ACHP Episode 527 Raw Street Power
Episode Summary
Episode 527 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast is a Phil-less, fast-moving news episode with host Mike Palmer, Mike D on the board, and returning co-host "Triple G" (Greg). The first half is the show's usual off-the-rails general news block: actress Jaime Pressly launching an OnlyFans page (part of a broader trend of mid-40s-and-up Hollywood actresses monetizing directly, including Denise Richards), Apple's $250 million class-action settlement over overpromised iPhone AI/Siri features (payouts of roughly $25–$95 for iPhone 15 Pro Max and 16 buyers), and an Apple iOS security patch that closes a hole letting the FBI recover deleted Signal messages from notification logs. There's also an international oddity about a British strongman towing a police car with his penis for prostate cancer awareness, a local Orange City school burglary (lanyards, hot dogs, ice cream, and an Allen wrench set), and a viral clip of an adult assaulting a kid doing wheelies in a Florida neighborhood.
The cigar industry segment is the meat for trade listeners. The crew breaks down the Court of International Trade's 2-1 ruling that the current Section 122 10% tariffs are illegal — the follow-up to the Supreme Court striking down the sweeping April 2025 tariff scheme — and what that actually means for a retailer with inbound product: likely customs/paperwork delays, confusion over what rate to declare, another growing refund pool, and Greg's blunt take that refunds flow to importers, not the consumers who ultimately paid. Palmer also relays a rumor that a California enforcement official walked into a cigar shop and enforced the UTL registry rule, demanding unregistered product be pulled under threat of fines, with no clear pathway to compliance. They then cover the Oregon Supreme Court upholding Washington County's flavored tobacco ban in Schwartz v. Washington County, and the SB 587 licensing-versus-local-ban preemption question at its core.
Along the way, Palmer and Mike D compare knives sent by 13 Knives / 14 Knives (a PCA pickup and a mailed package with a leather belt sheath), and the show closes with "Brother Against Brother — What's the Score," guessing the Halfwheel/Brooks Whittington review score for the Lost & Found Diet Pepper Cream Soda, a $10 5x52 belicoso from 2016. Clues cite excellent construction, creamy almond, cocoa, coffee and popcorn notes with honey sweetness on the retrohale, offset by a harsh, sour, earthy-leather opening. The final score is 88 — Mike D nails it. The episode ends abruptly when a customer, Art, calls in from the locked front door because the crew recorded past opening time.
In This Episode
- 01No Phil, Swag and CommentsPalmer, Mike D and Triple G open with CHPod.com merch, Patreon, and listener comments while Phil is off filming a zombie movie.
- 02Hollywood Actresses and OnlyFansJaime Pressly's new OnlyFans page sparks a conversation about older actresses taking control of their income, including Denise Richards.
- 03Apple's $250 Million AI SettlementApple settles a class action over misleading iPhone AI/Siri marketing, with roughly 37 million eligible phones and $25–$95 payouts.
- 04Apple Patches the FBI's Signal LoopholeAn iOS security update closes a vulnerability that let the FBI pull deleted Signal messages from retained notification logs.
- 05Strange News: Car Pulls, Lanyards and WheeliesA prostate cancer awareness car-pulling stunt in England, an Orange City school burglary, and a Florida adult charged over a kid doing wheelies.
- 06Court Rules Trump's 10% Tariffs IllegalThe Court of International Trade's 2-1 Section 122 ruling and what it means for cigar importers, shipment delays, refunds and retail pricing.
- 07California UTL Registry Enforcement RumorPalmer relays a report of a state official walking into a California shop and ordering unregistered cigars pulled under threat of fines.
- 08Oregon Flavored Tobacco Ban UpheldThe Oregon Supreme Court sides with Washington County in Schwartz v. Washington County over SB 587 preemption of its flavored tobacco ban.
- 09What's the Score: Lost & Found Diet Pepper Cream SodaThe crew guesses Brooks Whittington's review score for the $10 Lost & Found belicoso, landing on a final rating of 88.
Brands & Cigars Discussed
Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.
Transcript
Welcome to Cigar Hustler Podcast Episode 527. I'm Mike Palmer, your host. We have no Phil today. He's out on the set of his new movie where he plays a zombie in love with another zombie, and it's called Dead Inside Him.
So we have Mike D over there pushing the buttons trying to prove that yes, a gorilla can operate at the engineering board. Yes. And then back by a popular man getting a day off from his Peru mountain training, Triple G is with us again today. Peruvian mountain training.
Peruvian mountain training. Peruvian mountain training. Love that for you. That's very nice.
All right, on today's show, we've got to keep moving. Another Hollywood actress goes to OnlyFans, Apple settles for $250 million. The FBI can't see me now, and in Europe it's a weird way to tow a police car. Wieners, we got more wieners than in cigars, 10% is not legal and someone else bans flavored cigars.
Then a brother against brother, what's the score to see who mom loves best? Oh, that's easy. He wins. But first, Mikey, how do we get some of that CHPod swag?
com where you can get all our CHPod swag. com, us, Cigar Hustlers podcast, wherever you pay for the entire year up front, you're gonna get 10% off, like, and subscribe wherever you're viewing or watching the show, and I have a few comments for you guys, let me see here, let me put this on, let me put this on YouTube, there, ooh, yeah, okay, hold on. - One second. What am I doing?
What's going on? - Not prepared again? - No, this is how I do this. - Maybe you should do it differently.
- No, I like doing it this way. - It's not good, though. - It is good. At Bryce Field, 2489 to start the day.
Mikey showing his greatness for what's the score. - Of course he picked that one. - When he actually tries. Yes.
Yes. - Oh, well, see, today you can't see this over here at all. Yeah. Oh, who knows?
Who knows? I can't see it regardless. Yeah. Okay.
Okay. Uh, Texas Southpaw says, uh, imagine Matt Booth showing up with a helicopter filled with Little Debbie snacks in regards to the new virus that we're dealing with across the board. Have you seen it? It's all over the news now.
Yes. We, we had it before it was a big story. We broke. We broke the story.
The virus? Or Matt Booth? No, the cruise ship virus that's killing people. Oh, okay.
Yeah. " Yes. How did he do that? It's not live.
I have no idea. I have no idea. " I don't get that one. What was that one about?
I don't like not seeing you, by the way. I don't know. Don't you look at me. Also, also, by the way, you have a contestant in your...
I know there's two, there's three. Oh, there's three? There's three. I just saw Epicurean Smokes.
Oh, no, there's three. Okay. Okay. Well, Epicurean Smokes...
The Beanie Baby ones was one of them. Oh, maybe it was. Yeah. Okay.
And a very different show, much closer to Half Baked. 4 speed when you watch the blurriness. So, if you want to hear your comment read aloud on the show, or the possibility of it happening, just simply comment below on this episode, and we may read it out loud. And now, we are on with the show.
You're going to be on two shows in a row. Two, that's right, yeah. Well, this one was not scheduled. Right.
I was told about this in the car ride over. His movie came up all of a sudden, he had to go shoot today. Dead inside me. Dead inside me.
Dead inside me. All right, now with the news. Welcome back to the news! My name is Earl star Jamie Presley.
You guys know who she is? The blonde? The hot blonde? Yeah, what else was she in?
She was in something else, though. I don't know. Let's read on. Maybe they'll mention something else.
Oh, okay. I have no idea. She has started an OnlyFans page. Oh.
I've always believed in evolving with the times. Jamie Presley is the latest Hollywood star to make the jump to OnlyFans. m. So let's see, Presley said in a statement to Variety Decision to join OnlyFans, "This is another way for me to connect directly with my audience on my own terms with creativity and intention.
" Greg. Interesting. Triple G, are you excited about Jamie Presley's OnlyFans? No.
He's looking around, are you? No, I'm not necessarily excited about anybody's OnlyFans. What I find intriguing is, And I thought, I just looked it up, she's a little older to be doing this. Yeah.
Yeah. She's 48, right? I thought that that was about how old she was, being that, you know, the show and the timeline, but yeah. Right.
48 years old. Um, what was the, uh, what's the apple pie? What was that movie? American Pie.
American Pie. American Pie, yeah. The girl that comes in and gets him to be naked, she did an OnlyFans last week. Yeah, she did.
Yeah, these two went on Instagram and posed with pictures together, like, we're doing things together type stuff. Yeah. Well, the scratch that they can take down is insane, though. Yeah.
The first girl made over a million dollars in seven days. Wow. That's wild. That's wild.
I mean, she's doing adult-type content, nudity and stuff. There's been no mention of Jamie Presley is doing that. She's mostly behind the scenes and everyday life-type stuff. Wait, wait, wait.
What else is OnlyFans 4, if not pornography? I don't understand. There's a source of stuff on there. Really?
I mean, I've never seen any of it. I've never been on it at all. Sure, sure. Well, we had that brief thing where we were looking at it to be our Patreon source and stuff.
There is cooking shows, there's DJs that do stuff. Like they're cooking naked? No, no, they're just cooking. It's a cooking show.
Workout shows and stuff. Palmer was showing his feet. Yeah, I was showing my feet, trying to get me... I was showing my feet.
Yeah, but this is definitely a common trend. You're starting to see this with, you know, sub, or no, mid-40s and above, like these actors that are older that are starting to do this. This is a thing now. That's quick money, why wouldn't you?
It's quick, easy money, and they have complete control of whatever it is they want to put up. Yeah, show the titty. Right. Who's the lady, she was young, she did the bug movie, where the bugs, they were attacking bugs on different planets.
She was the pilot of the ship. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Starship Troopers. Yeah, that girl, she's doing it, and she does all sorts of adult stuff with a daughter. Another one that's got to be up there in age.
Oh, she's got to be in her 50s. Denise. Denise Richards. Yeah, she was with Charlie Sheen.
Yeah, Charlie Sheen's ex-wife, yeah. She started doing it, like, last year, I remember when they talked about it on Housewives. This is kind of wild, man. What is going on?
Money. 2 million on OnlyFans in her first seven days. Money. Wow.
That's crazy. She told People Magazine that one of the reasons she has pivoted to OnlyFans was because she was growing tired of working in Hollywood where other people controlled the narrative and the outcome of her career. That's, I mean, you know, I guess more power to you. I mean, if you're an actress and you've done a movie where you're naked or show your boobs in the movie, what difference does it make now?
Everybody's seen them. Yeah. So if you can make a million dollars a week? Yeah, no, that's why I don't necessarily disagree with it.
Yeah, I don't disagree with it. It's a lot of scratch. Oh, it's a lot of money. Okay.
" The only way this is going to work is if you meet me in my room. Right. We need to go over the script, and by script I mean my penis. Oh, allegedly, my alleged penis.
My alleged penis. Yeah. Dead Inside Me. Dead Inside Me.
That's also, that is Phil's OnlyFans. That's Phil's OnlyFans. That's his new OnlyFans that he's gonna start behind the scenes of the new zombie movie, Dead Inside Me. Plays a zombie in love with another zombie.
Yeah. Where did you come up with that? It's amazing. Sometimes I get winners.
Oh my God. He microdoses in the mornings. He's a microdozer. So, Mikey, you should start an OnlyFans.
For what? You can flex and stuff. No, I'm good. Thanks.
Get Britney to smear you with cooking oil so you're all shiny? She doesn't like to share. I don't need another thing in my life. I'm good.
I'm at capacity. Well, you can shoot it here while you're working. Just work top with no shirt upstairs. I'm at capacity.
I'm at capacity. We're not multitasking. While you're editing and doing clips, you can be shirtless. I'm no longer multitasking than multitasking.
It's done. I'm done. You've maxed out. You're over the limit.
Yes. I have exceeded the time limit. Well, you know what would be a good way to make some money? Tell me.
Apple is settling a lawsuit for $250 million. Wow. Tuesday, Apple agreed to pay $250 million to settle a class-action lawsuit that accused the company of misleading customers about the AI features that would be available on the iPhone. Oh, they tricked us.
It's the last year when they came out with the iPhone. Everybody has an iPhone, though, so is everybody getting a check? No, only if you have a certain phone and bought it during a certain time. Oh.
So, let's read on. Yeah, let's read on. I'd like my $250 million. That's $250 million.
S. between June 10, 2024 and March 29, 2025, shakes out to about 37 million eligible people or phones. If you bought one of them, you'll receive a letter or an email telling you how to file a claim. Expect $25 to $95 per phone.
I mean, I was about to look to see what phone this is, but now I just don't have the time, I'm not looking at it. For 25 bucks? For 25 dollars, why am I even going to look? That's fucking stupid.
Yeah, insane. Or possibly less, depending on... Could be less! in part on how many people file the claims.
I'm pretty confident that this phone actually falls in that classification. Of 15 or 16? Yeah. When did you get a new phone?
I want to say like a year. I thought you had like a 10 or something. No, no, no. That was the last one.
The last one was old. We re-upped, I want to say, like two or three years ago, so that's appropriate timeline. So, they said there was an AI-infused version of Siri that was promoted in a commercial starring actor, Bella Ramsey, but failed to deliver on them when the phone came out. Mmm.
Interesting. Though Apple has slowly rolled out some AI features, it's still struggling in the AI race, they're behind, they're the last guys in the line. " I think you were talking to Gronk or something. No, what do you call a group of bears and the group of bears is like, whoa, a group of pears is a basket.
Oh, so that's just Siri. Yeah. They're going to use Google Gemini to power its AI upgrades. Oh, that's interesting.
Isn't that Microsoft? Yes. Yeah, Google. Google Gemini.
That's Microsoft. Their Siri overhaul is delayed and they expect to have it finally launch at the end of this year. end of this year we're working on that we're working on this we're going as fast as we can okay so uh so so you're not gonna file is what you're saying no no no for 25 bucks no it could be less it said right or yeah i could get like five dollars yeah take me that long to figure out how to do it right the only ones that win are the attorneys right yeah that's how that works that's how that works the system you need the money to make the money and then you get to keep Take the money, you know? Until somebody else takes your money.
And then if you come across a bigger guy with more money, then you take that money. What is a group of bears called? It's called a sleuth. A sleuth?
Yes. A sleuth. Mm-hmm. Like a detective?
Correct. Yes. Hmm. Yeah.
A group of sloths are called a cuddle. That I knew. Well, you know I like sloths. Well, there's a couple available still because the sloth world is closed and they've killed 52 of them.
Oh, so sad. Yeah, they're dying off. Ugh. Do not say that to my wife.
We will have a sloth by the end of this week. Apparently, this guy was not, allegedly not a night person. Oh, it just popped in my ear. They did an autopsy on the last one that died, and basically he was being fed the wrong food, and he had that cold thing.
He did have the virus. No, no, no virus. Oh. He was, whatever, the cold stun that they called it, he had that, and he was not being fed proper sloth food, so the guy knew nothing.
Oh, that's amazing. That's amazing. Right. Here, have a hamburger.
You'll be fine. Just give him this cheeseburger and we'll see how this goes. Who knew lactose intolerant was a sloth thing? Yeah.
Okay. So there isn't any more in the guarded condition at the moment, so... So hopefully... Maybe the last 11 will make it.
Hopefully they'll survive. Hopefully. Greg's on his phone. You want to tell them about the new shirt we're coming out with?
The new shirt? The sloth shirt? No. I don't know if I want to come out with a sloth shirt.
Oh, that'd be awesome. That would be awesome. I designed the thing this morning. It's great.
All right. Apple is plugging a security hole. Uh-oh. Another Apple story.
More Apple. More holes being plugged. More Apple. Well, you know, once you go down that wormhole, you end up with more stuff.
Didn't they fire Tim Cook recently? Or didn't he retire? He retired. Yeah.
That's a nice way of saying you can go. A nice way of saying we pushed him out. Yeah. 250 million, you're out of here.
Okay. Anybody want to guess what security hole they closed? Greg? It's very well known.
The movie Dead Inside Me? No. No, they didn't close that hole. That hole's still wide open.
It's still wide open. Greg, what do you have? I have no idea. You have no idea?
I'm going to guess and say... I, too, have no idea. They plugged a hole that enables FBI to access deleted signal messages on your iPhone. Oh, so the FBI could do this in the past, but now they can't?
Now they can't with the new security upgrade that's coming, I believe it's next week. Now they have to store them before they're deleted, and it's very easy. They just push the button. You can push the button.
Right. Well, Signal apparently is some type of texting service type thing, I think, or something? Yeah. That's what the government uses and stuff.
Okay. Even if you had deleted the app off your phone, they could still get the messages off your phone. That's beautiful. The FBI could.
Wow. 2, a seemingly minor security update for iPhone that turns out to patch a serious security vulnerability that allows the FBI to read sensitive messages from the Signal Message app. app even after the app has been deleted why is it that it's stating just the fbi have the right exactly like why is it so specific why is it not like security breach people can see this no no no no one can see this but the fbi we're specifically blocking the fbi on your phone now yeah no uh you know here's why it's because the politicians all use this crap right that this is what i think at least and you know somebody who probably got caught with a hand in the cookie jar and like hey we got to shut this down right we can't let this happen anymore yeah right delete the app off That doesn't help. Yeah, it's still there.
It's still there. The cookie jar, what's that a metaphor for? You know. Yeah, okay.
Zombie porn. Zombie porn. Somebody was sending Phil's zombie porn back and forth from the government. Yeah.
And busted. No, it's like, hey, we're gonna bomb Iran and they send this text, you know what I mean? Like, that's what happens. And then it's, and he's sending you a picture of him doing, you know, coke off a hooker's butt or something.
Right, right. Oh, sending pictures back and forth? And it's pretty much consecutive text. It's like, bombing Iran, hooker.
All decided at the same moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. That's exactly it.
I love it. That was, I mean, bombing Iran, they sent a meme of him snorting coke. Bombing Iran. Iran is the name of the hooker.
Exactly. That's exactly what's going on. Exactly what happened, right. There was that one guy, he got drunk at the bar or whatever recently, and they started filming him when he started giving out all the secrets.
Oh, great. Know who killed John F. Kennedy? No, no.
He was talking about, you know, collateral damage in war and stuff. Well, you know, sometimes kids die or something. Whatever he said. I was like, whoa.
We don't admit that stuff. And you're out of here, pal. You gotta pack it in. Right.
And then Tim Cook got let go from Apple. Yeah. And then Tim Cook, exactly. Like, oh, guess what?
This is what happened. This is what happened. Yeah. 404 Media reported that the federal organization has extracted the messages from defendants' phones because the system still contains copies of the notifications that were generated when the texts were sent.
Boom. Boom. Apple says, "Not today. Not on my watch.
" Alleged politicians. Alleged politicians. Apple doesn't specifically call out the FBI incident. A description in the company's security note says: Pete Heggs has called me and he's got a problem with this.
" Shut it down. Shut it down. Shut it down. Okay.
We're going way too fast. That's okay. Alright, now a little international news. A man uses his penis to pull a police car down the street.
To pull what? Police car. A police car. Police car.
Okay. His penis. That's the word I heard. I didn't hear police car.
Oh, to raise awareness for prostate cancer. Oh, this is a thing. It's like a stunt thing. Oh, okay.
Shouldn't he be pulling it with his asshole? You know, I was thinking the same thing. It's not really connected. Yeah.
Hmm. Should just be anal beads attached to the police car. There you go. Stuck something in and whapped it around his prostate?
Yeah. Yeah. A wacky strong man believes that he's become the first person in the world to pull a car with his penis. Not true.
Been done many times before. While on fire. Okay, that might be a first time. The car, not his penis.
Oh, no. I really wanted the flaming penis. Well, I'm sure it felt like it after he got done. And he insists the fantastic phallic stunt was a bid to raise awareness for prostate cancer.
This is definitely an adult show, that's for sure. John, this is news. I know. This was on CNN.
Oh. John Stevenson, 50, hauled a two-ton French police car, they're smaller, it's a French police car. A little one. A hundred and thirty-one feet along a residential street using his manhood after being set ablaze.
I'm cringing right now. Now maybe he was on fire, it's hard to tell at this point. -John is French. -Ho, ho, ho.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, French. -Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. -I mean, you put two and two together, the French police car, it's in France, he's gotta be French. -He completed the Bazaar Challenge in Halifax, West Yorkshire, England.
-England? Oh, I mean, it's close, you know. -He's actually Scottish. -It's like an hour away by train, no big deal.
-Oh, because, you know, he's been there, Michael. -Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's a world traveler. -World traveler, very outdoorsy. -Yeah.
-Gonna climb a mountain. -Climb a mountain. -Mountain climbing. -Sleep on the side of a mountain in Peru.
On April 30th, his baffled residents watched on. Using a tow rope attached to his penis, he had a sock over it. There was a video. So he put a sock over it, tied the rope around the sock, so you couldn't actually see it except you could, you know, tell it was there.
Was the sock on fire? Have we determined if it's the sock or the car? I saw no fire in the photos and stuff. And you spent some time with it then?
Well, I had to look. You looked as close as possible. Stevenson was able to pull the Renault Silo RS along the road and despite admitting it hurt quite a bit, the dad said, everything was still intact. The martial arts expert and former bare-knuckle fighter had previously hit the headline for pulling a car using his testicles.
- This is ridiculous. - Man, he's just gotta get a job. - We need to move off of the story already. - Good Lord.
- Let me ask you, Greg, were you gonna fall in spirit when you were going to Peru? - No. He's trying to change the topic off of the testicles. Michael, I have a rope outside.
We're going to see if you can beat him. Oh, I could easily beat that man, but I'm not stupid. We're going to tie it to your testicles and penis at the same time. I figure that's not been done.
And then set something on fire. Set something on fire. Possibly your shoes. How about we do this?
How about we just go outside and you just set me on fire? I'll be okay. I don't need any type of protective. Just douse me and set me on fire.
Okay? That's my current tempo for today. Okay, when he did the testicles, his head was on fire. They're not specifying.
He's not moving on. This doesn't help at all. So the next story. His head was on fire.
All right, so perfect. He's a big men's health guy. That was to do health issues too. That was for testicular cancer.
I'm going to turn off this recording in a second. Shut this thing. There's a really good quote. Listen, I don't care.
I don't care. I'll do a voice. I'll do a voice. Okay, fine.
I've pulled a car with my tentacles before and I pulled a car on fire, so though, why not combine both? But this time, do it with my penis and the painter and decorate. I won't lie, it did hurt quite a bit, he said, but my mind was focused on being on fire and just plowed on and pulled it for around 40 minutes. So Greg, he's English, he's apparently not French.
Oh, well, he's English. Palmer's interpretation of it, he's English. I'm still going with he's French. Yeah.
I can't do French. Yeah, I know. You can't do French. I can't do it.
I've already done the other one. We get it. Okay. Next story.
Go ahead. All right. Hold on. I got to get through it.
Oh, man. I really wanted to see this. This was a long story for the day. Finale of that one.
It was going so well. I have a video and stuff too. Okay. We'll get to it.
All right. If I can stretch this another 10 minutes of stories and we're good. Okay. Police are now investigating after a bull burglarly.
Burglarly. Burglarly. Burglarly. Orange City, that's right up the street from here.
Yes, University, right over there off of 1792. m. What did they steal? Ooh, good question.
A French police car? No. No. Basketballs?
Okay, tell you what, there are three things. I will accept any one of the three as a winning answer, and then I will tell you what they were. Mm-hmm. Computers?
No. Michael? What did they steal, I would say? Mufflers.
$50 worth of lanyards from one building. Oh my God. Okay. Wait, what?
$50 worth of lanyards. I had the wrong button. The thing that goes around your neck? Yeah.
The school makes the kids wear those with ID cards on them, so if they steal them, they can resell them and make a profit. Ooh. Racket. What?
Black market lanyards. Okay. You can get them in China. Give me the other two things that are acceptable.
Then they entered a second classroom and stole miscellaneous food items, but they also stole 100 hot dogs and ice cream. Were the hot dogs in the classroom? Yes. Why were there food items in the classroom?
I don't understand. Well, it's a high school, so possibly it could have been a home ec type thing or something. Okay. They have a culinary class.
Alright, I'll buy that. But I know hot dogs and ice cream sound more like maybe the pregnancy class. Definitely odd. Value to approximately $60.
In addition, the suspects took an Allen wrench set from a desk in the hallway. How random? Yeah, just one Allen wrench. Wait, how did they determine that the Allen wrench set was missing?
It's good. You get to work, you open up the drawer. Yeah, but like somebody's going through taking inventory, like I've got like six Allen wrench sets. Mike Trudeau: They took the Allen wrench set.
Mike Trudeau: Like if I had one missing, there's no way I would know that. Mike Trudeau: What if you only had one though? Mike Trudeau: I highly doubt there's only one Allen wrench set at that school. Mike Trudeau: But they took it out of a desk in the hallway.
Mike Trudeau: Very specific. Mike Trudeau: So it was somebody's Allen wrench. Mike Trudeau: Somebody stole my Allen wrench. Mike Trudeau: I'm willing to bet that Sue lost that Allen wrench set like six months ago and she's blaming the perps for it.
Mike Trudeau: Could be. Mike Trudeau: You're not gonna fucking believe this. Mike Trudeau: It's a perfect opportunity to cover this. Mike Trudeau: Perfect opportunity to cover her ass.
They took the Allen Wrench. It's like when your house burns down and you go, they stole my Hope Diamond. Right, exactly. That Mona Lisa's gone.
That Mona Lisa's gone. My Fabergé egg is gone. Oh, it's so terrible. You're not going to believe this.
My Ferrari burned up in the garage. Yeah, because all of those things are about the equivalently price for a set of Allen Wrench. Of course. Yeah, that makes sense.
It's a government Allen Wrench, who knows what it costs. That tracks. Costed. Costed.
Stold. Stold's costed. Stold's the word in the article. Stold?
Stold. " Stolen? Well, you couldn't say any word right two episodes ago, so you'd be quiet. That was two episodes ago.
That was then, this is now. What have you done for me later? Your rage is going today. My rage is going.
I'm running on no sleep. While police look into the incident, anyone with information regarding the suspect's identities or the hot dogs or the ice cream, contact Oren City Police Department. Oh my, they didn't catch the bandits. No, no.
Two unidentified white males. Sadly for me, I'm here to unwind. That's the level of my life. He's still talking about him.
I thought we were talking about him. We thought we were talking about the hot dogs and the alarm rashes. Thank you so much. All right, we can talk about the guy with the flaming penis.
Thank you for letting me reflect. You're welcome. I wonder if it's longer now. It's gotta be.
It's broken is what it is. It's broken. Oh, you gotta have that rupture thing. Yeah.
Where the blood vessels rupture and then all of a sudden it goes... Oh my God, stop talking about it. All right, Michael, you got a video for us today. I do, I have a couple.
I don't know which direction to go here. We can go... Well, let's just pick one. Okay.
The shortest one. Well, you said we have time. I got a kid. I got a kid that...
There are two that are really funny. One's funny. I'm going to give you one that's funny, and then I'm going to send you the other one afterwards, too. I got a video of somebody selling hot dogs and Allen wrenches on Facebook.
And lanyards. Lanyards. I do. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
Like, there's surveillance at the school. I don't understand how they don't see who it is. Well, they have the video, they have them on video jumping over the fence and stuff, but... So no mufflers then?
They don't have mufflers? No mufflers. Nothing of value other than the Allen Ranchers. Uh, no, uh, no, uh, Auto Shop.
Mmm. Okay. Pencils. Oh, my brother just sent me something.
Yes, indeed I did. Oh, wait. Hold on, go ahead. Man, tin man, that's a dinosaur.
You know what else they laid? Eggs. Eggs. You know it didn't exist around the time of the dinosaurs?
The chicken. You know it did? X. Eggs existed way longer than chickens.
It's a dumb argument. Oh, is that what came first, the chicken or the egg? Yeah. I thought that was great.
It is funny. Okay. Well, you guys were not, that was not well received. That did not go the way that I thought it was.
Well, it's, you know, you had to think about it. Why does the guy look like he just got out of bed? Because he did. He legit just got out of bed.
I gotta tell you, I saw this guy, and I wish it wasn't a three-part reel, But it was absolutely amazing, he broke down why the genie in Aladdin was a complete asshole. Never gave a wish to Aladdin. He did, you saw, you've seen this? No, that was a guess.
Yeah, that's exactly what it was. That was exactly what it was, that was exactly what happened. The genie didn't give Aladdin a wish? No, he didn't give Aladdin a wish, and it's ridiculous.
And when he, when he, when he explained it to me, I was like, son of a bitch, he's right. This guy got screwed. Didn't he wish for stuff? Well, first of all, well, so the first, the first one was, uh, it was a trick.
He tricked the genie into getting him out of the Cape of Wonders, so that wasn't a wish. The second wish was he wished for him to be a prince, but he didn't become a prince, he was just acting like a prince, so the genie half-assed it, so that was the first one. The second one was when he was unconscious underwater, he just saved his life, he didn't get a wish, so he got robbed of that one too. Meanwhile, when Jafar takes over, he becomes this almighty sorcerer, all of these things happen, he becomes like the sultan and all this other crap, and I'm like, man, this guy does look like he just got out of bed, but he's making a lot of sense, it was the only thing I was thinking of, I'm like, you know, total disrespect, I don't like the genie anymore now, I'm not a fan of Aladdin.
Oh, Robin Williams, bro. So this is okay, but my international news story of the guy pulling the car with his penis is not acceptable, but this is... This is okay. Cartoons is fine.
Yes, that's correct. That's what he wants. That's correct. Because I'm not talking about another man's genitals.
I know that that's something that you like. It was news. The man's trying to promote knowledge for prostate cancer. Is there something involving a man's groin?
Let me see here. Because Michael loves these stories. I'm going to make this a high topic. So what you're saying is when he prepares these stories, you think he just Google searches penis and whatever first comes up?
That's what he's going to leave with? That's correct. That is correct. Got it.
Wait until you see the graphic for this show. That's going to be amazing. Can't wait. You're going to be pulling a car.
I see. Oh, that's not nice. I couldn't put us in Mickey and Disney outfits today because Chad GPT said that was crossed. Said no.
Yeah. And by the way, you got the story wrong. The story was about sex predators, not ice. I just, no, it was ice.
I saw the pictures. There was two different cruise ship things. There's two Disney, there's a lot of, there's a corruption in Disney? Well, apparently they're cracking down on Disney.
They're cracking down on Disney. I guess as they should if there's ice going on. Right, illegal people. The bigger issue is the child pornography.
I would agree, yes. Have you seen all the videos about the cruise ship thing? The death cruise ship. People are demanding that they just sink it, blow it up.
Oh my god, it's too late. I'm not going through this again. Blow up the boat. That's ridiculous.
Where's your humanitarianism? I did send you another video that I thought was wild. We're doing two videos? Yes.
We've already crossed the thing. No, no. How do you know we've crossed the thing? Cuz I'm looking at the timer.
You started the timer? Greg did. That's my job when I'm sitting in this chair. Oh, he knows.
He's done the show enough now he knows how to do it. Atta boy, Triple G. Start the timer. Is this shot with your metaglass?
No, so this is the kid that he was doing wheelies in the neighborhood. of him. Get your hands off of him. Guy took his phone.
The kid's bigger than the guy. Like, that's a problem. So that was not his child? No.
That was random child? Correct. I mean, first of all, the guy's already breaking laws. He's a full grown adult riding a bicycle It's unbelievable with both knee pads, elbow pads, I mean, like, what are we doing here, dude?
Yeah, being very safe. That's why, okay, so I was gonna ask you, first of all, like, is this guy completely out of line? Yeah, totally. Well, why can't the kid do wheelies on the street?
Right. And then other adults are around them, and they're recording this whole thing, like, no one's de-escalating this? Yeah, no one. Well, there's that one guy who helps the kid up off the ground and tries to get the kid off the other guy's back.
He's got off the man's back. I'm keeping the kid on the back, and I'm teeing off on the guy. Oh, I was just taking the phone. But he's got protective gear on.
He's got the blue helmet? He's got the helmet, and the knee pads, and the elbow pads. The blue helmet to match the blue shirt? Practically riot gear.
It's like you're going up against an officer, you know, just minus the baton. I'm gonna go after this kid in a wheelie. " And then you took his phone? And he stole my phone!
I mean, what are we doing to these kids? Are we, what, uh, we've lost our mind. This happened in Florida, by the way. Oh, of course.
Yeah. So the palm trees. Yeah. And, uh, from what I understand, from what I read, apparently, uh, the, the adult is, uh, going to be facing felony charges.
He should. Yeah. Yeah. He should.
Unbelievable, man. So is it one count for the knee pads, another count for the elbow pads? Um, I don't know. I think, uh, I'd have to look again, but I know that there was something, he threw a water bottle at this kid.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, so that's assault. Yeah, which is ridiculous. And then he stole his phone.
Over $500 is a felony. Yeah. Oh, that's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Felony theft. I mean, ridiculous. Totally wrong. They'll add something in there about assault on a child under the age of.
Yeah, you know, I know that everybody says something about the kids, like the kids, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Kids these days, blah, blah, blah, blah. He's just doing wheelies on his bike. Yeah, yeah.
I mean, the kid's outside. Let's embrace that. Oh, right, yeah. He could be doing wheelies on his video game.
Hey, let's build a ramp for this fucking kid. I mean, what are we doing? Oh, let's not get carried away. Why not?
Because then they might get hurt. He didn't have the knee pads and stuff on him. You know what? Listen, we're going, we're, you're aiming for scrapes and bruises.
You're not aiming for scars. That's, that's how you raise, that's how you raise a kid. You don't, you want them to be, you want, you want them to have some experiences. You want them to have, you know, a scraped knee.
You want them to have those types of interactions. You don't want them damaged, you know, mentally or physically, that's what this is about. So I have a problem with a parent, like, I question that generation, whatever generation that guy comes from is where I'm like, this is where we went wrong, clearly, in a blue helmet. The fact that they sell a blue helmet isn't...
Well, his whole outfit was color coded, I mean, everything was blue. I'm suing the company. Like he thinks he's the HOA police or something. Yeah, it's wild.
All right, when you do that next to your microphone, it's very... I'm done. It's lit. We're good.
Yeah, Greg. Ridiculous. By the way, we're 32 minutes in. We have seven minutes to conclude this show.
Yeah, well, guess I got news for you, buddy. We're in the bathroom. We're in the bathroom. All three of us together.
The shop opens in seven minutes. We're the only three people here. I have an unboxing. We're taking a poop break.
Yeah, well, you know, the shop funds things. Well, guess what? You know what? When you're importing, they'll wait for you.
I don't know what to tell you. I was sent a package. You were sent a package. From 14 Knives.
Oh, how nice. Dude. I'm glad that you're struggling to open it. Oh, look, Michael, I got a knife, too.
You're an asshole. Why is he an asshole? Because I got a knife from PCA. I'm aware.
From 13 Knives. Yeah. And what he's doing right now is he ordered a knife on Amazon because he doesn't have it. I did not.
They sent it to me. No, they did not send him anything. Oh, this is nice. Yeah.
Oh my god, I'm not gonna give you the camera. I got it, I have a knife. You want a knife? You can open it with a knife.
Yeah. It's all taped and ramped up. Yeah, it looks great. Oh look, from 14 Cigars.
It's got a leather case. It fits on your belt. And look at this. This is nice.
Oh, can you see it? It's just... Oh. Mine's bigger.
Oh, yours is... No, that's stupid looking. Mine's bigger than yours. That's not even close.
How is that stupid? That's not even cool. And mine has a holder, too. That's lame.
With a belt clip. That's lame. You're a horrible person. I hope you rot in hell.
Wow. Wow. Very heavy. Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell.
What are you doing, Greg, with your phone? Well, I was helping Palmer, my friend, because... Well, Robert's my friend. Because he's my friend.
Robert and I... Oh, look, it's nice. He's got a little belt clip and everything. I got news for you.
That's nice. Thank you, 14 Knives. Robert and I, from 13 Knives, we're going to build our own podcast. You're out.
You're done. You don't know how to work the gear. I do. No, you don't.
I'll figure it out. So, Robert, you're going to have to learn how to edit podcasts. You're going to have to learn how to hook up equipment. I'll teach you.
Don't worry about it. Robert's apparently going to have to open the store because we're opening in five minutes. Don't worry about it. All right, on to Cigar News.
I got news for you, Craig. We're going to be about 15 minutes late for opening the store. There'll be nobody up there. Yeah, it's fine.
Trade court rules Trump's 10% tariffs are illegal. Glad you're getting to this. Yeah, this is big. It was yesterday.
Yeah, this is huge. I'm glad that you covered it. Oh, the current 10% tariffs that the Trump administration introduced in February have been ruled illegal. Illegal.
In a two-to-one ruling, so what, there's only three guys? Yep, just the three. Court of International Trade ruled that Section 122 tariffs that are currently in place are illegal. These tariffs were introduced shortly after the Supreme Court ruled that Donald Trump lacked the, why do they call him Donald for?
That's his name. Well, I know, but that's not normally how they refer to the president. Oh, I see. So it's like a sideways insult is what you're saying.
I get it. Yeah. Rather than going, President Trump. President Trump.
Yeah. Right. Yeah, that's nice. Lack the authority to introduce his sweeping April 2025 terror scheme, which had also been struck down by multiple lower courts.
Mmm. So this is going to add to the funds now? Yes. What was the original number?
300 and some odd billion? Put that knife down. Put it down. I didn't make the audio anything I want.
That's funny. That's funny. That's funny. - Knives are for closers who put that knife down.
- Go ahead. - Okay, so what happens, so here's, so Greg, I got a question for you 'cause this is kind of interesting. Because we're about to receive some serious product here, we got some stuff coming in here. - Yeah.
- And we were anticipating that 10% tariff, right? - Yes. - Do you think we're still gonna have to pay that 10% tariff? - So, it's possible that we don't, for one.
For two, what most likely will happen, The problem is it could hang up the transport, right, because the people don't know what to put on the paperwork when it comes to the importation. So it may take a little bit more time for us to receive our product. Oh, great. Yeah.
What do we charge? I don't know. What do we charge? Well, this has happened before because the tariffs have changed so sporadically.
18, 15, 10, right, you know, they don't know what to do. Pick the lowest one. But again, if this is going to wind up unfolding the same way that the prior ones did, there's now an additional 10% that's going to be added to that massive fund for these big corporations to wind up getting a check back. Alleged check, you're not getting that check back.
They have set up that website where you can get your... Yeah, no, that's, well, it's a process, right? Oh, I'm sure it is. It takes probably months before you actually get a check.
I'm sure there's probably paperwork you have to supply that you probably can't get. It does exist, but the problem is it's the importers that are going to be filing the paperwork and then it's going to be on them whether or not they redistribute those funds to the companies that actually paid it and then again, I mean I said this before, realistically, it's the people that paid it and those funds are not going back to the people, it's not, it's not. I heard a rumor, I don't know how I'm supposed to talk about this, but I'm going to say it anyways, I heard a rumor that somebody went into a cigar shop in California and enforced the UTL rule against a retailer and said anything that's not in the registry has to be taken down or there's going to be fines and made threats. Just some random person went in?
No, no, this is like a person that works for California. Allegedly, this is what I heard. The person who works for the, whatever it is. So there's no pathway to correct any of this.
However, somebody just went in and enforced it. That's not good. He didn't have to flash a badge or something. He obviously had a badge, Palmer.
Well, we don't know that. You didn't say that for the story. " He could have. " What's better is if it's an ATF agent dressed as Woody.
Like, he's got the badge and the hat. And the guy just took the cigars. Yeah. Do you know how you counter that?
You come in Buzz Lightyear, baby. There you go. I like that. Hold on, I have a Buzz Lightyear suit in the back.
There you go. Well, if that is true, you are correct, that's a tremendous problem. Yeah. The regulation in general is just a big issue at this point, right?
You know, even if we're deregulating, we can't even figure that out. Like, what are we doing? It just makes no sense to me. S.
Trade Act of 1974, which allows the president to enact tariffs without congressional approval under certain conditions, It's a good news. That's a good news. It's a good news. Okay.
Well, that's what you hope for. Yeah. That's what you hope for. Yeah.
That's what you hope for. So, okay. Well, hey, that's a good news. Maybe that's a good news.
Yeah. Maybe that's a good news. Maybe that's a good news. Maybe that's a good news.
Maybe that's a good news. Maybe that's a good news. Maybe that's a good news. Maybe that's a good news.
Maybe that's a good news. Maybe that's a good news. Maybe that's a good news. Maybe that's a good news.
Maybe that's a good news. Maybe that's a good news. Yeah. Okay.
Well, hey, that's, uh, maybe that's good news. Who knows? Sometimes it may be good. The Trump administration's justification that the tariffs were necessary to deal with a trade imbalance did not meet the conditions needed for the emergency action.
Right. Well, they're arguing the fact that, you know, the budget crisis is not something that you can deem. Right. That's not one of the things on the list, Donald.
Let me see. Budget crisis, budget crisis, budget crisis. No, no, no, no, no budget crisis. I don't see it here, Donald.
Is it on your copy? No, it's President Trump, you be respectful. They're calling him Donald. I don't care.
I'm being the bad guys. Oh. Or the good guys, whichever way it works, I don't know. People that are making fun of them.
You're not bad or good, you're just being disrespectful. That's the difference. So this guy in England, Greg, pulled a car away from his penis, and one of the heads was on fire. I'm not sure which one.
What's he doing now? I'm taking a photo of the mess of his feet. It was beautiful. I can add that to the footage, thank you.
There you go. Oregon Supreme Court upholds Washington County's Flavored Tobacco Ban. Oh boy. The Oregon Supreme Court was held, upheld Washington County's 2021, oh it's been for four years, five years, ban on flavored tobacco more than...
Act natural. More than five years ago, the Washington County Board of Commissioners passed a law that banned the sale of flavored tobacco and vaping products in the county, which is located just northwest of downtown Portland. So they backed it, they said it's okay. They backed it up, said it's okay.
Then came a legal challenge Schwartz v. Washington County. Yeah. The lawsuit was centered around whether SB 587, a state law that created a tobacco licensing scheme, preempted WCO 878, the county's law banning the sale of flavored tobacco products.
In September, Judge Andrew Irwin found that it was determined that SB 587 did not allow for local governments to outright ban the sale of products. OK. Rather, it created requirements for licensing for the sale of those products. So, I'm confused.
So, does this mean that it's- I read it. I'm confused. Yeah. So, is the law in effect and it's backed up so now you can't- flavored cigars still bad in whatever state you just said?
Oregon or whatever? All right. The core of the argument is whether by creating the statewide licensing scheme, the Oregon legislation are intended to grant a license to retailers who sell all forms of tobacco and nicotine products. " Got it.
So the first one supersedes the second one. Okay, so, flavored okay? Yeah, as far as I can tell. Okay, so we have no idea.
Greg, did you get anything from that? No, I've been watching Cartoon Network on my phone for the past five minutes. Okay, perfect. Perfect.
He's watching the cameras upstairs. He wants somebody to beat the door. He's freaking out. Damn, the store opened five minutes ago.
Is the store open? Oh, God. I really need my cigars. I really need my cigars.
I'm gonna go next door and get a vape. Yeah. This is where I start sucking on pouches. Okay.
Alright, time for the industry's favorite game, brother against brother, to see who mom likes best. What's the score? Good job, Triple G. February 10th, 2017, Brooks Whittington Cigars, Lost and Found Review, the Diet Pepper Cream Soda Cigar.
okay diet pepper did i say dr diet pepper diet pepper brooks cream soda i'm gonna say 90 uh because i know that's gonna throw you through your roof because you have no idea anything in that goes on in the cigar industry and so i figured i'd give it a high number just to kind of fuck with you i'm gonna go 82. diet pepper cream soda from they're not saying they're not saying what factory they're not saying the wrapper the binder the filler but they are saying it is a It's a 5x52 Bellicoso. Mm-hmm. It's a $10 cigar, release date 2016.
They smoked three. 89. Sticking with 82. Excellent.
Clue number one. Excellent construction across the board. Draw, burn, and smoke production were all consistently strong. Making for a smooth and effortless smoking experience.
Wow. It's a great cigar. We should carry these. 90.
88. Clue number two. Clue number two: the flavor profile evolves nicely after the opening transition into a balanced mix of creamy almonds, cocoa, coffee, a unique popcorn note with a pleasant honey sweetness on the retrohale adding depth. 90.
88. Third clue: the cigar starts off with a harsh sourness and dominant earth leather that nearly overwhelms the profile early on, which may turn off some smokers before it settles down. - Mmm, 89. - Sticking with 88.
Final thought, after a bit of rough start on all three samples to varying degrees, the profile of the Diet Pepper Cream Soda becomes nicely complex, albeit obviously well-aged and somewhat lacking in distinctness. However, the best part about cigar is the construction, which is quite literally one of the best I have seen in at least a year, with the burn on each sample never giving me an issue and an excellent draw after each Dickman cut. In the end, while the sourness in the beginning was definitely an issue and flavors became a bit muddled at times, the Diet Pepper Cream Soda is easy to smoke, easy to enjoy, with a profile that has easily kept me interested. And sometimes that is more than enough.
Eighty-nine. Ninety. Eighty-nine, Michael said eighty-nine, you said ninety? Yes.
You went the right way! Who? The score is eighty-eight. Eighty-eight.
I win! I win again! Rating supreme! I have another one.
I don't know, I just did the one. There's a customer at the door. Okay, what's his name? Hard to tell.
Alright. Do you want to go get them real quick? Would that make you feel better? No, I mean...
Well, we can end the show now. No, go ahead, do the last one. Want to do another one? Yeah.
Alright, no, let's close. You're right, let's close this out. Let's close this out. Let's close this out.
Go ahead. Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no, no. This is going to be awesome.
Here's what we're going to do. Tell me. I'm going to tell you right now. Who is it?
Hang on. You've gotten close to the screen. I know. I'm sorry.
I'll back up. Yeah, back up. Now your head's off. Okay.
You guys can hear this, right? Yeah. I'll get a Bluetooth. What's going on here?
I don't know what's going on. Come on. I'm usually the impromptu here. Someone's taking my position.
Hey, top of the morning to you. Top of the morning to you as well. How are you, sir? I'm fuckin' peachy.
What are you doing? I'm standing in front of your door. Art? What?
Are you at the shop? Yeah. Do you need cigars? No, I come down here to harass you.
Yeah, I need cigars. Well, why didn't they let you in? Is the door locked? I didn't hear you.
What? Is the door locked? He's deaf. Yes, it is.
And no lights are on. Oh, this is not good. No lights are on. Well, yeah.
Yeah, it is a little slim, though. And, and, and, and, uh, uh, since, he's usually here on Fridays. Yes. Who?
Suggs? I don't know who he said. Oh. Are you fine?
I will, I will be up momentarily to open the door. All right. Well, what do you mean up? Are you down below?
Oh my God! And you're another one that's hiding from me! You know you're going to get extra shit from me now! Of course!
I'll be here! Alright, see you shortly! Bye! Get out, Bob!
Get out, Bob! Get out, Bob! Get the fuck out, Bob! Who's at the door wanting a cigar?
Alright, well, hey, thank you very much everybody! Like and subscribe! We're reviewing and listening! com for all your swag!
com, a Cigar Housers podcast! Appreciate you guys, and bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
You'll get to show you.
Show Notes
Another Hollywood Actress goes to only fans, Apple settles for 250 million dollars, The FBI can’t see me now! And In Europe it’s a weird way to tow a police car? Weiners we got the whiners! Then in cigars 10% is not legal! And someone else bans flavored cigars! Then a brother again brother what’s the score