April 7, 2026· 1h 13m

ACHP Episode 503 From IKEA Survival to Space Launches… and Espinosa Bringing Heat

Transcript

Am I going Live Today or no?

It's up to you.

We haven't advertised it, but

you said you didn't want to

advertise it just for what's the

score at the end?

Yeah, it's fucking ridiculous.

So the autofocus doesn't do it

now.

I saw somebody that had theirs.

Had their what microphone?

Yes.

Where did they have it at?

It's right up here you.

Know a lot of people that hold

it, but that just seems silly.

Yeah.

Does this sound OK, Boots?

Check, Check, check, check.

No.

Headphones.

He doesn't have headphones.

Well, he has them, he just

doesn't have them on.

Go again.

Check, check, Check mic.

Check 1212.

Sounds good.

Check, check, check 1212.

Yep, if it sounds good then I'll

I'll keep it so I keep it up

here.

Sounds good.

I'll keep it up here.

Just wanted to have the exact

same thing so, you know that,

you know, didn't have to just

say, oh, Palmer's got a

different work.

I have debris in my eye.

Debris.

Do what Diddy Diddy dum Diddy

do.

Today's show brought to you by

Two Guys in New Hampshire.

We're the new influencer for the

Two Guys Cigar Shop.

Are we?

Get all your cigars.

No, nobody applied.

You didn't apply.

He wouldn't let me.

Are we, are we blueprinting

right now?

Is that what's?

Happening.

Are we recording?

Oh, you should be recording.

I need that for Saturdays.

Yeah, I've been recording.

We had over 30 views on

Saturday.

Really.

Yeah.

Look at that first time.

First time ever.

If I hit this, it's now it's on

autofocus.

Oh, is it saved?

I don't fucking.

I don't know.

On the screen is me.

Oh.

He turned.

Him.

He's bored too.

I'm blurry too.

To me it looks normal.

How funny is this autofocus

focus OK.

Were you Preston tomorrow?

Yeah, how exciting.

Well, supposedly.

Yeah, he might Divas at the last

minute.

Don't you talk about my Preston

Can't make it tomorrow.

I need you get Oh, why are you

sideways?

He's autofocused.

Oh, my camera's great.

Yeah, 1975 Nikon XO works great.

We should get three of those.

We just need $75.

Fucking thing.

No, it's Monday.

Where's the BDP shirt?

I don't wear the Mr. Mcdover

shirt.

Wore it last week.

Can't wear?

I thought you wore it every.

Robe back up off me dude, you

doing my best, doing my best.

Thought maybe you forget it was

Monday.

I know.

What the hell you want?

Did you leave?

It at Preston's house.

Yeah, I left it at Preston's

house.

So Preston has to wear it

tomorrow.

Preston's going to wear it

tomorrow, yeah?

Preston's going.

To wear here you left his shirt

at my house these.

Tears are weird today.

It's.

OK, why are they weird?

I know why.

Does yours feel gritty?

He's already seen it because he

walked around.

Yeah, what has he seen?

The remote is there.

Everything's there.

The two things that sound like

nuclear Subs behind you.

Can you hear them?

Are you looking at me?

I don't know.

Yeah, I can hear.

Them.

Can you hear them right now in

the background on when your

headphones up?

No, there's no way.

Look on the green thing.

Does they register?

Nothing's registered.

Yeah, then you can't hear them.

Like his brain, nothing's

registered.

Wow, wow.

Oh, and a gong.

We have a gong.

That's nice.

OK, well, I'm ready when you

got.

Everything there, you got your

did you get the cigars?

Yeah.

So you have your scale, you have

your remote, your remote.

I got my scale.

I got my remote.

Red Bull, No.

Red Bull No.

I don't need Red Bull.

Oh, he's awake.

We dropped some, yeah.

I didn't get to the gym today.

Which?

Bullshit up some amphetamines

this morning.

Dropped some amphetamines this

morning.

All right, we're recording,

correct?

Yep.

Welcome to a Cigar Hustler

podcast, episode 503.

I'm Mike Palmer, your host, and

on today's show we have Phil.

I'm not pooping till Artemis 2's

bathroom gets fixed, Mcguffey.

Hello.

It's already fixed.

It's broke again.

It broke.

We'll get into that later, OK?

And my Co host Mikey, I can eat

candy now.

It's after Easter.

Show, but I did kind of fall

off.

You you did the You were eating

Donuts in Alabama.

Yeah, Jesus could see you.

Sorry, Jesus.

What's the punishment for that?

He died for my sins, so it's OK.

Oh.

That's how that works.

So what's the point in holding

out for the 30 days though?

It's good for.

You.

It's 40, isn't it?

40.

Yeah, it's like 40 days, Yes, 40

days, yeah.

And if you go to church on

Saturday instead of Sunday, it

ends a day early.

Oh Oh yeah, is that how that

works?

That's what I was looking.

For congratulations.

Saturday night, it's over.

Yeah, we're all done right in

today's show.

I forgot to make it today show

thing.

So in today's show, a woman gets

fired.

OK.

We have three young ladies who

got arrested on an airplane.

12.9 grams We have an.

Artemis to update.

Nope, it's still an hour, 45

minutes before they hit the

other side.

OK.

And then in cigars, we've got a

whole lot of stuff coming out

from Espinosa.

Oh, really?

For the PCA, that's cool, Yeah.

We get a couple of new cigars

and then we end the show with a

very special what's the score?

Very.

Special What's the score?

Before we get started, Michael,

how do I get the shirt you're

not wearing today?

Well, I released the master

Blender shirt.

Yes, I saw the e-mail.

And.

How many did we sell?

We sold we sold the a few bud.

So let's start there.

Did.

We sell out.

No, we did not.

I like.

When we sell out people.

Would it not sell out?

No, there's still some left.

Not very many little, still some

left.

Little disappointed, I'll be

honest.

Well, man, we got some orders,

boy, I got to tell you.

No, no, I'm happy for the

orders, OK.

So shout out to Jesse Marquez,

Mark Palmer.

There you go, buddy.

Christopher Weiss.

Even in a family.

Corey Davis.

Julian Gordon and David Hoffman.

All nice fellas.

All receiving I believe master

blender shirts.

Beta best.

They the best.

We appreciate your support.

The shirts are hilarious, so I

think that they're fantastic.

Colors on that one.

If you want to check it out,

chapter pod.com where you buy

one, get the 2nd 140% off, spend

$100 or more.

And you get free shipping.

Free shipping.

Yeah, that's just crazy.

That's wild.

You know it's funny as I ordered

like this finished sauna from

Nerd Cover did.

You get free shipping.

I haven't gotten the package

it's been like 2 weeks.

A sauna, yeah, it's like it's

like a zip up one because.

The one you're talking about,

yeah, sounds terribly

claustrobic.

You're terribly claustrophobic,

yeah.

No, it sounds terribly

claustrophobic.

It's got a window, so it.

Just means people can see me

panic.

So what's funny to me is like

they have updated the creating

label like 2 weeks ago like

label created.

Oh, for the.

Shipping and they've never

shipped it.

I'm like, man, Can you imagine

if we handled business like

that?

Like and I emailed them.

I was like, hey, what's going

on?

Like haven't heard anything.

Was we have your money.

Just like they're like, oh,

just, oh, you know.

Please bear with us, we are very

busy.

Your item, that's what they

said.

They said they're very busy and

they said, oh, your item hasn't

come from overseas.

I'm like, well, what?

So, So why?

Why do I have to chase after you

after two weeks?

Can you give me an e-mail?

Update Why can't you be

proactive instead of reactive?

I don't understand what's going

on here.

Well, so who did you order from

every Wang's House of sweat or

something?

Like that, Mister.

That was that that.

Was it?

I mean, it's a Chinese company

and they're like.

We don't care.

Well, based out of Iran, so.

Oh, it's stuck in the.

Straight of Hormuz.

If I was, then that's what I

would have said.

We had a Saturday.

It was coming from the Straits,

it.

Was.

Tell your president to get it

next.

Unfortunately, your sauna burned

down as we tried to as the ship

tried to pass.

Right.

They shot him.

They're doing no good.

Like and subscribe wherever

you're viewing or listening to

this show.

Got a few comments today.

Few comments today.

Palmer, I like your Miami Vice

type look.

It's what it looks like.

My wife bought me this shirt

over the weekend.

I told her I'd wear it today.

Oh nice.

First thing he goes.

You have a different shirt to.

Wear Yeah.

Like, no, my wife just bought

this.

It's got a shark on a smoke and

a cigar, so she's like there's

never a shirt with anybody

smoking or something.

Like you're like, you're

officially like that's geriatric

retired shirt.

Like the teal with the vacation.

The only color it came in.

Like the exactly the Ron Jon

Surf.

Shop appeal We were.

We did get it at the beach.

Yeah, exactly.

You that's you've arrived.

Congratulations.

I have other shirts like this, I

just don't wear them here.

Well, if you got a master

blender shirt, that's also

smoking on the shirt as well.

Yes, but that's not we were like

out somewhere and saw something

that you know about cigars.

He's not right.

He's a cigar guy.

He's got to have this shirt.

It's a great shirt.

I need an extra large on the

back, it's much bigger.

That's nice.

It's nice that you support your

wife.

Yeah, but the shirt's terrible.

The shirt's what?

Nothing.

Wow, Team Money says.

Isn't it about time for your

wife to call?

Team money.

Wow, here we.

Go Ding Ding Ding Ding round

one.

I didn't attack yours.

Why you couldn't get here

because your wife has doesn't

have an assistant anymore?

Leave me out of this.

You're her new assistant, if you

haven't noticed.

All right, couple comments.

T money says Noam didn't resign.

Trump fired her on May 5th for

controversy over a $220 million

ad campaign.

Ad campaign.

This stuff was found out

afterwards.

Potato.

Who knows?

Yeah, We don't Fact Check.

We don't Fact Check.

This is like cigar lounge

conversation.

This is pretty much what this

is.

Whatever the last news story was

before the show that I read.

So we just kind of rolling

through and, you know, we're

having a good.

Time I heard this thing about

this lady's husband.

Like already big fake boobies.

You're not going to believe

this.

Do.

You watch Saturday Night Live

this weekend.

I did not.

I just saw clips.

I just discussed this with Phil

over there.

They had a woman dressed up as a

man as a woman with big giant

fake balloon boobs under shirt.

Nice.

And that was the husband.

So we have so and so's husband

here today.

Nice.

And then the nipples, they had

one nipple going this way and

the other one going this way.

Yeah.

He's explaining why it's so nice

and how pretty he looked it.

Was like CW6383 says Palmer

chose violence today.

I don't remember what that.

I'm not denying it, I just don't

remember what it's in.

I believe it reference.

To and then at Mark Palmer, 570

says.

I have so many questions about

the severe homophobia from a

person that was in the Navy.

Laugh out loud.

True, he's military also yes.

Or why are you such a homophobe?

What?

What do you think that is?

Somebody tried to touch your

ship when you were in the Navy.

Yeah, I'm think I'm a

homophobia.

I think I just don't like them.

That's a that's called

homophobia.

I think somebody.

Maybe.

Somebody inspected his boat.

I feel like we should get like

we, we have to build,

incorporate something into this

to try and break Phil of his

homophobia.

Well, you want me to become gay

or something?

I mean I don't understand what?

No, just not.

Don't.

Just don't dislike.

That you don't have to be gay.

Yeah, you can just accept people

for who they are.

Well, I don't just go around

saying I hate gays.

I don't say that.

Oh, you know what it is show.

No no, I just get on but it

makes you extremely

uncomfortable for some reason.

Yeah.

I mean, listen, there's, I'm

sure there's gay people that

come upstairs and I don't say

anything.

Yeah.

And OK.

Welcome to the newest member of

the show.

Please come on.

In the bubbles.

Our Co engineer, Transvesta.

We need to find, we need to find

somebody that has a really high

flame and bring them in and like

slowly get him comfortable

interacting with Phil.

I was here when that one guy

worked there.

That one guy, One guy I.

Didn't want to say the name.

Oh, that he would be perfect.

To bring that too.

That would.

You know what?

Too bad we haven't seen that guy

in a while.

I didn't freak out when he was

here though that.

Would be cool get him to sit in

every once in a while and like

ask him questions and and slow

and like force fill through the

interactions so that he got

comfortable he.

Didn't give him anything.

He's very forward with whatever

you want to know.

He doesn't.

He doesn't get offended.

Yeah.

He was very forward with all

that.

So yeah, we're going to try and

help our friend, Yeah.

Let's.

Try to help get you help me what

I'm perfectly I'm perfectly.

Fine, don't bring him.

As he's you can't even get the

sentence out as he's wearing his

Vegas friendly mask.

I'm perfectly fine.

I have to wear this because of

you guys.

Yes.

Yeah, but we only make it work

for the show, not all day.

Long yeah, you don't have to I.

Don't wear it all day long.

OK, whatever.

Sure thing for the Patreon.

What are we smoking for the

Patreon?

We are smoking the papao.

The Papao.

It's really shiny, but kind of.

Very shiny.

Yeah, it's just a label.

We can't afford it.

We can't afford those.

We can't afford these.

We can't afford those the ADA

Bay Lanceros.

I was super excited I purposely

ordered this cigar for.

Me just for the show.

For me to try and then I

realized that I could parlay

with the show paying for it if

the nice, so it works out great.

So we're going to be.

Smoking these gadgets are

starting to add.

Up look at all these tricks

we're.

Going to be smoking these for

the next 4 weeks.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, we can't smoke any other

cigars.

So if you want to hear insider

reviews, unbiased true

decisions, also other

information that's going on

inside of the cigar industry,

check out our Patreon at

patreon.com.

A cigar hustlers podcast.

We do a release every week,

right?

And I said a Cigar Hustlers

podcast because Palmer always

corrects me if I don't say a.

Before you can't find it, see

there is a difference.

There it is.

Apparently there it is.

So we're going to get into the

cigar.

Be careful, it's very expensive.

Yeah, no shit.

Don't throw this that one.

'S broken.

It's cracked.

It was a it was a short throw.

It was.

I apologize.

All right, we're moving on.

Yeah, sounds like everything.

Moving on.

All right, a woman was fired

after clocking in from the beach

3 states away.

Clocking in.

Yes.

OK, so anyway, the way the story

goes, four months ago she

decided to work from home one

day and they were OK, that's

fine.

And then she took a little

vacation and had to zoom in one

time during her vacation because

she was away, right?

Nobody noticed.

OK, so she decided to stay.

Step on vacation.

OK, well what's wrong with that?

Well, apparently they frown on

that.

I don't know either because all

her reviews were good for the

for the last four years or four

months, whatever it was.

All the reviews were fine.

She made all the meetings.

She did a meeting from a she set

up a shower curtain behind her

so it looked like her own house

and they didn't know she did one

from or they did a they did an

after hours cocktail thing.

So she went to the tiki bar and

zoomed from there and said she

would you know, I'm working.

So so but they got her on fraud.

OK, so I'm curious as to how.

That she was terminated.

I'm curious to see how that how

that happened there she has to

do something because.

Oh what?

The way they caught her.

I know how they caught her, but

yeah, they had to do some

reason.

They apparently the way the

story reads, they were mad

because she fooled them.

Oh, you tricked us.

You tricked us.

I mean, look, here's like,

listen, if you were remote all

the time and you never came in

and you figured out how to do

all of these things and you

continue to crush, like what?

Yeah, why would you care?

Yeah, Where's Palmer?

I don't know where the hell he

is.

Bora Bora.

Like, I don't know.

Here.

Here are the 75 orders that he

got in today.

But my employment contract says

I'm remote, not I have to work

from this address.

Right.

Well, they only let her work.

Yeah, I guess.

I mean she was supposed they

thought she was 12 minutes away

but she was 4 states away.

OK.

And.

Yeah, what's?

Yeah, I don't, I don't know why

they fired her either.

Here and now.

Here's now, here's the the the

flip side of that coin is what I

will argue A lot of people

cannot operate and work well

remotely.

Sure, right, Right.

Other things get in the way.

There are plenty of other

distractions like sand and the

ocean, you know what I mean?

So if she wasn't delivering,

then that's a whole different

thing.

Like, hey, listen, I'm looking

at your reports and you're

really not doing your job, so

you go ahead and stay on the

beach.

Yeah, she, you know, did her

FaceTime or whatever in a

bikini.

No, she was dressed.

I mean she was in a bikini.

Right, right.

That's what I'm saying.

Like she didn't do that.

Right.

There was nothing inappropriate

going on, right?

She attended 87 virtual

meetings.

OK.

With a with a plain babe shower

curtain hung behind her on her

desk to replicate her home wall.

All emails, reports and

deadlines submitted in time

without a single miss

deliverable. 2 team happy hours

attended via Zoom from a

beachside tiki bar.

She's described as having

excellent Wi-Fi.

All hand all hands presentations

were delivered on time.

She did one from a paddle board

in a sheltered Cove.

Dang, why would you fire her?

She's so, you know, innovative.

She maintained full maintained

full productivity throughout.

Her performance reviews during

the period were described as

strong.

Her HR manager told HR she

seemed more relaxed lately and

had a nice glow about her.

She had a good tan.

She's crushing, right?

I mean, you know, you ever see

like remember Goodwill Hunting,

yes, with Matt Damon, it's like

I make this shit look easy.

You see this like that's that's

exactly what's going on here.

She just nailed it.

And what happened is the other

people were there's probably a

mutiny on their hands, probably

like, hey, this.

Is bullshit that is bullshit she

can't do this she's.

She's doing everything.

She's traveling remotely, and I

got to clock into this cubicle

like, well, listen, Bill, you

don't operate at the same level

as Sally does.

Unfortunately, I have to oversee

everything that you do.

Yeah, Bill, it's not my fault.

You're a bad negotiator.

Yeah.

So she got caught.

One of her colleagues sent a

DoorDash gift card to her home.

She obviously wasn't there.

The neighbor received it and

said she hadn't been here in

months.

We haven't seen it.

The neighbor.

Fucked her.

Well, the DoorDash thing.

It was her anniversary gesture

from one of her colleagues.

Like, congratulations for being

here for a year.

Here's a gift card.

That's even worse.

I know.

Can you imagine like

unintentionally getting that

person fired?

You sent them a gift.

That means that you cared enough

about them.

Right, Somebody did.

It wasn't HR.

It was just somebody she worked

with.

Like Phil sent her a gift card.

Right.

And then they reported it

unintentionally I would assume.

Well, they came back.

Nobody accepted.

It like, hey, you're not going

to believe this, the person

said.

Well, she hasn't been there.

I sent a gift card to Michelle

and she hasn't been home since

June, they said.

Right.

Is she OK?

Is everything all right there?

So how do they find her?

This is the gift card thing.

They zoomed her.

They gift carded her.

You know, the gift card

returned.

They find out she had been home

since June, so somebody probably

called her and goes, look, the

gig's up.

We know.

Not even a warning, they just

fired her.

She was terminated.

That's a.

Fraud.

What is the company?

No, that did not give her the.

Name doesn't say no no.

No, she told HR the arrangement

approved remote work could

function anywhere, and offered

to submit her four month

performance data as supporting

evidence.

HR did not accept the evidence.

The base shower curtain is still

in the rental unit.

Michelle has a tan that her

termination paperwork cannot

explain.

So yeah, they just flat out

fired her for lying I guess.

I don't know, that sounds kind

of actually she's got.

Retainer.

Yeah, no kidding.

Can you say what was the problem

with the Michelle's work, ma'am?

Well, she was really tan.

And how did you know that she

was at the beach?

She was really tan.

You can't keep using that.

Yeah, I mean, if she did, if

she, if she delivered, what's

the problem?

Right.

Did she not do any work?

No, no, she did everything.

Everything was just fine.

Right, she wouldn't accept the

gift card from her Co worker.

Phil, who was congratulating

her, Yeah, said Phil.

No, I think the the reason why

it happened is because the

people who aren't as equipped as

her and able.

Yeah, somebody.

Come able to handle, you know,

working remote right and they're

pissed off because they're stuck

in the office all the.

Time in the cubicles.

Yeah, right.

Like this isn't.

Zooming from a paddle board.

Right, this isn't fair.

Instead of them trying to figure

out hey what the hell am I doing

wrong?

How do you fake the background

from the paddle board?

I guess they hit the green

screen button on the thing.

I don't know.

That's what I said.

This lady's innovative.

We're all like, why would you

fire this type of person?

She's great for your company.

Yeah, how did you not get

caught?

Yeah.

Laptop got wet.

I think she's got a lawsuit on

her hands.

I think she.

Does.

Oh yeah, no, definitely.

Oh yeah, false termination or

whatever hell it's.

Called.

Yeah, I did my job.

I did my job.

Sounds like she's got a good

paying job too, so it's probably

going to be a lot of.

Money.

I mean, it's enough to make the

news.

So yeah, you're right.

Harry, we got a Florida Man 00.

OK.

Florida man was arrested retro

living in an IKEA for 11 days.

Nice.

People thought he worked there.

Oh yes, he ate all his food in

the cafeteria.

Smart slept.

In one of the beds at night

after everybody left.

Perfect.

During the day, he would walk

around with an IKEA vest on and

help customers.

Sounds like charitable labor

right there.

Right after 11 days they people

were like why is this?

Did you hire him?

He's he hasn't bathed.

He probably just needed.

Probably cleaned up in the

bathrooms at night or something,

yeah.

Bathroom or sink showers.

The last customers he helped

were two people in the lighting

department.

They said he was a wonderful

man.

He knew he seemed to know the

products well and he helped them

make a decision for new lights

in their house.

He's been studying them for 11

days.

But they're getting in for

trespassing after spending 11

consecutive days living inside

the IKEA over on I Drive.

Oh, this is close.

It's local, it's local.

It's a lovely.

That's a lovely IKEA.

I've never been in that one I.

Haven't been there in a couple

of years, but.

Yeah, he was sleeping in the

bedrooms, eating from the

cafeteria.

And.

Moving through the store with

such purpose and familiarity

that four employees asked him

questions, he answered each one

correctly, and one manager

scheduled him for Thursday to

cover another employee.

Nice.

They put him on the schedule.

Phil, get well, one guy.

Hey, Phil's not going to make it

anymore.

Can you cover for him?

I don't see you on the schedule.

Sure, I'll cover for Phil on

Thursday.

So we got arrested.

Not for trespassing.

Do you think when he, oh, you

know, once he makes bail or he's

released, maybe they hire this

guy?

I mean, the best ability is

availability.

The guy was there for 11

consecutive days.

I think.

He was there so much to a point

where they were looking for him

to fill in for other people.

Yeah, I think, I think what's

going to happen is I think a

lawyer, because this is Florida

and we know the ambulance

chasers are here.

I think a lawyer in Florida is

going to grab a hold of this guy

and go and sue IKEA for labor

laws you.

Can't.

They put him on a schedule and

he had.

They don't.

Know if they wrote his name and

they just asked him to cover?

Yeah, they asked if he could

fill him.

Yeah, they still, I mean, I

don't know, man, it's Florida's

such a weird state when it comes

to all that stuff.

It's a It's a really weird

state.

Sounds like a man who.

Has, but you should definitely.

You should definitely.

Have some experience in a

lawsuit you?

Should you should definitely

follow this guy though this

story.

Yeah, you should follow up on

this, Palmer, and see what

happens.

All right, we'll.

See what happens?

All right, So hey, listen,

you're a little wishy washy,

right?

Maybe you're, you know, a couple

cards short of a full deck and

you're looking for a place, a

store, a department, some

something that where you're

like, hey, you know what?

I can wear the vest.

I can stay here.

What is the ideal store for you

to stay at?

Well, do I have to be a couple

of cards short of a full deck?

I mean, you are.

If you're smarter, this is.

I mean, this guy, he ate three

meals a day.

He paid for them in cash.

He didn't steal anything.

He rotated the linens every

three days on the beds he was

sleeping in.

So they didn't even know they.

Didn't even know, you know, he

made the bed up every morning so

sound like a homeless guy that

just, you know, figured it out.

Yeah.

So I think that, you know, maybe

maybe there's something wrong

there, but OK, let's just say,

OK, I'm going to walk it back

and say you have the full deck.

Where do you stay?

What's your department store?

What?

What's the store that's ideal?

It's got to be somewhere that

has food.

I've got one in mind right now.

OK.

Well then I'll jump to you,

Phil.

Go ahead.

The Hard Rock.

It's a restaurant.

No, no, that's a casino.

Oh, you would work.

You would work at the Hard Rock

Casino.

Yep, either in Tampa or Miami.

OK, Yep.

So like give me a, give me the

schematics, some of the game

plan.

Would you hang around the slots?

Every I'd go everywhere.

I mean, I'd, you know, I'd find

somebody to get a little vest

from.

Be like, hey man, I forgot my

vest today.

Can you give me one?

Right.

Yeah.

I'd ask.

I'd ask the the hotel whatever

they are certain I can say

servants.

Cleaning ladies, the cleaning

ladies, the room, whatever they

called the room.

Cleaning cleaning ladies like.

Maid service.

I don't know what you're called

either.

I can't get in my room.

Do you have the key card?

And I need some towels, you

know, get in a room.

So you'd stay in rooms

overnight?

Yeah, and then they serve

Monday, Wednesday and Fridays as

lobster days.

Yeah, but but are you stealing

the food?

How are you paying for the food?

No, it's buffets.

So you're buying the Buffet?

You don't have to buy the

buffet.

If you get, if they say if you

gamble, you can just go, you get

the buffet.

I'm sure it's not like a guy

there, don't you?

You get a.

Ticket or something?

I would imagine you can't gamble

when you're on the clock.

Yeah, but I would just walk up

with my vest and take it off.

But hey man, I'm on break.

Let me get some lobster.

I don't know if it works that

way.

Yeah, I don't think that way.

I'd have to see how the

operation.

Works so hard, so hard rock's

your move.

Yeah, that would be my.

Move a little Costco.

Costco, Yeah.

OK.

Are you saying that because

Mikey likes Costco?

No, no, it'd be easy.

It'd be an easy setup once you

get in.

Yeah.

But it's not open for a little

thing inside one of the racks or

something with a toilet paper or

something soft or something.

Yeah, you.

And then during the day, you

just sort of walk around, eat

the samples.

You just sleep on the couch

there.

They got nice couches.

Yeah, but I would I try to stay

hidden.

You don't know what kind of

security cameras and.

Is there samples every day?

There's samples every day at

some.

Point so you need the samples

eat.

The samples.

So it's like you get super.

Clean up at night in the

bathroom?

Yeah.

Sure.

See how you got to be easy to?

Do Houseco's pretty good?

Or Sam's.

Either one would work.

Big box stores, big racks.

You could easily make a little

Fort inside of one of those

setups.

BJ's.

Oh, is that your new thing?

Notice how I said it and I look

to you.

That's weird.

But I'm going to tell you BJ's

has the best prices for Dum

Dums.

So you remember BJ, you remember

of all the club things I know

you go to Costco all the.

Time.

I'm not a member of B JS.

I just know somebody that goes

there and I say hey, I need Dum

Dums.

How much cheaper are the Dum

Dums?

Like $4.00 a bag cheaper.

Sometimes at Publix I see in the

buy one get one rack, you know

in the weekly special they've

had big bags of dum.

Dums, I buy these megalodon

bags.

Well, I'm sure it's the bigger

ones.

Right.

Yeah, Gigantic.

Hi the kindergarteners bro last

week.

I'm not going to say her name,

but she knows who she is.

She's not an avid listener

either.

She's because she's.

Semi listener.

No, she doesn't listen at all.

Say her name.

So we were talking up, me and

Coach Preston were talking,

reviewing about the practice and

then I walk up to my bag.

She went into my duffel bag and

blew up the Dum Dums.

Oh yes, all over the place.

Why'd she do that for?

Us.

She tried to open the bag.

Probably, yeah.

And she just shredded it and

dumped it all out.

Oh, I.

Was like was there a parent?

Or a child.

That's a kid, he says.

She's 5.

Kid yeah, I didn't hear her.

Sorry.

I'm reading for the next comment

I'm.

Like this is how we lose the Dum

Dums.

There will be no more Dum Dums.

So I'm saying the five year old

is not an avid listener to the.

Show.

Yeah, that was my joke.

Yeah.

And you're like so.

But yeah, the Dum Dums will

continue.

And on day two, he went through

the break room.

That's where he got the vest.

Smart.

Yes, 14 customer interactions in

which you provided accurate

product and assembly guidance.

Sounds like this guy's got a

job.

Yeah, they should hire him when

he gets back.

Wild.

OK, so I don't know where where

I would stay.

Oh yeah, I was going to ask you

what your choice is.

I don't know, I think I'd try

and go like theme park.

Yes, that's outside though.

There's indoor portions of it.

Yeah, but don't they lock all

that stuff up at night?

No, do they not?

No, because they have like

pressure washer guys and

cleaners and stuff.

Yeah, through.

The night maintenance works at

night.

But they go in and clean up like

the restaurant area, yeah.

They clean everything.

Yep, all the hoods and stuff.

Oh, they don't lock that after

they're done.

No, everything.

It's it's like the park still

operating at night time.

Oh, see, too many people.

They'd have to do work.

But they don't.

But no, but they don't work

there like they're

subcontractors as the.

Well, right.

But still, they got some guy

sleeping, you know, by the

Slurpee machine.

They're going to say something.

Well Mike, he only sleeps like 2

hours.

Anyway, just need a clipboard.

Yeah, maintenance guy's taking a

nap.

Like, I'm not going to throw him

out.

Not going to narc on him.

He could sleep on the bus at the

Harry Potter.

Line the one guy with the gift

card narc on Michelle.

It's true.

There's always somebody.

Hey, why can't I?

Why can't we sleep?

You know, if we can't sleep?

Tell on big boy over here

sleeping with a hot dog.

Big boy over here.

Wow.

Well, he's mad at you.

That's.

Not nice big boy, huh?

I don't know why they call you

that.

I wouldn't, obviously.

Yeah, yeah, right.

OK, maybe he sleeps inside

Spider Man Ryan, you know, by

the city.

Yeah, I'm trying to figure out

where the best bed would be

though.

Yeah, oh, Cat in the Hat.

I was thinking that but is there

beds in there?

Yeah, there's one.

Not where the blue people live.

What blue people?

The blue people, I don't

remember the name of the movie.

There's land, people, water.

People Avatar.

Yeah, There you go.

That's Disney.

Oh, I'm saying Universal.

Yeah, he's got a membership.

Yeah, I'm saying universal,

buddy.

Oh.

You're getting it for free

anyway, right?

Yeah, let's walk in.

Go grab a vest.

I'm trying to think where to

sleep.

Over figure out where the work

room is.

Yeah, find out where the break

room.

Is, yeah.

Do they get free food to the

employees?

Probably.

Yeah, you just clipboard away.

You could.

There's that little hotel in

there.

Inside the park.

Yeah, when you're going towards

like right when you walk in, you

turn right, used to be

Terminator there and you keep on

going, go over the bridge, right

on the right side, there's like

a little hotel.

No, there isn't not.

That's not a real hotel.

But it looks like a hotel.

You can make it a.

Hotel that's actually where they

you get like they'll review

demos for TV shows there if you

go in and sit and watch and

they'll give you a gift card.

Oh, oh, nice.

But you got to fit the

demographic.

Maybe in the Harry Potter train

you can sleep in there.

Oh yeah, there you go, Harry

Potter train just.

Have to watch out for that thing

that comes by and go get you

what the the monster things?

I don't know what they're

called.

Oh OK, I haven't been in a

while.

All right.

OK, moving on.

All right, we have an Artemis. 2

updates Oh good.

OK, well today, yeah it is

today, but it'll be this will be

up tomorrow.

So yesterday they flew around

the moon.

So when this story broke they

were halfway there.

The art of the astronauts

prepared for their historic

lunar fly by, which happened

yesterday.

But the toilet is still a no go

for #1.

Boy, so she's not the plumber.

No, I heard on the radio it's

fixed again this morning, but as

of yesterday.

Piss was flying everywhere.

No, it gives off a burning smell

and it smells like an old space

heater.

Well, that's not good.

No, I imagine you don't like the

smell of burning when you're in

the space.

Capsule Imagine spending $30

million on something and it not

working.

Right, but now they think the

problem is the line froze.

Yeah, so the P can't be ejected

apparently.

So you were right, they ejected

into space.

I feel like I could do this for

like 29 million.

Save NASA.

I could totally build.

Well, this is the same one they

put on the Space Center, I mean

the space station.

So it has worked in the past.

There's just something wrong

with this one.

I could do it better and for

less.

Sign me up today.

Send you up there.

I'll work down here.

I'll AI an awesome toilet.

It'll be great.

Help me develop the schematics

for a NASA toilet.

Toilet for a spaceship?

Well, funny enough, that's how

they did it.

And then they printed all the

parts and put it together and

it's not working.

So what I'm going to do is then

I would say looking at the

schematics from the previous,

there you go, there are problems

here, here and here.

Help me correct these issues and

then just submit it.

So they are the furthest away

from Earth that anyone has ever

been.

Wow.

And for 40 minutes today,

they're completely on their own

note when they get around to the

other side.

No communication.

No communication for 40 minutes.

Didn't one of the Apollo's have

to go around the moon to

slingshot it or something?

Nope.

Is that in the movie?

Yeah.

That was in the movie.

That was a rhythm.

Yeah, Hanks did not really go.

It wasn't.

He didn't really go.

No, and nobody calls it The Dark

Side of the Moon.

That is the Pink Floyd album,

right?

It's called The Far Side of the

Moon.

The far side.

It's not really dark, so we

don't need lights.

We don't even need lights.

No, we can see.

That dark on the other side?

Yeah, you can see they probably

released a photo.

This is.

Today, because the moon.

Yeah, the moon.

Aluma Lumas.

Yeah, Aluma Luma, it's.

Just shadows.

So it's like a glow glowy thing

in the in the space?

Is that what you're telling me?

It illuminates I?

Guess I.

Don't know.

Yeah, interesting.

So it doesn't like sun, doesn't

reflect off it or anything like

that.

No, it absorbs it and then.

It and then it turns like that,

neon green, like like a glow

stick.

Yeah, because it's just

illuminating.

Yeah, I told you what they were

doing with this whole trip.

This is.

This is it.

That well.

Let's see how far they can go.

Yeah, yeah.

OK, what it means?

See how far they can go.

See how far away they can get.

Yeah, because then they want to

go to the next one.

Oh well, I thought this was the

drive by to find a good place to

land so that we in two years

that's where we're going.

Yeah, right.

That's what they're saying.

That's what they don't, yeah.

Yeah, roads.

We don't need roads.

Right.

When you are they're.

Usually using rocket, they're

using, like I said, the

slingshot thing.

So there's really no.

They use the gravitational

force.

Gravitational pull of.

Slang themselves back.

Around, swing back around so

there's no chance it will not

work.

Not like they can run out of gas

and get stuck.

So this didn't have any

Apollo's.

So yeah, I'm I'm trying to

figure out.

No, they went up and landed.

Are you?

No, the the Tom Hanks movie was

about how it didn't work.

Are you agreeing the whole time,

Palmer?

Is this what they're really

doing or?

But yeah, well, that's what I've

read.

Oh, OK.

Yeah, So what are you?

It happened in the movie.

I just don't.

I don't.

Know.

I mean, they could be hanging

out with the Transformers on the

backside, I don't know.

Suppose we never went to the

moon, Mikey.

So.

We did go to the moon.

No, no, I think we've all given

in and we have gone to the moon

because that one lady on TikTok

said so, right?

What are you looking at?

Have we ever seen shot?

Apparently not, because these

people are.

Unless you're doing a wider

slingshot.

Because these four people are as

far away as anyone's ever been.

Somebody call Mr. Hanks.

Unless like the moon.

Unless the moon is like further

out at this current point.

I don't think that happens.

Apollo 13 was a true story.

It was the 7th crude mission in

the Apollo space program after

an oxygen tank exploded 2 days

into the mission.

The crew never landed on the

moon but did loop around it.

By Slingshot.

Yeah.

So I'm right.

So how is this the further, how

is this further away than that?

I don't know.

That's what everybody's saying.

I should, we should question

them.

Hey, Tom Hanks did it.

Yeah, Tom Hanks did it.

That's what happened on the

auction blew up.

I was never familiar.

I did.

I was very young back then.

Were you in 30s?

In the 30s, yeah.

Back in the 30s.

Was I in my 30s?

Yeah, you were in your 30s.

That's what I was saying.

It was, it was, it was before

1970 something, wasn't it?

Because then when we landed, so

it decided to be there before

that.

OK, All right.

I got to get out of the story if

you.

Heard what they want everybody

to do though, so you know they

come back around the other side.

They went NASA to all put like

ape mask on and stuff.

So when they reestablish contact

on the other side.

That'd be great.

It's plan of the apes that

would.

Be hilarious, What happened?

It's just like the movie I told

you.

All right?

Three women have been arrested

in Miami.

I know it's not a big deal, but

they were arrested on an

airplane.

OK.

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Let's take bets.

There's like 2 Florida, what

type of what did they do?

What type of women?

What type of you mean?

Homosexual women maybe?

OK, well then I can't.

I want to get the names right,

so I have the names here.

But if I say the names, you'll

figure it out.

No, no, that does not give the

answer away because it could be

any type of name.

OK, tell me.

No, you, you guys were going to

guess it though.

OK, Yeah, we're going to guess.

Well, I think that they were.

What were they doing?

They got drunk and disorderly.

I think they were trying to take

over the plane.

That would have made national

news.

Well, he's reading it.

It's not like I made this up.

Maybe.

OK.

All right, let us.

Know three women?

Yeah.

Davanya.

Kenya Cochran.

OK.

Nafisa Yasmine Daiquiri.

Oh yeah, they took over the

board.

And Dianjana, Marlene Cochran,

OK.

They're all Cochran's.

No2, Cochran's and a Dockery.

Like Johnny?

Like Johnny Cochran.

Dockery, not cockery.

Dockery.

Dockery, Dockery.

Not Cochran.

No Dockery.

Oh, Cochrane, the other one.

Cochran.

Yeah, two sisters and a

different.

Johnny Cochrane.

And a different young lady.

All right, so they're getting on

a frontier airline.

Oh boy.

They wouldn't charge them for

their carry ONS because they

have too much luggage.

Right.

And then they get mad we're not

paying for the luggage.

Yeah, this one's.

To pay for the luggage not

paying, girls run and they all

three run into the plane.

Wow, wow.

One of the young ladies has pink

hair, so it's not like they're

going to hide once.

They're easy to find, easy to

find.

They were escorted off the plane

in handcuffs.

It's a federal offense because

it's an airplane.

Oh man.

Yeah, they're.

In the pokey.

As soon as you pass the as soon

as you went into the jetway,

that was it.

Yep, people don't understand

that.

It's all about how you handle

this, you know what I mean?

Well, there was, there was a bit

of a scuffle on the plane, a lot

of arm pulling, which one lady

hit one of the policemen.

Oh, you.

Don't want to do that assault on

an officer.

Assault on an officer?

Yeah, two of them.

Got what's it called?

Aggravated assault.

No, no, you, you won't get

arrested.

So you, you fight with the

police, but no violence.

And then the other one got.

Like misdemeanor or something?

No.

No, they're all federally

charged.

They're all federally.

There's no misdemeanor.

Here, they didn't get arrested.

No, no, they did.

They got escorted off the plane

of handcuffs there in the Miami

federal prison thing now.

Gotcha.

Resisting arrest without

violence for two of them and

resisting the arrest with

violence for one of them.

See, it's all about how you

handle these things, man, you

really got to.

You got to know what you're

doing, you know what I mean?

You talking about from the women

or the?

People that arrested the women,

like how to handle this?

Like how to, you know, so like I

had a situation where I was

delivering a package and it was,

it was an expensive package and

I was not letting this package

leave my site, correct?

So what I did was I upgraded to

business class, step number one.

Step number 2 was I didn't check

the measurements intentionally

and I kept going.

And step #3 is when the lady

says after I scan my ticket, I'm

walking down the thing.

Hey, that's too big.

I just kept going.

That's what they did, pretending

like I didn't hear them.

I didn't argue with anybody.

And when I got there, when I was

up top, the, the we would look

at it, putting it up top.

And the lady's like, huh, It

doesn't seem to go this way.

Like, you know, we'll just put

it sideways and just close this

one.

It's like, perfect.

Yeah.

She figured you already got past

everybody.

Somebody okayed it.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

You can't.

You know, like you can't.

Yo, white bitch, we're not

paying well.

I don't know if that was

probably what was said or not.

There was, yeah.

That was what was that?

Well, not that exactly, but

there was, they did, they did

mention that there was, you

know, bad words.

It's all about being how you,

how you handle yourself in that,

you know.

And then one lady says to the

other two, run, yeah, we ain't

paying.

How much is it for an additional

carry on?

I don't know.

Probably 70. 5 bucks.

Yeah, 5050 to 75, I would.

Imagine.

Damn, that's a lot.

To go to federal prison.

Yeah to to not go to federal

prison.

I'll pay 50 bucks not to go to

federal.

All I'm saying is, if you're a

little bit more slick about it,

you probably would have been.

Fine.

Yeah, if you would have handled

it nicely, yeah, you might have,

you know, got by.

So with women, it's a fine line

on these type of airlines

because your purse counts as

your carry on.

So what you what my wife does is

she puts her purse inside the

backpack.

Well, and then the.

Backpack is the carry on.

Well normally you get a personal

item and a carry on.

No, because if you pay for the

carry on, yes in.

Frontier.

But but you you don't get a free

carry on, you have to pay for

the carry on it's either.

Carry on, Frontier.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So when she lays frontier, even

a legion that she flies all the

time back in Missouri, the

backpack becomes her purse

because the purse is in the

backpack.

That's her personal item.

Right, that's her personal line.

Yeah, I don't know why anybody

flies Frontier.

I've said this multiple times,

It's cheap.

Is it?

It is if you do it right.

Not if you got a carry on.

Well, if you make it your

personal item, so yeah, it's

mean.

Next time, put your purse in the

backpack.

Make it a personal.

Item yeah, not mean.

Oh, that's your middle name.

Sorry, Nafisa.

Where were they going?

Where was the flight going?

There was no mention aware the

flight was delayed by an hour

because of the three women.

People were yelling at them as

they're being dragged off the

plane.

Well, that's ridiculous.

Do people yell on?

Yeah, well, I used to delayed my

flight.

I'm going to yell a bad word at

this.

Yeah, that makes no sense.

I don't.

Know you know where people are.

Yeah.

Yeah, you take her to jail.

Dude, you can convince me to fly

a Frontier flight, I would never

do it.

What about Allegiant?

Would you fly Allegiant?

Depends what about Spirit?

Allegiant is smaller and they're

usually out of the smaller

airport.

Yeah, they're I.

Actually flew in a legion the

the seats weren't bad like the

experience wasn't bad.

Oh, it's a nice little airline,

Yeah.

But yeah, you're going out of

secondary airports, which isn't

a big deal, right?

Unless it's so small they don't

have rental cars.

Now, sometimes that's a problem.

Now what was the the other one

spirit?

No, not happening.

Why not Spirit?

Because it's the same realm of

front frontier.

And you know what's even funnier

is we went to the airport one

day when we let Dum Dum upstairs

book our PCA flight.

I was like, oh we're going to do

Spirit and it's going to blah

blah blah.

We're going to save all this

money.

I'm like, OK whatever dude.

I surrendered and gave that one

up and we get there and we

missed sending our check bags in

by like 2 minutes.

And like, sorry, you can't get

your check bag in.

Like, what do you mean?

Like yeah, you had to be here 2

minutes ago.

There was a cut off.

Right.

I'm like what?

Like, yeah, I'm like, OK, So

what do we do?

Like you need to book another

flight or you need to just

abandoned your bags or

something.

Abandoned my bag.

I was like, OK, no problem.

So I booked our flights on

United that now go, here's the

next flight going out.

We're out of here.

And because he booked through

one of these value places, these

value trip places, Yeah, you got

no money back.

Yeah, so.

Last time Greg ever does that

again.

Dude, I will happily pay a

premium for good customer

service period.

And so will Phil as he yawns.

Sorry.

So no spirits out.

I won't fly spirit.

I won't fly frontier.

I would fly a Legion.

You don't like the people on the

other two?

I don't like the lack of

customer service and I don't

like the hidden fees on things.

I think that's ridiculous.

Just charge me up front.

Charge me, Really.

Let me get the peanuts and the

soda.

Yeah, you know, like let's just,

I don't need the the extra

stuff, the extra crap, so all.

Right, you have a video for us.

I do.

We're running along today.

Whoa.

I like that.

We're going like an hour, hour

and a half.

Sometimes, sometimes I do feel,

I just want to know.

I do feel the pressure on the

videos.

I was like oh man, I need a

video.

Well, you don't want him to be

like see another another day.

No video.

I know, so this is video from

NASA.

It's funny you were talking

about.

Received confirmation that the

Orion spacecraft and its crew

have officially entered the

lunar sphere of influence, that

milestone taking place at a

mission elapsed time of four

days 6.

Hours, 2 minutes and 54 seconds

into the Artemis 2 mission.

By reaching this milestone, it

means that the gravitational

forces of the Moon are now

greater on the Orion spacecraft

than that of Earth.

That we noticed we entered the

litter sphere of influence about

an hour ago, and sure enough we

are now falling to the moon

rather than rising away from

Earth.

It is an amazing milestone.

Also earlier we had the earth

out as a Crescent out the side

hatch and the moon out window. 3

And definitely by far the moon

is bigger than the.

They're on they they are stating

that it's flat out bigger than

the.

Earth people on the Artemis are,

yeah.

Oh, it's pretty cool.

How long is this video?

Just a minute.

So do you think like they have,

they have instruments on the

spaceship to be able to tell how

big a planet is?

Probably.

Yeah.

So they probably probably did.

That hey, we look closer and

it's big.

It's very big.

But there's a lot of there's

more gravitational pull on the

other side.

On the other side of what?

Isn't that what they were

saying?

The gravitational pull force.

They're saying that as they

enter it, as they get closer to

it, there's gravitational pull.

Well, no, it said in the when I

was Rena, it said that there was

Show Notes

From IKEA Survival to Space Launches… and Espinosa Bringing Heat

On today’s Show Can’t go to the beach and zoom call a meeting? Man Lives in Ikea for 11 days, Three Women find out that Carry on is extra, Artemis II update and then cigars, Espinosa has a lot, Plasencia gets a new look and Morning Sunrise is amazing…plus a fiery What’s The Score!!1

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