on cabbage. Wow. Is it like a kissing cough? It could be.

I don't know. And for those of you playing along at home, we're only doing Preston jokes on the day of Preston. Oh, oh, are you sure about that? Yeah, I just started it today.

Okay. I bet you you're gonna make a Preston joke at some other time. Not today. Well, technically you could do today or tomorrow because he's here again tomorrow.

You won't be here tomorrow. I know I won't. Doesn't mean the joke can't be. Yeah.

Because again, I have to do all the work so you guys can do a joke, which means you have to pre-read the stories tonight. I'll send you links. I have to pre-read the links. Who's going to be the host?

Yeah, I pre-read the last time I was on there. I did it. No, no, no, you didn't read the whole story. You just read the stuff I had on the screen.

Yeah. And now you have to read the whole story, because there's less stuff on the screen. Okay. All right.

Thank you, Daddy. Whatever. Listen, I would never ask you to do something that I wouldn't do myself. I understand.

I'm just letting you know what's involved. I'm aware of what's involved. I told you what to do. But I will be able to pick up the hard drives tomorrow afternoon when I get back into town.

We're going to have to. It's not a we'll be able to. It's going to have to. All right.

McDonald's caviar went live today that we mentioned last week. Yeah. The McDonald's. What is the?

Wait, wait. Are we just going into this? McNeggies. Well, this is an update to a story we did last week.

Oh, I thought we had to do the CH pod then. We will get to that. Just relax over there. He's in charge.

Oh, you guys are confusing me now. You need to take it easy. You need to take it easy. You need to relax over there, blooper boy.

Yeah. Yeah, listen, he's, you know, you ever see, you ever see Half-Baked? Yes. You know, like Palmer just kind of beefed up on you and said, yeah, I'm somebody's bitch, back up, that's, that's, hands off my Kool-Aid.

Hands off my Kool-Aid. No, no, you're my Kool-Aid. Oh, whatever. So anyway, they did a countdown on the website.

Yeah. I started watching it four hours. I, I logged in to watch it countdown, come back and check, come back and check. Paul was sending me notifications.

Ben Roland was sending me notifications. So when it got down to one second, it crashed. Yeah. Locked up.

Went white screen. Exciting times. Nothing. Boop, boop.

Nothing. Bing bong. No caviar for you. Bing bong.

No caviar. Ten minutes later, he came back on and said, "Sold out. " Do you think he actually sold any of it to anybody? Well, it was free.

There were giveaways. Yeah. But yeah, I don't know. Ben said maybe they gave away 20.

I think they maybe won. Or maybe it was a whole scam just to get you at the website. Yeah, and then they crash it right at one? Well, I mean, evidently there was billions of people watching the countdown.

They're very excited about the caviar. It was free caviar. And free McNuggets. I don't know how that works.

If the site crashes, it crashes for everybody, does it not? You would think, yeah, but, well, maybe it, you know, refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh. Maybe somebody else refresh faster. Right.

Maybe Justin Andrews just bought it all. I don't think so. I don't think so. No?

That's not a good joke. You don't think he eats caviar and chicken nuggets? No, I don't think. Well, you know what?

He probably is a McDonald's, chicken nugget, and caviar kind of guy. You think he is? I think he is. Yeah.

I think he's like halfway fancy. Yeah. Yeah, that's what that means. The money to be fancy, but not really the know-how to be fancy.

But he's still kind of like North Carolina. Right, exactly. Is it North Carolina? He doesn't wear no shoes, he wears one shoe.

No, he wears like boots. He's like a boots guy. Oh, but no socks. With no socks?

With no socks. No, he wears like the boots from like JCPenney, not like real boots. They're like fake boots. Yeah.

You know, like, like poser boots. I think he buys overly expensive boots. Where if you lift up the jeans, you can see the ankles. Right.

Yeah. Oh, gotcha. The boot shoes. Nice.

So anyway, if you got some of the McDonald's caviar and you'd like to share, send some to the show. I was trying to get some. " I wanted you to have this present for Valentine's Day. I wanted you to have McNuggets and caviar for Valentine's Day.

Unfortunately, it didn't work out. It didn't work out. What I think is crazy is how many people were watching this site, and I've never heard of this whole situation until it was on our show. Right.

You know, it was just all podcast viewers. Right. Oh, we got to get some of the Palmer's caviar stuff. Right.

All right, anyway, on today's show, we have a Bad Bunny Super Bowl news, just a little piece, something that has come out. The Winter Olympics is getting harder. Be careful at Olive Garden with the fried food. Uh-oh.

And in cigars, we have a couple of new cigars and an update on information on a very popular story. Then we end with a what's the score. But before we get started, Mikey, how do we get some of that CH Pod swag Mike and the new Preston I Love Mikey t-shirt. Oh, the Preston I Love Mikey t-shirt?

Is that a real? Yeah, because you want him, you want to sell the shirt that says he loves you, makes you feel better. Preston, I Love Mikey. And I'm all about my feelings.

Yeah, all about your feelings. You can make it like an I Love New York shirt, but I Love and then Preston's initials? If we did a Preston, if we did a shirt with Preston on it, it would sell out so fast. You think so?

Yes, it would. Like he's had a heart with Preston's face in it, it would sell so fast. So, here's what we did. Here's what we did, Preston.

Thank you very much. Please sign this piece of paper. Oh, you just have to go through AI and make it a likeness. Make it look like...

We do a lot of that on our thumbnails. So, first of all, this is... I'm sorry, Spider-Man Trump was quite the problem the other day because it wouldn't do Trump or Spider-Man. Right.

It had to do similar to both. Okay, sorry, go ahead. 079 have come in. The acquiring of the hats.

They look like this. Can you turn around so you can see the black and open it up maybe, you know, put it on your head. When you get it home, stuff don't fall out. Yeah, you don't need that.

The stuff will fall out when you get it. Okay, the stuff will fall out, but it's not part of the hat. It's not like the liner. I like that.

Yeah, it's a little snug. I tried it on. A little snug? It's a snapback.

You got a big dome. I do have a big dome. But this is your Richardson hat. Nice.

It's a nice quality hat. It doesn't seem like it's going to fall apart or anything. It's a great quality hat. And the brim's nice.

It's not flat. Yes. This is what a lot of people in industry will use. Yes.

Right? This is kind of your... So, the good news is there's going to be extreme value in this one. It won't be as expensive as our black on black hat.

We purposely did this one so that it's a little more affordable, and we're going to just kind of We'll test and see how this all goes, but there's only gonna be 30 of them, that's it, 29, 29 because of you, me, I don't know, I'll have to wait to see how it looks, when it has the thing on it, how it fits, because it is the very last hole, I like it, I'd wear a DJ, well, you got, you already got the black on black hat, I like that, you got the, you got, you got one of three beanies that are out in the world, the beanie is great, you know, so, I don't know, did Ben get a beanie, no, Ben hasn't gotten the beanie, Ben, Ben Willemey? Yeah. Yeah. You got his beanie?

Yeah, I did. Well, he was shipped to him. All right. So there's only 28 available, people.

Of these hats? No, there's 29 available. Palmer's getting one. I didn't get a beanie.

He didn't get a beanie. I gotta even it up. We can't be taking everything every time we make something. I gotta even it up for my kids.

No. If you really want one, we'll get you one. Thank you. You know, I appreciate that.

Alright, so there's 28 available. Perfect. com for all of our swag. Buy one, get the second one 40% off, spend $100 or more and get free shipping.

I have some comments. Are you going to do the comments now? From our recent shows. There was like 10 on the last show.

Yeah, it continues to grow. You think it's because we're reading it or because they like making fun of me? Both. Is that what it is?

Yeah. Yeah. Either way, I'm fine. It helps our algorithm or whatever.

On the most recent podcast, Real Smoke Pod said, "Mom and Dad, stop fighting. " I like, you know, I like a little, sometimes it happens, right? My response was, "Hey, Mom and Dad fight sometimes. " Right?

Right. It doesn't mean we don't love you. Right. Oh yeah, that too.

Yeah. Trying to get a better show for you, you know, sometimes you got to push the limit. T-Money says, I speak Spanish and still did not understand what Bad Bunny was saying. I saw a video where they dubbed in a country western song into Bad Bunny's thing.

Oh, wow. It is not what he was saying at all. There's no way. But it was funny.

I got a Sam Hopkins says, hell yeah, pizza rolls on the previous episode. Yes. I did have those pizza rolls, by the way. See?

David Morris said, "I'm mentally unstable right now. I had to listen to Coldplay on loop so I didn't kill anyone," in quotations. " It's kind of long, it'd be a big sign. Yeah.

Maybe not, David. And to kind of clarify, shed a little more light on the Maryland legislation, he goes, "Introduce is good and bad. The bad part is the licensure allowance of one lounge per 150,000 people. Most counties," just to kind of surmise, He's saying that if you have two in that county and there's 150,000 people, one of them has to go away.

Right. And the county he lives in has two, and one of them is going to have to go away. Which is weird. Like, I don't understand.

That doesn't make sense. Yeah, I don't understand how that works either. This seems like it's a random number. Just let the license happen.

Right. You know, and then if a county can only sustain one or the other, then through natural selection it'll... What? I don't want to interrupt, but I want to remember I have something to say.

So you have to put your arm up? Take my hand up. Okay. Okay.

It's like in Volusia County, they only allow so many liquor licenses. Right. Is that any different? Well, they didn't say, alright, liquor licenses, and if you don't have one, you have to close.

Oh, okay. Right. I see the difference. There's no, like, grandfather.

Yeah, this is coming in after the fact, they've already been established. Ah, gotcha. Right. Well, maybe at one time, though.

Could have been the same. Maybe at one time. Back in '17. Back in the day.

Hey, right after probation. And people are still giving me a hard time about my New England Patriot. Yes, yes, about choosing the losing team. Oh, yeah, that was one I didn't see, too.

I saw that earlier. Something about you choosing the losing team? Yeah, I saw something about that, too. Because that was a few episodes ago.

Love the pre... Oh, Ben Rowland. Love this pre-Super Bowl predictions. Opposite bets on the moneymakers for the win.

Yeah, so now he's doing everything he says is the opposite. Right. Perfect. That's how you win.

And, yeah, that's it. That's all I got for some comments. So, hey, you know, make some comments on our show. It may get read out on our podcast.

Oh, you got to read it on the air. Sometimes. Sometimes. You didn't start the timer.

Yes, I did. Oh, I didn't see the last number. I just saw the first two. I can only see the first two numbers.

Like 1239 is not moving. All right, now on to the things everybody's talking about. Let's go. All right.

The couple that got married during the Bad Bunny thing. Yeah. They really got married. That was authentic.

" Wow. That was kind of cool. Hell yeah. And then he signed their marriage certificate as the witness.

No way. Yeah. That's pretty cool. It was pretty cool.

I could see why he becomes, he's one of the top artists in the world. Yes. Is he one of, or is he the? I think he's the.

I think he is the, yes. Yeah. Hmm. Okay.

All right. Now the Winter Olympics. What's going on with Samantha Gunthry and Nancy? I don't know.

It's hard to tell. Every day there's fake stories that come out all the time. So now, if you look at one place, they've arrested somebody, and then they explain how they figured out it was him. You go to another place, and she's still making videos, and nobody knows where they're at.

I saw one video where they were bringing a body out of a house, but it wasn't her because they haven't found her yet. What a sick joke. Well, everybody's trying to get the clicks, so all these half-baked news stories are doing fake stories or stories that may be half-true to get people to click and open it up, and then you get the nail fungus ad. Well, it's still, I mean, updated news from CNN says that she's still missing.

Yeah, see, I mean, was that true, or do they have her? Who knows? I saw three that said they found the body. No.

It's on the pacemaker tracker or something. Unless it says TMZ. Oh, I mean, it's, you know, St. Louis News, Alpaca Gazette.

Yeah, that's not accurate. Alpaca Gazette. I just picked it up. Alpaca Gazette.

Yeah, it's ran by alpacas. Yeah, he's definitely not a real news one. It's ran by the alpacas? Yes.

They get to have newsletters, too. There's a lot going on in the alpaca world. So it's a bunch of 14, 13-year-old kids with that hair that they have? Could be.

Yeah. Maybe. I don't know. The alpaca news.

Spitters. Spitters. No, that's the llamas. Oh, llamas, spitters.

McNuggy drama? What? Moving on. Winter Olympics.

Ah, Winter Olympics. Winter Olympics. Ski jumpers, they're having a problem. Okay.

That's the latest controversy in Winter Olympics. They're injecting, what is it they're injecting in? An acid serum into their genitalia to artificially increase the size. For jumping?

Okay, now wait, now think about it. Wait a second. I know, it doesn't make sense until you read the story. What's going on here?

Palmer, where are you getting your stories from? This is the Back of Times Magazine, or what was that? Read his digest? This is from CNN, this is a legit thing.

This is from Alpaca News. This is from Alpaca News, my favorite news source. What it does is it increases the biggest part where the fabric is, so it's not your arms, it's your trunk. So, by making your penis thicker, it stretches out the material and gives you more lift.

Who figured this out? Because... Who figured this out? The claims were put to the World Anti-Doping Agency that it's being done to enlarge the skin suit surface area around the crotch to give ski jumpers greater lift to glide further in pursuit of gold.

Now, they changed the rules how long ago? You're only allowed to have a six-packed shirt. Last year, because the Norwegians were adding extra material to the crotch area of their suits to make it bigger. Right.

So, they changed the rule that you can't do that. So, now these guys found a way to swell up their wieners to make the fabric stretch. If only Barry was still alive. You know who Barry is?

You know what I'm talking about? No. Barry the ski jump. Do you remember a few years ago the big black guy with the huge dong that was going on?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. See, look, you shook your head no when I said big black guy. " Yeah, because didn't you give something to Palmer? Wasn't there like something happened?

This image was in rotation. Oh, it was coming to us all the time. Hidden under several different things. Yeah, right.

Like that guy would be the ski jumping champion. Uh, yeah. Yeah, he might be just based on that one thing. Yeah, on Squirrel Glider alone, I mean, he should be able to, he should stretch that fabric.

So, Asia, anything from Asia, they're gonna be in last place, and anything from... Wow, look at you. Oh my goodness. How would you know that?

Come on, bro. He's staring at the racism. That's racist. That's racist.

That wasn't racist, that's... Racist. Yeah, it's factual, really. Maybe some from the girlfriends that hang out.

Maybe they let out the... Did he just admit to having a girlfriend? No, not like the girl. I mean like the girls that are friends.

Like the girlfriends. She's not my girlfriend. She's a girl that's my friend. I like that he's nervous and he's kind of...

No, it's not a nervous thing. Bing bong, bing bong, bing bong. And his wife was just on the phone. Was that his wife?

No. Oh, I don't know. That was one of his girlfriends. One of his girlfriends?

Yeah. That makes sense. That makes sense. She dates Asians, apparently.

Right. She likes just the Asians. Wow. So anyway, that's the latest problem with the Winter Olympics.

So it's okay to do this or not okay? No, no, no, no. It's bad. You can't do it.

You can't expand your penis. It's considered doping. It's considered doping. Yes.

How are you going to check for that? Come here. Maybe it shows up in a blood test? I don't know.

Wow, you guys are all on me about the Asian joke. Hunker, hunker, hunker, hunker, it feels a little big. Well, they would have to do it before and after to see if they don't. You got a few centimeters in girth here.

Right, this feels really big. There's a helmet problem, too, but not nearly as interesting as this. Yeah, the helmet, yeah. There's a special helmet design that's illegal because it gives you better aerodynamics for bobsledding and the skeleton.

And people are working this stuff in. Yes. Not us Americans, though. No, no, it's other countries.

We're very, very honorable people. Other country. Yeah, yeah, we're very honorable. We just, you know, snap our legs.

Wow. Wow. That was excellent. Yes.

Her father says she's retired, but she has not made that decision herself. If it's up to me, she's retired. Of course she's retired. I don't know.

She didn't retire after the knee surgery. She could go one more time. Well, no, she's probably going to have to retire unless she's 41. She's going to come back at 45 and do it again?

No. Who knows? She better have a- Maybe they give her a titanium bone or something. She better have a new leg.

Yeah, like a swelled up one. Ooh, could they give her like a fake leg, like just lop it off at the knee? Million dollar man style? Yeah.

We have the technology. That's right. Yeah, that'd be dope. You know, I saw an article the other day, now he would be the six billion dollar man with the- Due to inflation?

Yes. That's based on a true story, by the way. As far as the pilot and the accident and losing an eye, not the, you know, the robotics. Yeah.

That part was fake. But the other part was true. The whole eye thing? The test pilot that had the crash and he lost an eye.

But he lived? Yes. Yeah, it's all a picture of him in an airplane with a big white eye patch on. Oh.

Did not get the bionics. Poor guy. All right, do you like going to Olive Garden, Michael? Not really.

Yes, I do. Boots loves, or Phil loves Olive Garden. Yes. All right, a cook.

This is the story I was sent by several of our viewers, so we have to cover this one. So we have to cover this story. Okay. A cook kills himself by plunging head first into a deep fryer.

Oh, my goodness. So, in Pennsylvania, in Olive Garden, an employee died from severe burns injury after jumping into a deep fryer at a suicide attempt, they're saying. So this guy comes into work. He's very distraught.

I guess he has a little bit of a mental problem to start with, obviously. He's in the back of the house. Right. Strips off his clothes, throws himself into the fryer head first.

Is that Olive Garden? Olive Garden in Pennsylvania. Okay. You know, that's a new one.

And he died. Not right away, because they're saying a suicide attempt. Okay. So what were you going to say?

Sorry. That's a new one, because have you guys ever seen that Thousand Ways to Die? No. No.

That wasn't on there. Or do you remember E-Bombs World? I know Mikey does, because that was a thing when we were kids. That wasn't on E-Bombs World.

Nope. E-Bombs World. E-Bom. E-B-A-U-M.

E-Bombs World. It was a site. It was like when we were kids, it was a site where it was like the first one where they showed like crazy things, like stuff like that, like what you're talking about. Like the Faces of Death video?

I saw that. Yeah, same scenario. Same video? No.

Okay, so this guy jumps into, like head first. Well, they're saying, yeah, they're saying he jumped in it head first. How big is the fryer? Yeah, how big is the fryer?

It's kind of making, freaking me out a little bit. He would think he could just like dunk, like it's only deep enough to maybe, you know, once you lean over the counter. Yeah. I mean, you couldn't submerge.

And he lived, and now he's totally mutilated. Well, he died later from the injuries, but he didn't die right away. But they keep saying attempted suicide. It seems to me like he, you know, sort of succeeded.

Mission accomplished. Right, exactly. That's wild. They shut down the restaurant for four days.

Four days? Four days. That's all it was. That's probably a lot of money.

Four days. Did they have to get a new fryer or just clean that one? Just clean that one. Just drain it and clean it?

I mean, realistically, like, I think it was up to the restaurant. They probably would have been open that evening, charge extra, we got to make these lasagna fritters, everybody needs their rolls, you know, yeah, what are they, I don't go to Olive Garden, what are they fries, are like chicken cutlets or something, breadsticks, unlimited breadsticks, okay, what do they do, what, I mean, it's a pasta place, do they, yeah, chicken cutlets, they fry, or, yeah, fried, uh, lasagna fritters, they do, lasagna fritters, yeah, they have, like, calamari, they have a whole bunch of, oh, yeah, calamari, I guess that'd be a thing, fried ravioli as an appetizer, yeah, the police probably slowed that down, like, The process? The four days? Yeah.

A lady got burned pulling him out. Trying to save him? Trying to, yeah. So, I mean, I don't know how far he went.

I mean, you know, he thinks you could just grab him by his belt. Oh, wait, he was naked. He took all his clothes off. Just grab him by his hips and yank him out.

But if that's any oil, too, your hands gotta go in. Can you imagine that scenario? Oh, I'm not saving him. Like, you're in the back?

Well, we already know that, Boots. Yeah, we already know that your self-preservation is number one in your book. Oh, that guy looks like a chicken tender. Well, I'm hungry now.

Can I get another chicken cutlet, baby? Oh, man. Did he use the syringe? Something smells good in the kitchen.

Why are you guys cooking? You're the guy that gets on the boat in Titanic, the lifeboat. Like, you just, oop, women and children. Okay, slide in.

Hello, daddy. That's you. You were that guy. He grabs the blanket and puts it over his head.

He's got a babushka. First of all, how could you not be that guy? You just hit an iceberg, man. I'm not that guy.

I'm not that guy. I'm not that guy. You don't see the water and go, man, that looks a little cold. Dude.

I might have been going, hey, if you scoot over on this door, we can both get on this, but, you know, I'm not going to push people out of the boat. They would have died anyways on the door, regardless. She lived. She lived.

Allegedly. No, she lived. In the movie, she lived. And then she kicked the stone in the end.

Yeah, she was the old lady at the end that jumped back in the water again. So, I mean, she should have just went off the door. Hmm. She lived a good life.

Yeah, she did live a good life. She never cashed in a rock, though. I would have cashed that sucker in. Right?

Right. Kept it low key. Would have made my own Titanic boat. I mean, she could have summed up the whole movie by just saying, it's right here.

Right in the beginning? Sure. Three hours saved. Wow.

I kept it. Here it is. Oh, you're looking for this. Oh, this whole extravagant.

Oh, this. You're looking for this necklace. Could be anywhere. You know what I mean?

It's not around my neck. Yeah. No, this is a replica. Because I was the last one to see it.

Wow. Okay. So getting back to Olive Garden here. We're at other suicides now.

We're moved on. All right. Fair enough. We've gone from super hot to super cold.

Right. Yeah. So the lady couldn't pull him out? Well, I don't know how you...

No, she pulled him out, but it was too late. Yeah. I don't know. Like, I'm back there, you know, prepping the lettuce.

I was thinking salad too, you're cutting up the lettuce, like just cutting the carrots, getting things established, like so you know, Phil's going head first into the oil, Bob walks in, he's having a hard day, I'm like, what do you think he looked like? You think he looked like, uh, what's his name's dad off of Pirates of the Caribbean? He looked like a chimichanga. He looked like Deadpool.

Oh yeah. So, uh, you know, yeah. So like this guy shoves his head in there and I'm just, yeah, I mean, does it take a minute? Are you going like, I mean, he's You're not stripping off his clothes.

You're not walking over when he's doing that? I don't know how to... Right, right. Hey, Tom.

Hey, Tom. Should you be taking your clothes off by the deep fryer? Yeah. I thought we said Wednesday's was off limits.

Hey. Wednesday's that naked day, that's Thursday. Hey, you missed the hygiene video about do's and don'ts behind the line here in the kitchen. Let me wear my hair nut.

Wow. We're terrible people. I mean, does he like put his hands on the, you know, on left and right? Oh, God.

Terrible. Like an electric chair, but it's a fry chair. I feel for the lady that pulled them out. Right, her hands and arms are all burnt.

I don't know why she's, yeah. Because you're trying to save him. She's a good person. First of all, anybody that's getting naked and dunking themselves in a fryer at work doesn't need to be saved.

Maybe she pulled him out by the way. Well, I get that she's a good person, but, like, that whole scenario seems so strange. Yeah, how do you mentally process all of it that's going on? Like, honestly, you're driving to work, you're having a bad day, you're upset, and you're thinking, you know, I can stick my head in the fryer when I get there.

Yeah, that's not how I'm going out. But no, I'm talking about the lady, like, oh, normal person, I mean, normal life. Probably, you know, I mean, probably still some levels of misery, because she still is a cook at Olive Garden, right? You know what I mean?

So, I don't know why she could have been a waitress, as far as we know, that's just a woman. That's the front of house. " Okay. Why did he get naked?

Can we just please break that down? So really, that's what I'm saying, though. " Right. You know what I mean?

" I don't, like, I don't know how to process that mentally. Like, if he went in and pulled a gun to his head, I'd understand. I understand, right? Oh God, don't do it.

Reasonable, right? Yeah, I'm like, oh, this guy's having a bad day, right? Well. Don't kill anybody else!

Just shoot yourself, please. Right. If you get burned with fabric, it's hard to get the fabric off of you. Maybe that's what he was thinking.

Oh, so he's highly intelligent. Maybe just in case I survive this, I want him to be peeling the fabric out of my skin. Got it. So he took his pants off?

I said he got naked. You said that he just dunked his head on it, right? Did he keep his socks on? No, no, I said he jumped in.

I don't know how it worked. Did he have his socks on? They didn't specifically mention it. Real G's would have kept their socks on.

He put his Crocs back on, so he, you know, he's comfortable. You know what, how old was he? There was no mention of his age. He probably did have Crocs.

Okay. All right. All right, Cigar News. Oh, wait, Michael, do you have a video for us today, like the one yesterday?

I do not have a video today. Oh, thank goodness. Thank goodness. You want to throw it in the middle of what's the score, maybe?

Yeah. Yeah, maybe I'll add it later. All right. There you go.

All right, Cigar News. El Mago, is that how you say that? El Mago, is that how you say that? Yeah.

El Mago releasing the Beach Blend next week. Ooh. It's a new regular production cigar from El Mago Cigars. It's named after a memory he has about his grandfather.

Oh, this is all tied into his grandfather. Yes, the whole line is named after his grandmother and his grandfather who died when that building fell down in Miami. Oh, I've seen these cigars. It's the one that's in the blue and pink tubos.

We've carried them. Yeah, four. Are we going to get the beech? We don't carry them anymore.

We're not getting the beech. Yeah. It's a 5x50 box press Robusto made by the Mexican San Andres wrapper covering a Criollo binder grown in Esteli, Nicaragua, and a filler blend of tobaccos from Condega, Esteli, Jalapa regions of Nicaragua. Price?

It's a bundle cigar. There's no box. It's a bundle cigar. Well, it's in a bundle.

It's not a bundle cigar. It's still very pretty and has all the, you know, like it looks like the other stuff, but no tube, but it's in a bundle, not a box. You wanna know the single price stick, or is it- Yeah, single price stick, cause I didn't tell you how many that come in yet. Okay.

It's a Robusto. Twelve. Fifteen. Ooh, eight.

Yes. Eight dollars. Twenty-five count bundle. Bing bong.

Okay, so it's a $200-ish bundle. Not bad. Yeah, it doesn't say the package of the bundle. Yeah, 180 bucks.

Does it say "The Beach" on it? It does say "The Beach" on it, and it's blue and white. It might not be a bad cigar for Florida. Well, I mean, it's very… If you want me to talk about it on the Patreon, I'm more than willing to talk about it.

I'm not going to get yelled at on this one. It's a very pretty-looking blue and white cigar, very beachy-looking. Right. But, you know.

Okay. Alright, Andres Sanchez, National Sales Director of El Mago Cigars, told Half Wheel that the name of the cigar… Oh, we already talked about this. Yeah. Nick Fusco used to smoke cigars with his grandfather underneath.

See, you made the conversation so much better when you read the article, and then you talk about it, and then we made our comments, and now it sounds like a real podcast. Thank you so much. Oh, it sounds like three of us just sitting around, which is better. Right, and our viewers and listeners appreciate that.

Appreciate all your hard work and effort. Nice. Thank you. Alright, sweeping the cigar industry is a huge story.

It's everywhere. m. We took a deeper dive into it. Yes.

We had some misinformation. Oh, okay. Go on. He's reading.

Go on. Well, I'm trying to decide where to start with it. It was corrected by Half Wheel. Okay, well, let's set the precedence of what happened.

Juan Cancel allegedly merged with Abe for Smokin' and Abe. What we understood was that Abe has now purchased Protocol Cigars. Oh, correct. That's what we heard.

That was the original story that came out. Correct. Well, apparently, Juan Cancel is not the sole owner of said company. That would make sense.

Right. Because I saw a gentleman that congratulated himself, sort of, and Juan for the sale, and I asked a couple of questions, and he is one of the owners of the, not Protocol, but that cigar company. Cabra, Cabra, Cabra. Cubarico.

So we covered that the company that owns the protocol was bought by Smokin and Abe, Dabba Dabba, but that's not what really happened, in a statement from Half Wheel, I'm going to read this exactly, an earlier version of the story indicated that, whatever the name of that cigar company, had been acquired by Smokin, that was incorrect and based on a press release from that, from, I don't remember how you say it, from that company. That company, a subsequent press release issued by Smoke-In, along with a company representative, clarified that it has acquired only the intellectual property and brand assets of Protocol Cigars from that cigar company. Okay. So they just bought the rights to use the name.

Got it. But none of their stuff. But none of their stuff, and it is exclusively now a... Smoke-In.

Smoke-In thing. So what we were worried about with other salesmen or something across the country doesn't matter, it's exclusive smoking. com. It still correlates with what you're saying, but there is that one fragment that's removed, however, everything else kind of lines up.

Sure, sure, sure. Don't give any of that away. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. As part of the change, protocol will transition to an exclusive line for Smoke-In, which will carry it both online and selection of its retail locations.

That makes sense. Yes. Okay. That way Smoke-In's not competing with itself with other retailers, with this particular line.

Right. So it's only a line, not the whole protocol. No, in store, they possess the intellectual, look the only there's the only thing that has value is the intellectual property correct right it's not certainly it's not stuff right right so the the real question was what's the value of that intellectual property and and you know if it's just the intellectual property can abe 10 exit now that it's his right the answer is probably probably yeah the big difference when yesterday and today is we thought they bought the cigar company they only bought the brand right makes That makes sense. Right.

You know, what's really kind of funny, though, is that that press release hit, Dojo talked about it. Right. Right. Dojo's tied to Smoke Inn.

Right. Right. I don't, you know, it's loosely, but there's still a media source. Right.

Right. And then Coop reported it. Right. Right.

And then, and then Half Wheel reported it. Right. I don't know how the Coop Half Wheel timeline. Right.

As far as how that plays out. However, like. If we're bad for media, we do a press release. We submit it to everybody else.

Right. Right. And then we cover it on our show. Right.

But if Abe does it and it gets released to Dojo first, oh, good for media? Like, where's Abe or Dojo? Well, they're kind of linked, right? Either.

My understanding was the show is bad for the industry, not us particularly as a brand of cigars. Right, but like this show does not drop a press release on something before it releases others. Before, right, before it goes, oh, right, because we respect the other media sources. I don't know why Abe didn't save it to cover it himself and have one on his show on Saturday.

Right, I mean, that would have been a good move. That would have been the move, I mean, he gave it to Dojo, which you, like you said, it's smoking light. How many viewers does Dojo have versus how many viewers does KMA or something? I think Abe has more.

I don't know, they both have a tremendous amount of... Yeah, Abe's on the military network thing, he says every week. Is he? Or maybe that's two guys, I don't remember, one of them is.

Oh yeah, somebody wrote that they, you know, hey, TCA better than you guys all day or whatever, something like that. Like, I love you guys, but TCA's better. I said, well, hey, man, thanks. I mean, I appreciate it.

That's your opinion. Right? We love TCA, too. Right.

Huh. Matter of fact, let's go to the lighter cam, Michael, and what's today's lighter? Who's TCA? The Cigar Authority.

The Cigar Authority. My friend Dave Garofalo. Two guys, Dave Garofalo, my friend. I don't know why I was only saying two guys cigars in my head.

Because, hey, that's the name of the shop. It's just easier to say. Oh, okay. We just refer to him as two guys.

Right. Right. but I'm surprised they got the first press release wrong. So then Dojo had to have said it wrong.

And then Abe corrected, we didn't buy the cigar company. We bought the brand. So how'd they get it wrong? Maybe Juan gave the information to Dojo, and then Abe says, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. We didn't buy the company. Let's slow down here. Right.

This is what the press release should say. Right. So maybe Juan got ahead of himself. Maybe he got a little excited.

That would make sense. Yeah. He's buying all my sticks. As long as it breaks down.

They own everything. As long as it breaks down to, you know, it making sense and we're still bad for the industry, I'm fine with that. Oh, certainly, man. Everybody's happy.

And this is why you're still bad. This is why... And they're still good. Right.

You're evil. We're evil. Got it. Thank you very much.

We should get a Cigar Houser podcast booth one year at the PCA. Yeah? Just let it sit empty. Just let it sit empty.

" Bad for the industry? Take a brochure. I'd schedule an interview with Coop. It ain't never happening.

He never interviews us. He's called us. We've had him call in on the show before. No, no, no.

Yeah, I don't think he would, no. You don't think he'd take the call? Yeah, we have a great clip from him. Do you guys remember?

Quaaludes and cocaine. Yeah, I got Quaaludes, cocaine. Yeah, that was great. That was great.

We rode that for a while. I still love the guy, even though he hates us. Oh, I don't dislike him. All right, Fierro Teigo.

Ooh, they're having an anniversary. Aww. 50 years? 50 years.

No. 30 years. 30 years! You got it right!

Boom, boom, boom! And they're celebrating with a Metropolitan Nude Limited Edition. Is it flavored? Is it regular?

The Metropolitan is normally sweet-tipped. Yeah. It is a 6x50 Toro with a blend that uses an Ecuadoran Habano wrapper, a Dominican binder, and a mix of Dominican and Nicaraguan fillers. Is that the one that's sweet-tipped?

Yeah. The Connecticut one is. Well, the host. Oh, maybe.

I don't know. We don't fact check on this one. No, the Metropolitan's not. That's that fatter one.

Metropolitan is the host. Yeah, that's the flavor. Oh, but the host is the sweet-tipped version of the Metropolitan. No, I think that's just the size.

I've had the Metropolitan before. It is sweet-tipped. One of them is, David Mealy used to always give me one for my wife, and he said in the industry he was referred to as the panty dropper. David Mealy?

Yeah, back when he used to work there. That guy is always funny for one-miners. It's the panty-dropper. That's what I said, because the women like it.

It's the panty-dropper. They make it at the Quesada, the Quesada family at Tabacos de Exportation, factory in the Dominican Republic with 2,500 boxes of 10 cigars, 25,000 cigars. How much is the anniversary limited edition cigar from Fiero Tego, the Metropolitan, not sweet tipped, because it's the host, not the host. Yeah, these are like more northern type cigars anyways though, right?

Northern type? Yes, I would say yes. We carry them here. We do carry them here, because we like...

Not the anniversary. I'm going to guess 25. A cigar, right? We're talking about a cigar.

Yeah, a cigar. $25. I'm going to call it $30. $30 for 30th anniversary?

Yeah. It's way off. 50. Really?

Metropolitan Host is cigar, dude. Metropolitan Host is the Robusto size. Oh, yeah. And this isn't his Suma or one of his other.

This is the more. This is the one from the townhouse. 00, so that would make sense. I'm sorry, I must have thrown them off, but I thought an Anniversary Cigar would be a little more.

Yeah, but they don't double the price. 00, I would have said, what'd you say? 50. " Why not?

Super special, 30 years. It won't buy. I don't know that. Getting into things people don't know the price of.

Yeah. Paul Stulak's Blue Lightning is heading to store. Blue Lightning Sky, sorry, Blue Lightning Sky, heads to stores. It's not like Big Sky, is it?

You heard of Paul Stulak? I have. Well, have you really? We've mentioned this brand before.

Oh, they have very unusual names. He's been around for a long time. He actually disappeared for a period of time, and now he's kind of popped back up. Oh.

Yeah. So his cigars are made at Las Vilas Cigar Factory, overseen by Guillermo Pena. He used to work, I think he used to work with Kiki Berger back in the day, Berger in Argenti. I think.

So that would have been her husband or with her? That would have been the original husband. Yeah. Don Kiki.

His other cigars are called the Red Screaming Sun. Okay. The White Blinding Light. Do you think he micro doses?

Yes. Now he's got blue lightning sky, so he's keeping the theme going at least. Everything's just, you know, flowing through. What's different about this cigar is...

No skulls? Does he have a skull on it? No skulls. No skulls.

He doesn't give an MSRP. He just makes the wholesale price. Right. And then lets the market decide what it should cost.

Or the retailer. Yes. I mean, everybody's going to keystone it. Or more.

No, because here's what happens. Let's say the wholesale is $5 and the retail is $10. And a retailer looks at it and says, it's $10, right? And then you go to somebody else and this retailer says it's $15, they're gonna say, whoa, whoa, wait a second, so it's 10 bucks over here.

Yeah. What are we doing? Right? So even, and your better retailers, like your online guys that are well-developed, they're gonna show you that the MSRP is $10 and they're gonna sell it for $8, you know?

So yeah, that doesn't work. But then he says all that, but then he tells halfway what the MSRP is. - Oh, really? What's the MSRP?

- Hold on. Wholesale price, and then the cigars are sold to retailers, and then he allows those retailers in the market to dictate the price. But, in a comment to Half Wheel, he says, they're $12. - Man, I was thinking $12.

- They should be around $12 for the Screaming Blue Mimi or whatever it's called. - Yeah. So he gave that press release, and then Charlie or somebody else asked questions. - Come on, what's the MSRP?

And he folded. Twelve dollars. Don't tell me why. Oh, it's about twelve bucks.

Screaming Blue Mimi. Was that like a Drew Carey thing? Blue Screaming Lightning. Blue Screaming Lightning.

Oh, I thought you said Mimi. You know, all that makeup, I saw a thing, all that makeup on Mimi's face caused rashes and they had to make special makeup for her. Really? Right, because her face would lock up before the show was over.

Really? Oh, good God. So, yeah, they had to create their own makeup because their skin was sensitive. Blue Screaming Mimi.

Blue Screaming Mimi. Yeah. That would've been nice. Okay.

All right, now it's time for the industry's favorite game show. What's the score? Very good, gentlemen. Our cigar today is February 9th, 2026.

Patrick LaGrid is on Dern Cigar, the Plasencia. This is a Redux, gentlemen. It's only one cigar was smoked. It is the Conseca 151 La Musica.

Oh, that's a good cigar. That's a good cigar. You had this one? Yeah, the 151.

By the way, I apologize to the rep through LinkedIn. I was a little hard on him when he was here. Were you? Oh, it might have been before you came out.

" He goes, "No, they don't let me have the one. " You weren't hard on him. I felt a little bad. So he had mentioned that we were friends on LinkedIn.

So I went on and told him what it, you know, it was a pleasure meeting you and we'll run into each other. Did he respond? Yeah, he goes, "It was nice meeting you too. " Yeah?

Yeah. " That wasn't hard at all. I was kind of an asshole. I mean, yes, but that wasn't hard.

Yeah, I know. So what else is new? Like... Right, but I don't know, it just, it didn't sit right with me when I left.

You grew a conscience all of a sudden. Yeah, all of a sudden, yeah. Well, I just, I mean, the first time I met him, I mean, if I, you know, if it was law, I wouldn't have apologized. I don't know if I gave him shit.

Really? I don't remember. Yeah, we're a different level. He's my friend.

I don't remember who the rep was, but they'll remember. They came in, and this was back when Jason Louie was running Drew Estate. A long time ago. Yeah, and he was one of our, he would always come in, right?

And we didn't, and we had more downtime back then. " right and i want you to fuck with him so he did he gave him a hard time about cigars gave him all the stuff for about 15 20 solid minutes and you could tell that the guy started to get uncomfortable and eventually we let him in on him that we were uh you know oh no he's just another rep so uh whatever it's just it's all in fun oh i know yeah i'm sure we scarred that guy for life i don't even know i don't know stayed for quite a while yeah he was good to hang uh him and um Edka knew each other, and they were sitting there. Yeah, you didn't say anything that was intense, you know what I mean? You didn't say anything that was inappropriate, you were just being funny.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right.

All right. All right. Scores, gentlemen? You want me to go first?

One second, one fifty one. Oh, uh, sure. This is the one from the music. Oh, wait, I haven't had this.

I've had the regular, was it Wine Gold Band? I don't know. I don't know. Yes.

89. Um, yeah, that's a good number. I don't think it's going to get a 90, so it's definitely going to be in the 80s, but it's going to be high 80s, so I'm going to go 87. And you said 89.

Okay, the country of origin is Honduras. Factory is Tabacos de Oriente. That means they have Chinese people working their boots. Wrappers Honduras, Binders Honduras, Fillers Honduras, it's a 5x50 round cigar, and they smoked one because it's a Redux.

88. 87. Clue number one. The cigar burned flawlessly from start to finish with fantastic construction, solid draw, and zero issues, always a win, especially over a long one hour and 45 minute smoke.

I'm a 90. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Turn on the brain, go, mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Oh, he didn't turn the motor on.

Yeah. Clue number two. Trouble. The transition from charcoal smokiness to driven terrier, terror, driven earth, pepper, subtle green apple, and finishing warm nuttiness kept the experience dynamic.

The final third especially delivered a richer, fuller expression without losing balance. 91. Wait, hold on a second. Everything in there other than the apple was like putting your mouth to the ground and tasting it.

Yes. Like, how does that a good cigar? Because it's got a nice earthy tone. Undearned cigars are, generally speaking, kind of earthy anyway.

All right, turn on the brain. There it is. I heard it. Oh, I heard it, too.

I'm sticking, 88. He's got a slow start. He slid it in there. 88.

Third clue, the cigar opens strong, but dials back from medium plus to medium in the first half. Oh. And the finish leans thin and dry at times. Oh.

It builds again later, but the early drop-off slightly disrupts the momentum. Oh. It's an up-and-down ride, gentlemen. It's smoking up and down.

89. 88. Final thought. Given the original score of Placencia Conceca 151, La Musica, I was particularly diligent in not looking at my notes from that review until after I smoked the Redux Cigar.

So does that mean they go back and check their notes then when they do the Reduxes? I guess. As while I remember enjoying it, I didn't want to prime my mind with exactly why. After two years in the humidor, the cigar is still dynamic and full of transitions, including plenty of the refined flavor that makes Honduran tobaccos shine when grown, processed and rested as it needs to be, needs to unlock the best it has to offer.

While it's tough to compare a single cigar to three smoked two years prior, there are still some consistencies. The progression of flavor is largely similar, though some of the swings now seem a bit more pronounced than my notes would suggest. They did originally. He just said he didn't check his notes.

Now he just said he says his notes. Oh, he didn't check his notes before he smoked it. Ah, I gotcha. Mmm.

The construction remains fantastic and the overall experience continues to be on par with what the cigars originally offered. This is a solid reminder that the Plasencia Coseca 151 is an absolutely fantastic line and one that should be smoked at any opportunity. Wow. He loved it.

He, yeah, he's like, up down. This is the best earthy dirt cigar I've ever had. I want to find the review of the cigar called Dirt, see what he says. Yeah, they were, natural made one.

I know, I understand it. Hated it, loved it. 89. 88.

You went the wrong way. I knew it. 93. It got a 90?

93. 93, he loved it. Oh my. I knew I was safe at 89.

Pretty good bet. Yeah, because I knew he wasn't going to go above it. God, that's horrible. I win again.

Na-na-na-na-boo-boo. Na-na-na-na-na-na. Anything else to add? On the 25th, I'll be at Northport Cigars in Northport, Florida.

From 1 to 5, I believe. In the end, it's an afternoon thing. I'll probably be there later. Excellent.

Because I'd rather be there until like 7 or 8. Yeah. But he wants me there at 1:00. He has a big afternoon crowd on that day, he said so.

So you'll be there from 1:00 to 8:00? I'm not gonna promise that just in case something happens, but like at Island Gym the other day, people were coming in and I was still selling cigars so I stayed longer. Oh, nice. But you're gonna be there from 1:00 to what?

1:00 to 5:00 is the scheduled time. Okay. All right, cool. Yeah, if they're buying, I'm staying.

Make sure you like and subscribe. Comment below. com. Hey, if you're from Brass Horse Cigars, you emailed me and I entered you back, if you would reach back out again, that would be nice.

Thank you. Oh, look at that on the podcast. Maybe that's where you heard about it. I don't know.

I mean, you give out my email address every time. There you go. All right. Thanks, everybody.

All right, guys. Bye. The End.

Show Notes

On Todays show more Bad Bunny Superbowl news, The Winter Olympics is getting harder,  Careful at Olive Garden with fried food!  And  in cigars we have some new cigars and then an updated information on a popular story!  Then we end with a what’s the score!  But before we get started