ACHP Episode 485 How To Beat Travel Delays

Transcript

Mike Palmer: Welcome to the Cigar Hustler Podcast episode 485. I'm Mike Palmer, your host, and with me today in engineering, it's Phil, new gear, less button-pushing McGuffey. Hola! It's actually more button-pushing.

Not the other day when he did it the first time. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's true. Oh, put it on on three, I don't have to put the button no more.

Yeah, if I just said the three talking, I'm fine, I'll go take a nap. And then my co-host, Mikey, I really need some candy, Shtepankiewicz. Why do I need candy? I don't need candy.

You gave it up for Lent. I did. It hasn't happened yet, right? It's an Easter.

It's true. I'm gonna let you know on a little secret, though. You're still eating candy. I think I already told you this.

The Lord knows. No, no. Sundays, you're allowed to. What?

I don't really think that's accurate. Google it. Did they tell you that at church? People who are more respected than me in the Catholic Church have explained this to me.

Maybe they all just like to cheat a little bit. No, you know what? Listen. That explains a lot.

I even took a leap of faith and said it to somebody. I go Google it right now. They Googled it. Maybe that's New Testament.

Maybe Old Testament. The Old Testament. Wait, wait, did you say a leap of faith? Yes.

Wow. You like that? Did you ask Father Timothy? No, it's Father Chris.

Did there used to be a Timothy? No, there was no Timothy. That was about a 50/50 chance. Yeah, I know, I had a good shot.

Who is the older gentleman who's not there anymore? Charlie. Charlie, that's the one I was thinking of. Father Charlie.

I met Charlie. Charlie's the one I met at the one time you took us. At the whole... Yeah, the thing.

The christening. No, no. Baptism. No, no.

No, no, the, the, the, the, I don't know, the, the. What did we do? The Money Razor where you invited us all to sit at your table. The Money Razor?

Yeah. Oh, the charity. The Oxygen. The Oxygen.

Yeah. The charity thing. Yeah. Right.

You introduced me to him that day. He's not, I introduced, there's no way I introduced you to Father Charlie. Yeah, well maybe your wife did, somebody did, because I shook the man's hand, somebody. No, Father Charlie didn't really speak to me at all.

Father Chris is, no, I haven't really talked about it. You need to ask him about the candy. No, I don't. Oh, because he doesn't want to tell on himself and he gets in trouble.

Google it. Like, what do you want from me? Google it right now. I'll wait.

There's other things we can do. We'll do it later. It's not that important. Sorry, I brought up the candy.

Yeah, now because you ate candy on Sundays, Father Christopher, or whatever his name is, he says you must kneel and stand double time. Double time kneeling and standing? When they stand, you kneel. When they kneel, you stand.

Just so everybody knows, you ate the candy. That I broke my lint? Yes. Oh, he's in trouble.

Oh, he's in trouble. He's doing everything backwards. I googled it. I gotta tell you.

I mean, we were at the, we were at like a volleyball game yesterday, like the... Wait, a new sport? Well, Jax is in volleyball, but this is like the girls, they're way better than the boys. Why is this the first time we're ever hearing of this?

Yeah, that there's a new sport you're doing. Yeah. I wasn't, I'm not coaching this. Well, he said that about basketball, too.

What's that? At one time. Are you the score taker yet? Score keeper?

That's how they suck you in. Did I tell you this? Nope. Nope.

So all of Jax's volleyball games have all been like at times when I'm doing basketball or something else so I can't attend. Okay. There was finally a game where I could attend. Right.

" Say? " Well, you get to call it in and out and stuff like that. Okay, well, like that's a huge mistake to make me do this because I'm like, "Okay, whatever. " So I sit down, or I get my line, my thing.

Your flag? Right, right, right. Did they give you a vest? No, no vest.

Hat? Nope, no hat. Whistle? Not even a whistle.

Just a flag. And we're at one of these schools, and the ceiling's kind of low, right? And I'm hearing our kids, you know, they're copping at you, they're crashing out. " low i was like so hit the ball lower like this is what i'm saying as a line judge i'm like dude we're not going to fix the ceiling today like well you got to deal with it and then all of a sudden they go like well i'm not allowed to talk like maybe you guys who shushed you the kids or the officials the officials oh my god the head officials like maybe because he's an official like maybe you guys should tell me these things before you hand me a flag and stick me in the Well, they know you run all the other sports for the school.

They figured you knew. Well, oh yeah, they figured I knew. They didn't know you were coach of the year. I don't, yeah, exactly.

They don't, they, and they don't know that I don't, like, I'm not going to speak to kids and try and correct them and tell them to stop crying like a bunch of babies. That's true. They should have known that, too. Yeah, just saying.

Well, apparently the line judge is not allowed to speak. Apparently not. Apparently not. Well, it's only a couple days away from you becoming a coach, so.

And then you can talk to them all you want. That's not happening. That's what you said about basketball. I'm just keeping score I'm not going to coach Jack doesn't want to do volleyball He's done Maybe Teddy wants to do volleyball I'm not coaching If Teddy wanted to do volleyball But that's like six years away We didn't say when it would happen But it will happen In today's show We've got some tribal nightmares As DHS shuts down Do you have a Ford?

I hope not Have you driven a Ford lately? 5 million. Really? Really?

Yep. And then in cigars, Eladio's back in the news, Iowa is on the right track, and we can all get vapes and be legal. Oh, God. Oh, good.

Then we have a what's the score, but before we get started, Mikey, how do we get some of that CHPod swag, what are the comments, and how do they make an appointment? You're not getting so long. A lot of things now. A lot of things.

Well, the appointment thing is just temporary. Well, yeah, yeah. Well, till April. Yeah.

Right. com. Not for the appointment. This is the swag part.

079 from Greatness. I think there's five left. Five, only five. Five remain.

Buy one, get the second one, 40% off. Spend $100 more and get free shipping. Getting into Calendly appointments. PCA is upon us.

It's April 18th through 20th, and if you're a retailer and you already carry Bosania products, you want to know what's going on, you want to stay in the know, see what's going to happen, what the next blend is, it's going to be a good one, click the Calendly link below and set an appointment. Since you're going to devote some time and energy does, we want to give you a winged hussars hat. Now, if you're a retailer and you're trying to figure out, "Hey, what's next? What's next for me?

" Look no further. We are Half Wheel's number two Cigar of the Year, and number one you can't get. Number one you can't get. I don't think you can get number three either.

And you can't get number three either. So we're the number one cigar you can still buy. So, de facto, we're the interim champion of Half Wheel's Cigar of the Year. We're the volleyball line judge of the cigar industry.

Yes, yeah, volleyball line judge. So, what you want to do is hit that county link below, set an appointment, and same scenario for you, for 15 minutes of your time, we're going to give you a hat, we're going to talk about it, we're going to have some strategies so that you can educate your customers and get them great cigars and make more money. You like to make more money, you want to make more money? I would love to make money.

Yeah, yeah, you make money. Okay. You make plenty of money. I make money.

You make so much money. There's a brand new car outside that says you make money. That's not what it says. It says I'm back in debt again.

As soon as you get caught up, something else happens and you gotta spend money. Now, if you're a media guy, and you want to book an appointment with us to do an interview, there's also a Calendly link for you. Oh, I just clicked it. So hit Postana Media, you're not a media guy.

Oh, that's hurtful. Technically he is. We're just bad for the industry. Yeah.

Click the Calendly link below. We're gonna give you a hat as well. Same scenario, there's a ton of options that you can cover, and we're grateful that you covered us at PCA. Now, what is going to be funny, and this is kind of a light topic that we're going to have to progress into, is, it's going to wait until the end of April, but I'm going to set the premise now.

Number one, there's, Cigar Media is kind of pushing back as far as, hey, look, manufacturers and brand owners, they're not all doing press releases, right? I don't mean to interrupt, but here you are. I know, but I have a question. Are people cutting back on press releases?

Is it becoming a thing nobody's doing? Or are they just complaining that not enough brands do it? Well, here I am. I can just finish my sentences for you, and you'll have an answer.

Mikey, you continue, please. So, Cigar Media is having some pushback on the fact that they're not getting press releases. However, a lot of these brands and these manufacturers, what they're doing is they are releasing the information to retailers first and foremost. So media is getting a little bit upset about that.

Now, if they were releasing things on their own, they're saying, "Hey, this is our new cigar," that's one thing. But by informing a retailer and then that retailer then promoting the product before media has even got an opportunity, a lot of media people are upset about, right? Now, I'm simply going to state one thing here: we're a brand owner, we're a retailer, we're a media outlet, right? We go ahead and we give press releases first, we announce it on our social media platforms, and then we inform retailers as well, right?

Pretty much in that order. Not only do we do that, not only do we do the right thing, we also request appointments for, like, it's spot on for you, every 10, like, I don't know, I just, I don't get it. Lots of scammers. Not only -- just take the watch off -- not only do we do all those things, but we also ask to set appointments for PCA if you're a media person and you want to cover us, and not only do we do that, but we're going to give them something for free for coming and stop by and covering us.

A sweet hat. I guarantee you, some of these media guys that are complaining about the lack of effort from brand owners and manufacturers, some of them will still skip it. Yeah, like... Oh, sure.

Someone that rhymes... No, no, no, no. Oh, sorry. Shut up.

Yeah, I don't want to edit no more of your bleeps. Some of them will still skip us. And that's going to be the irony in all this. But we'll wait and see until after PCA, because I'm going to tell you, we're going to name names at that point.

Like, here are the people that are complaining, and here are the people that did not commit to those interviews, and they felt that we weren't qualified. But they're going to bitch about it anyways. Oh, that's when I don't get bleeped out. No, then you could say, you think, this guy, you think, why didn't this guy do it, why didn't this guy do it, and then we could break it all down.

The number two cigar, why would you not cover that person? Yeah, well, here's a better one for you. If Polstania made your top 25 list, or even your top 10, and you didn't cover us at PCA, probably a problem. Right.

Right? Yeah, no, yeah, you're right. That wouldn't make much sense. No.

Okay, so again, I don't want to get ahead of myself. It could be, it's to be determined. But that's kind of where I'm at. You be the line judge.

I'll be the line judge. But I'm speaking. Nice. But I'm speaking.

Okay, now, we had some, we did have some, we did, what, just the what? Just not to the children. You can't tell the children to be quiet. Just don't, yeah, just don't, don't correct them.

I'm like, why are you crying? I think you've done them. Let's see, I got to add unrespondent. You're the dum-dum guy.

But he brought dum-dums. Guns, gear, and smokes ask a great question. What is your most rewarding experience you have had in the industry? Either rewarding for someone doing something for you, or something you did for someone else that changed your outlook.

I'm assuming this is for you. It's not for me. These are supposed to be comments, not questions. It's not his show.

That's a good question. Just tell them when you met me. Yeah, it's when I met Palmer. You know what, here's what I'm gonna tell you.

Here's what I'm gonna tell you. " Oh, wow. Here's what I'm gonna tell you. One of the most rewarding things for me is being acknowledged by peers in the industry.

People that I respect, and a lot of them are willing to work with us. And, like, you know, you just have good down-to-earth conversations that aren't, uh, what's the word I'm looking for, they're not, they're legit, they're not, you know, they're down-to-earth, so. They become regular people, they're not putting on their persona that they give the, uh, the general public. Correct, correct, correct.

Like you said, Matt Booth doesn't actually show you it. Uh, I don't know if we can say that word. I mean, I'm not naming names, but-- Don't check the box. Yeah, I don't want to have checking the box.

We got a TikTok warning too, apparently, so there's certain things we can't do anymore. As far as like something good that I've done that changed my outlook, my outlook has never really changed, and I'm going to tell you that I've done a handful of good things in this industry for people, and I don't think that it, I don't want to dilute them by talking about them, to be fair. Oh, then me too. You too?

He's just saying that so he doesn't have to say anything. Oh, so, okay, so you're just being an idiot. But I'm being honest. Easy idiot, that's not my job on this show.

Wow. Don't trickle down this. You know what I mean? Like, I don't want to say, hey, I did, like, here's something good that I did.

I don't, I just, that doesn't feel appropriate to me. Like, I did something good because I wanted to do something good. I'm not going to do something good because I want to talk about it later. Right.

Yeah, that came up on the show on Chi-Town Cigars, they were talking about how humble you are. Oh, really? Oh, that's so nice. Chi-Town's awesome.

It was a good show, I had a good time. I gotta watch that, I gotta watch the episode. Highest rated live show they've ever done. Really?

You're a big deal. Apparently. Yeah. I told you.

Did you mention Boots? No. Well, I told you, they like how we do the switchy-switchy. Oh.

So you're the switchy-switchy guy. Oh, okay. That's as close as you're getting. Well, you didn't say my name.

I gave you credit. No, no, I didn't say it. Phil McGuffey. I told you, you're up there, Carlito.

C. Newman, then me. I understand. You're right up there.

C. Newman a real person? Yeah. Well, Bobby.

That's what he meant. C. might be his father. That's what he meant.

Gerald Carter. C. Gaur had a lot of comments. Gerald Carter Newman.

Gerald with a J. Likes to be called J. What's weird is sometimes, like, TX Cigar had a lot of comments, but I'm only seeing one of them right now. Maybe they were on shorts.

Oh, this is the one I wanted to cover. TX_Southpaw said, "Mike busting Carney's balls about walking workouts, walking sticks, and his moderately cool plunges. " Like, yes. Yeah, I'm gonna break some stuff.

You know what I mean? Like, that just kind of is what it is, but I'm not going to be not physical, you know, if you think me popping calves playing football is you should see me in the weight room, it's wild, right, so, and there are tons of injuries that you gotta, yes, it's part of life, it's called living, right, if Carney wants to be in like this, this realm of just, I'm going to walk with the sticks and he's younger than me, bro, I don't know, and he gets younger than you, yeah, and he gets younger than you, yeah, and he If he gets into a cool plunge, that's his choice, that's what he wants to do. Cool plunge. Yeah, it's not a cool plunge, it's a cool plunge.

And those things are healthy, those things are good for you, that's just not how it's used to live. He's using walking sticks? Yes. Did he talk to Mickey Pegg?

What? Will they go on hikes together? Mickey Pegg has started talking on social media again, by the way. Oh, he's back?

Yeah, I saw that. He's like, oh, it's PCA. He's coming in and out of the people's stuff. I should circle back.

Oh, maybe. I don't know if he's going to be there. - Who's gonna take my confession box? - Probably not.

- Who's gonna take your confession box? - He has a confession box. - Yeah, right, where would he go? - Mickey Pegg has a confession box?

- Yeah, you didn't see it at the PCA with McAllen? - Oh, that's right, 'cause he did all those religious symbol-looking cigars, so he had a confessional at the last time. - Did he really? - Yeah.

- I don't remember if it was Vegas or if it was last year, 'cause last year he might not have been. - Last year he wasn't there. - Yeah, so it was the Vegas one the year before. - The one I went to, yeah, Vegas.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the one he went to where he walked around to pick up orders for you and-- Still samples, yeah. Still samples. Wow.

Yep, that's the one. That was the one. They're not still saying it. And it's the last one.

They ditched us to go eat steak with Skip. Yeah, I'm out of here, guys. I like steak. I'm going with Skip.

Cheeseburger. I'm going. Wow. I'm going with Texas steak.

That's what we said. Wow, that's what we said. That's what we said. Unbelievable.

Unbelievable. Okay, all right, you ready? You brought the third order for him back. It was a little bit...

Hey, uh... Hey, I just got some cigars. They told me you would order. They told me you wanted to take this.

I'm like, I don't want this. I don't want this. Well, she was really cute. No, I don't care.

I don't care. It doesn't help at all. It doesn't help. That doesn't make it okay.

That's actually the opposite of what you should say to help with this order. You're going the wrong direction. It's getting worse for you. This is all insider stuff that we find funny, and I apologize if you don't.

Right. Oh, I have a question. Are the hats going to be available to regular Joe's eventually? That's a great question.

I was asked that today. Yeah, I saw that. I saw that on Facebook. I don't know.

Maybe. That's what I said. We're working on that, I'm not sure, yeah. You know, it's a...

It's super vague, we're working on that. Like, I don't know, like, what do you do? Well, it's not a yes or no, I mean, I guess, does it depend if we have some left or... No, I don't even, if you have some left, what do you do?

Can you use that for a promo, for events, you know, or do you sell it just on CHPod? I don't, like, I honestly don't have an answer. We, you know, we have a hundred of them made. Right.

We'll see how many are left, you know, as of right now, this is filling up, so, and it's not even March 15th, we're what day do we do? Right, we're still more than 30 days out. Yeah, it's March of, yeah. Oh, just a quick update, the satellite has still not come down yet.

No? No. Or it came in overnight and they don't know where it went. That's the two options.

That sounds more logical. It does, doesn't it? Yeah. It was a 24-hour window.

We don't know what happened. Well, we don't, yeah, overnight we lost it and don't know where it went. And what it did was it took out a small town that doesn't have internet and they're like we can just cover this up real quick, real quick. We have no idea what happened.

Where did it hit? Oh, I don't know. We're still waiting. There was a meeting with a bunch of people in it.

Yeah, 49 guys just got taken out by a satellite. Somebody called us retarded, by the way, on our Instagram and that we should blur our faces out when we're We're talking about gravity. And why would we blur? Oh, that's still going.

Oh my God, dude, you have no idea. I went to that last night, too. Dude, it's wild. Every time I open up my phone, I check Instagram, there's at least another 20 comments.

Ooh, is it getting close to 3 million? No, it's slowing down. 5 or something like that. Almost.

You know? How many people are on Instagram? I don't know. Instagram was down last night.

We're not covering that story because things are going down every day now, apparently. Right. Everything's down. Everything's going down.

Well, it's because of the satellite and they can't find it. Oh, it could have been the Instagram satellite. There you go. Or maybe hit the Instagram building.

Oh, hit the Instagram flex? Could be, I guess. Alright, now the news. It's a travel nightmare out there, Mikey.

Across the USA, airports across the USA is urging travelers to leave three to four hours before your flight. Because of TSA? Well, Department of Homeland Security is shut down now because of no money. Oh, we're back there again?

Yeah, we're back there again. How did we get there? Because there's no money. We don't want to do it?

What is this, like a six-month contract now? I don't know. It's always about the budget. Yeah, I don't know.

Are they just doing the daily thing on the budget? Today it's okay. Tomorrow? Nope.

Shut it down. Not so much. Yeah. So TSA staffing is down because Department of Homeland Security is down.

TSA works for them. Nobody get paid. Nobody want to work. I mean, the last part of that sounds normal.

Nobody want to work. Nobody want to work, and you're not getting paid. Yeah, not that part, but the last, last part. Can you imagine it, Orlando?

I mean, it's always a nightmare there anyway. I don't, I look, man, you know. And your pre-check thing has been shut down for months. What?

Yeah. Why? Oh, he didn't know this. This is great.

Pre-check has been closed, too? Yeah. Pre-check was closed last month because-- I still have clear. That's true, there's a private company.

That's right. Excuse me, heathens, as I pass. It's not as exclusive as it used to be. Well, it matters now.

Pre-check is a problem. Right? Right? I thought they weren't even checking you anymore.

Like, do they take the shoes off? It's a free-for-all now? I got news for you. We took out this country called Iran.

We leveled it. We hit a bunch of people in there. Yeah. You remember that?

But if somebody comes in in a big robe, you kind of push them off to the side. I saw a Southwest clip. Yeah. A person on Southwest Airlines.

And, of course, the highlight says something like a bomber, attempted bombing stopped or whatever on a plane, and I'm like, I don't know if that's accurate. That doesn't make too much. Southwest is having a whole lot of different problems. So they picked this guy up, like everybody, like the, somebody announced hands up, heads down, and like, they kept repeating it, which was kind of creepy.

Oh, we're about to play seven up. It sounds like what they say when the plane's gonna crash, hands up, head down, hands up, head down. So, like, somebody put their phone up, and they just did that, and, you know. Wait, is that what they say when the plane's about to crash?

I don't know. Uh, if you, the, who was the guy that landed on the Potomac? Um, the what? Oh, uh, in New York?

Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay, what in the Potomac? The Hudson? The Hudson, it was with the Hudson.

Yeah. Yeah, they, if you saw the movie, the story just keep repeating, uh, head down, something, head down, hands up, or something, because you're supposed to do this on the chair. Really? In front of you, yeah.

- So they keep saying that over and over and over until-- - Put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye. - Oh, well, yeah, exactly. - Well, unless Sully Southerton or whatever his name was is flying, then you're fine, you just gotta swim. - Right, so this guy, they pull them off the plane, and I'm like, there's no way that it was-- - Off the plane or out of line in security?

- Off the plane. - Oh, so we got that far. - Yeah, but you don't know what the details are. - Sure, sure.

- But it's funny how social media instantly takes it and is like, you know, bombing stopped on plane, like, wait a second. You don't know anything about why this guy was pulled. - Yeah, you don't know what happened. - You know?

- What did it look like? - In Southwest-- - You know exactly what it looked like. - Southwest stopped doing the general seating, and they went to assign seats, and everybody complained, so now they're back to half and half or something. - Oh, it's 50 mixy mixy and 50 commit?

- Which one do you prefer, sir? Would you like to just look, or do you want a seat? - Do you think Southwest is the one that someone would focus on for doing awful things, too? Well, it's the cheapest flight.

So, I mean, you still have to buy the ticket. No, it's not Frontier. Frontier is the cheapest. Is Frontier cheaper than Southwest?

Oh, my God, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but their planes are smaller and they go to weird cities that nobody gets enough. They don't carry enough fuel.

Frontier, you're lucky if you get a chair. They're only half full. Right. They go to, like, Milwaukee, you know.

Who cares? Milwaukee? They don't go to, like, Los Angeles or, you know, Detroit. Yeah.

I think Frontier flies Orlando to Las Vegas. Direct. They do, because we took it that one time. Oh, that's right.

And I would not take it. I would not take it. I was like, I'm not getting on that plane. Like, I will, I will change flights in Texas.

Ah, it's fine. An airline's an airline. Is that the one where the lady screamed in the back? Yes, it was the one where the lady screamed.

It got bummy, like, ah! We're gonna die! We're gonna die! You're premature, lady.

Yeah, we're not dead yet. Uh, there's some airlines now, if you don't wear headphones, you get banned for life off the plane, too. Headphones? If you don't wear headphones?

Headphones on the plane. Like, if you go to watch a video or something or play music on your phone, you don't have headphones on? You're out. Can't fly out.

United's doing it. And I think American. Really? Yep.

What kind of heathen doesn't bring headphones and watches a movie on a plane? My wife didn't watch it. That is terrible. She does it at home all the time.

As soon as I watch the TV, she'll pop out her phone and start doing something. I'm like, are you serious? Can you see I'm watching the TV? That's totally different.

Then I turn the TV up and she turns her phone up? That's totally different. Yeah, that's a marital status. And I respect that.

I respect that tactic. The other night, she starts talking on the phone, speakerphone while I'm watching TV. I love that about her. I love that about her.

No, no, I'm not doing anything. Yeah, I'm not doing anything. You want to talk about work for 45 minutes? Let me tell you how much of a piece of shit my husband is.

Oh, you're right here. Oh, sorry. I start talking about work, so I just turned the TV off and left the room. Wait, there's a new volleyball line judge?

There's a new volleyball line judge? She won. You know, I hear you talk to kids. Yeah.

" I'm like, "I don't care. " I'm going to bed. I'm going to bed. - I'm done now.

- What were you watching? - I don't even remember. - Who cares? - Yeah, see, so why does it matter?

- Because it was important at the moment. I don't get a lot of TV time at night. - You're up till one o'clock in the morning. - I don't watch, no, I get up at three.

I'm not up till one. m. where I shoot out a text and I get a response around five. - Yeah, I go to bed pretty early.

- Yeah. - Yeah. - So. - Oh, I try to wait till like seven.

I know you're up by seven. - Definitely, yeah. Definitely, yeah. But like, getting back to this.

Wait, your sleeping schedule is based around when Mikey wakes up again? That's correct. No, no, it's where I answered the text message. 'Cause he'll text it, doesn't matter what time it is, he'll text it, like I said, anywhere from nine till he goes to bed at midnight.

Yeah. Sometimes it says on Facebook you're up at three o'clock in the morning. It's true, I am. I don't know what to tell you.

Look, here's the reality. If there's something going on, I'm the guy to call at night. You're like, oh, I need help, and you got to make the one phone call, you got a 90% chance of me answering the phone, no matter what time it is. We know, we've called him drunk before when we used to go out drinking.

And I'm like, what? What? You're not going to be rude. We're FaceTiming him.

Hey, look it up! Woo! I was like, oh my God, yeah. You should be here!

You're missing out! You're missing out! Then he hangs up and we call you back. Oh, he hung up.

Who'd you call? Yeah. And that's the 10%. That's where the 10% comes in where I don't answer.

Yeah, if he didn't answer, then we'd call Greg. Yeah. I answered the one. Greg's drunk, he doesn't answer the one.

I answered the one, I knew everybody was fine, I'm like, I'm hanging up. I'm not, I'm not, no. I'm not partaking. So, but no, listen, if you get on a plane, how do you, I don't understand how you even watch a show without headphones.

She said, the grouchy old man next to me got mad at me because I was watching a video without headphones. Well, as soon as this happens, I'm like, thanks, I'm kicking you off the plane, honey. S. over here?

Can you believe this grumpy old man? If I'm wearing headphones, what happens when they say "Heads Up 7-Up"? You're doomed. Well, you gotta kinda pay attention to the crowd.

They'll have to tap you. They'll have to tap you on the show. I just wait for the guy with the towel to come down the aisle. The guy with the towel.

Oh, God, this is where I take my headphones off, huh? You're still racist. You are a very racist towel. The only thing you didn't say was on his head.

Look, you know, I had stopped there, you know, I didn't want to say that. Listen, the flight attendant has to note- How are we not kicked off the air somewhere? I need you guys to- Paul and I ran, we're kicked out the air. Listen, come back, come back to me, come back to the conversation, both of you.

Back to the TSA. You know, look, I wait till the flight attendant notifies me to put my chair back up. This is when you freak out. Because I got headphones on, right?

Well, to be fair, you have headphones on, you have a massage eye mask on. Yeah. You have your hoodie pulled up over the headphones, and the eye mask, so they think you're dead. They're really checking for signs of life.

I'm trying to minimize contact. And it's true. Everybody usually leaves me alone. I also have the pillow that ties me to the chair.

Oh, that's right. The pillow. Don't forget about that. That's right.

The empty bag of beef jerky on the ground. He has quite the set of equipment he needs to fly. Thank God we drive to New Orleans. Yeah, you'll drive all the way again.

- You drove the whole time last time? - He drives the majority of the time. I drove the second most, Greg drove, and we all got scared and told him he couldn't drive anymore. - That sounds about right.

- I'm gonna tell you a story. Dude, when we used to live in South Florida, we would drive to Halloween Horror Nights, and it's about a four hour drive, three and a half hours, four hours, right? And so we drove up and we decided, we were young and stupid, now I'm just old and stupid. And we're like, hey, we're gonna do Halloween Horror Nights, then come two o'clock in the morning, we're gonna drive home, because we're kids, right?

It's like, all right, perfect. I didn't drink, so I drive. So I'm driving, and Brittany's in the car with us, and Greg is with us, and we have a squad of like six people, and we're driving, we're driving, and I'm starting to doze, starting to doze. " Not safe.

" So Greg gets in the car, Greg's, we switch seats, Greg's in the driver's seat, and we're not five minutes down the road and all of our heads go boom and bump into something, because he dozed off- -He fell asleep right away. -within less than five minutes. " What, did you wake him up in the back to drive? No, he spoke up and said, "Oh, I got this.

I got this. " It's legit. It wasn't, it was not even five minutes on the road. So, like, that's kind of ingrained into my head.

I just want you to know, I'm going to put you to the test when we drive to Dothan. What, I'm going to drive? Yeah. I drive all the time now.

Yeah. I'm driving eight hours tomorrow. Yeah. I at least admit that I'm going to fall asleep before I get in the driver's seat.

And do you care if we take your car? We're going to take your car. To Dothan? Yeah.

I thought we were going to rent a car. I thought so, too. Okay. I don't care.

I guess we could rent a car. You really want to rent a car? Yeah, like a convertible Mustang. Yeah, why'd you get rid of that and get the other one?

Because it was a free upgrade. They said as long as you return it tomorrow, you can use it. Oh, you said it for the day. Yeah.

So now I got a compass. Right, I saw that. I got you. Yeah.

Hey, whatever, 50 bucks a day. You liked that one yesterday, didn't you? Wasn't that nice? 74 million cars.

Mm-mm. Due to the rear view camera not working. Oh, that's not good. Apparently what it does is it turns the image upside down.

Oh. That's awesome. You can be backing up all the sudden, whoop! 74 million vehicles following issues with their in-car computer screens.

The company issued two separate recall notices. The first recall occurred due to cases of the rear view mirror flipping upside down. The second was the result of the screen overheating so that the rear view camera was not functional at all. So what do they do?

They just turn the camera? Well, they give you a new one. No, yeah. You mean when you turn it upside down?

Yeah, like, hey, this one's not working, it's fixed. Just turn it over? Yeah. No, no, I think it flipped back and forth.

It's not like it was always... No, it's inconsistent. Right. Okay.

And what, they gotta replace the motherboard in the front or something? I don't know if they're replacing the cameras or the motherboard. It didn't say exactly. How does the screen overheat?

The screen overheat. It's defective. The camera or the screen? The screen inside the car.

Yeah. But when the camera's on, all of a sudden it would heat up. It's broken. It's broken, broken?

Defective. Do you have a Ford? No working. No.

I have a Hyundai. Nothing breaks. Do you see your response there? You're like, no.

You got a problem with Fords? Well, apparently not. 74 million of them are getting recalled. Have you driven a Ford lately?

Isn't that the commercial tagline? No. Unless we had a Ford last year going to PCA. No.

We had the Jeep Grand Wagoneer, which has a lot of cool buttons but is a heap of garbage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wasn't that good? Okay.

So you're not going to drive a Ford anytime soon? I don't plan on it. Why the hell are we talking about this? Because you don't even have a Ford.

74 milli don't got recalled. That's a big number. That is a big number. Would you rather talk about the food recalls?

Because everybody's sending me those now, but there's no level one. No. Okay. There was a level one, but there's an allergy level one, which really shouldn't be a level one.

Allergy level one? Yeah, it's got gluten in it, so, you know, that fake allergy that people have. They didn't tell you? The fake allergy.

It's gluten! Nobody even knows what it is. Lito Gomez is calming. Who is?

Your what? Lito Gomez Jr. Oh, put him on the air. Put him on the air.

No. You gotta hold him up to your waist. To my lapel? The second podcast he ever did.

Maybe you heard John Kearny said stuff on the page here and he wants to know what it was. No. No, he has something else for me. Oh, cigars for the show.

Nice. Our sponsorship's finally coming in. No. It's still not happening.

Sorry, I know I'm interrupting this. No, no, go ahead. We're in transition between stories. I saw the lure guy was on Down the Herve.

Oh, was he? Yeah, he was last week. Was he on or did they just talk about his cigar? No, he was on.

He was on the video screen. Oh. Lou. Lou Cross.

Lou, yeah. It's hard, on Spotify, it's hard to answer the comments sometimes because they're not commenting on our show, they're commenting on the other show. So you have to really look close. Oh, really?

Somebody answered one of them to the wrong one. I don't know, it might have been you, but I think it was a while ago. I don't really, I don't respond to Spotify. Oh, then maybe the other guys messed up and thought it was our show.

I don't know. Oh, they're responding in the comments, too? Yeah, I mean, they can see them, too. They have access to it.

They have access to it. I didn't know you could respond on Spotify. Well, it's there when I go to upload. Right.

So, I try to hit them. Yeah. com for all their latest why. Whatever they say, it doesn't even matter.

Whatever they say, whatever they say. Like, wow, that's crazy. Yeah, what you want to do is check out CHPod. CHPod.

Yeah, that's right, exactly. We don't care what they're talking about. All right, Five Guys CEO on how the chain will get it right. So they had a BOGO last month for their 40th anniversary, buy a hamburger, get a hamburger free.

Well, they underestimated how many hamburgers it was going to be. Is this a cigar or a real hamburger? Five guys CEO, five guys burgers? Oh, I'm thinking of two guys, I'm sorry.

Oh no, there's three more guys. Yeah, you got three more involved. Three more so they make hamburgers, because they have the extra guys. So the lines, it was a one-day thing, the lines in the store were over an hour long to get this free burger.

It's free burger, and then you get to the front and find out, we're out of burger. Ouch. So, to make it up, they have replanned and rescheduled, and now this week is free burger week. Buy a burger, get a burger.

Yeah, just pay $18 for the one and then... Yeah, the food's good, but it is the most expensive burger place you can go to. Oh, speaking of burgers, I had the arch. I did too.

I had the arch yesterday. We've all had the arch. 3 million, then we'll talk about the arch. Okay, so to make it up to the employees, because the guy goes, there's really the employees that are on the front line, we're very sorry, you guys took a lot of complaints, blah, blah, blah.

They gave him a free cheeseburger. 5, but they divide it up. Right. To all the ones who had to work on that day who got yelled at by a customer.

Really? It works out to about $1,000 per store. They're not a huge bonus, but still he's doing something. So they probably get what, like 80 bucks per person?

You know what, that's probably the best math I've ever heard you do in eight years of this show. I don't know how many work per day or if they overscheduled because they knew it was free burger day, but it's figure five, you know? No, it's gotta be more than that. You think so?

Because I mean, there's usually two in the back cooking, one prepping, and one working the counter. That's it, just one person working the counter? Normally, I don't know if they overscheduled for free burger day. And then you have transitions of twice throughout that day, so that's eight people?

Well, I don't know if they traded them. Who knows? I don't know what time they closed. It's probably 12 people.

Why don't they just get the computer screens and move that one guy from the counter back to the grill? I hate that. I hate that about McDonald's. No one ignores it.

I like when you get to ring yourself up or anything. I'm so much faster than most of the other employees are. Then you gotta stand there, though, and wait for your food, and they don't acknowledge it. They don't acknowledge it.

Well, you gotta stand there waiting on your food anyway. And they will ask you your number, so they give you a cup. You just start sucking down free soda. Sometimes.

You just suck down. It's not free. It's not free, buddy. I mean, it's four dollars.

Well, the refills. The refills are free. Yeah, it's all in the four dollars. Right.

So you had the arch. I had the arch yesterday. And? I liked it.

Yeah? It was huge. Oh, okay. I had to force it to get it all in.

Really? Yeah. Interesting. That sounds weird.

Are there onions on it? The crispy onions, yeah. Oh, the crispy onions, yeah, but it doesn't have like regular white onions? No.

I think mine had a white onion on it because I tasted it, but then I couldn't find one. Somebody messed up. Could be. Is it going to replace your go-to meal at McDonald's?

No, it's too big. What's your go-to meal? I usually get the chicken or the two cheeseburgers. Ah, got it.

Okay. So wait, I went down there to that one yesterday because I had, you know, I wanted to eat before I did the show. Right. Which, if they're at 7:30, that's not 6:30, that's 8:30.

We talked about it. I'm like, what is that? 30 our time? 30 should be right.

30. Central time? 30 central time. Oh.

30 our time. Yeah. Yeah, so there were a couple people in here anyway hanging out, so I went home. But I ate beforehand.

Got it. But I went to get, you know, I'd like the number four, the chicken sandwich, the crispy one. The lady goes, we're out of chicken. I went, what?

She goes, yeah, we don't have any chicken. You better be giving me a bogo in a week. Yeah, like, okay. What is this, Five Guys?

Right, I'll have the Arch then. So you moved for the Arch? I went to the Arch. 12 bucks for the combo, 11 and some change.

Okay. A little expensive. What kind of drink do you get? I got a Diet Coke.

Nobody cares. Do you do no ice? No, I don't do no ice. Stop.

I know you get more, but I like a cold drink. Stop, stop. He's hungry. He wants to hear all about it.

Did you like the Arch? I did not. You did not like the Arch? You did not.

Ooh, this is good. Now we're getting somewhere. What did you not like about the Arch? It didn't really taste like anything.

it didn't taste like anything it's like a regular i mean the meat's the same it's like nothing yeah like this like the sauce wasn't tasteful i don't know if that makes sense that's fine nothing you say makes sense what's that i enjoyed the new sauce you enjoy the new sauce but not enough to shift well because it's too big to the size you need a food you need a mini yeah it became a little bit smaller you know r like the walker junior does it uh because they had uh they had two patties and three pieces of bread is that no two patties two pieces of bread Yeah, it was just too much. It's like a, it's a Big Mac with no lettuce. Alright, so, so it had lettuce. So you're, so what's your go-to?

Uh, I like the QPC. Quarterfine with cheese. Quarterfine with cheese. I don't speak, yeah.

Yeah, it took me a minute. I had to run through it in my head. Wow, wow. I like the QPC.

Okay. And that's your go-to? That's not gonna change. No.

Okay. Because they put the right amount of ketchup on it, and onions and everything. Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah, I think in the background, I think he likes it too. I saw it too. Ken? Yeah, I saw it.

He in the background? Ken Miller? Yeah, Ken Miller. That's the legend Ken Miller.

Mr. Ken Miller. You like the QPC too? Yep, he does.

Thumbs up. Do you call it the QPC? Okay, thank you. So you don't call it the QPC?

Okay, got it. Is that who you order at the window too? I like the QPC. What's up?

It's me, Boots. Let me get the QPC. And they're like, "Hey Boots, where you been? It's Tuesday.

" We said you'd get well, Kar. We thought you were sick. Went to Arby's yesterday. You know what?

Beef and cheddar does sound good. I'm going to have to get that later. There it is. The owner of Arby's is now in the Burger Wars.

He did a video eating one of their sandwiches. And he ate the whole thing or what? He ate the whole thing. I didn't want to see one go boom.

This is a thing, huh? Yeah, because the McDonald's guy took the tiny little bite. All right, sure. Arch.

Wait, time out. So listen. You didn't say how you liked it, Mikey. Oh, yeah.

I'm right there with you. I tasted it. It was all right. It's not going to change anything for me.

Well, I mean, I liked it, but I'm not gonna order it. Hold on, hold on, I'm a DQPC. Double Quarter Piner, what do you do? Dang!

That's a lot. That's a lot of meat. So, technically, I'm just a HPC. Is that like eight patties on that?

Yeah. Jesus. Have you ever tried ordering one of the special menu items? I think there is one that has like eight patties.

Air Land and Sea burger or something like that? Is that what it's called? They've got the fish and the chicken? Yeah.

Oh, my Lord. That's a real thing? That's a real, yeah. I don't know.

Secret menu. Look at you, you know me, you all have a secret menu, and I didn't even know there's a secret menu. They all have secret menus, apparently. Yeah, Starbucks has secret menus.

If I do get something else, it is what Palmer gets, the two cheeseburger meal, but I get it with a Mac sauce. But you just get it as an appetizer on the way to dinner. No. Yeah, that's exactly how that works.

Chet got me into getting those, because then you can eat one cheeseburger in the car on the way home. Yeah. And then you still have one at home to eat with everybody. That's the strategy.

Yeah. That's what the Nuggies are for, bro. Oh, wow. Let me get a six piece to...

I only get the nuggies if I'm driving. Let me get a six piece to devour on the way home. Okay. All right.

Now that we've covered Coop, let's move forward. All right. That was Cigar News. Unless you have a video.

No video. No video again. We're 42 minutes. I did put in your...

Oh, you know, it's very hard to do the video with the three shot. What's that? Yeah. It's very hard to do the video with the three shots.

But I did get your award in for that, though. The episode where we did your award. Yeah. Yeah, so I put a little thing under you.

Oh, very nice. We're learning. Well, you know, things change, and then the standard procedures don't work anymore. Are we getting a cigar news, you said?

Yes, now we're into cigar news. You didn't cover the 83 points scored by BAM from the Miami. Oh, that's a great point. Yeah.

We don't do sports anymore. NBA history. We don't do sports anymore. Jax did not go to sleep.

We're in the Cigar News house, guys. I'm so sorry. Absolutely incredible. He passed Kobe.

He did pass Kobe, and now Kobe can't even come back and do it. Yeah, see? He should have left Kobe alone. He should have purposely missed it.

Right. Missed his balance shelf. 83 points, one guy. In one game?

Bam, yeah. Bam Adebayo. Bam Majera from... No, it's a totally different Bam.

Oh, there's more than one? Yeah. It's not a white guy that has a drug problem? No.

It's a black guy that's got a great free throw. Oh, good friend. I'm glad that you finished that sentence for me. Yeah, you got it, yeah.

He was going to do the hard R when we had problem. No, I didn't, I wasn't going to use the hard R. No cocaine like Dwight Howard? Maybe.

He's in Miami. It's NBA. He's in Miami. Like, who knows?

Miami, baby. I'm Miami, baby. Hey, Dwight, did you see what I just did? You got something for me?

Yeah. Give me some of that book of sugar. Maybe that's how it got to 83 points. Maybe.

He sure is fast. Look at that guy. He's everywhere. He's everywhere.

Maybe he had to send it back to Dwight, and Dwight was like, no, no, no, we gotta hold on. I was like, well, what am I gonna do with it? Might as well. Alright, I'll just take yours.

Right, my wife left. I can't right now. Oh my God. I can't play at this level.

Consistently, I'll have a heart attack. I hope other people enjoy the show as much as we do. Yeah. Ken does.

All right, now can you go back to Cigar News, or do you guys have some other random sports thing you guys have to talk about? Yes, please tell us the Cigar News. It's a cigar show for God's sake. Yeah.

Casa Molina releases the Grandes Maestros Por Eladio Diaz, 2025. Nice and destroyed there. Well done. Thank you.

Yeah. Casa Molina releases the Grandes Maestro Por Eladio Diaz. They have a castle? I don't see Caso in there anymore.

It sounds like you're saying Castle Molino. House of Molino. Or you're saying Casa. I said Casa.

I'm from the South. I said Queso. Queso. It's the cheese.

It's the Molino cheese. It's very good. Okay. First release is a new annual series from The House with the Cheese, blended by Eladio Diaz.

Eladio. Eladio. I was talking to somebody that knows him. I can't remember who it was.

Yeah. Yeah, no, like, have you ever had any cigars? And I go, no, but I really want his birthday cigars. Did you say that?

Yeah. And what'd they say? They go, oh yeah, they go, it's not really that good. They go, I don't care, I just want one.

Eladia, if you're watching, please send three birthday cigars. Yeah, so we could say that they're not really that good because that's what Palmer just said. Somebody else told me that, I don't remember who it was. We changed our mind.

Right. Oh, we do have to clear something up. Fred, Thor has an appointment, not you, so Thor gets the hat. Yeah.

If you wanted a hat, you have to make your own appointment. Yeah. It's one per appointment person. One per appointment.

That's right. And he's been five days with no typos, so he's very excited. Oh, really? In the magazine, yes.

Five days with no typos. That's a good running. We never make it that far. That's okay, I mean, Half Wheel's talking about 2025 releases in 2026.

Right? Did he answer you back? Yeah. You wanna know what his response was?

What? Time machine. Oh. All right.

And then his other joke that he, here, I'll tell you something else, Charlie, text me, it's pretty funny. Alright, well this cigar is a 6x52 Dominican Wrapper binder along with filler tobaccos from Dominican and the USA. Let's see if we've got a price. Yes!

What is the new Eladio cigar? - Yeah. - Boots? - It's Eladio.

- Eladio. - 25 count boxes. - 25, this is LE? - I don't know, it's Eladio.

- It's the house of the cheese, bro. - House of the cheese, come on. - 25. - That's a good number, I'll go 30.

- 19. Yes, I went. You went the wrong way. Today's a new day.

He says, Charlie says, please let me know if a media outlet shows up for their appointment, gets the hat, and leaves without asking any questions. Thinking that entity gets double points on the consensus. Thanks, Charlie. Thank you, Charlie.

Okay, what else? There's a cheese cigar coming out. There's a cheese cigar. Vinyl audio.

Havana Port Stores for a decade are offered to other retailers for the first time. - Got it. - Do we have this coming? - No.

- Do we order cigars for the shop anymore? - There's 7,000 cigars that come out every year. - And we get none of them. - I saw allusion over there.

- That's because 6,950 of them are complete ass. - Wow. - I didn't notice Laudio cigars not good. - Not willing to take it?

I've purchased some Laudio stuff in the past. We've had a Laudio upstairs. - Oh, have we? - Yeah.

What was that, Phil? - Yeah, it's the one with the A on it. The A? That's it?

Oh. No, that wasn't it. Yeah, I know. That's Aladino.

That's Aladino. That's Aladino. I saw Luz Jones up there now. Uh, they've been up there.

Have they? Yeah. Oh. Yeah, that's Alfredo.

He's a terrible rep. I mean, like, that was ordered... Has he brought M&M's lately? No, that's why I can tell him he's a terrible rep, yeah.

Well, you know, if he did, I can't eat them unless it's on Sunday. I'm sure you sneak something in. I don't. m.

Maybe that's why you're up at 3:00. That's why he's up in the middle of the night. Everybody's sleeping. You're eating the candy.

Jesus is always watching. You remember that. Even at 3am. All right, Iowa Senate passes a cigar bar bill.

Oh. We've been talking about this several weeks ago. Okay. So the House of Representatives is where it needs to be passed before it can be sent to the governor to become a law.

So the Senate has passed it, the House of Representatives has it now. It would modify the state's Smoker-Free Air Act to allow for creation of cigar bars, Places where people can smoke cigars and serve alcoholic beverages. Oh, look at that. But they have qualifications.

Of course. There's always qualifications. Gotta be north of the chiclets. So, you have to generate at least 35% of revenue from the sale of premium cigars and accessories, excluding delivery sales.

Okay. So, no online stuff. Two, have a Class C or special Class C license. I wonder how much that costs.

What is that? I don't know. I don't live in Iowa. -I thought maybe it was a standard thing.

-No. -Have a retailer permit. -Okay. -How much is that?

-In the state of Florida? -No, in Iowa. -No idea. -You know, we come to you for the industry information.

-Yeah, I couldn't tell you. -Really disappointing. -He could have lied to you and said 50 bucks. -I know, that's what I was hoping.

He would just make something out. -I think it's 175 last time we checked. -Oh, thank you very much. I appreciate you having that information.

-You're welcome. -Prohibit anyone under the age of 21 from entering your business. -That's obvious. Definitely.

Oh, okay, come on. Maintain a walk-in human order that can store at least 150 cigars. That's an interesting rule. You have to have a walk-in.

Seven boxes. Yeah, but you have to have a walk-in. You can't just have a cabinet. Right.

Place a sign at every entrance stating that smoking is allowed. That's overkill. But no one under the age of 21 is. I mean, it's going to be apparent.

That sort of took care of that with the rule before, I guess. It's going to be apparent that smoking is allowed when you approach. Right. And you see the tiny walk-in humano.

Mm-hmm. Oh, look. Do not allow smoking of any other product other than premium cigars. No vapes, no cigarettes.

Oh, I love that. No pipes, nothing else. Okay. All right.

Number eight. Do not sell any other type of cigars besides premium cigars. Define premium cigars. Right.

Does that mean bundles are out? Bundles? Yeah. If it's machine-made, it's not premium.

It's not a premium? Right. No Groovy Blues. Are you sure?

It depends on their description of premium cigars. That's my point. So what is the definition of premium cigars in Iowa? Yeah, ask the FDA, they'll get back to you on that.

We're still waiting. Well, the next story is about the FDA. Maybe they mention it. Oh, good.

Number nine, do not serve any food. That's stupid. Why? Why can't I serve food?

Then you're a restaurant. But you know it's a smoking establishment. Right. No food, no smoking.

We only serve snacks. Smoking people don't eat? Well, it classifies food. It's like a candy bar food?

Yeah. Or is it like it's a snack? This is my point. You know what, dude?

When you travel and you go to Esteli, one of the awesomest things you can do is you can go to a steakhouse, have a steak, and when you're done, sit at the table and light up a cigar. Damn right. The third world country. You could probably poop on the floor if you wanted to.

I don't think you can do that. I don't think that's frowned upon, yeah. But is it prohibited? It might be.

Frowned upon and prohibited, there's a line there. " Oh, is it? It's in Spanish though? Yeah.

Oh, as you approach? No poopo. Big sign outside. No poopo on fluoro.

No poopo on fluoro? In the cheese room? It's a picture of an octopus. Yeah.

The El Pupo. Ba-dum-pum. Alright, Preem Cigar is defined as a cigar that is wrapped in a whole leaf tobacco, and contains a 100% tobacco binder, is made manually, does not contain a filter or non-tobacco mouthpiece, and weighs more than 6 pounds per thousand. Wow.

So backwoods are premium, baby. Uh... No, I think those are machine made. Are they?

It didn't say not machine made. Yeah, it didn't say that. It says that are handmade. Matt says manually made.

Manually is hands. Well, I manually hit the button to make the cigars. Yeah, but the cigar made the button, the machine made the cigars. No, I made the button, I made the cigar because I hit the button.

That's not manually made. Yeah, it's manually made. Premium cigar definition would include handmade flavored cigars. Oh, so you can have a handmade flavored cigar.

Splishers in. Okay. So what is the fine if you're caught violating any of these nine rules? Uh, $5,000 and 30 days in jail.

Uh, Phil? It's gonna be something stupid, like 500 bucks and that's it. $1,000 for the first violation, $2,000 for the second violation within 12 months, and $5,000 for a third violation within 12 months. There you go.

You didn't say there was three violations. Well, I would have been satisfied with any of the three prices. He's as big as this story. My term violation was in those three, yours was not.

I said 500, it was close to 1,000. So it was not. 1,000 was the smallest. Yeah, manually.

I didn't go over. If they vote and decide that they're going to do it, it goes into effect immediately. Really? As soon as the governor signs it.

Well, this is interesting because, you know, you have over-taxation on one hand from a lot of these states, and then you have over-regulation of smoking being permitted. Right. And it's like, well, if you want the taxation, shouldn't you let them smoke? Like, what are we doing?

Oh yeah, and then there's none of the tax. Right. Or is the high tax supposed to be a deterrent to not smoking? We'll show 'em, we'll make 'em healthy, we're gonna charge 'em a lot of money for this.

That's what they'll tell you. Right. You know, that's what they say. That's what they say.

I can still get my QPC at any given moment. Yes. You know what I mean? No one's looking at me and saying, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you're way too fat for this.

" Well, here's the salad. Do they have salad? Is that on secret menu? No, that's gone now.

All the salads are gone at McDonald's? Yeah, it's a waste of time because nobody wanted the salad at McDonald's. Yeah, it doesn't make sense. They had to scrape all the bad lettuce off the burger to make one.

Yeah, that doesn't track at all. Really, some of those salads were good. And yet, you've never ordered one in the past 10 years. Well, they're not available.

Yeah, but when they were available, you got your little... If they were on the pretty menu when you pull up, I would have... Ooh, look at this, look at this bush. Look at that, it's nice, it's pretty.

I want that one. No, I'm gonna take-- I'm sorry sir, we're out of the lettuce. Oh, figures. Oh, perfect.

We're out of the chicken. Okay, I'll take the two cheeseburgers so I can have the one on the way home. I'll take the ice cream. No, ice cream machine's broken.

We don't have that either. Anyway, just give me what you have, please. Whatever is available, just give me one of those. Hmm.

Alright, the FDA says it will consider approving flavored vapes. Gah! Sorry. Ouch.

That's a short clip. Well, it was switched on to you when I said it. Perfect. Sorry.

I can modify that. The FDA says fruit and candy flavored vapes remain attractive to underage users, but the agency says it will consider approving vapes with flavors other than tobacco or menthol. Okay. While the new guidance doesn't directly impact the cigar industry, it shows just how much the agency's direction has changed.

It wasn't that long ago we thought they were going to outlaw cigars all together. Well, it's obnoxious, man. Even with the vapes, it's obnoxious. If people want it, then handle it.

If you've got a problem with underage doing it, then control it better as far as underage exposure to it. You can't control it. They do crack. Right, they can't stop from doing drugs.

But here's what I do. Whenever vaping comes up, in any type of conversation, I humiliate the person that vapes. I make them feel stupid, telling them they're sucking on a battery. You know, Jesus is always watching.

Yeah, Jesus, and Jesus knows that I'm doing good by stopping this person. I feel he vapes. I'm trying to help their life. Jesus is not a vapor.

I think so. No, no, he didn't say. Holy water vape. He said, Judas, take this vape.

No, I think if Jesus did anything, he was a hookah guy. He thought it was a hookah? A hookah? Yeah.

Yeah, but it's hard to carry those around. No, they didn't. Dude, he was in the middle of the desert in one area. Yeah, no, I know now, but with the second coming, he's going to be traveling.

He can't carry a hookah with him. He was in the middle of the desert. This guy can walk on water. You don't think he could carry a hookah and do all this stuff?

One time that happened. One time. One time. One time.

And it's unsubstantiated. Yeah. We can't confirm that. Maybe he didn't.

Maybe he was just shallow. Standing in a puddle. Yeah. And he had the other guy come out too.

All right. I don't want to die today. So let's stop talking about this. I don't want to die today?

I had no idea this was going to become such a religious podcast. No, exactly. Look at this. Oh, we're getting another notification from somebody.

Right. Check the box. Check the box. I don't think there's a religious box.

It's hot. Do you discuss religion? Sometimes. Sometimes.

We dabble. Oh, look, the green light's still on. Still safe. We dabble.

I used to go to the bottom and click. None of these apply. I was unaware. Right.

I mean, they say they checked the video, so I mean, you know, put the pressure on that. They have an AI on it, yeah. Right. Do your job.

Does it count as a view? I don't know what we said. Right. TikTok got mad at me.

Yeah. And I listened to the clip. I was like, yeah, that sounds terrible. I got to take, let me take that down.

Like, this is totally out of context. Oh, don't worry. Don't worry. Yeah, you want to take that?

You want to take, is that McDonald's? Another spam call? Your QPCs are ready for lunch, sir. Can you come pick them up?

Nah, it's Gingy. Do you want two QPCs or one? He's wanting to know. Hey, Phil.

It's been an hour. We're ready for you. I've told three people that we're out of QPCs. Maybe he's working there.

Yeah. All right, it's time for the industry's favorite game: What's the score? All right, our first, our only cigar today, May 7th, 2024, Charlie and Manado Cigars, Limited Edition, USA Warped Cigars, the Gellis Family Cigar, El Oso Grande Papa, 85. Do we want to let Mr.

Miller back their hand on this? Ken, do you want to play? Ken says I want no part of this. Ken says I want any part of this.

If it's bad enough they can see me behind Michael. All right. Who is it by? Charlie.

Charlie Remutin. El Oso Grand Papa. Worse than the kids. '87.

Okay, it's the El Oso Grand Papa. Country of origin, USA. Oh. USA.

Factory, El Titan de Bronze. If it was made in 2026, it'd be kicking ass, but it's not, it's 2024. It's an Ecuador and Habano, Oscuro wrapper, Nicaragua binder, Dominican filler, and Nicaragua filler, 6x50, $25 a cigar, they smoked tree, 85. You're up first.

I just did. You said 85? Yeah. I'm going down to 82.

Oh, you thought that was me making fun of your voice? Yeah. I beat him yesterday, by the way, there, Phil. Did you?

Yep. I didn't get to make my last mod. He's going down to that. He tried to cheat.

Duh, 85. That would be me making fun of you. Wow. Yeah.

Now we can't do that anymore. Unbelievable. Yeah. All right.

Comment number one. The El Oso Grandpapa delivers a bold and complex flavor profile highlighted by rich earthiness, oak, and wood tones layered with sweetness and spice. The retrohale is particularly enjoyable in bringing out notes like sunflower seeds, pistachio, So what do you think it's like? It's a great idea.

It's a great idea. I don't know if it's as delicious as this Pistani Habano. Pistani? Pistani Habano.

I'm going to stick at 82, man. There's no way. USA? All right.

I love his logic. I'm going to stick at 82, man. There's no way. USA?

All right. I love his logic. I'm going to stick at 82, man. I'm going to stick at 82, man.

There's no way. USA? All right. I love his logic.

So flawed. Clue number two. Visually, the cigar stands out with a beautiful dark brown wrapper accented by red hues, giving it an appealing and premium look. Once lit, the cigar offers a full-flavored experience with evolving notes of coffee, nuttiness, cinnamon, leather, and sweetness that create a strong and memorable profile.

Well, USA is complete shit, so I'm going to say 12. How many is that? Oh, wow. 89.

No, you said 12. No, you said Bob. Okay. The score stays.

It's like chess. Once you let go of this thing, you can't move it. Oh, okay, fine. Not like you don't have three more chances.

Man, Charlie is liking this in this pipe hole. 82. I'm gonna stick on that. Clue number three.

Sorry. Unfortunately, construction issues-- There it is. --tract from the experience. You guys are always so surprised.

We do two positives and one negative. Every day, this is the format of the game. Stop yelling at me. Unfortunately, construction issues detract from the experience as all three cigars suffered from draw problems ranging from extremely tight to overly loose.

Oh, and Charlie doesn't like to suck on a cigar harder. These issues... Sorry. These issues required frequent touch-ups and relights making the smoking experience more demanding than it should be.

83. Oh, down to me. 'Cause it's USA, you know what I mean? Yeah, '82.

Final thought. Well, I think I know what this cigar is supposed to taste like. I cannot be sure. One cigar was plugged, another had a very tight draw, and the third had a draw that was far too open.

If properly rolled, I expected the El Oso Grande Pape to be able to deliver that aggressive, woody, and earthy profile, Though perhaps with a bit more finesse than what I was able to find consistently, as I write way too often in reviews, if the cigars aren't put together properly, they aren't going to smoke properly. Well, that makes sense. That tracks. Really?

That's the case here. Final score? This is the final thought. Okay.

That was the final thought. 80. You're really making me think now 'cause I thought it was definitely going to be lower than 82. That was a good score to pick.

It's like I've played this game five days a week. But Charlie's nicer than everybody else. Okay. Is he?

Yep. All right. I'm going to go 79. He went the right way.

Yeah! Because of you! Yes! You blew it!

You blew it! Is he? Is he? Is he?

Yeah, and then he changed it. He was gonna go 81. I went 79 though, baby! And he knows it!

What's the score? He knows it! What's the score? Is he?

What's the score? Is he though? What's the score? I think he's really mean, actually.

He's such a big baby. You helped him! Two days losing. Okay, at first, I didn't help him on purpose.

But you win 90% of the time. Give the guy something. Dude. Oh, don't give me nothing.

No way. Because you Mr. Magooned him into the answer? Thank you, Mr.

Magooned. Are you kidding me? What was the score? And he even knows it.

70, it was 70. Wow, that was low. I was gonna go into the 70s. Well, then you should've.

I didn't have to because I know my opponent and he was gonna say 82. Originally? No, I'm not, I am calm. This is me being calm.

Jesus, he's Magooned again. Yeah, Jesus, he's a vapor. This is because he needs M&M's, he's gonna go home and get the M&M's. Allow him to have candy today, please sir.

Well, he's gotta eat them on the way home. Talk to your father, allow him to have candy. Make some appear in his compass out there. In my compass.

Okay, where are you gonna be? Where else are you gonna ruin my life? I don't know! Guys, let me know where else you are.

I'm going down to see my friend, or up to see my friends in Dothan, Alabama. You are? On Friday and Saturday, apparently. Yeah.

Now we're taking your car. How's that sound? I don't care. The smoke in your car.

I smoked in my car this morning. I'm gonna throw my beef jerky wrappers on the ground, apparently. No, you're not. There's a garbage can behind you.

No, no, I'm not even, nope. Just like this. Yep. Yep.

Yeah. Answer to the wife. I'm gonna take a nap. M&M wrappers.

He's gonna run around with you with playing videos and no headphones on. I'm gonna bring my football plaque. Are you? Yeah.

I like them apples. You don't have a shirt made of it yet? Jason asked if you would bring it, they'd take a picture with it. I will absolutely bring it.

What was that, Phil? He didn't make a shirt out of it? No. I haven't replicated it yet, but if you want me to, I will.

You know what? I bet you people would buy that shirt. T-Money bought a BDP shirt. Oh, nice.

I noticed on Mondays you stopped wearing yours. You want to know why? It's finally getting destroyed. Oh, not like you can make another one.

I guess I could, but then I'm pulling in the inventory. If I have your blessing, I'll do it. Go ahead. They're not selling at this moment, so.

They are selling. T-Money bought one. I just bought one. First one we've moved in a while, though.

all right i think we over we over bought on them uh that was the first shirt i think you have like three or four left is that the uh the fourth of july one or the regular the regular because that logo you could put on either one you know what dude well that's what i'm gonna do i'll take the fourth of july one maybe we bring that back yeah because if you buy one fourth of july bdp shirt you get the second one 40 off we'll do the fourth of july bdp and i'll just put it on a black tee Yeah, that's what I figured. And then I'll have a new one. And then we'll offer it to the CHPOD members. Alrighty.

Okay? Sure. Okay. Call it the Holiday BDP.

Holiday BDP. What's coming up? Spring Break? Easter.

The Easter one in an American trousers? Yeah. Isn't that when you can eat candy again? No, every Sunday I can eat candy.

Mini Easter. Mini Easter. He can eat Easter. Is there only Easter candy you can eat on Sunday?

No. You can break your Lent. You can break your fast. All right.

DJ Philly, how was that wedding? Did that wedding go off? I have it Saturday. Oh.

Are you wearing the mask? No. Would you like to borrow it? I can't believe you helped him win.

We need to get you a new mask anyway. It's April. Why are you so agitated on this? Because he's supposed to be on my side, not on your side.

Oh, it's a silly game. Get over it. No, no, no, no. I didn't do it on purpose.

Well, first of all, it's not a silly game. And number two, he did not tell me the number. It is a very popular game. All the comments now on the show I get from people are on the game.

I mean, think about this. But like, think about this. How long have we been doing this game? Oh, I have no idea.

And this guy with the extra chromosome stakes. Well, Charlie is one of the most forgiving guys. Are you out of your mind? I mean, 70 was pretty high, though.

70 was pretty high? Yeah, he couldn't taste a cigar. It was made in the USA. Yeah, all three of them.

Well, two of them were plugged and one of them was unplugged. Extremely unplugged. He actually tasted some other ones and they were like in the 50s, remember? No.

God, these were horrific. No, apparently you don't remember because he's a very high-rated person. I would say Brooks, we've ranked the stats. Brooks has the highest 91s out of the core, out of the group.

No, Charlie's the only one to ever rank a 99. One time. One time. Yeah.

One time still counts, just like bam. Scoring 83 points one time. Highest ones are in the 90s. There's more 92s, it seems, that's the highest score.

There's not like a 95 or 94 hardware. Could have been micro-dosing on that thing. Oh. You don't know?

I'm not gonna say. Could have had a good meal or something. Okay. Well, we're at 70 minutes, so let's wrap this up.

Oh, a long episode. All right, it's been episode 485 of the Cigars Podcast. Thank you very much. Thank you, and thank you, Ken, for sitting in.

Yes. Let's smell it. All right, bye-bye. All right, good-bye.

Bye, guys.

Show Notes

On Todays Show  Travel Nightmare as DHS shuts down, do you have a Ford hope not, Five Guys Shells out 1.5 Million dollars in cigars Eladio is back in the news, Iowa is on the right track and we can all get vapes and be legal!  Then we have a what’s The Score