ACHP Episode 557 Plane UpGrades

Episode Summary

Episode 557 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast brings Mike Palmer, Mike Szczebankewicz and "Triple G" Greg together for a long listener-comment block before diving into news and cigars. The crew reads and riffs on YouTube comments — an apology to Phil Boots, a listener's 3D-printed monthly masks, Jersey Mike's overtaking Chick-fil-A in fast-food customer service rankings, and a running bit about Palmer's phone beeping mid-show. They also talk shop about podcast production quality, new Sennheiser mics, the Rodecaster, and their obsession with fixing audio pops in post.

The news segment covers M&M's/Mars launching a dye-free version of the candy in August that will initially drop blue and brown because natural replacements for those colors proved too difficult and expensive (cue a long tangent about methylene blue "healthy" M&M's), an update to the England zoo story in which a three-year-old boy was thrown over a four-foot fence into a crocodile enclosure by a man with learning disabilities — the zoo owner's wife, Tracy Johnson, jumped in and pulled the child out — plus an American Airlines passenger who bit a fellow flyer during a medical episode on approach to Philadelphia, and the TSA's viral guidance to World Cup visitors trying to carry home oversized bottles of ranch dressing (Kraft is answering with a TSA-compliant single-serve ranch kit).

Cigar news includes Lure Cigars shipping the Wahoo — a PCA 2026 trade-show exclusive line using a Mexican San Andrés wrapper over Nicaraguan binder and Estelí/Jalapa fillers, distributed by Valcarcel Cigars — new packaging (same blend, same vitolas) for the Gold line made at Tabacalera Palma in the Dominican Republic, with the Super Lancero at $104 and the Jetto 6 1/4 x 54 at $76 moving from 10-count to 20-count boxes, and the return of Camacho's Liberty 250 at select events in red, white or blue bundles (identical cigars inside, different bands). The guys smoked the Liberty 250 at a recent Cigar Hustler event.

The show closes with a double round of "What's the Score," guessing halfwheel review scores: Brooks Whittington's 2013 review of the Cuban H. Upmann Royal Robusto (creamy cedar, vanilla, honey, dark chocolate, espresso and classic Cuban twang — final score 92) and Charlie Minato's March 2026 review of the Tradecraft Vitruvian from the Dominican Republic, a 6 x 50 at $14.50 with Ecuadorian Connecticut-seed wrapper, Ecuadorian Sumatra binder and Dominican/Nicaraguan fillers that was dinged for dry, sharp, metallic notes and inconsistent construction — final score 82.

In This Episode

1. 01
   Listener Comments & Podcast Shop Talk
   The crew reads YouTube comments about Phil Boots, 3D-printed masks, Jersey Mike's, and Palmer's beeping phone, then talks new Sennheiser mics and fixing audio pops in post.
2. 02
   M&M's Goes Dye-Free
   Mars is releasing a dye-free M&M's in August without blue or brown, sparking a tangent about methylene blue and charging a premium for 'healthy' candy.
3. 03
   England Zoo Crocodile Story Update
   New details on the three-year-old thrown into a crocodile enclosure, the man with learning disabilities arrested, and the zoo owner's wife who jumped in to save him.
4. 04
   American Airlines Biting Passenger
   A combative flyer bit a fellow passenger on approach to Philadelphia, leading to a discussion of plane etiquette and aisle-rushers.
5. 05
   Ranch Dressing vs. the TSA
   World Cup visitors discovering ranch are trying to fly home with oversized bottles, prompting TSA advice and a Kraft TSA-compliant ranch packet kit.
6. 06
   Lure Cigars Wahoo Ships to Retailers
   The PCA 2026 trade show exclusive with Mexican San Andrés wrapper and Estelí/Jalapa fillers is now hitting shelves via Valcarcel Cigars.
7. 07
   New Gold Packaging & Pricing
   Same blend and vitolas in new boxes — the Super Lancero at $104 and the Jetto moving from 10-count to 20-count boxes at $76 per stick.
8. 08
   Camacho Liberty 250
   The famed Liberty Series returns at select events in red, white and blue bundles with identical cigars inside and different bands.
9. 09
   What's the Score: H. Upmann Royal Robusto & Tradecraft Vitruvian
   A double round guessing halfwheel scores — the Cuban H. Upmann lands a 92 while the Tradecraft Vitruvian pulls an 82 despite harsh criticism.

Brands & Cigars Discussed

Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.

Transcript

Welcome to a Cigar Hustler Podcast, where cigars are just the starting point. Join me, Mike Palmer, along with Mike Szczebankewicz and Triple G back today as we dive into the latest cigar industry, news, sports, current events, business, and whatever crazy stories are making headlines. Whether you're a seasoned cigar smoker or just looking for entertaining conversation, expect honest opinions, plenty of laughs, and a few unexpected detours along the way. On today's show, Eminem is making changes.

Uh-oh. Yeah, I figured you'd be upset there. Rapper or candy? Let's find out when we get to this show.

Oh yeah, I get that, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he's never done this before. We have a story update from England. American Airlines coffee, tea, or bit by a fellow traveler.

Ranch is now the biggest thing in the World Cup. Then in cigars, we've got Fish, a French Goldie, and Liberty Camacho. Then a double up on what's the score. But first, Mikey, how do we get some of that CHPod swag?

And tell everybody about that Patreon show. Tell them, Greg, tell them, tell them, tell them. Back about the cups with the $40, wait. Would you like to buy one?

You want to buy one to get the $40? You have cash? We only take cash. Or a check that we wrote to you that you could sign back over to us.

How many cups is this check worth? One. Just one. That's a very expensive cup.

It's an awfully big Twinkie. Limited. com where you can get all your chpod swag. com, Cigar Hustlers Podcast, for our Patreon.

Like and subscribe while you're reviewing and listening to the show. And I have some comments. Comments. We have comments.

For today, I want to start by saying to this, I'm looking, I'm right on you, Palmer. Yes. Hi. I just want you to know.

I just want you to know. Actually, I'm going to split this. I'm going to split this. No, I'm going to split this.

There it is. Split it. Split it. I just want you to know, your socks.

Yes. That was a present from T-Money. Oh, I thought it might have been. Yeah, he said that you wanted socks for Father's Day?

Yes. So he wanted to put your daddy on the Father's Day socks. Oh, is that nice. Was that a comment on the show, or something he told you?

He told me privately, and he wanted me to deliver that on the show. Oh, well thank you very much, T-Money, they're very comfortable socks. So now you have your daddy on the socks. I have daddy socks.

Yes. I have the picture on the socks. I saw them, super weird. I have the same exact pair, but with Uggie's face on it.

And it's not the exact same pair? Well, the same color. It's weird. Oh, oh.

With your daddy on it. With, you know, with my ex-roommate on it. With your daddy. Your ex-roommate.

Okay, uh, some comments in the chat. Let's see, huh? Uh, comments. Saturday show's becoming quite popular.

It's gaining some, uh, yeah, it's gaining a little traction there. Okay, let's see. Steven Wells, 6945, says: The name says, "We all pick on Phil Boots, Industry Steve, including me. He is an easy target.

I apologize for my behavior in this regard. He is a veteran, a business owner, and a family man. He is also very funny. And all these things point to he is much more intelligent than he is given credit for.

I now realize that it is, as he says, an act. " Well, I have sad, terrible news for you. Sad, terrible news for you. The act is that he's not any of those.

Yeah. Yes, he was in the Navy. He was never on a boat. Okay.

He was a police officer. I saw a really good comedian that was a police officer. It was called something, Master at Arms or something. Oh, the white guy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's funny as hell. He is funny. So he probably didn't do too much.

Yes, he owns a business. I got news for you. org. You can create a business account for a couple of shekels.

Wait, but technically, I think his wife owns it. Yeah, and technically, it's not even his business. It's his wife. It's a good point.

It's a minority-owned business female. Yes, yes. So no, he doesn't own a business. He doesn't own a business.

He's barely a veteran. Yeah, he's barely a veteran. Let's see, what else did you say here? He's not acting.

He is very funny. I will give you that. that but it isn't that he intends to be funny that's what makes him so funny is that it's not intentional right right yes okay yes sorry i didn't know you're looking for answers from us okay uh apparently it's a one-person podcast today um let me see he isn't he's an easy target he's a veteran he is a family man however you want to ask his oldest son about how he feels It's about his dad. Oh, come on.

What? He's at the age where kids don't like their parents. You know that? Well, I don't...

That's standard. That isn't the fact that he sucks. It is what it is. Right?

I was going to say, that's not so much his fault. Right. Regardless. Just the way it works.

What you can do about it. Right. So, if the Oscar is just... It's kind of like Vin Diesel.

Ben Diesel does a good job of playing this one thing, what's that called, like typecasting or something? Typecasting, exactly. Yeah, that's because he's not really acting, right? Right, that's just who he is.

Yeah, and we all love that about him. I loved watching those shows, those movies, because he's that guy, right? Right. Whether he's Riddick, or he's Dom, or he's, help me out, there's one other one, Triple X.

Wait, what about Groot? I am Groot, all you have to say is the sentence. Yeah, but that's not typecasting, that's completely different than what he is. You can technically show him, though.

Yeah, but he is that character. I am Groot. I am Groot, right. I am Groot.

I am Groot. Oh, you want some peanut butter and jelly? I am Groot. Oh, your shoe's untie.

So wait, what happened exactly? Was there a bad comment made about Phil? Who knows? That was last week.

I believe Stephen Wells took a shot at him last week or something. His conscience, his little Jiminy Cricket kicked in. Cricket kicked in. Yeah, it felt bad.

Because that was a lengthy like... And we're here to tell you, it's okay. It's perfectly fine. That's not why he hasn't been on the show recently.

He's not upset. Yeah. Unless he is upset and we don't know. No, I think he's fine.

Because we tried to get him on the show today, but he just couldn't make it. I don't know, too much going on at home with the kids. Yeah, I tried to cater to his time today. Right.

And he still couldn't do it. Still, didn't want to. Yeah. Okay.

@DavidHasseloffin4727 says, Been super busy with work. Greg, that's your favorite term. Super busy. I'm very super busy.

Super busy. Just catching up with episodes, I have July's mask printing now. So apparently our mask woes have been solved. Now we have a monthly mask.

The Jones name is David? David Hasselhoff. David Hasselhoff. He's from Baywatch.

So David is making these masks with a 3D printer? Yes, the butterfly mask he made. That big thing was well done. Yeah.

Wow. Great job. Very impressive. Wow.

Very impressive. I'm very, very excited to see the next one. Yeah. I hope it's a gigantic firework or something coming in.

You know, just like a gigantic, like a red, you know, almost looks like a dick type of a scenario. That Phantom of the Opera one that he wore with all the stickers on it? Yeah. Like, that, that, that felt weird.

Like, it just didn't look-- The stickers felt weird? No, no, like the way that he looked while wearing it just made me feel uneasy while I saw that image. Well, that's what we aim for. We aim for you to feel uneasy.

Okay. Yeah. All right. We have a couple people that message us from time to time that our conversations make them feel uneasy.

Uh-huh. And then we apologize and stop talking about those things. Okay. Because we like them and we don't want to upset them.

Right. And then eventually we go back to those things and then they say, hey, listen, and then we, it's a whole cycle. Yeah, we have a list of topics we're not supposed to talk about. Yeah, but then we still find our way to talking about this.

Nobody gave me this list, just... No, no, you don't get this. Yeah, all right, so like, if I bring up the topic, I'm sorry ahead of time. Oh, apologies from Triple G.

This is the apologetic episode. It's very sweet of you. Okay, getting to the next comment. " Yeah, I guess that's his name, I didn't realize that that was his name, I always thought it was just Terrifier.

The clown, you know the clown, Greg, the white clown? The white clown with the hook nose? Yeah, big smile. Yeah.

He died in real life. Oh, really? The actor that plays him? Yeah.

How old? A couple years ago. I don't know. Can't they just put the bank up on somebody else?

No, it's over. Oh. There's only one Freddy Krueger. I heard they're making another one of those.

Oh, great. Yeah. How do you think about that? What do you think about that?

What does he fight now? The Predator? Yeah. That would be awesome.

Yeah. Freddy Krueger fights a Predator? Awesome. Fredder goes to sleep and he wakes up.

Yeah. That'd be great. Look at that. Okay.

All right. Moving on. Didn't he already, didn't the Predator, who did the Predator fight? No, no, no.

Freddy did fight Jason, though. The Predator fights Alien. Who won Predator? Who won Predator Jason?

Predator? Predator Jason didn't happen. No, who won Freddy Jason? I don't know.

Oh, I don't know. Did they just leave it at like... Ty. Yeah, Ty.

Even Steven. Nobody can die. Yeah, oh, they can't die, it's too bad. Mike Myers didn't just like, come in, oh my god, and Mike Myers comes in, from the top ropes, incredible.

Okay, all right, we're moving on, okay. " Yeah, that's why we don't go there, it's too expensive. Oh yeah? Too much money?

Too much money. I mean, it's really good. I mean, I door-dash everything anyway, so I pay a premium. Isn't Jersey Mike just like a sub-shop?

It is. It is a sub-shop, but it is the number one fast-food restaurant at the moment. For customer service. Get out of here.

For customer service. You didn't listen to that episode yet? No. He doesn't.

I told you he doesn't listen, dude. He's full of shit. Yeah, they beat out Chick-fil-A. Oh, I listen.

Look at that. That's the face of a liar. I have listened to episodes. I have not listened to that episode.

I have not listened to that episode. Exactly. So Chick-fil-A is no longer number one is what you're saying. That's what you're saying.

When I say I saw that, I mean that I have seen things like that from time to time. That my wife told me about it before she took my hamburger. That is not what I'm saying. Yeah.

She took your hamburger. You should go watch this episode. How, how, how, how, how. So, and then, let's see here.

@CW6383 says, "Mikey wears black much better than Law. " Oh, wow. Shots fired, Law. Shots fired.

Who wore it better? Who does listen to the show every day? Black, black, black. Question mark.

Speaking of black, is that a new jacket? No, it's an old jacket. I don't really like wearing it that much, but I wasn't sure what match my wife was at home, so. Looks good on you.

Apparently you need your wife to dress you. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Certainly. Every morning she clears my outfit.

Interesting. New watch. That is the, yeah, that's the watch you got me. Is that the wood grain that we were talking about?

Yes, yes. This is a very good looking watch. Thank you. Let's see it.

Let's see it. That is a nice. Wife got me that for my anniversary. Very nice.

The jacket looks more like a lab coat when you stand up because it's a very thin material, but it's very hot today and it's black, so. Very good. And the watch is brown, so I mean, I had to wear brown or green or something. It works.

Thank you. It works. Well done. Well done.

Thank you. Very proud of you. Okay, 215 Inc. at 215 Inc.

" Yeah. That was a dead giveaway. You know, the volume was all the way down. The thing was turned off.

I don't know how it beeped. Yes, it was mine. I don't know how it still beeped. Okay.

So, Greg, you weren't on the show for this, but I'm going to update you and update our listeners. What happened was Palmer was in this position. He was on the board and the phone kept going off in this area and he would say, "What's with that damn phone? " Wask kept tucking his down like it was his.

Yeah, so, I'm like, Palmer, I bet it's your phone, and in standard Palmer fashion, no it's not, no it's not, you're an idiot is what I get, that's the response I get. I did not call you an idiot. That's what that means, that's what that means. That's what it means, you're an idiot?

Yeah, when I say, hey, I think it's this, and you go, no, that's not true, that means he thinks I'm retarded, right? Retarded. And then I said, hold on, let me text you. " And I was like, uh-oh.

he's like oh i don't know i hit silent mode i'm like you didn't hit silent mode no it's the damn phone the phone it's the problem with the phone like i don't think it's the phone i think it's the user right there it's that face that is a face of a man that does not know how to use iphones no tech right there i'm the ludicrous whatever he said luda the luddite you're a luddite It's ludicrous. You know what a Luddite is, Greg? A what? A Luddite?

A Luddite? A Luddite. Luddite. Spelled Luddite, Greg.

Couldn't do it. It's a person that's, apparently you don't, okay, never mind. It's a person that is anti-tech. A Luddite?

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Think of me your word of the day.

Luddite. All right, I'm going to give you a, I'm going to give you two here, because Mark Palmer posted I mentioned one a while ago, like earlier in the weekend, so I'm going to get to that one and then I'm going to close this out, at Brycefield2489 says, "Do you fix the popping in post? " Palmer, do you fix the popping in post? I answered the text message, I try to, and we catch it pretty quick anymore where we turn it off ourselves and reset it, and then it's just a matter of finding that big blank space and cutting it out.

" So, when we hear it, we identify it quickly, we turn it off and reset it, right? So, you hear, "boop," very briefly. But now, it's to a point where, like, if I'm watching something on Instagram or I hear something, I'm listening, I can hear it. I'm like, "Dude, you need to reset that.

Before you pose this shit, that's an And a minute and 30 seconds long of you going, like, I pick up on it. So, and I won't even say, I'm like, yo, you got that Rodecaster, right, bro? Tell me, tell me you got the Rodecaster, right? So, we have officially popped off on one of these mics, these new Sennheiser yada yadas.

I'm excited to see how it's gonna perform on this board. If it's great, we'll wind up getting the second one, right? Sure. Right?

- Right, as soon as Greg gives us that check back. - Yeah, Greg, we're gonna need your wallet on this. - Charge it to the shop. - Yeah.

- We'll say the name of the shop seven times an episode for the next six months. - I thought you're not allowed to say it on this thing. - We can say the shop. - We can say the name, just not the dot part.

- Oh, I see. - You know, it's also funny too, is like, I'm looking at my YouTube analytics, all of a sudden we got pelted really low, and I saw that one of our shorts says 18 plus, you know, something that Carney was saying? - Oh, God. - It's like three steps forward, four steps back is what it is.

If I'm listening to a podcast and it sounds bad, I can't listen to it. Yeah. If the quality is bad. Right.

And the quality is good. It's really good now. I just think they can be better. That's all.

Right? We're almost at the point where we're going to sit in the room and do the show for everybody individually. So it sounds perfect. What does that mean?

That means we're going to go house to house and everyone's listening to it, we sit with it. That's the only step we haven't done. I feel like we have a few more steps before we get there. I don't think so.

Yeah. Not after we get these Sennheiser or whatever things. The German mics? Yeah.

From the fatherland. From the fatherland. All right. And then my boy at Mark Palmer 570 says, I'm sorry, Dave.

I'm afraid I can't do that. I don't know what that means. Me neither. Who's Dave?

Doesn't he have a good friend, Dave? If that's the same, is it the same? No, he's a good friend of Dack. He's a good friend of Dack.

Dack is not Dave. Craig has no idea what's going on in the world. No idea. Nothing in this industry.

No. You know what I love? I'm going to put this on you. I'm going to put this story on us right now real quick.

Here we go. So a guy calls the store and he wants to meet with us. He wants to come in in the store. He's a sales rep for the area.

Oh, this was a joke. No, it wasn't. Yes, it was. No, it wasn't.

Yes, it was. It 100% was. No, it wasn't. I love that you think that I would do that ignorantly.

Listen to him walking his back. That's fine. I mean, you can think whatever you want. Look at him getting defensive.

Oh, look at him calling you an idiot, Michael. I'm not calling him an idiot. Calling him retarded. What I'm saying is that my brother thinks that I'm an idiot.

Oh, well, yeah. Yeah. I do. Yeah, you fucking do.

Yeah. Only on specific things, though. Like, spell weapon. Right now.

G-U-G. Yeah. Right. Right.

It's not blanketing. No, but you apparently think that I don't know who someone is in this industry where obviously- Oh, that guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where obviously I did and it was a joke, but to you, you think that I just didn't.

I still believe that you did not know. Oh, no, I definitely did. I still believe that you did not know. I know.

I was operating under the assumption that it was his lineage on the phone that I did not know, as obviously I had no idea who was calling us. But that was an assumption, but yeah, I knew who it was. You thought Senior was on the phone? Yeah, that was a stretch, yeah, I didn't think it was him, but I didn't know who was on the other end.

I assumed due to the name that it was. Right, right, right, right. If you don't say the name, I have a comment, but if you say the name, I won't say the comment. Wait, what?

If you don't say the name? Now I don't know how to proceed. What's the best way here? Right.

Well, it's a short comment, so go ahead, I'll say it after. Okay, so you're gonna say it anyways? No, no, no, I'll say it after the show. Oh.

Only if we don't say the name? No, no, no, no. If you say, go ahead, if, if your story is better by saying the name, then by all means say the name. But if we don't say the name, you'll have a comment.

Yeah, I have a derogatory comment. Oh, okay. Well, I don't think you should say any of that. Oh.

I don't know what to do at this point. At this point, I have no words. Part of me wants to see him drive off the cliff. Well, the problem is, we're all in the car together.

I still, you know what, I'm okay with being in the car, that's what life insurance is for. Oh, well, whatever you want to do. Oh, go ahead and say it. Uh, I mean, I didn't sit in on the meeting, obviously, so I don't know how it went, but as the meeting went on, he slumped and slumped more in his chair and started putting, I mean, it was, just didn't seem very professional.

Oh, oh, yeah. That's not derogatory. Yeah, no, not at all. Well, what wound up happening is, he wanted to be more comfortable.

Yeah. Well, no, I understand why he did it, but still, if you're in a business meeting with two guys you're not familiar with, unless you guys already knew him, I wouldn't have started slumping, putting my arm up. I totally disagree with that. Yeah, I disagree with that as well.

I totally disagree with that. Yeah. And here's why. Because, you know, for one, we had a very open and honest conversation with this guy.

Right. Because I know that he's new to this space. Right. And we broke his balls a little bit.

We gave him a hard time. He took it very well, you know, and I don't know, like you could tell that he got comfortable with the conversation, right? So if he continued to stay tight and jaded like the whole time, I would have just continued. It would have been worse for him.

Like you're sure. Yeah, that's what I said. I wasn't privy to the conversation. Maybe that's just the way it was going.

It just, I don't know. I was really excited about what you're going to say. And now it wasn't that fun. Now you're disappointed.

Yeah. Yeah. It was kind of fun. So, anyways, Christian Oroa Jr.

calls the shop, and Greg has no idea who Christian Oroa is. That's not true. He has no idea. Really, no idea at all.

That is not true. He doesn't know. He just lives in his own world of nothing. That's like, I don't get it.

It's amazing. It's amazing. Do you know who Carlito Fuente is? Yeah, related to the Padron family.

Yeah, that's the one. That's the one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the one.

He was the third baseman for the New York Knicks. Did I say basement? You said the basement. He's the third baseman.

Third baseman. For the New York Knicks. Knicks. Yeah.

That's a basketball team. Doesn't even make sense. See what I mean? This is what I'm talking about here.

Okay. If you want to hear your comment, read aloud on the show, comment below, and we may comment on the commenting, and it'll be fun for all of us. We'll have a good time. Comment the commenting.

We'd like to comment on the commenting. We will read the comment. I'm coming. Yeah.

This portion of the show. And we're probably going to do... By Christian Iroa, who doesn't know who he is. Christian Iroa, possibly junior, who knows?

Yeah, I thought he was taller. Yeah. Amazing. But he seemed like a sweetheart of a kid, guy, guy.

He's a guy, right? He's a man. He's a man. Oh.

So he's over 18, right? Mm-hmm. He's gotta be 20, I think he was like 23 or something. 23.

Yeah. Is this his first job in the industry? No. No.

No. But it's him making the rounds and experiencing that of which it is to be a rep. Mm-hmm. So he got in trouble?

No. It's just... Palmer, like, you've dealt with retailers. Sure.

Like, you understand that, like, there's a lot of getting kicked in the teeth, bro. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? Well, it's kind of like, you don't want your kid just to go in and, "Hey, I'm the national I'm not a sales manager.

No, no, not at all. You know what I mean? Right. Start at the bottom, work your way up.

Yeah. Well, you got to at least understand the parts of the business and understand all of it. You know what I mean? Sure.

So it makes sense to me. And I don't know. He's going to be a good fit. He's got a good personality.

I think so. He's got a, you know, he's very approachable. He's off the jump. You could tell that, you know, he's going to, I think he's going to do well.

He's going to do well in this industry. I would say so. Okay. By the way, you can tell what time of day it is by what I'm smoking, just for the record.

Like, when I move to the- where is this camera? Right here. You're holding it up to the screen. Exactly.

There it is, over there. When I go Habano, it's midday. San Andreas is midday Postano. Or Sumatra, Connecticut.

It's gonna be earlier on. So, I'm ready for the news, though. I'm 23 minutes in, so go ahead. M&M's is set to launch a new dye-free version of the iconic candy.

Are you kidding me? Nope, this is August, but two familiar colors will not be included. They're getting rid of green. Green's got to go?

Is that what you guys are guessing? You want to guess? Brown. Getting rid of brown.

He said green. They're getting rid of brown. According to Mars, the initial release will not be featuring blue or brown. Oh!

M&M's at the company works to replace artificial dyes with natural alternatives. Company officials say recreating those colors have proven far more difficult and expensive than expected. Oh, I had a great idea for a great idea for M&Ms. Go ahead, go ahead.

Are we done or not? Mars says the dye-free version is part of its broader effort to offer products made without synthetic color additives. Oh, all right. There we go.

Go, Greg. Well, like everybody's trying to make this pivot to like a more healthier thing to eat, right? It's candy. Yeah, I know, I get it, but like to remove the synthetic dye is part of like, we want to be more healthy.

Red dye causes cancer, green dye makes you horny, and whatever else. McDonald's is like a stock has been on a steady decline for a bit because of like the perspective of the populace. It's been taking my money, no problem. Get me a double quarter pounder all day, baby.

Go ahead. Well, I get it. It'll make sense. Here, here, here's how you fix both.

I can solve this problem for M&M in two seconds. Sell Skittles. No. No.

No. Here's what we do. You take the blue ones, right? Right.

And you make them out of the methylene blue. You know what I'm talking about? The stuff that RFK does with the little dye, and like it's a big thing where it's this synthetic, or it's this blue dye that makes your brain better and all those other things allegedly. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It makes their mouth turn blue. yeah yeah yeah yeah so what we do now is we just take this and we call in the blue the blue ones are healthier now because of the methyl yeah yeah the methylene blue are there several things that you could use to change colors of candy yeah but now we're going to use a healthy thing no no that's what i mean i'm sure we can just use healthy dyes and then and then we could charge here check this out hear me out on this mars ten dollars a pack m&ms because they're super healthy and people will We'll buy them, no problem, because they're the healthy M&Ms. Do you sell just the blue ones separate? Well, if you wanted to, then you could, it's just kind of like the, yeah, only all berries, with like the Cap'n Crunch?

Right. Same scenario here. Oh, all blue. Same scenario here, we're talking.

Love the all berries. And then again, again, we charge a premium for the sole blue. $20. I mean, that seems a little over the top, maybe like another 20% markup.

You said regular is $10. Yeah, I'm at $10, and then I go $12, you know? $12. Yeah.

And there's no such, inflation's fine, so you know, that's not a problem, right? Oh, Palmer's on his phone. I've got a work thing. I love you more.

No, I love you more. You know, you text your wife all the time or take phone calls. All I'm doing is answering a wholesale question. Oh, it's so defensive.

I love how you're scowling while you're retorting. Because I'm trying to see, I'm squinting. You are very defensive. No, it's okay, honey.

I'm not texting my wife. I didn't say you were. You're texting Keanu. Oh, no, I'm not texting Steve.

No, I'm not texting Keanu. I love you more. Okay, all right, good, good. And next topic.

Yeah, because you guys were no fun on my methylene blue. We agreed with you, except for the $10, it seems a little expensive for candy. It's healthy food. So healthy food costs more?

Of course. Does it have to though? Of course. Why does it have to cost more?

Because it's more productive, you got to put the good stuff in. Can you overdose on the methylene blue? Who knows? Who knows?

Warning, I'll put a warning label on the M&M's. Pee in blue? Yeah. Yeah, hey, don't eat too much of these.

Could be bad for you at some point. Right, or something. Who knows? Or something.

All right, we have an update to a story. Okay. The boy that was thrown into the crocodiles? Yeah.

The guy that threw him in was mentally handicapped. Oh. I don't know the original story, but this definitely adds a new spin to it. Okay, in England, a three-year-old boy was thrown into a It's a crocodile enclosure at a zoo.

Three. Three. Three. The owner of the zoo's wife jumped in and saved the boy, but he suffered critical injuries from the crocodiles.

Do we know the boy's gonna be okay? Oh my. Well, everything I read, nothing said that he had passed, so I think it's just critical injuries. Okay.

Following the incident Thursday at lunchtime, the youngest is thought to have been tossed over the four-foot safety fence. What type of handicap? They're saying he's mentally handicapped. Okay, well, like, well, what does that mean?

Is he, well, autistic? Is, does, does he? In England, they say he had CARES people, C-A-R-E-S, which I had to look up. Yeah.

And that means he has someone who follows him around and helps him all day long. So, so we still have no idea what this guy has? No, but we know now that he wasn't, you know, uh, just some mean man who picked him up. I don't care.

How do you not, listen, how do you not throw this guy over the fence? Well, yes, still, but, and also, the mother was out front, and the three-year-old was in this enclosure unattended, so maybe she was, like, out front having a cigarette or something, you know, and her kid, you know, with a four-foot fence, and there's a little bit of a drop-down. What does "out front" mean? Well, she's sitting on a bench out front, is what the story reads.

Out front of the zoo? No, no, out front, out front, out front of the crocodile area. Well, that's because no one's allowed inside the crocodile enclosure. Of course you're out front of the crocodile enclosure.

Have you been to a zoo lately? No, no, no. Okay, you go to a zoo and there might be an area where the crocodiles are. They're not just in the middle of the zoo, so maybe you have to walk into something, then there's a four foot fence, down lower, you know, you look over the fence and there's the crocodiles down below.

They can't get you, you can't get them, unless you get picked up and thrown in. So mother of the three year old is 20 feet away, is that what you're saying? I don't know, it could be, it could be a door, I have no idea, but she was not tending to her job. How do you leave your three year old unattended?

Well, that's part of, yeah, that's part of, part of the new details of the story. Where's dad? I want to know where dad is. Maybe there is no dad.

See, that's the problem. You know what I mean? There's no dad? Yeah, dad, dad needs to be there.

Tracy Johnson, who runs a zoo with her husband, Andy, jumped into the pit and snatched him from further danger. Attagirl, Tracy. She's a hefty, large woman, but she's-- Oh, you saw a photo. Oh, it was a photo of her.

Her husband's holding a giant alligator and she's behind helping him, but-- Crocodile. No, no, it was an alligator in the photo. This is not the same thing. Oh, that was a different...

They have alligators there, too, apparently. A man with learning disabilities was arrested at the scene on suspicion of attempted murder, but has since been bailed out until September after being assessed as unfit for an interview. Apparently, he was very upset. Just throw him over the fence.

What's the problem? Just throw him in, too? Dude, zero hesitation. First of all, I'm not leaving my kid out of my sight and a crocodile thing.

But as soon as, look, but listen, if somebody's approaching my kid in the crocodile area, this is, mm-mm, no, it's not happening. He's going over. Like, I'm talking WWE, you know, across the, like, the clothesline, we're just, you know, just bam. I don't get this at all.

This makes no sense to me. Well, it gets worse. How could it possibly get worse? The people that were supposed to be watching The Man were on their phones outside, too.

They weren't watching The Man. Oh my God. Everybody's on the bench 20 feet away. Everything that could possibly go wrong in a situation has, except that the lady jumped in and saved the baby.

Wow. The man's carers on their phones. They should have been held liable. Right, they should, right, they should, the mom for being outside, the people for not watching the guy, the guy for throwing the kid.

The only person who's innocent in this whole thing is the poor three-year-old. Yeah, the poor kid was just trying to kid. Unless he went up to the guy and went, "Throw me in," you know, put his hands up to the guy. I want to see the crocodile.

Kid's still not liable though. Even if it was, throw me in. Still not liable. Yeah, still not okay.

Still not okay. Like we're not, yeah, that's not happening. You got to ash, all your ash off your shirt by the way, Greg. Just so you know.

A mother who was at the zoo at the time of the incident described hearing a loud scream, Greg screamed loud, while sitting on a bench outside the enclosure. My God, Ridiculous. Kids in critical condition. Kids in critical condition.

Not good. Not good. The guy's in jail, the caregivers were not paying attention to the guy, and the mother was not paying attention to the kid. But he's out of jail.

Yeah, he's been bailed out until September because he's not fit for interview. He's very upset. Yeah. Probably that the crocodiles didn't get to eat the child.

Well, it's not that he's not fit for interview. He's not fit for interview right now. Yeah, there you go. Perfect.

Yeah, exactly. Well, you see... He's a crocodile down there, throw him in! Oh man, he needed to be cared for, and we don't know.

The mental picture in my head is so wrong, there's the mother, the caregivers, chain-smoking cigarettes while on their phone, 40 feet away, a young man with Down syndrome just throwing this kid after the kid is like, up, up, up, and everybody's got an accent, like it is wrong. " You know? This robust woman comes running through, thank you for saving the day. That in itself was amazing.

I had a girl. Good for her. Mm-mm. Would you guys jump in if you saw somebody throw a kid in a crocodile?

Oh, man, don't ask me that question. You don't want to know the answer. Well, Phil's not here, but no, he's not. Oh, God.

My wife would be screaming at me as I'm jumping in. You're about the size of the lady. You'd have a good chance. I'm like, no hezzy, bro.

They don't say that she got bit at all. Doesn't even have to be my kid. You know, I'm in. I'm in.

Well, she might think, ah, the liability. I gotta get this kid out of here. Wow. Their insurance premiums went through the roof.

It just went up crazy. It's crazy. Well, it's England. Maybe you don't have to have insurance over there.

I'm sure you do. No more extra chromosomes. If you have an additional chromosome, you're not permitted to visit the zoo. You know what I mean?

Like, hey, we're talking about insurance, right? After you get out with the kid, Michael, do you throw the guy in? Well, that was his first move. Before he launches after the child, there are reparations that occur, and then he rescues the child.

Yeah. Yeah, go jump. We need a distraction. Yeah, distract the crocs.

Go pet the crocs, buddy. It's wild, man. I'm never going to a zoo, so I'm never in that position. Can't risk it.

Honey, we're going to the zoo. No, on the outside chance, somebody throws a kid in somewhere. Somebody goes in. Guess what?

I'm going in. I gotta go in. That guy's gotta go in. Don't go or I jump in.

Everybody's going in. You know? What are we doing? What are we doing?

Oh, my God. And then everybody's got the accent. In England. In England.

You know, there are alligators at the Sanford Zoo. Alligators? Yeah. Dude, but, I don't know.

That's a little fence, too. It's really easy to get in. It is at Stanford, though. Yeah.

Should go to Gatorland that Greg's never been to. I heard it's great. Have you been yet? No, why?

Why don't you go? Because you're very outdoorsy. It's not. Go there, get some hordivores.

You can get some alligator ribs. You get two plates and your wife can eat both of them. Who hasn't? It's Florida.

We live in Florida. You eat alligators. It's at the grocery store. Yeah.

Right next to the pork, chicken, alligator. All right, you know who else got bit? Who? An unruly passenger bit a fellow flyer on American Airline flight as it approached Philadelphia on Sunday.

What'd the other guy do? According to the pilot of the plane, the passenger also seemed to become generally combative with the pilot, reporting that the individual on board was trying to fight everybody. How'd he let him on the plane? Well, he didn't start doing that until they landed.

Oh, and then he started going... He started going crazy. I bite you. In air traffic control audio reviewed by CBS News, I don't know if he's hallucinating or whatever, but he just bit a passenger, and now he's trying to fight everybody on the plane.

Okay. " The pilot also requested an emergency medical crew and law enforcement meet the plane upon its arrival in Philadelphia International Airport. Just as a precaution, American Airlines said the passenger was experiencing a medical emergency and that a medical professional on board assisted the customer before the flight landed. Medical personnel met the passenger.

American Airlines said the airline did not say if police were present when the plane landed. So this guy just started freaking out as they were landing and then decided to bite the guy in the seat next to him. Okay. Yeah, police should have been present.

So, Michael, if you're in an airplane and somebody bites somebody, you're going to throw that guy off the plane? It depends on where it happened in the plane, I guess. Well... You know what I mean?

Like, I mean, I've had... He might not know. He's got his eye thing on. He's got his neck thing on.

Yeah, that could be oblivious. He might have no idea. He might get bit and not know. I mean, I've had interactions on a plane.

You know what I mean? Where, like, I'll stand up and blocky. I was gonna say, normally it's during the... The exit?

The exit, yeah. Yeah. Where I've had people, you know, make shitty comments to me. Like, dude, we all want to get off the plane, bro.

And, you know, I'm just waiting for it, I'm like, yeah, I'm still not, no, you get to stand here like everybody else, you know? And then I had one who scurried out his girlfriend before him, and I was like, well, you're stuck now, because you just did that, so good luck. I think you were on the plane with me on that one, weren't you? Oh, probably.

And then when we got out, it was either he scurried out, or no, she scurried out. And so then when he came out behind us, I said, hey, you had to wait anyways. How does that feel? Oh, to the girl?

No, I said it to him. Oh. I said, you know, it's not hard to just be a good person. Like, I can't stand that.

Just be a good person. And, you know, we'll all get through this together. Everybody's trying to get off the plane. Yeah.

Well, I gotta go. Well, guess what? So do the other 300 passengers on this goddamn plane. Yeah, we all gotta go, buddy.

You know? Right. Now, if you said, hey man, I gotta get out of here, dude, I really gotta take a shit, or something like that, I'm like, dude, let this guy, let this, yeah, hey, exactly, let this guy through, let's go, you know, let's help this guy out, because he's in a pinch, but we're all in a rush. Just being pushy.

Yeah, just being a prick, I'm the guy, I'm happy to be that guy, to meet you and say, no, you're not gonna do that today. So, but like biting, I don't know if I could see that going down or not, you know what I mean? Well, this guy has some type of mental breakdown or something. If he sits next to me...

I don't know why he went for biting. Yeah, I mean, if he sits next to me and tries to bite me, yeah, that's... " Yeah, no, that doesn't happen at all. No, like, why is this man unconscious?

I don't know. No idea. Here's his teeth. I have no idea.

I have no idea what went down, but he's very tired. Somebody approve Steve's order. Okay. The Transportation Security Administration responded to the viral trend of World Cup fans discovering ranch dressing with some instruction for safe transport.

Isn't that lovely? Wait, what? Ranch dressing. You know what ranch is?

Yeah. Alright, people from other countries don't until they got here for World Cup. They've never had ranch dressing. They don't have ranch dressing everywhere.

You think it's big in Kenya? I mean, okay, there's probably a lot of things that aren't big in Kenya, but I mean, do you use like, how about England? Like, they don't have ranch dressing in England? I don't think they have ranch dressing there either.

I mean, I'm sure there's places that sell it for Americans, but I don't think it's a regular staple over there. Okay. So people are trying to take these large bottles of ranch back home with them on the airplane. Oh, past the fluid ounces.

Yes, exactly. Not allowed. We're having a ranch catastrophe at TSA. The TSA took to social media to offer advice to fans visiting the United States for FIFA World Cup games.

So soccer people like ranch. How is it that ranch dressing is so life-changing that you're like, "I have to bring this back and show it to my people"? Have you had it? It's delicious.

I'm not that big on ranch dressing. Like, no, like, it's not that great to me. Oh yeah, he's very healthy now, isn't he? No, but it's got nothing to do with healthy.

Yeah, he's having the methylene blue M&M's. I just don't like the taste of it. But apparently to some people it was so big, like, I must bring this to my people. If you can get a good ranch.

Oh, yeah. There's good ranch and there's bad ranch. Okay. He said, oh, yeah.

You can dip anything in it. Oh, yeah. Palmer is all of it. Oh, bro.

I like ranch. You've never had a good ranch. You've got to have a good ranch. Like a real good ranch.

A real good ranch, right. The world is slowly discovering ranch pairs perfectly with pizza, chicken wings, fries, onion rings, quesadillas, crackers, chips, vegetables, the list just goes on and on. We can take this dressing home and put it on all of our koutchermonts. The koutchermonts?

The koutchermonts, isn't that accessories? Yeah, it is accessories. My brother's just pouring ranch on watches and bracelets. We can lick it off of our bracelets.

I thought you could at least go with the crocodiles. No, no, no, no, no. I want to put it on my t-shirt and save it for later. The TSA wrote on Instagram officials share advice for traveling with ranch in a series of posts on threads you're not visiting for a very large sporting event you happen to discover ranch while you're here please put it in your checked bag on the way home the TSA is like listen man we just got back to work it's been like three months here we've been showing up no pay and now we gotta deal with your bullshit in this ranch I mean come on man have a brain coming in through right right right please avoid We're chugging your ranch outside security.

I need you to pick it up a little bit here, man. I mean, you're not, you're not much fun today. Step it up. Let's go.

What is it? You. You. You.

Targeting me while you're speaking? Like, you're speaking. All attention is on you. Hey, Greg, Greg, you need to like interrupt him or something.

Set something on fire. I don't know what's going on here, but you're just- I don't like ranch. You're just not doing what you're supposed to be doing. Palmer, shut up.

Greg, say something. Exactly. Thank you. That was much better.

Yes, yes. Okay, well, we got good news. Craft is making a TSA compliant ranch container. Of course they are.

Of course they are. Why not? It's a travel friendly way to bring the taste of America home. The craft kit features multiple single-use ranch packets like ketchup packets.

Oh, genius. Placed into a TSA approved quart-sized clear little zipper bag. Perfect. I love it.

I love where their heads at. Let's move on now. Ranch packs will be a little hilarious. All right, good.

Can we get some cigar news? Because we're at 42 minutes. Now we're in cigar news. All right.

Rantz-flavored cigars! Also good on cigars! TSA Craft also announces: They're putting ranch on everything! Give me some...

Lure of the Wahoo, Lure of the Wahoo, also good with ranch, showing up at retailers. A new line that Lure Cigars sold exclusively to retailers who attended the PCA 2026 convention and trade show is now on shelves. Last week, Lure Cigars began shipping the Wahoo, a new line that uses Mexican San Andreas wrapper, covered in Nicaragum binders from Esteli, and filler tobaccos from Esteli, It's from Esteli and Jalapa. So we've already talked about the cigar.

We reviewed this cigar on the Patreon. It's stored well, so... This guy's all over the place. He is.

Yeah, I think he's working hard. He is. He's doing a good job. My friend Lou, he's doing a good job.

He is. Keep up the good work. Maybe one day a cigar hustler. Maybe one day.

But not today. But maybe one day. It's distributed by Valakari Cigars. Virkori.

Semperi Gold ahead of the stores. Oh. In a new box. Expensive.

Well, they all got new boxes. $7,000. Well, the broker was here today because the- Per cigar. Per cigar.

The article does not mention the price, so I had him figure out the price for it. He got his abacus out, he said, carry the one, let's see, that's going to be $650 a cigar. Yeah, it's going to be a lot of money. Sam Frye showed off the new boxes for the line in his portfolio, no change.

Very rare. More dramatic than the updated Gold Line boxes. This week, the new packaging begins shipping to stores, while the cigars themselves, both the Blend and the Vitolas, are the same. The same, same cigar, new box.

Is shining. Is very shining. The Superlant Cero is 13 and a half by 40, retails for $104. American.

American. American, which will continue to come in five count boxes with each cigar in its own coffin. And the Jetto, the six and a quarter, 54, is going to be $76 per stick, which is transitioning from a 10 count box to a 20 count box. Oh wow, more money.

It was too cheap, we need to make it more expensive, so double. Bigger check. The San Paray Gold uses a Maduro wrapper, the country of origin seed are not disclosed. We're not saying.

They're over a Dominican binder and Dominican fillers. San Paray says the tobacco used for the blend is aged for a decade. 1,000 years. 1,000 years of aging.

Like the rest of the portfolio, it's made in Tabla Galera Palma in the Dominican Republic. The Senpai Gold was introduced in 2017 in the Super Lancero size. He's super. Albeit using a different blend that was topped off with an Ecuadorian Sumatra seed wrapper.

Oh, Sumatra. In 2024, the company re-blended the line and added the Jetto. Re-blend. Alright, Camacho Liberty 250 now available at select events.

Just like something that Phil would do. Get yours now, today. Just mocking, just mocking. Just adding words for no purpose.

He's repeating the last two words of each sentence. Sentence. Sentence. Camacho's famed Liberty Series is once again back at stores, though in a very different way than before.

We're on a new one already, you just rolled right through that. Well, I mean, you guys were mocking and making fun, I just kept going. Did you have more to add than just repeating the last word of each sentence? Are you excited about this cigar, Greg?

Tell us about the gold. You're tied with these guys. So, like the Lancero, it's expensive as shit, but I've wanted to smoke it. You want to smoke it?

You can't get one? I do want to smoke it. I want to see what it's like. Let's see what it's like.

Do you know a guy? We can try to find one somewhere. You're very puppy today. Figure it out.

You're a little puppy. It's very, very large. He was… Critical condition. Critically hurt.

Critically injured. You were like… That could be from the fall. I mean, he threw it into a concrete pit. You were like Gregory when he meets someone in the industry, no idea who he is.

Christian Leroy Jr. Sounds familiar. I wonder if he parked my car. You look like someone I know.

Was your father valet at one hotel? You know? Is that an outdoor facility? I'm very outdoorsy.

Yeah, I like to go to a fancy dinner and have... Was he my waiter at the 12-course meal? Does your father know how to fold a napkin very well? I must ask you.

That's funny. Alright, there's a 250 cigar that we all had this past weekend when we were at an event at Cigar Hustler. Yeah, that cigar was really good. Anybody notice it was red?

Some of the pictures show it has a red ash. I did not notice. I did not notice. No, I didn't see that.

But I had the blue one. I didn't have the red one. That was a lie, yeah. It tricked us.

That law guy. Law. Camacho Liberty 250 is packaged in red, white, or blue bundles, regardless of the bundle's color. The cigars inside are the same.

Oh, then it doesn't matter. Okay, just different band. Different band. His band is different.

Alright, it's time for the industry's favorite game. What's the score? Players hear clues from a half-wheel cigar review and try to predict the score before it's revealed. As more details are shared, the challenge gets easier.

Or does it? The closest guess to the actual score wins the round. Can you read between the lines and predict the score? Let's get on with today's first cigar.

Let's get it on. March 25th, 2013, Brooks Whittington is the reviewer. Havana's H. Upman Royal Robusto.

Greg, this is Cuban. Oh, see how he said that after I said that? Is that where I said that? Oh, he said Habanos.

He has no idea what's going on. No, he doesn't. Christian did make this. Christian Omega.

Made by Christian Roja Jr. At this point in 2013, he's five. He's five. He's five.

He's a five-year-old making cigars in Cuba. He was a blender in Cuba. Yes. Master Blender.

Master Blender. Okay. I'll go first. Sure.

78. Wow. 80. Cigar Reviewed H.

Upman Royal Robusto is from Cuba, Factory, Jose Marti, Marti, Rappers Cuban, Binders Cuban, Fillers Cubans, the 5 3/8 x 52 Robusto, and they smoked 2. 78. 80. The H.

Upman, oh, first clue. The H. Chapman Royal Rebuso sounds like a fantastic example of what makes Cuban cigars special. That progression from creamy cedar and vanilla sweetness into honey, dark chocolate, and espresso, all backed by plenty of a classic Cuban twang, makes for a very engaging smoke.

The fact that it stayed cool and never turned bitter right down to the nubs says a lot about the construction. Twang. 87. Big jump.

85. Clue number two. This is hanging around my number. That's what you're doing.

What stands out most to me is the balance between flavor and strength. The cigar starts smooth and refined and gradually builds into a solid, medium-plus profile without overwhelming the palate. The combination of exceptional smoke production, a clean finish, and obvious aging potential makes this one sound worthy of putting a box away for the future. Ninety.

Brooks? You said Brooks? Did I said Brooks? 88.

Whittington. Habanos. Habanos. Not made by Christian Eroa.

Crocodile. Yes. Crocodile. Three-year-old child and a cared person.

Taste of Ranch. Taste of Ranch. Methylene Blue M&M. Oh, did you guys both say a score?

Yes. Oh, alright. Clue number three. I completely lost the story.

While the flavor profile appears excellent, the cigar wasn't without some drawbacks. Tasted like ace. The burn was wavy in the opening third, and the ash was disappointingly flaky, refusing to hold for more than about half an inch. 5x52 Vitola Robusto feels a bit misleading compared to the traditional Cuban Robusto dimensions.

That doesn't feel like that big of a deal to me, I don't know, call me crazy, five and a half by 52, Greg, what do you think? The number, or the... Yeah, the gauge, the severity of the... Cuban and Robusto?

Yeah. Yeah, I know. Okay, thanks so much. We're on a podcast, by the way, just so you know.

You have to talk, there's talking involved. Yeah, some words. Speaky, speaky? Not that much.

Maybe we just get a puppet next time. You know what? We can totally do that. We can totally do that.

You know, you know what, David Hasselhoffman, uh, maybe throw in, uh, maybe make a Greg puppet for us that, uh, that we can just kinda sit in the chair. Yeah. And then I can control. Well, we have Greg today.

I'm like, yeah, I'm very outdoorsy. Matt Damon, Matt Damon, 88. Wasn't that my score? Didn't I just say 88?

Yeah, your turn. Yeah. Yeah. 88.

Oh, Final thought. I don't mind saying that it was getting a bit annoyed by Habano's essay after smoking mostly ERs for the last month or so. That's not Chris and E. Rose, it's just ERs.

And finding almost nothing more than average to below average profiles. Thankfully, the H. Upman Royal Robusto has reinstated my faith with a profile that extremely smooth, wonderfully complex, great finish and excellent construction. The burn in the first third notwithstanding.

They are great to smoke now, and if you can find some, I would not hesitate to try one or more immediately. It puts them down to age as well, as they will only get better, in my opinion. One of the best limited Cuban releases I've smoked in quite a while. Wow.

92. Fucked you up on your day. Let's go. 90.

Ninety, Ninety-two. Oh, sorry, Ninety-two. Sorry, my wife's plane's being delayed. Ninety-two.

Ninety-two on the nose! Ninety-two on the nose! Oh! Ah!

Oh, man. That thing's really full today. Okay. You know, I didn't fill it up.

I almost needed it. Woo! All right, second cigar. So, Greg, I've already nailed one off the gauge.

You did. You did. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

March 11th, 2026, Charlie Minato Cigars, Dominican Republic Review, the Tradecraft Vitruvian. The what? Tradecraft Vitruvian. What year was this?

This had to be recent. On more, 2026, March 11th. 'Cause this has recently came out, this guy sounds, he makes every, he says a bunch of comments that sound identical to Skip, which is kind of creepy, but... Oh, this is the guy, the Tradecraft Vitruvian.

Yeah. I just like the name Vitruvian. But his cigars are made in the DR, and he's tied with Tinderbox. Okay.

Got it. These are the things that you should know. Tradecraft. See, cigar industry news, Greg.

Here you go. Don't worry. That is the sort of thing I'm talking about. Skip says one thing.

The next week, this guy says the same thing. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly.

Allegedly. Allegedly. Got it. Sometimes he holds up a picture, Skip, in front of you.

Or a Muppet. Skip Muppet. Skip Muppet. Oh, I know Tradecraft.

It's all about the tobacco. It's all about the tobacco. I like the tobacco. It's a craft.

It's all about the craft. I highly recommend. Oh, does he throw around the word craft? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. It's called Tradecraft. Tradecraft. Yeah.

Skip will not like that. And the guy's name is actually Rip Tartan. Rip Tartan? Yeah.

Yeah. So it's Rip-O-Craft. Rip-O-Craft? Yeah.

Wow. Rip Tartan. I mean, that's a great name. It's kind of like Skip Martin, but Rip Tartan.

This is wild. Oh, I didn't catch that connection. Oh my god, you guys are both very slow today. Oh my goodness.

I'm looking for two new people to be on this podcast with me, if anyone's available. Oh, look at you. That's not nice. I could be doing other things.

That's a lie. No, I have things to do. Super busy. Super busy.

Super busy. I have to book my reservations for my next trip. For my next meal. For my next 12 course meal.

Mio. Did you guys give scores at all? No, no, it's just shit talking at this point. 84.

I'm going to go 84. 84. 85. 85.

I'm going 86. Cigar reviewed the Vitruvian, country of origin, Dominican Republic, factory. I thought it was something funny. Nika, Nika Dreams, Nika Dreams, Nika Dreams, Dominican Dreams.

- Dominican, Dominican Sueño. - Dominican Sueño. - Rapper, Ecuador, Connecticut Seed, Binder, Ecuador, Sumatra Seed, Filler, Dominican Republic, Corojo, Secco, and Criollo 98, Secco, Ecuador, Viso, and Nicaraguan Jalapa. - Wow, there's a lot in that cigar.

- A lot of tobacco. - There is a lot in that cigar. 50, and they smoked three cigars. He's working with a guy, his name is Hyler Efri, by the way.

He's got a great idea of making this all secco. Yeah, he's a younger kid, he's a younger kid, he loves the tobacco, very passionate. Oh my God. He gave you a cute little Hispanic-looking girl.

Very tall. They call him Daddy Grande. Yeah, they call him Papa Grande. '84.

'85. The Vitruvian certainly deserves praise for his presentation. Uh-oh. The wrapper sounds gorgeous with a silky texture, subtle sheen, and clean appearance that gives the cigar an upscale feel.

The ash formation was impressive, and the ability to smoke the cigar slowly without it going out is always appreciated by those who prefer a relaxed pace. " Yeah, I'm gonna go down some too, 82. I'm going up to 88. Even though the mouth flavors struggle, the Retro Hill seems to have offered some generally interesting complexity, notes of black tea, leather, roasted meat, nuts, And citrus provide moments of depth and uniqueness that hint at the blend's potential.

There are flashes here that suggest a cigar could even involve it in something special with further refinement. The mailman that delivered it was awfully kind to me when he presented it with the cigars. He's a very sweet man, very sweet. I'm going to eek up here to 82.

84. He still has no idea, is what is happening, is he's just staying around wherever I go. He's not even listening. It's like, I don't even know what you're saying, Paul.

Unfortunately, consistency appears to be the Vitruvian's biggest weakness. The flavor profile was plagued by dry, sharp, and occasionally metallic notes that became more pronounced as the cigar progressed. Construction varied from sample to sample, with tight draws, declining smoke production, and multiple touch-ups needed. While there were moments of intrigue, the cigars seemed to be a blend that still needs considerable dialing in before it can truly shine.

What was the moment of intrigue? Like, I don't understand what's going on with the cigar. I'm intrigued. He realized the name sounded very familiar.

Treadcraft. Rip Tartan. Rip Tartan, I've never heard of Rip, from like Dutton Ranch, Rip? No.

79. Oh, that's where I was going to go. Oh, I bet it was. Oh my god, yeah.

Exactly what I was going to say. Oh, that's the same number. Well, I can't be close to my brother because that just doesn't make any sense. 80.

You can do the same score. You got one more try to change. I'm going to go 80 this time. Yeah, I'm going to go with 79.

Final thoughts. When I first started smoking cigars, I found a lot more cigars that tasted like these three Vitruvians. While I'm sure... We're Romagraph.

Oh, I'm sorry. While I'm sure more of these cigars exist these days, I've rarely experienced them. Plain and simple, the flavor profile is just not up to the standards of the modern cigar market. Oh, he's so nice to this guy.

I mean, you must know him. Even at its best, it needed more flavors, but most of the time, it was too dry and too harsh. That was the end, huh? No, that's the last one right there.

Final kind of clue. 77. I was going to go there. I was going to pick 77.

what do i do now i can't say the same thing as my brother you could say the same thing maybe we both win this time but you're still gonna lose no it's okay if you win it's okay you're you're better at this than i am i am you are you're right i'm better than most at this all right i'm gonna go 76 and he said 77 yes you went the wrong way oh 82 82 after all that you know that's some That doesn't make any fuckin' sense. That's what the SBC got. You know what, Charlie, that's it. I'm sending you a cow shit in the mail.

Let's, uh, we've drawn the line here. You're getting a glitter bomb after that one. You know? But guess what?

Ah! Boom. Back to back. Just like that.

Just like that. All right, that's it, I got nothing else? Just like that, just like that. Okay, well, hey, Greg.

Yeah. It's always a pleasure to have you on the show. Hey, happy to be here. Thank you so much.

Once you finally woke up, started talking, it was nice. Yeah, it was good, and we finally brought you in. Thank you very much. I'm sure that our commenters below on tomorrow's episode will give us a distinct review as to your performance.

Yeah, hopefully they're all gonna defend me. I mean, just sitting here being beaten up by you. It's gonna be mixed. Yeah, it's gonna be mixed.

It'll be a mixed bag. It's going to be mixed. It's going to be about 50/50. 50/50.

Yeah. Like and subscribe, we're reviewing and listening to the show. com for all of your chpod swag. We appreciate you supporting and we make some really cool things for you to purchase.

com, a Cigar Hustlers podcast where we review cigars. We talk surprisingly even more shit than what we just did on this show. Hard to believe. Yeah, I know.

I know. It's true, but it does exist. It's a thing. And we're constantly under supervision by Jack Taragno, You know who likes to complain if he feels like we did subpar performance, so check that out, and like, subscribe, thank you so much for your time, we hope we provided good edutainment for you today, and every weekday, and that's it, that's all I got.

Palmer? All right, guys, thanks, we gotta go, bye.

Show Notes

On todays show M&M is making changes ,  we have a story update from England, American Airlines Coffee, Tea or Bit by a fellow traveler?  Ranch is now the biggest thing in World Cup! Then in cigars we’ve got a fish, a French Goldie and Liberty Camacho then a double up of what’s the score \