Cigar Hustlers Podcast 242 Buffalos Don’t Have Wings

Episode Summary

Episode 242 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast is a travel-and-industry recap show. Mike and Pedro (joined by Phil "Boots") open with a story about a misdelivered Allegiant Air suitcase that turned into a 45-minute good-deed road trip across Orlando, then pivot into the heart of the episode: the crew's weekend trip to Buffalo, New York for the third anniversary event at Tommy's shop, Nickel City Cigars.

The Buffalo recap covers everything from the shop itself (a small boutique with a strong whiskey and bourbon selection, arcade games and bubble hockey) to the event's Dinosaur Bar-B-Que catering, Bills and Bucs ticket giveaways, and a great turnout of regulars. The guys also sat down to record with the Down to Herf podcast crew — Jerry, Caleb and Geo, all cops who converted a garage into a legitimate studio with Shure mics and a soundboard. Along the way there's an extended, very funny saga about running on no sleep, bailing out of a bad Buffalo hotel after 20 minutes, and relentlessly working the Marriott front desk clerk (shout out to Coey) until a spare maintenance room appeared for $50. The trip wraps with a walk to the Horseshoe Falls at Niagara and a verdict on Buffalo wings at Bar-Bill: good, but not worth the hype — and there was no actual buffalo to be found in Buffalo.

The news segment is almost entirely RoMa Craft Tobac: a new 6x54 box-pressed toro size of the Baka heading to Humidour Cigar Shoppe in Cockeysville, Maryland for the retailer's 25th anniversary with Michael Rosales on hand; Skip Martin teasing a fourth Intemperance line, the Volstead 1920, with a dark Sumatra wrapper; Weasel Fest 2022 set for September 4 in Austin at Fair Market; and the Wunderlust Keyser Söze, a 5x52 barber-pole robusto pairing Brazilian Arapiraca and Mata Fina wrappers over an Indonesian binder, bound for Germany. Two Florida stories close it out — a naked man with a machete in Volusia County and the state's annual Burmese python challenge.

In This Episode

1. 01
   The Mystery Suitcase
   A FedEx delivery drops a stranger's Allegiant Air luggage on the doorstep, leading to detective work and a 45-minute drive across Orlando to return it.
2. 02
   Nickel City Cigars 3rd Anniversary
   Recap of Tommy's Buffalo shop anniversary event — turnout, Dinosaur Bar-B-Que, Bills and Bucs ticket giveaways, bubble hockey and a strong whiskey selection.
3. 03
   Recording with Down to Herf
   Sitting in with Jerry, Caleb and Geo of the Down to Herf podcast in their converted garage studio full of Shure mics and boom arms.
4. 04
   Buffalo Culture and Bills Fans
   Observations on a city where everyone is a Bills fan, and how the ribbing stayed friendly compared to Eagles or Dolphins crowds.
5. 05
   The Hotel Saga
   No sleep, a bad first hotel, a roll-away bed at the Marriott, and relentlessly calling the front desk until a room opened up for fifty bucks.
6. 06
   Niagara Falls and Buffalo Wings
   A guilt-trip walk to the Horseshoe Falls, $30 parking, and an honest verdict on the wings and beef-on-weck at Bar-Bill.
7. 07
   RoMa Craft Tobac News Roundup
   Baka toro for Humidour Cigar Shoppe, the Intemperance Volstead 1920 prototype, Weasel Fest 2022 in Austin, and the Wunderlust Keyser Söze barber pole.
8. 08
   Florida News
   A naked machete-wielding robber in Volusia County and the kickoff of Florida's annual Burmese python challenge.

Brands & Cigars Discussed

Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.

Transcript

You're ready, Mike. Welcome to episode 242 of the Cigar Hustler podcast. I'm looking down. You set that up.

I know. It'll be a better shot. Trying some new camera angles today. Whenever I hear this song, I think of Hugh, and I'm like, man, where the fuck has Hugh been?

Yeah, he's disappeared. Weird. He was in town and we were in Vegas in July. Oh.

So we fucked that up. Uh, was, um, uh, crap. Room 101, I can't think of that, I'm drawing a blank. Matt Booth.

Matt Booth, was he in town? Kind of. You too can be a part of our podcast family and invest in our show or any of the shows on the Hustler Universal Podcast Network. Put your products in front of thousands of listeners every week on 13 different podcast providers all around the world.

IM News email me, Mike, at Mike and Mike Productions for pricing and more information, and please remember to rate, review, and subscribe on whichever providers you use. And Michael, what do they have to do? Hit the bell. Hit the bell, goddammit.

Hit the bell. I'm trained now. Hit the bell. So, I got my SC DuPont lighter back.

Yeah, how's it work? Still requires the one click, but it's better than what it was, I guess. Oh, was it the two clicks before? No, it was the 75,000 clicks.

Oh, oh. I have one story on something that happened. I know you have a plethora, All right, lengthy. I have some story.

You have a story on what happened? I have one thing that happened over the weekend here. Ah, okay. All right.

Because I'm worried because Boots was here. Oh, yeah. Phil was in the building. Phil was in the building.

Well, before me. He told me about the podcast, guys. Okay. That was it.

I mean, that's a major part of it. And then he shut my screen because I guess you yelled at him. Yeah, because I'm like, don't fucking... He only knew one word out of the name and I found him easy.

It was just boop. Right. If he comes in and he downloads you, then I'm telling you the things? Yeah, I'll cut you off, I'll get excited.

" Right, so I'm trying to deliver- That's when the tiger came in, Michael. I'm trying to deliver content to our listeners. Right, I understand. And, you know, give them value so that they enjoy it.

He didn't say anything about the sex, though, so. Oh, good, that's good. Good job. That's a good job.

That's why you look so tired at the airport. He did offer me to sleep in his bed. Oh, oh, oh. Okay, anyway, I'm out cutting the grass Saturday, FedEx pulls up.

So I figured it's an Amazon pack or something. So I go look on the front step and there's a suitcase. Okay. A suitcase.

So I look at the luggage tag. It's sent to my wife. It's got my wife's luggage tag on, but it's not our suitcase. Interesting.

Right. So, pull it in the garage. Come get my wife. " So we're going through it.

A lot of shoes. You went through it? We had to figure out who it belonged to. Oh.

All the names on it were, uh, the FedEx tag was sent to Adrian Palmer from Allegiant Air, the luggage tag that said where it had flown from said Adrian Palmer from Springfield to, uh, Orlando. So you felt obligated to open it? We had, yeah, figure out who it belonged to. Well, first, we really looked at anything good in it.

Of course. First, you looked at anything good in it. Is there going to be a fee of me doing a good, good thing here? Let's see.

Right. So, well, I mean, how else can you figure out who it belongs to? No, no, no other luggage tags on the thing. So the options at that point are: take it back to the airport, or we figure out who it belongs to.

I call Allegiant, I tell them to come get their fucking bag. Have you ever tried calling Allegiant? You cannot get people on the phone at Allegiant. So you were doing a good deed, allegedly.

So it's full of ladies clothing, lots of shoes and stuff, and then we find medicine in the front pocket, blood pressure medicine, with a name on it. So we immediately look on Facebook, can't find the name. I remember Phil has the ability to find phone numbers for people. Phil has that ability?

Detective Phil? Detective Phil, yes, from his police days. He has contacts from his policeman days. So anyway, he gives us a bunch of numbers and we call them, we find the right lady.

Okay. So then we, it's an older lady. Of course. Yeah, of course.

Blood pressure medicine. Well, it was the same medicine I took. I'm like, we can keep those. I just have to take two of them.

What's the dosage? Right, I just need two of those on it, it would be good. So anyway, we take the suitcase, we call the lady on the phone, very nice, older black woman. They live in a very rough part of Orlando, though.

But we still, we take it all the way down there. And then we have to listen to this long story, she didn't even fly from Springfield, she started in Kansas. It's Allegiant, that sounds about right. They're like, I don't know, fucking put a sticker on it.

Oh, it's Adrienne's problem. Adrienne got it, right, sent it to her. The family is very, very large family, very small house, you know, stereotypical stuff that you've seen. Interesting.

Let's start off this nice, racist for you. Racist, right, exactly. Like Nutty Professor? Right.

Like Hercules. She's telling us a long story about how her sister made her put the medicine in the check bag and she hadn't had her medicine in two weeks. She was teeing off on her sister, boy, I'll tell you what. But if her sister hadn't put the medicine in the bag, we would never have had a name.

So you're welcome. So tell your sister. For your shoes. Yeah, tell your sister we found it.

So, yeah, I mean, it was a 45-minute drive, one way to take this lady, down by the prison. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's, that's, okay, yeah. All right, I got, I know where you're at, I know where you're at.

Yeah, roughly. Well, the prison, the get off the highway, the prison's to the right, we went. I have, I have picked up Mika in that vicinity, with her car broken down, and I'm like, at like, three o'clock in the morning, her radiator hose popped or something, she's like, there's a lot of steam coming from my car, I'm like, fuck, where are you? and she's and you know i know that she's close to the prison like fuck right i'm on my way i'm i mean like i didn't have shoes on when i went to go get her i was like i'm fucking oh i'm in route you know right so yeah yeah there's uh there's some sketchy sketchy parts over there especially if you're you know a 21 year old oh blonde yeah young lady yeah with an overheated car apparently overheated car and you're just sitting on the side of the road and so the first thing i do i I'm like, "What in the fuck?

" Because we don't ask... It's where the Paul Malls are. That's where I get my Virginia Slims. I get my Virginia Slims at the Five and Die movie.

I don't ask what she's up to. You know what I mean? It's none of my business. You probably don't want to know.

I just want to make sure that she's okay. She's safe, right. It's like, you're an adult, question mark, sort of. Right.

You know? You know, Adrian's son Alex did that one time in a very seedy part of Samford. I was sitting in the car with a young lady listening to the radio. It must have been for hours because his car was dead and I had to go jumpstart his car, middle of the night, same scenario, and a part of the Sanford, he probably should not have been in.

Right. Like if you're gonna go blast your girlfriend, I mean, you gotta, you gotta find a better spot. Well, it was outside of her trailer. Ah, what, is the husband inside or something?

I didn't. I was like, you know what? My dad's in there. I can't, uh...

We're gonna jumpstart this thing and get the hell out of here fast. That's amazing. I wore shoes though. You wore shoes?

I wore shoes. You're a little more responsible than I am. Listen, when the goal is the goal, I fucking come hell or high, I don't give it, if it's a little different scenario, if we got to go through the wall, we're going through the wall, and I'm not asking questions, someone could say to me later, like, did you go through the wall? I'm like, I guess, yeah, maybe, I don't know.

I suppose that happened. So, hey, so you had, uh, good job, man. Nicely done. That's, that's very admirable of you.

Thank you. How many shoes did you keep? No, no, no, they didn't fit Adrian. It didn't fit Adrian.

It was a lovely pair of shower shoes in there, though. Did they fit you at all? No, no, no, no, no. A little cross-dressing on the weekends?

It would have been odd. Yeah, it would have been odd. The heels weren't high. They didn't flatter my calves at all.

Nothing would have made me look. No clear shoes or nothing like that? No, no. They were shower shoes, but they were dark, dark blue.

Adrian said they were black. She might have been being racist, too. I don't know. Aren't men colorblind or something?

My wife says I am, so. I believe that. I don't know. Yeah.

Some days I'll panic if the right clothes aren't clean, because I'm like, okay, I don't know if this goes together or not. We always wear black. I do on Mondays because our photos came out nice, they look nice with those we were matching. See, I fucked you up today on purpose.

I think, you know what, I'm getting dressed, I'm going, you know what, he wore a different shirt today. He's gonna fuck me, of course, I'm like, oh. I figured you'd go with a different color though. I haven't worn the Cigar Hustler polo in a while.

No, no, no, I couldn't do anything. Listen, we just got back from Buffalo, we were fucking nothing but gluttonous activities. We ate a bunch of shit. I'm not wearing something brighter, no, we're slimming down today.

Oh, not the skin-tight blue. Correct. I almost wore the skin-tight blue today. But no, I figured Black was the appropriate...

I didn't make it to the gym, man. This wasn't happening. I was too fucking tired. I slept.

Oh, what time did you guys get in? Oh, we got delayed, and I think we got in slightly after mid, like 12:30-ish? Close to 1:00. m.

Oh. So, and like, I mean, we're gonna start at the end of the trip, I guess. But you know, of course I had that, you have that quintessential person who's now in a rush, right? right so i see as we land you know but we first of all we came in fucking hot the pilot just said because skadooshkins you know he's like no i don't give a fuck he's like i'm running late i want to get home yeah yeah so he made it he made an impression he's like i'm gonna wake everybody up in this fucking plane and that's exactly what he did mission accomplished so then of course a guy popped up once we landed you know on unbuckle your seatbelts and the dude behind us They're two rows down.

I see him. I'm like, "Oh, okay. All right. I guess that means I get to be the fucking...

" So I jumped up. He didn't say a fucking word. Fuck, there's two of you. You both should have stood up.

I was more than enough. I was more than enough. I stood up, and then there was a huge gap of everybody else getting ready. It was probably 12 rows deep, you know.

And this guy knew. This guy knew. Yeah, right. And he didn't say a fucking word.

And I'm like, good, you know, at least he understood at that point. Right. I will fucking beat manners into all of you. It is what it is.

We can go, it's the easy way or the hard way. It's up to you guys. So, but yeah, that one, but it went well, it went well. I kept looking for photos from the event that I saw one late yesterday afternoon, some group shot you were in.

Yeah, that, that was the one picture, you know, he's, it's his third year, right? So there's a lot of fine tuning that's going to go on, you know? And he's going to, he's doing a great job. Tommy is doing a fantastic job.

Nicholson cigars. And he's kind of finding his own path, right. And to what he wants to really formulate his business into. Right.

And I think that kind of along the way, as you're doing that, you realize the things that you're missing every single time. It's like, Oh, I could use more pictures or this or whatever. So I think that overall in general, it went very well. I mean, you know, I'm not really for whatever reason, And the past few years of my life, I've really kind of tapered off on the social media, I'm just kind of like, ugh, I got tired of it, you know, it just kind of wore me thin, so I just need somebody to follow me around and take pictures and post them.

And then what Phil was supposed to be doing? Phil, no, Phil was just living his best life, you know, I felt bad enough having, like, I kind of guilted Phil after he committed and then he kind of walked it away, I was like, well, now it's just me and you, pal, so I don't like to be, you know how I am, I don't like to be myself. Good, good turnout for the event? Yeah, turnout was great.

Good. You know, so, the first thing we did was we met these Down to Herf guys, right? Right, the podcast guys. The podcast guys.

And shout out to the Down to Herf guys. So the, you know, they're, they're cops. Right. So it's Jerry, Caleb and Geo.

Right. And they're all pretty fucking funny, man. You know, and we, the podcast went really, really well. Oh, you did their show?

Yeah, I jumped on with them. What's it called again? I'm going to, so I can plug it in the show. Down to Herff.

Down to Herff. Yeah. So here's what's really kind of cool is they, for one, their equipment was amazing. They had, they had the Shure mics.

Yeah. And then they had like fucking big arms and they plugged them all in around the table, you know. Like these arms? Bigger.

Bigger. Yeah, they were big. Well, maybe it was those arms. Maybe it was that arm.

Yeah. Yeah. Because, but then they extended them out. So they had four across, and then they had a backup mic, and they had a soundboard, and then they do video and audio, or just audio?

They don't do video, they're just getting started. Oh, because the ones I saw, they have some episodes on YouTube, there was some video. Oh, really? Yeah, maybe they do have, in the garage, they have...

Yeah, I was gonna say, it looked like they were all in the same room. Yeah. And there's just, they're in different corners. Yeah, so they took Jerry's garage, and they modified it into like a podcast studio.

Oh. So it's pretty cool. Yeah. And you could see that they're going to, depending upon how deep they want to go and how down, like what's going on as far as their job and stuff is concerned, they can be fucking hilarious.

These dudes are fucking hilarious. We had such a good time. Yeah. So the podcast went very well.

Do you know when it's going to go up? I have no idea. Oh, can you find out? So we can plug it when it goes on?

I will ask. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

I will ask. The podcast went very well. And, you know, once they kind of realized who I was, like, they didn't know who, you know, they don't know me. They didn't know?

You don't know me? How could they not know? You don't know me? The number one podcast?

On Podbean? Podbean? Number one cigar podcast? I mean, it's, I was a bit appalled, you know, I was, you know, I was taken aback.

Like, it's okay. Buffalo is fucking crazy, bro. I've never been to Buffalo before. Boots, have you been to, Phil, Phil, I'm sorry, Phil, have you been to Buffalo before?

Don't ruin the illusion, Michael. No, that was my first time. Okay, so let me tell you something about Buffalo. Yeah.

First of all, you're either a Bills fan, or you're a fucking Bills fan. It doesn't matter, that's it. Oh, that's your only option. And it is blanketing across the entire area of Buffalo.

Flat out, fuckin' Bills. Maybe there's nothing else to do there. I would agree with that as a true statement. I don't think that there is anything else to do there.

So that is the main thing. There's no other sport. There's no baseball, there's no hockey. So you're either a Bills.

Here's how you get your ass kicked in Buffalo. You just walk down the street and say, "Fuck the Bills. " Oh, someone will. Someone lady.

Wearing a Bills jersey to hit you with her cane. It'll start off with somebody wearing some type of Bill's garb where they're beating the shit out of you. And then somebody would say, what's going on? And then they would say, he's not a Bill's fan.

He said, fuck the Bill's. And then, you know, more people would join. Everybody's in, right? Yeah, without question.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, oh, no, no. Yeah, yeah. All right.

And the humidor is nice, man. I mean, Tommy's got a nice set up. Not the Buffalo humidor. Not the Buffalo humidor.

No. No, I mean, I will say this. Is he the only shop in town? There are other shops, but for what he's doing, he's the only shop in town.

Gotcha. I will say this. Everybody was really nice. I didn't, you know, you didn't run across a Bills fan that was super aggressive.

You know what I mean? Not like, ah, not like your typical fucking Eagles fan. You know what I mean? No.

Everybody was pretty down to earth. Well, we didn't poke the bear, you know? No, I think you, but you know what? You kind of cut some jokes.

I mean, I cut some jokes. Yeah. And they got a little uptight when we were in the circle. But it didn't, it didn't turn, listen, you were in a circle, look, man, if you want to tee off, if you tee off, yeah, of course, if you tee off on a, on an Eagles fan, and you make a comment, you hit the right nerve, you hit some, like a Donovan McNabb comment or some shit like that, like, like, it could instantly turn physical, you know what I mean, like, without question, all of a sudden, a beer bottle's flying your way or something, and you hear somebody yell, like, oh, no, he's back to the soundboard, right, so complain, I'm not used to it, it's great, so, I didn't get that feeling at all, you know, like, well, when I, you know, you could slide in a Jim Kelly joke, I mean, that's a, that's a fucking, oof, that's a tough one, right?

Yeah, well, you, you slid in some jokes, but you used me as the beating post. Oh, welcome to my world. No, but they, so, welcome, that's the way it works. Now, they would rib you back, as far as, I mean, they, I didn't have to, well, listen, as the night progresses.

He likes to tee you up for them, right? First of all, as the night progresses, and the libations continue to flow, it doesn't matter, right? Were you drinking? No, I was not.

Oh, no. But everybody else was. Was Phil? Was Phil drinking?

No, Phil was not drinking. No? No. So.

I mean, of course you're gonna... Well, you couldn't because it's a... Bam, you gotta go to work. Bam, you gotta go to work, so...

That doesn't even make sense. Even though they were Bill's fans, they were great. No, you were there to work. Yeah, but...

Would you like a drink? No. Bam, you gotta go to work. Bam, you gotta go to work.

Dolphins fans, they're easy to tee off on. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not trying to shit on you here. It's like, but we're talking, we're talking 50 years, right?

Yeah, yeah. Okay, you had one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time, couldn't get it done, you know, that type of thing, right? So, of course, you're an easy target, they're gonna fucking light you up. But then, nobody came after me, nobody busted my, nobody broke my balls about, you know...

I mean, now, I've seen Tommy has broken my balls about the Bucs or the Pats or shit like that, but... Right. " You know what I mean? Like that's never happened.

" Okay, all right. All right, Michael. Thank you very much. You have used...

Now I've used the board. I'm done? Yes. Okay, good.

Do you have my skip sound bites on there yet? No. Been very busy. We have a lot going on in this production company now, Michael.

I'm very busy. We've created another job for you. I'm fixing problems left and right. Well, you got a new...

We got a new upgraded computer coming soon. Yes, I'm very excited. Very excited. Can't wait.

No complaints now from you. I don't want to hear it. The amount of fucking Battlestar that you'll be able to play on there. Is the screen bigger or smaller?

Cause I could technically probably go a little smaller. It's a, well, I was going to get you a 13 inch and then, um, I was laughed at is like, why are you getting that? Why are you getting that MacBook Pro? Thank you, thank you, Sean.

And I'm like, I don't fucking know. Is there a difference? He's like, Oh yes, there is. There is a huge difference between the 13 inch and the 14 inch MacBook.

I'm like, so give me the fuck it. It's an inch. Like, here's the deal. What's the dollar price for an inch?

Look, oh no, there's better internal workings or whatever. You know, listen, I am not experienced and versed in this realm, I, I depend on you to fucking tell me, you're the, you're the computer guy for us. You tell me what I, will this work for this? Not really.

Okay, so then what will? This will, this is what I needed to do. This is the best one you can get. Okay, give me that one.

Oh, nice. Right. That's how that plays out. Oh, you know, like, when it comes to drywall, I talked to my friend over here, talked to Phil.

Right. How do I fix this? Well, there's what you need to do. Okay.

Right. So let's do that. Moving on. So just can Phil cut Greg's two weeks down for his problem upstairs down to five or seven days?

Well, I mean, honestly, I think the only person who could probably expedite any of that would be me. So I don't think you can cut any time down on Greg's problems. That's true. Well, I just meant taking it over.

Well, you're talking as far as, okay, so just so that we can elaborate for the listeners. I don't know how much detail we were going into. We're kind of talking about expanding and doing things to improve the bar, but you're going to need permits. Well, no, for the giant one, yes, I meant for the quick fix to get us...

No, to make any modifications for the bar that require permits, the only way that that's expedited is me just handling the permits. " I don't know what's going on. I don't know. I'll talk to Sharon at dinner.

Talked to Sharon, didn't I? Right. When Sharon comes over this weekend, I'll mention it to her. Did we know Sharon's still with Thea City?

She's probably still there. Oh. So, so the event goes really well. Right.

We had a really good time. I got to talk with a lot of his regulars, you know, his loyal guys. Right. And for the most part, you know, everybody was really kind of excited to just to engage and fucking have a good time.

Right? So that went, it went really, really well. He's got Tommy's a great host, you know, um, yeah, yeah, anything, do you have anything to add about the event? Was his, uh, his lovely wife, girlfriend, uh, in attendance?

Kara was there, yeah, yeah, he's, I don't know if it's his wife or his girlfriend at this point. I don't know either, but he's out, it was so like, he is at the point where, you know, it's still, the business is still kind of in its infancy, right? Right, right. So what do you do?

You abuse your family a little bit, like everybody, everybody kind of works, you know what I mean? Right. Like, and that's, that's what it takes. That's what it takes to get something like that off the ground and being successful.

Again, I'm not shit on the guy because, dude, the first four years, three years of us being here, nobody took a fucking paycheck. Right. You know what I mean? Credit card debts were through the roof.

Right. Electric bill, all that shit. So go ahead. I will say, I mean, his event for only being open for three years was pretty good.

It was pretty well put together. I mean, the food was great. The food was fantastic. He didn't have lupia or pizza?

There was no lupia or pizza. It was like dino barbecue. Oh, where are real food? It was really good.

Yeah, it was real food. Right. real fun. I mean, the giveaways that he was doing, they weren't like just five pack of cigars or something.

Yeah, he did Bucks tickets. He did Bills tickets. Yeah, tickets to Bucks. What did you win?

You go, oh, look, I won. I mean, even like the bubble hockey was something different. Oh, a big giant bubble hockey thing? Yeah, he's got a couple arcade games in there as well.

And then he had a booze person there, Miram. Oh, from? Yeah, he She advertised that. Yes.

Yeah. Blair was her name. She was pretty cool. You know, all of it was like, he did a great job, you know?

Yeah. And I think that it's definitely something for him to build on. He can continue to move forward with all of that, you know? So.

Does he do one every year or was three years like a marker he wanted to do? Yeah. No, I think he does one every year. Yeah.

Yeah. So. He's doing a good job. Good.

And it's a beautiful place. Beautiful store. You know, really nice, like for a small cigar boutique shop, like, you know, he had a lot of different whiskeys and bourbons and everything. I mean, it was nice.

Yeah. Good. Glad it went well. Mm-hmm.

So, is that it? No, no, no. Huge bathroom. Oh yeah, huge bathroom.

Oh, yeah, huge bathroom. Oh, it's very awkward. You would have never used this bathroom. Oh, the toilet's here, and like the door's waiting.

It's really far from the door, yeah. I'll pee, but no pooping. It's open very far from the door. Oh, no way.

That's a poobie. I can't. I just peed. Why are you afraid of the door so far away?

No, I have rules. I have rules. Because it's a safety issue. The door can open if you can't reach the door.

Yeah. So you grab the door? No, you can't reach the door. Like, if this was the bathroom, and the bathroom was here, and the door's there, the toilet?

It's so far away. It's too far away. So like, in this bathroom, you would grab the door quickly. You're right there.

Yeah, right there. You can stop the door. He's okay with it. You know what?

It's so funny, as soon as we arrived. If you listen to any of the podcasts I'm on, it's not the first time I've talked about it. So we flew in, we flew in day of the event, right? So then we got the car and did we go right there?

I think you got to back it up a little more. Okay, good. Thank you. We didn't sleep the day before.

No, no. Why didn't you sleep the day before? So my cousin came into town. Yeah.

And we're hanging on the patio until three in the morning. Oh, which cousin? My cousin, Eric. I don't think you've met him.

I think I've met him. No. So his, his son is now at UCF. Oh.

So I was like, okay. So, okay, I got to even elaborate a little more. My uncle and my aunt have recently passed. Oh, so it's that guy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, all right. And I have been trying to get down there to kind of spend some time with him. Right.

And I have not been able to make it happen. Very busy, very, very busy. So, I've been frustrated and mad at myself for that whole thing. And then he calls and says, "Hey, I'm going to be in town Friday.

m. Yeah, sure, fuck it. What the hell? I'm not going to tell him no.

You know what I mean? I could have said, well, you know, I got to get up at 3 on Saturday anyway. And I'm like, yeah, sure, fuck it. Come on by, right?

So he hangs out, and then I'm like, all right, I guess we got to wrap it up because I got to get in the shower. Get on the plane. It's a new day. It's a new day, baby.

Let's go. So Phil shows up. No sleep, I've had no sleep. So you didn't sleep, but Phil slept.

I had one hour. He got an hour's worth of sleep. What were you doing, Phil? I had work.

His cousin came over. I'm just kidding. No, and then my wife just had this surgery. Oh, yeah, right, right, right, right.

There's a lot going on. Right. So we fucking, you know, we clang and bang, we get on this fucking plane, we arrive, we get the rental. I have to poop first thing as I arrive, just so you know.

So when I poop, of course I think of you, because it's, you know. So, are you checking out the bathroom? I'm like, look at this distance, Mike will never poop here. Oh, at Tommy's?

Yeah. I was like, hey, I just want you to know, I have to poop and, you know. This is not safe. I hope that this is not the best, I hope that this doesn't hurt our impression.

I would have just waited until we got back to the hotel. We were there until fucking midnight. I would have still waited. From three to midnight?

Sure. Oh, wait, they were serving barbecue. Yeah. Could have been a tough call.

You want to get it out of the way when there's nobody there, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah. It's the right approach. So is it the key lock like there or is it some type of latch system on the back of the door?

That makes a difference. Standard lock. Standard lock. Yeah.

It's kind of sus. Yeah. Yeah. I could have been, they could have came in there and raped me.

I mean, it would have been terrible. Well, they could have just walked in. It's just embarrassing. Yeah.

With the pooping? If you're sitting there, somebody walks in. Yeah. I keep the door shut at home.

Yeah. You know what? I feel like as, as life kind of progresses, I give less and less and less of a fuck. You know what I mean?

You can answer the phone when you were in there. You don't do that anymore. I still answer the phone. FaceTime?

You used to FaceTime. I will FaceTime. I will still FaceTime. Oh.

That has not changed. Maybe you just haven't got a call. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that has not changed.

All right. But there's a level of degree of friendship for me to answer. Oh, it depends on the person. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now, you know, yeah. Because... All right. But then again, I am kind of curious to see who I will make uncomfortable when I answer the phone.

So I'm like, hmm, haven't tried it out with this one yet. Oh, let's see. Let's see what happens. Let's test the level of friendship.

Let's see what Jamie says. Okay. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No.

So, do you have… I'm gonna… Let me pivot here for one quick second. Pivot! Do you have the audio footage of Pete Hernandez yet? Oh, no.

Greg did not give that to me yet. Okay. So, listen. Right.

I gotta get to that. So, listen. There is… Pete Hernandez is out of town and he was in the Dominican Republic and he sent a voice message to my brother and it is fucking… It was like three in the morning. It's hilarious.

It was fucking hilarious. " Now, for someone else, fuck that, I wouldn't have done it, I would have just played it. " Because he has no idea what he said. Yeah, and I will confirm that it's okay or not okay.

Right. So it's either A, going to go on the podcast, or B, it's going to go solely on the Patreon. Oh, but we do get to use it one way or the other. It's going to happen.

Okay, so we'll do that for next week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. See, I'm going to throw this away.

I have nothing here to write on. Okay, write that down. Write that down. So.

Phil, write that down, Phil. On that thing. Good job. So we go to go, so we go to crash at a hotel, Tommy had put us up in a hotel, and we're both tired as shit, but like- No, I was joking, you don't really have to write it down.

But I couldn't, I couldn't get comfortable at this spot. Like the beds were really, so I'm a fucking, I'm a fucking stickler for whatever reason. When I travel, as you know, the beds have to be comfortable, the pillow has to be comfortable. Wasn't it one of your standard hotels?

Oh, Tommy set this up, didn't he? Yeah, yeah. It was not a standard hotel, unfortunately, for me, as far as my criteria. right right right does he not understand you have you know it was it was i have bathroom requirements you have hotel requirements weird the way that it played out like i would never let somebody fucking first of all i wasn't okay with him spending the money to do it i felt bad about that and i was like no it's okay he's like no no i'll go square it i'm like fuck okay so we go to this hotel and i'm like okay the first of all the person at the front desk is This was fucking hilarious.

This person was, he was probably in his late 30s, he probably hasn't bathed in a few weeks, he was wearing a Super Mario t-shirt, he was very furry, he almost looked like a ginger that was furry, like super pasty, very pale, and then kind of reddish brown hair, like not groomed at all. No soul. Super long fuckin', yeah, soulless ginger. He had super long nails, so when he would type, he would use his nails, right?

'Cause I didn't see that, you saw that from your angle. Yeah, Edward Scissor Fingers. So I'm fuckin', I'm already looking at the situation like, man, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm getting a bad vibe here. Yeah, I'm not getting a good room.

I'm really not feeling this. You could tell that this guy gave zero fucks about anybody that walked in the place. Night shift at a hotel in Buffalo. Well, I'm happy to argue that.

Did he? Don't worry, don't you worry. Okay. He gave you a piece of paper.

Oh, he's like, oh, just so you know, there's no smoking. I'm like, were you smoking? No. You smelled, you smelled of smoke.

No, no, so I, so I, no, we were, he had glass, I mean, he was pretty, yeah. He had the, the COVID, no, nothing, nothing, nothing. I had my Outwork Everybody shirt with the P. Right?

He doesn't know what the fuck that is. No, he doesn't know. Maybe he listens. Maybe he's a huge fan.

He knew who you were. Yeah. Huge fan, Mike. The podcast guys, no idea.

So I'm like, is that a question you ask everybody? He says, yeah, I tell everybody that. I'm like, do you have a lot of smoking going on in here? Like, is that a problem?

A lot of hotels have a, do you have to sign a waiver? Is that what it was? That you will not smoke? I guess that's what I signed.

Yeah, a lot of hotels do that now. But he, but he made it adamant to tell me, just so you know, there's no smoking. Like, oh, okay, that's his thing. Yeah, well, no, he hates people.

That's, that's quite apparent. He hates smoking people. So I'm like, okay, this is very awkward. You're providing a service, and you're talking to me like I'm some fucking scumbag, but okay, sure, no problem, whatever.

Go up to the room, like, fuck, man, this is... I need to smoke. I really need a cigar. I couldn't sleep.

I laid in the bed for 10 seconds, and I'm like, this is gonna be fucking miserable for me. This is not gonna work, you know? I'm like, oh, let's go see, let me fucking see what's available. Not to mention, we were up for about 46 hours at this point.

yeah when you're traveling especially the way that we travel you're fucking exhausted so you know that you're gonna get maybe four to six hours of sleep and they gotta count right right you gotta fucking you were looking for other hotels yeah so i fucking started rifling through for i mean i went back and forth in my head for about i don't know 10 minutes and something had clicked in my head i was like okay let's just go stay somewhere else so i looked up a marriott so they had no no no did not be paid no because i feel fucking bad right because like he's paid But anyway, yeah, like he's a good guy, you know, and he didn't do anything wrong. He won't find out, we'll never tell him, he won't find out. Yeah, it'll be our secret. It'll be our secret.

But Phil, just don't tell him we stayed in the river. He didn't, like, look. He'll never know. Look, the fact of the matter that he even fucking offered a hotel room is absolutely amazing.

Because I would never offer a hotel room to any person that comes to visit, you know. Well, we've all had different rep stater houses. We had people crash at us. But you know, like, okay, so me and fucking Phil, all right, see you at your house, pal.

You know what I mean? Right. For one, and for two, apparently they hung out till fucking four or five o'clock in the morning drinking. Oh, wow.

That's what time bars close there for. That's a totally different speed than us. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, right, right. And he had all that free booze brought in from the people, or he had paid, but it was not like he was extra money at a bar somewhere.

Yeah, so I'm like, okay, there's a Merritt up the street, they got a two queen bed set up, well, this'll work. So you did move. Oh, yeah, we're good to go, we'll clock this in. We'll clock this in.

Boom, we go up the street, go to check in. " Because I was trying to get Tommy's money back. And what'd he say to you? " So I'm like, "Oh," and that was the end of the sentence.

" You know, whatever. You gotta get the refer from Expedia. Yeah, he didn't give a shit. " So, go to the Marriott, and there is chaos at this Marriott.

I think what had happened was, because originally Tommy wanted me to stay across the street from the shop at a loft, and it, for whatever fucking- Oh yeah, that's what I was gonna ask you, it was an Airbnb, because I remember that was a discussion before. So whatever fucking reason, you couldn't get a hotel room in Buffalo on this Saturday night. Were the Bills playing? The Bills were playing, but you didn't see people in Bills uniforms, like, there was just something going on.

And they lost, and nobody wanted to wear the shirts. There was something going on. Right. I know, the win, lose, or drive.

Well, La Postaña was in town for the event, there was probably lots of people. Where all these hotels were maxed out. Probably knew Phil was in town. Yeah, Phil, it was Phil.

Phil. So, we go in, guys in a sports jacket, first of all, let me tell you that, okay? He was groomed. And he obviously took care of himself.

Right, right. He knows where Shower is. Guy's name is Coey, by the way. Oh, shout out to Coey.

Yeah. Fucking, he's dealing with chaos. Right. There are people in front of me that also made an Expedia fucking order.

They can't find the rooms. There's someone sitting behind me that's obviously stressed out in the lobby. That something had happened, I don't know what the details were of that, and it's just this one guy, and he's taking care of this shit, he is taking care of fucking business, so I'm like, alright, this is my guy, this is the spot, we have a ride, we are in the right location. And what time is it now?

1:32? No, it's not that bad, it was probably, it was before midnight, or before one, it was like 12:30-ish. So how long were you at the first hotel? About 20 minutes.

Okay, wow. Maybe less. Did you have any time to even get your clothes on? No, we didn't unpack.

We didn't unpack. Right, I mean, so were you just laying on the bed in your clothes? I laid in the bed and assessed. Pretty meditated.

For about five to ten minutes. So it's not like you guys had got all situated, you went to bed. No, no. And then you lay in there going, you know, in the dark going, no, we gotta go.

No, no. Phil, wake up, we're out of here. No, we came to the determination before anything had changed. Oh, okay.

Before there was any type of... Trying to fill in the holes, Michael. Alright, so these two people get dealt with, it's my turn. I'm like, yeah, hey, what are you doing?

and like I'm trying to make jokes or whatever. You can tell this guy's stressed. And he goes, hey, I don't have a two queen bedroom for you. We're booked solid.

Oh. I got a one king bed. I got a one king bed. I'm like, bro, that's fine.

Whatever. Can you bring us a bed? He goes, I can bring a Rolo fucking twin bed for you. Right.

And whatever. Is there anybody else there to do it or does poor Coey have to go? No, they have somebody else. Oh, Demarriott.

They have staff. Yeah. i'm like fine whatever you know he's like uh and he feels bad he's like get whatever you want from the concession stand like he's trying to do it he's doing his best trying to do something like he's putting he gives a fuck right and that's all i need i need to hear that you give a fuck if i'm gonna drop 300 on a room just let me know you give a shit right you know what i mean for five hours yeah for five hours of sleep right you won't even know that we're fucking there right we won't mess up the bed yeah right so i've been to a hotel before just went up and showered and And then left. And I told him, look, I didn't touch the bed.

I just need towels in the bathroom. I even wiped the mirror down. I just needed a shower till I get back out of the road. I have fucking lived that, man.

I have lived that. So I'm like, okay, bro, whatever. It's all good. So we go into the room.

Phil starts to fucking take care of like fucking brushing his teeth or whatever the case may be. And it's like a, it's like a special room. It's like a disabled room. Handicap.

It's all, everything's low. There's the sink is fucking sinks by itself. There's no countertop. It's all kinds of shit.

It's like handrails. All right. But the bed is fucking comfy. And honestly, I could give a shit about anything else around the room.

As long as the bed bed's comfy. Right. But there's one king bed. Right.

So I'm like, all right, dude, you can take the fucking bed. I'm not, you know, he's got fucking hip replacements. He's this guy's fucking, you know, like I am not about to tell you that you're going to sleep in the twin. So he's like, okay, so the twin bed comes in, I lay on the twin bed, I'm like, fuck, this is worse than the other place.

Oh, it's a roll away bed. So now, okay, so now it's, it's probably didn't even lay flat. It's like a, you know, no, it's a, it was a full mattress and it came in and they dropped it down. Oh, yeah.

So they kind of, no, no, no, not to that. It wasn't that bad. So now I'm like, okay, I'm the type of guy where I'm like, if I fucking want something, right, it's happening. Right?

You bought a bed. So now the only debate in my... I'm sorry, let me back up. So I said to the co, he said, "Listen, then give me two fucking king bedrooms.

" Whatever. " Right. We are booked solid tonight. There's nothing I can do.

Okay, man. Just fucking bring in the bed. Whatever. Have somebody who has two queens who's only using one of them?

So wait, wait, wait, wait. So I lay in the fucking bed and then I'm thinking, alright, am I going to turn this, am I going to turn it on? Am I going to be the guy that gets the fucking results? And I'm like, I'll give it about 80% of my efforts.

I won't go the full 100% committal like this is happening, but I am going to implement my strategic tactics, and I'm going to try, and I'm going to try. I actually called the Doubletree next door. They were booked out. Yeah, we were fucked.

This was it. I'm like, okay, so let me, and that's exactly what I said, I'll call the, oh, there's a Doubletree right there, let me call them. And they said, no, we don't have any rooms. Greg Cezo, Del Bill, Three Hotel Rooms, you were there for one night!

I don't give a fuck. I do not give a fuck. So, I'm like, okay, they're booked out, so this is it, we're here. I'm like, alright, I'm gonna commit to figuring out a way to get another room in this fucking hotel.

Now, if it doesn't happen though, I'm not gonna go nuts to have that result. Right. But I am going to put forth some effort here. So I call the front desk.

Hey, is the bed, you know, hey, first I go, hey, is the bed coming? And he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, the bed's on its way, and I go, okay, bed shows up, so I call the front desk again, hey, is there anything you can do, is there another room, are you sure there isn't anything you can do, I have to, I have to sleep on this, on this bed, he goes, there's nothing I can do, I go, when is the last person, like something else from the concessions to answer, I go, is has, and so I go, okay, hang up, I'm like, okay, I know how to play this game, relentless. Wait two minutes. Call again.

"Hey, bro. Hey, listen. Has anybody canceled in like the past 10 minutes that you think that you can give me their room or anything like that? Is there any, is there, there's any possibility that you can find a room again for me?

Because man, this, this bed's tough. I'm not gonna lie. " And he goes, "No, no one has canceled. " I go, "Okay, man.

All right. I understand. Thanks. " Wait two more minutes.

Fuckin'. " Okay. What time are we looking at now? It's 1:15.

So you gave him till 2:15? I gave him till two o'clock. Till two o'clock. Yeah.

And you did not have an early morning flight. No, no, no. But it doesn't matter. Your body is set up to wake up.

It doesn't, your body doesn't care. Well, yeah, but I mean, if he called it, let's say, you know, it was three or four o'clock. Yeah. I still would've made that move.

Because, look, at the end of the day, the fucking bed is atrocious. Yeah, but for, what, four hours maybe? Look, four hours of good sleep or four hours of bad sleep, there is a difference. There is a significant difference.

So it takes about 20 minutes. I fall asleep. Like, we're lights out. Phil offers me to sleep in his bed.

It's very nice of Phil. Yeah, that was his move. You can just sleep here. I was like, bro, we can cuddle.

You guys could have done the pillow wall between the two of us. Yeah, no, he was doing the right thing. One above the blankets, one below the blankets. He was trying, I mean, it was a huge bed.

Right. You know, I mean, there would have been sex. Nobody would. But, you know.

Nobody would have known. Listen, you know, I can be very rapey in the middle of the night, you know, who knows? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, it's crazy.

Oh, he doesn't know about the night terrors? I had one last night, dude. Oh, you're so tired. Yeah, that's exactly, I popped up, I was screaming.

So, CPAP and all, bro. I've only seen one of those films. Yeah. He's only having one.

Poor Britney, she feels sick. She's like, what happened? " The man under the bed! I'm sorry.

No, no. You see a person looming over your fucking, over you, is what's scary. Oh. Yeah.

So I jump up like fucking Mortal Kombat. Right. You know what I mean? I'm ready to go.

Finish him! I've never, like, when those dreams happen to me, I wish there was video footage, because I must do some, I must have some crazy, incredible abilities. We can put a camera in your room. I am fucking up and out of that bed, landing on my feet.

I don't... No, there's probably no camera in your room. No, no, no. How fast did you have the night there?

What's that? How fast did that come on? Like right when you fell asleep when you got home? No, it had to be an hour or two deep.

I don't know how long mine was. Oh, you had one too? I jumped up. I thought somebody slammed the door in my house.

Oh. And I flipped out. I woke up. I was like, oh, and I was tagging my wife.

It was from the rapey sex. It was from the rapey. She got so nervous. I've never seen her as nervous as she was that night.

Dude, it's overall fatigue. Like when the fatigue sets in, you know, you get this fight or flight fucking, you know, it's insane. All right, you've been asleep for 20 minutes and the phone rings. Ring, ring, ring, ring.

I'm like, oh, I'm like, yes. I'm like, hello. He tripped over everything. He's like, hey, it's me in the front desk.

I'm like, hey, what's up, man? You got me? He goes, I got a room for you. I said, fucking sweet, dude.

Awesome. I'm like, where do you need me to go? Like, I'm out of it. I'm like, where do you need, am I just going to a room?

Is somebody going to meet me there? What am I doing? What is going on? What's going on?

He's like, and he sounded kind of perplexing. Yeah, yeah, no, just come to the front desk. I'm like, oh, okay. All right.

Okay. Okay. Thank you. I sleep in the nude.

Dude, I was, I was borderline like, do I put shoes on? I couldn't find- Oh, in with the no shoes. I couldn't find my socks. I just shoved my fucking feet into my shoes.

Right. And grabbed my fucking suitcase that was still packed, you know, zipped everything up and fucking went down there. And he's like, okay. So apparently, and he kind of explained it very vaguely, so there's like a, a, there's a one room thing, like a, in case of a maintenance emergency, there is a room, right?

And he's like, I hope we have no maintenance emergencies tonight. And he's like, here's your room, is 50 bucks fair? And I said, yeah, bro. I mean, I thought I was paying the full fucking, I thought I was paying full boat.

I'm like, apps a fucking 50 is a steal! Are you kidding me? You could have aimed that a lot higher. Want me to blow you before I go upstairs?

Whoa, whoa. If you need a blowjob, I will go get Phil. I will go get Phil, and he will take care of that for you. I'm sleeping.

Well, you don't have to wake up. I'm sleeping. Yeah, no, it's fine. Just open your mouth.

It's fine. He's probably a mouth breather, I would imagine. So, boom. I'm in a room.

I got my own bed. I'm fucking... King? It was a queen.

I don't give a shit. I didn't care. It was a bed that you... You should have made Phil move.

Phil, there's a queen waiting for you. So there's a new room upstairs. No, I already, I already set him into a panic by hitting the fuck, turn on the light, answer the phone, you know, like, I'm going. He's like, what?

Okay, okay, okay, fine. Yes, yes, go, you go. He thought it was time for the sex. This is it, Pollard told me, this is it right now, the lights are on.

I'd rather the lights off, Michael, if it's all possible. So the guy fucking made it happen. Better with the lights off, Phil, better with the lights off. But like, so then you finally, so like you, like you settle like slightly after 2, 2:30 in the morning.

It didn't matter. Like, come eight o'clock, my body's like... Six hours? Six hours?

Yeah, it was reasonable. Yeah, yeah. It was reasonable. Believe me, it was much more beneficial to me than trying to sleep on that cot or at the other hotel.

Right. You know? So it worked out. I'm like, okay, sweet.

I was like, I wish I could just stay here longer. I could just stay in bed. Well, I mean, you had nowhere to go. No, but, you know, your body's like, food time.

It's Sunday fun day. Sunday fun day food time. Oh, you gotta go find the donuts. Give me my fucking waffle, goddamn it.

Right. Let's go. Mary, I'd have breakfast? Yep.

Oh, yeah. Oh, it was really funny. So they have like two waffle makers, you know, and like you put the, here's how this works. I'm a seasoned traveling vet now at this point.

You fucking put the syrup, the batter into the waffle, and then you turn it. Right. And then the timer clicks, and then the timer clicks, you pull out your waffle, boom, you're in business. Right.

Well, a lot of these people here, they don't travel much. No, no, no. So I see this person, like, I kind of panicked. This person puts the fucking batter in, closes it, and she doesn't understand the concept of just turning it, right?

So she picks it up, and she's doing this, like a counterclockwise large motion with it, and she can't seem to figure out why it's not going. I'm like, no, no, no, no, that's not how that works. Look, boop, and I turn it. She's like, oh.

And she wasn't by herself. There was like another three people kind of watching her fucking do this. Like, my goodness, guys. I'm like...

No, I... Like fuckin' minions. Right. Oh.

Oh. Yeah. But, you know, we survived. Then we did a...

Then we had a romantic day at the fuckin' Niagara Falls. Yeah, he goes, "Where are they at to go, huh? " That's where they are. " Well, after night of sex, he wanted to go romance.

Do you want to go, you want to go see the, like, I don't care, the water, you want me to go see the water? I don't fucking, but I instantly felt bad because I guilted Phil into going. Right. And I'm like, okay, bro.

Wasn't there like a picture, did you guys get a picture together? No, no, no, no. I'm like, okay, bro, we'll go see Niagara Falls. So we go, there's no, and I'm like, this place is going to be packed.

There's no, it was only 20 minutes. There's, this place is going to be packed. There's no, there's going to be no place to park. He's like, but yeah, no one's going to be there.

" On a Sunday. On a Sunday. " Couples everywhere. Yeah, very romantic for everybody.

So I'm like, I go to Chaya Park, parking lot full, parking lot full. I'm like, "Fuck. Okay, here we go. " And it's like $30 for the day.

" I will buy you a fucking hotel room. I will cover dinner. We're dinner, I am not covering the Niagara Falls fucking parking. And then like he instantly makes me feel guilty, he's like, okay, that's fine.

I'm like, fuck, I'm like, whatever, I'll pay for the parking, I'll cover the parking, whatever. He paid for the parking. So we park, we go, we go to walk, and we have no idea where the fuck we are. So we're walking to the, now we make it down.

I don't imagine it's hard to find. Well, it is a little, it gets a little complicated. There are, apparently there are two locations for these falls. Oh, is it?

Oh, yeah, yeah, wow. So we go to walk, and he goes into the information desk to get the information, it takes him like 20 fucking minutes. I'm like, "Okay, what the fuck is going on? " Right?

" Is it further away? " Like, can't we, like, where are those bicycles? How close to the other one? Where are those bicycle rentals?

Like, we saw a bicycle rentals. Can we go back? And he's like, maybe. And we're thinking about it.

Like, fuck, let's just go walk. Scooter or something? So we go to walk. They don't have electric scooters.

In New York, it's a fucking... One of those pedal cabs where the guys peddle in. That guy would have... Oh, I totally would have...

That guy would have... We would have earned every bit of that. Yeah, that would have been fucking... Can I take one of you at a time, please?

500-pound pole for a party of two. So we start walking, and all of a sudden I start seeing these cars drive by. I'm like, son of a bitch, we could have drove closer to this. Like, why the fuck are we walking?

What is going on? Was she closer parking? Like, they didn't tell you could drive there? I mean, what the fuck?

You know, so. Well, you said to park again. Yeah, I would have figured that out. You're already in for $30.

We're halfway down. And I was like, what happened? I was like, well, we're already fucking, we're fucked for $30. Right.

Well, we're going to get fucked for another $30. This is going to be a $60 fucking. $60 to see a horseshoe. To park the car.

Yeah. All right, fuck it. We're walking. So we walk, we walk, we go see the horseshoe, and it's very nice.

It's a very nice view. He does a little video. Yeah, it's a very nice fucking view. About sport fishing at the falls?

Yeah, he's like, oh, I'm gonna do a video. I'm like, all right, cool. Do whatever. You do whatever the fuck you want to do.

We are here. I have now... This is for you. I have witnessed said falls.

Do what you said. I am excited about the falls. I've seen the water running. I'm ready to go.

There are idiots that do like this Maid of the Mist ride where everybody gets in the boat and they all wear red ponchos. Wear the raincoats. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't talk into that?

No, no, no. That wasn't happening. We're seeing it, and we're going. We're fucking going.

So, yeah, we lived that. That was very nice. And then we had some wings, which I don't see what the big deal are with wings and buffalo. They're like, you gotta try the wings.

Oh, buffalo wings, buffalo wings. You gotta try the wings. So the first thing I say to Tommy is like, hey, is there a buffalo place that I can eat a buffalo? Like, that's what I want.

Oh, you went to Buffalo. Bring me the place. I want to go to the place where, you know. Is there one of those?

There's got to be a place for buffalo. I've been to buffalo restaurants in Florida. Like bison you're talking about? Yeah, that's a buffalo.

Is that the same thing? Yeah. Are you sure? I'm pretty positive.

I want the buffalo in buffalo. It's named after buffalo. Right. Aren't they like walking down the street there?

You think they would be buffalo connoisseurs? You know what I mean? I mean, fuck, they're called the buffalo bills, they're not called the buffalo wings. You know what I mean?

They have the whole silhouette of the buffalo. I want the buffalo. I want the buffalo. No, that wasn't happening.

No? They didn't have the wings. The wings were good. The wings were good.

The wings were good. Did you get the buffalo flavored wings? I bought exactly what Tommy told me to purchase. He told me to buy a Weck sandwich.

Weck? W-E-K? Which is just like, it's just like sliced prime rib. I thought maybe you stuttered or something.

It's like sliced prime rib on a burger thing bun. All right. Which was good. Right.

And he told me to get the Cajun medium wings. Okay. Oh. No, I don't usually get hot wings.

Right. But I did it. Yeah, they were good. They were good, they were a little spicy, they were good, right, Phil?

They were good. Yeah, I didn't get those. You got the honey barbecue wings. Right.

Sweet tooth. " Right, no. Fuck no. Yeah, but now you've had buffalo wings in buffalo.

Yes, I did. But here's the thing. Like having rice-a-roni in San Francisco. I feel like...

San Francisco. The wings didn't come from a buffalo. They didn't come from a buffalo. No, they came from a chicken.

The chicken. Yeah, exactly. The chicken wings. The chicken wings.

Buffalo is the sauce. I had the sauce that he recommended. Right. I didn't see buffalo sauce on the menu.

So, look. He's a little more bitter than I am. They teed off on him pretty well, the Miami Dolphins. He's like, fuck this.

But, you know, I don't know, man. For one, we had this conversation. For one, I really feel like we're very fucking spoiled here in Central Florida. Like we have a lot, we have areas that are tourist attractions where you have these fucking people that will come in and create, you know, the fucking magic upper tier shit.

Right. Not only that, like experiences. Yeah. Like winter park has fucking amazing food.

Like there are these spots where you can go and eat and it's very accessible. A lot of it's reasonable in price. And you're like, that was a great fucking meal. Right.

And then we had these wings. What was the name of the restaurant? It was bar bill, bar bill North. So just a bar.

Yeah, it was a wing place. A wing place. Yeah, it was a bar. So, but this is what was recommended.

Right. I think that I feel like I need to set the precedence and be like, listen. So Tommy said, go to this specific restaurant. You need to go to here, order this sandwich.

You need this stuff. And this wing. And don't get me wrong, it was good. Right, right, right, it was good.

But I wasn't like, fuck me, yes. But they're like, oh, you didn't get home and go, honey, let me tell you. The best part of the trip was the food. Yeah.

No. You know. She just went, I'm sick, I hate you. I need to set the precedence of, hey listen, you guys know I've been friends with Skip for over 10 years, right?

You know that we've had several dinners and he does the research as to where the fuck to go. I mean, there are probably 15 places I could tell you off the top of my head that I've eaten with Skip and I'm like, fucking amazing. That was amazing. Everything's good.

Skip. The barbecue place he took us to? Were you ordered by the pound, not the plate? Yes.

Styles and Switch. Yeah, a guy TikTok that yesterday. I saw it on TikTok. I made it to go show everyone.

What are you laughing? I've been here. Skip took me. Yeah, yeah, we eat there every time we go to Austin.

Yeah, the guy had the paper on the plate and everything, yeah. Fucking, that shit's amazing, right? And he even showed the sign where you order by the pound. Dude, even when he was here in Orlando, he's like, okay, here's the data.

Here's where we're gonna eat. Let's break this down. Here are the top three places that I think we should eat. And I'm like, I've heard of one of them.

I'm like, fuck, there's other two places that I haven't even fucking known about. So, we go to, we hit his two spots, two out of three, right? And the other one was Ravenous Pig, which I eat it all the time. i don't eat it all the time but you know i eat at right if i'm gonna go to a place and get really good food or it's like a special occasion i'm going to ravenous pig right but the other two places were fucking amazing fucking amazing like i would go back to both of those places without question like yes yes and one of them was in the hotel oh yeah so so food was okay the dino barbecue shit was fucking amazing though yeah that was probably the best food yeah the whole time yeah that shit was really good i mean all of it the ribs the sausage the fucking chicken like all of that stuff i'm like this shit's good you know i had the mac and cheese he didn't yeah i was i was keeping it real until about midnight that night where we crushed mcdonald's when you make no no oh you cross over the midnight so you're into sunday sunday baby let's go he's over one i want mcdonald's he's preaching all the time like i can't eat this can't eat that and then we get in the car to go to the hotel he's like we're going to mcdonald's i'm like fucking hungry again i go are you hungry he said yes you know it's really funny so like sunday i'll go ham it is what it is i'm fucking you know now i'm back on fucking intermittent fasting on off workout days and like i'm pretty dialed in on my diet so like there's one day where work i'm gonna go hard in the fucking paint right right and i can go fucking hard in the paint come sunday this motherfucker's like having heart palpitations on the plane and shit he's like i'm having a heart attack and stuff like that i'm like wait a second but like you go hard in the paint Every day.

Six days a week, on average. Oh, he rolls his eyes. So, Sunday's the day he doesn't eat bad. Motherfucker, you had the mac and cheese.

That's a fucking, that's a place. Did you not? You fucking, so. Alright.

But, that was the event. That was the trip. We had a great time. Shout out to Koei.

Koei's my dude. Fucking got me a bed. Send him a nice letter. Dear Koei.

Send him a little cigar package. Shout out to Tommy, Nickel City, Kara, Stacey for fucking taking care of everybody. And then the-- Jerry and the kids. And then the Herf boys.

Yeah. Jerry and the kids. Well, Gio's his partner. Right.

Well, you know, they didn't let me on the show. They don't know who the fuck I am. They definitely don't know who the fuck you are. Wow.

He wasn't in the one photo either, I know. Yeah. Jerry, if you're listening. " So we're doing the podcast and we're kind of flowing and then all, like, Tommy fucking comes in three or four times trying to interrupt.

hurry up or oh you got to put blair on like i'm like oh excuse me like what the fuck i'm like could somebody fucking tell him to fucking calm down i'm like we're we are creating content for him right like this is this is what are you doing was he not on the show either he was not on and they said that he was gonna go on the show but he didn't go on the show instead instead he was like a fucking let's go wrap it up wrap it up oh it's over chop chop let's go let's go we got an What's been going on? Oh. Well, we're in an hour. Right now?

Yeah, well, 57 minutes. No news? I've got seven pages, but... Give me the news.

Fuck it. Let's do a fucking... You want to go over? You want just the Florida...

Every other story is Roma Craft, so... Give me a Pedro exclusive fucking host show. Do you want just... Just the...

An hour and 30. Just the Florida... Oh, you're going an hour and 30. Let's go.

All right. From the four corners of the world, all the cigar industry news you could possibly need. The Cigar Hustler Podcast Report, with Mike Toon. Baca Yelly heading to Humidor Cigar Shop next month.

A new size Aromacraft Tobac's Baca line will head to the Humidor Cigar Shop next month as part of a Cockeysville, Maryland-based retailer's - Cockeysville? - Cockeysville, Maryland-based retailer's 25th anniversary celebration of September 23rd. The company - oh, that's the day of the Boonton Palmer birthday extravaganza here at the cigar shop. The company will release the Bacca 6x54 box press toro size during an event with Michael Rosales, co-founder of Romacraft Tobac.

The Bacca Bend uses a Cameroon wrapper and filler from the Jamstrand? Jamstrand. Jamstrand. Jamstrand.

I don't know. How do you say it? Jamstrand. How do you say it?

Jamstrand. Jamstrand. Hamstrand. I don't know.

In a valley in Honduras. Yeah. Romacraft Tobac does not disclose the Bacca's binder nor the filler. Jamstrand.

89 per cigar. The Bacca at Kaki will be called the Bukkaki. You can get it in limited supply. Or healthy doses.

Let's do all the Roma Craft stories. Okay. Roma Craft Tobac Plans Intemperance, Volstead, 1920. There was a lot of...

Volstead. V-O-L-S-T-E-A-D. I like that. Yes.

There will be a fourth Intemperance line from Roma Craft Tobac, though it's unclear when it will arrive. Let's talk about that. An Instagram... Oh, Skip put up a picture.

Special rapper. Skip Martin, co-founder of Roma Craft Tobac, shared a picture of a prototype of the Intemperance Volstead 1920, which indicates it's a dark Sumatra blend. In text with Halfwheel, Martin said he was still working on the blend, meaning details like sizes, pricing, and even a release date remain unknown. But Charlie was all up his ass anyways once he saw the post.

"Hey, what's that? What's he doing? " And Skip's are like, "Dude, I have no fucking... just relax.

" Romo Craft Tobac's Weasel Fest 2022 taking place September 4th. The second Weasel Fest event will take place Sunday, September 4th in Austin, Texas. Romacraft Tobac hosted the first Weasel Fest last year, a postponed celebration of the company's 10th anniversary. Many of the details are the same as last year's event, though it will be hosted at the Fair Market and event space in Austin.

m. with three different musical acts, three different alcohol suppliers, and barbecue from one of Austin's most highly regarded barbecue restaurants. Okay, so, Phil, you're going? Are you going?

Yeah, man. Oh, you're going. I'm definitely going to Weasel Fest. You're going.

Are you going to Weasel Fest? No, I'm not going. So, WW? Why the fuck aren't you going?

It's a holiday weekend. It's always a holiday weekend. I'm sorry. My wife has plans.

Cancel them. I can't cancel plans to go to another cigar event. Why don't you just bring her? You bring her everywhere.

Because she doesn't like going. Oh, she's learned her lesson. She don't want to go now. No?

No, no. She don't want to go. She don't want to go to a seven-hour cigar event? I really don't think so.

Oh, really, okay. So, what are your plans, Mike? We're going to Tampa, and I have to meet the son's potential new in-laws, finally. Mmm.

Can't do that some other time? No. Why not? Because I've not gone twice.

Come on. I've not gone twice now. There's time to think I'm doing it on purpose. I can't miss this one, too.

That's a pussy. I mean, okay, I understand. That's a pussy. Yeah, yeah, that's a shit.

Yeah, yeah, that's a shit. Can we lock you in for next year? If there's one next year, we'll see. Skip says this is the last one.

He says no. He said that last year. Tickets are selling fast if they're not already sold out. Okay.

Romo Craft adding Wanderlust Kaiser Soce. Amazing cigar. It is. It's a very good cigar.

There are two prominent types of Brazilian tobaccos used for cigar wrappers. Brazilian Alaparaca and Brazilian Malafina. You're welcome. Keep going.

Later this year, Romo Craft tobacco released a cigar that features both in the same cigar. The Wanderlust Kaiser Soce. is a 5x52 Robusto that will use a barber pole design, meaning it will feature two wrappers intertwined together to create an alternating pattern that has a Brazilian Aparaca. How do you say that again?

Aparaca. Aparaca. Wrapper to the standard Wunderlust blend would use a Brazilian Mata Fina wrapper. Underneath that is an Indonesian binder and an undisclosed filler blend.

Indo's very nice. White ash. Good form. Charlie says it's delicious.

It is fucking delicious. Only available in Germany. Yeah, it's coming to Germany later in the year. I think we might have some here hidden in the back.

Stinky, stinky. All right. We have two Florida stories. All right, good.

This is perfect. What a great, this worked out well. Well, I cut out all the stuff we don't need to talk about. Yeah, fuck the other guys.

Yeah, here's what's going on in Romacraft. Here's the Romacraft. Here's the Romacraft news. Let's see.

Naked man with a machete tried to rob a man of his clothes in Volusia County. Oh, that's local. The land. Nice.

The land, next city up. Volusia County Sheriff's Office arrested a naked man, they say, He threw a machete at another man and demanded his clothes for running away and approaching several vehicles at a gas station. The incident began Monday morning in the area near Volusia County Fairgrounds. What do you do if that happens to you?

" Phil's taking his clothes off right now. I guess you start taking your clothes off. What kind of guy does this guy look like? It doesn't matter, he's got a fucking machete!

He's got a machete! And you have nothing. Okay, Keanu runs at you with a machete, or Mikey runs at you with a machete? Okay, but is Keanu strung out looking fucking high as a kite?

Naked, with his eyes all watching, I mean naked. 10 coffees in, and a bang. How about the shirt? Can I give you the shirt?

The shirt will cover your nuts. Yeah, how about just pants? You want just the pants? Can I give you the pants?

Meet me halfway. Meet me halfway. Here's a sock. I mean, you could try to run, I guess, and hope he's slow, but he threw, the guy met and ran, because he said he threw it at him, can you imagine if he pelted him in the back, like a perfect throw, oh right, oh, that'd be terrible, it's like a ninja star, dude, guys like us, we're not running that far, what if he's, you know, you take the pants, and then you try to get him to give you the machete so he can put the pants on, like, here you go, here's the pants, let me hold that for you, like, how do you drop it, or you take the shirt off, you throw it at him, oh, reverend, Put it around his head.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or you take your shirt off and you do that thing where you wrap it around your hand like in a knife fight, and then... Oh, like John Wick or some shit? Right.

If I could take my belt off and be like... He's gonna cut your arm off with the shirt on it. I'll tell you, let's go, bitch. Or you just roll it up.

Everybody gets scared of that. Where'd he get the machete? I mean, fuck. He's naked.

He couldn't hide it somewhere. I don't have any clothes, but I have this machete. I don't know. I'm gonna go out with my machete.

I don't need my pants. I'm gonna go find someone else's. Fuck it. I got my machete and no shoes.

I love it. He's up with no shoes. Yeah, hey. Maybe his sister daughter called and had car trouble.

Close to the prison. Yeah, yeah. Had to show up quickly. Ah, I got no pants!

I left the house, but I had the ability to grab the machete. Well, she said her car broke down near the prison. I need you to close your bike and your motorcycle. What'd he say?

You close your boots and your motorcycle. I can try to put out the cigar on them. Terminator 2, nothing? No, no.

I got the reference. I got the reference. All right, down in Miami-Dade County, Michael, First Lady DeSantis kicks off Burmese python hunting in Florida Everglades. Nice.

That's right. Florida is so badass. We have to hunt down the snakes once a year. We hunt the snakes.

Hunting season for the pythons just happened. m. m. on August 14th.

Prizes included $2,500 for the most pythons captured. $1,500 for the longest python. Last year the first prize winner captured 223 Pythons. That's nice.

That got crushed. While the $1,500 winner bagged a snake that was more than 15 feet long. Oh, man. That thing is eating something.

That's eating. What the fuck? It's eating. I'm still recovering.

That snake is eating some birds. It's eating some stuff. It ain't a lot of eating. It ain't an alligator.

It's me standing the man. What was that, Phil? That's not how they're talking buffalo. That's how they're talking buffalo.

That's how they're talking buffalo. They're talking the Canadian buffalo. Hey. You want some wings, eh?

Hey, you want a wing egg? A lot of Canadians actually come down into Buffalo, I mean it's 20 minutes away. We actually almost went across the border. If we had passports, but where would we go?

We'd go get some syrup or some shit? This is where John McTavish fucking chimes in. " That's where he's gonna tell us, "Hey, assholes, do you see how big Canada is? " Right, he's right there, right?

Yeah, that's the spot. Canada's only, you know... It's not that big. He's right there.

10 kilometers in diameter, you gotta use the metric system, 10 kilometers in diameter. Like the car. Yeah, my fucking car is from Ontario, so it's at kilometers an hour, I'm like, this is great, I'm going 100. There wasn't a conversion thing?

There was, there was, but it wasn't the dominant one, you know? Oh, instead of being underneath, it was on the top. Yeah, yeah, yeah, kilometers an hour is the big one. Like, wait a second.

God pulls you over, you know how fast you're going? 100 kilometers, apparently, officer. I don't know, but I'm sorry. It's like, dang, this Fort Edge goes 260 miles per hour.

Yeah, it didn't feel that fast to me, but apparently I was fucking, I fucked up. All right, that's it. That is the news. Patreon, what are we doing, Patreon?

Yeah, what are we smoking today? Oh, we bought these today, by the way. I hate when we pay for things. The La Patissiere.

We smoked it already. The Senadores? No. I don't know, we brought, we brought something back from the PCA.

The Esfumato NC Major we smoked. That was the C-Major we smoked. That was the silver band one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the foot band thing.

Look, it was either this or I popped off on the DK Duo, so you need two boxes of that, bro. Oh, no, no, no, we could have just smoked one, I smoked the other one. Yeah, that would have been fucking, you're $60 deep. Yeah, $60 a thing on that one.

Or we could do these for like $10. Oh, let's do those for $10. Okay. Each?

Or for the total? Well, the total retail is probably $10. Right, I understand, we get a discount. We get the discount.

We have an in at Cigar Hustler. Right, we know people. Yeah. All right.

Welcome to... Welcome to... No, I was going to say, this has been... This has been episode 242 of Cigar Hustlers Podcast.

Thanks, everybody, for listening. Thank you. Please like and subscribe and hit the bell. Hit the fucking bell, goddammit.

Hit the bell. All right, bye. Bye. The Cigar Hustlers Podcast, its owners and its sponsors take no responsibility for the opinions or statements made by the talk show host or their guest.

Statements or show topics are not necessarily the beliefs of Mike and Mike Productions or the podcast providers, and opinions between talk show hosts may differ. It is not our intention to libel, incite, or hurt anyone's feelings. We invite you to write the show's host, Mike Szczepankewicz, with any feedback or suggestions that you have for their shows. These broadcasts are presented and made public as entertainment in the hope that they will be entertaining to the audience.

This has been a Cigar Hustlers Podcast, a Mike and Mike production. m. for all new episodes. Hi, I'm doing, I'm Husto-Iroa.

Yeah, we just don't have to do a single podcast ever again. Perfect. I'm good, Mike and Mike. How are you guys doing?

The Hojo, the... Hojo! It's the Hojo. De Madre.

You didn't even let him fuck it up all the way. I can't get past Hojo! I don't even have to try it. He's not even going to try it.

We're going to cover a lot of ground here, Mike. All right. Try to keep up. That's a sign of a good podcast.

It'd be like four cigars when I walked in a door. All right, end this.

Show Notes

Mikey and Phil retail us with the Buffalo Hunting Adventures in the North!