Cigar Hustlers Podcast 209 Some bad news and Mikey pees himself

Episode Summary

Episode 209 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast opens as one of the show's more personal installments. The two Mikes talk Eagles/Buccaneers playoff football, a shout-out to a surge of listeners in Belgium, and a genuinely mortifying Universal Studios story involving the Men in Black ride and a previous rider's accident. The back half of the opening turns somber: one host's uncle has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, while co-host Mike Palmer shares that his father passed away after a fall led to broken ribs, pneumonia and fluid on the lungs. The two spend a long, candid stretch on what nobody tells you about losing a parent — hospice and funeral-home logistics, cremation wishes, hunting for a life insurance policy in an office that had been mysteriously emptied out during his father's Alzheimer's decline, protecting a surviving parent from scammers once a death certificate goes public, and dark-humor coping (the "Dead Dads Club").

The news segment is a rundown of the January 2022 price-increase avalanche: La Flor Dominicana, Blanco Cigars (David Blanco), El Artista, CLE/Asylum, and Ashton — whose update now covers La Aroma de Cuba, San Cristóbal, the premium house selection lines, and Savoy humidors and accessories. RoMa Craft Tobac's increase gets a line-by-line breakdown per Skip Martin: an average 3.8% bump, with Aquitaine at 7.3%, CroMagnon 9.5%, Baka 1.4%, Intemperance BA 4.3%, EC 5.2%, WR 9.7%, Neanderthal 2.1%, limited editions 1.9% and El Catador samplers 3.5% — driven by tobacco, labor, logistics and FDA compliance costs. The hosts also note Halfwheel's awards week and its decision to skip Factory of the Year due to no factory visits during COVID (they promise their own Cigar Hustler Factory of the Year pick), tease their annual reading of the Cigar Aficionado Top 25, and announce they're headed to TPE with an open Wednesday dinner slot.

Also covered: Washington, D.C.'s requirement that patrons show proof of COVID vaccination to enter cigar bars, restaurants and gyms, including the two exemption categories; a birthday shout-out to John Converse of Perdomo; and the Bandolero Firecracker from United Cigars and Nelson Alfonso's Selected Tobacco — a 3.5 x 50 short robusto based on the Clandestinos (Series C) blend with an Ecuadorian wrapper from the Aventureros (Series A) line, tobaccos aged five years plus two years post-roll, $9 MSRP in 20-count boxes, shipping in June. The episode closes with the usual off-the-rails non-cigar news (a man claiming COVID cost him length, Florida's defective purple LED streetlights, a Betty White tribute, and a Clearwater glitter-throwing felony), Listener of the Week Brittany, and Shop of the Week.

In This Episode

1. 01
   Playoff Football, Belgium and the Goat Hat
   The hosts recap attending the Buccaneers–Eagles playoff game with Boots and his son, and thank a surge of listeners in Belgium.
2. 02
   The Men in Black Ride Incident
   A Universal Studios trip goes sideways when Mike sits in a seat a previous rider had soaked, forcing an emergency sweatpants purchase.
3. 03
   Family Illness and Loss
   One host's uncle is given months to live with lung cancer, and Mike Palmer shares that his 80-year-old father passed away after a fall led to pneumonia.
4. 04
   What Nobody Tells You About a Parent's Death
   An honest conversation about hospice, funeral homes, cremation wishes, missing life insurance policies, Alzheimer's-era shredded records, and protecting a widow from scammers.
5. 05
   2022 Cigar Price Increases
   Announced hikes from La Flor Dominicana, Blanco Cigars, El Artista, CLE/Asylum and Ashton — including La Aroma de Cuba, San Cristóbal and Savoy accessories.
6. 06
   RoMa Craft Tobac Increase, Line by Line
   Skip Martin's first price increase since 2019 averages 3.8%, with specific percentages for Aquitaine, CroMagnon, Baka, Intemperance and Neanderthal.
7. 07
   Halfwheel Awards Week and TPE Plans
   Halfwheel skips Factory of the Year over the lack of COVID-era factory visits, prompting the hosts to name their own — plus TPE travel and dinner availability.
8. 08
   DC Cigar Bar Vaccine Mandate and the Bandolero Firecracker
   Washington, D.C. requires proof of vaccination to enter cigar bars, and United Cigars announces a Bandolero Firecracker for June.

Brands & Cigars Discussed

Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.

Transcript

- One more time. One more time. Welcome to episode 209. The number two podcast to follow in 2022.

A Cigar Hustlers podcast. Take three. Oh, my lord, let me disrespect you too can be a part of our podcast family and invest in our show. Put your products in front of thousands of listeners and viewers every episode.

We are heard on 12 different podcast providers weekly all around the world. com. com. Remember to please rate, comment, and subscribe wherever you happen to listen or watch or whatever the thing is.

Especially YouTube. Especially YouTube. Tube of the You. Tube of the You.

Oh, by the way... It's freezing. Ratings were way up last week. Way up.

Way up. Go to the roof. Well, it's 48 degrees here, so that means it's like negative two throughout the rest of the world. Nothing to do.

" There you go. Catch on up. Oh, by the way, salut to our friends in Belgium. Oh.

The, uh, Belgium was our number two listener area last week. Number two? Behind the USA. It was Belgium.

Salut, all our Belgian friends. You know what, that's an embarrassment for the Canadians. That's all I'm saying. Oh.

You know, you guys should be embarrassed. Belgium just came in just fucking- You know what, I love your waffles. You know, that's- Just so you know. That's like San Francisco uprooting the Cowboys.

I mean, you know. It's just- The sport thing? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of NFL games this week.

A lot of playoff games. I gotta tell you. You went to another game. I did.

With the boot family. With, I brought the boots. boots yes um it was yeah man we had a great time it was a great game uh you played the jeep game i heard again oh we did nobody likes a jeep game at you mike i'll just tell you no well it's fun for everybody until they realize that i kicked their ass in it because you're the only one that ever plays i'm competitive af yeah you know jeep jeep jeep they're like where am i there's not way over there two counties over i saw one go to the guys i'm like just wait a mile and it'll come to you i can see really really well apparently tell you apparently and you just pop jeeps like like i remember i was at the i did a doctor's like a physical appointment and they do like the eyeball check right right so like i'm standing went oh sir you're too close we're gonna have to move you no so i'm standing across the hallway all the way across the hallway and we're in the other room the door shut and i'm pinging pinging them pinging them pinging them and then they're like she's like wow that's that's you you didn't miss a single one she goes Can you do the bottom row? And I did.

I pelted that one, too. I was like, what's up? What you got? Move it further.

Further away. You know, let's make it interesting. Why don't we have somebody moving in front of you? Oh, moving target.

Yeah, I can handle that. Just putting their hands back in front of the letters, back and forth. F, P, T, Z. So yeah, we went to the Eagles game.

That was amazing. And what a great game. It was fun to watch, man. It was fun to watch, man.

You know, it was good to see kind of like a blowout where they kind of had control of the whole game. Yeah? Yeah. It was really fun.

We had a really good time. You know, Boots and his son, Ethan, they were, you know, they were really cool. And I wore the goat hat, and Boots wore the goat hat. I saw the picture.

You made Boots wear it. We had people taking pictures of us. I heard last night. People on the field were taking pictures of us.

Some guy in a suit with the Tampa Bay Bucs stuff, he's like, you guys get together. I'm like, okay. Like a picture? I'm like, the only two people that ever want pictures of me are my wife and my mother.

The San Francisco Times, the two of you are going to show. The middle-aged gay couple was enjoying the goats at the game. So nobody gave us a hard time for standing this whole time. You're both kind of large.

Who's going to say something now? It's like you brought back up. Some people would say stuff, but nobody did. There weren't as many Eagles fans as I thought there would be, which is kind of cool.

There was a guy next to us, and he was an Eagles guy, and when we sat down, he was very nice, he was a good game, you know, I hope you guys have fun, and then all of a sudden we started whooping their ass, and he's like, you know, you wouldn't be shit without Tom Brady. I was like, wait till next year. I'm like, that's like saying Jordan, you know, the Bulls wouldn't be shit without Jordan, you know, like, what are you saying? And then as, like, he goes to leave early and he's like, you know, I guarantee you guys won't repeat.

So I looked at him and said, the only thing that you can guarantee me is that the Eagles season is over today. And he was not happy about that. That's like I said. But, you know, it's two years in a row, right?

What, that they're in the playoffs? Well, they don't go, are they going, those, so the Super Bowl has not been determined yet. No, no, no, not yet. But there's a lot of things that are going on right now.

A. Rams and the fucking Rams look good, man. Yeah, they didn't use it to be like that, though. So that's, no, they've always, they've been, they had to, I went to a game when we, when Adrian still lived in St.

Louis, I mean, there was next to nobody there. That's the St. A. rooms.

Are there two rim teams? A. Oh, they moved, right. Yeah.

, then they moved to St. Louis, now they moved back? They've had, all the same players? A.

No, I mean, you know, there's been a, you're talking about how long ago, four, at least four years ago. Yeah, it had to be a while ago. So, you know, the coach there, Sean McVay, is really good. He's a very good coach.

Yeah, he's very young. Very young gentleman. Yeah, they got a— Lovely family. They have a powerful defense, a powerful offense.

Powerful. And it's a tough game. Unfortunately, I can't go to that game. Why not?

You really want to know? Oh. I'll fucking tell you. Sure.

Well, my uncle has lung cancer, and he might have two months to live. Oh. And he requested that we go and see him on Sunday. Oh.

So I'm like, you know. You got two months. Big game. Big game.

I'm like, well, I'm a big fan. Can I wait next week? Yeah, come on. You got two weeks.

Yeah, hang in there. So, yeah, that was kind of a bummer. Well, maybe you didn't even get to do. I mean, I hate to wish anything bad.

It's possible. I mean, yeah, I mean. You know, so this is like the whole thing has been very surreal for me because, so my aunt, my aunt and we were all kind of, I don't know where to start on the story. My aunt and, and my uncle started to get kind of closer to us when my father had passed.

Right. And, um. I don't know if just you and I have talked about this or we did it on the air. I don't remember.

I don't think we talked about it on the air. Okay. And then. Did you just lose a tooth all of a sudden?

No. I don't feel like it was a tooth. I got a little tobacco in there. Oh, I hate when that happens.

So we were kind of, you know, so like we started kind of developing that relationship again. And she was kind of my only source to history about my father. Right. Well, then, of course, she gets COVID and dies.

Oh, yeah. Like three months ago. Right. So then he can kind of carries a torch and keeps calling and like, hey, how you doing?

I'm going to come and see you. And like he just kind of rapidly deteriorated at a very fast pace. So, I, you know, I mean, it's, it's, it sucks, it sucks. Yeah, it sucks.

I don't know what else to say there. No, no, no, you're right. I, I, I completely understand. But if he wants me to come and see, he wants, yeah, you go, I'm, I'm fucking going, right?

Yeah. So no football game is, is important as family. So, so we're going, should be fucking entertaining. It's going to be a hell of a drive with three kids.

Oh, all the way down to Miami. Oh, they're, they're in Naples. Oh, to the other side. It's about four and a half hours.

Well, the game's on the way. Yeah. Oh, I'm going to slide that in. Yeah.

Brittany, wait in the car. I'll be right back. I'll be right back. Jax, come on me.

Jax, come on, buddy. So, um, so yeah, we had good, either way, I digress. We had a good time at the game. We went to Universal.

Oh, did you? Yeah. Recently? Yeah.

Aren't there more restrictions with them? There are more restrictions. And I'm going to tell you right now, the place, it wasn't, I had a good time, but you could just tell that employees are fucking irate about the mask thing. It's tough.

Did I read an article that they might close for a while until this clears up? They better not. Maybe it was one in California. Is there one in California?

Probably. Maybe it's that one. I didn't read the article. We're in Florida, baby.

We stay open. Right. Yeah. So I still can't taste anything.

Still can't. So food-wise, I mean... So there are... I can get notes of...

I can get notes of salts, like, and I can get notes of sweetness. What's really funny is artificial sweeteners are definitely sweeter than sugars. Oh, yeah. So you can taste those better than...

Oh, nice. I don't know if I had COVID or not. I'm not gonna go get... Yeah, if you don't get tested, you don't have it.

Well, if I have a stuffy nose, what am I supposed to do? I'm supposed to get my fucking... I have a kid, a two-year-old child that's in an early learning center, and they bring home shit all the time. All the time, yeah.

You get tested weekly. Right. Nobody's had fevers, nobody's been coughing or anything in my house. It's tomorrow where you can go online and apply for a free test from the government.

Ooh, that's nice. I'm excited about that. I just want one test sitting around. But what's the point?

If people aren't dying and there's no fever, where's the line? Right, where do you do it? The line for you is definitely different than the line for me, and you know, it is what it is. You choose to live your life how you want to live your life, I'm going to live mine how I live mine.

And we're in Florida, so we don't really care. We don't really care. Yeah, it's a fucking, it's a lawless state. Right.

God damn it. So I went, I got a, I got a really embarrassing story to tell you. Oh, did you get another fight? No, no, no.

I figured that you'd enjoy it. I figured it would lift your spirits and then we'll depress it. We'll, we'll talk about your situation shortly thereafter. Okay.

All right. So we decided to go to the men in black game, uh, thing, right? Cause this is the thing, like I'm trying to get, is that the, the shooting game? Yes.

So there's actually places on Facebook and shit where you can look up what to shoot. Oh, cheat. It's not cheating. It's preparing.

It's like cheat codes and stuff. Well, you've got to know what to hit and stuff so you can get like the highest score. Right. I can't break half a million.

I get like 500,000. I'm trying to get 999. Oh. Ooh.

So. So I'm like, all right, hey, you guys. So we're with, we're with the, uh, the Manny and his, and his wife. Yes.

And, uh, I'm like, okay, let's, you guys want to do men in black? And they're like, oh yeah, cause they, they're down with that too. They also want to break the score. So, we go, and I go, we go with Jax, and I go and I sit down, I'm like, man, this seat's warm.

Go and fucking, we do the whole thing. Is this seat warm? We go and we do the whole round and stuff. And I get up at the end.

I had a good score, by the way. But it wasn't great. I go to get up and my ass is soaked. Somebody peed the seat.

Some kid pissed in the chair, and it's like a black seat. Right, the seats are black. And it's like, and it's like, it's like almost like a bowl. Right.

So it just kind of sat there. Right. So I totally sat in some kid's piss. Oh.

How terrible is that? What did, what did the German foe do? Oh my God. Uh, I took it.

Wiggly, spray my ass with something. No, I went and I changed. I went and I bought some sweats. Oh.

I'm not sitting in some, I'm not sitting in this. Yeah, to buy 'em, you didn't like complain, you get free ones? I told, I let them know. Right.

" Right. That seat is soaked. Sir, did you get scared, sir? And at that point, I wasn't really...

I don't know, I wasn't... It was warm, so I mean, it was obviously the rider before you. I knew that I had a problem and I had to deal with it, and I'm not the type of person to be like, what kind of shit are you guys trying to... You know, like, I'm not gonna lose, I'm just gonna go fix the problem.

Right. Right. Black Wet doesn't really show up if they wouldn't have seen it, more than likely. Exactly.

Yeah. Like, what would you expect from, you know... Roxy or Adrian Palmer. Uh-oh.

Oh, let me take it real quick. We can take it on the air. We can take it on the air, it's okay. Go ahead.

Hey, babe? Oh, hold on a minute. We're doing a podcast, so this is on the air, but go ahead. You're on the air, AD King Palmer.

Oh, hi, guys. Hi. Just call me back when you're done. Oh.

All right. Anything drastic? Well, I do need to talk to you. All right.

All right. All right. All right, bye. All right, let's stop for a second.

Okay. We'll be right back. Okay. And we're back.

And we're back. Okay, so what happened after your peepee? So I went into the store and I bought, you know, lovely universal sweatpants that I'm like, I'm hooked on these things. I want to wear them all.

Oh, really? They're very comfy. Yeah, very nice. Yeah, so, yeah, just switching.

It could have been worse. My son could have sat in it because he was next to me, you know? Oh, that would have been worse. Yeah, of course.

I mean, you just, like, you think about, like, the shock and embarrassment that it would do to an eight-year-old. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, more people would be, come on, if you peed your pants, Just tell us you paid your pants.

Right, or whatever the case may be, or him just be embarrassed, whatever. Me, it's not a big deal. Not knowing if he did or not. Right, I'm like, yeah, oh great, I'm just sat in some good business.

So what did you do about underwear? Did it soak through to your underwear? Yeah, I felt in the underwear, I went rogue. Oh, in sweatpants.

Oh, yeah. Good thing about having kids, you got like the baby wipes. So yeah, I cleaned myself up nice, nice, I was ready to go. And yeah, I left shortly thereafter.

So what did the ride people say when you told them, hey? They're like, oh really? And like, I wasn't sticking around. I'm like, yeah.

I want to clean that. They might want to stop. They think you did it. Like that guy just pissed himself.

That guy just got so excited. He beat himself on the rod. He really loved the aliens. Right.

So that was fun. Yeah. Woo hoo. Yeah.

So, and you had some bad news, unfortunately. Yeah. We've talked about my father being sick and everything lately. He had fallen right before Christmas and we might even talk about this, And broke a bunch of ribs, cracked a bunch of ribs, I guess.

Yep. That turned into pneumonia, apparently, that was one of the things they were watching for, but it turned into pneumonia, pneumonia turned into fluid on the lung, fluid on the lung, then did him in, and he passed yesterday morning. Yes. You know, it's...

That phone number that called it, it didn't answer, left a message. So you've got a lot on your plate as of late. - Checking them. Calling about your warranty?

- No, shit, I gotta call this student real quick. All right, we're back again. That was a flower delivery man trying to deliver flowers. - So, Mr.

Palmer's got his hands full as of late. You know, hey, unfortunately, I mean, you know, your dad was obviously older. - Yeah, yes, he was 80. - And he had a lot of health issues.

- He had a lot of health issues. They had been declining over the years. - Alzheimer's has been going on. going on yeah so this is i mean it's never good that it ends but that's sort of two evils right it didn't stretch out stretch out so he was he was in hospice for two two and a half full days i guess everybody everybody through this whole thing far as the medical staff has been has been very nice very kind no problems anybody had a little problems with the nurses uh but i straightened that out and we didn't have problems anymore so nice yeah but the hospital people are very nice the uh we've already done the funeral home they were very nice and everybody at the like the Hospitals set us up with the hospice, hospice set us up with the funeral home, funeral home set us up with everything that had been done there, so it's, it's, I don't know, it's a lot easier than you think it's going to be, I guess.

At this point, at, at, in, in his life, and in your life, it's definitely easier. Right, right. It's not like he passed when you were really young. Right.

I'm at an age where I can take care of this. My brother's in town and we're sort of divvying up the duties between the two of us and taking care of that. Today, my mother or my wife's got her, she had a mammogram that she had scheduled previously. Get her all checked out.

Well, that was a previous thing. So we got that taken care of. And then she's trying to turn it. We're trying to turn off dad's phone because mom's been paying for the phone still, even with the dementia.

Really? She never turned it off. Oh, wow. I mean, we just got the phone in our custody two weeks ago because dad had done something to her.

It was completely locked up. You couldn't even get into it anymore. That's nice. Yeah.

But like we started going through his office trying to find stuff about the life insurance, if there was a will and stuff. And his office has been swept clean. There is nothing in it. Really?

It's completely empty. All the file, all the business files, everything's just empty. Everything's empty. It's very strange.

Was that at all of it? We don't know. Nobody knows. Or maybe your mom did?

No, she didn't. She knows she didn't. Well, it's not like people have been rotating in and out of the house. Right.

No, no strangers have been in the house, as far as we know. So it had to have been dad over the last couple of years, just not knowing what something was or something. Because Connor one time caught him shredding photos, old photos. Holy shit.

Yeah, he was like, "Well, I don't know who any of these people are. " So it was just people who didn't remember. They had a safe and a hall closet. I mean, it was open, empty, nothing in it.

Wow. Yeah. So, after a couple of phone calls today, I did find the life insurance policy, but there has to be a second one. This was only enough to cover a burial, a funeral, if he had decided to go that way.

He gave me a letter back in 2008 that said he wanted to be cremated, that he did not want to be buried. The whole idea of being trapped underground just horrified him. And so my mother actually has a problem with the cremation, but she's not fighting it because that's what he wanted. So, you know, there's going to be no service because he didn't want one, so we're just going to pick him up in a week, and there's the flower guy, pick him up in a week and bring him back to the house, and then he sits on the mantel, I guess?

Well, first of all, let me start by saying welcome to the Dead Dads Club. Yes, thank you. You're officially a member. A horrible club to actually be a member of it.

Well, it's better. You're right. It's better than the other way around. You know, unfortunately, it's, again, it's the lesser of two evils.

Right. I can tell you that I kept my dad in the closet for a long time. Yeah. For a long time, 'cause you just don't know what to do.

Your mom, I've heard a lot of people do that, a lot of people. You, your mother didn't, I mean, I know they weren't married at the time. No, so, actually, his girlfriend. Right, that was a nice question, she didn't want any, she didn't want him.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, she did. The problem with that is you could lose contact with her and then not get him back. Yeah.

I wasn't okay with that. Yeah. I was like, you need to bring him here. Right.

You know, so, um, you know. Well, maybe my dad and your dad can get together. We'll get them together for drinks or something. Yeah.

That sounds like a plan. We can put them, we can put the box together. Right. Hey guys, chit chat.

That's fine. They probably would have enjoyed talking to each other. Yeah. I can, I can actually bring the box over.

You can like watch my dad for a little bit. Oh, yeah. There you go. There you go.

We can switch. I need to borrow dad for a while, mom. He's going out. He's got a, he's got a day date.

Only some people will find humor in this It's a morbid fucking conversation. I told Adrian about the dead dad club after we talked about it last night. She's like, what a horrible thing. We can make it lighthearted.

There's nothing we can do about it. Yeah, I'm trying to crack jokes in the car and stuff, you know, we're driving around. Adrian goes, this is not the time for that. I go, well, you know what?

Dad would be laughing. When is the time? Yeah. And you know what's funny is because I only got to meet your dad a couple times.

Right. But God damn, he was a funny motherfucker. I can tell that's where you got it from. Like, you know, he would drop shit.

He would drop lines. You're like, that is awesome. Well, I think I said just recently, mom would be yelling about something and he would... Right, he'd fake like he's dead.

He'd fake like he's dead. You know, what happened? " He died. Dad died again.

Dad died again. No habla inglés. No habla inglés. No habla inglés.

All of a sudden he doesn't speak English. So yeah, you know. But yeah, we can get our dads together. So my dad has eventually, he's made his, we have like a, we have like this morbid fucking graveyard now of two dogs and my dad, you know, little collection out in the family room.

There's stuff like you have to know that you don't know, like we needed his mother's made name for the birth certificate. Yeah, that's not a question you know about your father. Right, right. I mean, we even, like he's got one relative left, his brother, hadn't talked to him forever, just for one reason.

We couldn't find his number forever. Right. We didn't even know how to get ahold of him. And then he didn't even know, well, he knew the mother's made name, but he had spelled it wrong.

Oh, shit. So we eventually found that online. But then like where he was born, we're like, it's Texas, but that's all we knew. Even mom didn't know.

In Texas. So we had it narrowed down to Lamar County in the city of Paris, Texas, or Paris County, Lamar, Texas. I mean, and they're not close together if you look on a map. It's not like they crossed lines or anything.

But when I found the life insurance policy, the small life insurance policy, it was on there apparently. Right. So we did get that. I mean, it's possible that's the only one.

If he had like a term policy or something like that, who knows? Who knows? He would have thought he would have taken, would have set things up better for mom. I don't think dudes necessarily cover that.

Well, he had mentioned it before time to time, you know, that he had made sure mom was taking care of, so there's got to be a will somewhere and there may be money hidden somewhere that we don't know about. I mean, she has plenty of money. I checked her financials the other day and I know how much is coming in from his pension, from where he worked forever, and his social security. I'm sure an investigator could find all that stuff.

Yeah, well, that's a big thing, so with her still alive, everything just defaults to her anyway, so right, for the most part, you're right, right, so like I said, Adrian went to the bank today, and it's not what there's like an and/or thing, if it's and, it's both, if it's or, it's either or something, but the bank accounts are all safe, we're not even going to close those, because then it's too much trouble, right, she's on the account, yeah, she's on the account, and they said it's not a problem just to leave it, and it's easier to leave it than to close the account. You know, five or six accounts they have, right, and close the IRAs and all this other crap. Yeah, that's a mess. Yeah, and then her trying to, you know, she might start using the wrong checkbook and then we got to make sure we get all the old checks.

Right. It's just too much trouble. Just leave it the way it is. We're just leaving it the way it is, right.

Okay. Well, hey, you know, sorry for your loss, dude. Thank you. It is what it is.

You've been very nice. You've called me several times. It's not easy, you know. And it's hard for anybody else to really kind of understand if you haven't lost a loved one.

He lost a loved one. Right. You know what I mean? So, like, I was even explaining that to Boots.

I'm like, you know, your dad's still alive. Right. His dad's my age. I know.

His dad's a couple years older than me, if that. He started fucking when I was like 12 or some shit. Right. Apparently.

Started banging him out. Yeah. So, you know. Thank goodness my wife has been through this several times with her mother and her sister.

Yeah. So, she's... She's experienced a lot. Right.

So, she's taking a couple days off and she's just, you know, running everybody through and everything. But mom doesn't want anybody to know, it's kind of weird. Yeah, man, like older people kind of take like pride in, you know, they're always about very, yeah, like very secluded, like even my uncle, like, you know, I'm sure that like, even Brittany and I have had these conversations, like, they had to know other things have been going, they had to know, like, yeah, well, forever, she didn't want anybody to know he had dementia, right, and Alzheimer's, she went right, and I understand that way. Yeah, somebody can take advantage of you.

That's a little more embarrassing. I don't think it's embarrassing. I just think that some people fucking suck. Like, I can tell you that when my grandmother had dementia, people purposely came around and took advantage and took all her shit.

Right. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, we've explained that to her now. Like, you know, when you answer the phone, don't give anybody information on the phone because as soon as the death certificate is made public, I'm sure these, you know, all sorts of scum come out of the woodwork.

Of course. Right. So we're trying to get everything locked down. So before that, that apparently takes like a week to 10 days to get those.

It's not a easy process. Yeah. And then COVID, everybody's lazy as fuck now. It's like, at least a month.

COVID? What? So like, you know, we were gonna, okay, well, I just did that on service. We'll have to think of the house.

You know, the neighbors might want to come. No, no, no, no neighbors. No neighbors, just family. Nobody, nobody coming over.

Yeah. Whatever she wants. Well, yeah. I mean, that's what it is, really.

Unless there's something that you want. Right. No, I mean, no, whatever she wants, I don't. I figured that you would be indifferent.

I don't know your brother, but you know, I mean, you're, you can't, you have a tendency to cater to people around you. yeah yeah no i'm sure i thought she and because some of the neighbors have we've had to call on to help for different situations over the last couple years so they know and like when he got taken to the hospital for the broken ribs we had to call the neighbor to get him because they're 40 minutes away right i mean so and they were right there so they took him but she doesn't mom didn't even want her to know but we had to tell her because we couldn't get in one night because we didn't there's a little clicker to get through the gate and we didn't have my car so we didn't have the clicker we didn't think to grab the clicker so we had to call that neighbor to get So they just ram the gate, you have to explain what's going on, you know, are you home, and we need to need to call you and all sorts of stuff. So yeah. But well, and everybody, everybody means well, I know, but everybody's got advice.

Yeah, everybody, you know, there is no, you don't know. So I appreciate, you know, that you're well thought and, and that you're sorry. And but, you know, yeah, you should let her stay in the house. She needs to stay in the house.

There is no right. That house is so fucking huge. And she's going to Yeah, you're gonna be beating around in a house by yourself. Yeah, who the fuck wants that?

Yeah. And the draw on her monthly for that thing, you know? For a big house for one person. Yeah, I mean, there's a lawn guy, there's a pool guy, there's a, you know, the house is 15 years old or so, so there's maintenance of doing a house and, ugh, cleaning lady.

Yeah, no, I mean, there's no, look, at the end of the day, there is no right answer. You do whatever you think is best for your family, and that's fucking that, man. Right. So, hey, we've had a rough couple of fucking weeks.

We've had her off a couple of weeks here at the Hustler, so... And Mike just took the fucking cherry and put it on top. Yeah, we missed a couple of shows, and then this one's going up late, and so... Did we miss a podcast?

No, we didn't miss a podcast. We didn't miss a podcast. I missed the other one, because it was Wednesday, and so we missed that one last week. For the shit show?

Yeah, but this one we have not missed at all, though. Except the Patreon. We missed a couple of Patreons for... Because I can't taste anything, goddammit!

But we're gonna still roll through it, whatever. We're gonna do one today. We're gonna roll through it today. I don't want Bo to be upset, you know?

No, now we owe him $5, we missed two. I'll give him five bucks. Five bucks, Bo, we're very sorry, Bo. I'll give him a cigar.

Give him two new Cubas. Two new Cubas. That puts you a little over to five dollars. Get you a house blend, unbanded, short filler, something special.

Nice. Yeah. All right, we ready to do this? We got a lot of news this week.

Ooh, we do? We have a lot of news. That's good, let's make this a little bit lighter. Oh, we have a lot of lighter stories for the news, too.

Excellent. I'm super busy, I'm super busy, how do you spell Chevelle? From the four corners of the world, all the cigar industry news you could possibly need, the Cigar Hustler Podcast Report, with Mike Toon. La Flor de Medicana is increasing prices, Mike.

No way! Blanco Cigar is increasing prices, Mike. Who? Blanco, David Blanco, Blanco Cigars.

El Artista price increase, Agronor's Elif price increase in February. They're holding up. Ah, and CLE. Don't look ahead.

CLE Asylum is increasing the prices on February 1st. Ashton is increasing prices for 2022, but it's an update. Okay. Previous stories said they were going to increase prices on everything produced in the Dominican Republic.

Now, the changes will affect La Roma De Cuba, San Cristobal, and the premium house selection lines, as well as the company's Savoy humidors and accessories. All of it. And then finally, Michael, Dunkin' Donuts is having a price increase. Dunkin' Donuts?

Dunkin' Donuts. That's where I fucking draw the line. I knew that one would upset you. Of course it would.

So wait, now I got to pay more for my munchkins? More for the munchkins. It's just a leftover donut. Why do I have to pay a premium for this?

It's just the leftovers. It's just the leftover of the donut. They took the circle out, and they fucking rolled it up, and now I got to pay a premium for this. Premium for the, yes, that is, the price increase is just on the munchkins.

You know what, we're going to have a price increase on our empty boxes here. Fuck that. Just the empties. Now there's $6 on those.

Let's see, Romacraft Tobac, Michael, is increasing prices in 2022. They are? Yes, we've heard this. Yes, but the actual story is for Uncle Skip.

Oh, okay, for Uncle Skip. All right. So, he messaged me the other day for clarification with the Wanderlust Fiorilla, because it's in that sampler pack. Oh, okay.

It's good to know that Skip still listens, by the way. Thank you for being consistent for the past five years. Well, he was man of the year for the shit show. I saw that.

It's a major honor. It's a major honor. Carol Bashkin's number one cigar of the year. Right.

Fantastic. Go-Karton Man of the Year. Man of the Year. Well, I saw Terrence Riley got Dojo's Man of the Year, and we all decided, we're like, oh, well, we should also have a Man of the Year, I'm certain.

Absolutely. And it was unanimously Mr. Skip Martin. Yeah, hands down.

Hands down. Of course. There was no question. And he's also our biggest fan.

Yeah. By size. Not listens most. Hey, he's probably a little leaner now.

Yes, I'm sure he is. I'm sure he is. He's taking care of himself now. He's gotta walk up that hill in San Juan del Sur.

No, no. He drives that go-kart thing. He's a go-kart. 8%.

The changes are the result of an increased cost for tobacco, labor, logistics, and the FDA compliance, according to Mr. Skip Martin, co-founder of Romacraft Tobac. Martin told Half Wheel that this is the first price increase for the company since 2019. And he left open the door for another increase that the Romacraft's costs continue to rise.

1%. Okay. 5%. All right.

5%, that ain't shit. You know, Cameroon, that ain't shit. So, in essence, what he's pretty much saying is your Habano, your demand for Habano, and your pricing for Habano has increased, you know, significantly, and so has your Broadleaf. Yeah, I get that.

Alright, this week is Half Wheel's annual awards week. A series of awards given out by this site are capped off by our annual list of the top 25 cigars we reviewed in the previous year. The awards typically include Company of the Year, Factory of the Year, Package, Top 10, and then the aforementioned Top 25 cigars. It's also a consensus, which is hosted at Half Wheel, but is not a Half Wheel Award.

This year, they are doing no award for Factory of the Year. What do you have, a little, just a little thirsty. I'm a little verklempt. That's interesting.

So why, because COVID or something? Basically, yeah, they haven't been able to visit. Well, I pulled the story because I thought we would do a Cigar Hustler podcast, Factory of the Year. Oh, okay.

Which we will announce next week. They came to this decision because it was difficult, blah, blah, blah, blah. They didn't make any factory visits because of the COVID. I want to find the smallest factory with just one pair.

And that's going to be factory of the year? Factory of the year. Okay. The visits are not the deciding factor, but they do help immensely in understanding how a factory is doing compared to its peers.

The complete lack of visits combined with the other challenges mentioned above made it pretty easy to come to the conclusion that, you know, no award this year. You could have just done one, Charlie. I mean, what the fuck? They hope that this is just a temporary thing, and that next year there will be an award.

You could have just said, hey, you know, like, you could have just said, hey, these cigars have been consistent, we've smoked a majority of these, there's been minimal issues as far as plugs, and this is why we decided to award this factory of the year, even though it's not how we normally do it. Something. Instead of just dropping price increases on your fucking media list every goddamn day. Every day, that's the big headline.

So the Cigar Aficionado list has been published. Very strange this year the way they did it, but still it's been published. When would we like to announce our opinions on the top 25? When can we arrange?

We're not going to tell you who's reading it this year. We can't do my son Jake anymore. He did just make his annual visit. He was here for the weekend because of his grandfather.

I don't understand because of his grandfather, but he did too good. He's dealing with the public and everything over the last several years, and he has picked up a little bit of Spanish, so it's not funny anymore. So we have an alternate arranged. We do have an alternate arranged.

So when do you think we'd like to announce we're going to? Oh, I don't know. Let's see, because we officially have the list. Yes, yes, the list came out the end of last week.

Oh, let's see. Maybe we just come, you want to come to the house or something? You want to take a portable there and we'll just do that review? Uh, yeah, give me a couple days to figure out how the portable works, but the last time we couldn't get the portable to work.

So, yeah, we get, we maybe. If not, I'll, I mean, I'll bring him up here. Let's see how the week plays out and what I'll have to do. Yeah, if not, I will have him brought up here after school.

Uh, that would probably be much better, then we have the set and everything. Okay. And I will, we can do that. All right.

Okay. So, uh, we'll make that a special, a special episode. Okay. All right.

We are going to the TPE. That is next week. Yes. We are going to be.

I have locked in a dinner. Yes. Yes. We are available for one more dinner.

If anybody out there is interested. Wednesday evening is available. Wednesday evening. If anybody wants to buy us food, we like it.

We like food. There is a breakfast on Wednesday morning also. I mean, no, no, wait, wait, we leave. We'll be there like noon on Wednesday.

Okay. So we have Wednesday night dinner already covered or Thursday night? Thursday night. Thursday night.

So that's the night we leave. Well, hopefully it's not like tacos or something. Yeah, so Wednesday night we're available for drinks and food. Ooh, yeah.

And then maybe a breakfast Thursday morning if someone's interested. Yeah, yeah, we're just looking for a complete parlay. Yes, yeah, complete stuff. You know, I want to feel loved.

I want to feel the retailer love that I see some of these are. He's got a big buy he can do if somebody is, you know, wanting to sway him. You know, I see all these other retailers, they get, you know, they get like... Weekend holidays in places, they get massages, condos, massages.

They get everything. They get all this kind of treatment. Right, and we get no love. Everybody's afraid of us.

That's the difference. It's what's called fear, which is fine. Nothing is off the air with these people. " Just by you coming in and saying, making that statement, makes me well aware that you are nervous.

Oh, happy birthday to Mr. John. Why did the red light flash? We never had the red light flash.

Oh, I don't know. Happy birthday, Mr. John Converse. John Converse, Perdomo.

With Perdomo Cigars. Today is his birthday. Mm-hmm. Let's see.

C. will require COVID-19 vaccines to enter cigar bars. You guys are just fucked up, man. You're just fucked up.

, you must show proof of vaccination. Mayor Muriel Bowser announced- How much time are you wasting on stupid shit when you guys are making fucking progress for your people? Oh, it's not just cigars, apparently. I don't care what it's for.

Oh, okay. The new requirement for certain types of businesses, mostly notable restaurants, bars, and gyms, but also includes cigar bars within the District of Columbia. Any person 12 years old or older will have to show proof. Oh, so if you're 11, you can go to any cigar bar you want.

Are they allowed to ask my age? Yes. I'm going to tell them I'm 11. Proof.

Proof of age. I don't need the proof of age. What, do you want me to carry my verse? You've only had to receive one dose.

Just the one. Just the one. Just the one. Just the tip.

Doesn't matter, there's two. Just for a second. And a bumper. Even though that vaccination was designed more for the Delta variant than it was the Omicron.

Right. I mean, I'm not a scientist or anything, but just some things that you're doing, politicians, just don't fucking make sense. While cigar bars were specifically mentioned, ooh, they are hardly the only business that will be effective. Restaurants, bars, coffee shops, and more or less any place that has sit-down areas for assuming food or beverage included.

" What did you say everywhere? Yeah, because like 2 or 3 percent of the population are cigar smokers, so let's make sure that that's a highlight in the fucking, I mean like none of this makes sense. Right, there's two lists of exemptions that would allow unvaccinated individuals to enter a cigar bar. One is those entering for a quick and limited purpose, for example, just an in and out, picking up an order or making delivery, And those who have been granted exemptions for medical conditions or a sincerely held religious belief.

Right, there you go. So those are the two exemptions. Christ told me, no vax. That's right.

I just don't get it, you know, that's just so stupid. So wait, so as a retailer, you know, I have to fucking vet the person that, well, excuse me, sir, do you have a vaccine? I mean, what the fuck? How long are you planning on staying, sir?

Yeah. Are you going to be in it? Am I throwing cigars at you as you walk in? Are you having a cigar?

Or are you sitting down? I mean, like, all that would do is just piss me off. And it's not even the retailer's fault. No.

You're right. I'll just go next door. Can't go there either because at that bar you got to have a card too. Yeah, but that guy, he doesn't give a fuck.

Like what are the repercussions for the retailers? There's no mention. Yeah. Probably a fine.

How do they? So, but like, so that means there's got to be like a special team of people. Right. A vaccination.

I just want you to know that we walked in here and when we bought a cigar and no one asked us. Are there any unvaccinated people in your store, sir? Right. I don't know.

You don't know? No, he said he was vaccinated. Did he show you the card? It's a credit card.

He paid. Hmm. I mean, paying is always good. I don't care now.

Yeah. Do what you want with the man. They took the leaves, we gave them the money. The Bandolero Firecracker slated for June.

Oh my goodness, Bandolero. United Cigars has announced that this year's firecracker release will be coming from Bandolero. I selected Tobacco. David Garofalo?

No, Ben. What's the guy's name? Ben Doller. Doesn't he run United, your boy?

David Garofalo? Yeah. No, no, that was the people. Cigar Hustler's Podcast.

No, wasn't that the company he had the problem with for making firecrackers? I thought that he's part of them. I don't. Oh, I think maybe he is now.

Yeah. Maybe. Who's number one? Tell me.

Tell me. Who's number one? Cigar Hustler? The Podcast.

They're number one. That's right, David. You tell them, David. That's right, David.

5x50 short rebusos based its blend on that of the Clendenisto line, also known as Series C. This means fillers from the Dominican Republic, Nicaragua, as well as undisclosed tobaccos from Ecuadorian binder and wrapper. The wrapper leaf, however, is one that is generally used on the company's Adventurist line, where they put all these long words, which is also called the Series A. It's called the Series A.

Yeah. Each cigar will, each cigar will, what will they well? They will feature the extended twisted tobacco from the head, designed to look like a wick of firecrackers, keeping with the Bandoleros line specifics, all the tobaccos have been aged for five years, while the cigars have been aged for two years after being rolled. So, age for a total of seven years.

Seven years. Seven. Seven. See, $9 is the MSRP and offering a 20 count box.

It should be in a 20 count Bandolero. You can wear it. Oh, Bandolero. Yeah.

It'll be on display at the upcoming-- See, and that's why you're head of marketing for Cigar House. Cigar Hustlers. That's right. Oh, it's going to be at the TPE.

Maybe we can see them at the TPE. In late January, it's scheduled to ship in June. Production numbers have not yet been disclosed. My partnership with United Cigars has gone beyond the distribution of my cigars, said Nelson Alfonso of Select Tobacco in her press release.

This is family, and I wanted to share my Bandolero blend with this beautiful Vitola. United Cigars also distributes Select Tobacco. Firecracker series was launched in the mid-200s by David... Who's number one?

Cigar Hustler, the podcast. Garofalo of Two Guys Smoke Shop in Nashua, New Hampshire. By the way, the Don... I like that you don't even read these.

The Don... I don't read these before. Garcia Blue... I feel that infringes on the spontaneity of the commenting.

Yeah, you get the real raw experience. Some stories I have to read first, because I have to understand. Right. Limited edition cigar of national brands, including Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust, Fratello, HVC, Crystal...

What? Well, where did we go here? Still means Core Line Firecracker, and also incorporated other series of limited edition cigars from... Oh, the Firecracker.

He's also got a Firecracker from... Don Barton, Rodello, HVC, Christophe, La Florinam, Perdomo, Roma Craft Tobac, and the newly released Poshik Firecracker. Oh, really? Yes.

That's amazing. We're gonna come out with one of those. Oh, you came out with that. That's nice.

No, we. Oh, we came out with that. We, yes. We have to call it something else.

We can't call it the Poshik Firecracker? Like the M80. Oh, the M80. It's a little fat one.

It's bigger around. More explosion. Yeah, it's a three and a half by 70. 5 by 70.

5 by 70. Can you picture this big? Can you picture the fucking people rolling that cigar? They'd be like...

I can picture the Ben Affleck fucking closing his eye, holding a smoke post, like, hey, you guys gotta make these 70 gauge cigars, and they're all three inches. These guys are gonna be like... 54. Is me whore.

Is me whore. Is me whore. 54 is me whore. All right, Michael, that's all the cigar news.

That's all the cigar news? We have some other wonderful news. Ooh, some wonderful news. Yes, man claims his penis shrank one and a half inches from COVID.

The COVID did it? COVID dick is real, say doctors. COVID dick, it's a thing. It's a thing.

Okay. As if contracting COVID wasn't bad enough and dismayed, man now claims he has lost a whopping one and a half inches from the length of his penis as a lingering result of the virus. Now he has an inch? No, it's an inch and a half shorter.

Now he has one. I don't know what it was to start with. Apparently, this story I did read. So like, what kind of, before you get into it.

Sure, sure, sure. Let's just, can we discuss this? Certainly. That's the whole idea of the news.

So this guy goes ahead and he, what does he measure his dick on the regular? I mean... Well, from what I have taken from the article, it was big. He had a very large penis.

Very well endowed, gentlemen. And now it's an inch and a half shorter. Now he's just standard. Now he's just average.

Ah, okay. Now he's just average. Yes. My dick looks smaller.

Yep. If you got fatter, you'll lose an inch. Maybe you got fatter. Well, no, wait till you see why.

I mean, the doctors say it's a real thing. Okay, let's see. All right, my penis has shrunk, the griping guy, in a letter to the How To Do It podcast this week. I'm a heterosexual man in my 30s, he said anonymously, only referring to himself as coming up, stuck together, coming up short, coming up, stuck together.

Yeah, I know. In July of last year, I contracted COVID and was very sick. When I got to the hospital, I had some erectile dysfunction issues, he added, which is a thing, that's a regular side effect. Okay, yeah, yeah.

The purportedly once well-endowed man went on to explain that prior to the diagnosis, he boasted an above average size tool. Above average. But much to his chagrin, he formerly and present privates have simply lost their luster. Less than average.

The erectile dysfunction gradually got better with some medical attention, but I seem to be left with a lasting problem, he confessed. Before I got sick, my penis was above average, not huge, but definitely bigger than normal, and I have lost about an inch and a half and become decidedly less than average. He claimed that a medical advisor had attributed his pecker problems to vascular damage caused by Covid and was warned that the impairment was likely permanent. You now have a small dick.

It shouldn't really matter to the man, Roe, but it has a profound impact on my self-confidence and my abilities in bed. I know that you can't give me back my missing length and girth, but I was wondering if you could give me any advice on what to do now. Now, that's what he said to the podcast, he called. So apparently it's only, it's not only smaller, but less around.

Smaller gauge, like 48. Yeah, smaller gauge, right, right. Instead of a 54. In response to the dude's desperate plea for penis help, Dr.

Charles Welliver, a urologist and director of men's health at Albany Medical College, confirmed the race, the rare but real havoc COVID can wreak on a man's unmentionables. So it is a thing. So we need to ask your brother. Your brother's definitely had it worse than anybody else here.

Anybody else here? Yeah. So, we have dick questions. We have dick questions, Gregory.

Oh, maybe we should ask Alex. I need to ask his princess as he called her today. That's a little weird. Princess.

Yeah, I don't know. Hello, princess. Hello, princess. Shouldn't you be like your queen?

I don't know. Maybe you're the king and queen, so they're the prince and princess. Oh. Hey, princess.

Hey, princess. Very strange. This is daddy. This is daddy.

Alright, Michael, have you noticed that there's some purple streetlights in Florida? Purple streetlights. At night, like on the highway, some are purple, some are white. Now, I was just talking about this the other night, I believe it was Boots when we were coming back from somewhere late.

Yeah. And some of the streetlights are purple. Really? Yes.

So we thought those were purple were like, that's like the new thing. Some kind of anti-glare purple thing or something? That's probably like an indicator of crime. No.

Okay. But that's why I pulled the story. Excellent. Drivers throughout Florida may have noticed some streetlights giving off a wrong kind of glow.

A large number of LED streetlights are shining in a mysterious purple color instead of the normal blue. They have a bright white light. Because they have COVID. Like when you get off of the highway here for the shop at night, what's it, 108?

Uh-huh. Some are white, some are purple there. Gotcha. Yes.

Because of COVID. Because some of them have contracted COVID and now they have small dicks. No, those are the defective ones. Oh, okay.

Lights are defective. According to the Florida Department of Transportation, LED lights are known to be brighter and more efficient than fluorescent bulbs, but they use a special filter to produce white light. The State Transportation Agency said a design flaw in a certain model of the streetlights is turning them blue and purple throughout Florida. T.

spokesman, yes, wrote an email to the Bradenton Herald. S. 41 in Palmetto, on the Sunshine Skyway Bridge, rest stops in Pinellas County, and they're all over the streetlights. So it's a defective one.

So if you see purple, those are wrong, they're all supposed to be white. I like a little purple, that's nice. Yeah, I like the purple better, actually. The purple is more pleasant.

Purple, maybe it was a Prince thing, you know, purple, red. Oh, yeah. In honor of Prince. Or Prince, right.

Did you see all the Betty White stuff that's going on now? She died. Well, right, but like yesterday was Betty White's birthday. So on Google, if you Googled Betty White, rose petals fell from the top of your computer.

Oh. " Oh! That was nice. That is nice.

Last night, Niagara Falls turned everything white. Because of Betty White? Betty White. It was her birthday.

That's nice. Yeah, that's so too. You know, I did see a clip on TV yesterday, which is fucking hilarious. " And she said something like, "The real hookers of Orange County," or something like that.

" She had no filter. She's fucked, that was fucking amazing. Yeah, very funny, fast-witted woman, from what I understand. Yeah, could you imagine her, like, Thanksgiving dinner or some shit?

Right. Fucking hilarious. Right. Alright, now we have a story that was sent in by the audience.

This is our Florida story for the week. Oh, that should be your Listener of the Week, somebody sent it in. Okay. Good idea.

At the end, I will, that will make them Listener of the Week. Okay. Florida woman facing felony charges after pelting a man with containers of glitter. Nice.

Over in Clearwater, Florida, two women are facing a felony charge after police say they went to a man's apartment in Clearwater and started throwing glitter at him during an argument. That's amazing. Do you know how much of a pain he has to get rid of glitter? We can ask Greg that question, too.

Yeah, he still wants Boots to get him a new vacuum. According to the arrest affidavit from Pinellas County, 27-year-old, 27-year-old Caitlin O'Donovan, And 29 year old Sarah Franks went to the man's apartment on Fairwood Avenue. Oh, Donovan started that shit. Good old Irish name.

She's definitely the fighter. Yeah, yeah. m. on Monday and started arguing with them as he stood at his fenced balcony.

Both women threw a container of glitter at the victim during an argument. Do they just have that glitter with them? I know what we're going to do. We're going to throw glitter at Frank.

We're going to blow this motherfucker up. What is his name? Katelyn and 20-year-old Sarah Frank. Those are the two girls.

They didn't say who the man was, did they? Didn't give the man's name. Oh, because it's Frank. He's a victim.

Yeah, they're like, okay, grab the glitter. Grab the glitter. Where do you get glitter at 3am? Two big containers on it?

They just have that shit on standby. They just have it. Maybe they're strippers. They have glitter.

You came in with a plan. Sorry, argue with him as he stood at his fence. Both women threw a container of glitter at the victim during the argument, according to the Clearwater Police. The arrest affidavit stated that the man was hit in the head and torso.

So they're good shots. Oh. Good shot. Maybe they had multiple fucking tubes.

Officers said Franks then climbed over the balcony fence, went into the man's apartment, and threw more containers of glitter at him. So it wasn't just the two. I told you. I knew they had multiple.

They had more. They're not fucking around. She then unlocked the front door to let O'Donovan inside as well, the affidavit said. Right.

She climbed up. She threw more stuff at him. He's like, oh, he's distracted. I'm getting the door.

Right. Oh, my God, all this glitter. O'Donovan, head for the front. I got you.

Threw more containers. According to police, Franks left the apartment complex in a vehicle. That was in trace back to her Seville Boulevard home. The arrest affidavit said the vehicle was still warm to the touch.

It had glitter inside. Evidence. Franks and O'Donovan were both arrested and charged with felony burglary with assault or battery. Franks was also charged with criminal mischief because police said she kicked a window until it broke as she was leaving the apartment.

Nice. That's quite the evening for these two young ladies. You got to give them credit. The only step above that would be throwing the glitter, breaking in, and then on the way in, ripping the fire extinguisher off the wall of the apartment, and then just fucking hosing the entire house, just really kind of laying into him, and then he shows up, cops show up, and he's just covered in white dust, and glitter, and then they could just say it was in honor of Betty White, a huge Betty White fan, he was saying bad things about Betty White, yeah, you don't talk shit about Betty.

Right, he said he fucked her, and then we just went crazy with the glitter. Yeah, we just lost it. All right, then, Lister of the Week. It's going to be Brittany.

It's going to be Brittany. Don't ruin it, Michael. Where's the gong? Oh, there it is.

Cigar Hustler Podcast, Episode 209, Lister of the Week. Brittany, step on, Kevin. You knew it. Thank you, lovely Brittany, for sending me that story.

That is fantastic. Shop of the Week, Michael? Shop of the Week. Well, you know, since Brittany sent in the glitter, Shop of the Week, Cigar Hustler, 829 Deltona Boulevard.

That's a good spot. Deltona, Florida, 32725. I've heard good things about that place. Yes.

They have a new toilet, I understand. Yeah, the owner's very nice. Yes, the owner. Yeah.

The owner's very nice. I will tell you this, you know, what was really funny is after you did your whole announcement, they all did social media posts about their new jobs. Yes. Yes.

Keanu's by far was the fucking funniest. It was the funniest. Because he's got this ruler out and he's like measuring the fucking length of the fridges and stuff. But he's not a cute little blonde with ponytails wearing leather white shorts.

In this industry, being a girl helps. Yes. Yeah, it does. Yes, yes.

She went quite far with that thing. And they were all texting people to get people to help them spread the news too. I love that. That's amazing.

Very nice. Very funny. Very funny. So that's all I got this week, Michael.

That's all? Anything else? That's it? We're at 52?

I mean... What are we going to do on the Patreon this week? This episode dropped very heavy. Yes.

Yes, it did. What are we going to review? The shit show this week is going to be a heavier show. Oh, really?

Yeah, it's just going to be Chet and I. Oh, okay. I need to clear the room. Clear the room.

Interesting. So, what are we doing on the Patreon? Why are you going to clear the room? Because there's certain things we're going to talk about where I want a smaller crowd.

Okay. Yeah. Okay. All right.

Well, it's Chet's wife's birthday today, Rebecca. Rebecca. Yes, it's right, Rebecca. She listens to the other show.

Well, we'll slide in. Happy birthday. Happy birthday, Rebecca Atwell. Yes, we saw her last night over at the new Atwell Hacienda.

Yes. I mean, you know, I feel like for the Patreon, we might as well just go off the fucking deep end. The new Las Provencias Seis or whatever the hell it is has dropped. And I'm curious to see what flavors I can taste from it.

Oh, kind of an expensive cigar to throw the dice. You know, if you're going to go in, you got to, you know, if you're going to be a bear, be a grizzly. Oh, that's what they say. So, so there it is.

All right, so this is an episode 209 of Cigar Hustle, the number two cigar podcast to listen to in 2022, the number one podcast on Podbean still. If you ever go to a theme park, just make sure that you check before you sit down. If you take anything away from this podcast, take that away. Don't sit in the pee.

Don't sit in someone else's pee. Alright guys, we'll talk to you later. Thank you very much. Bye.

Mike and Mike: This has been a Cigar Hustlers Podcast, a Mike and Mike production. m. for all new episodes. What I'm doing, I'm Hoostoe Raw.

Yeah, we just don't have to do a single, uh, single podcast ever again. Perfect. I'm good, Mike and Mike. How are you guys doing?

The Hojo, the... Hojo! It's the Hojo! You didn't even let him fuck it up all the way.

I couldn't get past Hojo! I don't even have to try it. He's not even gonna try. We're gonna, we're gonna cover a lot of ground here, Mike.

All right. Try to keep up. That's a sign of a good podcast. It would be like four cigars when I walked in the door.

Alright, end this.

Show Notes

This week we lost a good man...Mikey pees himself at Universal...and more price increases!