ACHP Episode 502 Wigs, Space Pee Pee, Pooh Shiesty and Juan Lopez We've Got US A Show
Episode Summary
Episode 502 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast finds Mike Palmer joined by co-hosts Phil and Mikey for the show's usual mix of news riffing, industry commentary and cigar releases. The front half runs through headlines: the Kristi Noem resignation story and the photos of her husband Byron, an update on the Artemis II mission where astronaut Christina Koch fixed the jammed fan in the Orion spacecraft's toilet (earning her the nickname "space plumber"), Qatar's reported request to take back the Boeing 747-8 gifted for presidential use, and federal kidnapping and armed robbery charges against nine people including rappers Pooh Shiesty and Big 30 over a Dallas recording studio "meeting." The crew also gets into how much fake war footage is circulating online, including a supposed F-15 shootdown clip that turned out to be gameplay from ARMA 3.
The cigar news segment starts with Gurkha Cigar Group's Tres Decadas, a release honoring VP of sales Juan Lopez and his 30 years in the industry. The hosts break down the blend — Ecuadorian Habano Oscuro wrapper, Nicaraguan binder from Jalapa, and an all-Nicaraguan filler with viso from Condega, ligero from Estelí and seco from Jalapa — offered in Robusto, Toro and Gordo at 1,000 boxes per size, and then spend a good while arguing that a roughly $13 stick is a thin tribute to a three-decade career. From there they cover Davidoff's third and final Travel Humidor Urban ($484, shipping around June 11), which follows the Explorer and Business models and which the hosts insist has crossed the line from murse into full purse, holding eight cigars in a removable felt-divided tray with a Boveda pack rated for 45 days of freshness. Quesada Oktoberfest 2026 rounds out the news: the 15th year of the release and the eighth consecutive year on the same blend, made at Tabacalera de Exportación in the Dominican Republic, in the returning Bavarian, Das Boot, Über, box-pressed Kaiser and Salomón sizes, limited to 500 boxes with price increases of $1 to $3.50 per cigar.
The show closes with "What's the Score?", the hosts' guess-the-review-rating game. The cigar under review is the Lampert Ocean Breeze Toro Grande from Patrick Lampert's Costa Rican operation — Tabacos de Costa Rica, Ecuadorian Habano wrapper, Ecuadorian binder, Nicaraguan, Peruvian and undisclosed filler, 6 1/2 x 56. Clues describe cedar, light spice and subtle creaminess, excellent construction and a mellow-to-medium profile, but note flavors too muted for the price and heavy variance across the three cigars smoked. Phil guesses 85, Mike 89, and guest Chuck lands the 84. Also announced: the show is rolling out a Saturday morning bloopers/cartoons segment, plus CHPod.com "Master Blender" shirts and PCA meeting sign-ups for retailers and media.
In This Episode
- 01CHPod Swag and the Master Blender ShirtMike shows off the new Master Blender shirt with a hidden Powstanie P and runs through the CHPod.com deals and PCA Calendly links for retailers and media.
- 02Listener Comments on Episode 500/502The hosts read comments ribbing Palmer over the episode numbering mix-up and his red-light therapy habit.
- 03Kristi Noem Resignation and the Byron StoryA long riff on the Daily Mail photos of Kristi Noem's husband, the security-risk angle, her resignation, and over-under bets on a divorce.
- 04Artemis II Toilet Fix and Christina KochUpdate on the Orion spacecraft's jammed toilet fan and how astronaut Christina Koch became the mission's self-described 'space plumber.'
- 05Qatar Wants the 747 BackDiscussion of the reported formal request to return the $400 million Boeing 747-8 gifted for presidential use.
- 06Pooh Shiesty and the Dallas Studio ChargesFederal kidnapping and armed robbery charges against nine men including Pooh Shiesty and Big 30 over a studio 'meeting' in Dallas.
- 07Fake War Footage and Video Game ClipsMikey shares a viral F-15 shootdown video that was actually ARMA 3 gameplay, sparking a talk about misinformation and SEAL reserve units.
- 08Cigar News: Gurkha Tres Decadas, Davidoff Travel Humidor Urban, Quesada OktoberfestBlend details, sizes, pricing and production numbers for all three releases — plus plenty of skepticism about each.
- 09What's the Score: Lampert Ocean Breeze Toro GrandeThe hosts and guest Chuck guess the review score of this Costa Rican-made Toro Grande, with Chuck nailing the 84.
Brands & Cigars Discussed
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Transcript
Welcome to the news. Hold on. Not ready to go. I need the batteries.
I put new batteries in it. Just said it didn't turn it on. Okay. Ready to go.
If Greg asked, we did not take them out of the TV remotes in this room. I need the batteries. I put new batteries in it. Just said it didn't turn it on.
Okay. Ready to go. If Greg asked, we did not take them out of the TV remotes in this room. I need the batteries.
I need the batteries. I need the batteries. I put new batteries in it. I just said it didn't turn it on.
Okay. Ready to go. If Greg asked, we did not take them out of the TV remotes in this room. Not ready to go.
These are batteries. I put new batteries in it. Just said it didn't turn it on. Ready to go.
If Greg asked, we did not take them out of the TV remotes in this room. Welcome to a Cigar Hustler podcast episode 502. I'm Mike Palmer, your host, and on today's show, we have Phil, who I binge watched the hockey show last night, old buddy McGuffey. I didn't.
I didn't. Did you like it? Was it good? I didn't watch it.
Did you feel, did you feel closer to the Canadian hockey guy? Or was it the Russian hockey guy? I'm a little disturbed that you know where they're both from. We talked about that yesterday.
When Mr. Palmer speaks, you see, like I'm not homophobic, so I listen to him when he talks about things, no matter what it is, because I value everything that he says. You would think the Russian would be sexier with the accent, because a Canadian accent's not, you know, A. It's not as romantic.
Right, not as romantic. You think Russian's kind of romantic? Well, because of Dr. Zhivago, that movie from years ago, which you guys probably have no idea what that is.
You guys probably have no idea what that is. I have no clue what that is. You should watch that. You would like that.
You need to move your microphone, Mikey. I do? Yeah. When you turn your head, I can't hear you.
Oh, yeah. It's on the wrong side. And in your armpit. We'll start over.
No, keep going. We're fine. Yeah. Usually when anything gay gets said, I kind of filter that out.
Sorry. Wow. I didn't know how else to explain that. That's ridiculous.
That's called homophobia. Oh, okay. " Wow. I didn't say that.
I did not say that. Wow. And then my co-host, Mikey, I'm coaching 11 teams now, so I have started my own league, Stefan Kavich. They're all in different leagues.
So it's like an international. Oh, wait, you're doing, is it all the same sport, or 11 teams over the 12 sports that you do? Over the 12 sports. Oh, okay.
We thought it was 11 teams in one sport. No, it's six rec, uh, football, it's two school football, it's one, one school basketball, and then it's two rec, basketball, and a line judge for volleyball. Volleyball's over. Oh, got out of that one.
Doesn't mean he's not the line judge. For next season. Right. Yeah.
All right, on today's show, no drag shows allowed, except the one, my My husband is in. Okay. That's the title. Wow.
Artemis II, you can now do number one. Yay. And if someone named Poosh Heisty invites you to go to a meeting, don't go. Don't go to Poosh Heisty's?
Don't go to Poosh. If he says we're having a meeting and I need to show up, it's worse than the meetings that he likes to talk about over there. Really? Isn't that a rapper?
He is. Yes, he is. And then in cigars, Gurk has finally run out of swag, so here's our newest cigar. " Ooh.
All right. But before we get started, Michael, what are the comments, let's just say, now? You want me to go comments first? And how do we get CH Bud Swag and what is that lovely new thing you're wearing?
Oh, well, this is on Mike. Thank you for that. No, not your heart monitor. Yeah.
Thanks, too. I am wearing the official Master Blender shirt. Yes. com.
Right. It looks like Masturbator from here. Matt, well, that's because you have a dirty mind. It dips in underneath.
Yeah. Well, we have a lot of dirty stories. Yeah. So, you know, kind of poking a little bit of fun here at the industry.
I took this blender and I gave him a black belt. Yes. And I slid in the little Powstanie P in it. Oh, nice.
Oh, where's the P moving in? You can't see it. It's in the belt. It's too far away for you.
I can't see that. Can you blow it up? Yeah. We zoom in for you.
Zoom in? Yeah, when you're 70, you need glasses. Uh, so... That's...
Oh! It wasn't me. Unbelievable. Every day.
So... It's where Senor comes from. So these went... The email went out to our...
Our... Existing customers. Yes, thank you. Our existing customers, they get the...
I had to answer this, I'm sorry. They get the head start. com where you can get all of your chpod industry swag. Buy one, get the second one 40% off, spend $100 or more and get free shipping.
Make sure you like and subscribe wherever you're viewing or listening to this show. If you're a retailer and you're going to PCA or you just hit the Calendly link, I don't know what else to tell you. I've been saying it all for weeks now. You're going to get a hat, we're going to talk, you're going to carry Postana Cigar.
It's going to be the greatest thing that ever happened to you and your customers. And if you already carry Postana, we're going to talk about the new stuff that's coming out. We're really excited about it. So I look forward to meeting you guys and seeing you guys there.
And if you're a media guy, there's a Calendly link for you as well. So go ahead and hit that link below. Now, getting into some of the comments from the show. " Then they make a person look at it and then it went away.
- Oh, okay. - You wanna know what it was? - Yes. - Yes.
- Because you said a doll. - And you're bringing it up again? - Well, we're cleared now, and I'm not talking about the story, but that was the phrase that snagged. - I want you to blurt it out on this one.
- All right. - All right, at about five minutes. But listen, you gotta work on your blurting out things, because like, the sound, it jumps through the roof. It's gotta be...
- That's why it's funny, it's supposed to scare them. - No, no, no, no. - Like a jump scare. - No, no, no, no.
No jump scares. - Hey! - No, you know. Like the confetti cannon wasn't enough.
Well, his voice is so deep. So what? So you got to make it louder to cover it. No, you don't.
Yes, I did. All you got to do is clip it, reduce the sound, and then just put the sound over it. You couldn't with the last one because him and Carney were talking at the same time. Okay.
You had to bleep me out? Yes. We can't talk about it now, or I'll do it again. Yeah, exactly.
Okay. Mike Tsharp4 said, Palmer really needs to get it together, quite the off week with the numbers, etc. Is that Team Money's new handle? Did his red light break?
Have you been redlining? No, I've not been redlining. I think I have time to sit there for 15 minutes under a red light. Yeah, it's no problem.
Bring it over here. We'll dome while you go. And you know, too, you can't plug it into a surge protector. It won't work.
You've got to plug it direct into the wall. Oh, really? Yeah. Why is that?
I don't know, maybe it draws too much power, I have no idea. Interesting, that doesn't make any sense. Yeah, I started doing it when I used to have it next door where we had the office, 'cause there for a while I would use it in the office while I was working. Yeah.
And then it stopped working, but if I plug it into the wall, I don't have that problem. Well, lucky for you, we have plugs on the wall here, plugs on the floor, you can plug, ceiling. Just dome in. Let's go, man.
Because listen, episode 502 apparently was yesterday, or was Friday. Yeah, it's been fixed. But it was 501. I mean, quite the few mistakes.
It's fine. It gives us something to talk about. And my T-Sharp has picked up on it. I don't know who that is.
I like that we have new ones. Me neither. This is the first one. This is the first time.
I've never seen this person before. It's probably all team money. It just has like 20 handles. 20 different accounts?
Yeah. I'll show them. RealSmokePod also said 502? 500 got messed up.
Is Palmer having trouble counting again? Laugh out loud. I'm out loud. You're right.
Never do your show again. You're right, Real Smoke Pod. Don't worry, I'll do your show. No problem.
He's not as entertaining. Whenever you want. Not as entertaining. Yeah, or, you know, Phil.
We got a new customer yesterday. For Phil. Yeah. And I go, "Hey, this is Mike Palmer.
" Yeah. Well, you are the funny one. Exactly. You can have whatever you want.
What do you want to buy? You can have whatever you want. " Thank you. Mike Palmer.
" I tried to figure out how many more years it would take to get to be a thousand? It's not gonna take that long. Yeah, two. Is it just two?
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you're right. Yeah, you're doing five episodes a week.
I'm not gonna make it, it doesn't matter. What? I won't make it that far, it doesn't matter. Two more years?
You're not gonna make it? I'm not gonna make it two more years. You're not gonna make two years? I'm gonna stop taking all my medicine.
You have medicine? Drinking only sugary drinks. All right. So if you want to hear your comment read out aloud on the show, comment below on this episode.
There's a chance that we will, if it's funny, if it's not funny, if it's, I just feel like reading it, it is what it is. If you're making fun of Palmer, I'm definitely going to read it. If you're making fun of Boots, Phil, whatever his name is, I don't know, but he's wearing a funny hat and that's the guy and I'm all for that, go ahead and just do that too. So I'll comment.
I'll read that one out aloud for sure. I'm glad I skated by on this episode. There wasn't one comment about me. You wanna know what it, well, there was some more comments, but like, I'm gonna limit it, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you can't read all of them. Yeah, I'm just gonna do a handful. There might be like nine. Yeah, and, you know, I mean, he's been kind of jacked up as of late.
Yeah, yeah. You know? Riding that wave. Yeah.
Okay, so. Your voice is a little horsey. Is it? A lot of yelling at children last night.
It was horsey a couple days ago, and it's finally getting better. There was, I did have one moment where I knew that I had severed my vocal cords. Oh, dumb dumb for you. No, it was in the backseat.
The kids in the back. It was, you know. Oh, your kids in the backseat? Yeah, it was Teddy and Justice.
Oh. You know? You look back at that fast car of yours? We might have had a C visit out in front of the shop yesterday.
A who? I don't want to say his whole name. The man whose name starts with a C. There was an arch and fries mashed into the sidewalk in front that I had to scrape up this morning.
So there might be like his version of leading a fish on your doorstep. Oh, that's like a threat. That's like a threat. He crushed the, wow.
Yeah, I mean, somebody really didn't like it. I mean, they, it was like two bites and just mashed all over the concrete with fries up by the road. The big arch? Show these guys.
Because it had the two different colored sesame seeds on it. Wow. I like that you could probably identify that it was the big arch. Yeah.
It was obviously the big arch. Your next level. Now, I could see that coming from Phil, but you totally threw me off guard with that. Okay, well, let's get into the show.
All right, you guys familiar with former Department of Homeland Security Secretary, Kristi Noem? Can't say that I am. She's been in the news. Have you spoken about her before?
No, this is the first time, but she's been in the news for a while. She was against drag shows. She was trying to get them outlawed. Ah.
No, I'm definitely not familiar with her. Oh, well, I thought maybe in your circles. Yeah, I'd like to know who she is. Anyway, it came out that her husband is a cross-dresser in private time.
Oh, she's hurt. And they release photos of him. Oh, boy. With her?
No, no, she was not aware. Oh. Whatever. So, Daily Mail published photos and messages allegedly showing her husband, Byron, cross-dressing and communicating with online fetish models.
Byron? His name's Byron. Byron's his name, B-Y-R-O-N. That's not his...
Is there a nationality? Other name? No, they don't, no, Byron's a man's name. Yeah, but he, so, okay.
I mean, I saw some of the photos, they are disturbing, to say the least. Yeah? His other name would probably be like Brianna. Wow.
His family's been blindsided and asked for privacy and prayers. Lots of prayers. I don't, how do you, how do you get blindsided with that? 'Cause you find out your husband's across there.
'Cause the guy's been secretly doing it online. Secretly. There wasn't one sign? Are you saying that there's signs?
Yeah. Have you heard of Bruce Jenner? There's probably signs. There was definitely signs of Bruce Jenner, what are you talking about?
No, his wife didn't know until he came out about it. That's what she said. She was in denial. There's probably signs.
He used to talk about how he liked to paint his toenails and stuff. Right, no not me. He didn't even deny the photos when it came out. He's like, yep, you got me, I like to wear...
I've been trying to tell you at dinner on Sundays. It's gotta be relieving, it's gotta be relieving. Yeah, I would imagine, you know, I don't have to hide anymore. You know, how, he's like, almost to a point where I would be pissed, right?
You would be pissed if you were him or her? If I was secretly doing something for like a long period of time, and it sounds like- Sounds like he's been doing it for a while, and eventually, after a decade, somebody caught it, I'd be like, "Yeah, yeah, you're right. I've been doing this this whole time. " Oh, but you're relieved, but upset.
Yeah, yeah. You're upset that it took so long. Yeah, thanks for finally noticing. I literally tiptoe out in front of everybody every day, and no one caught it.
Yeah, you didn't even ask me about my purses. Right. You know what I mean? Like...
He's been messaging three specific fetish women for years. There you go. Fetish women? Like, men that are women?
I don't know, I'm just reading the story, dude, I don't have, you know, I can't tell you everything, I don't know. But he had, but he has paid the three of them $25,000 to cash app and PayPal. Holy... total, not $25,000 each one.
but over the years he has sent them 25 i imagine for photos or maybe tips on how to get your makeup right 25 large 25 000 tips yeah i'm sure it was tips um you're cracking a little bit who you what do you want me to unplug how bad is there take your phone and remove it from the video s board okay that didn't stop i don't know it's when you start talking a lot i'm talking a No. I won't talk for the rest of the show. Is it still there? No.
Yeah. It's any type of transmission that's close to the board or this. I'm willing to bet. Oh, it could be.
Like I told you, when Preston leaned into the screen, that's when his started. Right. Hey, the photos allegedly show him wearing fake breasts, women's clothes. Yeah?
Sorry. But the problem is she worked for Homeland Security. So counterintelligence experts flagged the situation as a potential security risk. risk how did they like okay noting that if that could be found out other things in their family could be found out and maybe something slips out but she has resigned from her position okay other things i mean what other things well she's department homeland security secretary so she has access to many things and maybe when they get into his you know let's just say photos maybe they also get into the home wi-fi and get into her email and find out she likes to smoke So, I think I'm going to drink cigars too.
Okay, so wait a second. All right, so hold on. Let's just back up. Let's back up one step.
Okay. So, do you think that it is appropriate for her to lose her job in this scenario and for her to step down? I mean, she resigned, but no, I mean, I don't see, unless they're worried about secrets getting out. Okay.
What about you, Phil? Her husband's gay. I mean, why would that? Okay.
Nobody said he's gay. He just likes to wear women's clothes. There is a difference. All right, man.
Whatever. Whatever. No, I don't think she should lose her job. He's been messaging women.
He's not like he's messaging other dudes. How do you know other women? I mean, either way, whatever the scenario is. Whatever the scenario is.
Yeah, I don't think so. I mean, stepping down, you know, if anything, I would have preferred to, yeah, you know what, like, maybe I should revisit how I felt about things in the past and, you know, now that it's so close to me or whatever. Right. Like, that probably would have been a better approach.
If anything, it looks like when someone resigns and steps down and kind of shelters, it looks like they're hiding more stuff, right? Well, I imagine what she's doing. She doesn't want to have to answer the question, so the easiest thing to do is I will just resign, step down, me and my family will go to the church and pray more or whatever it is she decides to do. I think that you got to go through the fire.
Good Friday. I think you got to go through the fire. Well, we're different people than she is, obviously. Well, we're different than every politician that exists?
No, well, yeah, because all politicians don't want to have to answer the stories when they do something bad. Right, well, because they're all, not all of them. They're allegedly, a lot of them are allegedly up to something. What is there to answer anymore?
It's all out in the open, there's nothing else. " or whatever it is, you know? Oh, that's one of the questions. Could be.
Who knows? That's the good stuff. That's what they want to know. They don't want to know, you know, did you type the letter from the governor?
Well, you just answer it. She doesn't want to answer it. I don't know, man. She wants us to go away.
There'll be a divorce that comes out now. She'll get the children. No, they won't. Yeah, they won't.
No way. Yep. You're never gonna hear from this lady again. Wait, what's her name?
They get divorced. Christy something or other? Yeah, Christy something. Okay, what's the over-under on the divorce?
Like, what's the date and time you think that it happened? Oh, within six months. Six months? Six months.
Remember, he is a professional. What about you, Phil? Yeah, you're the gambler. What are the odds?
Oh, the over-under? Yeah, where's your line? Three months. You even went lower.
I'm taking the over. There's no way. Okay. There's no way.
You're taking the over? So what did he say? He's saying more than six. He said three months, you said six months.
I don't think that it happens. If a divorce happens, it's not remotely close to any of this. Okay. This is, in my opinion, the right approach is stand by the guy that you love and figure it out, right?
If he hasn't done anything malice, I mean, like, who knows? I don't know. He sent $25,000 of their money to weird women or something. Could be taxpayer money.
I mean, whatever. Could be. He used to attend sensitive congressional hearings. Oh, boy.
So what? In a dress or in pants? Well, I don't know. Maybe they didn't know he was there.
Maybe he looks really cute. Do you see what I'm saying? If the media tactic is, hey, we're gonna pray and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, then I don't see it ending in- Well, that's what she said. That was her response.
Please pray for us. Yeah, I don't see it ending in divorce. I see them going through a different course of action here. She has a record of anti-LGBTQ legislation in South Dakota.
Yeah. Including efforts to ban campus drag shows. Ooh, South Dakota. So they're definitely getting divorced.
Campus? Yeah, on campus. Okay. Well, fraternities and stuff do those kind of shows.
They make the pledges. Do they? Sure they do. I've seen movies.
I mean, it seems kind of... It seems silly to kind of... Revenge of the Nerds, they all dressed up like cheerleaders. Yeah, movie.
It seems silly to fight some type of regulation on that. It's not like campuses are... Well, that's how she, you know, shows how much she was against all of that. I get it.
And she didn't know one day of this guy doing this. What's his name, Byron? Byron. Trump feels, I feel badly for the family, and I didn't know anything about it.
I had no idea. How would he know about it? " "What? " This is a sin Trump allegedly receives $25,000 from Byron getting...
Oh, God. Okay. Okay, here is why they get the divorce. Okay.
The initial tip may have come from an immigrant sex worker seeking retribution for DHS policies. Nice. Wow. You're not letting me in?
I have pictures of Byron. Wait, that was... How's that sound? That was a very long accolade.
Wow. Immigrant sex worker. Yes, an Immigrant Sex Worker, that's quite the title. So it sounds like, listen, it sounds like it's a little more than just photos.
Right, yeah. It could be. If Immigrant Sex Worker has pictures, pressed the screws here and said, you know. We did a colonoscopy one time.
So look, now that you've kind of said all those things, for me, the way that I kind of view it, - And it's just my perspective, I could be totally wrong, but it sounds like, so this person came out and made these threats and allegations, and in order for them to get ahead of it, she resigned and then announced everything. - Well, the way this reads to me is he leaked tips to the media, and then people started asking about it, you know, they start showing the photos, because it says on March 5th is when she resigned, when the story became public. Right. So, one way or the other.
March 5th? Yeah, it's just been a month. Yeah, it's just been a month. Gotcha.
Okay. All right, we have an update to yesterday's Artemis II story. Thank God. Yeah, let's get away from the first story.
So, there was a... Oh, the first story is hilarious. There was a fan that was a problem with the toilet, I guess. A fan was jammed on the Orion spacecraft's toilet.
So something had broken off and was stuck inside the unit so they couldn't flush, for lack of a better word. Right. So, all the engineers got together, they took pictures and everything, and guess which astronaut fixed it? Uh, the Canadian.
The, uh, is that the black guy? I have no idea. I think the black one. I just know there's one Canadian on there.
I don't know if she's Canadian, but it was the woman. The one woman fixed the toilet. Yeah. She's now calling herself a space plumber.
She's the space plumber. She's the space plumber? Oh, super expensive. She followed guided troubleshooting steps from mission control in Houston.
Astronaut Christina Koch removed components, allowing the crew to clear the obstruction and restore the, how much do you think the toilet cost? $250,000. On this ship? Yeah, on the spaceship.
It's gotta be over a million. $30 million toilet. Yeah. That's a hell of a toilet.
And it broke. Wow. The fart extractor came off. It's all made from metal parts that they made on a printer.
And it was 30 million dollars? 30 million dollars, right. In the wrong business. So shortly after liftoff, the toilet's fan became jammed and a fault light began blinking.
Control identified the fan issue. Astronauts were guided through plumbing tricks to access the fan and remove the blockage. While the toilet was broken, the crew used collapsible contingency urinals. Because, you know, they're talking about peeing, so that automatically everybody has to pee.
Yeah, no kidding. Oh God. What do you mean, I can't pee? Especially if they're, well, how old is everybody, you know?
Uh, they're middle, middle-aged. No, so it's not too bad then. No, no, no. All right, uh, probably your age-ish.
So, so I just looked her up, and it looks like there's a picture of her with an American flag, so I'm- She's not Canadian. I'm assuming she's American. Or she really likes Americans. Yeah, or she's a huge fan.
Damn right. Um, 51st date right here. She also holds the record for the longest single space flight by a woman, In 328 days. Oh, so she's been up before.
And participated in the first all-female spacewalk. She is scheduled to become the first woman to travel to deep space in 2026, on the 2026 Artemis II mission. Oh, this is behind. Now she is space plumber.
And now, dude, I can see the swag. You know what I mean? Like, the story practically writes itself. Right.
Could you imagine what she said when they figured out that the toilet was broke? Oh, wait a second. I know all you guys can pee and poop in bags, but I'm not. I'm gonna fix this thing.
It's gonna be a little harder for her to pee in a bag. But it's weightless, so you gotta catch the pee as it's floating around. I gotta be honest, dude, I had no idea where you were going with that. Me either.
So I was quiet and intent and ready to listen, and I'm a little disappointed. Me too, it'll be a little more sexist. I thought it was gonna be way more sexist than that. Oh, you guys want me to be sexist?
No, no, no, no. The guys are all going, I'm not putting my hand in that toilet, you son of a bitch, get out of the way. Yeah. Maybe we should call up Byron since he's a professional in this now.
In toilets? In toilets? No, in sexist stuff. Oh, sexist stuff.
Gotcha. No, no, he's very female friendly. Well, he knows both. He loves their clothes and makeup.
Big fan of the Kardashian show. Yeah, I would guess. They're gonna have him on the show, brother. If I was her, I'd go, you guys pee in the bags, I fix the toilet.
Yeah. Yeah, that's right. This is my toilet. This is my toilet.
This is my toilet. You don't get to use my toilet. toilet is my toilet christina's toilet that's right right there's definitely no canadian cheeks touching this toilet yeah hey canada hey canada pee in the bag shit in the bag buddy no no you can still poop in it yeah oh no no she took it over well that's right now he's gonna poop in the bag wait wait wait are you pooping or you're peeing because you can't you know what i mean like if you're gonna poop you're probably gonna pee you know so can't slide that oh it's okay - No, no, no, no. - Excellent.
- All right, how do you think you say the country of Q-A-T-A-R? - Qatar. - Qatar? Okay, they gave the president, they gifted him.
I'm not sure, that didn't seem right to me or anything. - That's, wait a second, so you just-- - That's how I went to the next story. - So you circumvented you saying Q-A-T-A-R or something like that. - Yeah, right, right, right.
- Yeah. - Just out of curiosity. - Hey, how do you guys say this? Hey, Phil and Mike, I got a test for you.
How do you just say this word without screwing it up? You know what? This opens up all new reviews we can do for What's the Score? Can I pick names I can say?
I got news for you, buddy. I got news for you, buddy. Now I'm on to you. Now you won't follow me.
I'll come up with something else. And you blew it on Qatar, which is even sadder. Don't worry, I'll come up with some other way. Yeah, he knew we were pretty competitive.
We both said the same thing. He was like, great, yes, I got it. Yes, they got it. I convinced you for two years we were sponsored by a energy drink.
That's because I trusted you. Well, now I don't trust you. You just fell for this one. Yeah.
So anyway, the king or sheik or whoever's in charge of this country gave Trump a plane last year. Yes. You remember that? Yeah, it's in a museum or something, right?
No, no, it's not in a museum. Oh, they gave him a big luxurious 747, I believe it was. Okay. 747-8.
Okay. And Trump has started making it Aircraft 2, basically. Okay. A smaller version of the original.
Well, No, the guy wants it back. What? He wants it back. He wants a refund?
Is that because we're taking oil? S. government for President Donald Trump's use. Why?
He's just, because we're at war with Iran. I guess he likes Iran, or Iraq, whoever it is we're following. Oh, yeah? Yes.
Iran. The jet's valued at $400 million. Well, guess what? You can't do that.
It's ours now. Yeah, it's called, it's called Indian Given. Oh, I wasn't gonna say it. Oh, I'm sorry.
He's not an Indian. I wasn't gonna say it. He wears the pajamas with the hat. Oh, see, there's the racism.
It's already been undergoing extensive security upgrades to serve as a temporary Air Force One, making the move highly significant. Yeah. I'm sorry, I need my plan back. You can't just gift somebody something and then ask for it back.
You are to use it, not have it. Is that how he talks? Yes, that's how he talks. Perfect.
I would like the plane, like... I would like my plane back. Like, no. First, I thought it was the guy that sent the plane to get all the refugees that we were gonna send back to.
Right. But no, no, this plane is much bigger. This is a much nicer plane. It is a much nicer plane.
It's like, hey, no, you don't get to have it. No, it's the best plane. It's the biggest plane. I'm keeping the plane.
Can you imagine, like, I'm thinking about some of the things that I've exchanged, that we've had exchanges over the years. I'm like, you know what, man? I'd like that knife back. I'm going to need that back, yeah, just because, you know, I don't know, whatever reason.
You think you could have just not done it, nobody would bring it up? Because analysts believe it could be recessing its position, reassessing its position and growing military pressure and changing alliances. I need to give it to the Khomeini people. Look, man, you're on our side now.
It is what it is. There's nothing you're going to do. You're on our side. There's no going back.
We're going back. We're friends. We're going to stay friends is what it is. Yeah, you have any oil?
Yeah, they have plenty. No, I'm saying that's what Trump was asking. Oh, yeah. Well, obviously, they're feeling the pressure, you know what I mean?
Like, I don't know. I don't follow politics. Right, so, yeah, somebody's calling him going, "You gave them a plane. " Yeah, like, somebody has bashed this guy several times.
Right. They're like, "Dude, I don't even want to hear it. " Yeah, I don't like it. You gave him a plane.
No, we know whose side you're on, bro. How about I get it back? I'll get it back. I'll get it back.
No problem. We're all smoking the peace pipe. I will overpaint all the American flags on the plane. Wow.
Yeah, it's not like he needs the bunny, you know what I mean? Right. I mean, he's a sheik. It's like pocket change.
Could it just be the fact that he's doing this announcement just to kind of save face at this point? Well, I'm sure he would like them to give it back, too, but that's probably part of it. He's like, "Hey, listen, I gotta make an announcement that things are heating up over here. You know what I mean?
I'm in the middle. " No, what? No, I like the plane, though. I wanna keep it.
Yeah, like, "No, you can still keep the plane. " They put a Doon Desk in. My name is everywhere inside the plane. There are pictures of me everywhere.
Pictures of me everywhere. That's okay. I like them. You can leave them up.
We're friends. But no one has to know. No one has to know that we're cool. We're cool.
Just park it on my runway for a while, you get it back next month. Yeah. I just want to look good here. Under the cover of Dark Days, we will send it back.
What about you, Phil? Have you ever had a gift given to you where you had to give it back? No, and this sounds crazy, because why would you go and ask somebody for your stuff back when he's just carpet bombing everybody? I told you.
Maybe it broke up. Maybe it broke up and he wants all his stuff back. He's feeling the pressure. He's feeling the pressure.
I want my hoodie. I want my hat and my plane. Take it all back, we're breaking up. Did he not see the Club 49 guys?
Like, man, you gotta just leave Trump alone at this point, like, hey man, you know, I gave you that plane, remember? We're friends. We're friends. We're friends.
I know I'm on the list, maybe you can scratch my name off. I know I'm on the list. Maybe move me to the bottom of the list. Well, isn't Qatar known, or not known, but isn't it believed that Qatar is linked to a lot of these terrorist organizations?
Yeah, supposedly. Maybe that's why he gave the plane in the first place. I'm a good guy, you're playing. Yeah, look, we're buddies.
Just don't check in the compartment. He's like, thanks for the plane. That's how I smuggle you in. No, there's ticking.
I see, there's ticking. There's a box of beepers in here. What is it? Here, give this out to the whole administration.
We're gonna send him back with a box of beepers in it. Sure, you can have the plane back. Park it by where they have the meeting. All right.
He should give it back, and then when it lands, it just blows up. Oh. There's your plane. That's not nice.
It's like a reversal. Right. You want the plane? Man, what irony that is.
Okay. All right, moving on. All right, this week, nine individuals, including well-known musical artists, were federally charged for kidnapping and robbing at gunpoint numerous victims at a music studio in Dallas, Texas. Okay.
So, guys, we're going to have a meeting. This is Push Icy? It's Push Icy. I have a list of all the names.
I don't know who they had the meeting with, but I know who called for the meeting. Okay. , aka Pooch Eisty. Okay.
, apparently doesn't have it. Pooch Eisty Sr. , aka Big 30. Big 30, okay.
Kendris Waters, Terence Rogers, apparently no street names for us, these gentlemen. The standard government names they have. Demerian Gibson, Demarcus Glover, Cordae Johnson, and Darian McDaniel called for a meeting in Dallas, Texas with their music industry people. Okay.
We need you to all come to this meeting. We need to talk. We need to talk. Come to the studio.
So they call you for a meeting, you show up at the meeting, hey, how are you doing? Right. " - It doesn't sound like that contract is effective. - Well, and then left.
- Right. - So, they didn't kill anybody, so there's witnesses. - Right. - First rule of taking prisoners.
- Right. - Don't release them. - Don't leave them. - Don't release the prisoners.
- So their phones all pinged, so they were like, it wasn't us, we weren't there, we didn't do nothing. But their phones all pinged there. They rented a car in the city that the meeting was in and the license plate of the car was red as they pulled into the parking garage. Wow, of course it was.
Their fingerprints were all over the room. Okay. " And it was one of the victim's watches. Probably senior.
It looked like a younger guy. It might have been Pooh Shiesty. Could have been the Pooh. I don't know which one's which.
Could have been the Pooh. But now, all nine of them are going to jail for up to life in prison, for kidnapping. Yeah, there's a lot of counts there. Life in prison?
Up to life in prison. That's the maximum you can get. So, for the assault, for the kidnapping, for the guns, for the robbery. Okay, so what do you think happened?
Well, they wanted out of the contract, apparently. And I don't know which music company it was, but apparently they wouldn't let them out of the contract. So they thought, well, here's what we do. Come on, boys.
Let's go to Dallas. Yeah, let's go rob these guys. I mean, you know, they've seen too many movies. You think?
No, because the movies, they kill them. Well, maybe. Well, I mean, they're not, you know, hardened criminals. They're just criminals.
Maybe they're softened criminals. Who knows? Right. They're just regular criminals.
Yeah. Standard, slightly above. But what idiot puts a picture, I'm sorry, alleged idiot, puts a picture on Instagram. A lot of the legends this week.
What idiot holds somebody at gunpoint and goes, "All right, I'm leaving now. " They strangled one of the guys until he passed out. Like, he's not going to say anything? You know, look, if you tell them, we're going to come back and shoot you with these guns.
And I know what time I'm leaving. I'm curious as to how bad was the contract. It must have been probably not that bad, I'm sure. You don't think it wasn't that bad?
I mean, how bad could it be? We take all the money while you sing? Is that why you sing? Yeah.
Okay, so the contract runs out and you go get another one, I mean. I don't know, but if you're dumb and you sign something that, you know. Are you guys familiar with these people's names? I don't know who they are.
No, just the one. I've heard the name Poosh Icy. Yeah. So it's probably not like huge money?
No. It's probably, but like imagine, well, you pretty much work for free anyways, but there's no contract, you know what I mean? Right. No, you choose to work for free, there's, I don't, yeah, you choose to work for free, there's not, you know, as a matter of fact, you owe me 20 bucks, you know what I mean?
Like the, I'm kind of curious as to, I look. There had to be more involved. Like the scary part is, the statement that comes around is, you know, eventually you get to a point where the crowd starts thinking, eat the rich, right? I don't know, but is that an example of this?
Did an artist get taken advantage of, right? And then that artist lashed out and did something entirely inappropriate, but is this that scenario? " i'm not you know i'm not condoning the actions but i'm just simply asking the question is is that's what is that what happened here right i mean look at what happened with the health insurance guy right yeah he he came out of the bed like that guy was ready he came out of a spot where he had no security no nothing boom yeah yeah and he took him out and you know yeah but But he took him out. Okay, yeah, but like, you know, and like, I don't know the exact numbers, but like, half our society are like, yes, finally some redemption.
Right, they were in support of the guy, like, hey, he's fine, plus he's really cute, you know. Yeah, you know, so like, is this situation similar to some degree? I mean, it could be, I don't know. Yeah, it's not like it's over two or three percentage points.
Right, that's what I'm saying. Right. I'm trying to figure out why they robbed them. Because they feel like they owe them money.
They feel like they've been robbed. Like, hey, you owe me money, I've been singing for you for... Right. whatever.
And how much money am I making you and I'm barely getting by? Like, enough. Like, I don't, again, I don't know, I'm just, you know, listen. Sure.
The photos of their injuries, they were all, they had, you know, hoodies on and... It was weird because it looked like they didn't want to be identified as the victims, but they were showing pictures, so like they would have like a bandana up to here so you could see the black eye, and then a hat down so you couldn't see their face. Like they didn't want to show their faces. Right, the victims, the victims didn't, but they want to, you know, look quick, we all got to take pictures of our black eyes and our bloody noses.
Isn't that interesting? Right, but don't get my face. Don't, I mean, don't you find that kind of odd? Right, that's what I mean, it's kind of strange.
I thought that was the bad guys at first. Right. And as I go, no, that guy's got a black eye, that guy's got, you know, bloody nose, and... Well, they're fashionable victims.
Well, they didn't want to be identified. From the image that you could see, did they look like they were younger or older? Middle-age-ish. Middle-age guys.
People he wouldn't like. I know that's kind of a wide range at this point. That could be anything. But you understand.
Yeah, I got you. Of people I will. That could be anything. Right.
Could be any race, but we just know they weren't white. So they were cross-dressers? So they were cross-dressers? Is what you're saying?
Right. So the managers were cross-dressers who allegedly had issues with that. He didn't like being managed by cross-dressers. Exactly.
They should have Diddy'd him. Diddy was not there. What does that mean? Diddy's already in jail.
Diddy's already in jail. What are you talking about? Yeah, well, you know, he killed Tupac, Biggie, all of them. Allegedly.
Oh, yeah. Okay, allegedly, sorry. You have to say allegedly. Allegedly killed him.
Can you prove any of that? Not yet, but 50 will come out with that part. So you can't prove that. As soon as he gets out of prison, I bet you part two of that documentary is going to be, he did it.
I don't think so. I think that if you could prove it, then it would have already been proven. No, not necessarily. They didn't prove the white parties for a while.
I mean, we still don't know who shot Kennedy. Right, right. Oh, now the whole Charlie Kirk conspiracy thing, you guys been following that? Can't say I have.
Can't say I have either. They say the bullet that the guy that doesn't match the rifle of the guy. Oh, yeah, I did see that. Um, I don't know if it works that way.
Yeah, I, I was, I was, I was like, hmm. I don't know if you can trace back a high, well, I mean, we got a gun expert. Oh, if we only knew a gun expert. Oh.
I don't know if you can actually trace a bullet that's like a high powered rifle and link it with 100% certainty to a specific gun. Yes? No? Maybe?
You don't know? Right, so that you can mark the, so he said, you know, depending upon the caliber, you can mark the caliber of the gun, sure, but like, as far as- That exact gun. If you and I both had the exact same gun, could they tilt? Yeah, but it, yeah, it's kind of difficult to do it, 'cause that, 'cause that bullet will break apart more than a bullet from a handgun, I would assume.
Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah. Right? Like a bullet, a bullet from a handgun from here, bang, right?
And then I can take another shot with it into something to test it and say, look, this is a match, right? Right. Okay. Yeah.
So, but you still can't with 100% certainty match it. Right. No, you can't. So there you go.
So, uh, conspiracy, uh, wiped. And, uh, like, I don't even know what you're talking about. I kind of solved that one. You know, I think that there are satellites in space.
I believe now that we went to the moon without question, today, I believe it. Because of the toilet? Because of the toilet? Yeah, because of the toilet.
Because of the toilet? Yeah. Well, they're in outer space. They banged into some satellites, I heard, as they're going up.
They shook the fan loose, and all of a sudden, it's clogged. Yeah. And what about Tupac and Biggie? The conspiracy?
What do I believe? Can we wipe that one? Yeah, can we eliminate that one, too? Let's just go through the thing.
Are birds drones that they're trying to-- No, no, no. Is that a thing? They're actual things. Yeah, that's a thing.
People think birds are drones? Yeah. Yeah. Wow.
The internet has really exposed the crazy. I saw a story yesterday that a suicide drone almost took out the Air Force One. Really? But then when I did research, completely fake story.
You know what's funny is that- But it was a pretty legit looking story. Wait till we get to the video today, you're gonna have a good laugh. Oh. Yeah.
By the way, I saw your kid that's going to the effing moon. I've seen it four times. Oh, you saw him? I've seen it four times.
Dude, that kid was- Why are you so excited? That kid was excited. He was stoked, man. Does your video have anything to do with the spaceship?
No. Is it just another photo? Rocket ship, sorry, not spaceship. No.
Well, there was this, just to talk about, since we're on the rocket ship thing. Okay. There was this one guy, his conspiracy was, is that he had a video of like this fireball that was coming off of the rocket when it was going up in the air, obviously. Yeah.
And he said that there was a guide wire and the astronauts came out of the ship as this thing's launching. No way. At yesterday's? At the launch, yeah.
It was, they came out of the ship and went down the guide wire, and you could see them go all the way down the guide wire, I'm like, they would die. They would get roasted about? That used to be the evacuation programs, like a zip line to get out at the last minute, but now there's something different. Is this the same guy that built the ocean building for the Dolphins?
Yes. The Dolphins told him. The Dolphins told him. I don't know.
This guy was weird, man. Okay. All right. You got a video for us.
I do have a video for you. This is pretty funny. The Master Blender has a video. The Master Blender.
Oh, I let my kid wear my metas today, and I have random pictures of stuff. - Uh oh. - I'm sending you the video. - I have to step away from the microphone with my phone so that way it doesn't crackle.
- So this is funny. So this is, I saw this on the Twitter, and it says video footage of F-19 being shot down from an Iranian missile or something like that. Two or three F-14's have been shot down. And whatever it is, F-14, F-14.
Oh, this is the actual footage of those. Oh, okay. That's what it says. All right.
That's what it says. Okay, so watch the video. Right? There's a plane, there's Johnny Escai, da-da-da.
Look at that. Okay, so you saw it? Hold on, I'm still watching. Why is it funny?
Okay, so you saw it, right? Yeah. Yeah. Alright, so this is the post that I saw.
I was like, oh, wow, look at that. Right beneath it, right beneath it, it says, "False. While the IRGC has claimed to shoot down He has claimed the shoot down of a USF-15E Strike Eagle, this video is from a video, this video is from a video game, specifically ARMA-3. Surface to air missiles move much faster than that.
Wow. So, like, I'm showing you this video because like, this is all the crap that is out on social media, right, and you don't know what to believe and what's real and what's fake at the time. No, like the thing I saw where, um, Air Force One was almost taken out by a drone, was it looked like a legit news story from a news show. Right.
I mean, it was very well done. Yeah. Well, they say, um, I, who is it where we were with, Iran, Iraq, whatever, whoever it is, I can't keep up. Iran.
Okay. They released footage of the Lincoln battleship being sunk. And that was from a video. That was from a video game.
Right. Yeah. So like, what are we doing? We got the boat, look, we got the boat.
We got the boat. We got the boat. Oh yeah, I got a high score that day, that was mine. So is it confirmed that the plane went down or no?
We had planes go down, yes. Have we confirmed that? Yes, yes, I did research when I saw, because like I said, now you can't believe anything you see, so you gotta look. But yeah, they haven't released any details on who the pilots were, I think there was two or three of them that got shot down.
Or maybe it's just one, but before, there were three shot down before that, by friendly fire, that's what it was. I'm gonna laugh right now. " Take us to America. Take us to America.
S. officials confirmed to CBS News that Iranian forces shot down an F-15 on Friday. There you go. They got one.
One crew member was rescued by American forces while a search mission is underway for another crew member. They claim they have him, the bad guys. Well, that's what we want them to think. No, we don't want them to have one of ours.
No, well, we're infiltrating. SEAL Team 12, which nobody ever talks about, is going in right now. That's another one? Well, it's twice as good as six.
Yeah? Twice as good, huh? SEAL Team 12 is a Reservist unit. They're what?
They're a Reservist unit. They're a Reservist unit? That's a real team. What's a Reservist unit?
They're on reserve. It's like the reserve seals, like reservists, part-timers? You call them reservists? Reservists.
They're semi-retired. They're part-timers. Part-timers. Guys that work at like True Value and Chick-fil-A.
So they're like second seed? Breaking case of emergency type guys. Did they not qualify for like numero uno or are they equally as good? Yeah, they go through all the training and stuff, but they just, they're not on active duty all the time.
They didn't feel that they were quite starting quarterback, it was like, their second or third strength. Yeah. So what do they do when they're not Navy sealing? Yeah.
Do they have other jobs? Yeah. They're just walking around? They're just walking around like, they put the oil in the motor and stuff?
I mean, do they, by the way, I finished a- Have you guys ever seen In the Army Now? With Pauly Shore? They are a reservist unit, you don't remember? Well, so like my stepson's in the reserves, so that type of thing?
I didn't know there was maybe SEAL reserves. I didn't know either. Like backups? Yeah, there's reserves and everything.
That's incredible. So they are, so they work at like True Value and Ace Hardware. I don't think they work at True Value. Until they get called up.
I don't think so. They have regular civilian jobs. They have regular jobs. Whatever it is.
I don't think, do they talk about the fact that they're SEALs or they're not allowed to SEALs? You're not allowed to. Yeah, it's a code. It's a code?
Yeah. Do you think he's a SEAL? Him? Yeah.
No. Look at him. Look at him. Look at him.
It looks like it. It's more like a walrus. That's what that phone call was. It was not the VA.
It was not the VA. They're calling him up because that plane went down. S. Walrus 6 is in effect.
It's walrus. Oh, I made a fat joke. You're excited. No, I didn't.
Walrus? No, the teeth. He's got big teeth. He's still making fun of him.
That's what you were thinking, huh? Wow. Gay, fat, big teeth. Wow.
Okay, guys. Whatever. Gay, fat, big teeth. I never called you gay.
Oh, that would be a clinch if I still did the soundbar. You never call him gay. That's not an insult. No, I never called him gay.
First of all, that's not an insult. Do you see this mask? That's not a gay mask. Yeah, what's wrong with the mask?
The one we passed on was a gay mask. Yeah, that's a lovely mask. You're almost a leather-clad bunny face. Listen, we actually got that mask from Byron.
It looked like bondage. Yeah, that was a good one. We thought that you couldn't see the ears. Yeah, the ears stuck up too far.
Oh, that's why you didn't get it? That's why we passed on it. That's why we passed on it. But hey, never say never.
And there was a hole in the forehead. We couldn't figure out what that was for. Yeah, that was odd. That was really weird.
When we got down to the cheapest one possible, there was a hole in the forehead for like six bucks. I'm like, I don't know. Yeah, you'd think that would be down over the mouth. What's in the middle of its forehead?
Yeah. Wow. That's crazy. Thought maybe you could smoke through the hole.
Yeah. Okay. All right, cigar news. Here we go.
Yeah, let's move on. Gurkha celebrates Juan Lopez's career with a special cigar. Oh. Okay.
I know, there's so much you can do with it. Gurga Cigar Group is honoring one of its own with its newest release, Tres Decades. Decades? It means three decades.
No, let him keep going. No, no, no, don't tell him. Tres? Tres.
30 years. It's 30 years. The line celebrates Juan Lopez as the company's VP of sales and his three decades in the cigar industry. It uses an Ecuadorian Habano Oscuro wrapper and Nicaraguan binder grown in the Jalapa region in an all-Nicaraguan filler blend that contains Viso from Condega, Lajero from Esteli, and Seco from Umatempe.
In a press release, the company said the blend was developed with the same patience, precision, and passion that have defined his career. Gurkha made that? Yes, Gurkha made that. I can't go on.
This is just ridiculous. Okay. The line is offered in three sizes. It's a Robusto, a Toro, and a Gordo.
Let's guess the price of the Gordo. Six and a half by 56. Phil? Gordo?
30 years now, gentlemen. Remember, he's been in the industry for 30 years. This is to pay homage to his career. Okay.
120 bucks. Wait, for one cigar? Yeah, that's Phil. Okay.
Okay. You know. Come on. I thought maybe it meant the whole box.
That's for the one. Okay. 16 bucks. He got the price right for the box.
That's why I was confused. So it's a $40 cigar. 50. Didn't you say $130?
Yeah. Yeah. I was like, just the one. Oh, I thought there was only three cigars.
Only three cigars? We only like him enough to make three cigars. Three decades. Here's one, two, three.
There you go. The company's not disclosing where they're making it, but they're making a thousand boxes per size. Lovely. Lovely.
I don't like how you came in on that, though. 99, that's a cigar? I think that's what he was hinting towards, bro. " This is what he was trying to say.
That's what I was trying to say, yeah, I mean, this is, uh, we love you so much Juan Lopez, here's a $12 cigar. Here's, you can get these, you can buy this pack of Chiclets, or this cigar that pays homage to my career. Oh God, I'm gonna get a, someone's gonna be nasty about this one, aren't they? Yeah.
It doesn't sound like a bad cigar. What do you mean? What does it sound, what, he didn't describe it at all. He did, he told you that tobacco was in it.
It's got a lot of, it's got a lot of different tobacco in it. Okay. Yeah, they didn't just go, it's disclosed and tastes just like a Gurkha. Okay.
Does it come with a knife? No, it comes with Juan Lopez. There's no homage there. It comes with Juan Lopez?
Yes. Oh. Okay. It looks like his name should be Larry.
Larry? I'd like to call him Larry. Is he white? Larry Lopez.
Is he white? I don't know why I said Larry. You would like him. Is he white?
You would like him. Well, he said he looks like a Larry. He doesn't look like a Juan. His name is Juan Lopez.
Yeah, but he'd say he looks like a Larry. He's got grayish white hair. Yeah. And he's fair-complected like me.
Yeah, so he looks white, that's what he's saying. That's what I'm saying, he looks like a Larry, I think he looks like a Larry, Larry Lopez. I'm stepping out of this one. That'll be why.
He knows me, he says hi to me by name when he sees me. Does he? Yeah, he'll bring this up, I'm sure. Oh.
He'll go, ah, call me Larry, huh? Yep, exactly, Larry. And we're gonna see you in two weeks. Get one of those knives.
They're gonna say, weren't you worth like 30 bucks for the cigar? Let's be honest. Yeah, let's be honest, that's a little insulting. I said 40.
Right. 'Cause you thought it was a box of three? It was a box of three. You were going single-stick price, dude.
One for every 10 years. You can't fool, you're not fooling anybody. You were going single-stick price, you said 120 bucks. No, yeah, yeah, in the beginning, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, 'cause I was like, oh, okay, this is something that they've never done before, and... Wow, they really fooled me. That guy never came back for Gorgie, either.
Doesn't think money, the owner, who got in trouble. - He's just getting paid. Why thrush yourself? - You said he'd come back.
- Yeah, but you know what? It makes sense. He's had enough. He's getting paid.
You know, and someone else is dealing with the problems. - Right, Juan Lopez. - Yeah. - All right, Davidoff is coming out with their final travel urban humidor.
It's scheduled for June. - Oh, yeah? - So they've made three different ones over the last five years. - I think I saw the email on this.
- You didn't buy it, did you? - No! - Oh. - So the first one looked like a big folder.
Yeah. Alright, the second one looked kinda like a clutch purse. Yeah. The third one, the one they're coming out with now, the third and final one, it's a purse.
Yeah. It looks like a purse. It looks like a purse. They added a shoulder strap to the clutch and now it's a purse.
It's not even a murse or a man's satchel. It is a purse. It does look like a purse. The new Davidoff Travels Uniform Urban followed the release of the Explorer and business models.
The Explorer was the original one. It looked like a folder that you kept cigars in. The business model looked a little more business-like. It had straps that would hold it shut.
And now they've added a shoulder shot. Now they've gone mers. No, it's a full purse. My wife would love this.
Inside the pocket is a removable tray that has slots for eight cigars divided by flexible felt-covered dividers that naturally adjust to the thickness of each cigar or your makeup and your makeup brushes. Maybe that was the goal. Maybe they're like, oh, look, he gives the cigars and he can give this to her and it's a purse. Well, it doesn't come with cigars in it.
It's just the purse. I do like the fact that you can, like the felt casing where you can kind of have mold around your cigars, that's pretty cool. Or your makeup and chapsticks and lipsticks and stuff. It's only on podcast days.
You don't use chapstick? Yeah, but I don't care in my purse, I care in my pocket. I'm going to order this for you. No, you're not, you're $500 a pop.
No, I'm not. When it's closed, a large flap is held in place via a magnet, a manly magnet. A very masculine magnet. Yes.
Devo says that its travel humor can keep cigars fresher up to 45 days by using the included bovada pack. So, you know, there's really no time. So it's older. While the three models function the same when storing cigars, they differ in terms of their external appearance.
One's a clutch, one's a folder, and one's a purse. All right, perfect. All right, let's get to the price. Oh, it has a cream finish, so it gets really dirty fast.
I saw that. It's almost white. So it's $500. $484 and expected to be on shelves by June 11th.
Wow. Where every man can get his purse. Every man can get his purse. Well, Byron's going to buy one.
Byron would love this. We should send him one. Yeah, Byron's a huge fan. Put post on your cigars and send it to Byron.
Here you go, Byron. Here you go, Byron. Here's 11. Only good for 45 days.
You're gonna need to smoke some cigars and chill a little bit. Right. All right, Quesada's Oktoberfest is shipping in September. Okay.
This is the eighth year in a row that they've put this cigar. They've never changed the blend. It is basically the same cigar every year. Every year.
Every year. Same but total. Oh no, 15th year, sorry, 15. Yeah, it did seem kind of light to me because I remember the cigar for a while now, so.
Quesada cigars will release a limited edition cigar named after the annual beer festival. The Cigar Festival, is it really limited if I could have bought it last year too? Yes. How many do they produce?
Doesn't matter, they produce the same one next year. Is it the same size? Yes, all the same sizes, all they do is put a new date code on it. So then it's a new cigar.
Yeah, it's limited. How many do they produce? Hold on, let's find out. Oh, see, that's what it is.
It is the eighth consecutive year that Oktoberfest has used this blend. Okay. So they're putting the cigar for 15 years. The last eight, they phoned it in and just go...
Oh, maybe it's just a successful blend, buddy. Have you had one? No. I had.
They're not successful. Allegedly. Allegedly. You're hard in the paint today, buddy.
Yeah. It's the beginning of the week. You chose violence. The beginning of the week.
You leave for the PCA soon. Be careful. You guys say that every year. The cars are being made at the Tabaco De Exportation Factory in the Dominican Republic.
Export, I don't know, that's as close as I'm going to get. Exportation. Okay. For 2026, the company is releasing the same five fatolas that were available for the last eight years.
That includes three core sizes of Oktoberfest that are typically released each year, the Bavarian Das Boot, Uber, as well as the Boxpress Kaiser. Do you think they have to get Uber's permission to use the Uber name? I don't think so. Different industry type thing?
Yeah, I don't, I don't know what that term means. Uber? Yeah. It means drive me in your car.
No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't. I'll look it up. The fifth cigar in the Salomon, Presfetola, a double perfecto with round tapered ends on both sides, with nearly seven inches long body, and an aggressive box press in the center.
50 per cigar. Uber is a prefix meaning "over", "above", "beyond", or "super", derived from German. Yeah. Well, it's Oktoberfest.
It's uber-good. Uber-good. Any statements from Quesada about that? Production is limited to 500 boxes.
Yeah, that's not a lot. Each for total or 500 total? Production is limited to 500 boxes. That's all it says.
So it's limited. It's very limited. It's probably 500 each. This will be the last year they use this blend.
Everybody's gotten tired of it. Okay. Allegedly? Yes, allegedly people are getting tired.
Now it's time for the industry's favorite game. What's the score? Today's cigar, January 3rd, 2026, Patrick Legreed Cigars. It's a Costa Rican cigar.
It's a Costa Rican? It's a Costa Rican. Costa Rican? Yes.
The guy who wants the plane back. That's how he says it. That's how he says it. The Lampert Ocean Breeze Toro Grande.
I like the name. Patrick? That was nice. Patrick.
You want me to, did you want, you went, I went first last time, right? Yes. You go first. 85.
86. Cigar, is he Lampert, would you like to play Charles? Just call him Chuck. Charles, I said Charles.
Just yell at a number. Just yell at a number. Whatever your favorite number is. No, it's okay.
No, it's okay, he's good, he's just watching. He said 13. Ah, he's playing the long game. Yeah, it's a good strategy.
So the Cigar Reviews, the Lampert Ocean Breeze Toro Grande, is from Costa Rica, Tabacos de Costa Rica, Ecuador & Habano Wrapper, Ecuador, Binder, Filler, Nicaraguan, Peru, and Undisclosed. Ah. Links six and a half by 56, it's a round cigar, gentlemen, and they smoked three. Phil?
85. I think it's gonna do okay, I'm gonna say 89. This is Charles, I'll take 13. Chuck?
Chuck? 13 again? He's gonna be sticking with 13. This cigar really sucks, I'm feeling it's 13.
This cigar really sucks, I'm feeling it's 13. This cigar really sucks, I'm feeling it's 13. This cigar really sucks, I'm feeling it's 13. This cigar really sucks, I feel it, it's a team.
Holding fast. Clue number one, the Ocean Breeze Toro Grande delivers a smooth, refined experience with excellent balance, notes of cedar, light spice, and a subtle creaminess, making an easy, enjoyable smoke from start to finish. Phil? Sounds, uh...
Not good. Eighty-six? Sounds not good. Eighty-nine.
14. Chuck said 14. 14. Oh, he's going up one.
Clue number two. Construction is spot on. Great draw, even burn, plenty of smoke output. The blend feels well thought out, offering a mellow to medium profile that still keeps your attention.
36. 36? Thinking. 87.
7? 87. No, that yielded 7. 7.
89. Chuck? 16. He said 16.
Oh, it's going up. It's going up. All right, third clue. While pleasant, the flavor profile can feel a bit too subtle at times.
Muted. The depth of transitions that more experienced smokers might be looking for at this price point. Mmm. Mmm.
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
Is that the final? No. Okay, good. Final thought is next.
85. I think he's never played the game before. 87. Chuck?
What did Chuck say? 27. Oh, he's really jumping that. Yeah.
All right, final thought. The Lampert, this is the last clue, Chuck, to see it. The Lampert Ocean Breeze Toro Grande is a bit of a confounding cigar. With a name like Ocean Breeze, I was somewhat expecting a lighter, airier, mellower profile than what I got.
That's not to say there weren't moments where I got that profile and the portion where I started thinking about having a daiquiri was almost spot on with what I have envisioned. It's funny, now they're being funny. No meditating. He's sleeping, flip to him.
On the flip side, I certainly wasn't expecting, I'm not allowed to yawn, but he can actually take a nap. I certainly wasn't expecting a cigar with the roughness and irritation that was so much part of the second cigar, I'd love to have the ability to take the best moments in the three cigars and create a single cigar that shows off the best of the blend and is up to the level of construction that each cigar exhibited. I'd still suggest giving the blend a try, but the variance is these three cigars leaves me reserved about offering a full recommendation. Nah, oh wait, it's your turn.
All the cigars taste like crap, but if you take this one thing in each one of them. If you docked them all together, if you just docked them all together. If you take the three of them, wrap them together as one cigar. These are the hardest ones to really guess because it sounds like it was good and then all of a sudden it's like, you know, it wasn't really good at all.
It wasn't really good at all. I really didn't like it much. And then you're like, is he going to go 60s, 70s, or 80s? Like, 79.
Oh my god. What do you want me to do here? Do you want me to go for it or do you just want me to win? I'm not telling you.
I just want to know, do you want me to go for it or do you want me to win? I want you to pick Chuck's number. What's the difference? I can pick a conservative number and win.
Oh. Or I could stretch it a little bit higher and try and go for the dub. Go for the dub. It's more fun.
I mean, don't just beat him. Win the game. Well, I'd win the game if I beat him. Yeah, I know, but sometimes I get a little disappointed when you guys just try to… Who does?
I do. Oh, you get disappointed. I do. You guys just go, oh, he said two, I just have to say four.
Right. You know, because I know it's not one or three. But we're usually pretty close, though. We're not off by a lot.
Sometimes. Eighty-five. Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck. What does Chuck say?
No, let him guess. Let him really guess. Chuck, Chuck, go ahead. Go ahead, Chuck.
Come on. Definitely in the 80s. Yeah. I think he's right there.
All right. Did you look it up? No. He doesn't go to halfway.
He makes guns for a living for that sake. Just throw one out there. He's going to say 84. He wins!
84! Oh! Oh! That's where I was going to go.
But I was okay with 85. Yeah. Well, you didn't, and Chuck did, and he won. Well.
So neither one of us won today. Thanks, Chuck. That's not how it works. That's not how it works, buddy.
You lose. You lose. Yeah, you lose, though. Yeah, I win.
It's me versus you. Chuck was just the bonus round. All right, anybody got anything else? How do you give this cigar an 84 and it didn't a third of each cigar or two thirds of each cigar didn't taste good?
I like that Phil's always outraged. Yeah, he's always upset. Yeah. The problem is the guy that might have given a cigar a 60 or a 72 might not have been this gentleman.
So maybe for him, a terrible cigar is 84, where for Charlie, a terrible cigar is 72. Well, but he thinks that Charlie's the nicest. Yeah, he is pretty nice. I think he's the most critical.
He is the most critical. This cigar got a B for not being good. This is not an ABCD type thing. Yeah, it doesn't work.
Okay, it's 16 away from 100. There you go. Yeah, that's crazy. It wasn't terrible.
There were things in each cigar that he liked. It's not the entire cigar, so it didn't get in the 90s. Who makes Lampard Cigars? Who was it?
Some factory in Costa Rica. Yeah. All right. Anything else to add?
Unless we want to announce what's going to happen tomorrow. Tomorrow? I think when this is going on, we'll probably... Oh, this will be Monday.
It'll be too late. So it depends on what time they watch the show. If they watch the show early, when we record, we'll go Facebook Live on what's the score. I was talking about Saturday morning.
He's talking about, yeah. Oh. So we're doing both of these. Yeah.
Well, I'll start doing it tomorrow. It'll just be a smaller one because we only did the front end of two days. So we hope everybody enjoyed the Saturday morning cartoons. Hope everybody enjoyed, yeah, enjoyed the Saturday morning cartoons.
But you can't call it Saturday morning bloopers or something like that. Why can't I call it cartoons? I think it'd be funny. Well, it should be based more on what it is.
Saturday morning bloopers sounds better. Yeah, but from the old days, when guys my age, we'd get up to watch Saturday morning cartoons. I wanted them to be excited and get up and watch. Not having somebody on Saturday is a complaint I have heard from people.
All right, so Saturday morning bloopers. Saturday morning smoke. I'm going with cartoons. You want other people to find it.
They're not looking for cartoons. If you type in cartoons, it doesn't make sense. The Cigar Hustler Podcast will be the name they'll be looking for. Yeah, Saturday morning.
So you think people are looking for bloopers? This is when the domestic violence happens right here, fellas. Because we just announced it on the show. Well, if we announce cartoons, they'll be looking for cartoons.
If you put cartoons, I'm tinting it. All right, Tom, Jerry, settle down. I hate it when mom and dad fight. Take your mask up over there, sweetheart.
Wow. I hate it when mom and dad fight. Sounds like a thing Byron would say. All right.
Hey, I don't know if there's any of these left at this point. How many did you make? Not many. I don't know the number.
There's one left. I think that there's, I think that maybe I made, produced 10 films or something like that. So 10 of them. Right.
The one on Mikey's body is $200. com. It's a little stretched though. They like that.
It's a shmedium. com and get your Master Blender shirt. Bing bong. Thank you.
Like and subscribe. We're reviewing or listening. Thank you very much. Bye.
Bye.
Show Notes
Wigs, Space Pee Pee, Pooh Shiesty and Juan Lopez We’ve Got Us A Show!
On today’s show “No Drag Shows Allowed except the one my husband is in?” , Artemis II you can now do #1, and If someone named “Pooh Shieisty” invites you to a meeting don’t go! Then cigars Gurkhas has finally run out of swag so here is our newest cigar!, I keep my cigars in my purse?
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https://calendly.com/mike-v-0/powstanie-meeting-pca-2026-booth
If You’d Like To Make A Media Appointment Click The Link Below
https://calendly.com/mike-v-0/powstanie-media-meeting-pca-2026-booth-4841