Cigar Hustlers Podcast 201 Mikey Tells lies
Transcript
" It's true. I'm gonna keep the drop. No, it's not true. She got the drop.
She got the drop. She got the drop. Welcome to episode 201 of the Cigar Hustler Podcast. Oh, you turned it down.
Turn it down so I can talk. Oh. Let me turn it back up. With our surprise guest.
Uh, 200th episode. 201. Now, so, the emasculation fucking episode. Great.
We're going to go over all your inaccuracies, Michael, for the last two hundred episodes. Oh, perfect. We ain't got that kind of time. We'll just hit the highlights.
Oh, I left the thing out there. I'm so nervous. You're going to be watching yourself later on this week. I may not watch.
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com. And please remember to rate, comment, and subscribe. I'll tell you what, man, we had a great podcast last one. We got a lot of good feedback.
There's so many comments, we can't read them. The Provada people did a lot of listening. A lot of industry people, too, though. You know, a lot of industry people were very...
Apparently, Fred Rui is a fan of the show, because he contacted me to see what video we were talking about on the show, so he watched it not knowing what it was going to be about. Oh. He wanted to see Brian's video. Ah.
Oh, the, uh. The first video that he came on to say, I'm sorry. The meltdown episode. Yes.
So I had to send Fred a link to the video. Very nice. Apparently Fred can't just go. Yeah, it was good, you know, we got to provide some clarity to the cigar industry.
We're just here, you know. We're just spreading, spreading, spreading joy and love and. Yes. Yes.
I got, I got bumped. You got bumped. Yes, yes, Brittany. Poor Brittany got bumped.
I mean, I had kids picked up, you know, ready to go. You know, ready to go, but it's fun. That's cool. She had, yeah, she had rearranged pickups and everything.
Huh. And look at you now. We were panicking with Mika's car trouble. You know, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta adjust.
So much was going on. You know, it's just a, it's a, it's an audible life we're living. You know, you just gotta make modifications as we go. Yeah, it's so easy.
Three kids, it doesn't matter. Yeah, it doesn't matter. That's all sorts of free time. Yeah.
And then you laughed at her today when she said she had something to do. Yeah. Yeah, that was, like laughed right in my face. Left right in her face.
Yeah. Left right in her face. I did. Yeah.
I laughed in her face. I wasn't laughing at her. No, no, yeah. It was like, what do you have to do?
Yeah, apparently you got time for a podcast. What do you have to do? No, no, no. She's here to kind of screw around, huh?
She's here to emasculate your husband. I haven't even said anything. Nothing yet. Yeah, but you're geared up.
I could tell. I told the kids, I was like, come on guys, we got a whole lot and nothing to do today. I just want you to know, depending on how this goes, I'm going to fuck you up. Just let me know.
My wife won't come on the show. I don't care. Oh, it'll be worse than that, believe me. It'll be much worse.
You gotta think these things all the way through, Palmer. Nah, what are you gonna do, fuck with my butts and pants? Oh, yes, I am. So, we, as a family, went to Universal this weekend, which was, I wasn't going to go into the details of the chaos of all of it, Brittany.
No, no, chaos. People went through chaos. Nobody cares that you went. There was one specific thing that went down.
Did you get another fight? There was one specific thing that went down that was really kind of funny that I don't even think you really picked up on until I brought it up on the patio in conversation. So we went to the Grinch show, and it's kind of an annual thing for us at this point, right? We do it like every year.
But this is the first year that Teddy could really kind of go. Oh, that's right, yeah. Comprehend what was going on. Yes, exactly.
So here's what's really, really funny. There's a dog. That, you know, is on the show. Oh, in the, yeah, yeah, Grinch's little dog.
" It's so cute, it's so cute, like, yeah, that's right, yeah, Escobar, you know, is coming later, so, so that, I got a huge kick out of that, that was pretty remarkable, yeah, and that was all that, that's all that happened that day, that's all that happened that day, that was a great day, that's all that happened, okay, now we've had your version, now let's get Brittany's version of what happened that day, okay, we gotta, why, so, why are we doing this, so, I, it's fun for me, Mike, sorry, so, He likes to do like family things, you know, on the weekends, you know, whatever. So I try my hardest to get everything done throughout the week, grocery shopping and all that, so that way we have open time, right? I'm just gonna leave. Be quiet over there.
So I went to the football game last night. Be quiet, I'm just turning your mic off. We woke up, we woke up late, Saturday morning, had to go to Costco because I needed to get stuff for Sunday because we celebrated Mika's 21st and Wrigley's 7th birthday. She'll give you the full detail, play-by-play.
The last time we were supposed to go to Costco, we skipped Costco. We're setting up the spin-off. I'm Brittany, this is my life. My name is Brittany, and this is my life.
Yeah. Okay. Mikey wants to go to Universal. I was like, well, we're hungry, you know, whatever.
Well, what about cowfish? Yeah. Well, now I already know he wants to go to Universal. The biggest mistake I've ever made in my life.
Cowfish. That's where he wants to go. It's a restaurant, I guess. Yeah, that's where we all went down.
Let me finish. He never lets me finish. Let her talk, Michael. I'll turn your microphone off.
We get down there to Valet, and I don't have the tickets, so now I'm already like, oh great, like that's my fuck up because I'm in charge of the tickets, and I forgot, so now I'm like, do we go back, he's like, no, I'm not, and I know his tone, you know, he was irritated, he's irritated, no, it's, I'm not, we're not gonna drive back and then come back, and I know you, there was a tone. I wasn't mad at you. It was just a little tone there. There is a tone, there's a tone.
But then we're walking around, we get in, he, they print out passes for us, we're walking around city walk. Our reservation's like 45 minutes. I said, I checked in. Yeah.
You have a question? No, no. I'm agreeing. Yes.
Please go on. So I check in and I'm like, okay, usually they call us in like 10 minutes. So why go into the park? Like what happened to us last time?
Let's just walk around. So we're walking around. In the past when we did it, we, they said, okay, well, you checked in and we went into the park and then we had turned right back around. Exactly.
Yeah, that's not how this one went down. So, no, it didn't actually. So, oh, you know what we did that morning? I mean, we were up at seven, because Madison had a gymnastics meet, so we were there for three hours in the gym, and Teddy is, she's very cute, but she's very mean.
She doesn't like to do anything. Have you ever done a gymnast, uh, have you ever had a kid? No. It's, um, oh my God.
Have you ever gone to a track meet? Yes. Okay, it's like that, but inside. It's like that, yeah.
The only difference, the only difference is like, they play this floor music for them to do a routine, and they all have the same floor music. It becomes borderline like waterboarding, because they all do the same thing, and there's like five teams, but we're here to see one kid on one team. It's like, holy shit. And it's like a 20-second, she's up there for 20 seconds, and then it's another hour, and then she's up for 20 seconds.
Yeah, but you got to go on support, right? Of course. So, Teddy doesn't nap, she falls asleep in the car for five minutes, made the mistake of going home before heading down to Universal, thinking she was going to lay down for a nap. Didn't happen.
But Mikey got to take like a 20 minute nap. I was very nice. That's good. You can go ahead and close your eyes.
I covered him with a blanket. He looked very peaceful. I even said to him, you know what? I'm going to take the kids to Costco.
You could stay here and nap. Oh, she's so good to you. Oh, she is. She's great to me.
So we get up. No, no, no. We'll go to Costco. So I said, you know what?
Don't worry about Costco. I'll go tomorrow. Let's just head down there. Let's just go.
It'll be fine. Fast forward. We're there. I tell you, we're in the park.
He starts to have meltdown. She doesn't want to be in the stroller. So he's walking around, walking around. Now we're waiting the full 45 fucking minutes before our reservation.
There was no early time. How early this time? Nope, nope. So here we are, you know, he's getting irritated.
We could have gone in. We could have gone in, which was another tone I got from him. You know, I felt it. He was a little irritated.
We could have got the crepes. Okay. Anyways, I'm just saying. We need to continue.
They call us in. We go up there. Teddy is screaming bloody murder. I mean, high pitch, and he doesn't fucking care.
He'll just sit with there on his lap like this, like, you know, like she's not screaming. He doesn't care about people around. Like, let me take her. That is a true statement.
Yeah, he just completely zones out. So I'm like, let me take her. It's not that I zone out. I don't care.
You zone out. I don't care. I could see in your eyes zone out. Same thing, Michael.
So 15-20 minutes now, I'm standing in the stairway, and he could hear her from the table, she's screaming that loud, she's hyperventilating, I could not calm her down, she just kept saying, walk, walk, walk, and then burger, burger, burger, but didn't want to go to the table, so every time I try to get closer to the table, she screamed even more. I thought I was going to have to find a medic because she was going to pass out, right? I'm sweating. So he calls me.
I was like, look, he goes, I ordered Brussels sprouts. I love Brussels sprouts. They're really good. Yeah, they are very good.
So, he calls me and he's like, well, I ordered the Brussels sprouts. I got you a blue moon, you know, whatever. I said, okay. He says, I'll save you some Brussels sprouts.
I said, just go ahead and order, pack my food up and I'll just eat it when you come down. Now I had not eaten the whole day, so I'm starving, starving, and he knows this, he knows this. You had a little bit of a pretzel? I had two fucking bites of the pretzel, because we split a pretzel between the five of us.
Listen, I know it's coming, so I'm just, you know, I'm doing my best over here. Go ahead. So, I'm stressed out, starving. I finally get her, she falls asleep in the bottom of the stroller, she's out cold.
I push the stroller upstairs to the table. I sit down. There's not one fucking brussel sprout. You didn't save me?
I was originally, I had the intentions of saving me. He looks at me, he goes, I just, I couldn't control myself. I'm like, are you fucked, like, Michael. I know.
And I was so irritated and I was so starving. I just, my tears, because when I get really mad, I start crying. And I'm sitting there and I'm like, you just fucking ate all. All I wanted was a goddamn brussel sprout.
You couldn't even save me one. Yeah, I blew that. Wow. I mean, it was...
You should have her on every week. It was... It was... It was bad.
It lasted the entire day. Aw. 'Cause then, you know, he gets... He gets defensive...
Right. when he's wrong. Right. So then he lashes at you, and he tries to turn it and make it like it's your fault.
Oh, my God. Well, I have trigger words. You said trigger words. I...
" Just fucking change it. You said you're tired of me being sorry. Well, I am. We just had a conversation the night before.
I will no longer be sorry. No. Just work on it. Just change it.
I know. Don't be sorry. I mean, like... Are you happy?
I'm very happy. Okay. I mean, like, what if your employees, they keep fucking up. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. You're just going to keep them. You're not going to fire them. It's true.
It's true. You want to talk about 4:30 in the morning when we were trying to go to bed last night? You're sick. You want to bring that up?
Please. Brittany. Please, go ahead. Oh, what's up?
We have time to kill. Don't you dare. Mm-hmm. Michael.
You want to, you know, you want to throw it all out there. I was just explaining our Saturday. Yeah, well, I was about to explain our Monday, Tuesday morning, or our Monday morning. It was late.
You want to explain that one, too? Don't want you to explain it, my friend. Yeah? Just a little bit.
It's the lights. Oh, you're blushing. I'm not blushing. No, no, please.
Go ahead, Michael. No, no, no, we're good. We're fine. We're fine.
Oh, okay, just making sure. Remember that weekend I went away and he was home the whole weekend with the kids? He carried it all by himself. Yeah, no, that was, that was not true.
He had a lot of help. Oh, you wanted to bring that up. No, I was just, you know. I just wanted to think.
It was just something I thought of. Oh, okay. I just wanted to make sure because, you know, I could go into detail about, you know. You should go into detail.
No, no, no. No, I just kind of put my card on the table. That was before you told me you laughed in my face about what I had to do today. I did not laugh in your face.
That's not how it went down. I was like, wow, that's hurtful. That's not how that went down at all. I mean, I don't have your kids.
Yeah. I know. Thanksgiving dinner. Nobody has to worry about that.
You got a lot going on. She's very busy. She is very busy. She's actually very busy.
She's very busy. You should not have laughed at her. That's not nice. Yeah, I shouldn't have.
You laugh at me all the time. Hurtful. Hurtful. Yeah.
So, are you also an attorney? Are you filing the divorce papers? No, no, no. You're going to be the therapist, you're going to be the preacher, you're going to be, you know...
Right, I handle everything, start to finish. Yeah, it's nice. Okay, it's recording, but it's not connected, so I have no idea what's going on with the camera. So what else you got?
Nothing. That's it? That's it, what else? There was more.
Oh, Mr. Palmer's really, you know... Go ahead. What?
No? I mean, there's always something. There's always something. There's usually something every week.
Yeah. Oh my God, there's something every day. Last time, with the snake, he laughed at me in my face, 'cause the snake was this big? Yeah.
I guess we got into an argument Friday night a little bit, 'cause it doesn't answer my texts. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he does that to me, too. Like, you know, like he did to you today.
I'm on my way, and he would text me, he was on his way. " I just laughed. He's literally not even in his car. I was on my way.
No, you were in the house. Yeah. A little late. Mm-hmm.
Yeah. A little late. Got me crying. Tears.
Of excitement? Like laughter? A little bit of both. Like you told me last night that I make you cry.
Mixed emotions? Yeah, you make me cry. Aw. In pain.
It's a little too personal. It's a pain thing. It's a pain thing. I don't know.
What else is there? Why don't you just tell a story and then she'll correct it? I don't have any other stories. What are any other stories?
No stories? No. I have nothing to say. Come on.
I have nothing to say. All right. I mean, I went to the football game yesterday. That was cool.
Not me. I never get asked to go to the football game. I just get left at home with the kids. That is not true.
Yeah. Never asked. He took two of them with him. First of all.
Just the one. The older one, not the two ones. Oh, I saw the little one in the photo, too. No, the middle one doesn't stop talking.
The middle one doesn't stop talking. Talks the whole way here. He's awesome. Just to clarify, you're the one that set up the whole Monday Night Football thing.
I mean, you don't always have to take Jacks. What's that? You don't always have to take Jacks. " Yeah.
I think I said maybe the fourth one you had it on. You definitely, you, yeah. It doesn't matter, I'm never invited, so. You're never invited, huh?
Okay. To the football games. Now I feel awkward. You're always, you've gone to many of the games, what are you talking about?
I think one, two. I've gone to two. You've gone to two? Mm-hmm.
Okay, so how many have I gone to, three? This season. This season, I've gone to two. One was in New England.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you didn't ask Kurt to go to New England. No, no.
Hey, this is what I want to do with Jacks. You stay here with the other two. That's not how that went out. You stay here and do nothing.
So let me tell you about 4:30 in the morning, Mr. Palmer. What? Oh, what?
Are you still recording? Don't you dare. Trying to go to sleep. Drove, hour and a half, two hours, nothing but traffic on that I-4.
Lane closures and all this other bullshit. Oh, I-4 is terrible. It took us like four hours to get there, almost. It took us three hours to get to Tampa.
Did it really? We're going to Tampa tomorrow. Yeah, we left at four, we got there at seven. You didn't leave at four.
We left at four. We left at 4:30. Okay, we left at 4:15. It was 4:30.
I wanna say 4:16. For fuck's sake. That's still two and a half hours for an hour and a half ride. Yeah.
4:30, Mr. Palmer. 4:30, Mr. Palmer.
But the game was great. Yeah, good game, was it? Did they win? Oh, yeah, they crushed.
Oh, good. They crushed. It was the first game that we had gone to where it wasn't close. They tied at one point.
They tied? Well, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Oh, at the beginning of the game? 0-0?
Yeah. 10-10. First quarter. Oh, I gotcha.
No, the Giants are a mess. That's kind of curious. really kind of curious about what Coop's got to say because he made a comment about Mac Jones and blah blah blah blah. Mac Jones?
Yeah. The Patriots guy. I couldn't see. I couldn't find the post though.
Oh. Like I tried rifling through. See in South Florida? I don't know.
A lot of posts about things that are closed. Closed? Closed. Yeah like what?
Pictures of restaurants and things that are closed or something. Oh. I have no idea. I don't know either.
Hmm. Very interesting. Is that a hole for your thumb? Yes.
I like that. Thank you. Thank you very much. A thumb hole.
Thumb hole. Keep your palms warm? Uh, no, no sunburn. It's one of those shirts.
It's a water shirt thing. Oh. Very nice. But it's wintertime, so it's layering.
It's cold. Right. 63 up. Wow.
So what's going on with you? Uh, nothing. Yeah? Nothing as exciting as your life.
My life is very exciting. You're a very busy man. Very busy man. Very busy man.
Very busy. Yeah, so busy I can laugh at her. Super busy. Because, you know, mm-hmm.
Because that's how that went down. I came up to get the drops. He said to me out there, he's like, you didn't, huh, I bring home the drops. I couldn't ask you to bring home the drops.
You're very busy. You came for the podcast. Yeah. Why else would I come?
For the podcast. For the drops. Yeah. Get all the paperwork.
Super busy. Yep. No, I don't do anything. No, I made him.
Oh, yeah. Never said that you didn't do anything. He had to do it. I did not end to it.
I hope you guys are enjoying it. So we woke up Monday morning. Just tell the story already. Stop teasing.
You're not going to. And we're getting ready. Michael Joseph. Brittany Danielle.
Don't you fucking dare. Brittany Danielle. I will burn you with my smoke. Are you smoking right now?
No, not yet. No, not yet. No, so... What, did you get me later?
Ah! On the patio? You're not looking. You're not looking.
Nuded! He's gonna be sitting there, I'm like... That was for earlier. That was for earlier.
Asshole. So, where were we at on time? 20 minutes. We gotta do a commercial today.
We do have a commercial. Yes, we have another commercial. Mm-hmm. Fifi.
Fifi. Fifi, lighter and cutter. Fifi, lighter and cutter. Ah.
Fancy. We have a nice video to overlay again, too. Oh. Oh yeah.
Zeefee. Zeefee. Zeefee. Zeefee.
Zeefee. I don't know exactly how you say it. Zeefee. So you have anything else to add?
Do you at least love your husband? I am. Yeah. Yeah.
Kind of, baby. " Yeah. He's broken. Wow.
I am broken. You are. I got a lot going on. You tripped me today with his big toe that's broken.
Oh, the broken toe? Is it still broken? I can't bend it. Yeah, it's broken.
He doesn't take care of it. Can't bend it at all? Yeah, and it still hurts. He didn't take care of it.
No, yeah, he didn't wear the boot long enough. He didn't even tape it. He doesn't ice it. He don't do shit.
That's true. Maybe kick it again and re-break it and then you can bend it. Oh, maybe. You want me to ice it?
I'll ice it. No. It's already set. It's set solid.
It's set solid? The bone is already set. Is that how that works? Yes.
Set solid. It's a medical term. I think I've heard of that. Yeah.
The set solid, it's a thing. We have a friend who is a foot doctor, and he used that term. Did he? Yeah, at the football game one time.
" Oh, there you go. That's what he said. I believe it. We actually do have a friend that's a foot doctor.
We're all covered medical stuff here all over the place. But he's never said anything about set solid. That's not true. Maybe she was talking to Brittany.
Yeah. Yeah, it's possible. Because you were yelling at people. Yeah.
Alright. So she's saying you gotta go to practice. Which is always fun. I'm gonna take a little break!
So, yeah. Is she staying for the news as well? Oh, she's welcome to stay for the news? Is she staying for the whole shebang?
Uh, no, probably not. I gotta... She's very busy. Very busy.
No, no, I have to... What are you... What could you possibly have to do? I gotta get out here and do nothing.
Go home. You know, make sure his laundry's done. Floors are clean. We had lunch.
I got you the thing for the floors. So you don't have a vacuum. Did you already give her those? What?
Did you already give her the things? Oh yeah. My staff? Yes.
Alfred and Alice? So it showed up in the Amazon package in the front door. I knew what it was. I know what it is.
Why can't I just have it now? You wanted that, what was it, the Patriots sweater? The Buck sweater. The Buck sweater.
He ordered it. He's like, oh, I'll do this for Christmas. He's fucking wearing it. Well, if you can wear a sweater, why can't I have Alfred and Alice?
So yeah, so she got the room. And it's really just to help you. Because usually your thing, I leave with the kids in the morning. Whoa, whoa.
Hold on, this is gonna be quick. This is true. I leave with the kids in the morning. And because, well, before our dogs died, they were really bad.
Rest in peace. The man's dying. Yeah, for the complete knowledge. Not a good year for dogs.
No, not at all. No, not at all. Mikey would vacuum every morning, because I'm allergic to the dogs. Yeah, we got another German shepherd coming on the way, which is cool.
But it's okay, I get allergy shots now. Bubbles. Whatever Mikey wants. Whatever Mikey wants.
It'll be much cuter if Teddy yells bubbles when she sees dogs. Bubbles! Bubbles! And then Chapo!
Chapo! Chapo! Come on, me and drug lord! I'm Mexican.
Mexican. Get it right. Sorry. Anyway.
So he would, I would leave with the kids in the morning. Right, he would vacuum the floors and clean up. He would vacuum because the dogs, you know, so. Right, so you didn't have to.
I just wanted the house to look nice for her when she walked. That's very nice. So instead of him vacuuming, he bought me the Roomba for him to press the button in the morning. Oh.
You don't have it hooked up to the Alexa? Not yet. We can do that, though. I think we can.
Yeah. But sometimes it goes off, like yesterday, it couldn't connect, and then I realized that there was an entire phone charger wrapped up in it. Oh. Oh, yeah.
We have that problem, too, at the house. He just stopped and went back home. Oh, ours just goes off there and every once in a while you hear: "Error. Help.
" Oh, this is help. This is help. Yeah, help. Do you get a notification on your phone?
No. Oh. Adrian's got the app on her phone. Oh.
Yeah, ours sends the, uh... Yeah, you say, like, Alexa Start Sweeper and then it sends it out. Oh, we should link that. What's cool is when...
" "No, no, no, no! I'm keeping it! No, no! " So, yeah, you gotta come up with a better word when you want it to go back.
I, uh, well, what's cool is when it docks, the mop comes out and mops. Oh, automatically? Yeah, well, you can add the option when you set it and say mop. Oh, after sweep, it mops right now.
How much fluid does it hold? Enough to mop. Everything? Yeah.
Well, it doesn't mop the whole, I mean, it just mops, like, the common areas, like, 'cause it doesn't go into any of the bedrooms. Yeah, oh. 'Cause we have gates. Yeah, but, you know, it makes the house smell nice and, you know, fresh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fresh and... For, you know... We should start it right now.
What? You didn't start it today. No, I had to get out of the house. Me too.
You laid me sleep in. Start it on your phone. Yeah, I can do it right now. Hit the button.
If it's full. It is. It'll be jam, though. 'Cause we didn't...
I didn't, like, pull up the curtain. You didn't pick up everything? Yeah. Yeah, dog toys and all that stuff.
Yeah. Man, the one that we got at home, she never helps. Yeah. She just steps over it.
Mika! It's like... Hey, that thing's stuck over here. somebody here's the Roomba up on a dog toy and she's just like well it's kind of fun because like she lost her keys to her car yeah she lost her keys to her car she lost her keys to her job the Roomba have it?
no that would be amazing if the Roomba had it if the Roomba sucked up her keys and fucking spit them out I have your keys it's not possible no cause there's a she's got a mace oh yeah yeah Pepper spray. Pepper spray on it, which is scary enough. Roomba can spray you with that. Yeah, but it's very scary when Mika has one because she'll probably spray herself.
Would you like a lighter? I would. Please have that. She lost our garage door opener.
Oh, wow, everything. It's a full-time gig. Oh, so now we're just ganging up on Mika now. No, no, no, no, no.
She doesn't want to talk about Mika. She went out one night and I'm like, "Just, you know, make sure, don't let anybody buy you drinks. " And then the bitch loses the garage door opener she can't find for days, her car overheats down on John Young Parkway, which was fine, then she loses her keys. I don't hesitate, let's go, we gotta go, that's it.
They gotta be in her room somewhere. They what? They've gotta be in her room somewhere. Oh, they ain't in the house.
So, I told her she's got to get like a couple keys made of each, and we'll just put them up high, she can't reach it, so that way when she's- Some backups, some spare ones, spare ones laying about, she is, she needs a palmer is what she needs. I was gonna say, I'll just come over and find them. Yeah, where are my keys? I said to her, I was like, in her room, Sunday morning, I'm like, well, where's your spare?
Oh, it's on the keychain. That's right. Oh, that's a good idea. That makes total sense.
That makes total sense. Yeah. " It's very possible. Maybe.
It would be funny to see his little face up on the camera. He's out there making it. Hey, I need help in here. All right.
All right. Well, Brittany. Thank you, Brittany. Thank you very much for coming on for episode 200.
It was a lot of fun for me. I apologize again for the Brussels sprouts, and I will be better. I will be better for you. I've heard that a couple times, too.
You can get Brussels sprouts on the way home at the place by the house. No, it doesn't matter. Which one? The bar place.
We went and got food that night. They took them off. They took them off. Oh.
Those are the best brussels sprouts. Now I got to go all the way to Universal and I was so excited for them. Oh. Sanford Brewing has good brussels sprouts too.
Do they? With bacon and stuff on them. Oh. Like a sweet sauce?
You know. Kinda, yeah. I think so. What was worse about that day, real quick, is the server didn't even take the empty plate of brussels sprouts away.
It just sat there on the table the entire time we were there. I'm just mocking you. You're looking at the sauce and the crumbs. We waited forever for our food, too.
It was not, it was not a pleasant experience. Teddy's came out, he's like, eat her burger. Poor thing, you're sitting there waiting for food while she's in the stairwell with the baby. Yeah.
Yeah, you had a long wait. Yeah, poor me. Oh, poor you. He was good.
He had a whole plate of Brussels sprouts. Oh, yeah, you were fine. I had a beer for her waiting, too, Blue Moon. Did you drink that?
Yeah, it was a little light, actually. It wasn't full. I took a couple sips. I had to wash down the Brussels sprouts.
Yeah, the Brussels are very spicy. Oh, I can't win. You know, it's hard to be expected. And then her father came into town on Sunday.
And we watched football. Yeah. And we celebrated birthdays. A couple of cannonballs, not cannonballs, the cannon.
Yeah, you have started a thing in the house now. I am not letting up on this. And Brittany has, you know, with all the hard work that she does, That's all the hard work that she does. She actually managed-- I don't do shit.
She actually managed to find the best value place to obtain said canons. Oh, yeah. So now we have them in bulk. Oh.
Yes. I bought them at Party City at first. Right. And then I went next door to Hobby Lobby.
And I called them. I was like, they're a little bit cheaper, and we can get more. Yeah. And I had to go return the other one when I was embarrassed.
I hate returning shit. Oh, my husband just called. He already bought them. I'm so sorry.
I didn't want to say I found them cheaper at next door. Right. So Hobby Lobby's got them, huh? Lobby Lobby.
Oh, good to know. Two for six dollars? Oh, three bucks a piece. That's pretty good.
Yeah. I was just fucking going to town. Because Mika's birthday, we hit her again, and then we had Wrigley hit him too. So, it's nice.
I was thinking about doing it to you in the shower while you're showering. If we start doing this. Have you seen the couple on TikTok? Yes.
I'll start TikTokin' this shit. Last night, I saw one. He hit her with the balloon. Now he's doing the balloon full of shaving cream or whatever that white stuff is full of.
Oh, yes. It was all over the couch, the floor, the table. Yeah, I mean, who wants to clean this mess up? You gotta, you, well, you gotta take it up a notch.
Can I use this? Of course. No, no, no, go ahead. You can use whatever you want.
Do you want me to ash like he usually does? No, please don't. This is your kingdom. No, no, no.
Yeah, no. No, no. Those people have to be cleaning 24/7. I'm sure they have maids now at this point.
They have so many views and stuff. I guess. I don't know. That'd be nice.
But now he's incorporated Nerf. Yeah? Yeah. He like, the daughter threw the balloon in the air, he shoots it with a Nerf gun and it explodes over the mother's head.
That's nice. I would fucking kill you. " She would be watching you die. I get one I get to do.
We're gonna be on a podcast this recording this Saturday, I think it airs on Monday or something? It airs on Monday, yes. I'm still not sure what they do. What are you talking about?
Do I have to bone up on my music knowledge or something? Yeah. Do you want to talk about second albums that are better than the first? Oh, I'm gonna have nothing.
Well, now you have time to do your research. Yes. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
All right. All right. Well, hey, love you. Thank you very much for coming on.
Thank you for coming on. It was delightful. Please leave one of my balls here. Don't take them both in your purse when you go.
All right. All right. Good talk. Thank you.
All right. Bye. Commercial break. All right, this week's show brought to you by the Zifee Cigar Lighter, Cigar Puncher, Cigar Draw Enhancer, Cigar Stand, all in one lighter.
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Big window. Big window. You know what's really cool, sorry, what's really cool about this flame is it's a single flame, but it's a big single flame. It's a big single flame, it's right.
Yeah. That would be the super firepower, jet blue flame butane torch, windproof lighter, exquisite appearance, I believe that's a gunmetal finish. Oh, the stand's pretty cool too. Comes in this lovely gift box.
I'll just put my cigar right here. Put it in there by the lovely gift box. Oh, look at this lovely gift box. There'll be a video right here playing as always.
Let's see what else we got here. That is, you got all the different pieces. This is a badass lighter, man. Holy moly.
Pull out the thing on the bottom. What is this? Oh my goodness! It's a poker!
See, so when you guys buy subpar cigars, you can fix them. Or when you get down to the end of the cigar. Oh, you can hold it. Right.
And it's got, what's really cool is like the... It's a serrated. Yeah, it's got little teeth. they uh they thought of everything with this lighter punch on the bottom a little punch too i mean my goodness i feel like i need this i need this in my life that's mine you can't have this yeah you can have the humidor for next week no no no i want this one no no you know this is fancy that is very nice we'll leave it here as part of the set wow that's this is nice it is a very nice What's your slider?
com, or on Amazon. Ooh. Can I get it primed? I don't know where it was doing the shipping.
Oh, okay. I don't know if it's a prime. I want it tomorrow. You want it tomorrow?
This is beautiful. It is very nice. They really thought of a lot. They really covered a lot of things.
Everything's covered in that one thing there. Very nice. Again, that's a Zeefy Cigar Lighter, Cigar Punch, Cigar Draw Enhancer, Cigar Stand, all in one lighter. Check it out, man.
Thank you to the people at Zeefy. Buy one for Palmer. He's gonna need it. Oh, you son of a bitch.
Yes. That's what you get for putting my wife on the show. All right. Let's go to the news.
From the four corners of the world, all the cigar industry news you could possibly need. The Cigar Hustler Podcast Report, with Mike Szczepankiewicz. But for old people, old people, old people, oh very nice, for the first time in its history there will be a Roma Craft Tobac coming from a factory other than Fabrica Di Tappago Nicosueñese, and if one factory owner is going to choose another factory to make a cigar for their birthday, Ernesto Perez Carillo Jr. will likely be the top of many people's list, you know, top of my list.
It's definitely top of Skip's, I can tell you that much. Skip Martin of Robocraft Tobac is turning 50 years old next July, and the company's newest project will celebrate that. 50. Oh, so you're not supposed to end the sentence with a preposition, Charlie.
Celebrate that, period. Period. , company's newest project, are working on a cigar called, that name we can't say. I don't mean to nitpick, but you really shouldn't be commenting on anybody's grammar for anything, because you're the worst.
Of course. Just because I don't do the yours. No. You did a post on the Cigar Hustler page and you used two, like T-O-O, I think?
Two, like Elsa. But it wasn't supposed to be. Oh. I'll check.
I don't know. A Spanish term describes someone in their 50s and it will be a single-size release made at Perez-Carrillo in the Dominican Republic. It is expected to be a 5x50 Robusto size limited to 50,000 cigars. 50,000 really?
Yeah. Is that a small number? Is that a small number? How many?
50,000. Are you sure it's 50,000? It says right here, 50,000. Oh.
I don't know if that's accurate. I don't know if that's right. Maybe it is. Too many?
Not enough? We will both get phone calls. Let's see. Hold on.
I have this conversation. Let's do the math. There are 20 count boxes. Hold on.
We have a quote from Mr. Martin. Okay. Hold on.
50,000 divided by 20. I don't know if I can do his voice. It's 2,500 boxes. That's a decent number.
I don't think it's that big, to be honest. I think it was like 10,000 or something, but either way, you know, first of all, they're gonna be gone. Oh yeah, they're gonna sell them all. Yeah, 2,500 boxes ain't shit.
We will take them all, Skip. You know. Here. We will, yeah, we'll take, um, do you accept payments though?
Yeah, we need to make installments. Yeah. Can we spread it over several different credit cards? Can you do net 120, and then can they give you some decline cards that I won't answer when you call?
Oh, that'd be nice. Welcome to retail. Yes. Ernesto and I spent the week looking for and smoking tobacco's furthest project, said Martin on his Facebook page following our trip last week to the Dominican Republic.
Almost all were new to me, and more than a few were new to him as well. Oh, new tobacco to everybody. Throughout the process, we talked a lot, mostly me, and shared stories about our life, mostly Skip's life, our families about tobacco, about cigars, We're making our companies, our factories, our people. Yeah.
It was an amazingly productive week with an intensive exchange of ideas, and we barely scratched the surface. Yeah. You know, when I talked to Skip, it was a really cool experience for him. Oh.
You know, because for one, he's always, you know, he's always admired Ernie. Like, Ernie's been his guy. Right. So, you know, that's like, it's like having Tom Brady say, hey, you know, you wanna...
Hey, you wanna throw the ball around? I'm like, fuck yeah, I wanna throw the ball! Absolutely. A little different, because, I mean...
Yeah, I mean, I'm not a quarterback right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course, it's a little different, you know. Just a little bit.
But, yeah, he said, you know, it was fun, they were looking at unique tobaccos, and, you know, what's really cool is when you produce a small number like that, you know, even though it's, you know, you think 50,000 is a lot, in the grand scheme of things, it's not. No, no, it's not, right, you know. And his millions of cigars he makes every year. Yeah, it's easy to kind of maneuver around and find unique tobaccos that you can use.
Right. So I don't want to get ahead of myself and say Skip's story, but… Skip's story. Skip's story. It's… Oh, you know what?
Secret guest for 2202 is going to be Skip saying what you said wrong. We can have him call on the show next week, maybe, if you want him to talk about it at all. Oh, we can. Certainly.
I'd love to have Skip on the phone. We were talking about his clothing yesterday, him and I were a little text exchange. Oh, back and forth with some clothes. Yeah, well, he was showing his closet.
Oh. But the shoes he picked out and everything. He's got shoes now? Well, sandals, different types of different colors, you know, to match his black pants and black shirts.
Yeah, of course, you gotta keep it simple. Right. But yeah, so they got to make, you know, it looks pretty good what they're doing. I mean, very excited.
He may be making the best cigar that Ernie's ever made. Oh! Which I think is a fucking statement. Right.
Because the guy's been in the game for forever, right? And then when, you know, when you have somebody that's obsessed and fucking psychopathic as Skip, you know, breaking it down. Sometimes in a good way. You know, actually going in and looking at different tobaccos and really kind of focusing on stuff and making a number that's small enough where it can be anything you want it to be.
He's making three more trips. We should go. I think we'll just be there. Let's just, hey, oh, what are you doing here?
Hey, what a coincidence. Hey, we got an appointment with Ernie later tonight. Oh, you know Ernie too? That's so crazy.
So weird. Yeah, we're staying in his house. Staying in his house, right. I'll tell you what, the first time I met Ernie, I had no idea who the fuck he was.
Pete Hernandez introduced me to him. " Hi, Ernie. " Alright, I gotta go. " Hola, senor.
Yeah, hola. " My goal for the project is to make a truly Dominican cigar, but our kind of Dominican cigar. Yeah. And to absorb every drop of knowledge shared with me throughout the process, said Martin.
As of right now, we have identified the tobaccos we want to choose from, and the blending begins in earnest... Not Ernie, but in Ernie. Ernest. Ernesto.
So, we could join back up next year and see how the 10 to 12 tobaccos we've selected work together. Generally want us to produce the best cigar either of us have ever made, In the small production run, that is achievable goal. If we get anywhere close, it's going to be the best cigar ever made by anyone. Period.
And the process of arriving at the finish blend will have been a true collaboration. You know what's really kind of crazy? I've said what he said. What's...
I said what I said. I said what he said. That's what he said? Yes, at the end.
You know what's really kind of crazy is he might be right, man. This could be one of those things that it becomes... Only happens once in a lifetime. Yeah, and it becomes extremely sought after.
Very expensive. I mean, it should be very expensive. It should be very expensive. It's, you know, it's a big deal, right?
Like Eladio cigars. Yeah, Eladio. Eladio's birthday cigars, just like Eladio. Yeah, only better.
Only better, yes. It's a three-part project to celebrate the 50th birthday of his partner, Esteban Dizla Nicasueño and Michael Rosales of Romacraft. Oh, they're all three turning 50 in the same year? Well, no, at different times, they're going to make different ones.
Oh, oh. I'm kind of curious to see who Esteban wants to work with. Well, me. You aren't a factory or grower of tobacco.
" I'm just curious as to who he would want to roll with. Esteban. " That's got to be pretty cool. " I would have instantly said Ernesto, without question, right, I have no idea who the other two want to work with, you know, so it's going to be cool, this whole project is very exciting, and I really, really am looking forward to Skip Cigar, because I think, I think it's something that, you know, you need to, what'd you say, like you're going to sneeze, you, when you started talking, it looked like you were going to sneeze there for a minute, I think that it's, One of those things that, as a retailer, if you're a retailer and you're watching, and you're probably a Roma fan, you know that it's something that you're probably going to have to buy a little bit deeper on than what you would normally project.
Yeah, because they're going to be gone. Yeah, so you kind of, you want to, you want it there. Want it to have some. Yeah, because you're going to blast through a lot, and you would like to save some.
Somebody asked me if we had any fat patties with an onion left, I'm like, no, we don't have that. I know, we're retailers. Yeah, no, we like sell things. We hustle.
That's what we do. They go out there, bye-bye. From Fervada, this episode brought to you by Zifee Cigar, but if Fervada would like to do a next one, no, no, no, we don't do cigars, we don't do, it's a club, we don't do clubs, we could do clubs, I guess, I guess we could do a club, ah, see, Brian, give us a call, have your people email my people, and, well, you're an idiot, leave Brian alone, he's been through a lot the past week, yeah, I know, but we helped, he liked to really We pay the favor. No, man, he's a good guy.
I know he's a good guy. Yeah, come on. All right. This little celebrated his 50th birthday in 2024, Rosales in 2026.
Both will get cigars made by a factory other than Nick Asueno, though Martin said the decision about what those factories will has not been made. Too long we're talking about wrong. Did you see Rosales' date night? I saw the picture.
Yeah, the pictures. That's what I mean. I saw one picture of him. Yeah.
My date night, we go to like Chili's or something. Yeah, he's bougie. Yeah, his date night. You see the nice, beautiful suit he had on?
Oh, that was lovely. Lovely. Very handsome. That was Taylor.
That was Taylor. Oh, a fancy dinner and then the opera or something they went to? Oh, you know. Wow.
They went all out. No kidding. I made sure my wife did not see those photos. Block.
Block, block. Unfriend. Unfriend. Unfriend from Mike and Jamie.
Unfriend from Mike and Jamie. Like, holy crap. Yeah. I say date night, we're getting chicken wings.
Right. Yeah. Chicken wings are nice. Chicken wings are good.
Oh, we found a new chicken wing place. Well, actually, Boots showed me a new chicken wing place. That doesn't surprise me. Boots knows everywhere around here to eat, there's a place to eat, it's good, he knows, of course, he knows.
All right, STG is spending all that money, Michael. Oh, here we go. They've acquired Moderna O'Picciola San Diego Italiano. A'Picciola?
Yeah, I don't know how to say it. A'Picciola. It's Italian, I'm having enough trouble with Spanish, now I've got to start doing Italian, too. They bought an Italian company.
Scandinavian Tobacco Group has announced it has acquired a majority stake in Moderna, not the vaccine people. No. Fiorno, Opifiso Di Cigago Italiano, Mosey, let's call it Mosey, an Italian cigar company, they're just spending that money, yes they are, so it's not the airplanes they're buying, well you know they gotta cut taxes, they gotta have some shit on the fucking spreadsheet, oh hey we bought this, we bought this Italian people, yeah we're expanding, press release says that Mosey has 9% of the traditional machine rolled market in Italy, 9%? 9%, okay, Cesar, Petri, Nostradale.
Yeah. Founded Mosey in 2013. The company has 40 employees and produces cigars in Orsago, Italy. So it could have been that expensive.
They only have 40 employees. I don't know. That's like three hustlers. 9% of the market.
What's the gross? Who cares about the employees? We're excited. What's the EBITDA?
I want to know the EBITDA. Let's read on and see if we can find the EBITDA here. Let's see if we can determine the EBITDA. We're excited about this acquisition, said Juran Klepp.
Oh, we are excited about the acquisition? Oh, what is he German? He's German, yes. His last name is Klepp.
Mike's Clip. Oh, okay. Branded Division STG in the first release. Oh, how you got there.
With a majority stake in Mosey, we are growing modern cigar-making, grassmanship in a premium brand that will increase our offerings to our consumers and the opportunity to take further market share in an important market. Well, they just got a fucking influx of cash. This is our fifth acquisition since 2016. I look forward to further cementing a proven track record of degraded value for acquisitions of brands and businesses.
SDG should just buy Cigar Hustler. I mean, they need it. You should just acquire it. It's called acquiring.
They need to acquire it. In these realms, it's acquiring. I need them to acquire it like end of December next year when they need to show a big loss. Show a big loss.
$50, $60 million or something. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. We're shooting the moon.
Shooting the moon, yeah. Like, we have, well, we have four employees. We have the five. Five.
They count me, they're six. S. 4, the same price He said it opened earlier today. It did not affect any problems.
It's not really moving. It's not going anywhere. All right. Rojas Street Tobacco, watch City Exclusive debut later this month.
Okay. I only got this story because this is the, I think this is a cigar that ended in the relationship with the company between us and them. Rojas. The Street Tobacco, or Street Taco.
I don't know what you're talking about. Wasn't the Street Taco the one where the credit card was declined and then they didn't call you back in time or something? Or something, wasn't it these people? I don't think so.
It wasn't these people? Not, I mean, that could be a... Oh, it was a Mexican, something Mexican though, wasn't it? What other company was it with?
All right, first of all, let me tell you something about retailers, okay? A lot of them have cards declined. No, no, no, no, no, I understand that. But a lot of them...
We had the compromises actually when it was declined. A lot of them will have the decency to talk to you on the phone. Yes, that's what I mean. They didn't follow up, they just moved to the next person.
Or something like that. But it wasn't this company? That wasn't, was something Mexican, something about tacos? No, no, no.
Oh, you're talking about the Mexican experiment with the fly. Oh, the Mexican experiment. That's what I want. Something Hispanic.
Yeah. Jesus, you're just monkey-fucking your way through everything. Oh, sure. All right, well, here we go.
You like to smoke the Roja Street tobacco barbacoa. Mm-hmm. Barbacoa. I don't get it.
The Voyage Cigar with barbacoa tobacco. Oh. And a Churchill size, you need to head to store in Farmington Mass. Got to go to Mass to get the good tacos.
Later this month, Watch Cigar Cigar. What? That's the name of the company? Watch Cigar Cigar.
Cigar Cigar. It's getting an exclusive size of the blend appropriately called the Roja Street Taco. They're a good retail. Watch City Exclusive.
It's a 7x48 Churchill. It uses an Ecuadorian Somato rubber over Nicaraguan binder and fillers from Somato, Nicaragua. It will have an MSRP of $10 and limited to 300 boxes of cigars. All right, Denver's Flavored Tobacco Band advances.
So the whole purpose of reading that was because you thought that was the company. I thought that was the company that we got involved. Holy shit. But still, I like saying the Rojas Street Tobacco.
Rojas. Street Taco. EBITDA. No, there's no EBITDA.
Just EBITDA Street Taco. Denver's Flavored Tobacco Band advances, Michael. Okay. The premium cigar exemption was added, though.
Well, that's nice. So what kind of flavored tobacco are they banning? I'm just kind of curious. I was kind of curious, so like, they open it up for marijuana retail, crushing it, right, and then they're like, but, you know, the flavored shit's gotta go.
Denver Postman on flavored tobacco's moving forward. There's now an exemption that means it won't apply to premium cigars. So what kind of flavored tobacco is left? Chewing?
Your Philly Blunt stuff? Pipe tobacco and hookah tobacco has been exempt, too. It's, so they're, well, they're looking for just convenience store cigars. Machine-made cigars?
Yeah, shit like that. Oh, okay. The Denver City Council's... But why, I just don't, I just don't get it.
Why? Why? You fucking greenlit weed. I don't know.
If approved the council, the ban will go into effect on July 1st. I don't see it. I don't know. Politicians are crazy, man.
They just find a call. They're fucking nuts. Just throw it on the walls, see if it sticks. Oh, that went away?
Oh, man. Okay, well, that was a bad idea. Let's move on to something else. Do I still get my check?
Pass me the joints. Pass me the joints. Come on, puff, puff, pass there, city commissioner. - We should ban some stuff.
- Proskrito ships the Tyler Durden. - Yeah. - Think this is a cease and desist on the Tyler Durden? - Who's gonna cease and desist?
Warner Brothers or Whirland's Fight Club? - Whirland's Fight Club. They admit that it's made after the guy in Fight Club. Proskrito Cigars Fight Club inspired cigars begin shipping to stores.
The Tyler Durden has a 5 3/4 by 52 Robuso Extra that uses a Mexican San Andreas wrapper over an undisclosed binder. - Oh. - And filler. That's a filler.
That's fucked up, man. You should always. You should always say what it is. You should always disclose what it is.
I mean, we got ours from the River Valley place on the cartoon thing. Oh, Ladvaria. Ladvaria, yes. Their filler is also from Ladvaria.
Did you read the half-wheel comments? Because somebody said, "Ladvaria," like as in Dr. Doom? Right.
" Yep, that's where it's from. It is produced in the Dominican Republic in an undisclosed factory. A lot of undisclosed. That Dr.
Doom owns. Very suspicious. Production is limited to 200 boxes and the title of Durden is MSRP of? The edition of the 1099 Prince Cigar will be sold in boxes of 14 will be limited to 200 boxes, the name Tyler Burden, Burden, Durden, Durden, Durden, is a reference to the narrator character in The Fight Club.
Oh, I would have never known that. Yes, that's the whole reason. Yeah. Excuse me.
A little tickle in my throat. I thought that we weren't allowed to talk about that. Tyler Durden? Yeah, we're not.
We're not talking about that. First rule about the Tyler Durden cigar? The first time you did the press release, you said, we're not talking about this. I'm like, first rule is again, that's why we're not talking about this.
Threw the fucking paper away. Crownhead Cigars Tributes to the Grant Kawasaki with a HG-76-A-R-K-A-W-A-S-A-K-I. On July 25th, Grant Kawasaki passed away due to the coronavirus, COVID-19. Now Crownheads will pay tribute to the pop- I'm not making fun of the man's name.
Yeah. I thought they were talking about- I'm reading it in tribute to the Mr. Kawasaki, popular chef and cigar smoker with a cigar A cigar named in his honor, the HG76 is a 5x58, or 5 and 5/8x46 Corona Gorda that uses a Connecticut broadleaf wrapper over a binder from Jalapa, Nicaragua, and Villas from Brazil, Mexico, and Nicaragua. 50 per cigar and will go on sale beginning December 2nd as an exclusive to the R Field Wine Company.
It is made at Tabla Galera Pichardo. Pichardo. Kawasaki was a friend to many in the cigar community, including John Huber of Crownheads. He was a chef and host of the Hawaiian Grown Kitchen, a local television show that focused on Hawaiian foods and chefs, Grant was one of the first people to befriend me in Hawaii back in 2015, said Huber, Huber, co-founder of Crown Heads and Freshly Leafs, Huber, Huber, Huber.
I first met him at a cigar gathering at the Roe Bar in Honolulu and was so kind and gracious and generous, he bought my first taste of poke, which he made himself, Grant was an integral part of our annual. Poké, you ever had Poké? Uh, yes. That's good.
Yeah, it comes in a bowl. Yeah. Yeah. All right, now our throwaway story, Michael, for the week.
Comes from China, Michael. I'm sorry, do you need to talk to somebody there? No, no, you go ahead. We'll hold the show till you're done texting.
I'm good. You're done, you ready now? I'm ready for you. You're gonna read it, you're gonna tell everyone?
Share with the glass? Who are you talking to? Talking to my wife. Oh, she still hate you?
No. No. She doesn't hate me. Come on.
Now tell the story of what happened in the middle of the night. You pee-pee'd the bed? No. No?
No, I will not. You pee-pee'd the bed. I will not. I will not do that to her.
Me, personally, my life's an open book, but I have to protect, respect my wife's wishes, and not bring those things up. Embarrass her. Nobody watches this show, Mike. Go ahead and bring those things up.
Nobody watches this show, but your family. All right, CNN reports that one man found the limit to an all-you-can-eat barbecue buffet in China. Okay. He ate too much.
Did he die? A food live streamer known simply as Mr. Kang. Mr.
Kang. Kang. " Kang. Kang.
Kang. Kang says he was banned from Handadi Seafood Barbecue and Buffet for eating too much. Mr. Kang claimed to be discriminated against people with large appetites.
" Is this... What? Hold on. I can eat a lot.
It is that a fault. How much is a lot exactly? 8 pounds of prawns and another. What happened to my last page here?
I guess that's where the story ends. Wow. What happened there? So the guy ate a lot.
The guy ate a lot and he was banned and not allowed to go back. Well, you know, that's kind of funny because, you know, there's so many Chinese jokes that you can just drop on that. That's not all you can eat. It's not all you can eat.
You eat too much. You don't come here no more. You'll get out. You'll get out.
You'll get out right now. That's so funny. Tyler Durden. Let's review.
Mr. Kang ate a lot of fucking food. Got kicked out. How much is that exactly?
The owner of the restaurant says the behavior is costing him big time. You eat too much. You don't come back. A few hundred won with every visit from...
Okay, that's like $17. Oh, yeah. It's $8. It used to be $8.
It used to be $8 for every 101. Even when he drinks soy milk, he can drink 20 or 30 bottles, the owner tells BBC. When he eats the pork trottas, he consumes a whole tray of them. And for prawns, usually people use tongs to pick them up.
He uses tray, you take them all. Not just Mr. King, who is no longer allowed in the restaurant. And Daddy's Seafood Barbecue Buffet is banning all live streamers.
You no come in, you on IG. Wow. So, you know. There's a move that is in line with a large mandate in China to control an ongoing food shortage that one could ban all eating influencers' videos in the country.
Oh, shit. It begs the question, if a food shortage is the issue, why keep all-you-can-eat institutions around it all? Not to mention the question of all hygiene problems that are magnified in a post-pandemic world. If these restaurants want to go weigh the dodo, they can find another home for indoor koi fish.
Wow. They have indoor koi fish at the all-you-can-e places. You can't eat them, they're swimming around. Yeah, you just watch them.
That's nice. Maybe he was trying to be hygienic. No, I take tray. It'd be better for you.
It's cleaner. It's cleaner. No use fork. No use fork or chopstick.
I like that you always overly abuse your... Chinese? Yeah, especially your Chinese. Because I'm more familiar with that.
Because you know your Chinese. I know my Chinese accent. You know your Chinese. I do very well, you come now.
They're very loud people, they talk loud like this. Yes. I figured it's an all-you-can-eat buffet. You gotta kick it, you know, like if I own, I'm trying to play it out in my head.
I'm like, okay, I own this thing. This guy's fucking checkmated me, right? Right. Like I'm going into a deficit.
This guy's running me net negative. Like, what do I, what's the strategy? Do I make him only do smaller plates? Do I make him get up and walk?
Just more trips. Do I discourage it? Right. Well, you know, if a guy's that fat and he's got to walk a lot, he'll get discouraged.
I mean, nothing says a man's fat, just that he eats a lot. I mean, I guess you got a point. So, you know, if you have no alternative, you either A, ice him in the parking lot, it's fucking, you know. You make a limit.
It's not all you can eat. Or you poison him so they die or something. Oh, in China they poison him. Right?
I mean, there's people who go disappear. I know, he might eat bad pit feet, I know no problem. People disappear all the time in China. I eat same pit feet, I find.
Yeah, it's true. He eat too much, he's very fat, he choke. Right? Right.
Yeah, I guess you go tell them to go fuck off. Hey, yeah. You, you fuck off, you big man. You're not allowed in here no more.
Yeah, or, you know, I mean, you stage them to have an argument and to fight with the server or something, you know? Oh, you're very rude to Mr. Ling. Yeah.
You must leave now. You're out. You're out now. You ban.
No more. You know, it's, you know, it's an art form. You gotta know what, you know, you gotta kind of strategize that. You gotta work it.
Yeah. You gotta work the system. So that you have still good publicity, you know? Like, oh, Mr.
Kang. Oh, Mr. Kang. He come here to get a fight.
We have a video. We told him he eat all he want. He know what, he's a very rude man. Yeah, like you can have the server being rude, berate him and whatever, and then, you know, you don't show any of that.
You don't show that part, no. Then you have a video clip of him getting physical with the server, and then done. Post that. We post now.
Right, now guess what? On Chinese Instagram, called Ching Ching. Ching Ching. Ching Ching.
Ching Ching Instagram. Oh, my God. They use WeChat or whatever it's called, whatever that thing is. They use that a lot.
Whatever is government, man. Yeah, whatever government is approved. All right, Michael, what's the shop of the week? The shop of the week.
Shop of the week, Michael. Nickel City Cigars. Nickel City Cigars? Buffalo, New York?
I don't know. We should probably review this before. Buffalo, New York, Nickel City Cigars. Contact, what's his name again?
Tommy. Tommy! Yeah. Farrell.
- Good job. - Ah, see? - You pulled that out. - Me, me, me, me, me, me.
- My friend. - Yeah. - Tell me. With the lovely girlfriend.
- Yes. - Yes. All right, what did you listen to? - I think he might hate me right now.
I'm not sure. - Why is he? Oh, probably. - I don't know.
I'll define it. - You're very angry. Maybe he's a friend of Brittany's and he heard I'll bet you treat your wife. - It's positive.
- Maybe he's like that emotional friend or something. - Oh, well. He was here in town and didn't come see us. - He did.
- And he was with, you know, the name we no longer say. - That's true. Yeah, well, you know, I guess I can't win them all. No.
Just the way it goes. Yeah. All right. I wish I could.
You got anything else? You got a Listener of the Week? Tommy Farrell, Listener of the Week. Excellent job, Tommy.
Hey. Oh, there you go, Tommy. Nice job. That's it.
You know, just drop a little egg here, saying that the War Bear will probably be released in this upcoming week. It's a box-pressed. A box-pressed. We'll talk more about it in the next episode.
Oh, we can put them all over the desk? We can do all types. We can do all types. We can do a press release.
A press release. So I'm looking forward to that. Or Latvaryan River Valley Tobacco. We can say that we, I can.
Let's pick a different cartoon character. We can, you know, there are some things that I'll disclose and there are some things that I won't disclose. Well, it's the same blend as always. Exactly.
Yeah, it's just in a different shape. So go look it up. It is very good. It's fucking amazing.
Dude. It's weird how different flavor just from the squeezy. Yeah. No shit, dude.
I'm through like three or four a day right now. Oh, look at you. I need to stop. I need to stop.
He's smoking all his way out of the inventory. Yeah, it's like, ugh. It's no, it's no bueno. No bueno.
Hey everybody, this has been episode 201 of the Cigar Hustler Podcast. We'll be doing the Patreon this week, Michael. I don't know. We're gonna talk some shit.
We're gonna review a cigar. All right, just like always. All right. Thank you very much.
We'll talk to you guys later. Bye. A Cigar Hustlers podcast, its owners, and its sponsors take no responsibility for the opinions or statements made by the talk show host or their guest. Statements or show topics are not necessarily the beliefs of Mike and Mike Productions or the podcast providers, and opinions between talk show hosts may differ.
It is not our intention to libel, incite, or hurt anyone's feelings. We invite you to write the show's host, Mike Szczepankewicz, with any feedback or suggestions that you have for their shows. These broadcasts are presented and made public as entertainment in the hope that they will be entertaining to the audience. This has been a Cigar Hustlers Podcast, a Mike and Mike production.
m. for all new episodes. Hi, I'm doing, I'm Husto-E-Raw. Yeah, we just don't have to do a single podcast ever again.
Perfect! I'm good, Mike and Mike. How are you guys doing? The Hojo Deeb.
Hojo! It's the Hojo! He didn't even let him fuck it up all the way. I couldn't get past Hojo!
I don't even have to try it. He's not even going to try. We're going to cover a lot of ground here, Mike. All right.
Try to keep up. That's a sign of a good podcast. It'd be like four cigars when I walked in a door. All right, end this.
Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike squared, squared, squared, squared, squared, squared, squared, squared, squared.
Show Notes
The lovely Mrs Szczepankiencz stops in to clear the air on some things Mikey may just have stretched the truth about!!