ACHP Episode 503 From IKEA Survival to Space Launches… and Espinosa Bringing Heat

Transcript

Music playing Am I going live today or now? It's up to you. We haven't advertised it. But you said you don't want to advertise it.

Just for what's the score at the end. Yeah. It's fucking ridiculous, so the auto-focus doesn't do it now. I saw somebody that had theirs.

Had their what? Microphone? Yeah. Where did they have it at?

It was right up here. Oh. I've seen a lot of people that hold it, but that just seems silly. Yeah.

Does this sound okay, Boots? Check, check, check, check. No headphones. He doesn't have headphones?

Well, he has them. He just doesn't have them on. Go again. Check, check, check.

Mike, check, one, two, one, two. Sounds good. Check, check, check, one, two, one, two. Yep.

If it sounds good, then I'll start keeping it up here. I'll start keeping it up here. Sounds good. I'll keep it up here.

" I have debris in my eyes. Debris? Debris. Yeah.

Do-wa-diddy-diddy-dum-diddy-doo. Today's show brought to you by Two Guys in New Hampshire, we are the new influencer for the Two Guys Cigar Shop. Are we? Get all your cigars at Two...

No, nobody applied. You didn't apply? He wouldn't let me. Are we blooper-ing right now?

Is that what's happening? Are we recording? Oh, you should be recording. I need that for Saturdays.

Yeah, I've been recording. We had over 30 views on Saturday. Really? Yeah.

Yeah. Look at that. First time. First time.

If I hit this, it's now it's on autofocus. Oh, is it saved? I don't fucking... I don't know.

On the screen is me. Oh, he turned around. He's blurry too. I'm blurry too.

To me, it looks normal. How funny is this autofocus? Focus. Okay.

We impressed him tomorrow? Yeah. How exciting. Well, supposedly.

Supposedly. Yeah, he might divas at the last minute. Oh! Don't you talk about Mike Preston.

I can't make it tomorrow. I need you get, oh, why are you sideways? He's autofocused. Oh, my camera's great.

Yeah. 1975 Nikon XO works great. We should get three of those. We just need $75.

-No, it's Monday. Where's the BDP shirt? I don't know. -I wore the Mr.

Magoomer shirt. -Oh. -I wore it last week. -You can't wear it.

I thought you wore it every robe. -Back up off me, dude. I'm doing my best. I'm doing my best.

-I thought maybe you forgot it was Monday. -I don't know what the hell you want from me. -Did you leave it at Preston's house? -Yeah, I left it at Preston's house.

-So Preston has to wear it tomorrow. -Preston's gonna wear it tomorrow? -Yeah, Preston's gonna wear it tomorrow. -Here, you left your shirt at my house.

-These chairs are weird today. It's okay. -Why are they weird? I know why.

Does yours feel gritty? He's already seen it because he walked around. Yeah. What has he seen?

The remote is there. Everything's there. The two things that sound like nuclear subs behind you. Can you hear them?

Are you looking at me? I don't know. Yeah, I can hear them. Can you hear them right now in the background?

When your head phoned up? No, there's no way. Look on the green thing. Does they register?

No. Nothing's registering. No, then you can't hear him. Yeah.

Like his brain. Nothing's registering. Wow. Wow.

Oh, and a gong. We have a gong! That's nice. Okay.

Well, I'm ready when you are. You got everything there? Did you get the cigars? Yeah.

So you have your scale, you have your remote, your remote, your lighter. I got my scale, got my remote. Red Bull? No Red Bull.

No, I don't eat Red Bull. Oh, he's awake. We dropped some, uh, yeah, I didn't get to the gym today, which is bullshit. Dropped some amphetamines this morning?

Dropped some amphetamines this morning. Alright, we're recording, correct? Yep. Welcome to a Cigar Hustler Podcast, episode 503.

I'm Mike Palmer, your host, and on today's show, we have Phil. I'm not pooping until Artemis II's bathroom gets fixed. McGuffey. Hello.

It's already fixed. It's broke again. It broke again? We'll get into that later.

Okay. And my co-host, Mikey, I can eat candy now. It's after Easter. I know, but I did kind of fall off.

You, you did the- I did. You were eating donuts, and I was- - In Alabama. - Yeah. - Jesus could see you.

- Sorry, Jesus. - What's the punishment for that? - He died for my sins, so it's okay. - Oh.

- That's how that works. - So what's the point of hauling out for the 30 days, then? - It's good for you. - It's 40, isn't it?

- 40? - Yeah, it's like 40 days. - 40-something days. - Yeah, it's 40 days.

- And if you go to church on Saturday instead of Sunday, it ends a day early. - Oh, yeah? Is that how that works? - That's what I was looking for.

- Congratulations. - It's Saturday night. It's over, yay, we're all done. Right, in today's show, I forgot to make a today's show thing, so in today's show a woman gets fired.

Okay. We have three young ladies who got arrested on an airplane. 9 grams. We have an Artemis II update.

It's still an hour and 45 minutes before they hit the other side. Okay. And then in cigars, we've got a whole lot of stuff coming out from Espinosa. Oh, really?

For the PCA. That's cool. Yeah. " Before we get started, Michael, how do I get the shirt you're not wearing today?

Well, I released the Master Blender shirt yesterday. Yes, I saw the email. And, um... How many did we sell?

We sold a few, bud. So let's start there. Did we sell out? No, we did not sell out.

I like when we sell out, people. Can we sell out, people? We did not sell out? No.

There's still some left. Not very many. There's still some left. Little disappointed.

I'll be honest. Well, man, we got some orders, boy, I gotta tell you. No, no, I'm happy for the orders. Okay.

So, shout out to Jesse Marquez, Mark Palmer. There you go, buddy. Christopher Weiss. Keep it in the family.

Corey Davis, Julian Gordon, and David Hoffman. All nice fellas. All receiving, I believe, Master Blender shirts. com Where you buy one Get the second one 40% off Spend $100 or more And you get free shipping Free shipping?

Yeah That's just crazy That's wild You know what's funny Is I ordered like this Finished sauna From Nurik Cover Did you get free shipping? I haven't gotten The package It's been like two weeks A sauna? Yeah - Yeah, it's like a zip-up one, because-- - Oh, the one you're telling me about, yeah, it sounds terribly claustrophobic. - You're terribly claustrophobic, yeah.

- No, it sounds terribly claustrophobic. - It's got a window, so-- - It just means people can see me panic. - So what's funny to me is like, they have updated the creating label, like two weeks ago, like label created. - Oh, for the shipping.

- And they've never shipped it. I'm like-- - Yeah. - Man, can you imagine if we handled business like that, like, and I emailed them, I was like, hey, what's going on? " Why can't you be proactive instead of reactive?

I don't understand what's going on here. So who did you order from? Mr. Wang's House of Sweat or something like that?

That was it, that was it. " I don't care. Well, based out of Iran, so. Oh.

Yeah, it's stuck in the Strait of Hormuz. The Strait of Hormuz. If I was them, that's what I would have said. Well, sir, it was coming from the Straits.

Tell your president to get it next. Unfortunately, your sauna burned down as the ship tried to pass. All right. They shot him.

They're doing no good. Like and subscribe wherever you're viewing or listening to this show. Got a few comments today. Oh!

A few comments today. Palmer, I like your Miami Vice-type look. Yeah, it's what it looks like, huh? No, my wife bought me this shirt over the weekend, I told her I'd wear it today.

Oh, nice. " Yeah. " You're like, you're officially like, that's geriatric retired shirt. Like the teal with the vacation.

Oh, the teal was the only color it came in. Like the Ron, exactly, the Ron John Surf Shop appeal. Oh, we were, we did get it at the beach. Yeah, exactly.

That's, you've arrived. Congratulations. I have other shirts like this. I just don't wear them here.

Well, if you got a master blender shirt, that's also smoking on the shirt as well. Yes, but that's not, we were like out somewhere and saw something that, you know, about cigars. He's a cigar guy. He's got to have this shirt.

It's a great shirt. I need an extra large. I like it. On the back, it's much bigger.

That's nice. It's nice that you support your wife. But the shirt's terrible. The shirt's what?

Nothing. Wow. T-Money says... Isn't it about time for your wife to call?

T-Money, wow. Probably. You gotta attack mine! Ding, ding, ding, ding, round one!

I didn't attack yours. Why, you couldn't get here because your wife doesn't have an assistant anymore. Leave me out of this. You're her new assistant, if you haven't noticed.

Alright, couple comments. Team Money says, "Noam didn't resign. Trump fired her on May 5th for controversy over a $220 million ad campaign. " Potato, potato, who knows?

Yeah, we don't fact check. You don't fact check. This is like cigar lounge conversation. This is pretty much what this is.

Whatever the last news story was before the show that I read. So we're just kind of rolling through and, you know, we're having a good time. Hey, I heard this thing about this lady whose husband likes to wear these big fake boobies. You're not gonna believe this.

Did you watch Saturday Night Live this weekend? I did not. I just saw clips. I just discussed this with Phil over there.

They had a woman dressed up as a man, as a woman, with big giant fake balloon boobs under her shirt. Nice. And that was the husband. So we have so-and-so's husband here today.

Nice. And then the nipples. They had one nipple going this way and the other one going this way. Oh, yeah.

He's explaining why it's so nice and how pretty he looked. It was fun. CW6383 says Palmer chose violence today. I don't remember what that is.

I'm not denying it, I just don't remember what it's in reference to. I believe it. " Laugh out loud. True.

He's military also. Yes. Why are you such a homophobe? What do you think that is?

Somebody tried to touch your ship when you were in the Navy? I don't think I'm a homophobe, I think I just don't like them. Them. That's called homophobia.

I think somebody... Maybe. Somebody inspected his boat. I feel like we have to incorporate something into this to try and break Phil of his homophobia.

What, you want me to become gay or something? I mean, I don't understand. No, no, no, just don't dislike them. You don't have to be gay.

Yeah, you can just accept people for who they are. Well, I don't just go around saying I hate gays. I don't say that. Oh, you know what this show.

No, I don't. But it makes you extremely uncomfortable for some reason. Yeah, I mean, listen, I'm sure there's gay people that come upstairs and I don't say anything. Yeah.

Okay. Hey, welcome to the newest member of the show, please come on in! Yeah. To Bubbles.

Our co-engineer, Transvesta. We need to find, we need to find somebody that has a really high flame and bring them in and like slowly get him comfortable interacting with Phil. Oh. I was here when that one guy worked here.

That one guy, yeah. That one guy. I didn't want to say the name. Oh, he would be perfect to bring on, too.

That would, you know what? Too bad we haven't seen that guy in a while. I didn't freak out when he was here, though. That'd be cool.

Get him to sit in every once in a while and, like, ask him questions and, like, force fill through the interactions so that he got comfortable with people. You can ask him anything. He's very forward with whatever you want to know. He doesn't get offended.

Yeah. He wasn't ready for it with all that. So yeah. We're going to try and help our friend.

Help me what? I'm perfectly fine. I'm perfectly fine, don't bring him back. You can't even get the sentence out.

As he's wearing his Vegas-friendly mask, I'm perfectly fine. I'm perfectly fine. I have to wear this because of you guys. Yes.

Yeah, but we only make you wear it for the show, not all day long. Yeah, you don't have to leave with it. I don't wear it all day long. What are you talking about?

Okay, whatever. Okay, sure thing. For the Patreon. Uh-oh.

What are we smoking for the Patreon? We are smoking the Pa-pow. The Pa-pow? Uh, it's really shiny, but kind of.

Very shiny. Yeah, it's just the label because it's silverish. Wait, we can't afford those. We can't afford these.

We can't afford those? The Atabe Lanceros. Oh. I was super excited.

I purposely ordered this cigar for me. Just for the show? For me to try. Oh.

So we're going to be smoking this for the next four weeks. Yeah, we can't smoke any other cigars. com, A Cigar Hustlers podcast. We do a release every week, right?

And I said, A Cigar Hustlers, A Cigar Hustlers podcast. And I said, A Cigar Hustlers, A Cigar Hustlers podcast. com a cigar hustlers podcast um we do a release every week yeah right and i said a cigar hustlers podcast because palmer always corrects me if i don't say a before you can't find it see there is a difference there it is apparently there it is so uh we're gonna get into the cigar be careful it's very expensive yeah no shit don't throw this Oh, that one's broken, that one's cracked, it was a short throw, it was, I apologize, all right, we moving on, uh, yeah, sounds like everything, moving on, all right, a woman was fired after clocking in from the beach, three states away, clocking in, yes, okay, so anyway, the way the story goes, four months ago, she decided to work from home one day, anyway, okay, that's fine, and then she took a little - She went to a vacation and had to zoom in one time during her vacation because she was away, nobody noticed, so she decided to stay on vacation. - Step up.

- Okay, well, what's wrong with that? - Well, apparently they frown on that. I don't know either because all her reviews were good for the last four years, or four months, whatever it was. All the reviews were fine, she made all the meetings, she did a meeting for a She set up a shower curtain behind her so it looked like her own house and they didn't know, she did one from, or they did a, they did an after-hours cocktail thing so she went to the tiki bar and zoomed from there and said, you know, I'm working, so, uh, so, but, um, they got her on fraud.

Okay, so I'm curious as to how that- She was terminated. I'm curious to see how that, how that happened. She had to do something because- Oh, the way they caught her? I know how they caught her, but yeah, they had to do, for some reason, they, apparently, the way the story reads, they were mad because she fooled them.

Oh, you tricked us. You tricked us. I mean, look, here's, like, listen, if you were remote all the time, and you never came in, and you figured out how to do all of these things, and you continue to crush, like, what? Yeah, why would you care?

Yeah, where's Palmer? I don't know where the hell he is, Bora Bora? Like, I don't know, here are the 75 orders that he got in today. But my employment contract says I'm remote, not I have to work from this address.

Right. Well, they only let her work, yeah, I guess. I mean, they thought she was 12 minutes away, but she was four states away. Okay.

And? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know why they fired her either. Now, here's the flip side of that coin.

Here's what I will argue. A lot of people cannot operate and work well remotely. Sure, right. Other things get in the way, there are plenty of other distractions, like sand and the ocean, you know what I mean?

So, if she wasn't delivering, then that's a whole different thing. Like, hey, listen, I'm looking at your reports and you're really not doing your job, so you go ahead and stay on the beach. Yeah, she, you know, did her FaceTime or whatever in a bikini. No, she was dressed, I mean, she went in a bikini, right.

Right, that's what I'm saying, like, she didn't do that. Right, there was nothing inappropriate going on. She attended 87 virtual meetings. With a plain beige shower curtain hung behind her on her desk to replicate her home wall, all emails, reports, and deadlines submitted in time without a single misdeliverable.

Two team happy hours attended via Zoom from a beachside tiki bar. She is described as having excellent Wi-Fi. All hands presentations were delivered on time. She did one from a paddle board in a sheltered cove.

Damn. Why would you fire her? She's so, you know, innovative. She maintained full productivity throughout.

Her performance reviews during the period were described as strong. Her HR manager told HR she seemed more relaxed lately and had a nice glow about her. She had a good tan. She's crushing.

Right. I mean, you know, you ever see, like, remember Good Will Hunting? Yes. " You see this?

That's exactly what's going on here. She just nailed it, and what happened is the other people, there's probably a mutiny on their hands. Probably. " "This is bullshit.

" "She's doing everything. " Like, "Well, listen, Bill, you don't operate at the same level that Sally does. " Yeah, Bill, it's not my fault. You're a bad negotiator.

Yeah. So she got caught, one of her colleagues sent a DoorDash gift card to her home, she obviously wasn't there, the neighbor received it and said she hadn't been here in months, we hadn't seen it. Oh, the neighbor fucker. Well, the DoorDash thing.

" That's even worse. I know. Can you imagine, like, unintentionally getting that person fired? You sent them a gift.

That means that you cared enough about them. Right. Somebody did. It wasn't HR.

It was just somebody she worked with. Phil sent her a gift card. Right. And then they reported it unintentionally, I would assume.

Well, it came back. Nobody accepted it. Right. " "Hey, I sent a gift card to Michelle and she hasn't been home since June," they said.

Right. " Is everything all right there? So how did they find her? Because of the gift card thing.

They Zoomed her. They gift carded her. You know, the gift card got returned. They found out she had been home since June, so somebody probably called her and goes, look, the gig's up.

We know. Not even a warning. They just fired her? She was terminated for fraud.

What is the company? No way. Oh, they're not giving the name. Doesn't say?

No, no, no. She told HR the arrangement proved remote work could function anywhere and offered to submit her four-month performance data as supporting evidence. HR did not accept the evidence. The base shower curtain is still in the rental unit.

Michelle has a tan that her termination paperwork cannot explain. So yeah, they just flat out fired her for lying, I guess. I don't know. That sounds kind of wack to me.

Sounds like she's got like a lawsuit. Retainer. Yeah, no kidding. " Well, she was really tan.

And how did you know that she was at the beach? Well, she was really tan. You can't keep using that. Yeah, I mean, if she delivered, what's the problem?

That's the problem. Did she not do any work? No, no. She did everything.

Everything was just fine. Right. She wouldn't accept the gift card from her co-worker. Phil, who was congratulating her.

Right. Said Phil. No, I think the reason why it happened is because the people who aren't as equipped as her and able to handle working remote, and they're pissed off because they're stuck in the office all the time. Stuck in the cubicles.

Yeah. Right. She's zooming from a paddleboard. Right.

This isn't fair. Instead of them trying to figure out, hey, what the hell am I doing wrong? How do you fake the background from the panel board? I guess, hit the green screen button on the thing?

I don't know. That's what I said, this lady is innovative, bro. Like, why would you fire this type of person? Right.

She's great for your company. Yeah, how did she not get caught? Yeah. Right.

Oop, laptop got wet. I think she's got a lawsuit on her hands. Oh, I think she does. Oh, yeah, no, definitely.

Oh, yeah. False termination or whatever else it's called. Yeah, I did my job. I did my job.

I did my job. Sounds like she's got a good paying job, too, so it's probably gonna be a lot of money. I mean, it was enough to make the news, so yeah, you're right. Alright, we got a Florida man.

Uh oh. Okay. Florida man was arrested after living in an Ikea for 11 days. Nice.

People thought he worked there. Oh, yes. He ate all his food in the cafeteria. Smart.

Slept in one of the beds at night after everybody left. Perfect. During the day, he would walk around with an Ikea vest on, It sounds like charitable labor right there. Right.

After 11 days, people are like, "Why is this? " He hasn't bathed. He probably just needed it. He probably cleaned up in the bathrooms at night or something.

Yeah. Sink showers. The last customers he helped were two people in the lighting department. They said he was a wonderful man.

He seemed to know the products well and he helped them make a decision for new lights in their house. He's been studying them for 11 days. But they're getting in for trespassing after spending 11 consecutive days living inside the Ikea over on I-Drive. Oh, this is close.

It's local. It's local. It's a lovely, it's a lovely Ikea. I've never been in that one.

I haven't been there in a couple of years. Yeah, he was sleeping in the bedrooms, eating from the cafeteria, moving through the store with such purpose and familiarity that four employees asked him questions. He answered each one correctly and one manager scheduled him for Thursday to cover another employee. Nice.

They put him on the schedule? Well, one guy, hey, Phil's not gonna make it anymore. Can you cover for him? I don't see you on the schedule.

Sure. I'll cover for Phil on Thursday. So he got arrested? For trespassing.

Do you think once he makes bail or he's released, maybe they hire this guy? I mean, the best ability is availability. The guy was there for 11 consecutive days. I think...

In a row? He was there so much to a point where they were looking for him to fill in for other people. Yeah, I think what's going to happen is I think a lawyer, because this is Florida and we know the ambulance chasers are here, I think a lawyer in Florida is going to grab ahold of this guy and go and sue Ikea for labor laws. You can't.

They put him on a schedule and he had a vest. Oh, we don't know if they wrote his name in. They just asked him to cover. Yeah, they asked if he could fill in.

Yeah, they still, I mean, I don't know, man. Florida is such a weird state when it comes to all that stuff. - It's a really weird state. - Sounds like a man who has some experience.

- But you should definitely-- - He has some experience in lawsuits. - You should definitely follow this guy though, this story. - Yeah? - You should follow up on this Palmer and see what happens.

- All right, we'll see what happens. - All right, so hey, listen. You're a little wishy-washy, right? Maybe you're, you know, a couple cards short of a full deck.

And you're looking for a place, a store, a department, We were like, "Hey, you know what? I can wear the vest. " What is the ideal store for you to stay at? Well, do I have to be a couple of cards short of a full deck?

If you're smarter, this guy, he ate three meals a day. He paid for them in cash. He didn't steal anything. He rotated the linens every three days on the beds he was sleeping in.

So they didn't even know. They didn't even know. You know, he made the bed up every morning. So it's not like a homeless guy that just, you know, figured it out.

Yeah, so I think that, you know, maybe there's something wrong there. But, okay, let's just say, okay, I'm gonna walk it back and say, you have the full deck. Where do you stay? What's your department store?

What's the store that's ideal for you? There's gotta be somewhere that has food. I've got one of mine right now. Okay, well then I'll jump to you, Phil, go ahead.

The Hard Rock. The Hard Rock? Yeah. It's a restaurant.

No, no, that's a casino. Oh. Oh, you would work at the Hard Rock Casino? Yep.

Either in Tampa or Miami. Okay. Yep. So, like, give me the schematics.

Tell me the game plan. Would you hang around the slots? I'd go everywhere. I mean, you know, I'd find somebody to get a little vest from, be like, "Hey, man, I forgot my vest today.

" Right? Yeah. I'd ask the hotel, whatever they are. I'm not going to say servants.

Cleaning ladies. Cleaning ladies. The room, uh, whatever they're called, the room cleaner. Cleaning ladies.

Made service. I don't know what it's called either. I can't get in my room. Do you have the key card?

And I need some towels. You know, I'd get in the room. So you'd stay in rooms overnight? Yeah, and then they serve Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays as lobster days.

Yeah, but are you stealing the food? How are you paying for the food? No, it's buffets. So you're buying the buffet?

You don't have to buy the buffet. They say if you gamble, you can just get the buffet. Get the buffet. I'm sure it's not like a guy there.

Don't you? You get a ticket or something, I would imagine. You can't gamble when you're on the clock. Yeah, but I would just walk up with my vest and take it off and be like, "Hey man, I'm on break.

" I don't know if it works that way. Yeah, I don't think it works. I'd have to see how the operation works. So Hard Rock's your move.

Yeah, that would be my move. I'm going Costco. Costco? Yeah.

Okay. Are you saying that because Mikey likes Costco? No, no. It'd be an easy setup once you get in.

Yeah? But it's not open 24 hours. You have something inside one of the racks or something with a toilet paper or something soft or something. Yeah.

And then during the day, you just sort of walk around, eat the samples. You could just sleep on the couch there. They got nice couches. Yeah, but I try to stay hidden.

You don't know what kind of security cameras. Is there samples every day? There's samples every day at some point. So you'd eat the samples.

Eat the samples. Clean up at night in the bathroom. Yeah? Sure.

That would be easy to do. House goes pretty good. Or Sam's. Either one would work.

Big box stores, big racks, you could easily make a little fort inside of one of those setups. BJ's. BJ's. Oh, is that your new thing?

Notice how I said it and I looked at you? That's weird. But I'm going to tell you, BJ's has the best prices for dum-dums. So you remember BJ, you remember all the club things?

I know you go to Costco all the time. " How much cheaper are the Dumbos? Like $4 a bag cheaper. Sometimes at Publix I see in the buy one get one rack, you know, in the weekly special, they have big bags of Dumbos.

I buy these Megalodon bags. Well, I'm sure it's the bigger ones, right? Yeah. Gigantic.

Hi, the kindergartners, bro. Last week, I'm not going to say her name, but she knows who she is. She's not an avid listener either. She's because she's - Semi-listener.

No, she doesn't listen at all. So, uh, we were talking up, me and Coach Preston were talking and reviewing about the practice and then I walk up to my bag. She went into my duffel bag and blew up the dum-dums all over the place. What'd she do that for?

She tried to open the bag, probably. Yeah, and she just shredded it and dumped it all out. Oh. I was like - Coach will never see - Is this a parent or a child?

He says he's five. I'm still a kid, yeah. Oh, I didn't hear that, sorry, I'm reading for the next comment. I'm like, this is how we lose the dum-dums.

There will be no more dum-dums today. So you're saying the five-year-old's not an avid listener to the show? Yeah, that was my joke, yeah. And you're like, oh.

So, but yeah, the dum-dums will continue. On day two, he went through the break room. That's where he got the vest. Smart.

Yes. 14 customer interactions in which you provided accurate product and assembly guidance. Sounds like this guy's got a job. Yeah, they should hire him when he gets back.

Wild. Okay. I don't know where I would stay. Oh yeah, I was gonna ask you what your choice is.

I don't know. I think I'd try and go, like, theme park. Yes. Oh, that's outside, though.

There's indoor portions of it. Yeah, but don't they lock all that stuff up at night? No. Do they not?

No, because they have, like, pressure washer guys and cleaners and stuff through the night. Maintenance works at night. But they go in and clean up, like, the restaurant area? Yeah, they clean everything, all the hoods and stuff.

Oh, they don't lock that after they're done? No, everything, it's like the park's still operating at nighttime. Oh, see, too many people. They'd have to do work.

But they don't, but, no, but they don't work there, like, they're subcontractors and stuff. Well, right, but still, they got some guy sleeping, you know, by the Slurpee machine, they're going to say something. Well, Mike, he only sleeps like two hours anyway. You just need a clipboard.

Yeah. I mean, this guy's taking a nap. Like, I'm not going to throw him out. I'm not going to narc on him.

He could sleep on the bus at the Harry Potter land. The one guy with the gift card narc'd on Michelle. It's true. There's always somebody.

Hey, why can't I? Why can't we sleep? You know, if I can't sleep, tell on big boy over here sleeping with a hot dog. Big boy over here?

Wow. Well, he's mad at you. That sound nice. Big boy, huh?

I don't know why they call you that. I wouldn't, obviously. Yeah. Yeah.

Right. Okay. Maybe he sleeps inside Spider-Man ride, you know, by the city. Yeah.

I'm trying to figure out where the best bed would be, though. Yeah. Oh, Cat in the Hat. I was thinking that, but is there beds in there?

Yeah, there's one. Not where the blue people live? What blue people? The blue people.

I don't remember the name of the movie. There's land people, water people. Avatar? Yeah, there you go.

That's Disney. Oh! I'm saying Universal. Yeah, he's got a membership.

Yeah, I'm saying Universal, buddy. Oh, yeah, get them for free anyway. Right. Yeah, let's walk in, go grab a vest.

I'm trying to think where to sleep over there. Figure out where the workroom is? Yeah, find out where the breakroom is? Yeah.

Do they give free food to the employees? Probably. Yeah, you just clipboard away. You get a, there's that little hotel in there.

Inside the park? Inside the park? Yeah, when you're going towards, like right when you walk in, you turn right, it used to be Terminator there, and you keep on going, you go over the bridge, right on the right side, there's like a little hotel. No, there isn't.

That's not a real hotel. But it looks like a hotel. You can make it a hotel. That's actually where they, you get like, they'll review demos for TV shows there, if you go in and sit and watch, and they'll give you a gift card.

Oh. Oh, nice. Maybe in the Harry Potter train, you can sleep in there. Oh yeah, there you go, Harry Potter train.

You just have to watch out for that thing that comes by and it's gonna get you. What thing? The monster things, I don't know what they're called. Oh, okay.

I haven't been in a while. Alright. Okay, moving on. Alright, we have an Artemis 2 update.

Oh good. Okay, well today, yeah it is today, but this will be up tomorrow. So yesterday, they flew around on the moon. So, uh, when this story broke, they were halfway there.

The other astronauts prepared for the historic lunar flyby, which happened yesterday, but the toilet is still a no-go for number one. Oh boy. So she's not the plumber. No.

I heard on the radio it's fixed again this morning, but as of yesterday, it gives-- Piss was flying everywhere. No, it gives off a burning smell, and it smells like an old space heater. Oh, that's not good. No, I imagine you don't like the smell of burning when you're in the space capsule.

Imagine it's betting 30 million dollars on something and it not working. Right. But now they think the problem is the line froze. Yeah.

So the pee can't be ejected, apparently, so you were right, they eject it into space. I feel like I could do this for like 29 million, save NASA, I could totally build. Well, this is the same one they put on the space center, I mean the space station, so it has worked in the past. Is there just something wrong with this one?

I could do it better and for less. Sign me up today. Sign me up today? Send you up there?

No, I'll work down here. I'll AI an awesome toilet. It'll be great. Help me develop the schematics for a NASA toilet.

Toilet for a spaceship. Well, funny enough, that's how they did it. And then they printed all the parts and put it together and it's not working. So what I'm gonna do is then, I would say, looking at the schematics from the previous, there are problems here, here, and here, help me correct these issues, and then just submit it.

So they are the furthest away from Earth that anyone has ever been. Wow. And for 40 minutes today, they're completely on their own, no, when they get around to the other side. No communication.

No communication for 40 minutes. Didn't one of the Apollos have to go around the moon to slingshot it or something? Nope. Was that in the movie?

Is that in the movie? Yeah. That was in the movie. That was in the movie.

Tom Hanks did not really go in the movie. It wasn't? He didn't really go? No.

And nobody calls it The Dark Side of the Moon. That is the Pink Floyd album. Right. It's called The Far Side of the Moon.

The Far Side? And it's not really dark, so we don't need lights. We don't even need lights? No.

We can see it. It's not dark on the other side. Yeah, you can see it. They released a photo today.

Yeah, because the moon illuminated. Yeah, the moon illumalumas. Yeah, illumaluma. Illuminates.

There's just shadows. So it's like a glow, glowy thing in the, in the space? Is that what you're telling me? It illuminates?

I guess, I don't know. Yeah? Interesting. So it doesn't like, sun doesn't reflect off it or anything like that?

No, it absorbs it in there. And then it, and then it turns like that neon green, like a glow stick? Yeah. Because it's just illuminating?

Yeah. I told you what they were doing with this whole trip. This is, this is it. What?

Trying to see how far they can go. Yeah? Yeah. Okay.

Let me see how far they can go. See how far away they can get? Yeah, because then they want to go to the next one. Oh, well, I thought this was the drive-by to find a good place to land so that in two years that's where we're going.

Yeah, right. That's what they're saying. That's what they don't, yeah. Yeah, roads, we don't need roads.

Right. And they're not usually using rocket power, they're using, like I said, the slingshot thing, so there's really no... They use the gravitational force of the moon to sling themselves back around. They just swing back around, so there's no chance it will not work, it's not like they can run out of gas and get stuck.

So this didn't happen in the Apollos? So, yeah, I'm trying to figure out... No, they went up and landed. No, the Tom Hanks movie was about how it didn't work.

Are you agreeing the whole time, Palmer, or is this what they're really doing, or...? Well, that's what I've read. Oh, okay. Yeah, so what do you say?

It happened in the movie, I just don't, I don't know if that happened. I mean, they could be hanging out with the Transformers on the backside, I don't know. I suppose we never went to the moon, Mikey, so... We did go to the moon.

No, no, I think we've all given in that we have gone to the moon, because that one lady on TikTok said so. Right. What are you looking at? Have we ever slingshotted around the moon?

Did we slingshot? Apparently not, because these people, unless you're doing a wider slingshot, because these four people are as far away as anyone's ever been. Somebody call Mr. Hanks.

- Would you slingshot her? - Unless like the moon is like further out at this current point. - I don't think that happens. - Apollo 13 was a true story.

It was the seventh crewed mission in the Apollo Space Program. After an oxygen tank exploded two days into the mission, the crew never landed on the moon, but did loop around it. - Hmm. - By slingshot?

- Yeah, so I'm right. So how is this the further, how is this further away than that? - I don't know. That's what everybody's saying.

I should, we should, question them. Hey, Tom Hanks did it. Yeah, Tom Hanks did it. That's what happened, huh?

The auction blew up? I was never familiar. I did. I was very young back then.

Huh. Were you in the 30s? In the 30s? Yeah, back in the 30s.

Oh, was I in my 30s? Yeah, you were in your 30s. Well, it was before 1970-something, wasn't it? Because then when we landed, so it had to be before that.

- Okay, all right, I gotta get out of the story. - Moving on. - Have you heard what they want everybody to do, though? So, you know, they come back around the other side.

They want NASA to all put, like, ape mask on and stuff, so when they reestablish contact on the other side-- - That'd be great. - It's Planet of the Apes? - Yeah. - That would be hilarious.

- What happened? - Just like the movie, I told you. All right, three women have been arrested in Miami. I know it's not a big deal, but they were arrested on an airplane.

Okay. Oh, wait, wait, wait, let's take bets. This is like two Florida twists. What type of women?

What did they do? What type of women? What type of? You mean homosexual women?

Uh, maybe. Okay, well then I can't, I want to get the names right, so I have the names here, but if I say the names, you'll figure it out. Oh. No, no, that does not give the answer away, because it could be any type of name.

Okay. Tell me. No, you guys were going to guess that. Oh.

Okay, yeah, we're going to guess. Well, I think that they were... what were they doing? They got drunk and disorderly.

I think they were trying to take over the plan. That would have made national news. Well, he's reading it! Yeah, it's not like I made this up.

Maybe. Okay. All right, let us know. Three women.

Devanya, Kenya, Cochran, Nafisa, Yasmin, Daqiri... Oh yeah, they took over the board. And Deandjana Marlene Cochran. Okay.

They're all Cochrans? No, two Cochrans and a Dockery. Like Johnny? Like Johnny Cochran.

Dockery, not Cochran, Dockery. Dockery? Dockery. D-O-C-K-E-R-Y.

Not Cochran? No, Dockery. Oh, okay. Oh, Cochran, the other one.

C-O-C-H-R-A-N. Yeah. Two sisters and a different one. Johnny Cochran.

And a different young lady. All right. So they're getting out of Frontier Airlines today. Oh boy.

I'm going to charge them for their carry-ons because they have too much luggage. Right. And then they get mad. We're not paying for the luggage.

You have to pay for the luggage. Not paying. Girls, run! And they all three run into the plane.

Wow. Wow. One of the young ladies has pink hair, so it's not like they're going to hide once they get in there. They're easy to find.

Easy to find. They were escorted off the plane in handcuffs. It's a federal offense because it's an airplane. Oh, man.

Yeah, as soon as you passed the, uh, as soon as you went into the, uh, jetway, that was it. Yep, people don't understand that. It's all about how you handle this. You know what I mean?

Well, there was a, there was a bit of a scuffle on the plane, a lot of arm pulling, which one lady hit one of the policemen. Oh, you don't want to do that. Assaults on an officer. Assaults on an officer.

Yeah, two of them got, uh... - What's it called? - Aggravated Assault? - No, no, you won't get arrested, so you fight with the police, but no violence, and then the other one got...

- Like misdemeanor or something? - No, no, they're all federally charged. - They're all federally charged? - There is no misdemeanor here.

- They didn't get arrested? - No, no, they did. They got escorted off the plane in handcuffs. They're in the Miami federal prison thing now.

- Gotcha. - Oh, resisting arrest without violence for two of them, and resisting arrest with violence for one of them. See, it's all about how you handle these things, man. You really gotta, you gotta know what you're doing.

You know what I mean? You talking about from the women or the people that arrested the women? Yeah. Like, how to handle this.

Like, how to, you know. So, like, I had a situation where I was delivering a package and it was, it was an expensive package. Oh, yes. And I was not letting this package leave my sight.

Correct. So what I did was I upgraded to business class, step number one. Sure. step number two was I didn't check the measurements intentionally and I kept going and step number three is when the lady says after I scan my ticket I'm walking down the thing hey that's too big hey that's too big I just kept going pretending like I didn't hear them I didn't argue with anybody and when I got there when I was up top the we look at it putting it up top and the lady's like He's like, huh, it doesn't seem to go this way, like, you know what, we'll just put it sideways and just close this one.

Like, perfect. She figured you already got past everybody, somebody okayed it. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You can't, you know, like, you can't...

Yo, white bitch, we're not paying. I don't know if that was probably what was said or not. That was what was said? Well, not exactly, but there was, they did mention that there was, you know, bad words.

It's all about being, how you handle yourself and that, you know. And then one lady says to the other two: "Run! " How much is it for an additional carry-on? I don't know.

Probably $75. $75? $50 to $75, I would imagine. Damn, that's a lot.

To go to federal prison? Yeah, to not go to federal prison? I'll pay $50 not to go to federal prison. All I'm saying is if you were a little bit more slick about it, you probably would have been fine.

Yeah, if you would have handled it nicely, yeah, you might have, you know, got by. So, with women, it's a fine line on these type of airlines because your purse counts as your carry-on. So, what my wife does is she puts her purse inside the backpack and then the backpack is the carry-on. Well, normally you get a personal item and a carry-on.

No, because if you pay for the carry-on, yes. In Frontier. But you don't get a free carry-on, you have to pay for the carry-on. It's either carry-on check.

On Frontier. - Yeah. - Yeah. - So when she flies Frontier, even a Legion that she flies all the time back to Missouri, the backpack becomes her purse.

- Yeah. - Because the purse is in the backpack. - Scale down the purse. - Right, that's her personal item.

- Right, that's her personal item. - Yeah, I don't know why anybody flies Frontier. I've said this multiple times. - It's cheap.

- Is it? - It is if you do it right. - Not if you got a carry-on. - Well, if you make it your personal item.

So, Yasmeen, next time, put your purse in the backpack. Make it a personal item. Yeah, Nahmeen. Yasmeen.

Oh, that's her middle name. Sorry. Nafisa. Where were they going?

Where was the flight going? There was no mention of where. The flight was delayed by an hour because of the three women. People were yelling at them as they were being dragged off the plane.

Like, that's ridiculous. People yelling at them? Yeah. Well, they just delayed my flight.

I'm going to yell a bad word at this... Yeah, that makes no sense. I don't know. In the way people are.

Yeah. Yeah, you take her to jail. Dude, you couldn't convince me to fly a Frontier flight. I would never do it.

What about Allegiant? Would you fly Allegiant? Depends. What about Spirit?

Allegiant is smaller, and they're usually out of the smaller airport. I actually flew in Allegiant. The seats weren't bad. The experience wasn't bad.

Oh, it's a nice little airline, but you're going out to secondary airports, which isn't a big deal. Right. Unless it's so small they don't have rental cars, sometimes that's a problem. Now what was the other one?

Spirit? No, not happening. Why not Spirit? Because it's the same realm of Frontier.

And you know what's even funnier is we went to the airport one day when we let Dum Dum upstairs book our PCA flight. I said, "Oh, we're going to do Spirit. And it's going to blah, blah, blah. " I surrendered and gave that one up.

And we get there, and we missed sending our check bags in by like two minutes. And like, sorry, you can't get your check bag in. Like, what do you mean? Like, yeah, you had to be here two minutes ago.

There was a cutoff. Right. I'm like, what? Like, yeah.

I'm like, okay, so what do we do? Like, you need to book another flight, or you need to just abandon your bags or something? Abandon my bag? I was like, okay, no problem.

So I booked our flights on United. here's the next flight going out, we're out of here. And because he booked through one of these value places, these value trip places, you got no money back. Yeah, so.

Last time Greg ever does that again. Dude, I will happily pay a premium for good customer service. Period. And so will Phil as he yawns.

Sorry. So no, spirit's out. I won't fly spirit. I won't fly frontier.

I would fly a legion. You don't like the people on the other two. I don't like the lack of customer service and I don't like the hidden fees on things. I think that's ridiculous.

Just charge me up front. Charge me up front. Let me get the peanuts and the soda. Yeah, you know, like, let's just, I don't need the extra stuff, the extra crap, so.

Alright, you have a video for us? I do. We're running along today. Whoa.

I like that we're going like an hour, hour and a half. Sometimes, sometimes, I do feel, I just want to know, I do feel the pressure on the videos, I was like, oh man, I need a video. Well, you don't want him to be like, oh, see, another day, no video. I know.

So this is video from NASA. It's funny that you were talking about. received confirmation that the Orion spacecraft and its crew have officially entered the lunar sphere of influence. That milestone taking place at a mission elapsed time of 4 days, 6 hours, 2 minutes, and 54 seconds into the Artemis 2 mission.

By reaching this milestone, it means that the gravitational forces of the Moon are now greater on the Orion spacecraft than that of Earth. I'd also like to share that we noticed we entered the lunar sphere of influence about an hour ago and sure enough we are now falling to the moon rather than rising away from Earth. It is an amazing milestone. Also earlier we had the Earth out as a crescent, out the side hatch and the moon out window three and definitely by far the moon is bigger than the moon.

They're on, they, they are stating that it's flat out bigger than the earth. People on the Artemis side. Yeah. Oh.

It's pretty cool. How long is this video? Just a minute. So do you think like they have, they have instruments on the spaceship to be able to tell how big a planet is?

Probably. Yeah, so they probably, probably did that. Hey, we look closer and it's big, very big. But there's a lot of, there's more gravitational pull on the other side.

On the other side of what? Isn't that what they were saying, the gravitational pull force? They're saying that as they enter it, as they get closer to it, there's gravitational pull. Well, no, it said, when I was reading it, it said that there was more in that area than there was on Earth, wherever they were.

There was more gravitational pull. At that moment, 'cause they are now closer to it than Earth. Got that? Yep, sure.

Oh, he's just surrendering. " Okay. I have no problem sounding stupid. You're what?

I have no problem sounding stupid. Alright, so let's get into the cigar news! Oh, and if you wanna hear your comment, just comment below on our YouTube page. We may read it off.

If it's funnier, if it's not funnier, or if it's just a comment. Yeah, if it's about Palmer or about Phil. I didn't put that, you know, go ahead. Las Seis Provincias.

Las Seis Provincias. Miami. Knuckle Sandwich, Avante Garden, the headline, they've got a bunch of new cigars coming out. At the upcoming 2026 PCA convention and trade show, Espinosa Premium Cigars will be showing off eight new products.

Wow. I'm excited. The new products will include 601 Blue 20th Anniversary. Ooh.

601 La Bamba Warhead 12. Ooh. 601 La Bamba Independence Day 2026. Oh.

Espinosa Entice. Ooh. I'm not sure what that is. Entice you to smoke it.

Espinosa Las Provincias Miami. Okay. Knuckle Sandwich Avant Garde. Ooh.

Knuckle Sandwich Chef Special 2026. L'Aranja Hybrid, Espinosa 601 Blue Line is making it 20 years, and the company is celebrating a milestone with a 601 Blue 20th Anniversary. Nice. That's not all for 601 brands, it will also be a 601 La Bamba, oh we already read the list, so this is just an explanation of each one.

Okay. So apparently Hector released all this information on the latest episode of Cigar Coop. Cigar Coupe released it? Espinosa released it on Cigar Coupe.

Oh, okay. And now everybody else is grabbing the story, but there will be photos and a press release to come forthwith. Aaron Loomis invited me on the media panel after PCA. Ooh.

Yeah. Not of the Coupe show. I don't think so. The Coalition?

No, it's gotta be of his show. Yeah. April 28th, 9pm. And that is exactly why we like Fishtick.

Yeah, I mean, he's a good guy. Yeah. I like all of them. You know, they don't like me.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Well, that's exciting. It's smart. They're gonna release everything throughout, probably for the course of the year at the show. Makes sense.

Yeah, that's everything they've got for the rest of the year. I think that's the right way to do it. I think so, too. Yeah.

This is everything we can get. Would you like to buy some? And then we're going to distribute it as the year goes. Right.

Yeah. Nice little showcase. Yeah. Sounds like a lot of good stuff.

We're getting all of it, I would assume. Of course. Just last. Which one?

Just eventually. Which ones sound like it intrigued you guys the most? You can't be mean to them. They gave you sweatshirts.

I'm not being mean. Okay. Everybody gives us our stuff last. That's not true.

Even Powstanie gives us our stuff last. Powstanie does give us stuff. Even Powstanie gives us our stuff last. That's true.

Cigar Hustlers can't even get any love from our own brand. That is true. Well, I'd like to take care of the other retailers first. No, I completely understand why.

I'm not saying I'm a fan, but I'm a fan. Okay. Okay. Which one am I most excited about?

Yeah, like just hearing the name. The Warhead. Yeah? Yeah.

One jumped out at me, it was that L'Aranja? Yeah. The 20-year L'Aranja? Yeah, the hybrid.

The hybrid? Okay. That does sound good. Yeah.

I didn't know what it is. I like the original one. Okay. I want to see what the Entice is.

Ooh. I like the ones, I don't know what it is. The Knuckle Sandwich? No, there's an Espinosa Entice.

Oh, I thought it was Knuckle Sandwich Entice. No, there's a Knuckle Sandwich Avantgarde. Avantgarde? No.

I like that name, too. I think there should be like Knuckle Sandwich Oysters. Knuckle Sandwich Oyster? Yeah.

I don't know, I don't think that flows. Barbecue. Uh, Knuckle Sandwich. French fries.

Ooh, that sounds good. Yeah. " Okay. All right, Plasencia is changing their logo.

Uh-oh. Why do you think they would change their logo, Michael? Because there's already a clear P that is dominating in the cigar industry and they want no part of it. Oh, exactly.

That's why. That's why. Obviously, that's why. Yeah, like we need to distance ourselves from these people.

Well, Cincy Cigars has unveiled a new logo that draws inspiration from its agricultural heritage, In which the company said symbolizes that the future of premium cigars begins in the soil. Oh, it's a leaf. Yep, the new logo is a leaf. Oh, is that because the other guy took away the leaf?

It's a leaf. He saw it and removed from leaf, add star. Right. Olsencia moves in, swipes in, takes leaf.

We have the leaf! The identity makes visible what has always been true, that great tobacco starts with great soil. Then why not they have a picture of a dirt? It's leaf.

Ooh, some dirt. That would be a hard... I don't think that transitions well. Dirt.

You might think it's like... There's a bunch of spots. Dookie or something. That would be weird.

And that we passed down matters as much as what we make today. The company previous logo, well, I could read the description, but it's kind of silly. I have it right here. Where did it go?

Oh, no. Did I... The picture didn't try... Oh, the picture didn't go to the teleprompter.

Apparently, they do not do pictures. Okay. Okay. But yes, the P is gone and now it is just a leaf.

Mm-hmm. Are you reading that text message we just got? Mm-hmm. That's a Patreon material.

Okay. So now they're trying to not be as generic. I don't know, when I think of Plasencia, I think of a luxury brand for some reason. I could see that.

Yeah, I think they're more luxury style. The boxes are a little more upscale and they tell a good story with the, you know, the top of the mountain, the bottom of the mountain, inside the volcano. Right. So why wouldn't it be like something to do with that instead of, at least kind of, that doesn't seem luxury to me.

Well, it is an octagon shaped leaf, similar to their cigars that are octagon shaped. Oh, okay. Or do you mean hexagon? No, I think it has eight sides.

Maybe it is Hexagon. I don't know. We don't have our insider over there. He's been robbed from us.

He's doing something. We just got Patreon material. I'm sorry. What's going on?

Is it an octagon or a hexagon that Plasencia has? Is it eight sides or five? I don't know. Yeah.

One, two, three, four. I think it's six. No. Yeah.

It's not a six-a-gon. Yeah. It's a six-a-gon. It's a six-a-gon.

Oh, look at this, rounded into a six-sided shape. Look at you. Yo, congratulations. Thank you.

It's like I'm in the industry. It's like we have an industry insider on the show. Thank God we finally got him back, folks. There you go.

The new-looking logo is expected to be on display at the upcoming PCA Convention of Trade Shows. Nobody's going to know where they're at. Just look for the P. I don't see a P anywhere on a sign.

Right. Did you hear anything that we were talking about? Yes. I was saying how I think Placencia is more of a luxury brand, and I didn't know why they went to a leaf.

Oh, well, the leaf is luxury. It's supposed to be a tobacco leaf. Yeah. It's a very veiny looking leaf, a lot of lines, but still it's a leaf, and it's a six-sided leaf.

Okay. Is there a six-sided leaf? There is now. You could trim it, I mean, you take one leaf and you trim it with six sides.

All right, San Cristobal Golden Hour is coming this summer. I kind of like this cigar, so I like that they're coming out with a new one. Ashton's newest San Cristobal is designed for one of the prettiest times of day, the Golden Hour. Oh!

The San Cristal Golden Hour is a new regular production cigar that uses a Cuban seed wrapper from Ecuador over a variety of Nicaraguan tobaccos from Condega, Esteli, Jalapa, Namastron? It looks like Jumanji starts with an N. Hamastron? Starts with an N?

Numanji? N, N as in Nick? Yeah. N-A-M-A-N-J-I.

It looks like it would be Jumanji, but they put an N in the beginning. Namahi? Numanji? The J is an H.

Namanchi. Okay. Like all other St. Cristobal Cigars, it's rolled at the Garcia Family's My Father Cigars, and all the Nicaraguan tobaccos come from the Garcia Family Farms.

Fresh release describes the blend as a medium full of flavors of cedars, cinnamon, and coffee bean, molasses, and spice. It's kind of a golden brown color where they've taken the band and they've made it into a golden color instead of white. It's a nice looking cigar. Yeah, that makes sense with it being called the Golden Hour.

Right. They've embraced the name. Right. But it looks like it would be good.

Maybe I can get one of the show. Okay. I'll find out. But I'm looking forward to trying that one.

All right. Four Vitolas are box-pressed, two thickest, there's two of them that are round. Ashton, oh, they will have them at the PCA 2026 convention. Perfect.

Perfect. Maybe we get some. Now, we have a live, what's the score? Oh.

We're going Facebook Live for... What's the score? If you can get this to work. Did you test this?

No. How dirty are my glasses right now? They're as dirty as Jean-Claude Van Damme. We can't see them.

You're a dirty man. You're a very dirty, dirty man. Trust me. We don't care.

Go ahead. Okay. I can't see how dirty they are. Okay.

Who's connecting? So, connecting. Connecting. Connecting.

Jarvis, connect me to the world. Jarvis. Okay. Which, by the way, you guys know that you can do that with your computers, right?

Hey, Meta, go live. It's thinking. It's thinking. It's thinking.

Doot-doot. Boop-be-boop. Boop! There's this guy, he'll turn your computer into Jarvis for $20.

I don't know what's going on here. It's blinking. Oh, please restart the app and try again. Sorry, you're connected to Greg's internet?

Well, we apologize that he didn't, you know, care about his works first. Sometimes, he's just gotta do what he's gonna do. Hey, Meta, live stream to Facebook. So, I hope you guys are enjoying the new Saturday content, hope that was funny for you.

Oh, I liked it. Oh, Phil liked it. Live stream to Facebook, live stream is not supported on that app. Okay, that's interesting.

So, we can't do it. It says that we can. You just read the-- Hey, Meta, live stream onto Facebook. - They are?

- I'm sorry. You cannot do that. - Hey Meta, go live onto Facebook. Hey Meta, go live onto Facebook.

- Is it just swearing back at you at this point? " Hey, Meta, go live onto Facebook. It says it's not supported. Please put this in the bloopers.

All right, I'll work on this. It's part of the show, it's not even a blooper. How is it not supported? Can you manually do it?

Doesn't make any sense. Didn't you do it on your, uh, with your kids in the, uh, that park? I'm working on it, bro. Let me see if I just go live here.

I don't know what's going on here, leave it on the whole time. Wow, that's not nice. Alright, I can't get it to work, I'll figure it out, I'll play with it later. You would think you would have figured it out seeing we were doing it.

I just believe in the technology to deliver. You want me to go live on Instagram? We can try that one? Try that.

I'm done. I'm done. Have you tried to do that before? I'm done.

This is me shutting down. What's the score? Let's go. First cigar, December 31st, 2025.

I'm sorry, you guys can't see what this looks like live, but let's just wait. We'll get it next time. I'm sorry, I'm reading. He's very mean to me.

And the other guy's not even flipping the cameras. Patrick LaGreed is the reviewer, it's a Honduran Cigar, it's Oscar Valladares, Tobacco & Company, this is a Redux. It's the 2012 by Oscar, the Barber Pole Lancero. 89.

87. It's the 2012 by Oscar, excuse me, Barber Pole Lancero, Country of Origin, Honduras, Factory, Oscar Valladares, Tobacco & Company. Rappers, Mexican San Andres, and Undisclosed Candela. Oh.

He gets it where he wants to. 88. I'm not done. Yeah, why'd you get so quick?

Why'd you get so excited? Sorry. Binder, Nicaraguan. Filler, Honduras and Nicaragua.

Links, 7 inches, 38, 997. Released October 1st, 2020. They smoked one. Now you can give a number.

88. 87. Great construction and performance throughout. Aside from one minor touch-up, it burned evenly with strong ash, hold, and consistent draw.

88. That was a quick clue. They're a little shorter. It's a redux.

Not as much information. 87. Number two. Complex flavor progression.

Transition from grass, earth, and pepper into a richer profile with creamy, earthy, and even dark chocolate notes. New York Chocolate Notes Toward the End. Ooh. 89.

88. 88! Oh, you're coming up with me. The cigar appeared slightly dry from the start, which muted aromas and made the initial flavor somewhat subdued and less vibrant.

This is going to be a quick one. This is going pretty quick. 87. Ooh.

He's talking faster. He's embarrassed his live didn't work. - Is the next one the last one? - I'm embarrassed.

- It's okay, things happen, we understand. - I understand, yeah, I get it. - If we get performance issues, it's not a big deal. - Pause.

- It happens. - Is the next clue the last one? - Yes, three clues, then a final thought. - Alright, 87.

- Like it's his first day. - Oh, you're gonna match mine? - That's right. - Final thought, for a cigar that uses a Candela wrapper as part of its blend, the 2012 by Oscar Barberpole Lancero is certainly not a Candela forward profile.

- Uh-oh. - If anything, it's barely perceptible. I get a profile that has this really interesting progression of earth, creaminess, and black pepper. The first puffs give a way to quick blast off of a bit of coasting downward in intensity and a shift to different gear, another coast, and then finally a more distilled and concentrated expression that finally brings all the flavors together in the final puffs right before it's time to put the cigar down.

I can't recall having this kind of experience, and it was certainly memorable, even if the overall profile could have been a bit more complex. 88. 87. You went the wrong way.

90. What? That's one That's unbelievable Alright, I'm already leading, I'm in the lead With a half a point And glasses still don't work Sorry Second cigar Second cigar It felt like the right time, I don't know It did, it did, it exploded nicely December 30th, 2013 Charlie Minato, Alec Bradley cigars It is the Alec Bradley Mundial Punta Lanza Number 4 Boots? Phil?

Phil? 78. Ouch. 85.

It's the Alec Bradley Mundal Buntalanza number 4. It's from Honduras also. It's from the Fabrica de Tobacco Reyes. Reyes.

Reyes. The rapper is Honduran Trojes? Trojes? Trojas.

Trojas. No, there's no A. There's a J. T-R-O-J-E-S.

Trojez? Trojez. Binders, Honduran and Nicaraguan filler, Honduras and Nicaragua. It's a four and a half by 48.

95. They smoked two. Two, Johnny, two. Odd number for two.

I like the factory. Go 85. Have you been there? That's where I was.

86. Well, that's where you're not now. Clue number one, rich in detailed flavor profile early on, notes of cocoa, cedar, creamy, chocolate, and even gingerbread and lavender. Whoa.

Gave the cigar a complex and engaging start. Feels like a wonderful potpourri. Going good. Right, something I probably wouldn't want to...

My wife keeps this in her drawer next to her underwear, so it smells nice. That's where you put potpourri. That's where you put potpourri, you heathens. Really?

Is it because it's supposed to make the underwear smell good? Yep, that's the idea. Oh. Okay.

Um, 88. Uneducated heathens. 87. 88.

Number two. Excellent burn in construction. The cigar produced a firm ash. Firm ash.

Solid smoke output and overall strong burn performance. Firm ash. 88. Why do you keep going?

Why do you keep saying it? Are you getting excited over there? No, I just... 89.

You jealous? You don't have a firm mash? No, I'm not jealous. Potpourri, ma'am?

Go ahead, I'll put the next clue. Number two! Significant tar buildup around the midpoint. Oh, this is three, sorry.

It became overpowering and introduced harsh, bitter flavors that ultimately ruined the experience. Even the firm ash couldn't say that. Because you're smoking potpourri. Mmm.

82. I like lavender with my chocolate. Mmm. Makes me go night night.

Night night. 83. Night night with a full belly. He said 82.

Oh, did he? I'm sorry. I never listened. Yeah, he's one up.

Final thought. After three samples, I just do not get it. Mundial was not a very good cigar. It was a frustrating cigar with good qualities.

Even without the tar, there was still an intense harshness that was present. Can you stop shaking your head? It's very distracting. It's right behind the teleprompter.

I see the feathers going. Throughout almost all of the Puntas, number four, oftentimes overpowering what were developed notes on the front of the palate and through the nose. In the hypothetical world, without the harshness and tar, this was a cigar with developed notes, never particularly complex, but ever-changing, and full of great construction. In the real world, that was the three cigars I smoked.

I have little desire to spend 12, 14, or even 16 on the other cigars in the line. Phil? I'm gonna go to my original number, 79. That was not your original number, but okay.

I'm going to go into what I thought was my original number. What was my original number? 77, I think. I like 77.

I think it's going to go lower than that. Should I win? Don't ask questions. I can't help you, Michael.

Should I win or should I try and nail it? I'll ask you, Phil. I think you should try to nail it. 75.

Oh, that was it! Oh! Oh! Is it on me?

Camera on me? It was on me. Alright, put it on me. Go.

I win! Nothing's happening. Yes! Oh, wow.

Oh my God, the roof's on fire. The roof. The roof. Only one's going off.

The roof is on fire. Oh my God. Oh my God. How does it stop?

I wonder what that look like. I am the champion. I am a champion. How did that look?

And we celebrate. Did you tell him the numbers so that way he could light out the little sparky sparks? No. Whatever.

I don't need the numbers to beat you. How did you get such a trashy cigar at 75? How did you nail that? All right, well, you went 79.

I thought it was going to go low. I would have conservatively done 78 because I thought it was below that. Right? And then I said, man, maybe I'll go midpoint here and just take a shot at 75.

I thought Phil was gonna get it. He was so close. You wanna know how I know we're making money? Because we got sparklers in the back when I win!

We got sparklers. Things are trending in the right direction. Only one of them went off. Yeah, we'll have to review.

We'll send us-- We're only paying half as much. Send us the customer service upstairs. We have to get our tech guy. We have to get our sparkler guy back down here.

Alright, this has been episode 503 of the Cigar Oster Podcast. Thank you very much. We're gonna go to the Patreon, where we're gonna smoke these very expensive Atabase we can't afford. Make sure you like and subscribe wherever you're viewing or listening, and thank you so much for your support.

Because we spend all our money on sparklers. All our money on sparklers. And Atabase. Guys, thank you very much.

Bye. Goodbye. Thank you.

Show Notes

From IKEA Survival to Space Launches… and Espinosa Bringing Heat

On today’s Show Can’t go to the beach and zoom call a meeting?  Man Lives in Ikea for 11 days, Three Women find out that Carry on is extra, Artemis II update and then cigars,  Espinosa has a lot, Plasencia gets a new look and Morning Sunrise is amazing…plus a fiery What’s The Score!!1

Like To Make a Retail PCA Appointment  click link below:

https://calendly.com/mike-v-0/powstanie-meeting-pca-2026-booth

If You’d Like To Make A Media Appointment Click The Link Below

https://calendly.com/mike-v-0/powstanie-media-meeting-pca-2026-booth-4841