Cigar Hustlers Podcast 235 Pre PCA

Episode Summary

Episode 235 is the Cigar Hustlers' pre-PCA show, recorded days before the crew heads to Las Vegas for the 2022 PCA Trade Show. The hosts open with Fourth of July banter, studio/camera troubles, and a long riff on travel logistics — one car, one departure time, and no waiting for stragglers — before setting up running bets on how many times someone will ask "How's your brother?" and which day of the show Palmer finally loses his cool. Adrian, Baby Grande's girlfriend, Arlen, Phil, and Greg are all part of what the hosts call the biggest entourage they've ever brought to a trade show.

The heart of the episode is a day-by-day walk through the official PCA schedule: Friday check-in and set-up, the Fuente seminar and State of Retail talks they plan to skip, the PCA Government Affairs Seminar sponsored by United Cigar Group, and the opening night cocktail party sponsored by Crowned Heads and Ace Prime. Saturday brings the annual membership meeting breakfast, early VIP/media access for interviews, and a happy hour cigar lounge sponsored by Toscano. Sunday features education tech talks, best-booth voting (the hosts push listeners toward booth 660), a happy hour hosted by Espinosa Cigars, and PCA Member Night at Marquee. Monday includes the Q&A with the PCA Executive Committee, meet-the-board sessions, the Best in Show booth awards, and a Boveda-sponsored happy hour, with the show wrapping Tuesday at 1 p.m.

They then run the headlines of new and show-only releases, with plenty of skepticism about what "PCA exclusive" actually means once a brand doesn't sell through its allocation. Releases mentioned include Ace Prime's Mas Ignius and Maria Lucia, All Saints Vesper Petite Corona, Casa 1910 and Casa Cuevas Sangre Nueva, Dapper's Major Mike Connecticut Shade, E.P. Carrillo's Pledge Lonsdale Limitada, Espinosa's Suave Maduro, 601 La Bomba Warhead VIII and Knuckle Sandwich Figurado Oscuro, Foundation's Olmec and Amalek, Gran Habano Aniversario Edición Limitada, Gurkha Pure Evil, HVC 500 Years, La Flor Dominicana Solis, Padrón Family Reserve No. 96, Oscar Valladares' Ortez Connecticut, Crux Limitada The Show 2022, Dunbarton's Mi Querida Sakakon, Blackworks Studio Shaolin, Quesada Oktoberfest, Room 101's 13th Anniversary and Big Payback Nicaragua, and the Tatuaje PCA 2022. The show closes with a Florida-man story about a neighbor accused of killing a pet rooster, a rant about outdoor cats, and Shop of the Week honors for The Office Cigar Lounge in Indiana.

In This Episode

1. 01
   Fourth of July and Studio Fuckery
   Fireworks debris, neighborhood Facebook drama, a repo'd truck, and mid-show audio and camera problems.
2. 02
   Travel Rules for the PCA Crew
   One car, one departure time, and the hosts' anxiety about hauling their largest-ever entourage to Las Vegas.
3. 03
   Running Bets and Show Contests
   Listeners are invited to guess how many times someone asks 'How's your brother?' and when Palmer melts down.
4. 04
   The PCA 2022 Schedule, Day by Day
   A full rundown of seminars, annual meeting, after-hours cigar lounges, member night at Marquee, and booth awards.
5. 05
   Show-Only Cigars and 'PCA Exclusive' Skepticism
   Why the hosts doubt exclusivity claims, using Padrón's approach as the example of doing it right.
6. 06
   New Release Headlines
   Rapid-fire coverage of PCA debuts from Espinosa, Foundation, Ace Prime, Dunbarton, Room 101, Tatuaje and more.
7. 07
   Cigars They Most Want to Smoke
   Mike's personal hit list, from Ace Prime Maria Lucia and Crux Limitada The Show to Blackworks Shaolin and Quesada Oktoberfest.
8. 08
   Florida Story, Cat Rants, and Shop of the Week
   A neighbor arrested over a pet rooster, a tirade about outdoor cats, and The Office Cigar Lounge in Indiana earns Shop of the Week.

Brands & Cigars Discussed

Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.

Transcript

I did like a signal. You did like a... You can count me now. Yeah.

Yeah. You can hear me. Welcome to Scar Hustler Podcast, episode 235. The pre-PCA show, Mike.

The pre-PCA show. I can't figure out which cameras. I'm still getting used to that, stop me and my camera over there. Remember the old days, we just had the one?

Yep. Didn't work half the time. Yeah. Where we looked squished.

Piping the sounds. Still working on that with the Y or something wrong. You too can become part of our podcast family and invest in our show. Put your products in front of thousands of listeners and viewers every week.

We're heard on 13 different podcast providers weekly all around the world. Have your ad read right here in this spot. com. Mm.

Mm-hmm. Did you have a good 4th of July, Michael? Yeah, it was kind of chill. You had quite a little set-up there.

That was not my set-up. We went to, like, a family friend's house. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And, you know, I think he refied on his house in order to have... Fireworks? Oh, those are his fireworks. Oh, yeah, he went...

I ain't fucking doing it. No, no, I thought maybe it was, like, a park or somebody nearby or something. No, that was all him. That was all him.

Not me. My house, it was like the Normandy invasion, they were going off everywhere. Oh, but you didn't bite. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we have our dogs, especially the little dog has a problem with the fireworks, so we normally just sort of bunker into the bedroom and shut the door and...

So you're like one of those fucking curmudgeon-y old Facebook people, like... Just remember... No, we never say anything. The dogs are scared and people with PTSD...

We don't say anything, we don't complain, we just stay home. Somebody in my neighborhood got their fucking truck repoed? During the 4th of July? During the Fourth of July?

The day of. Oh. And it made it, it was all over the Facebook page. Like somebody had a video of it being fucking towed away.

Oh, nice. On TV. The whole shabat. And you dragged it?

Oh, yeah. Cause like the brakes were sideways. Apparently the person jumped into the truck at the time when it was being repoed. Oh, that's always good.

There's a whole circus. And I'm thinking to myself, I'm like, God damn, you guys need to just fucking chill. What? You're all, you're putting this guy's, you know, shit on blast.

Right. Like you're going nuts. But, you know, I'm pretty sure that the person that got the thing towed, I think that he's one of those, they're one of those people that are like, you know, think of people and think of others for fireworks. I feel like they're one of those people.

That's why everybody was kind of going off. But, you know, you got to draw the lines. This morning we had the post with, uh, nobody's cleaning up the stuff. The firework people are not cleaning up their mess that they shot into the non-firework people.

Please sweep up your messes. Right. Give me a fucking break. I'll say one guy.

It takes two seconds. You know what? If this shit's in your way, just clean it the fuck up. I don't care if it was yours or not.

You would get mad if it was all over your yard. Nah, I wouldn't. That's what the lawnmower's for. It just goes, it's fucking, yeah, fertilized.

You don't cut your grass still though, right? The kid? Ah, yeah, look at the neighborhood. Ah, somebody carried it.

It's not even your lawnmower. Yeah, it's not even my lawnmower. It's not even your lawnmower at this point. Hey, I'm getting signals for Phil.

Can we pause? All right, apparently we're having a technical problem. We need to take a quick break. All right, hold on.

Alright, small technical problems. Your headphones sound okay in your head? Yeah, it's very loud now. It's very loud.

I don't know what number you are. Okay, tell me when you hear nothing at all anyways. Nothing at all? I'm obviously two.

If I hear nothing at all, then that's a problem. Can you hear anything at all? I can still hear, yeah. I have an amazing voice, and now I can hear it crystal clear right now.

It's crazy. Oh, nope, nothing. No, nothing. Nothing, not a damn thing.

Okay, it's in your three. Okay, there we go. And four is the camera. And I'm too, I don't know who one is.

Camera one, camera two. One might be Phil. I don't know. Okay.

We have five things, we're going to do four, Jack, so somebody shares, I think three and four share. So this seat and that seat would share, I believe. All right, but we're back on. Yeah, and we're gunning for me to be deaf, apparently, because my volume is still on fucking 110%.

It's still too low now. Too low? A little higher. I clicked it two.

So back up one. Let's do me one. Yeah, meet me halfway. Right there?

That's good. Split the baby, god damn it. Such problems. Phil's making more hand gestures.

More hand gestures. More hand gestures. Oh, the complete fuckery that is this show. I swear to God.

So what the hell were we talking about? Your... Where were we talking? Oh, the debris in the air.

He's gotta run it over. Yeah, yeah. It's not your lawnmower. It's not my problem.

You don't care. You had nothing to do with it. Hey, you guys, make sure you sweep up your mouses. Give me a fucking break, dude.

Come on. Wow, you don't like a clean neighborhood? No, it's like I wouldn't lose my shit about it. It's one day, it's not a big deal.

You know, it's not like somebody's letting their dog shit on my yard every day and they're staring in my fucking window like ha ha ha, you know what I mean? Oh, you can just run that over with a lawnmower too. Yeah, you can just run that over too with a lawnmower as a matter of fact. Again, not your lawnmower.

Yeah, not my fucking problem. Your problem. You're right. You know, I just, I gotta pick and choose my battles.

And these, the fireworks, debris is just not... Not the one, huh? If there's a battle, then I'm not willing to die on that hill. Oh, that's good.

Not the hill you want to die on. Yeah. Nope. Nope.

Not today. Not today, ISIS. Not today. Oh, I haven't used that phrase in a long time.

Yeah, man. That's because we haven't heard much from them. That's true. Yeah, yeah.

Dropped the mother of all bombs a while ago, and that was kind of the end of it. And they're like, "We won when you left. " And then that was, you know... We don't care anymore.

Yeah. Fine. You can have your country back. I got a flat tire Friday with mom.

Oh. And her car. Yeah. The spare tire was flat.

Yes, that makes sense. Oh, yeah. Might as well have the backup tire not working. It's the original spare from 2005.

It had to be. It was dry rotted. Wow. Styrofoam and everything's still in there.

I mean, it never, probably a little compartment, never been opened in the truck, never been used. So we got towed, and then went ahead and put four tires on the car. You're a very busy man these days. Quite the ordeal.

You know? " She doesn't have AAA. Yeah, but didn't she have roadside assistance with her fucking car insurance? No, apparently that is the one place dad decided to save money, did not opt for the roadside assistance.

Oh. But, when I took her car back to her on Saturday, she's going with her wallet, and she found her AAA Premier Megalodon yada yada card, so she had AAA. You just had Megalodon and yada yada. Yeah, I mean, it's almost a platinum AAA card.

Right. Probably never been used. No. No.

They're just collecting. Right. Yeah. Happy as a clam.

Happy as a clam. Right. Got her again. They probably fucking charged that card and they all start laughing.

Every September we found out, we found out the date, the renewed date is September. Oh, yeah. Like, oh, we're watching it. We got some more money from that lady.

Never called us since 1800 when she got the car. Yeah. Ever since she upgraded from the wagon. Wow.

Oh, I mean, the weekend was pretty easy for me. I didn't fucking do much. Yeah. Oh, we did yard work mostly.

And then just sort of sat around. It's like, you don't want to have a crazy weekend going into the fucking PCA. Right. You know what I mean?

You want to just kind of, I'm going to chill, I'm going to take, because I'm going to tell you right now, for me, anxiety is already building. " Oh yeah? Yeah. It always happens whenever I travel.

Right. " Oh, this is a bigger group than we've ever taken, too. I know. That's extra.

Oh, you know what, let's, let's, let's run, I'm going to run a couple things before we get into the details of the PCA. Let's, since the, since Phil is here and Phil is going to be attending and we're going to add Phil, Phil, we're micing you in. And you know, since we're all going to, I, I gotta be honest. I think first of all, you and I will, I would say 95% of the time when we, when we travel, even though we, we have gone on each other's nerves, we're at least on the same page when it comes to everything.

Right. There's been no, uh, no, no physical, uh, fights or anything. And there's no like, I mean, you have this tendency to kind of panic and you want to just take control at the helm. Right.

That's you. Yeah, I like them. And I'm like, fucking just chill. You gave in to the lead time, though, for the airport today.

I did. In my comfort zone. I did, I did. Because I know that this is one of the things.

You have this thing. This is what I need. This is what I need. This is what I need.

I don't like to get to the airport and go from the car to the airport to the plane, just all one... Yeah, just the fucking... Yeah, just no stopping. Yeah, I'm all about...

No time for delays, no time for possible problems. That's how we roll. I'm all about as efficient as... No bathroom trips.

You gotta be as efficient as... No, can't. On the plane. You can go on the plane.

You piss in there. That's it. Efficient as possible. No fuckery.

Okay. But anyway, what did you want? Okay. So first and foremost, I just want to, you know, to be perfectly clear.

There's one car, right? Yes. Phil. Phil, there's one vehicle.

Yes. Okay. Yes. I informed him of that.

When the train fucking leaves, the train fucking leaves. Like we are not fucking, if it's like, hey, we're out of here at 10 o'clock, we're fucking out of here at 10 o'clock. It isn't 10:15. It isn't.

So you can wash your ass one more time. there's none of that shit we're going right and if we fucking and i'm gonna tell you right now because palmer palmer will be ready we ain't fucking waiting for anybody whether it's you or it's my fucking brother we're out you guys can fucking uber period right right because if they if if it goes that way right if we sit if we say hey we're gonna go this time right then all of a sudden they start dragging ass you and i are gonna lose our fucking minds oh yeah we're gonna start to get And that's just gonna fuckin' echo throughout the entire day, right? Right. So instead, this is what we're gonna do.

Okay. We're gonna let them know, you will be ready at this time. If you are not ready at this time... Train's leaving, that's it!

Boop, boop, we're outta here! You're fuckin', you go ahead and you hit the fuckin' app, you hit the button, and hopefully it's not JJ, because if he cancels on you, you're gonna have nobody to pick you up. That's a joke from the other podcast that you'll have to listen to. Oh, look at you.

But yeah. I'll be ready. All right, okay. Yeah, none of that, I'll be there in six minutes.

And then you show up 15 minutes later. I'm always on time. Okay. You're never on time.

Whatever. You're never on time. Your podcast sidekick behind you is going, no, he's never on time. You are permanently on island time without fucking question.

Always. Hey, where are you? Oh, I'm in awesome. It's always six minutes.

I'm like, how? Okay, so when do you come to shop? Oh, I'll be there in 10 minutes. I'm like, you're 30 fucking minutes away.

I'm going to be in the same house as you guys. There's no way. It doesn't mean you're ready on time. It doesn't matter.

Okay. Maybe a dead snooze one too many times. That's another thing. Okay.

I understand that you want to go and visit the floor and see people and stuff like that, right? But I'm going to be pissed if you fucking disappear for the entirety of the fucking show and you're just fucking around on this floor. Why would I disappear? Because it's a big floor.

We know how you get. I want to leave you guys this side of the great smoke. You're like shiny things. There'll be celebrities.

Let me touch him. I've got to go. Oh, there's LeBron. Oh, LeBron?

He could be. There's Shorty, there's the guy with the dog, Shorty's here. Shorty's always there with the dog. From an athlete standpoint, I think that, you know, we're lucky if we come across Ed Reed, and hopefully he'll be there.

Oh, Ed. Because I know that, you know, you'd lose your mind if you saw Ed Reed. He's a super nice guy. Right, yeah, he was nice.

I mean, Darren Waller did pop in a TPE. Yep. So... And we're right next to whoever that guy is I don't like.

Ike. Ike... Ike Turner? Ike Turner?

No, it's not Ike Turner. Oh. Taylor. Ike Taylor.

Oh, yeah. He's a super, he's a good guy. Yeah, I didn't like him. Yeah, because he fucked with you.

He fucked with me. He fucked with your pots and pans. Fucked with my pots and pans. I'm going to take my pan with me and I'll whack him upside the head with that.

I don't know. I don't know if Karl Malone will be there or not. Oh, Karl Malone. Oh, he's already excited about that.

I think he's got an erection over there right now, I think so. I already told Palmer that I get to scream in the mirror before we leave the room. You get to scream. What?

Every morning he's going to act like there's a celebrity in his room and just scream. I'm going to tell you right now, I don't give a fuck if you scream in the mirror in your room as long as you're in the car when we say get in the fucking car. That's all that matters to me, because if not, I am not, we'll go fucking grab, Mike and I will leave and just go grab breakfast somewhere and just fuck you guys, man, we're just out. I just, if they ask who I'm with, I just won't say you guys, in case I'm embarrassing you.

Oh, you won't embarrass me. I don't give a shit. I don't care if you want to act like a fucking two year old. That's, that's all good.

Are we going to the gym before? As long as you're there on time. It depends upon how that, well, so like we're going to arrive on Friday, right? I'm thinking that I'm going to do the gym beforehand, like Wednesday, I'm going to do a back-to-back, like a Wednesday-Thursday thing, and then not worry about being at the gym on Friday.

But then come Monday, we gym. Before we get on the plane. We get on the plane on Tuesday. Is it Monday?

I don't even, I don't, I, nobody has sent me the. I don't know, we don't fact check, we don't fact check. Let me see here. Well, first of all, we need Delta fucking pilots to show up.

Let's start there. I'll be in the car. I'll be in the car. Good.

Yeah, the 12th, Tuesday. We do fly back on Tuesday. Yeah, so that means one day of working out. Okay.

I'm going to try, you know. Yeah. Is Monday the last show or Tuesday? The last day of the show.

" Which is what the majority of people, you know, like, the show is way too long. Do we have anything that we have to go get? I don't know. I don't know what all you've sent.

Did you send a show banner? Because I've got one sitting over there. I don't remember if I... There were like flags that went for the post-onions.

But for the podcast, you wanted the podcast banner. Oh. I don't know if that went with stuff you sent. I don't know, you have to ask Greg.

I got one over there. He won't know. That's a good point. If it was for us, he didn't send it anyway, so.

Yeah, but I sent four boxes of shit, so. And then, you know, of course, so here's another, this is my life. This is my life. Right.

Hey, Greg, I need everything ready by Thursday so I can ship it out. Okay, no problem. Like, Thursday's the last day. Last Thursday.

Yeah, Thursday was the last day for me to ship shit out, right? He's like, Monday, 4th of July, it's a holiday, so we need to get this shit out Thursday, okay? Friday, everything's, ugh, I'm dealing with this, everything's gotta go in boxes, I'm like, okay, so this all needs to go out, I'm like, okay, well guess what, motherfucker, you now get to three day overnight this bullshit, instead of standard ground, and you're gonna pay up the fucking ass to get these things there on time, if not, they don't arrive until the 11th. He was very busy.

Super busy. Super busy. Super busy. Super busy.

So that's fucking, so $400 later of shipping product, instead of it being $60. Oh, nice. That's, you know. That's the way it works.

Shit would go a lot easier if everybody just fucking listened to me. You know? You know? I feel like a lot of camera twos happened so far.

What do you think? Have we had a camera change? We started on camera one. I know that because I was looking at three.

He had it on you when you were talking about the fireworks. Oh, nice. Good for you. Good for you, Phil.

All right, well, there have been some changes to the show, according to the PCA. Okay, wait, wait, before you wait, just one more thing. One more thing that drives me nuts. Okay, and I'm going to need you to tally this for me.

Right? Okay. Like, you can't tally it right now. You're going to have to tally it through the adventure of the fucking...

Oh, through the thing. All right, I'll keep track as it goes. Number one question. Okay, so here's the thing.

Oh! So when you're dealing, so when salespeople are trying to talk with you, What they always do is they try and find a filler to kind of break the ice. So, like, the fucking standard one is: "So how was your trip? " Oh, you want to keep track of how was your trip?

No, I don't want to keep track of that one because that one's kind of your standard, right? And we're going to fucking hear that a lot. " The one that I can't fucking stand, do you know? Do you know what it is?

Well, I don't know which one you choose. " Well, he'll be there. I know. Oh.

So, how's your brother? People might not recognize him. So, how's your brother? He's virtually unknown at this point.

But don't worry, when we go rogue, we won't be around him all the time. Right, right. " Oh. And if somebody guesses the number right, or if somebody comes close to the number, we'll send them a- The person who comes the closest.

Yeah, we'll send them a little gift package. Oh. Oh, you still owe an ashtray, by the way, to the Morrisons. We never sent that?

We. We. No. What kind of ashtray?

I don't even know. They mentioned to me that they never got the ashtray. Is it the Powstanie one? I remember them winning an ashtray, but I don't remember which ashtray.

I think they did win an ashtray. I think it was the Powstanie ashtray. It's nice to abuse them. Well, yeah.

Yeah. Right. Because I get the brunt of these complaints. I expect you to handle these things.

That was your contest. It wasn't even show related. It's our contest. It was something I had to do with the shop or something.

Did it? Yeah. Are you sure? I think that they're right I don't think they're wrong I don't think they're trying to get one over They don't strike me as Let's get two ashtrays We'll tell Palmer we didn't get one After Amanda killed Wabi or at least tried to You don't want to fuck with the Morrises Send the ashtray Leave the cannolis You didn't mention Adrian's going too To the show I found her some play friends Oh yeah?

Yes. Excellent. Baby Grande is bringing his girlfriend. Okay.

And Arlen is now going. She doesn't speak any English. That's okay. Adrian speaks a little Spanish.

Like hola? No, no. She legitimately speaks a little Spanish. Really?

Yeah. Interesting. Now, I have no verification of whether or not Jamie's going. So I don't know.

But I asked Skip yesterday if Arlen was going, and he said yes. Interesting. I said, oh, I said, come on, hang out with Adrian, but the pool, and we have a pool at the house we're getting. The pool, the pool.

And he hearted. He hearted the pool. He hearted that they could hang out together. Yeah, they'll probably hang out at the pool at the Venetian.

Yeah, that'd probably be a better move anyway. It'd be a nicer pool, at least. And then she is where we are in case something else changes. Okay.

So we don't have to send for her. This should be interesting. Right. It's going to be very interesting, Michael.

Quite the crowd we're bringing. Like an entourage. Yeah, I know. It's just going to keep getting bigger and bigger.

No, it's not. No, we're not? No, no. Next year, Tia goes, and Phil's wife comes, and then, you know.

I don't know why anybody would want to bring their wife to the show. Great. I like my wife to see the things that I do. I understand why you're bringing it, but I don't know why.

Tia would fucking be miserable. She'd fucking hate it. Well, she'd hang out at the pool with Adrian. For five days.

For five days. It's a lot of pool time. Adrian likes hanging out by the pool. She sits in the backyard, but with the dog.

Alright, so like, so hey, why don't, why don't we make a bet, Phil, as to when fucking Palmer loses his shit? Like, he gets stressed out. You want me to keep it, keep a tally? Yeah, yeah, yeah, like, like, where, where's the breaking point that you can see it on Palmer's face?

Day two. I think it's day two? Oh, you think it's day two? So that's Saturday, just off the rip?

Yeah. Oh. Yeah. I think it's gonna be right about dinner time.

Right around dinner, wow, he seems like he's got it dialed in. Wow, wow, hmm, hmm. Where would I go? I mean, 'cause, I mean, realistically, I think like Sunday, you know, Well, you could already recoup from that, like you could already have the fucking, the stress, it's over with, and then you're moving on, and then like, it actually, you could blow up again, come Monday.

Oh, so you're thinking two? Oh, at least a minimum, at least a minimum of two blow ups. What am I blowing up about? I don't know.

Oh, it just doesn't matter, just something that stresses you. Something that stresses you. Yeah, something that overly stresses you. Right.

D. King Palmer. Oh, it didn't involve, sir? Oh, yeah, well, it could be Friday.

I was gonna say Friday. On the plane. It'll be Friday. I was going to say Friday.

No, if I get her to the airport, she's okay. She's not a good flyer, but she'll be, I mean, so she grabs somebody's arm when she takes off and landing. Yeah. It's not always me.

It could be somebody on the other side of her. Do we all have separate seats? Gases into their eyes. I tried to put them together for the most part, and then I think I tried to give all of us aisle seats like in the section.

I think. I think that was my mind. We normally sit across aisle. Why can't I travel?

Yeah. That way we can hold hands. Palmer hates that next to me. He figured that out at Universal.

Oh, yeah, he's, he's, he's, he hogs a sea. He's a bear. Yeah, he's very wide. Yeah.

He's very bulky. I can, yeah, I can understand that. Right. That makes sense.

All right. I got, I got stuck in one ride, I mean, I was gonna freak out. What ride? I don't remember.

I won't get in the- Harry Potter. Oh, it was the Harry Potter where they turned you in. Oh, yeah, fuck that, that thing's claustrophobia to the fucking gills. Yeah, my lanyard got snagged.

Oh, yeah, that's fucking- And then I'm trying to get my arm under to get that loose. Oh, that made it worse. worse situations just getting yeah just getting worse i almost had to yell give me out now yeah that's one of those things those are oh that's the ride where you got to kind of bulk up your chest when they fucking click you in so they used to have a little bit of space a little bit of room stretch it out right fuck that i can't even do the hulk i try not to do the hulk in the middle anymore the hulk roller coaster we'll see i was on the end of the harry potter thing and that's worse because then you're up against no it's just a wall but like if you do the hulk you got like this freedom yeah yeah yeah i had the end piece but him this arm had to ride like this yeah i'm What am I doing on the ends on roller cozzies? Why not?

Are you afraid to fall out or something? Yeah. You're such a pussy. You are not going to fall out.

You're a large man, Phil. If I'm in the middle, I got someone to grab onto. Oh, great. We're all going.

You are such a puss. Taking us all down with him. Great. Ridiculous.

Okay. Well, tell me about the PCA change. I have some PCA from here. I have the complete schedule of the events.

Okay. Which we can go through and decide what we're going to do, what we're not going to do. All right. I'm going to tell you we're probably not going to do any of them.

No, no. There's some things I want to do. You had asked me if there were cigars I was looking forward to trying or getting, I have that. Ooh, I have a couple that I'm excited about now.

Okay, but according to the PCA, there are more show-only products available this year than ever before. Okay. I don't know if there is or not, but we'll find out, I guess. They have an after-hour cigar bar every day now.

Interesting. Instead of everybody leaving, you know, they normally go to the circle bar or whatever, they're providing an after-hour cigar. And it's sponsored every day by a different company. Okay.

That sounds, that could be cool. That's one of the things on the schedule. That could be cool. It could be fucked up, but that could be cool.

It's nice to see him take that stab. All right. They're going to do their annual meeting at the show. Do they normally do that?

They used to do the annual meeting at breakfast. Oh, is that what the meeting is, where you get the free breakfast? It's like, okay, everybody got your fucking eggs all in favor of this. And no one says anything.

They're like, whatever, give me my fucking, give me my bagel and I'm on my way. You know, they're like, okay, new board members. And you're just like, are we playing bingo? What the fuck?

I don't remember that at the breakfast. Yeah, it's there. All right, and I obviously just didn't pay attention at all. That's because we usually do grand lux.

Fuck the bullshit. " This is fun, I want to try this out, yeah. You can go to that stupid meeting where you get locked in forever, and then remember, "I don't want to leave. Anybody else leave me?

" Opening night party, which they do anyway. I don't know why they said that was new. They always do that. Last year, I think it was Espinosa sponsored the opening night party, I think.

Or maybe that was TPE. I don't know. No, opening party I think at TPE was like Drew Estate or some shit. Wasn't that that big one with the pool?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where Justin Andrews was, you know, fucking in love with Matt Booth. Right, apparently we know why now. Remember the guy never answered the phone?

They were courting. Yeah, there was, yeah. m. Is that set up day Friday or it's Thursday?

I think Friday set up day. Friday set up day. All right, there was a Fuente seminar. I don't wanna go to that.

Nope. No, we're not going to that. State of retail? Nope.

No, that's in the afternoon. Skip it. m. Tell me the other ones, I wanna know the other ones.

PCA Government Affairs Seminar, sponsored by United Cigar Group. Eh. Skip. Yeah, that's all that day.

That day's not a lot going on. But then the opening night cocktail party sponsored by Crown Heads and Ace Prime, though, from 6 to 8. I think we'll go to that, especially with Boots and Adrian might enjoy the little party things. Sure, sure.

All right, let's see, Saturday, you can get in, let's see, where's the annual meeting of the membership? Oh, that's the breakfast, 9 to 10. There you go. There it is.

Early trade show entry for the VIPs and media access. So that's when we'll have all our interviews, people will want to come in. Yeah, of course. Our booth will be packed at that time.

It'll be crazy. Let's see. At 11, the show opens. Okay.

And then lunch, it's at the food court, it's no big deal, it's just lunch. Yeah, we won't be partaking in that. We're not getting lunch? I won't be.

How do you get your chicken? Are you packing chicken? I was thinking about going to buy some chicken when I was out there. Oh, well, yeah, Greg's already said our first thing we're doing, we're going to Costco.

Yeah, of course. Get all the supplies. Of course. Right.

But like, I wonder if there's a grill at the Airbnb. I think there is, actually. There you go. You get a meal prep for the week?

Fuck yeah, man. I keep it easy peasy, baby. Fucking chicken breast. Just stick them in the oven.

I just grill them. All right. And then on that day, there's a happy hour cigar lounge sponsored by Toscano Cigars. I don't know if I'm going to go to that one or not, because it's Toscano Cigars.

Wind down after a long day with drinks, special light Italian eats, and continued networking to the end of the day in a high note, smoking a Toscano Master Age, a new range of Toscano Those cigars, that's those little Clint Eastwood cigars. I mean, whatever, we'll see, like, it's nice that they have all this stuff, I'm glad that they're doing it, but, you know, I'm more of a fucking, decide right then and there if I'm doing anything type of a person, right, it's like, yeah, we're going there, fuck that, you know. All right, oh, I figured that party, we could probably skip, maybe that's when we go get your seven pounds of sushi. Ooh, oh, yes.

All right, well, write that in, Saturday night, all you can eat. That might be Friday, dude, who knows? Well, we gotta go to the Crown Heads, because our friend Wes will be there. Do you think they're gonna feed us?

I don't know. Maybe. Who knows? Alright, Sunday, 8am, check-in registration opens.

Yeah. Okay, then the education tech talks at 9am. No? Alright, government affairs breakdown session.

Is that, that's the big long one, isn't it? Oh, it's only an hour. But that's the one that seems like it takes. Like, the funny part is that nobody knows.

Nobody knows. It takes forever. Voting opens for best trade show booth. We should flood the box with ours.

Everybody vote for 660 please. Yeah, I think that's our booth number. It is. I hope so.

We're talking it up. If not, you guys are all gonna have fun at 660. m. They let people in.

Lunch again. Meet the board. Mary Schmarts. I don't even know who that is.

And then at 2 o'clock, there's Todd Naif. Yeah. , Happy Hour Cigar Lounge, sponsored by Espinosa Cigars. Oh.

That's Sunday night. I have to go to that one. Yeah. Go see our friends at Espinosa.

Eric. Yes. Jack. Right, and Eric, maybe Eric have the magazine with the prices written in it for the new cigar.

You know, I'm sure Guy will be there. Oh, probably, yeah. Oh, oh, they're bringing him to the trade show. Listen.

They didn't TPE him. If you get into the cigar industry, because you want to be into the cigar industry, how do you not go to the PCA? You can skip TPE. Right.

How do you not go to PCA? Good point. I'm willing to bet that he'll be there. Right.

m. Yes. m. Uh-huh.

We sleep. Drenched after dark. Drenched after dark. PCA member night at the Marquee nightclub.

Oh. First 500 people with trade show badges get in for It's free, before 1am. They draw the line at 500? Well, the first trade show badge, get in free, and a free drink.

The first 200 get in free with a free drink. 500 you just get in. Hmm. So the only end...

I don't know what Phil's doing. He's showing his ID. He's gonna have his badge. He's showing his badge.

Hey, Monday! He's very excited. It's like fucking bringing a kid to a fucking candy store. 10 to 3.

So just a couple hours later, Monday, check-in and registration opens again. , a Q&A with PCA Executive Committee. We should go to that stupid question. Yeah.

Is Eladio here? Yeah. We're looking for Eladio. We'd like to thank Mr.

Pierce for always being on our podcast. Where's he at? Yeah. Is he awake today?

Is he here? Where's Mr. Pierce? Media press conference.

I haven't yet to hear anything about a trampoline or a Velcro wall, and I feel like that's an epic fail. Hold on, we're coming into that, I think, right here. 10 to 11, early trade show. Trade show in here again.

More trade show, lunch, meet the board, Jay Davis, meet the board, Jessica. Jay Davis on the board? Apparently. Blue Smoke Dallas.

Don't know, that's cool. Doesn't say who he is. Jessica Hudson? Oh yeah, shit, Christian is her husband.

Christian E-Roll? Damn it, damn it, just for him, is the name of the research. Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh. Boom, come on now. Scott Regina, nominating trade show and finance committee. All right, then at 3:30, best in show booth awards.

We should probably be that so we can get our award. Yeah. At least have representation. Maybe we sing Greg.

Of course. We'll tell Greg we're going to win and let him go. Yeah. Yeah.

" There you go. m. m. happy hour that day, sponsored by Boveda.

Ooh, everybody's going to be nice and humid. You're right. In a dry... In a dry...

They should have one gigantic Huma pack. Just one drink. No, one huge Huma pack there. So that everybody can kind of like moisture up being in Vegas.

Oh. Like a 75%-er? No? Okay.

Alright, then Tuesday the show ends from 9 to 1. When you focus, you focus. You're just so focused on this description shit. On Tuesday what now?

Tuesday the show's over at 1. Yeah, we'll probably go that night. Because you gotta go to the gym. Not on Tuesday.

Is that Phil's phone did you just ring? No. Oh, your phone? No.

Not my phone. Okay. All right, now, since you did not like discussing the PCA news, I have only the headlines this week. Okay.

It was just so fucking ridiculous. Oh, well, it's worse. I mean, look at all of them. Here's the funny part about the whole, first of all, here's what kills me about, oh, PCA is only, they're having more exclusive cigars.

Right. So what exactly does that mean? Because what happens if, if you have a PCA exclusive cigar, like Padrón did it right last year. They said, Hey, camera, camera three, Phil, get off your phone, he's on his phone again, he's on his phone, you're about to be replaced with Ginger, he's over there waving his hands angrily behind you, okay, so, so, look, Padrón did it right last year with a PCA, they said, Hey, here's a PCA exclusive cigar, when you guys, once we determine the number of the cigars, then we'll make the cigars, right, oh, right, they have one this year, yeah, it took a little longer to get out, right, that way, because that, but that's standard fucking welcome to the cigars.

Cigar Industry, but hey, you made cigars specifically for, and boom, you're done, right? Right? So now if, let's say another company says, okay, we're going to produce 10,000 PCA exclusive cigars, and they only sell 5,000. Right?

You're going to tell me that they're not going to open it up to their other customers? Yeah, that's what they're going to open it up. Give me a fucking break. Hey, would you like some of these?

So, you know, oh, oh, no, no, and here's how they walk it back. Okay. Oh, yeah, no, no, you could have access to it first, If you were there for PCA, you get the PCA exclusive, but now, since the PCA is over, you'll get some on the next one. Right, but you just get it later than everybody else, so it'll be fine, still a better deal if you went.

Yeah, obviously, you should have went, but you know, if you want the cigars, you still have them. Maybe it's a little more expensive. Right, you pay an extra 25 cents. Right, per stick.

Yeah, sure. Like, that doesn't fucking work. No. That's stupid.

What are you yelling for? I want to see commitment. I wanna see, hey, listen, we fuckin' made 10,000, we only sold 5,000, we're gonna have a cigar bonfire of the other 5,000. Oh, we're just gonna burn them.

That we didn't sell. Oh. Just to keep it real. We should make that announcement, after the show.

Right. You know what, we didn't sell our exclusive show cigars, so, you know what, fuck you guys, we're just gonna burn them. Anything that's left over, shit's gonna fuck. We're gonna have a massive bonfire party.

We're just throwing them in. For you. These are the ones, these are them. It's like setting money on fire, let's fucking do it, let's see who's got the biggest balls in the PCA, let's go.

Oh, look at you, threatening people, no, instead what they'll do is they'll say, I'm not threatening anybody, instead what they'll say is they'll say, man, I gotta tell you, what a great show, we sold all of our PCAs, it was amazing, we sold everything, we sold, I sold my dog to somebody because we had, because they bought so many cigars. Right, I just had to throw in the dog. They really loved my Doberman, so, you know, Chewy's gone. Oh, Chewy.

I miss Chewy. We're gonna miss Chewy. Oh, it's so terrible. But, you know, that's what happens when you sell everything at the show.

Greatest show ever. Greatest show ever. It was amazing. All right, Ace Prime is debuting the Mass Igneous.

Oh, I love that you can't read. All Saints is adding the Vesper Petite Corona. Okay. Arturo Fuentes, Breaking Ground on the Negro, oh that's just a fact.

Yeah, that's a big deal. Yeah. Casa 1910 adding four new cigars at the PCA. Uh-huh.

Casa Cuevas is releasing the Sangre Nueva at the PCA. Okay. Dapper Cigar Company is adding Major Mike Connecticut Shade at the PCA. Oh.

Major Mike. Major Mike. Let's see. P.

Carrillo is adding the Perez Carrillo Pledge, Lonsdale, Limitada. Okay. Espinosa is adding Suave Maduro, Suave Maduro. Espinosa is releasing the 601 La Bamba Warhead 8 at the PCA.

Oh. Just keep writing that number. Hey, listen, if it works. Yeah, if it ain't broke, if it's not broke, don't fix it.

Warhead 8, bitch. Let's go. Let's see. Foundation Cigar Company is the new Olmec line.

Here we go. Yes. These are the things I'm excited about. Garo Cigars.

That was it. You blew right past Foundation. I just have the headlines. The Amaric.

We talked about that last week. The new Manalik? Yes. You didn't talk about that?

Yes, it's a Toro. Okay, it is. Yeah, it's a Toro. We talked about that last week.

They have the, the Amalek is the Egyptian one that they're about to drop? Yes. We talked about their releases last week. And what about the other, um...

The yada yada? Was I the here? You were sleeping. That's the one where I asked you.

You put your feet up for most of the show. I needed a nap, yeah. So maybe we didn't actually get to that story because you dozed off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But like, they're making newfound Way One Say's, Way One Say Maduro. Yes, we talked about that too. No, you didn't. Yeah, we did, because you thought that the, with changing the shape and things, that the taste is going to change for the cigar.

It does change. I know, we discussed it last week. Wow, I'm pretty smart. That's, whoever said that's smart.

That's true. That was you. Yeah. Our friends at the German Engineered Cigars are adding a new line.

You're very excited about this. I like the German, I don't know why. I like the German Engineered Cigar. We have yet to see these motherfuckers.

I know, we can't find them at the show, that's what's so good. Like, I'm not allowed to do that anymore, Ginger, I did that one. I feel it, what? He's over there.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not allowed, no, I got it. No, yeah, Palmer's very racist, and we try and keep it down to him. I got in trouble for doing that.

You know, it's like, God. Gran Habano, Aniversario, Edicione Limitada. Okay. Gurkha, Pure Evil, is returning.

Oh, we've missed it. Pure Evil, Pure Evil. HVC, 500 year anniversary, Salamonde. Okay, I'm excited about that one.

La Florida Dominicana, Solis debuting at the PCA. Okay. Let's see, McAuliffe, lowercase, I don't know if that's what it's called, the lowercase. How high were you guys when you came up with that name?

This is called the lowercase. And there it is, the Padrón Family Reserve, number 96. Yes, okay, so you mentioned four cigars that I'm excited about. They have re-blended the Omar Ortez Connecticut.

Yeah. Serino showing off the Bygone. Okay. Oh, no, they're showing the Off Bygone, that's the name, Off Bygone.

Off Bygone? They're not showing it off, they're showing it. Sinestro is the last Barbarian. I still don't know what happened there, but yeah, okay.

Supreme. The last Barbarian? Yes. Like the last Cowboy, last Barbarian, so that we're gonna, that's what they're sticking with?

Right, everything's the last. Yeah. There'll be no more. This is the last one.

50 gallon of gas? That's probably coming soon too. Slide that one in there. And Ted is discontinuing the Grand Marnier Cigar, they're replacing it in the coming later this year with a cigar that tastes like Grand Marnier.

Yeah, so here's what we're doing, fuck that company, we're not paying them anymore. Right, that's what they did with the other one too. We're gonna call it the orange liqueur. Right.

And it's still gonna be in the little vial with the wax on the end, it just says orange. Yeah. Alright, and these are cigars, Michael, that I'm interested in. Oh, so you weren't, so you're not excited about the Padrón?

Yes, it's probably, I've checked it here on the list. I can't wait, no. I did just, you only liked the headline for the PCA news. Oh, okay.

Because you got bored, so. It was fucking boring. I just did the headlines. And we gotta keep the people entertained.

And we have a meeting started in 10 minutes, so we got to go fast. Whatever. It's going to be late. No, no.

Listen, you got to understand how the meeting works. It doesn't matter what time that I'm there. I am the constant that everybody evolves around. I'm never late or early.

Everybody adjusts to me. Exactly. That's how that works. Certainly.

All right. I want to try the Ace Prime Maria Lucia. Okay. Let's see.

Then we skip ahead because there's nothing else on that page. The Bellotto Premium Cigar Knockaround. I'm looking for the next good cigar. I want to try something that maybe isn't a brand I've even heard of, but it might be good.

13 years in the industry and you're still looking. Okay, attaboy. Good for you. Never give up.

Never give up. God doesn't like a quitter. The Crux Limitada The Show 2022. Really, I just want to go by and see Casey and check his health.

He's going to be ill. He's always ill. I want to see what the illness is for this trade show. Was it food poisoning last time?

Yes, food poisoning last time. The show before that it was some type of heart murmur or something, yes, yes, just leave that there, I'll get that after the show. Where do you go from there? Like a brain injury?

Yeah, some kind of brain injury maybe, or maybe you'll have a cast on a foot or something. For whatever reason, Casey from Crux is always dying at the shows. Every show. TPE, PCA, don't matter.

He can't handle the pressure, I believe, is what it is. Is that what it is? I think so? But they have Kim Keeney working for them now, so maybe he'll be in a little better shape or something, who knows?

Oh, I'm not drawing, connecting the dots on that, but sure, okay. Well, they have somebody, they haven't had a rep in the past. No rep? No.

No, it's always been him. Just for Florida. Oh, I don't know. I don't know.

Well, yeah, yeah, right. Yeah. Right. Right.

Okay. All right, let's see. The Dissident Cigars, a new brand, the Dissident Cigars. Okay.

They're not a new brand. They've been around. Oh, they were just bought, though, by the lady and her husband. Yeah, the one with the shaved head.

Yeah, yeah. I want to try the Moltoff. Dunbarton Tobacco and Trust, the Me Karida Sakakon. Well, let's see how that plays out, Mike.

I got to tell you, if you're really interested in trying it. I like the challenge to get the... Oh, and he's giving away... Do you see they're also giving away a bag of Sakasquatch poop or something?

Yeah, it's brown cotton candy. Oh, is that what it is? Yeah. It's one Amazon lookup away from you figuring out what it is.

That's exactly what I did. I was like, what is... Oh, did you really? Well, I heard it was sugar, just sugar.

Yeah, it's brown cotton candy. Oh. All right. I'm just here to fuck up everybody's fun here.

Right. Anything from Espinosa, but they're doing the Knuckles Sandwich Figurado. Oscuro. That should be good.

That should be good. You didn't mention that. It must have been last week. Nope, there's been no press release, it's just on the list of cigars that's coming out of the show.

Bro, it's not ready, bro. So it was eight months. The Weyuanse Macho Raton. Okay.

I want to try that one. Yeah. The Freud Cigar Company Super Ego. Got to give that to Greg.

Yes. He should try that. He should try that. Ooh.

La Flora Dominicana. The Soleil. Soleil. Soleil.

There's no S. Soleil. Okay. The Matilda.

Matilda. Matilda. Matilda. The Limited Exposure No.

1 Lonsdale. Matilda has made some decent cigars in the past. I like them, yeah. I've looked, the companies that are around us, I'm not familiar with many of them.

Yeah, we kind of got joined the PCA a little late, bro. I don't know what to tell you. They're like in the new guy section, way in the back. Yeah, where are we going?

That's why I said, look, man, we're just going to sit and we're going to have a good fucking time. If you want to talk to us, you're going to have to find us. Well, you're going to, here's what's going to happen is you want to talk to us, you know, 20 minutes before you grab lunch, You're gonna walk right to the lunch where we're at? Oh, we're back by the lunches?

Just kind of be ahead of the curve. Do we need like a megaphone? We're over here! We are here.

Come find us back by the taco guy. No. We should bring like fucking Twister or something. Really mix it up.

A little downtime. Yeah. I don't know if I want to play Twister. No Twister?

No. And we take those cornhole boards that are upstairs nobody knows where they came from. Ooh. That's a good idea.

We should buy cornhole while we're out there. Oh, yeah. Let's play it in the aisle. Get it at Costco.

Really fuck with people. Oh, that'd be nice. Blackworks Studio, Shaolin. See, now that's gonna be hard to get.

So that's just more of a challenge. So is challenge accepted is what you're saying? Yes, yes. I think I can make that happen.

Yeah, they didn't seem to be mad at us last time we talked. No, they got over it. Yeah, that's not. How could you be mad at us?

Yeah, no, we're just- I don't know how you can be mad at us. Who cares? Yeah, just fucking stop right now. Stop.

You're all uppity. Quisada Cigars, the Oktoberfest, because I have several, I've never smoked one, but I have them for some reason in my drawer, so this would complete my, I'd keep my little collection. You know, Terrence used to run Quisada. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's see, room 101. We'll just end that there. I don't know where you're going with that after that, so I don't know. But he can get it for me, you're thinking?

Hey Terrence, I really want to try this Quisada. Can you walk over here with me? Did you guys leave on good terms? I just want to know.

Do they still like you? Do you see, he's from England originally. Is he? He put up the other day his anniversary of leaving England or something.

They kick him out or? Probably, he's too tall. Sir. No, no giraffes here, sir.

Sir. Take your tea, get the fuck out of me country. Let's see, Room 101, they're coming out with the 13th anniversary and the big payback Nicaragua. That should be good.

Yeah, that should be good. Let's see, the Tatuaje, Tatuaje PCA 2022? You call it the, what it is, the Tatuaje. The Tatuaje?

The Tatuaje. The Tatuaje. The, uh, United Cigars. We should make Pete Hernandez brings the Tatuaje.

Oh. He will. He will. It's what, okay, so that's the other thing.

Right. Okay, so like, I feel like we really need to document Pete Hernandez. Oh. I'm bringing the little, uh.

If we could get some video footage of him, like, day one, and then if we get lucky enough, we can catch him out and about. m you gotta call us you have to reach out to us so we can go get some video footage yes and then we have to see him the next day because like the next day it's like extra sweaty kind of stressed out pete which i really He won't be so sweaty now. He's thinner. Are you all good?

And he's like, well, what does sweat have to do with your weight? I wonder how he handles tequila. He has switched to tequila now because of his weight loss. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, we know how he is on bourbon. This could be good. This could be very good. Angrier, Pete.

With a Mexican accent, maybe. We were having a conversation with Pete, and I told him about one of the things that he did at TPE. He's like, I did? I did that?

You did that? Like, oh yeah, man, you hammered that guy. You fucking, uh, I don't know. It was, it was somebody extremely famous too.

Oh no, it was very, it was a big guy in the industry. It was Ernie, wasn't it Ernie? No, it was Jose Ortega. Oh.

Yeah, it was pretty funny. All right. Pepin Garcia is there. I mean, I don't know who it was.

I want to try. Rhymes with Jose. Rhymes with Jose. Rhyme with Jose?

Sounds like Ortega. Oh. Yeah. All right, the United Cigars, the Yaya Bagua.

Wow. Okay. I just... You're excited about that?

I like the name. I like the name. That's it. That's off the list there.

My list is a lot smaller than your list. Yeah? What do you want? Nick Cigars Foundations.

Yeah. I'd love to try that Padrón, but that's not gonna happen. That's not gonna happen. No.

He went to get his samples last year, never came back. Is that how that worked? Mike had Secreto with us. Oh, yeah.

He placed an order. You placed an order. Yeah, you gotta be careful with Ronnie. Yeah.

" And he never came back. And then I saw him filling up his red Solo cup with some bourbon. " Right. And went in a little room and shut the door.

Yeah. Never came back. But that was Mr. Padrón.

That was the guy, yeah. That was the guy. That was the dude. Jeff or Jeff Padrón?

I don't know. His name was Padrón. Wow. Alright, we have a Florida story, this is a really good Florida story, with a sound bite and video for the video people, that's how good this story is.

Alright, a Florida man has been arrested and accused of killing his neighbor's pet, Rooster. The owner of the Rooster, Jason DeFliance, told Cigar Hustler Podcast that he believes James Nicks, these are confirmed names, James Nicks, killed his pet on purpose. I lose him to animals, but I was not expecting to lose him to my neighbor, that was like my friend, he said. he said.

However, Nix insisted he was defending himself as the rooster attacked. I just checked my mail and turned around and go and I hear, bang, bang, bang, bang. Apparently the rooster had a gun. Oh, apparently.

And I turned around and there's a chicken out there in the street. I said, oh boy, here we go. Turned around, walked my place, bang, bang, bang, bang. Chicken's got a gun again.

Yeah, right. And now the chicken's in my yard. Shooting at his ankles. Its neck flares up, he said, so I pick up a stick in the yard and I try to hit it, but the chicken's jumping at me and I accidentally knocked him in the You know, call it a lucky shot, whatever, Nick said he wasn't sure what to do next, I didn't know to give it a 21 gun salute, Nick said, CPR, mouth to mouth, do you know, or do you call the chicken ambulance?

Wow, this is exactly what this guy said, this is a quote, this is a quote, kids in the neighborhood told Nick that, who did they tell, they told Jason that Nick's had beaten the rooster, so Nick called animal control, next thing you know, he called the chicken police on me, said Nick's. And then he said: Chickens are down everyday people at churches, Popeyes, and Kentucky Fried Chicken. That's an actual quote. That's actually him.

Yeah, that's audio from me. And he's 100% correct. He's 100% correct. He was shortly after arrested and released on his own recognizance for animal cruelty.

Look, man. What the fuck is the chicken the rooster doing in the other guy's yard? Well, he went to the mailbox. Maybe it's like a community mailbox.

Well, no, no, I saw the picture, it's not a community box. Okay, so look, look, man. But it was a trailer park, it looked like. Look, man, you gotta keep your fucking animals in your house.

It's a chicken, it's a rooster. I don't care that it needs to be in a fence. Oh, roosters and chickens, you let run free during the day. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

That's fucking ridiculous. Yeah, chickens, Michael, I've had chickens. Yeah. Yeah, the roosters are mean.

Yeah, you just let them roll around your neighborhood's house? No, I had a farm. Fucking check the mail for you? I had a farm.

You had a farm. And I had, because of the boxes and coyotes and things, I had a giant chicken coop where they roamed free during the day. Oh, so you had them fenced in? Yes.

Okay, so just recapping here. Let me just review here. So your rooster never checked out your neighbor's yard? Well, when we found him dead, he must have gotten loose.

Did your rooster ever get the mail for your neighbor? Yes. Oh, it did. Yeah?

What kind of mail? Usually junk mail. Yeah, usually junk mail? Usually junk mail.

Any campaign mail at the time? Wait, wait, wait, who'd get that to him? Yeah, so he would leave the bills alone, he doesn't want to mess with the bills. They don't want to mess with bills.

It's a felony. It's a felony. It's a felony. It's federal charges right there.

Right, like if somebody opens your mail from the cable company or something. Yeah, exactly. That's a big deal. It's a big deal.

You can call the police. Call the police. That's right. So, sorry, but look, man, I hate that shit.

I fucking hate, like, there's no such thing as an outdoor cat. You don't buy a cat and have an outdoor cat. That doesn't work. There's cats in my neighborhood all the time.

Yeah, that's bullshit. There's one that sits, I think I talked about it on the show one time. And when you come home late at night, it sits in the middle of the road and refuses to move. Yeah.

What the fuck? You get right up on it, you gotta honk the horn. And like, the owners get all pissed off when you get shitty about the, I'm like, no, your cat doesn't get to roam the fucking nose, an outdoor cat. I'm not paying toll to your cat.

No, it's not an outdoor fucking cat. Bring your cat inside. I'm sorry. That's not the way it works.

That's why I'm drawing the line. Right. Your cat stays indoors. It was a gray cat in front of my house.

I saw it, it was really stand up to look in the bathroom window. I'm like, what the fuck is this? Yeah. Big dog, come to the window.

Look at the window. Yeah. Hey, eight fucking boxers that I own. Right.

Can one of you be here at the window blazing? Can somebody take care of this cat? Yeah. It's all they've been in at last.

It's ridiculous. And the black cats. I hate black cats. I'm very superstitious.

Yeah. I won't cross the black cats path. No, no hats on the table. No hats on the table.

Yeah, yeah. No, we're not crossing my mic. Oh. Oh.

Maybe we need new wiring. I don't know. Jesus place. Hemorrhaging cash.

Right. So no, no. Listen, and you're really gambling at that point. If you own a black cat and you're letting it outside, some asshole may kill the cat because it's a black cat.

Swing around his head to get rid of warts or something, too? Yeah, you know, let's keep your cat inside. Well, my cat runs the neighborhood. No, it doesn't.

No. No. No. No.

I'm not okay with it. All right. Calm down. I'm putting some cages out for these cats.

Calm down about the cats. They may catch a raccoon or something, but, you know. An opossum. Oh, God.

Those things are so nasty looking. But they eat ticks and mosquitoes and things. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

They just look scared. So does a good lawn care system. I mean, that doesn't eat ticks. What do you know lawn care system?

You just run it over the poop and run it over. You run it. I pay a guy to run it over. Your yard's full of shredded poop, shredded trash.

That's the way to go. Little pieces of wood from the Rockets. I have you know, my yard looks great. Because of your young man.

I'll tell you, he was out there yesterday, or Friday, and he even trimmed the trees a little bit. Oh. Yeah. You don't feel bad when you sit in the house looking up the window and this kid's out, Do you want him out in your yard, sweating his ass off?

No, that's what the money's for. Oh. That's what the money is for. You give them the money so that you, yeah, you don't have the money.

You pay him on good fees? Is he paid well? Oh, he's paid very well. Oh, okay.

So there's guilt money? Above and beyond. Oh, all right. I'm like, here you go, bro.

I'm all about it. Here's a little something extra for you. Put this away. Yeah.

All right, you got a Shop of the Week? I do have a Shop of the Week. You have a Listener of the Week, too? Do we have a 2-4?

Yeah, they sent me the tobacco license. Do we have a 2-4? They haven't sent me the tobacco license. Oh, is it a new shop?

It is. But we're going to do them anyways. Alright, what is it? The Office Cigar Lounge.

Where are they? I've never heard of them. In Indiana. Shop of the Week!

What's it called again? The Office. The Office in Indiana. Cigar Lounge.

Cigar Lounge in Indiana. Yeah. Whose shop is that? Tom's.

Tom. Tom. Tom Brady? UHL is his last name, I think.

Tom Wool? Tom Wool. Tom Wool. Asian man?

Nope. No? Indian? I mean, you know, who knows over the phone, but I don't think so.

Oh, he only spoke to him over the phone. Yeah, yeah. Oh. Well, congratulations.

He listened, and we should tag him. Tom, Listener of the Week. Oh, Tom Wool, Listener of the Week! Oh!

There you go. There we go. All right. Bam!

JJ, Listener of the Week. JJ, your new favorite sportscaster, JJ. LeBron Lover. Oh, that's right.

All right, listen to That Sports Talk. You can find it on most podcast providers. Not all, though. No, not all.

They're coming in three episodes. Hey, they're monkey-fucking their way through it like we all did. It's all good. Certainly, they're doing fine.

You got to do what you got to do. They've added JJ. Michael loves JJ now. I do love JJ.

All right, that's it. Next week, tune in for the post-PCA show and see if we got the cigars. This is what we wanted and see who kicked us out of where and who refused to talk to us. Yeah.

It's always a long list for those people. Oh, and then what? See, if I freak out on, what is it, Saturday? Saturday?

I think he freaks out on Friday. Friday? Yeah, and someone will tell me to fuck off and that I'm too aggressive, even though I'm not aggressive. Yes, yes.

No. We'll see if you and Greg get in a fight. That's always fun. Oh, are we gonna tally that?

What? When Greg and I get into a fight? Yeah. Oh, and how many people ask for-- No, I just tell him to stay the fuck away from me now.

How's your brother? How's your brother? Yeah, how's your brother? Let's bring him over.

Hey, how's your brother? Go over there, go see him. Just tell everybody he had a horrible car accident, he's mind not making it. He's had a brain bleed.

He had a brain bleed, it's terrible, we don't know. No, I'll play it off, you mean after his cerebral palsy? Yeah, what do you mean? He's doing well with his cerebral palsy.

Or just leave it like this, he's recovering, and just don't go in. Oh, I'm not saying anything else. What do you mean? I'm sorry, I thought that you knew, you didn't know?

Yeah, it's embarrassing, we're not talking. Yeah, you know what, he's on his way back. It's a lengthy process. The process.

It's a slow recovery. I don't want to get into it. And then he walks up and goes, Greg, it's a miracle. Oh my God.

You can walk again? You're here. You're here. Did mom bring you?

Did mom bring you? I told my physical therapist about my mom today. Oh. I was like, yeah, she never loved me.

You're like, what? I'm like, yeah, no, Greg's the guy. She's like, really? I'm like, oh yeah.

Do you have a guy or a girl therapist? The guy handles all the physical therapy, but the girl handles like she's the front worker. So, who did you tell the girl? I was telling the front worker.

Oh. Yeah. " Good move. Good move?

Yeah, are you going to get a little sympathy from the girl? No. First of all, come on, give me a break. Hey, whatever.

Manhattan's in Vegas, stays in Vegas, Michael. Okay. Oh, you're getting a phone call, aren't you? This is why we can't be friends.

You want to know why I'm distancing myself? Because I don't want to deal with your bullshit anymore. Tired of you. Make my life miserable.

Oh, whatever. No reason. Whatever, Michael. That's it.

I'm going to tell you right now. I'm going to fuck with Adrian the whole entire trip for you. Oh, like you weren't in him. You know what?

I picked Friday now. Have another beer, Adrian. You should have another beer. Anybody got a beer for Adrian?

She doesn't hate Palmer yet. Izzy is a complete asshole. Here, take this drink. Buckets, buckets.

I can't believe he's not going to spend time with you. You guys aren't going to a show? Wow, what a d*ck. You hear that?

No, I'm prepping myself. Sorry, not going to PCA today, Michael. I'm going to go see somebody. Yeah, go have fun with it.

Going to the... Criss Angel. Yeah, going to see Criss Angel, and then we're going to the... What's the...

What's the Bravo show? She wants to go to that bar. I can't remember what it's called. Not the Housewives, the other one.

Vanderpump! The Vanderpump bar. Yeah. Yeah, she wants to go there.

Hopefully, Arlen wants to go too. I can't imagine Arlen would be excited about that. I don't know. Oh, you never know.

They might hit it off and just become grand friends. Oh, I want to go to, yes. She's Asian. Oh, like that?

Oh, she's Asian. She's Asian. It's the only accent I do. Everybody knows that.

Okay. I like that you're spiraling now. This is nice. This makes you feel good.

Oh, thank you. I'm glad you feel good. Because, I mean, you teed off on me last week and I just took it. I was like totally off my game.

Now I'm here to fuck you up, so. All right, we gotta go, it's been an hour. Okay, good. All right, it's been episode 235, the PCA Pre-Show.

We'll see, what camera is he even on? Camera three. Just me. Oh, just you.

Oh, just like last week. Oh, you. Yeah, love it. All right, guys, we gotta go.

Bye. Bye. The Cigar Hustlers podcast, its owners and its sponsors take no responsibility for the opinions or statements made by the talk show host or their guest. Statements or show topics are not necessarily the beliefs of Mike and Mike Productions or the podcast providers, and opinions between talk show hosts may differ.

It is not our intention to libel, incite, or hurt anyone's feelings. We invite you to write the show's host, Mike Szczevankewicz, with any feedback or suggestions that you have for their shows. These broadcasts are presented and made public as entertainment in the hope that they will be entertaining to the audience. This has been a Cigar Hustlers Podcast, a Mike and Mike production.

m. for all new episodes. Hi, I'm doing, I'm Hoostoi Raw. Yeah, we just don't have to do a single podcast ever again.

Perfect. I'm good, Mike and Mike. How are you guys doing? The Hojo Deeb.

Hojo! It's the Hojo! Oh, Joe. You didn't even let him fuck it up all the way.

I couldn't get past Hojo! I don't even have to try to hit the record. He's not even going to try. We're going to cover a lot of ground here, Mike.

All right. Try to keep up. That's a sign of a good podcast. You'd be like, four cigars when I walked in a door.

All right, end this.

Show Notes

PCA Pre Show...what we are looking for...what we are going to d and who are we gonna piss off!!