ACHP Episode 486 Don't Share Your Waffle
Transcript
Welcome to the Cigar Hustler
podcast, episode 486.
I'm Mike Bomber, your host.
And with me today in
engineering, it's Phil.
Can we hurry this up?
I have things to do with
Mcguffey and.
Then goodbye.
And then my Co host Mikey watch
me flex as I throw the remote on
the floor.
Oh wow.
And I'm here with Mr. Mike.
I'm everybody.
Staff Palmer, that makes sense.
That's what you said in Chai
Town.
Oh, did.
Oh, you finally watched?
Well, I'm everybody's stuff.
I am everybody's stuff on
today's show.
Chuck E Cheese now handles
divorces.
Excellent.
BI warns of a drone attack.
Waffle House does not advise
sharing your waffle.
We have the location of the
crash satellite and then in
cigars, some updated stories, a
new cigar, and then finally a
What's the Score?
But before we get started and
after Mikey picks up the remote
on the ground.
No, I'm having a day bro.
I left my lighter somewhere I
don't know where.
It is very frustrated.
I'd be in the car.
See everybody's staff.
Now I have to find his lighter
when the show's over.
Tell us how to get some chapter
pod swag.
Read us all the comments and
what is the link to get the
appointments.
Thanks, Phil.
You're the best for the problem.
You're a sweet man, I know.
I don't have a lighter to throw
you.
He didn't say anything about
you.
Why are you feeling guilty over
there?
No, but he made a point to say
your name.
He never addresses you by name.
What's the problem?
What you want to do is go on
Chapter pod.com where we have
all of our latest swag, buy one,
get the 2nd 140% off and spend
$100 more in free shipping.
Make sure you like and subscribe
wherever you're viewing or
listening to this podcast.
And if you're a retailer, can
you just go to Palmer real
quick?
Go back to I want to see his
face.
He had a face.
Reading the news.
Face of anger.
I wasn't angry.
If you, if you, if you're a
retailer and you want to check
us out at PCA, hit the calendar
link below.
You're going to get a free Wing
Tzar's hat.
There's a whole spiel, but I'm
going to cut it out now because
it's the third time that I've
said it today and I'm already
agitated.
So I'm trying to walk this back.
Check out the link on Calendly.
Thank you very much for your
time.
And that's a wrap, people.
That's a great job.
Great job here today.
If you're a media member, hit
Hit the Media Calendly link.
It's been Episode 4 / 546.
We're out.
We're out by.
The Chaos Podcast.
Used all the time up on the hard
drive, we have nothing left.
Jeez dude, I'm going to tell you
this is how it started, right?
So drop the kids off.
Took the dog to the groomer.
Got hair in your shirt?
Go to get ready.
Yeah, got hair in my shirt.
Go to get ready.
Go to leave.
Can't find the keys to the car.
Couldn't find the keys.
And I'm like, what the hell did
I do with these keys?
Maybe they dropped out of the
groomer.
So I drove back to the groomer.
I looked everywhere in the
house.
Brittany's getting mad.
She's getting agitated like this
is, you know, I'm getting the
speech.
But.
You had to drive home from.
Yeah.
You drove back.
I mean, what keys did you?
Lose.
Maybe I started it and it
dropped out or something.
Maybe it was right there.
Oh, like in a parking lot.
Or maybe because the dog jumped
on me like you know what I mean.
So I, I have no idea, couldn't
figure it out.
So the trash is taken out and
she threw out an extra box.
So I bagged it because if it's
not bagged they're not going to
get it.
I start walking up.
Keys are on top of the car.
Oh.
Is it still a rental?
Yeah, it is a rental.
I put them there to put
everything in the trunk.
You're lucky.
And, well, he did it when he got
home.
No, but he drove back to the
room and he does it.
I did well in the in another
car.
Yeah.
Oh, in another car, yeah.
He couldn't have the keys.
He couldn't have started.
Yeah, so that was like 30.
I mean, I text you it was
slightly after 9.
I'm on my way.
I wonder why I was taking so.
Long Yeah, 40 minutes later is.
That tall car.
Is it?
Is there a rack on top of the
car?
No, it's a decent night, but I
you know, it's, it's got like a
little lip.
Oh, OK.
And I wasn't looking there.
It's like, you know, when you
have your keys in your hand,
like, where are my keys?
Right.
That was the life I was living
this morning.
Looking for my glasses on top of
my head.
Yeah.
So then and then I got here and
you know, audio sounds and no,
no lighter like OK, this is
going to be utter case.
Is the lighter on top of the car
maybe?
Lighter is definitely on top of
the car, without saying so.
Yeah.
So that's where I'm at right
now.
Well, perfect.
Well, here we go.
Welcome to the show.
We're going to have some video
problems here in a minute.
Prepare yourself.
Prepare yourself.
Power's going to go out.
All right, now the news.
Call it a marriage meltdown to
go.
Gary Judge Jerry Wickman, YEAH
47 and self-proclaimed legal
expert from Tampa, was arrested
Tuesday after operating an
unlicensed divorce service in
his car to Chuck E Cheese's
parking lot.
OK.
OK, can you say his name one
more time?
His name is Gary.
Judge Jerry Wickham is what he
calls himself.
Judge Jerry calls himself.
What an amazing name that is.
Well, I would imagine the Judge
Jerry part is self-proclaimed
not an actual he's.
Not a real He's not a real
judge.
Right.
No, well, no.
That you've got, that's one of
the things he's got a red
support.
Chucky gave it to him.
That's his nickname.
But he was doing a drive through
divorce court out of his Honda
Civic in the Chuck e cheese
parking lot over on Fowler Ave.
in Tampa.
So I mean if you want to go.
No, I'm good.
It's not.
Far.
I like the one I got.
I'm keeping it.
I'm just the I have the one time
track record.
You're the one that's been
married three times.
Whatever does that mean?
You've had divorce processing,
you know.
I'm older.
Than maybe you can't sustain, I
don't know.
Well, I'm obviously the problem
I mean.
You're obviously the problem.
Three times after two you're
thinking maybe it's me.
Maybe it's me.
So he would yell, Welcome to
Jerry's Justice Junction, and he
would shout through a makeshift
megaphone.
Divorce is served faster than a
5 minute pizza.
So the trouble started when
soccer mom Patricia Chen pulled
up expecting a birthday party
consultation.
Instead, she got a full custody
hearing, complete with a toy
gavel and construction paper
legal documents.
Apparently he did not wait for
you to come to him.
He would come to you when you
pulled up.
OK, that's how you know, That's
how you get.
Paid all right, so.
He asked her to split the kids
at like a pizza, she told
reporters, Then charged me $7.00
for emotional damages when I
refused.
Oh, you've got to give me $7.00
because you've hurt my feelings.
Right for emotional.
Damages.
That's amazing, right?
This guy's local.
We got to get him on the show.
Well, he's currently in jail,
unfortunately.
Well.
I mean, you know, it's only
probably a few days.
The scheme unraveled when
Wyckham accidentally scheduled 3
divorces for the same time.
Chaos erupted as confused
parents, screaming children and
Chuck E Cheese mascots collided
in a perfect storm of family.
Like, what is that?
You're an employee at Chuck E
Cheese?
Like, you're not going to
believe this.
There's a guy outside.
Guessing he went in, yeah.
So people would come from our
party consultation and he would
act like he was the party
consultant and then have them
come over and talk to him and
then he would start the legal
proceedings.
We're going to we're going to
start working on your divorce
papers.
We're working on your divorce
here.
Yes, I need 2 Blues, a pink and
a yellow piece of paper please.
Right.
But they were scheduled.
Well, these are scheduled party
planner meetings, I think.
And then he would interrupt or
he would, you know, cut them off
and take it as they walked in to
walk.
I like this because like, the
whole story doesn't really make
a lot of sense.
No it doesn't.
But this guy's obviously batshit
crazy.
Well, yes, assumably.
He obviously must be making
money because this can't be the
first thing to report to Chuck E
Cheese.
Well he swung at 7 bucks for
emotional damages.
Like how?
Much starting out at that so.
How much money do you really
think he's making?
I don't know.
So the Chuck E Cheese like that,
he he got to be making some of
my cons sit in the parking.
Lot.
I don't think it even covered
bail.
Oh, maybe Bill was set at $7.00.
She didn't say she paid him.
He charged her, right?
So I mean, I would assume he
made no money.
It's not like you go, OK, here's
the seven dollars.
File a lien against her.
Oh, right now I need an orange.
Please now.
I need an orange.
If you were going to do a
makeshift divorce area and you
wanted to claim yourself as a
judge, would you pick Chuck E
Cheese?
Well, yeah, because a lot of
families go there.
But they usually have.
You got to the odds are better
you're going to get married
people there because they come
there with children and that
usually means marriage, right?
Traditionally speaking.
That's your strategy, huh I.
Mean if you go and sit out in
front of like Dick's Sporting
Goods, you might get a lot of
single men.
Not, as you know, not as
optimal.
Not as lucrative, right?
OK, what about you?
Where would you go if you were
some psychopath that decided to
write divorces for people there,
Phil?
I don't know, maybe like a
cruise ship parking lot A.
Cruise ship parking lot.
That's not better.
You get them as they getting
off.
Yeah, hey, did you have a good
trip?
No.
Fuck that guy.
OK, sign this.
Did your husband hit on anybody
on the.
Ship Now wait a second.
Hold on.
This is very interesting because
you recently went on a cruise.
Oh, I saw a lot of people.
You saw a lot of people.
Yeah, people watched.
Yeah, yeah.
And whether did did sorry, did
fights ensue or something?
Or the drunk people arguing.
Oh yeah, especially like in the
casino.
Marital Couples.
Yeah, 'cause like, it was funny.
Like I was sitting next to this
one lady one time at the
roulette table and she, you
know, she had a full stack of
chips, like, I don't know,
probably 800 bucks, let's just
say, OK, right.
And then there was this other
guy to the left to me, and I
didn't know that they were
together.
I thought they were, you know,
just other people on the table,
right?
So then she started to lose and
he was yelling at her and I'm
like, there has to be a
relationship, right?
Involved in this whole thing
because why the hell would this
dude be yelling at this lady,
right?
And then finally she lost all
her chips and he's like, why
don't you just go back to the
room?
And she's like, you know what?
How about I'm not going to be
there when you get back?
Wow.
I'm like, oh this escalate
really.
Good.
Yeah, that went fast.
Right now, if that guy was there
with a toy gavel, he could have
stopped that conversation.
He filed the paperwork right
there.
He filed it right there in the
ship.
International waters I was.
Just going to say that
international waters, how does
that work?
Well, it's good in any country,
yeah.
No longer marries.
So as the officer was
handcuffing our judge, he said,
Sir, you can't legally divorce
someone from your car.
That's what the officer said,
yes.
Is that true?
Probably.
Oh, it says he handcuffed him
next to the ball pit.
So he obviously went inside.
He went inside.
He went in handcuffs.
Next to the ball pit.
And that scene from Big Bang
Theory where Sheldon's in thing
he's going bazinga popping up
out of the balls that goes back
in, pops up on the other side.
Dude, they've really dumbed a
lot of that stuff down.
Did you have like we used to
have a place called Discovery
Zone back in the day?
It was badass.
There was like a huge tube thing
where you can run through those,
like the entire.
School, yeah.
Now, I mean, I guess they become
super filthy.
Yeah, I was going to say, I used
to go in the ball pit and the
tubes with the kids.
They were always nice,
especially the ball pit.
Stuff.
Yeah.
I don't even see many McDonald's
playgrounds anymore.
No, they haven't get rid of.
Them they got rid of those, it
was some legal thing.
Oh really?
Somebody got hurt.
You're kidding me.
Like coffee hot type of a
scenario.
No, some kid fell or something.
I mean, they were unsupervised,
so it's not like there was some
McDonald's employee going don't
climb on the outside of the
jungle gym or something like
that, right?
Who do you think who originally
created that?
Like, hey, you know what we
should do?
We should have a playground
here.
The clown.
That way, the clown, the clown,
the clown's behind it, yeah.
Right.
Originally you decided to put
the play places in.
Yeah, some working.
Guys, that way mommy and daddy
can sit and have their
cheeseburger.
And they stay longer.
They buy more food.
That's the theory.
I'm guessing I.
Don't think it worked.
Oh, I know it didn't work.
Yeah.
Listen, when they had them
outside and they got heated and
they were like hot molten metal.
Right.
Yeah, no, OK.
All right.
So moving on.
Well, he he is now faces charges
of fraud, impersonating the
judge and disturbing the peace.
Chuck E Cheese has banned him
for life.
What kind of peace is going on
in Chuck E Cheese?
There's no peace.
There's no peace.
Yeah.
Having a nice pizza.
Pizza wasn't bad there, which
was weird.
Oh really?
You like the pizza at Chuck E
Cheese?
I I mean, it's been a long, long
time.
They probably have changed the,
you know, this pizza by now.
Yeah, I remember the pizza not
being bad.
You're a Chuck E Cheese guy,
huh?
Go pick up a pie.
No, you don't get it to go.
Are you good over there?
You're on your phone again.
I was looking at the ball pit,
then I found it.
Oh, what do you got?
In 1971, McDonald's introduced
its first play place playground
attached to a restaurant.
In 72, they tested a large
Mcdonaldland theme playground at
the Illinois State Fair, which
helped launch the concept
nationwide.
In 76.
The ball pit, then called a ball
crawl, became popular after
appearing in amusement parks
like SeaWorld, and McDonald's
quickly started adding them to
play places.
It was designed by Set Makers
Incorporated, a Hollywood set
design company that built themed
environments.
Interesting.
And now they're no more.
Now they're no more.
Now they're you.
Just still find a McDonald's
that has one, but they're
usually roped off like with the.
Oh, really?
Crime scene.
Cake.
Yeah, like the one on I drive
has it.
But.
You can't enter.
It you're not allowed on it
anymore.
Right.
That's that's good to know
because then I could be like,
hey, I want to go to the
playground.
I'm like, oh, let's go.
Oh, it's not my fault.
I didn't say no, but.
If you go to that one over and I
drive, it's super big anyway.
Yeah, yeah, no, it's 2-3 story
tall.
Can't go in.
And got all the weird food that
you can't get anywhere else.
Oh really?
That's the biggest McDonald's in
the world.
Yep.
Is it?
Yeah.
Wow.
The more you know.
The more you.
Know OK moving on.
All right, the FBI is warning
the police in California that
there is a drone attack on the
way.
Oh, really?
Yes, they've heard chatter.
They've heard chatter.
They've heard chatter.
OK.
Recent days that Iran could
retaliate for American attacks
by launching drones at the West
Course at the West Coast.
Sorry.
According to a alert reviewed by
ABC News, we recently acquired
information that as of February
2026, Iran is talking about
doing a drone attack from some
type of ship off the coast.
That's interesting.
Only California.
Apparently they hate California.
They hate California.
I'm guessing that's the closest
coast to them.
Yeah, so, but it's not like with
an Iran Navy ship, just some
type of boat.
Finally, something we're going
to agree upon.
Well, they don't have any Navy
ships left.
That's true, but maybe when but
this?
But they made the threat back in
February.
No, no, this is a real, this is
a real thing.
This is, yeah, this isn't a
made-up thing.
And the West Coast is on super
high alert.
Military, everybody.
Like a what are we looking for?
A fishing boat.
Well, with an Iran, with an
Iranian flag, they're not that
smart.
Well, apparently that's how we,
we popped them because there's
like no firewalls on their Wi-Fi
or whatever, right?
And we got to witness everything
going down, right?
Like what?
What are we?
Good is there's no password is
123.
Four.
Yeah.
Hey, I logged in.
Yeah.
I logged in.
What was other?
ACT bar 1234 seem to get me.
Ready 1234.
We have to have a meeting at the
building.
Change the password.
All 49 of you.
Let's go.
Hey, we.
All have same password now.
Hey, there was there was just a
meeting that went bad where we
all got together.
Why don't we get everybody else
together and have another
meeting?
Yeah, on a boat.
On a boat.
They'd never think of this on a.
Boat now?
Yeah, there's no way.
Raise the flags, we all salute.
We'll log into Starlink, it'll
be fine.
Damn Taran, you you put our
stuff on Facebook.
Now they know you put it on
Facebook.
Did a selfie with the selfie
going here.
All my boys.
Supposedly gas is supposed to
keep going up is what they're
saying.
Iran said yesterday that get
ready for $200 a barrel.
Are we supposed to care what
Iran says?
Well, I don't think we're
getting their oil anymore, so.
Well, from what I understand is
they've been attacking all the
boats in that waterway or
whatever.
The Strait of Hormuz.
Yeah, whatever it is.
The Strait of what?
Hormuz I think is the one that
they said Hormuz.
Hormuz Dow dives 600 points, Oil
jumps Iran says it will keep
straight of Hormuz shut.
Yeah.
I got.
Like I don't read the news every
day.
Oil's at 95-A barrel.
Oh, it's down.
It was at 100 the other day.
It's up 10% like the tariffs, so
it must have, it must have gone
down and came up.
So what else is new?
OK, so how close do they have to
be to launch a a drone against
California?
I don't know like.
How far can they go?
The one they showed looked like
a little triangle airplane.
Oh, really?
I don't know how big because you
know, it's a smaller, it's a
picture in picture on a picture
of an Iranian guy, right?
The new leader, the the old
leader's son.
How did we not get that guy?
He wasn't at the meeting.
He wasn't at the meeting.
How old is his son?
Is he older?
He.
Looks like he's in his 40s.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's not like a 12 year old or
anything going.
I get them now.
Do we take that guy off the
table too or what?
I would imagine eventually
Trump's very upset.
He doesn't like that guy.
He doesn't like that guy.
Same problems, different guy.
That's.
Usually what happens?
Yeah, well, you've got the guy's
son.
It's not like he's going.
I want McDonald's to come in
here now.
Well, because he heard about
there's no more playgrounds.
Yeah, there's no more
playgrounds.
That's right, exactly.
OK, no, Chuck E Cheese.
He doesn't need a divorce
because he's, you know, got all
those wives.
So virgins.
So they get those at the end.
All right, so California's on
high alert.
California's in high alert.
Would it just be California or
you would think the entire
coast?
It's the West Coast, but
California is pretty much.
Well, yeah, I mean, most of the
West Coast, yeah.
If you attack one of those other
states north of there, you got
to be way specific.
Yeah, well, the population just
isn't as much as.
Just, you know, a little more
spread out.
I mean, they could attack
Montana and not hit somebody.
Do you think that this is just
like kind of fear mongering
stuff or you think this is
legit?
I think it's a legit threat, but
I don't see it.
Were they going to get some boat
through?
I mean like, we don't watch
everything, right?
We have anti defense systems
over on the coast anyways on all
of our.
Coasts anti defense when it be
that's against defense.
Anti defense.
Anti defense.
Anti defense measurement.
Anti defense would mean we don't
want to.
Defend anti offense.
Anyways.
I knew what he meant, he just
said it wrong.
It's more fun that way.
Anti missile strikes.
Yeah, I imagine we we've got
stuff we don't even know about.
We have air defense.
Oh, I'm sure.
Is that what he was trying to
say?
No, no.
He was trying to say we have
defenses but he said anti
defense so maybe, maybe an anti
ship.
I didn't do my YouTube comments.
Well, you know by the time you
read the other thing 17 * I.
Started to get a little
dishevelled.
Got a little dishevelled.
Is there any about attacks on
California?
On California, Ben Ryan says
yeah, that math checks 2500 * 20
is 5000.
Glad you're all making up for
boots being out.
Oh, that was when we, we and you
were talking.
That was just me.
Yeah, us.
We were just.
Oh nice.
Yep, screw you Ben.
CCW 6383 asked who is smoking in
the background.
That was our friend Ken.
Ken Yeah.
And man, like they just
disappeared.
Super frustrating.
I didn't get his wife's name or
I would say hello to her on the
camera, hello to his wife.
Misses Miller.
Misses Miller.
Hello.
Misses.
Miller T Money said something
not nice.
I'm going to skip that 10.
It must be about you, no?
No, it's No it's not.
That's all I really have.
Like he looked fat on
yesterday's show.
Oh, David Moore said you can
also add T to NASA and make it
Santa.
It's all about perspective and
Santa makes more sense since he
flies around the world.
Great point.
There you go.
Yeah, and then I got one from
TX.
Southpaw says yeah.
I think the better approach
would be to hand the guy either
A5 pack or a sampler.
Then he can post about it
organically or call you back to
ask questions about the brand.
The forced ad approach on social
media definitely seems phony.
Yeah, we agree.
I don't know what that was
about.
Me neither, but I do agree about
the fake social.
That sounds perfectly.
Legit.
Yeah, and Mark Palmer says you
must be a mind reader.
Yeah, I don't know what that is
either.
Yeah, if you want to hear your
comment, comment below on the
latest episode if it's.
How does this not mean?
If it's mean, we'll probably
post it or we might say it if
it's me.
If it's like it's a little hairy
towards a brand or something,
maybe I'm like you'll leave that
stuff to us.
So all.
Right back to California.
Where do you think they would
attack California?
What do you think would be the
optimal target without giving
them an idea?
San Diego, of which one?
I, I, you know, not like they're
big fans.
They watch the show.
Right.
Well, San Diego's most
convenient, right?
Well, it's not where all the
Navy's at.
Yeah.
I would think then the military
bases would be harder to hit
than say like Hollywood.
LA or something, yeah.
Your your objective would be to
hurt our military a little bit
if you're going to keep
attacking us.
I mean, where are you going to
hit Hollywood?
Oh, no, no.
More Can you imagine?
I think the objective would be
to cause disruption and fear
among Americans, not actually
attack the military.
I got news for you, if they
actually succeeded on a strike,
do you have any idea how bad
that would be for Iran?
It'd be horrible, but let's
really think about this, OK?
They have one drone with one
missile if you're going to take
one shot.
Well, we don't know about that.
We don't know, they're like 1.
I mean depends on how big the
boat.
Is what are they M&M?
Maybe, yeah.
One shot.
They literally showed a picture
of those where those little
wooden paper planes used to get
like Ace Hardware and stuff.
That's your drone.
There's a guy there going
winding it up the propeller.
Rubber band, baby.
Rubber band.
OK, Someone Like You,
firecracker.
Hurry, quick post this on social
media.
Big.
Put it up on your page, Akbar.
I love how we're talking about
this because we really don't
know what their accents like a
little.
A little wooden.
Airplane, We demand the hosts of
cigar hustling podcast
surrender.
We get a cease and desist
letter.
From the new.
The new Ayatollah.
Yeah, the Ayatollah we have.
Michael, your phone's ringing.
We.
Understand hello that their
reach is very completely.
The Cigar Hustler.
I am sorry, but you must go you.
Must not talk about this
anymore.
We'll send the blame.
They pick us up with pillowcases
over our heads, chop our heads
off and.
Wake up in the desert somewhere,
scrap to a chair.
Oh God, we're back in Vegas.
In Vegas, Jesus.
I thought we had another year
before we got here.
They made fun of the they made
fun of our drones.
OK, well.
Yeah, I'm sure they have more
than one.
I mean, and The thing is at
least two, well, you got to
launch them all at the same.
Well, we're telling them how to
do it.
You got to launch them.
All at the same time.
I mean, you think they're
completely, I'm not going to use
that word.
They're completely stupid or
they're like.
Well, I mean, they started this
in the 1st place.
They did, yeah.
They launched a couple of
missiles at a military base we
had, yeah.
That was pretty dumb.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, they're also now they have
threatened to assassinate Trump.
They said that he's going to,
they're going to kill him
specifically.
I'm sure he gets threats all the
time with.
Us.
So what else is new?
Yeah, I'm sure he's not worried.
About it at all, I mean you
took.
The ball pits out.
We're going to kill you.
Right.
Are you serious?
Are.
You seriously threatened me.
OK.
All right.
Moving on.
All right, Waffle House to go.
Patrons at a local Waffle House.
Not local.
Actually, patrons at a Waffle
House got more than they
bargained for last night when a
local woman was arrested for
what police described as
persistent and the rest of
solicitation.
So she was in there going table
to table.
You got a few dollars, You got
some money, right?
Some people said yes.
Some people just dodged her.
And then she has this one lady.
Hey, can I have a bite of your
waffle?
And the lady went, yeah, we're
not gave her by her wavel.
It's this real weird looking
lady with degrees of pink in her
hair, like it might have been
pink at one time and now it's
growing out, faded, faded out.
She's got that.
I do crack face.
Like meth?
Yeah, the meth face.
Yeah, she had a meth face, the
lady.
Gave it away the going from
table to table with money.
They gave her the thing.
They eventually called the
police.
The police showed up and
escorted the lady off the
premises.
It was no arrest, right?
But.
What gave it away was that she
was at a Waffle House.
Yeah, like did you say
solicitation by the way, in the
beginning?
It Yeah, I thought it was that
type of solicitation too, but it
was let's say she was begging
for money, not offering sex.
So actually the title of the
story brought me in because I
thought that you thought there
was sex.
Yeah, but I.
Mean.
I like that.
He thought it was going to be a
good story.
Right.
You know, it's funny because you
were talking about on Chai Town
how your threads is like a bunch
of naked ladies or whatever.
It's always on your threads.
Yeah, that's not my threads.
I don't have any of that.
I have guys and people getting
knocked out over and over and
over again.
So.
We're all this morning it was
some weird website V viral or
something and it was all stupid
tiny little stories.
I ran right?
It's coming for you.
Tiny little stories like.
Small short stories like it
would like.
Not a story, just a picture and
then a headline.
No actual story, right?
Interesting.
OK.
I thought she was just really,
really friendly, 1 Diner said.
Then they asked if she could
have a bite of a waffle.
I figured why not?
She gave her butter of a waffle,
so employees eventually called
the police.
Officers arrived, escorted the
woman from the premises with no
incident.
The waffles Oh no extra waffles
were reported missing other than
just the.
One the one bite.
The one bite.
Yes.
OK, it must have been a slow
Newsday.
It was a terrible There was
nothing last night.
There was nothing this morning.
I was panicking for news
stories, Yeah.
Waffle House to the rescue?
Waffle House.
Yeah, you can always find
something good with Waffle.
House What's going on at Waffle
House?
Well, there was another story
that I saw briefly about a lady
doing therapy counseling in a
Waffle House parking lot.
I was looking for that and this
one came back up.
I couldn't find that one.
A lot of a lot of parking lot
action a.
Lot of parking lot action too,
right?
Well, after you see one, you
know, you click on one and you
read it and like, oh, he likes
these, he likes parking lots, he
likes parking lots.
So here you go boop.
All right now I have the ideal
gift for 2026.
This was said to me.
This is the one I was said to be
the last minute this morning.
It's so good I had to.
Yeah, you had to work it in.
Is it something sexual?
No.
OK, do either one of you have a
poop knife in your home?
A poop knife A.
Poop knife.
No, All right, I.
Asked you if it was something
sexual.
This is not sexual.
What would you think a poop
knife would be for?
Because this is what drew me in.
What I thought it was for is not
exactly what it's for, but it is
poop related.
Only imagine Palmer's brain
working.
I thought maybe it was to
somehow clean yourself or you
know, scrape if you know messy
poop and scrape it in or
something.
Poop because it was the the
headline was poop knife can be
shared by the entire family.
OK Oh my God, Mikey.
Is being so cautious.
I am.
He is.
He's, he's sitting.
On the edge here.
Afraid to jump in a pool.
Yeah.
All right.
What do you think you would do
with a poop knife?
Not buy one.
Well, you can get it at Amazon
and.
Walmart.
Yeah, right.
Maybe it's like, OK.
Wait, before you say what you
think.
I would feel he would be out of
the freebus.
He would have one.
Wow.
OK.
So go ahead.
What do you think it's for
though?
What do you think it's for?
I think it's.
Maybe like clean clean out the
toilet or something.
See that's.
Why?
I thought you would have one.
It's if you have an unusually
large poop, you cut up the poop
in the toilet so it doesn't clog
your toilet.
What?
That's the most ridiculous.
Thing I've heard about Yeah,
that's yeah.
It's a thing you can buy.
It on Amazon in Australia, so
you want.
A poop knife as always.
No, I don't.
Want a poop?
You're trying to hint towards
that.
No, I don't.
Want a poop in Australia?
Is that what you said?
Yeah, as it is in Australia.
It's often a silicone.
Coated or dedicated household
tool used to cut, divide and
breakdown large human waste in
the toilet to prevent clogging
and facilitate easier flushing.
Because they shit the size.
Of a triceratops and plugs the
toilet.
Yeah, who's having turds?
These big Well, it's.
Originally popularized by a
viral Reddit story and it's now
commercially available on at
Walmart, on Amazon and some
other places it's commercially.
Available.
Do you know what anybody that
owns?
A poop knife.
Well, I just found out.
About the story an hour ago, I
have not had chance to poll my
friends who sent this to you.
An avid listener.
That's all you're saying?
Paul, man, did I just throw that
out there?
He's, he's been Paul.
I know.
You've been sending a lot of
food related recalls lately.
Unless it's level 1, we don't
really discuss, we only
acknowledge level 1.
There's too many.
Possible death?
Too many.
And not death by allergy.
That one's just that one didn't
qualify.
Poop knife Poop knife Let me see
how much a poop.
Knife.
How does a poop knife cost?
I don't know. 39990 we're
guessing.
Yeah, 1999, man, you're an Oh
yeah, it's.
You looked it up, it's right
there.
It's more money.
Can you get it?
Overnight. $6.40. 9 cents $6
Does it just look like a A?
Picnic plastic utensil?
Yes.
It's a 2 pack by the way.
Oh wow, well, they must break.
Easily.
Two bathrooms it won't.
Be here till Saturday.
Oh, it's not really they.
Really have it.
You can get a metal one too and
have.
That tomorrow for 999 metal one?
Yep.
It's apparently dishwasher.
Safe.
You get a cigarette in the
dishwasher.
That's disgusting.
Yeah, that's.
Well, you got to clean it.
It's got.
Poop on it.
It's gone too far.
I'm not.
I'm not.
Using this.
Let me ask you a question,
Barbara.
How do you clean your plunger or
your little scrubby brush for
the toilet?
Toilet.
My wife takes care of that.
OK, just use the clean water.
From the toilet.
Yeah, I mean, you clean.
It out as you get done and then
you put it back in the little
holder and I think she puts.
The.
Cleaner in the holder.
There's some people that I.
Know not now, but before in my
life they have put that stuff in
the dish.
What happened to them?
They were.
In your life now they're gone
when did you part of way Well,
they died the.
Wind blew and they were cross.
Contamination of putting.
It in their dishes, yeah, right.
That's disgusting.
Yeah, it's gross.
It's all clean at the end.
That's disgusting if you put.
You put your utensils.
In there that have food on them,
it's the same thing.
It's just the earlier in the in
the program.
I mean this is just the the.
You don't shit where you eat
scenario.
Yeah, but you're a germaphobe
though.
You.
Probably you'd be OK.
With us, I mean, I'm.
A.
Well, I would run it by.
Itself.
I don't think I would, you know,
like, OK, put the dishes from
dinner in there and then, oh,
wait, you know, the poop knife's
dirty.
Let's just stick it in there.
Not happening.
It's not going in the
dishwasher.
It's actually not never being
purchased, never being used.
Yeah, I'm taking my chances.
The size of the shit doesn't
matter.
I'm flushing the toilet.
If it gets clogged, I'm flushing
it again.
Yeah, like you say.
What type?
Of T Rex Turge, are you taking?
Yeah, the user cuts.
The waste into smaller pieces
while it's in the toilet bowl.
Hygiene commercial versions are
often silicone coated,
dishwasher safe and designed
with long handles to keep hands
clean.
Some users suggest using it with
gloves stored in a dedicated
spot.
Some users suggest not
purchasing.
It at all?
Yeah, I'm getting you one.
For your birthday, I'm going to
beat you with it.
Before you use it.
No, no.
After you I'm going to use it
here.
And then I'm going to.
Sling crap at you.
Oh my God.
And then I'm going to say hey,
put this in your dishwasher.
I bet Greg would have one.
A poop knife sounds like
something.
Greg, I got news for you.
You're going to fast.
Forward about 8 to 12 months
from today and you're going to
hear poop My knife Millionaire
busted for Yeah, something
horrible.
Yeah, busted with Squatty Potty.
And Jared.
Yeah, yeah.
Poop knife builder.
They're now the three.
Three trio of weirdos.
Oh, there you.
Can get officially.
Branded ones that can cost $20.
Oh, that's a big one.
I need it.
I need.
It branded Poopknife.
Dot com.
Wow.
OK.
Thanks.
Paul, Amazon, Walmart.
Etsy, Oh, they have their own
website.
All right, now we have an
updated story.
On the satellite they have
found, well, they didn't find
it, but they know where it went
in the ocean.
The re entry was uncontrolled
as.
A satellite run through, blah,
blah, blah.
Oh, it came.
Now it ran out of gas.
No more fuel.
OK, So they couldn't refuel it.
You would ask the other day,
right?
But they didn't just start it
back up.
So the Space Force confirmed
the.
Probe came down West of the
Galapagos Islands and South of
Mexico at approximately 2° S
latitude and 255.3 SE longitude.
For those of you who would like
to look it up, that's my house.
So it landed on land.
No, it water it was.
Water.
It was fine on the water.
Most of the space crash was
burned up during entry, but
there was some fiery pieces seen
falling from the sky.
OK, damn.
So they were within their 24
hour.
Window.
It was just the out the end of
the 24 hour, right?
So, So what?
You're telling me is they're
practically weatherman?
Yes.
It may or may not rain.
May or satellite, well, I
imagine until it actually.
Breaks through, you can see it.
You cannot determine how fast it
goes through the atmosphere,
right?
So that's why, you know, within
24 hour period we sort of don't
know where it might be.
I heard there's a lot of junk up
there there's.
A lot of satellites up there.
Yeah, there's a lot of dead
satellites, but they.
Don't all fall, they have to
wait on the orbit to degrade.
I guess A big Chinese space
station came down a couple years
ago that we didn't even know
about really, I don't remember.
Here in the ocean.
As well.
I know it might have hit China.
Who knows?
Not our problem.
Big place over there.
Yeah.
Not our problem.
It only had a 10 year warranty.
So right.
You're 11.
It's gone.
Well, I mean this thing.
Ran out of gas in 2019, so it's
been up there.
Every time it goes around, it
gets a little closer, a little
closer, a little closer.
Oh, there it goes.
OK, you think all the the big.
Lizards and turtles on the
Galapagos island were like, here
it comes, yes.
I think so too.
Absolutely, yes.
OK.
All right.
Do you have a video for us,
Michael?
No.
Do we just eliminating that
part?
Of the program, this is I think
the second week with no video.
We didn't have a.
Video last week.
Well, we did have.
The photo of your illustrious
award this week, but no video.
Yeah, you did that.
Right, right.
I brought.
I provided that.
But you were so we had a video
this week is what you're.
Saying no, Well, it was more of
a photo.
There was no video.
Yesterday.
No, there's no video yesterday.
I had.
AI had a funny video that was
sent to me you guys will find
funny because it makes fun of me
but.
Why didn't you share that with?
Us.
Yeah.
Why don't we have that?
Yeah, there it goes.
Where is it?
I mean, I can send to you.
You want me to send to you?
Yeah, Yes.
I mean, it's funny if I just
read.
It, but I'll send it to you.
Yeah, we want to see the video.
It's from you want.
Me to tell you who it's from.
No.
OK.
Send this to I thought it was
Matul's birthday.
But apparently it's not so.
Oh, it says it is, Yeah.
Let's see here.
Did he send?
It it said it sent.
Yeah, it's do your face with.
Sorry, I don't know how to send.
It any other way not like
Palmer.
I don't know how to do all the
thingy things.
How do I download?
This.
Oh, I saw this.
Where they bet, they bet on the
hotline of its on gambling
editions of its.
Yeah, oh wait, hotline takes
under 2 1/2 rings.
Thank you for calling.
The gambling No, no.
No shit.
That was funny.
That's definitely.
You.
So who do you think sent that to
Ginger, you think?
Ginger sent it I think.
Ginger.
Or.
Carlos, one of the others
What's?
Your guess, Mikey.
I think it's Ben Rowland.
Ben.
I think Ben would have sent it.
Are we both?
Do you want me to reveal who's?
A dad are we?
Both wrong.
Yeah, you're.
Both wrong.
Pete Hernandez.
I'll give you 1.
More guess Palmer, since he.
Got 1.
Skip, he's right.
Ding, Ding, Ding.
Wow.
Boom.
That's awesome.
What'd you win?
Bragging rights for bragging
rights.
More responsibilities.
More responsibility.
Oh great, now I'm.
Now I'm his assistant too.
Congratulations all right on the
cigar news.
The UK is about to pass a
generational tobacco ban.
Oh, really?
No more.
Tobacco.
OK, they plan to ban tobacco and
vape purchase for anyone born
after 2008.
That means eventually
everybody's going.
To die off and nobody can add
tobacco.
What a mess.
They will be the second.
Country to ban have a generation
Tobacco ban?
Yeah, who's the?
First one the well wait first.
It is already passed the House
of Lords.
Oh, they have a thing.
Yes, but now.
It has to go back to the House
of Commons for final.
Stages and amendments.
So apparently House of Commons
went OK, sitting at the House of
the Lords.
I think those are the guys with
the white hair and everything,
right?
And now it's back to the House
of Commons.
So I don't know why it goes back
and forth, back and forth.
Is that where like the poor
people hang out?
That's what it sounds like.
I guess no.
House of Commons is like their
Senate, Yeah.
House of Lords is like their
House of Representatives or.
Vice versa, I don't know which.
Ones to charge.
There's a big difference there,
yeah.
Lords sound like the rich
people.
And comments sound like the
peasants.
Well, they would be coming
house.
Of.
The heathens, right, Right.
We have sent it back.
The pull up people shall vote.
Now send it back to the people.
Who have no money so they can
also ban.
Flavored vape products and then
they could require plain
packaging.
More restrictions on vape sizes.
That's odd.
Only the little ones.
Very small, very small.
Just certain flavors.
Pink advertising restrictions
vape free zones.
Somebody's.
I mean, look.
Wait, wait, you said that they.
Were banning all that and then
they still have vape free zones.
Yeah, well, there's no nicotine
in it.
Well, no.
No, because let's.
Say it's from 2, you know, so
the the law will be anybody born
after 2008 cannot use the vape
or tobacco or any products.
So we're all born before 2008.
We can't vape in this zone
because it's a vape free zone.
Oh, until all of us die.
They.
Will have vape right until all
of us die.
And then they will not have them
anymore.
No one can do it.
This makes no sense.
Yeah, I don't.
Understand why they do this?
I can't.
Hold on, I've got oh, the
proposal started under Boris
Johnson and then continued under
Rishi Sunak, OK.
And now moving forward under.
The Labour government.
See New Zealand.
New Zealand tried it in 2023 and
it didn't work.
In 2024, they went OK, everybody
gets smoking.
Oh, really?
Yes, yeah, that's.
Why they're paying all of?
US to move there, so New Zealand
was the first one.
Yes, but no Maldives I'm.
Sorry, is the first one, but
they kept it in place, so in
the.
Maldives, No.
Tobacco after a certain time,
generational tobacco.
Maldives.
No Maldives, Maldives where
that's the cool place where they
have the the places over the
water.
You can go today.
Well, I'm not going.
Why you you can smoke there.
Oh well.
No, I'm not giving them my
money.
Oh yeah, you're not going to
support the tobacco.
Places that are still there
before they get shut down, can't
Iran attack that?
Spot.
I don't think they.
Would I don't?
Think they would?
Why wouldn't they?
Everybody goes there for.
Vacation, even the not.
American even the Iranians.
I hear the Ayatollah loves it
there.
The new Ayatollah or the old
Ayatollah?
Both.
Well, the old Ayato is dead
well, right.
But he took his son there.
When he was younger so it's his
fond memories of his father
there.
Got it.
Yeah, they used to.
Make.
Water castles, right?
Water castles, yeah.
OK, perfect UK is close to
becoming one of.
The few countries implement a
permanent generational ban on
tobacco and vaping, targeting
anyone born after 2008, I mean.
There's so many more important.
Things to address.
Yeah, like what are we doing?
I don't know, It sounds like
somebody's got.
Too much free time?
Yeah.
Why?
They're about to attack
California.
Why has everybody got free time?
Well, they're not.
This is.
This is the UK, they're not
attacking California.
Not EU KS problem.
Yeah, they have to get through
us to get.
To them, I mean, if they're
coming from that side, yeah,
it's ridiculous.
Coming from the West Coast, they
get to get.
All the way across America and
keep going.
They don't know if they would
have just turned left.
They would have been there
already, right?
We only have the one map.
I still think it's kind of odd
that this.
Strait is shut down.
Strait of Hormuz, Yeah.
Well, apparently it runs along
the edge of Iran, I believe,
right?
Yeah.
So point to everything.
That way.
You can't just, you know, it's.
Not that big.
Yeah, but you can't just gun
down the coast.
Just run down to like a.
Drive by shooting as the boat
goes down and we're open.
I guess they could.
Well, what they're doing.
Is they're, they're taking out
not our ships, they're taking
out our allies ships, but our
allies don't want to get
involved in the whole war, so we
just, they just let them.
Attack it.
Yeah, that's basically what's
happening.
Like if.
You like when you look this up
after after show, I'm sure
you'll look it all up.
I'm not going to.
I just trust you.
Oh well, it it.
Yeah, that's what's going on.
Ah.
I'm just letting them be
attacked.
Yeah, I don't know.
Israel is.
Shooting missiles?
Yeah, they have the laser.
They shoot missiles out of the
sky.
Very excited about the laser.
I like the.
Laser.
It's pretty cool.
Why don't we just take the?
Laser and cut the whole area up.
I don't know, it's the whole
area.
I ran Well, like a poop knife.
Yeah, there you go.
Like a poop knife.
Like 1.
Big poop knife, One big What is?
It it's a large silicone and
it's heading this way.
It looks dishwasher safe.
Dishwasher.
Safe knife.
Your microphone is in it again.
Is it?
How bad is it?
All right.
Well, can you say that again?
Is it that bad?
Yeah.
You put your leg.
Up you move the microphone.
Yeah, but this shouldn't.
Be happening well.
No.
We need better.
I'll turn it off and turn it
back on. 40. 9 minutes.
All right, we have another
updated.
Story The South Dakota bill that
would allow for new cigar bars
in the state has cleared its
first hurdle.
Oh, On Monday, March 9th, the
South Dakota Senate passed the
bill 28 to six, with one person
didn't show up for the meeting.
Sick.
What, were they sick?
No, they just didn't want to be.
On on record of supporting or
non supporting?
Gotcha.
Is the mic working now?
Yeah.
You're good, OK and?
Now heads to the.
Governor Larry Roden Roden Roden
Roden, Larry to be signed into
law.
OK, You know what's going on?
It's.
Just a bill.
It's only yeah, OK.
We covered this story.
Either earlier in the week or
last week, this is the bill that
says they can have.
What is this one?
Allow for new cigar bars.
Oh, OK.
They originally it was like 1.
Every 2500 people or whatever
the hell it was, right.
Well, they dropped that out.
Oh, that's good.
Yes.
So now it has passed.
It has cleared the first hurdle.
The Dakota Senate passed at 28
to 6.
So now all they need now is for
the governor to sign it into
law.
Oh, I thought that.
That was happening in Maryland.
There's several things going on
in the world.
Michael not just in one place.
OK, But we covered this on a
previous show, did we?
Yes, because I thought the 2500
thing was Maryland.
Doesn't mean they didn't do it
too.
I don't feel like you.
Covered this one.
Yes, we did.
Day before yesterday, I believe,
to be exact.
Yeah, this is the one that get
more things.
David Morris, I want you to
verify that for.
Me The story was originally
published.
On February 6th, 2020, sixth.
So maybe it was last month, OK,
But we did cover it.
South Dakota House State Affairs
Committee approved by a vote of
11 to 1, meaning the bill moves
consideration to the full House
representatives, which they
already passed.
So now they're just waiting on
the governor, OK.
Well, that's good.
So progress in some places and
we're going backwards in the UK,
right?
Is that what's happening here?
Yes, America, Good.
Other countries bad, right?
Yes.
That's the way we're going to
America.
That's why everybody's attacking
us.
We allow smokers everywhere.
They're threatening to attack
us.
Well, they attacked our bases.
Right.
It's still us.
OK, I'll give you that.
All right now, consumers.
In Utah, yeah, one step closer
to be able to buy online.
Yay.
So this is from March 11th.
Or this was yesterday.
Last week, the Utah Senate voted
27 to 0, with two abstaining, to
pass the law that lets people
buy stuff online.
OK, Iran's here.
So now we're just.
Waiting.
Iran, hold up.
Now we're waiting on Governor
Spencer Cox to sign this one and
then we can sell cigars online.
Yay, Governor Who?
I was on.
A VO.
TL last night you were on what,
Veterans of the Leaf?
It was like a little herf thing.
Nice.
Yeah, that's pretty cool.
So you don't announce these
things beforehand?
Anymore I forgot.
About it, but they.
Call you at the last minute?
No, I booked it like.
Eight months ago.
Oh yeah.
You know, if you put it.
On a little calendar thing it
was it showed up.
Oh.
Oh, there it is.
Look.
At that, yeah, it was a good.
Conversation.
Had a good time.
How many were there?
About. 12 or 13 guys.
Oh yeah, 2121 for you 21 live
viewers.
Wow, look at you.
Biggest ever had.
Biggest ever had?
You're a big deal.
That's what they kept saying,
OK?
Newman.
All right, so.
This past 66 to one, eight
people didn't vote.
Why they don't like buying
cigars online.
Like we're not.
Doing this right, I'm going to
get lunch.
I'm gonna get lunch.
How do you not vote?
You're not there.
Like that's the guy, all of
these.
Guys, I don't think show up.
Regularly.
It's not like they just abstain
from this one.
They're like, I've got cards
tonight over the Johnson's
house.
I'm not going cards over the
Johnsons.
I mean, this is that's
obnoxious.
You have one jump vote.
Yeah, show up for the votes,
right?
You always hear about this
during re election times.
They'll go well.
Mike Stemmagevit didn't show up
17 times for votes.
He missed them and I had to get
a sandwich.
And Phil Mcguffey showed.
Up every time but one, so we
should have.
Right, he's definitely superior.
Well, however his because he has
a bet with somebody.
That if he shows up for less
than one, what's the over under?
Right.
What's the over under?
And he picked 1, so he has to go
to the rest.
Where's the line at?
Yeah.
OK.
Currently Utah and.
Hawaii are the only two states
that ban the shipment of cigars
to consumers in the state, so
Utah's about the change.
It'll be Hawaii open, so die.
Very excited.
Die, die.
What do you'll?
Die for I have no idea when I
hear Hawaii.
I say die.
Very angry.
I don't know.
All right, we got a new.
Cigar, Hawaii, I say die.
They're happy.
Look, they've banned.
Smoking sales.
Smoking sales?
No, you can.
Sell stuff there.
Just we can't sell stuff there.
Yeah, that's bad.
That's pretty high tax in
Hawaii.
It's one out of 50, I think
we're.
OK, Yeah, it's.
The Rocks and Oprah's Yeah and
they're rocking Oprah OWN.
Everything there private island
because they burned everything
up and then bought it out of the
deal.
Oh, I thought Oprah owned the.
Bahamas burned everything up
and.
Bought it.
She might own the Bahamas too,
who knows?
Yeah, it's all it's it's.
The United States of Oprah.
She likes islands.
She's an island collector.
Hey and she does that fake
little.
Island accent?
Nobody can tell.
Come with me.
Man, come with me, man.
Come with me, man, Come to.
Hawaii.
See my.
Island OK, All right, The.
Blood Medicine.
B positive gets 3 new vitolas.
So they already made the cigar.
Like you know what we need?
We need three more different.
Yeah, well.
This was a limited run, I think
the last year, yeah.
And I think maybe we that would
explain why we only got 1 size
last year.
So now they're expanding into
three different sizes, right?
Let's read on.
You know what the three sizes.
Are robusto.
Toro Corona, Gorda So last year
was a. 6 by 52 Toro standard
Toro size nothing unusual.
This is what we're doing guys.
Big new one now it is the 5 by
52 they're.
Not giving it a name.
That's the blood medicine B
positive LE for 2026.
OK.
And then they're doing the B +5
1/2 by 56 they're.
Not giving these weird names.
Very unusual.
All right.
And then the third size, who
would like to guess 60?
Yeah, 660. 6 by 54.
Oh, really?
Interesting.
Good.
Slightly bigger Toro, yes.
OK, each vitola is.
Limited to 800.
I think those were just the
defective ones from the words
I'm like, oh, what do we do
these these?
Are too big.
Who screwed up now?
Conrad I love that.
We'll release them next year.
So they're made 800 boxes of.
Each size, and they're going to
ship them later this month.
Like the original blood
medicine, it's made at Aradio
Pichardo's Takanisa factory
Pichardo.
OK, the name.
D Oh, wait.
Oh, the factory was originally
called the D hatui tobacco essay
last year Yeah, until.
What's his name got out of it?
All right, it's time for the
industry's.
Favorite game?
What's?
The score.
I understand the Ayatollah
loves.
His game don't help him this
time.
The Ayatollah.
The Ayatollah.
Loves his game, the new one.
The old one.
Both the old one they played.
Against each other.
Now he's looking for somebody
else to play again.
Yeah, that's why he was so he he
wanted.
To take over the regime and then
right, his dad kept winning.
Someone you know?
What dad you should do?
Have a meeting with all your
friends.
Someone better step up and play.
Or out put all these wooden
planes everywhere.
That's a wooden planes.
All right, it's cigars from
March. 11th 2026 Charlie Minato
cigars Dominican Republic
reviews tradecraft The Vitruvian
Vitruvian.
That's not what you said.
Last time you were like
Vitruvian, that's how you did
it.
Is this?
Did we do this cigar?
We talked about it.
When it when they released it,
right?
This is a new.
A new review.
Vitruvian.
Vitruvian, OK.
That's it.
Yeah, I said the name of the
cigar.
I mean, that was up to you guys.
All right, you go first.
You went, I went.
First, last time, 8580. 7.
See, it's the Dominican Republic
cigar, the Tablo Calera.
William Ventura trying to recoup
his losses.
Still still Ecuador rappers.
Ecuador Connecticut seed binders
Ecuador Sumatra seed.
Completely different seed.
It's the other one, right?
Feller, Dominican Republic.
Carojo, Secco and Creolo, 98
Secco, Ecuadorian Oh Puntao
PUNTIA.
O.
Puntao.
Pontao Viso.
Puntao and.
Nicaraguan.
Halapa length is 6 by 50.
It's round.
They smoked 3.
Oops.
Gas for air over there, that
pill.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Yeah, let's get it together.
Staying 85.
I'm trying 87.
It's been a bad day clue.
Number one.
Attractive wrapper with a light
mustard color, smooth texture
and noticeable Sheen, and a very
clean vein structure. 8586.
Oddly enough.
That's how.
Phil likes his penises too
veiny.
Well, mustard color.
Smooth texture, yeah.
Veiny vascular, right, Phil.
Right, Phil, It's not engaging.
Clue number.
Two complex aromas and flavors
including black tea, sweet fruit
notes, wood, leather and
occasional creaminess that adds
depth.
Again, how he likes his penises.
So you should you're going to
rank this.
Higher then Phil, your
microphone's doing it again.
They know he's just.
Saying it seriously.
No 80. 5.
I don't like you, I told you.
Just see I would say I started
this.
This podcast saying nice things
about you.
And now here I am.
You were getting on me.
About penises or whatever, what
I don't know.
Technically, I was.
Yeah, whatever.
You 2 are collaborating against
me.
Wow, 86.
All right, third clue.
This cigar is complete.
Shit flavor consistency can.
Be uneven at times, with some
puffs becoming dry, harsh, or
developing metallic notes.
Fell, 8580. 4.
Final thought.
When I first started smoking
cigars, I found a lot more
cigars that tasted like these
three Vitruvians.
Well, I'm sure most of these
cigars exist.
These days.
I rarely experience them.
Plain and simple, the flavor
profile is just not up to the
standards of the modern cigar
market.
Even at its best, it needed more
flavors, but most of the time it
was too dry and too harsh.
Bill Bill 70. 5.
Damn.
Yeah.
Oh shit. 76.
You went the right way I.
Know 82?
Was it really an 80?
Yeah, he said.
It didn't even taste good at
all.
It's.
Like a shrimp low mane.
Tank, thanks for making that.
Easy for me.
Wow, you have to go first
moving.
Forward I was going.
To go 81.
But I he got a racist comment in
and I.
Didn't think he was going to do
it, yeah.
Yeah, he was a shrimp.
Low mane.
He's capable.
Of sliding Charlie.
Yeah, there was, Charlie.
If it was Brooks or somebody
would not have been racist,
right?
I would have talked about
coconibs.
But you went, you went with a
shrimp.
Romaine with the Asian man.
So is the Asian.
Great.
Now I'm the Racian.
All right, Where are we going to
be on Friday and Saturday?
The. 27th the 28th of March we
going to be at Human refined
cigars and Bo Weevil cigars in
two different places in Alabama,
Nice Dothan and Enterprise, I
believe OK and.
Saturday's one to.
Four Friday is 5 till 10 I
believe.
Maybe it's 5 to 8, I don't know.
It does start at 5:00, so it's
Friday to Saturday.
It's Friday and Saturday.
All right, make sure you like
and.
Subscribe wherever you're
viewing or listening.
Do you have any podcasts?
Or virtual herfs.
Or car washes.
Or standing on the corner with a
sign.
Any of that coming up anytime.
Soon, but I am going to eat.
Someone's waffle at a Waffle
House right after this.
Oh, just out for a bite, yeah.
And then I'm.
Going to start handling divorces
at Chuck E Cheese.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, there's.
One by your house.
Yeah.
Is that one still open?
Yeah.
Is it?
All right guys, it's been
episode. 486, thank you very
much.
Thank you.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Show Notes
On today’s show Chucky Cheese now handles divorces, FBI warns of a drone attack. Waffle House doesn’t advise Sharing your waffle. We have the location of the crashed Satellite and then in cigars some updated stories a new cigar and then finally a what’s the score