ACHP Episode 529 Boy Am I Thirsty
Episode Summary
Mike Palmer is back from vacation and reunited with Palmer and engineer Phil (mask and all) for Episode 529 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast. The first half is the show's usual news roundup: the Milwaukee Bucks co-owner Wes Edens blackmail case involving deepfaked video and phones hidden in sanitary pads, an 18-year-old French student facing mischief and public nuisance charges in Singapore for licking a straw at an iJooz orange juice vending machine, a Florida woman who allegedly stole a Red Bull delivery truck in Tampa and stopped at a convenience store mid-chase because she got thirsty, an update on the Trump Mobile T1 phone that still hasn't shipped despite $100 deposits, and a grim discussion of a fatal runway incident in Denver.
The cigar news segment leads with HVC Cigars, where founder Reinier Lorenzo is reviving La Decoración, a defunct 19th-century Cuban brand, as a regular production Nicaraguan line made with an Ecuadorian 2000 wrapper over Estelí and Jalapa tobaccos in four soft-pressed vitolas, plus a limited 300-piece, four-cigar sampler at $54 with box art paying tribute to the Catedral Metropolitana de La Habana. The guys debate whether reviving old Cuban marcas is heritage homage, old FDA grandfathering strategy, or just an easier way to land a name — and note that there's very little genuinely "new" left in the cigar business.
Also covered: Gurkha's Ghost Zombie Minis, a 4 x 34 petite corona in five-count tins at $22, using a Brazilian Mata Fina wrapper with a Dominican Criollo 98 binder and Dominican/Nicaraguan filler, produced at Tabacalera El Puente, alongside Gurkha's Nicaraguan Cash Collection and Tres Decadentes timelines out of the 2026 PCA trade show. Drunk Chicken Cigars, founded by Desiree, is shipping two 300-box limited editions at $13 each: the Mother Clucker Maduro (5.5 x 50 Robusto Extra, Mexican San Andrés wrapper) and Living the Dream Connecticut — which sparks a rant about brands disclosing only vague country-of-origin info instead of seed varietals.
The episode closes with "What's the Score?", scoring Patrick Lagreid's 2023 halfwheel review of the Gurkha Ghost Connecticut Asura (6 x 54 Toro Extra, Ecuadorian Connecticut wrapper, Mexican binder, Dominican/Nicaraguan/USA filler, made at PDR Cigars). Tasting notes include creaminess, graham cracker, light coffee, nuttiness, late white pepper and a donut-like sweetness, with wrapper fragility causing band-removal damage on all three samples. The final score: 87.
In This Episode
- 01Masks, Mailbag and Show ChemistryMike returns from vacation to listener comments about Triple G and Palmer hosting solo, plus the origin story of Phil's ongoing mask punishment.
- 02Billionaire Blackmail CaseBucks co-owner Wes Edens turns to the FBI after a LinkedIn DM encounter leads to an alleged $3 billion blackmail attempt using deepfaked video.
- 03Don't Lick the StrawA French teen studying in Singapore faces mischief and public nuisance charges for licking and replacing a straw at an iJooz juice vending machine.
- 04Red Bull Truck Heist in TampaA Florida woman allegedly steals a Red Bull delivery truck and gets caught after stopping at a convenience store mid-chase for a drink.
- 05Trump Mobile T1 UpdateThe $499 gold T1 phone still hasn't shipped after $100 deposits, and the website now shows a different device entirely.
- 06HVC Revives La DecoraciónReinier Lorenzo brings back a defunct 19th-century Cuban marca as a Nicaraguan regular production line with an Ecuadorian 2000 wrapper and a limited 300-piece sampler.
- 07Gurkha Ghost Zombie MinisGurkha ships a 4 x 34 petite corona in five-count tins at $22, plus updates on the Nicaraguan Cash Collection and Tres Decadentes.
- 08Drunk Chicken Limited EditionsMother Clucker Maduro and Living the Dream Connecticut ship at $13 each, prompting a rant about vague tobacco disclosure in press releases.
- 09What's the Score? Gurkha Ghost Connecticut AsuraThe crew guesses the halfwheel review score for this mild, creamy Ecuadorian Connecticut Toro Extra — final answer: 87.
Brands & Cigars Discussed
Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.
Transcript
Welcome to a Cigar Hustler Podcast Episode 529. I'm Mike Palmer, your host. In engineering today we have Phil. I like to imagine what it sounds like when Palmer poops McGuffey.
Nice. Nice. Can't wait to get rid of this mask. What's up, Peach?
Atta boy, Peach. You're not getting rid of that mask for another 30 days. You just got it. Yeah.
I'm gonna have to make some real alterations on this. I tried. This is my co-host back from his vacation. Mikey, I smell like coconuts.
Step on Kevin. I smell like coconuts. It's suntanian oil. Like coconuts or peanut butter?
Coconuts. Peanut butter was what he said Preston smelled like when he was leaning over his shoulder. Oh, two totally different things. Two different things.
You were sniffing him? He was, not me. You didn't see the picture I sent you? I saw the picture.
It was just weird. I know, it was weird. No, I mean like the peanut butter comment. Oh, I don't know why he smelled like peanut butter.
It's what he told him. On today's show, Chinese takeout can get expensive. Red Bull can give you stripes. Trump Mobile update.
Remember when we did the story on Trump Mobile? Yeah. We have an update. Okay.
Don't lick the straw. And then in cigars, a defunct Cuban brand comes back. - Okay. - You all right over there?
- Yeah. - All right. Uh, ghosts are back, they're just smaller, drunk chicken is shipping, the headphone just went dead. - Yep, they sure did.
- Did you charge them before you took them out of the box? - For God's sakes, they charge in the box. It's a charging box. - The transmitter just died.
- Did the transmitter die? Look at it, it's got lights on it? - Yep, nope, it's dead. - Oh, well wait, well two are dead and one's not.
- You don't know how to charge. - I'm sorry, is there a certain way to plug them in? Because one of them is charged and two aren't. They're all in the same box.
Apparently there is. All right. D-E-D. " I'm not mad at you.
I didn't say you were. It's okay. This is just the process. Part of the process.
I ain't worried about it. Uh, but before we get started... Oh, you don't still want to wear them? Just get the feel of it?
No, if it doesn't work, I'm not wearing them. What am I... How do we get some of the CHPod swag, Mikey? Like and subscribe wherever you're viewing or watching this show.
Oh, that's what I forgot yesterday. The like and subscribe. I said it. com for all of your chpod swag.
We've got to get going on the cups, man. What are we doing? We're all getting electrocuted one day. We're back at our free shipping.
Buy one, get the second one, 40% off, and free shipping over $100 or more is now back on. You watched that part of it. Yeah, I saw that part. And yes, I got a couple comments from yesterday's show.
I'm sure it's about the free shipping. Without me. There was no free shipping yesterday. It depends if you bought something.
Sales were down, down, down, down. Nobody bought anything. Only a couple comments. Apparently, Triple G is not as big of a track sequence as your boy.
That was some of the comments yesterday. We missed Triple G, we'd like more Triple G. They were both from your mother, but that's okay. They were both what?
From your mother. Ruckus Unchained is my mother. That's her YouTube handle. T-Money says the movie poster was, of course, from me.
What was the movie poster? From Phil's new movie. The love story is dead inside of me. Dead inside of me.
We didn't have a video, so we put up the movie poster. Wow, I thought T-Money was supposed to be on my side. He was, he made your movie poster. T-Money's on my side.
T-Money's on T-Money's side. CW6383 says, "Why does it seem homier with boots, Triple G and Palmer? " I'm going to get your hat up, by the way, in the upcoming days. I'll message you when it's ready, the black war bear hat.
Did we send him the other one? No, it's right over there. He's local. Oh, okay.
Ish. Local-ish? Yeah. And I already responded to that, look, you know, here's the reality, that when you put the three of them in, it's obviously lacking structure, then nobody even bothers listening to each other, they just talk at each other for 45 minutes to an hour.
So, that's why it feels more homier. - No shot collar. - You know, and, yeah, and... - Or beating, or beating.
- No beatings. He did mention several times yesterday, at least I'm not getting in trouble. You know, it's really hard to talk to Greg, you can't bounce a lot of things off of him. No, yeah.
He doesn't really engage. He doesn't sometimes. Yeah, it's hard. Well, you know, the other part, here's one of the weird, strange thing I'm going to tell you, is that Palmer is more comfortable when I'm in the room, for whatever reason.
He's more engaging, he has more, like, he has better conversation. I only have to do this when you're here. Yeah. When you're not here, I have to do this and that.
Yeah. And I had problems doing both of them and keeping it running. And he was worried about legalities, too. Like, at least when you're here, Mikey, you could go, hey, cut that out.
Can't say that. Yeah. Hey, look, dude, you're a stud. You can handle these things.
I know that you can. No, I don't like to. Not that I couldn't, I don't like to. So then, best not perform at our highest performance?
No. I mean, when I had the other shows, I did one show completely by myself, and I kept the other one running before. Oh, did you, I just found out today, both of the guys from my other show They are doing their own shows now. Oh, they are?
I just saw Brandon's doing one. I saw it on LinkedIn for, what is that job he does for a living? Surveying? Surveying, yeah.
It's a high-tech surveying podcast. They're on episode 279. So he must have been doing it for a while. Well, he must have joined in later?
He might have, or it might have been going on longer than I thought it was. I don't know. Like I said, I just found out 20 minutes ago. And Chet's wanting to start one.
So with his fiancée. Well, it's kind of neat. Yeah, good for them. Yeah.
See, look, you inspire others. Chet? Like C-H-E-T? Yeah.
Yeah, your bestie. He wants to do another podcast? Yeah, with his fiancée. He's still fiancée, right?
They didn't get married yet? Yeah, or, yeah. Yeah. Yep.
That's great. Something about travel or something. He sort of went over with me, roughly. Are you producing these?
No, no, no, no. I'm not producing either one. Chet wants to buy some of our old gear, though. Oh, okay.
There you go. At My T#4, the irony in the fact that you wanted to do an egg skit based around Alzheimer's and forgot. Yeah. What's that about?
We covered a story yesterday about how eggs are good for Alzheimer's, and I meant to buy eggs, hard-boiled eggs, and I was going to just start pounding them as I was reading the story, eating them, and then when they cut to boot, he would be eating them. And you just didn't. Cut to Greg. Well, I forgot twice.
You forgot. I forgot twice. A lot of money in that, just by the way. Well, I was only going to buy like six or eight, they have those hard-boiled packs at Publix.
Oh. The dimensions setting in. What? The dimensions setting in.
Exactly. Yeah, exactly. I've always been a fan, I'm getting in earlier than mom and dad did. Mmm.
Okay, if you want to hear your comment read aloud on the show, the possibility that only happens if you comment on this show below. So, comment on the show and we may read your comment aloud on the next episode. What are we doing for the Patreon? What are we doing for the Patreon?
I don't know. What are we doing? We are doing the Undercrown Coronaviva El Tigre. El Tigre.
Let me weigh it real quick in the cello and then I'll take it out for a shot. I sent you Sanz video during your other show. 9 grams. You did?
Yeah. Facebook Messenger. The new... Can you see that?
Yep. The new Sanz Estate Cigar. Okay. This is interesting.
No, it's still called Drew Estate. We went over that last week or something. He's been commenting on some of our shorts. Oh, has he?
Yeah. Oh. I saw that John Carney commented on one, and Jay Davis commented on one. Yeah.
Oh, they just watched the shorts. Well, you know, we're the number one podcast with, what do you say, with industry people or whatever? With industry, yeah. Now we're number one podcast for shorts.
But we're coming under fire, we have more restrictions, we're not permitted to speak about specific people anymore. Who? I'm not gonna say his name. Just the one?
Yeah. Oh. Well, there's two. Are they giving us money?
Cause you blurted out one guy for one thing that he said the last episode. It's apparently the only ones. Oh. Like yesterday's show?
Yeah, you blurted out, you blurted out "Dumb Dumb" for talking about somebody. Oh, well, he was already on a list. Yeah. And the other one, I don't know what his deal is.
Are we not supposed to talk about those people? You know, I'm not here for those meetings. Yeah. You guys got to tell me stuff.
That's true. We don't allow them to come to the production meetings. Yeah, you guys got to tell me about these before I just, you know, let it out. Just don't say anybody's name.
That's hard. Come up with code words. Oh, okay. But not like, don't like just change the first letter of their name.
That's not a code word. Rhymes with... Rhymes with mooper. Manziano.
Oh. So, anyways. Just put an M in front of everybody. 20% different.
So, we're going to be reviewing this on our Patreon today, and you obviously had something else that you want to talk about on the Patreon? Yes, yes, yes. com, a Cigar Hustlers podcast, and if you pay for the entire year up front, you're going to get 10% off. I have the shirt, by the way, Apex listener, I'll bring it tomorrow so we can show it off.
All right, and then we have to take the photo, and then everything else we got already for him. Okay, so perfect. Photo of what? Just me and Mikey for the guys.
You guys are dicks. If you could take the photo for us, that'd be great. You know, somebody asked on one of the messages, how did the masks start to happen for Phil? And honestly, I don't know how the masks started to happen.
You know, I think that honestly, what probably happened was we looked at each other and figured how much shit is he willing to take to stay on this podcast? And the answer is a lot. And we've pushed the bar. So that's that's how the masks happen.
And now the masks are a thing and they're not going away. And now Princess Peach, even though he's not properly wearing it, he better not put it on. I'm not on the camera, man. He's on camera, man.
He brings it down when he's on camera. Yeah, this is difficult for me, especially, and plus these are like furry. Yeah. They're like felt or whatever.
Felt. Yeah, it doesn't work well when it's, you know, it's like 90 degrees down here, everybody. No, it's not. He makes us sweat out and he beats us.
It's cold in here today. I can't work in these kind of conditions. No, it's itchy. It's like super itchy when I put it down by my eyes.
He'd give you a rash. I'd love to give him a rash just where he wears the mask. It would not be okay. Let's get him a lotion to apply.
To apply. It must put on the lotion or it gets the hose. Yeah. Well, there's a lot of those, buddy.
We got a hole. I wish you guys would... The last mask was good. You guys hit it.
You guys are good on that one. With the feathers? Yeah, I was fine with the feathers, you know, the mask. But it was the eye holes.
I didn't have to mess with anything with the mouth or anything, you know? Yeah. Well, I tried to go the same route with these. No, you pick kid ones.
If they were adult sizes, it would be okay, probably. We can get longer elastic for the others. It's not the elastic for the others. It's not the elastic.
Oh, it's the actual size? Yeah. Paul, why don't you pull one of these masks on? I did.
I've had that one on. We should all wear one in one episode. I put it on. That's why I cut it for you.
Whichever ones we don't want him to wear, we'll wear one episode. I have like the middle size head out of all of us. Adult size Mario masks. Well, don't buy more.
We have plenty up there. Or you take those home to your children. Yeah, let the kids wear them. Let the kids wear them.
Oh, yeah, they didn't get good reviews. Oh, no, ours did get good reviews. 6. Horrible for eye-cutting.
Alright, I'm moving on with your mass shopping. Okay. The billionaire owner of the Milwaukee Bucks was allegedly blackmailed by a Chinese-born divorcee after he hooked up with her and she demanded half of his fortune and hid compromising material in a box of sanitary pads, according to federal prosecutors. No, I heard about this.
This is, yeah. So, he got divorced, met this lady online, or no, she direct messaged his LinkedIn, he hooked up with her, she videotaped it, hit a phone in the maxi pads, and then demanded half his money. Half of all of it? Yeah.
So, it's like 3 billion or something is the half. Release the video. That's basically what he did. Yeah.
He's divorced. What does he get? Yeah. Edens, 64, is also the co-founder of the Wall Street investment firm Fortress Investment Group and owner of the Aston Villa soccer team, had sex with Cheng Li Sophia Lau, 46, after she slid into his LinkedIn DMs in 2022.
According to federal prosecutors and as the Wall Street Journal reported, after Edens, who was newly divorced, had a night of passion at Lau's Manhattan apartment, she sent him a desperate love letter and they became progressively more deranged when he did not respond prosecutors said amazing she got mad he did not love her back it's got to be tough to be a billionaire a single billionaire on these streets like i mean he got a direct message from some chinese lady yeah he's she's lit into the dms and he's like i'm single i'm single i've never had chinese before well she's half this is why her middle name sophia right chinese takeout gets It's expensive. Got it. Got it. Wow.
Yeah, but imagine having to be totally guarded and worried about somebody always trying to take your money from you, right? Right. Like, you have to go back to who are your original friends, and those are your boys or whatever, and it's kind of hard to branch out. Kind of hard, yeah.
I mean, you don't know if any men or women are being nice to you just because you have $3 billion. Yeah. Or $6 billion, whatever it turned out to be. So you know what he did?
You know what he did? He called the FBI. Yeah. Turned her in.
FBI agents searched her apartment and found a phone hidden in a laundry basket and another in a box of sanitary pads, according to prosecutors. One phone had several pornographic videos and images that had Eden's face edited onto another man's body, according to prosecutors. So it wasn't even real. Wasn't even real.
I mean, he's saying he did it, but the video she had wasn't even him. Wow, she chat GBT'd him. She chat GBT'd him. Now make it look like this guy.
Yeah. Make it look like this man. I'm sorry, that violates our standards. No, no, it's okay.
Make it kind of look like this guy. Kind of look like him. Yeah, just don't put it in from behind. So, she was arrested on June 14th at JFK International Airport as she tried to board a flight to China.
She was hitting the road. She's getting out of here. Getting out of town. Man, she could have got a free vacation.
Now she's in jail. This didn't go as planned. Right. The video wasn't that good, I guess.
Darn it. Wait, wait. They were going to put her in jail for the video? The blackmail.
Blackmail. Blackmail is illegal. She asked for half of all the Chinese inspectors came after him. The inspectors?
The inspectors, yes. The inspector division. The Chinese inspectors came after him. The Chinese inspectors, missed out on that.
That was yesterday. That's the Chinese version of Interpol. Oh, I'm going to have to go listen to this episode and catch up. yeah mustard so I don't remember mustard there was something with ketchup and mustard I don't remember what it was yeah yeah yesterday he doesn't like either one it's not true wait well that was that was last week when I was at that was when Greg was here last week wasn't it when the kids stole the hundred wieners no it was yesterday when Greg was like oh I'm gonna have to catch up on I'm like, yeah, get your mustard.
And he's like, what? Oh, that's again something you don't hear. Gotcha. Riveting stuff.
Sorry. Alright, so... And he called that back. Okay, got it.
Yeah, so she's in trouble. So yeah, so now she's in jail. He didn't have to give half of his billions to some random Chinese lady. And he gets to keep the Milwaukee Bucks.
Right. She had no leverage. He doesn't care. Right, yeah, no, he doesn't care.
It's not like he stepped out on his wife and had ruined things. Right. And Rick was single anyway. Yeah, until she tells the FBI that he inappropriately touched her or something.
And I got news for you, if it, like, she didn't play this all the way through, because, like, even if he was married, right, and he realized that this would ruin him, like, I'd be like, okay, well, you know, then I'm gonna give the half to my wife. Right, if she's gonna divorce me, I'm gonna lose half, why not give it to her? Yeah, you crazy bitch. Because you're gonna come back after me for the other half.
Right. Right. Right. It's terrible blackmail.
Have a better strategy. Well, she's obviously not good at it. Yeah. Oh, I no good.
I go to China. I gotta get out of here. Gotta get out of here. Mm.
Excuse me, ma'am. Can you come this way now, please? Phil, what are you looking up? Like, how to properly blackmail a billionaire?
How to blackmail a billionaire? No, I wanted to see what she looked like. Oh, she's... Of course she did.
She's semi-attractive. But he's... Wow. He's an old dude.
Yeah, he could do something with his hair. What's going on with his hair? He's 64. He's sitting on his wallet, bro.
Yeah, she was 44 or something like that, so I mean. Yeah. So he looked, you know, six billion dollars, six billion dollars better. Right.
Yeah. He's much more appealing. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
All right. A lot of international news today. In Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Okay.
Wow. A French teen is facing mischief and public nuisance charges in Singapore after posting a video on social media. What do you guys think he did? Hey, remember, these countries are very strict on things you're allowed to do or not do.
Like that one kid got caned years ago for spitting gum on them. No, the kid got caned for spray painting cars and vandalists. No, that was a different one. That's super strict.
That kid also got caned for spitting gum on the sidewalk. Okay. What do you think he did? So this guy is where exactly?
Malaysia. Singapore. Singapore. The story's from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, but he did the crime in Singapore.
In Singapore. Well, we wouldn't really think of it as a crime. They don't really think of it as a crime, but they do. I'm going to say littering.
He wouldn't dress up as a boy-she, she-boy, boy-girl, whatever they're called. You know what's even funnier about that? Is that like, he acts like when we talk about things, he gets all uptight. Makes him uncomfortable.
Meanwhile, he's all about, you know, picturing this kid dressed up as a girl. Yeah, but maybe they want him to do that, and he said no, and he's like, oh, well, you're going to jail. I don't think they're that strict. Really?
But anyway, he walked up to an orange juice vending machine, pulled a straw out of the straw holder, licked it, videotaped himself licking it, and then put it back in. Oh, he's a criminal. That's terrible. I know, I figured you would think it's actually...
Throw him under the jail! Yeah, especially with this Hanna virus going on. That's worse than the poop runner guy, or whatever. He did a video of himself on social media of him licking a straw from the orange juice vending machine and then putting it back.
Dieter Owen, he's 18, was charged after April 24th and hasn't entered a plea. The city's state largest English language newspaper, The Straits Times, reported he allegedly committed the offense at a shopping mall on March 12th and his video spread rapidly when it surfaced, the report said. So he's a kid, he's 18. 18 year old, yeah, he thought this would be funny, let me lick this straw and put it back in, which he should have done in America, he wouldn't have gone to jail, but in, wherever this is, Singapore or whatever it is, you're going to jail.
And well, you don't, we don't have unexposed straws just kind of laying around. Yeah, yeah, by the way, I was just wondering about that, like what, why would you have that on a vending machine? Yeah, you want to, there's this wild concept, it's called paper, and you put that over the straw? Well, yeah, but then there's littering by the paper.
So if they eliminate the paper, there's no littering of the paper. It's a plastic straw, Palmer. I understand that, but you stick it in there and then you have to throw it away. Some of these countries, they don't put out public garbage cans, you have to take it all home and throw it away.
You have to put it in your pocket? It's a carton of orange juice. We're talking about the straw. Well, yeah, but you still got the carton to deal with, too.
So why sell the carton of orange juice? People are thirsty. Yeah, why sell a carton? I don't know.
It's a vending machine for orange juice. I feel like this whole logic is wrong. Yeah, I like that you're getting upset about, I'm not getting angry. Like, dude, you don't put paper on the straws.
The teen was granted court permission Wednesday to travel to Manila from May 24 school trip, oh well, no, prior first graduation, he is due back in court on May 29th. Mischief, which is a crime he was accused with, straight mischief, carries a penalty of up to two years in prison, Oh, fine, or both. While public nuisance is less severe with up to three months in prison or a fine or both. So he's been charged with nuisance and mischief.
Okay, Phil, do you think the crime matches the punishment? I have a question before I answer that. Do they have misdemeanors and felonies over there? I don't think so.
I think it's just crimes. So you just get hit with the crime? It doesn't matter. Does the crime match the punishment?
Um, for Licking is wrong? No. Licking a straw and putting it back in where other people might use it? No.
Okay, do you think the crime matches the punishment? Why don't they just cane him to do everybody else and get over with it? Yeah, we want to see that. I haven't gotten that far.
I asked a question. Oh, no, it seems a little excessive. I mean, the three-month thing? Okay, maybe that's okay.
Three months in prison for licking a straw? Well, that's for nuisance. It's just because his crime falls into this category. I'm very sorry.
Don't lick the straw! So you think... The kid that took the poster in North Korea almost got killed. So, you're saying the crime does match the punishment if it's a three-month penalty in prison for licking a straw?
Yes, Malaysian prison. That one the guy does from the movie where he talks, where he has all the tattoos, have you seen that clip? The guy was in some weird, never mind. Nope, that sounds weird.
Okay, so, apparently Palmer's okay with three months in jail for licking a straw. Where are you at on this? What's the punishment for this? Yeah, there's absolutely no jail time.
Okay. But maybe, like, public shaming. Shaming, yeah. How do you shame somebody in public?
What's that involved? Maybe what you should do... You hang him up, pull down his pants, and everybody laughs? No.
You pants him out in public? No. I think, like... That's public indecency.
That's another crime. Two years. I think they should bring back, like, where the... What was that little thing?
It's not a guillotine, but... What was the little thing? Chop off his head? No, no, no.
Three years in prison is too much, but let's chop off his head. Take the straw. He's gotta go. Cut the head.
No, what was the thing that he used to put their head and their hands in, and they close it, and they had to sit there? Oh, the, the, yeah. Yeah, what is that called? I don't know what that's called.
I know what you're talking about. Yeah, that thing. That, that's what it should, that's what his punishment should be. In the middle of the busiest place.
And people can throw stuff at him? Or lick straws and throw them at him, yeah. Stick dirty straws in his mouth? Yeah.
Maybe a dirty Band-Aid or two right on his cheek. Rub it on his head. A dirty Band-Aid. Oh, gross.
And this guy was visiting? He goes to school there. Oh. So he knows better.
Right. He knows the crime. Yeah. He's been there.
Do not lick these. There's actually a sticker on the straws that says, "Do not lick this" and put it back. Probably on the dispenser. " Yeah.
I Jews. I'm sorry. Are you moving on? The company operating the juice vending machine filed a police report and sanitized the dispenser While we're placing all 500 straws in the machine.
You need to pronounce that word next time better. That's what is I-J-O-O-Z. I-J-U-Z. It's probably like juice.
Okay. It said it would upgrade its machines to include measures such as individually packaged straws and straw compartments that unlock only after the transaction is completed. Lawyers for the teen who is studying in a French business school in Singapore declined to comment on the case when contacted. And we're at 26 minutes, go!
Right, all right, Florida, what are we doing now? According to the Hillsboro County Sheriff's Office, 33-year-old Nicole Schuler, all of a sudden I can't breathe. Yeah. Oh, God.
was arrested after allegedly stealing a Red Bull delivery truck in Tampa and leading the deputies on a multi-county police chase across Florida. Oh, I saw this. You see this? I saw this one.
But here's the part that everybody's talking about. During the police chase, she got thirsty, so she pulled into a quickie mart. No. Yes.
Deputies say during the chase, she literally stopped at a quickie mart to grab herself something to drink. Stop it. That's where she got caught. What an idiot.
You know what I was so puzzled by with this story? What? Is there really a quickie mart in Tampa? Yeah, I've seen them.
Like the Simpsons quickie mart? No, it's like a 7-Eleven or a convenience store, you know? Oh, okay, I thought it was like the name of the place was a Quickie Mart. It is.
That would be The Simpsons. Yeah, but there's no Apu running the shop. You don't know that. Allegedly.
Allegedly. Yeah, it is Tampa. Ma'am, respectively, you are already driving the world's largest energy drink truck. Authorities say the chase went through Hillsboro County and DePaul County before deputies finally arrested her with help from aviation units and multiple agencies.
The charges include Grand Theft Auto. There's no Quickie Mart in Tampa. Well, they said it also went into Polk County. Is there a Quickie Mart in Florida?
Yeah. Yeah, and Universal. Wow. Universal Studios has one.
Oh, man, that's where they got her. She got out of the car. She has passes. Got a ticket.
Went into Universal. No, no, she has passes. She didn't have to get a ticket. Yeah, and she valeted.
And she valeted the Red Bull truck. I don't know if the $80 is going to cover that. You know, people are really upset about the fact that you mixed up the Disney Cruise thing with Ice when it was the child thing. The one I read said Ice, and they even talked about the Mad Lady and everything.
There was two stories about, they got hit twice. Actually, there was a third story about Disney, too. They refused to depart and made everybody get off the ship. Why?
All in the same way. I know I didn't read the story. I figured a third Disney story just seems too much. Not much.
Yeah. But the headlines everywhere. They were getting left and right hooks everywhere. Yeah.
They searched 10 ships that day. Wow. So. I guess Universal's getting their own cruise line, and now they're mad at Disney.
So they made a call. Oh. Okay. So.
Sorry. So yeah, she got caught. She got caught. Do you think she had the new seasonal summer edition?
I don't know. He says, imagine explaining this to your family that, yeah, I got caught because I got thirsty, but I'm driving a truck around full of drinks. Right, that you can just continue drinking and keep going. She just turned around and got one, I would imagine, at some point.
Well, she had to explain that as she came down off the crack. Allegedly. Allegedly. Well, Red Bull gives you wings.
She should have just flown away. Who steals a Red Bull truck, first of all? That is so, like, where are you blending in, man? You're not blending in anywhere.
It's a Red Bull truck. Well, I mean, if you get far enough away from the police, you're not the only Red Bull truck. Oh, yeah. They've got huge numbers on the back, too.
5-6-0, that's the one we're looking for, fellas. Maybe they can't find it. Oh, wait, it's over here. Look for the one with the woman driver not wearing the costume, not wearing the outfit.
Yeah, she thought she'd blend in like she's making a delivery at the gas station. Right, that's what you pulled in the quickie mark. They'll never think to look here. Cover nothing.
Imagine the idiot that left the keys in it when he went to make a delivery. Right. Oh, man, that guy. That guy, he's fired.
He's done. So, what did you do? Oh, I just left it running. He now works for Bang Energy Drink.
Bang? Right. That's the next one I can think of. Where are they at?
I haven't seen them lately. They're still in the Quickie Marks and stuff. Are they? Quickie Marks?
More Quickie Marks? Yes, we're going with Quickie Marks. After both of you guys. I don't want to say the word and have to edit myself.
When you do the intro for tomorrow, can you say hi? And I'm your host, Mike, I-don't-know-how-to-charge-transmitters, Palmer, or something like that? No, I'm not. No?
No. Last year we covered the new Trump Mobile. The company, the cell phone company that The Sun started. It's done, it's done.
It's worse. It's worse? It was a gold-colored mobile phone bearing President Trump's name and has allegedly been in the works for nearly a year now, but a firm's timeline for its release has remained unclear for almost as long, so the phones never got made. - Affirm?
- They probably never planned on releasing it. - Affirm that was making the phones? - They probably never planned on releasing this. It's even worse, like, somebody took the money, right?
- Oh, yeah. - Yeah, that's as if they're taking the money. - Scam. - The T1 phone announced in June of 2025 by Trump's son, Donald Jr.
and Erik, was to be a signature offering for users of the Trump Mobile Wireless Plan. The company also began taking $100 deposits for the phone. - Oh, boy. - Oh, there's the money.
- There you go. 99. The device is yet to be shipped despite an initial delivery date of August 2025. $499 people had to put down?
No, they had to put down $100 of the $499. So they all paid the deposit of $100, but nobody ever got a phone. You know, it serves them all right. It serves them right.
Why would you give a $100 deposit on this phone? Well, I mean, at the time you thought it was coming out in 60 days. You don't even have to put a deposit on an iPhone. It's not on an iPhone.
No, but this way you were guaranteed a phone. Yeah, this is to get on the list. That makes sense to me. It makes sense.
No. What was the last thing you put a deposit on like that, Mikey? I'm talking about... My Trump phone I never got?
No, not like a huge, huge item like a house or anything like that. Season tickets for the New England Patriots? That's a big item, okay? Those are about $30,000.
Is it that big? I'm still waiting, it's been 20 years. What price do you consider a high ticket item? Anything over 10 grand.
Wait, when did I ever give a deposit for something over 10 grand? No, under. Oh, when I prepaid for a box of cigars. A pre-order.
Good point. Great point. Thank you very much. Wait, no, no.
Hold on, he's lying. No, I'm not. Because he doesn't buy his own cigars. Well, I know, maybe I didn't do it, but people do it.
Yeah, yeah. And they pay for the whole thing. for the whole thing. They pay in full, yeah.
Hoping that this cigar comes out. Yeah. Good point. Oh, I have two things for the Patreon.
Ooh. I thought of something else. Write it down now, please, so you don't fucking forget. No, no, I'll remember.
I'll remember. No, you won't. Yes, I will. Oh, my God.
Yes, I will, because they have to do with the same person. So just the one thing, then. Nope. Two.
Besides the cigars, go on. Move on to the next one. Besides cigars? Yeah.
A watch. You don't know. You can pre-order watches. What is that service for people to come out with new stuff?
I put down payments on stuff to show that I'm committed. Have you ever heard of layaway? Layaway, we put it in the back. Kmart used to do it on bicycles, but then at Christmas time we couldn't find the bicycles.
Is that how that works? Sometimes. I want to keep my comments. I'm sorry sir, I know it's Christmas Eve, but we can't find your bicycle.
Oh my God. Pick the next one up, please. I can understand why people go bankrupt at that point. Well, yeah.
People don't understand how important customer service actually is. Right. Hence Spirit Airlines. That's not why they went out.
Yeah, that's exactly why they went out. No, they didn't. Yes, it is. No, it's price of fuel.
No, it's not. The Trump Mobile website is still directing customers to a waitlist for the T1 phone today and still taking deposits, albeit a phone that appears slightly different from the one introduced with the launch. Oh, now they've changed the look of the phone. That's a gigate.
New company. Yeah. It's not gold anymore. red yeah i don't know yeah when you call them to put down the hundred dollar deposit go just put it right here huh can i get it in gift cards come and pick it up at the quickie mark yeah the red bull lady's here the red bull lady she took all the phones come on man representative of trump mobile was not immediately able to answer questions about of course not you can't call them they don't have phones back to you on that It just rings and rings I can't get through.
People are gullible man. Alright Mike, you got a video for us? So you're saying that the phones haven't come out and there's no information about the phones? Phones haven't come out, they won't answer the phone when people have questions, but the picture of the phone that is now available that you can get on the waitlist for is a completely different phone.
So there's no way to tell if this is a fake website or a fake company or anything? gov, so it's okay. gov? gov, it's official.
gov. gov. That's how you know it's officially the government. gov.
No, you can't. No, you can't. The inspector won't let you. He's looking it up now.
gov? Oh, video. We're getting videos. Attached one movie.
Oh, that sounds so official. - You can buy it if you're a US-based government organization. - Oh, you got this one? Is there volume?
No volume. - No. - Oh my lord, they showed that one! I haven't seen this one.
- Okay, dude, I'm just one of you guys. - This guy's standing there in the runway, and then the guy no-must in there. - Then he's not there no more. Oh.
So is all that white stuff, is that fire or smoke? uh i don't know because it's it's still it looks like fire yeah it's probably fire fire whoever that person is got sucked into the motor he got sucked into the jet the jet i would believe so oh yeah i mean he's got well i from the video i saw look like he might have been hit by like the front wheel but i didn't see this one before so this happened in denver i think that's what it was yeah this is recent uh yesterday day before one or the other so a guy walked out onto the runway climbed a fence to get on the runway i don't know why you couldn't hear the plane coming Ben was trying to cross the runway. Oof. No, it was just suicide.
I think he intentionally stood out there. I think it was suicide by a jet. Yeah, because do you know what it takes to get all the way out there? Do you think he got something against Delta or something?
What was the plan that hit him? It was Delta, but I don't think he cared which one hit him. No? It just happened to be the first one.
" It was been a long week, whatever. You got all your stuff on the plane. You sat down. And then some dude goes out into the runway.
And didn't they see him coming? I mean, it's not like. No. How can you see him coming?
Yeah, we can't turn left or right. Not the people in the plane, but the people in the tower. Yeah. Like a security breach?
Yeah, you know, something. I mean, granted, when he climbed the fence, there's the airplane. But he had to be coming through the field. It's not like there was, you know, buildings right there.
It's normally a big clearing, you know, around the runways and stuff. Well, they have, you know, cameras everywhere. " I guess you got a great point there. There's definitely a lot of people in trouble in this whole situation.
I used to work for a ground handler, there's lots of people in trouble. So, okay, so that's gotta suck for everybody that's on that plane, for starters. Right. Well, you know, you're technically not safe on a plane until it's in the air and you hear that bing bing or bing bong or whatever it is.
Oh, yeah, that's what you're safe? Yeah. You're free to move about the cabin. That's when it's taken off, yeah, and that's past the point of no return.
Now if something happens, we've got to keep going. Oh, gotcha. What? Well, I've got to tell you that.
That's what that's for. It's a safety notification. I've got to tell you, that means I always feel safe on this podcast because he always says bing bong. Right, exactly.
It means we're good. We don't run over anybody. Yeah. So wait, hold on.
Let me get this straight. You're telling me when you're on a plane, and it goes ding dong, right? After it takes off. That means I'm safe.
That means the plane has taken off successfully and you're not going to crash. That's what it's for. That's an obligation for the pilots telling the stewardesses. I don't know if that's true or not.
It's not going to crash. You can still crash. Yeah, but that's the point where they can't go just back down and land. Like, if something goes wrong now, we gotta go up and circle and come back.
You know, you're very convincing with what you're talking about, but I'm not sure. Well, when I used to talk to my one son, his wife is a stewardess, and we asked all these questions the first time we met her, because, I mean, you don't get an opportunity to talk to a stewardess, you know, right there. I mean, I don't believe anything Palmer says anymore. Look it up over there, Phil!
And what's even funnier is the people all over the interwebs are gonna let us know whether it's right or wrong. Right, yeah, they are, exactly. And you know what? Sometimes they're wrong, too, so...
Right. They're just like us. That's even more comical. Like, you idiots don't even know what you're talking about.
And then they split out something that makes no sense. I'm like, okay. You're one of us. Yeah, all right.
One of us. One of us. All right, on the cigar news. Oh, I'm not done with this.
Oh, we're not done with the dead guy in the plane? We've already seen him die four times. What else we got? We may or may not see this information.
No, I'm in. I want to hear more. Please, what do you have? Do you think that this is the way that you would want to go out?
No, sounds so really painful. Excuse me. Really painful. And then what if the plane blows up, too, what, do you just want to take all these people with you?
Yeah, you're thinking-- That could have happened. Yeah, can you imagine? Right. So, your question was, if you had to die, other than old age, how would you go out?
If you had decided to unalive yourself-- Oh, sorry, I can't say the other word. We're being correct. We're being politically correct. We are finally being politically correct on this show.
Look at that. No, I mean, for the most part, I'm pretty politically correct. It's you two yahoos that screw this whole thing up. Sorry.
So, if you decided to un-alive yourself, would running in front of a plane even be in the conversation? Well, I've never actually thought of how I would like to do it, but I don't see that being on the top of the list. Well, let's unpack that. How would you want to go out?
You want me to pick one? Yeah, how would you want to go out? I think gun would be the easiest, the fastest. Gun.
If you take pills, it might take a while. Drowning, no, I don't want to do that. I hear that's very painful. Not going to light myself on fire, that hurts.
Gun's a good statement piece. Hanging, you might change your mind. Yeah, you regret it halfway through. Right, halfway through, then what do you do?
You can't reach the rope? Yeah. God, just being so morbid, there's so many other ways to go out. I don't know, slit in your wrist, again, gonna take a while, you know, the gun, you don't have to think about it, and you don't get to, you know, halfway through, you're not going, oh, I should die 9-1-1 before all the blood runs out of my body.
I mean, getting in front of a plane obviously seems pretty quick and effective. Yeah, but there's a problem, you could take all the other people with you. That's true. You gotta think about that.
Yeah. I mean, unless they're so distraught, they're like, I want to take people with me. Yeah. Right.
I don't know. Okay, Phil, you're king of self-preservation, if you're gonna go to you. What is the least painful, easiest way to do it? What do you think?
How would you go about unaliving yourself? I know that this is, we're opening your mind up to something that you couldn't deem possible. Well, I already had something in mind. That's why I put my mask down.
Okay, all right. Because I'm going to go on the camera for this one. All right, go ahead. Sexual cardiac arrest.
You're going to F till you die? You're going to purposely... Yeah, how else would you want to go out, man? That's the best way to go out.
You're going to pass out... I'm sorry, go ahead. Okay, go ahead. You're going to purposely bang the hell out of something until you die.
And then they're going to have to deal with your dead body laying on top of it. You're going to have to deal with your dead body when you slit your wrists over there. No, I'm shooting myself. He goes to someplace quiet.
He goes to someplace quiet where nobody will find me. I go out in the woods like an old dog. They're eventually going to find you. Your brains are going to be all over the pine tree.
Yeah, but I wouldn't want my wife to come home and find me. Yeah. Or, you know, one of the kids or something. then forever she's going to be like, where did he go?
I'll leave a nice note. Great, great. Oh, we're getting a huge audience today. That's great.
Yeah. He's going to come try to see if the sparklers are working. It's not Greg, because they can't get anywhere. The Sumatras are here, I think.
Greg! Triple G. Everyone Greg has entered the room. Triple G has entered.
Triple G is here. He came back to give us our money for the sparklers. And you, Michael, what is your chosen of unaliving? I would say probably the same as yours, but it would be, yeah, someplace off-basis.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I wouldn't want anybody to find you. Why ruin the house? Yeah.
They're gonna find you. Maybe like on a bridge, when I did it, I went into the river or ocean or something. Oh, do it and then fall in the water and you get washed away? Yeah, but then you gotta die twice.
No? It doesn't work that way. Yeah, 'cause an animal's gonna eat you. Did he just come in to wash his hands down here and then left?
Pretty much. He just wanted us to know he's back in the truck full of cigars outside. I feel like part of the show. I hate the show, but...
Say my name. Check out my hands. Just so you know, Greg, we're going to be super busy the whole time, then there's a meeting, and then we leave. We've got to drag this out.
We've still got to do the Patreon. Right. We're doing a four-hour mooper show. All right, let's go to the cigar news.
HVC La Decoracion heads to stores. Ooh. La Decoración, a defunct 19th century Cuban brand, is returning to shelves by way of HVC. Rainier Lorenzo, HVC's founder, decided to revive La Decoración as a new regular production line coming from Nicaragua.
If you get one of these that have expired, you're exempt from any FDA thing. On the way the old FDA thing read. What? The FDA thing's...
I know it's gone now, but I'm saying at the time if you would have bought one of these older names because then you are grandfathered in because that brand existed before they started. Why he did it, I don't know. Yeah, this is well beyond that. Yes, yes.
I'm just saying. Okay. I don't know if there's any advantage to picking up this old brand where you just couldn't come up with a name. I just like the fact that you just said, "Hey, you know the rule and regulation that doesn't even exist anymore?
" Well, I'm just saying that's the way it was back then. I don't know what it is now. " Beto. Can't come up with a name.
Let's just take one to tell you to. I don't think it's that. I don't think it can't come up with a new name. I think it's, "Hey, you know what?
" So he's paying homage, kind of thing. Yeah. Oh. I'm not going to let you just stand here and attack people all the time anymore.
I wasn't attacking. I have friends that are now angry at me for the things that you say. Things that I say? Yeah.
Oh. Why aren't they angry at me? Why are they angry at you? No, they're mad at you.
Oh. But they lash out at me. Oh, that's good. And I'm like, are we serious?
What are we doing right now? Like, what's going on here? I'm so glad they don't have my phone number to lash out at me. So, they have your phone number.
My phone number's everywhere. They have your phone number, but they know that, what, are they gonna lash out at you? What's that gonna do? That's like beating a dead horse.
Yeah, I might talk about it on the podcast. So, I'm not gonna let you attack Renier. He's a nice guy. It's offered in four Soft Press Vitolas.
Soft Press? Soft Press. There's also a sampler that includes one of each Vitola priced at $54 for the moment. Only 300 samplers have been made.
Oh, that's pretty cool. Renzo told Half-Wheel he was open to producing more. Yeah, the sampler's kind of a neat idea. What's the wrapper?
Las Cal does the same thing. Oh, did I? Yeah. Oh.
I didn't know. Here's the thing about the cigar industry. There's nothing new and innovative about it. A lot of these things have been done before.
I'm glad that they happen, I'm glad, you know, but like, none of, when somebody claims something's original, it's probably not original. That's my point. Yeah, there's only so many things you can do. Yeah, it's like, okay, dude.
I mean, they're cigars. New barber pole! I'm like, wait, no. It's not like there's, you know, new stuff that's going on in the cigars where they're like, I made a square when it's shaped like a pretzel.
Oh, that sounds great. It uses an Ecuadorian 2000 wrapper over tobaccos from Esteli and Jalapa regions of Nicaragua. Ecuadorian what? I don't know, that's what it says.
Okay. Undisclosed. HVC describes it as a medium bodied release. 20 bucks is Habano.
It's an Ecuadorian 2000 wrapper. It's all the size. I bet you it's Habano. We read about the sampler.
Inside the lid, known as the Vista, pays tribute to the Cadrol Metropoliana de la Habana, which was founded in 1777. Okay. I'm guessing that's a church. Sounds churchy.
Take me to church. It's not. Don't sing. Go ahead.
Alright, Gurkha Ghost Zombie Minis heading to stores. Oh my goodness, we combined two words. Gurkha Ghost Zombie? Ghost and Zombie.
And Minis. A Zombie Ghost. Gurkha has begun shipping the new Ghost Zombie Minis with the first shipment heading to retailers today. The Gurkha Ghost Zombie Mini is a 4x34 Petite Corona that is offered in five count tens.
A smaller format cigar designed to be enjoyed in a relatively short amount of time. Everybody wants to smoke their Gurkos quickly. Sounds a little Halloween premature. Well, the ghosts have been around for a long time.
I used to smoke those. Yeah, but go zombie. Well, I don't know why they call it a zombie. They have changed the band slightly.
The blend is the same as the larger size with a Brazilian Adaparaca wrapper and a Dominican Criolo 98 binder and fillers from the Dominican Republic and Nicaragua. Tabacolera, El Puente, SRL, in the Dominican Republic, produces the cigars. Each five count ten as an MSRP of? - Five count ten?
- Yes. - You want me to go first? - Uh, I'll go, 35 bucks. - That's a pretty good price.
Uh, I'm gonna say 30. - 22. - I win. - Too bad they don't work.
- What don't work, the cigars? Let me turn that on for you. They don't work. The cigars were part of a company's new release, which is showcased at the 2026 PCA convention in a trade show last month.
The Gurkha Nicaraguan cash collection began shipping on April 29th, while the Tres Decadentes is slated for the end of June. Okay. I'd kinda like to try these. Me too.
Oddly enough. Drunk Chicken, what? Were those cigars called La Dedication? Yes.
Who were they owned by before? Cuba. I tried to look it up. I can't find them even like the original.
Well, there's probably nothing dating back. I mean, it could be, you know, an old, old, old name. Okay. But it was registered somewhere.
I was just trying to find like the original and see if it said like how it was made. And if it's made in Cuba, there's probably no records that are on the internet. On Al Gore's internet. Right.
Back before it started. Drunk Chicken Ships Mother Clucker Maduro in Living the Dream Connecticut. The two newest limited edition cigars from Drunk Chicken Cigars are on the way to stores. 5x50 Robusto Extra with a Mexican San Andreas wrapper covering a binder and filler blend grown in Ecuador.
I don't know what part of Ecuador. The new blend is a line extended - This is a new thing now which I can't stand. Yes, you mentioned that. Nobody tells you anything.
" Give me a little bit more. I just need a little more info. West side of Ecuador. No, no.
I need to know what's the origin base of the seed. I need to know if it's Habano, if it's Cameroon, if it's Sumatra, if it's San Andreas, whatever. Just Broadleaf. I don't know.
Just give me a little bit of intel because now we're just getting to this path of such vagueness. Or don't tell me anything. Then would you rather they say not available? It's undisclosed.
Undisclosed. Perfect. And then, okay, but like to do, you know, like, you know, I'm trying to find a good comparison, you know, like, how fast did you drive? Well, I drove.
You know what I mean? What? No, I asked like one specific question and you're not giving me any intel. I went between zero and a hundred.
Yeah, exactly. In a car. Okay. I will start filtering the stories for you.
How is that? No, no. I would much rather that you did it and we bashed it a little bit. The original Mother Clucker, which is made with a Habano wrapper over non-disclosed fillers?
They said Habano. It says Ecuadorian, actually. Oh, the wrapper. They said what the wrapper was, but not the filler.
Okay, that's perfect. Yeah, but the filler is okay to be just Nicaraguan or Dominican. So they disclosed it there. Yeah.
But the one before was a Mexican San Andreas wrapper covering binder and fillers grown in Ecuador. Which is fine. Okay. That's what, but that was the one you were yelling about, where in Ecuador.
No, I wasn't really basically talking about them. I was saying in general, like, at least say, what he's saying is, at least say the wrapper. Right, right, right. Yeah, the wrapper he's concerned with.
At least give me the, if it's Ecuadorian and it's Habano seed, tell me it's Ecuadorian Habano. If it's, you know. S. Perfect.
Right. Ah, gotcha. So we don't have a problem with the chicken people. No, no problem.
-No problem with the chicken people. -No problem with the chicken people. -They're on par. -They're on par.
-I like the chicken people. -We like the chicken people. -Yes, we like the chicken people. -We say nice things about the chicken people.
-Yes, I know. I smoked the cigar on your other show you were doing. It was actually very good. -Oh, very nice.
-Yeah, the Connecticut was good. -I took a nice picture and put it up for him. -There you go. -Both cigars have MSRP of, and they're packaged in 20 count boxes.
-You said both cigars? -Both cigars have the same MSRP. -Okay. 16 bucks.
It's kinda high, I'm gonna say 13. Oh, ding, ding, ding, $13. It's like I do this for a living. Each cigar is limited to just 300 boxes.
In a text conversation, Desiree, founder of Drunk Chicken Cigars, told Half Wheel that the boxes of the Mother Clucker Maduro and the Living Dream Connecticut started shipping to retailers today. Don't waste all your wins right now, Mikey. Don't waste all that good luck. Yeah.
Okay. All right, now it's time for the industry's favorite game. What's the score? We had to get Mikey to say what's the score yesterday because Greg would not give us enough oomph when we said the name.
He did an excellent job. Mikey? Greg's nephew. Oh, his nephew.
Is his nephew? No, brother-in-law. Brother-in-law. I know, yeah, because of his age, it seems odd, but that's what it was.
Alright, anyway, one cigar we're doing today, it is May 21st, 2023, Patrick LaGreed, Dominican Republic, Gurkha, Ghost, Connecticut, Asura. You go first. 85, 85, 75, it's the Gurkha, Ghost, Connecticut, Asura, Country of Origins, Dominican Republic, Factory, PDR Cigars, The wrapper, Ecuadorian, Connecticut Okay, fair. Binder, Mexico, filler, Dominican Republic, Nicaragua, and USA.
It's a 6x54, Toro Extra. They smoked 3. 85. If I squint my eyes, I can kind of wear this.
Okay, good. Keep them squinting. It's funny, looking at you before, your eyes were like peeled back, so it was like this, I started laughing. Yeah, it's not the best, it's not the best.
So, we're gonna go 73. 70 what? 3. He was talking yesterday, we couldn't understand him either.
That doesn't cover his mouth in any way, does it? If only we had headphones. We do have headphones. Everybody knows what I say out there in the world.
If only they were fully charged. I wanted to tell you, construction really stands out from start to finish, draws consistently, spotlights, Consistently spot on, smoke production is thick and satisfying, and the burn line stays mostly even. The ash is especially impressive. Holding firm and showing the cigar is well put together.
87. Gurkha. 73. Clue number two, the flavor profile delivers a smooth, approachable Connecticut experience with some nice transitions, creaminess, graham cracker, light coffee, nuttiness, and even a touch of saltiness.
Keep it interesting. The late-stage bump in white pepper and that donut-like sweetness at a welcome change of pace. Little bump in the white pepper. Little bump on white pepper and then a donut.
Because after you do a little bump, you need a donut. Little sugar, little sugar. Need a little sugar. 87.
73. At times, the flavors feel like a bit too muted, with stretches where the profile leans heavily on creaminess and becomes hard to distinguish. It never quite reaches the depth of complexity that would elevate it beyond a solid but somewhat restrained experience. 84.
Yeah, we like this creamy nothing. Screaming donut. 73. Final thought.
The first two thirds of the Gurkha Ghost Connecticut Asura are almost the quintessential, mild, approachable, very smokable cigar. Flavor is quite tame on my palate, with little bits of light pepper providing a gentle tingle on my taste buds. The final third sees things pick up a bit, almost as the cigar knows it has gone easy thus far and wants to deliver a bit more flavor and stimulation. It's not always the cleanest transition and outcome, but it's noticeable and keeps the cigar from being too linear.
Construction is very good on the whole, though the fragility of the wrapper leaf figures it to be an issue, either through its cracking on its own or when it comes time to remove the band, as it causes damage to all three samples. The Gurkha Ghost Connecticut Asura isn't going to wow the palate with complexity or unique flavors, but for a mild, approachable and easygoing cigar, it seems to fit the bill quite well. I mean, it's Connecticut, it's gonna be a Fred Gilly. Yeah, Fred Gilly.
Eighty-seven. Really? Eighty-six. Eighty-seven.
Whoa! That is absolutely... We only got one today. Donkey.
And Chet, stop, drop, and roll. Stop, drop, and roll. Eighty- I can't believe you even guessed that. " And then here I am just nailing it.
Here you are just nailing it. Top of the key! Kobe! I'll retire you tomorrow like LeBron retired last night.
What's that? I'll retire you tomorrow from it like LeBron retired last night. LeBron retired? Oh, yeah, they got swept, so this is it.
But he didn't officially announce that. He didn't say it. There was an article this morning about he has said he needs to spend more time with his family, He has more time with his family, so I assume he's getting ready? Yeah.
I mean, he's been doing it for a long time. Yeah, what, 19 years? 20 years? Something like that.
He's been in since he was 18. No longer. I mean, he's, what, 40? 39, 40.
Yeah. All right. Anybody got anything else? Like and subscribe wherever you're viewing or listening to this show.
Thank you so much for your time. com for all your chpod swag. com, a Cigar Hustlers podcast. A bing bong.
Gentlemen, thank you very much. All right, guys. Bye. Boop.
Show Notes
On todays show Chinese take out can get expensive, Red Bull can give you stripes, trump Mobile update, don’t lick the straw! Then in cigars a define cuban brand comes back! Ghost are back just smaller, Drunk Chicken is shipping! Then a what’s the score!