Cigar Hustlers Podcast 265 La France with Pete Hernandez

Episode Summary

Episode 265 of the Cigar Hustlers Podcast opens with the usual banter between Michael "the King" Szczepankiewicz, producer Mike "BDP" Palmer and cameraman Phil — garage organization with sponsor A Rack Above, a listener gift of Polish "war bear" shirts and CBD from CBD Piggy, Mike's fill-in appearance on the Smoking Tobacco podcast, the show's name landing on Jason Walport's race car, and the Patreon review of the week (Blackened by Drew Estate).

The industry news block covers Indiana Ortiz — formerly of Nicaragua American Tobacco and general manager at Mombacho Cigars — launching her own company, Casa de Ortiz, with a first line called Primavera focused on tobacco from Nicaragua's Condega region; Habanos releasing the Cohiba Siglo de Oro for the Chinese Year of the Rabbit, a 4.5 x 54 Exitosos parejo with an authentication chip; NACSA (Fábrica de Tabacos Nicasueño) being named Factory of the Year, the home of RoMa Craft Tobac, Powstanie and Fable, with the guys telling stories about Skip Martin's legendary obsession with factory detail; El Septimo opening a third lounge in Tucson, Arizona; and J.C. Newman planning a working tobacco farm in Ybor City next to its factory and planned hotel in the old Sanchez y Haya building. A Florida-man story about a Fort Myers Joe's Crab Shack break-in rounds it out.

The centerpiece is an impromptu phone call to sales rep Pete Hernandez, who describes the all-expenses trip to France he and his brother Steven took on El Septimo's dime — wild boar hunting on grounds once hunted by Louis XIII, champagne, cognac, Bordeaux and escargot, and a delayed return home. The guys rib him about being the top rep in the country, his Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust lines showing up all over year-end lists, and his next, far less glamorous trip to Camp Paladino in Honduras. The episode closes with Listener of the Week Julian Gordon and Shop of the Week Mom's Cigars in Scarsdale, New York.

In This Episode

1. 01
   Opening banter and A Rack Above
   Michael commits to installing an A Rack Above overhead garage rack and plans a commercial shoot with Mike and Mike Productions.
2. 02
   Listener gifts and side projects
   Polish war-bear shirts and CBD from CBD Piggy, Mike's guest spot on the Smoking Tobacco podcast, and the show's sponsorship of Jason Walport's race car.
3. 03
   Casa de Ortiz and Primavera
   Indiana Ortiz leaves Mombacho to launch her own brand, with a debut line built around Condega tobacco and her family's farming history.
4. 04
   Cohiba Siglo de Oro Year of the Rabbit
   Habanos' fourth consecutive Chinese New Year release, a 4.5 x 54 Exitosos with a chip in the box for authentication.
5. 05
   NACSA named Factory of the Year
   The Nicasueño factory behind RoMa Craft Tobac, Powstanie and Fable gets top honors, with stories about Skip Martin's fanatical attention to detail.
6. 06
   El Septimo and J.C. Newman news
   El Septimo opens a third lounge in Tucson while J.C. Newman plans a 10,000-square-foot tobacco farm in Ybor City beside its factory and future hotel.
7. 07
   Phone call with Pete Hernandez
   The rep recounts his El Septimo-funded trip to France — boar hunting, cognac, champagne and a travel-delayed extra day in Paris — plus an upcoming Honduras trip.
8. 08
   Florida story, Listener and Shop of the Week
   A Fort Myers Joe's Crab Shack burglary gone gross, Listener of the Week Julian Gordon and Shop of the Week Mom's Cigars in Scarsdale, New York.

Brands & Cigars Discussed

Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.

Transcript

Welcome to the Cigar Hustlers Podcast Episode 265 with your host, Michael the King, Stepankiewicz, and his producer, Mike, BDP Palmer, and me, I'm Phil, your cameraman, they say intelligence chases me. but I'm faster, so I must be an athlete or something. Thank you to Mitch and his son for this week's Phil Slam. Better overhead garage storage with A Rack Above.

Why must we damage our home just to gain overhead garage storage? A Rack Above has challenged the status quo by creating a superior freestanding overhead garage storage rack that will not harm your home trusses or ceiling. A rack above features a 48-inch shelf that spans the entire width of any garage and adjusts to your height, keeping items within arm's reach and allowing you to ditch the ladder. A rack above will fit any size garage.

The independent telescoping legs adjust to go up and down steps, behind hot water heaters, around AC units, and between electrical boxes. A rack above is the last overhead garage storage rack you will ever need to purchase. A rack above is easily disassembled and reinstalled in any garage. No matter where life takes you, A Rack Above will be with you.

For pricing, call 407-474-1214. com. Nice. So I did a thing.

Oh. Yeah. What was that? What was the thing?

I've committed to the Rack Above. Oh, I thought it was something different. Yeah, no, no. I have committed to the Rack Above.

Oh, perfect. I'm very excited about it. Oh, nice. You know, here's the thing, man.

When it comes to a fucking garage, it's... like the Christmas decorations are down, right? Still. No, they're down.

We've taken them down. They're in boxes and shit. Oh, take them down in the house. I thought you meant the boxes were like down in the garage.

They are. They're all down in the garage. The inflatables are in the, like it's a fucking explosion. And then what happens, I love my wife's death, Brittany.

I love you very much, but don't hurt me. But she treats the garage like it's a fucking black hole. So, you know, she just says something. Oh, don't need this in the house.

Should I do the garbage bag thing? Yes. Garbage. Yep.

Right outside the back door. I trip over 90% of the time. Oh, it goes into the garage. Well, yeah, that's what I mean.

Yeah. Like, they open the garage door and just, bloop, put it down. This is not my problem. Right.

This is out of the house. This is out of the house. So, boxes and shit have accumulated again. I always park my car.

Oh, Amazon boxes, did you? I always park my car in the fucking garage, and I haven't been able to do so. So, I talked to Steve, and I said, "Hey, look, let's just fuck it. Let's just, let's go a rack above.

" So, he's like, "Okay, let's set it up. " That's what he told me, 'cause we're working out a shoot to do a commercial. Yeah. Nice.

I'm very excited. I'm very excited. I can't wait 'til it's in. A Mike and Mike production commercial?

Yes, for his website, for trade shows, and for us, obviously, we would use it here as part of the show. Yeah. Sweet. So you guys are gonna see my messy garage, I think.

Uh-oh. I've seen your messy garage. But the viewers. Oh, there'll be definitely a before.

A before and an after. you know fuck man there's nothing worse it's like when you leave to start your day right i like there are a couple things that i need to do i need the house to be clean before i walk out the door right yes because i wanted to be 100 so i vacuum or whatever the case may be and i make sure that everything's in order and i feel good walking out the door right but then my day is fucked up when i have to walk through my fucking garage oh because the house is clean yeah and i'm like son of a Bitch, I ain't got that kind of time. Right. You know, and I don't know where I'm going to pull this stuff, so.

Now you do. It's going to be a rack above, baby. I'm looking forward to it. There you go.

I'm very excited. I'm very excited. It's good. Nice.

So, what are we reviewing on the Patreon, sir? I don't know that, Joe Jeff. We discussed this upstairs. We're going to be.

That's your one job for that, Joe. You know, I've been dealing with grumpy old man Mike Palmer all day. I don't know what it is, but he's a little pissy today. He's a little pissy.

We're going to be reviewing The Blackened. Oh, from Drew State. The Corona Blackened. Didn't they get voted Company of the Year by Half Wheel or something?

Who the fuck knows? You guys listen to that sort of thing? I only know when I get the nod. I read Half Wheel because they're not.

Oh, you do? Oh. I mean, they're one of the only, like, they're a legit media source. Right.

Yeah, he asked me if I said anything. I'm like, I can't say stuff to them. That's where I get the story. Who's that?

Boots upstairs asked me, there was something on there. There was something on there. Oh, the Stillwell Star got reviewed. Which we reviewed on the Patreon.

Which we reviewed on the Patreon last week. If you want to know the score, just go on the Patreon. Not close to what they gave me. But anyway, he said, oh, did you say anything?

And I'm like, I can't troll them. Yeah. I can't on Half Wheel, but I can't on their webpage. Not on Half Wheel, I mean on Facebook.

What about on here? On here, yeah. I need a scale. Ready, Phil?

Well, we have a whole other show until you need the scale. I start smoking now. You can weigh mine. I am not going to light it up beforehand.

I like to smoke it fresh on that show. Oh. So you did smoking tobacco last week? I did.

Who did you replace again? I don't know. Oh, you gave me a name. Ram Rodriguez was the guy's name.

Was it from Rodriguez Tobacco? I don't know what he does. I don't know. Buffalo Trays or something.

" Mike's never doing anything, we'll go, Mike. I'm always doing something, but I'm clutch. You're a good guess, because no matter what the topic was going to be, because, I mean, we wholesale, we retail, you got your own brand, you got a podcast, so, I mean, whatever they were going to talk about, you can talk about. So, you know what happened that day?

What? Brittany had an auction meeting. Oh. Right.

Oh, yeah, I forget the day part, because you texted me at, that must have been Wednesday. So? It was, because you texted me Wednesday night, because I was still here. " Is this a real name, Tobacco, his last name Tobacco?

I don't know, I don't think so. That was cool. Yeah, if it is, it's just fucking pretty awesome. Yeah, it would be.

Yeah. Maybe he's like a spy. Maybe he's like a spy from Russia or something. Oh.

" Yeah, well, you know, I don't think they sort of fucked him. Well, I mean, it happens. Things come up. He got stuck in a plane or some shit or whatever.

Matt Booth's helicopter. You know, but you gotta be, listen, shit does happen. Oh, certainly, yeah, yeah. And, I will say this, if shit's gonna happen, you fucking make do, right?

Sure. Hey, I'm gonna be on a plane. No problem. Connect to the Wi-Fi.

Right, yeah, there's ways around it. You can figure it out. Right. Instead of just saying, oh...

Hey, can we shoot a little bit early? I'll be in the, uh, I'll be waiting at the airport. Hey, I'm stuck in between things. I just want you to know, I might be on the plane.

Right. But I'm here. I'm going to do it. I'm going to fucking do it.

I'm going to show up. I've made a commitment to you. Because how? My name is Ram Rodriguez, and I do what I say.

And I get it fucking done. Right. I mean, how cool would the video have been if the guy's on the fucking plane? Well, right.

That would be great. Interesting as shit. Stewardess coming by. Sir, can you be quiet, please?

No. No, no. I'm on smoking tobacco. Do you know who I am?

Do you know who these people are? I am Ram Rodriguez. Ram Rodriguez. I'm Ram Rodriguez.

Mr. Rodriguez's cousin or something. Car Ramrod. So, yeah.

Uh, so he, so Matt reached out and, you know, even though that we had things going on, I had got a sick kid at home at the time. And, um, I hate your setup at the house. It looks so bad. It looks like even with the flag, that looks like you've been been kidnapped by the Polish army.

I have been kidnapped by the Polish army. And I did the joke, but they're like, so I reached on Palmer wants ransom money. Okay. So wait a second.

Right. All right. We got this fancy fucking Mike and Mike productions thing here. Right.

Right. Right. So I'll just get one for Powstanie. I'm sorry, what?

Yeah, we don't know what you're talking about. Can I, you know, I can just, we have the frame, I can just get one with little peas. Oh, you want the light up sign? No, no, no.

Oh, he's talking about the backdrop. Yeah. Oh, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the big white one from Mike and Mike.

Yeah. Just use the Mike and Mike one. Why don't you use that? Because I wasn't talking about Mike and Mike productions.

It's weird to talk about having Mike and Mike productions in the background when you're on somebody else's fucking show. I guess you're right. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. So I can just get a, I don't need another frame. I don't even need one that big. No, you just need the cloth part.

Yeah, you can hang the cloth part up behind you on your, what's already there, sufficiently. Technically, yeah. I mean, I wouldn't mind using the frame, we have the frame. Yeah, but then you gotta pull your couch off the wall.

I mean, that thing is this thick. Yeah, it's pretty thick. So what? You gonna move all your furniture?

It's half the width of your patio. Whatever it takes, brother. It's almost springtime. It's half the width of your patio.

It's not half the width of my patio. Your patio, yeah. Listen. My patty's a little thin.

But if he needs more room on his patio, he can just get another rack above out there. Yeah, we shove another rack above on the patio. Or you could just stuff a little piece in the garage. Now that all the shit's up off the ground.

I have a little studio in my garage where I can sit on my couch now. It's all black behind me, it's got signs hanging on it. If I needed to do one from the house. I love being on the patio where the kids can interrupt me, where the dogs don't give, you know.

Well, they can interrupt you in the garage, too. Yeah, exactly. What about a green screen? You'll have like a "how about that cigar setup" type thing at your house in the garage.

Oh, they do. They're right next to the snowblower. Right, just like that. I don't have a snowblower, though.

I have one. Do you really? Why the fuck do you have a snowblower? Remember I had the Christmas thingy-majini?

I didn't go. I had COVID. Remember the kids were all in the snow? That's not a snowblower.

No, no, no. The thing to remove snow. Oh, yeah, I don't have that. No, he's making snow.

Phil's making snow at his time. I make snow. Yeah. He loves the North so much.

Hey, can you do my camera real quick? Camera one. Can you see the shirt? Do I have to stand up?

You have to move the laptop. We got these. Can you see enough? Yeah.

Stand up. There you go. That's it? That's all you got?

Stand up. We got these lovely shirts sent to us from an avid listener show. CBD Piggy sent these shirts to us. Nice.

Very nice. They're an actual Polish garment company. Lovely. And they come with a bear.

The war bear's on it. Well, you know, he's kind of an icon. In Poland. What is he carrying?

A bomb? He used to carry, you know, from foxhole to foxhole, or bear hold. Well, what he's known notoriously for is carrying ammo when troops are under fire. I mean, you know, he didn't single handedly carry a fucking missile, but, you know, it was more like gun ammo, like, uh, what's it called when it's all like belt ammo?

Yeah, the chain, the chain Rambo. Yeah, right, right. What are those things called? He also drank beer and smoked cigarettes.

Right. We interviewed CBD Piggy on the other show, and he was, he's an avid cigar smoker. He loves the Warbear Cigar. Nice.

That was very nice of him. Thank you very much. And he sent me another bottle of CBD stuff. Oh.

With the package. Any heavy dose and fall asleep? No, but when I had COVID, I messaged him this and didn't say anything about it, but when I had COVID, the only night I slept well, I found that in the refrigerator, and I mean, I was miserable, and I found the refrigerator, and I'm like, oh, here, so I like double dose myself with a little dropper thing. I passed out.

It was the only night I got sleep when I had COVID. Comatose. Yeah, just out. Interesting.

No more Afrin. We're onto the CBD. CBD. Well, it goes in the mouth, not the nose, so.

Oh. The mouth is better than the nose. Write that down. Right, the mouth is better than the nose.

All right. But thank you very much. It was very nice of you. Yeah.

That is very nice. And there's one for you over here, too. A CBD? Excellent.

Yeah, and apparently... No, the CBD never makes it to me. It was just one bottle. He's not going to use it.

I put it in my mouth. It gets stopped before... You know how he is with germs. Oh, you want this?

I'll go, go, go, go, go. Hey, so I got a set of CBDs for both of us, but I smoked them all. I smoked them all. It's, no, it's, it's a liquid.

It's, it's, it's black, and it tastes very earthy, and, but it works. Oh, my God, it's black. But it's not, it's, yeah, I, he sent the grape flavor. Not really grape, I don't know what to tell you.

I told him this on my show too, like, hey, don't taste like grape, I'm very sorry. It works, does not taste like grape. Mmm. John Jurgalette bought some for his wife, I guess he liked it too.

Yogurlite. Yogurlite. Yeah, Yogurlite. God damn it.

I got close enough. He doesn't write so long, he just had to be here in March or April now. So we had Jason Walport reach out to us recently. Want to address that?

Oh, that's right, yesterday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're sponsoring the car again. Well, he's gonna do it for his gratis.

But we didn't do it, Jason, we love you. We didn't sponsor for like, we didn't care. To increase our viewership or something. That wasn't our thought.

We just won our name on a race car. Yeah, we just figured, you know, you're a good guy, you love the show, we love you, we support you. We're on a race car. Oh yeah, we're on a race car.

Out in California, the Cigar Hustler Podcast is on a race car. Wow. What kind of, it's like an Indy, is it the Indy car? Yeah, it's like a little Indy car.

Who else does it? Is Half Wheel on that? No, they're not. No.

Cigar Coop? No, he's in a glass box down at the airport down in Miami. Hey, you'd be nice to Cigar Coop. He's the only one that...

I'm not the one who started that. Who started it? Shirtless, Mike. The other guy we sponsored.

Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh, we're on a body. We're on a race car.

Yeah, we're on somebody's body, for God's sakes. Yeah, exactly. We did football this weekend. It was not good.

Didn't win? No, no. Did you have your hangout session thing? Oh, the cigar club.

Yeah, yeah. The Knights of the Football. The Knights of the Football? Yes.

No, no. We practice on Thursday. Oh, so that's the only night you do it? Yeah.

Smoke and bleachers. Can Phil and I come to your Knights of the Football? Of course. Oh, of course.

What day is that? Thursdays. Thursdays. He's free.

He's free. Boots can't go, but Phil can because Boots has his show Thursday night. It's a struggle, bro. It's a struggle.

You know, it's a struggle boss trying to get these kids doing the right things. Like when you get two new kids and I feel like what sucks is when you start to lose. Yeah? The kids that are good on your team, they start to fall apart on you.

You could tell, like, I feel like I'm losing interest on a couple of them. And I struggle with that. This is the younger group, right? Yeah, I can see if they're not winning, it's not as much fun.

Yeah, it's like, I'm here for fun, was the conversation I had. I'm like, yeah, yeah, but it's fun when you win, right? You gotta do what I ask you to do, right? I'll just kind of do whatever the fuck you want because like I pulled the kid I pulled the kid do whatever the fuck I want there was a pass play interception he could intercepted it but he stopped anyway the other the other team was yeah he waited for the kid to catch the ball so then he could try and pull the flag but what are you doing can you pre-pull it how about you catch the ball no you can't people you gotta catch the ball oh you can't I can't catch it now you know it's like no no then they become two-hand touch oh anybody get aggressive and they go go for the tackle?

Does that randomly happen? Sometimes. Yeah. Sometimes.

Diving for the flag, you miss the flag, you hit the kid in the back of the knee. I got another kid that he got kind of mulled over, he cried a little bit, and then all of a sudden he plays lights fucking out. I mean, he goes nuts. I'm like, somebody's got to run you over at the beginning of the game, is what I need because he, you know, all of a sudden he's boom, he's triggered.

Killing everybody. And I'm just like, yes! So you got to set up the play when he's a certain duck. Do me a favor.

You go to the other teams. Do me a favor. Run him over. Run him over now.

I want the ball going towards him. Run him over. Statue of Liberty play for Tommy. But the other team did some kind of shitty things.

I'm not gonna lie. -Ah, cheaters. -No, no, no. It's just how you kind of...

Dirty pool. No, I wouldn't say that they played dirty. They didn't play dirty. I'm really losing interest in this stuff.

Okay. No, we had a team that did some bad stuff. Oh, they cheated. No, no.

I mean, I'd be having a dirty pool. I mean, if you just shut the fuck up for a second, I'd finish my sentence. It's supposed to be a show where both people talk, Michael. Otherwise, it's just you talking.

People don't tune in just to listen to you. They want me to interrupt. You've gotten a fair share of interrupting at this point. So much to a point where I can't even finish my fucking story.

Please, go ahead. I'm just trying to help, Michael. Go ahead. No, I'll just turn my microphone off.

Alright, good. Perfect. So anyways, Phil. So anyways, this is what happened.

So one kid got a touch. He turned yours down, too? Oh wow. Please.

Please, indulge in your story, don't bother with us. So, the kids, they got a touchdown, and then he started doing a worm in the touchdown, like he started doing the, like on the ground, and like they were kind of shitty. And I would never, even if my kids are crushing the other kids, I would not let them, like rub it in the face of eight or nine year olds, this is not, this is not okay. You know what I mean?

Like dude, I'd tell them, sit the fuck down, that's not how you act. Fuck you You know what I mean Fuck you I didn't interrupt your story I was letting you finish your story I could beat you with your own mic That would have hurt Yeah I'm gonna close your computer How's that sound I'll shut the show off The whole show goes off I'll shut this motherfucker down They can't do a celebratory dance If they score No man That's shitty It happens in the pros A fucking worm dance Well maybe his choice Was it much But they won the roll out there. They were talking shit. They throw the ball down and explode.

They were talking shit, saying you stink before the game and all that other shit. Just trash talking. We beat them before. We didn't beat them this time, though.

Well, then if I was the other team, I'd be going, yeah, we suck, but you suck more. We beat you. We beat you last year, dude. And then they all do.

The whole other team's doing the worm across the field. Get the Alka-Seltzer. The old little Giants trick. Yeah.

Well, they put it in the mouth to make the kid look he's injured. No, no, no. The bubbles. With the rabid dogs.

Then I got in trouble on Saturday. Of course you did. What'd you get in trouble for? I took Justice to Universal.

Just you and him? Would you sneak out? Kind of. There was a lot going on.

Teddy was sick. Jax was working on a project. And I was like... They went, Justice, come on, let's go get it.

I was like, all right, I'm going to take this. What'd you hear the tire squeal? Did you know you were gone? no uh you know it was one of those things where i'm like are you sure are you sure and oh no i took it and ran with it probably should have but we had a great time a great father and son was it busy at all it was a little busy but we spent about three four hours there you know walked around i did enough time for the project to get done and yeah all that was kind of squared away she'd be in bed yeah that whole thing oh so did you go like after the the time where we can Yeah, yeah.

Oh, so it was evening. I got there like four o'clock. Oh, nice. I left around a little shortly after seven, I think.

Anybody want to go this weekend? My wife's out of town. I've been dying to go, but something always happens and we can't go. I got to see what I'm doing, but I'd love to go.

I love going. I feel like something's going on this weekend. Well, Friday night CFQ event here at Cigar Hustler. Yeah, but isn't Saturday the other event?

Yeah, but I don't want to go to that. We're just going because we can get the free cigars. Hey, we can use them for the Patreon. We use it for the Patriot.

Can we have three? We need three of those, please. Can we get three of those? Nah, it's regular stuff.

I mean, it's a Cigar Hustler event in the private lounge that we get free access to, so we're going to go get the things. Chet might even go, too. I don't know what he's doing, but that'll be good for his back. It'll be fantastic.

Let's make it a guy's day at Universal. Guys night at Universal. Hey, so if you come, Mikey, do you get free cigars? Is this how this works?

It's his cigars. I'm just asking. I have dinner plans on Saturday. So after dinner, is dinner early or is it late evening?

Is it that way? We can take you, we can get you home. Dinner's at 5:30. Oh, so you can meet us.

You won't. And then Sunday is... I don't know. Oh, on free Sunday, too.

She's not coming back till Monday. After his illegal universal trip this past weekend, he might be banned. It's with the guys, honey. Palmer's going.

He never goes anywhere. Right. We could say hi to Matt and then go Friday night. She thinks you're gonna be busy working.

Not now. Hey, Matt, where's the ziti? We gotta go. Can we get four to-go's, please, Matt?

Four ziti's to go. I got a church scene with Jack's on Sunday, but... Sunday day? Till, like, one o'clock.

Oh, it's fine. We'll go after four. Maybe Sunday. Okay, so we're back to getting the free cigars, Phil.

Just so you know. There are no free cigars. We get to go to the party next door. for members smoking aces oh yeah when is that Saturday oh yeah you forgot someone's got to put together their little packs yep I have Edka Edka put all these together for your thing that you're paying for right Coop's in town uh oh that's why he was doing down the airport with uh um Terrence What's in town for?

Taren said he looked like a panda at the zoo. I was just closely going, but not a baby giraffe. I didn't know how he felt about that. Oh, who cares?

It was in somebody else's group. I had enough problems with group stuff this weekend. I didn't want to cause problems with somebody else's. Get called out again.

I don't know if I'm going to survive this through the Patreon. It's that good, huh? You're really enjoying it. I love it.

From the guy from, what's the rock and roll guy for this one? Metallica. Metallica, yeah. Big Jagger.

Big Jagger. It was an M. Well, how was your weekend, Palmer? Yeah, Palmer, tell us about you.

We had friends in from out of, Jeff and Becky, which you know. Oh. They were in town. Really?

Yeah, Jeff was here for work, so Becky came in, and we went to dinner with them and stuff Friday. Where'd you go? Ford's. Ford's.

Ford's Garage. Yeah, Ford's Garage. They have a timeshare over in Orlando that they always use, so we went, go over there, They went to dinner. Nice.

Saturday, Jake was here with his new girlfriend. They spent the night Saturday, then left Sunday. Okay. Went out and had lunch with mom, so Jake could see mom.

Okay. She had a good day. It was okay. Nice.

Trying to talk her into a dog. Not that she is a dog, to get her a dog. A small little dog to keep her company. Hmm.

How about a cat? No, we're not cat people. Palmers aren't cat people. How are you going to handle, is she going to handle a dog?

A little tiny dog. She walks all day long, but they just take the little dog with her. Just take the little dog with her. She calls you all the time about the TV remote, bro.

Yeah, but a dog is different. You get like a little Yorkie. Leave her in one of your boxes. You got like eight.

No, no, no. You can't have a box. We could give her a ruckus. He'd love that.

He'd be king of the castle over there. Hey, a loner. It's a loner dog. A loner dog?

Yeah. Test the waters. I don't know. We'll see.

We'll see what happens. She had a dog years ago, and then once it died, she didn't want another one. " You don't even drive anymore. You're always home.

She goes, "Well, I can't bring it up here. " And the waitress goes, "Mrs. " Oh, really? Oh, yeah.

Like, you could sit over there at the bar with your dog. You can do whatever the fuck you want, Mr. Palmer. You can do whatever the fuck you want here, Mrs.

Palmer. Yeah, when I went with her Thursday, there was something she wanted and it came with honey mustard or barbecue sauce, chicken. I think it was chicken fingers. " I'm like, "Half the shit you ordered is not on the menu, Mom.

" Right. Absolutely not. not. They'll give you ranch.

Whatever you want, Mrs. Palmer. Yeah, no shit. Whatever you want, Mrs.

Palmer. You've been here longer than the entire white staff. She lived out there for 18 years. That's a long-ass time.

That's a long-ass time. Before the club was built. The club was there, but they were like the only people. When Dad was alive, they ate there twice a day, every day.

Really? Yeah. It's a pretty nice club. Does she still go out every day there, or no?

No, she goes a couple times a week. We always go on Thursday when I go, unless we're in town nails or hair or medicine or doctor or something. Oh. We eat there.

And then she goes once or twice by herself. Huh. Nice. You can eat all three meals there?

Uh, at one time you could. I mean, like, they have, like, egg salad, so they have eggs. So if she wants an egg sandwich, they'll make her an egg sandwich. Oh, okay.

You know, they have ham and cheese. If she wants a grilled cheese, they'll make her grilled cheese. It's a made-to-ready kitchen. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. It's a menu. You order off the menu. Nice.

Yeah. " Not a problem. That's nice that she has something like that there. I can't eat a whole portion, well then we'll make you half of one.

There you go. Charge you half the price. Right. And they always give her a free dessert when she's by herself.

Ooh, it's like friendlies. Yeah. Yeah, you go to her house, there's like, okay, that one's got cookies, that's got a piece of pie, that one is cake. Mom, you're gonna die of diabetes before anything else.

Wow. Stop eating all the junk. Let her eat whatever the fuck she wants. Oh, I do.

Yeah, there's a point, I mean, come on. Come on, she's in her 80s, she can do whatever the hell she wants. Somebody told her- She wants to start banging the neighbor, you let her bang the neighbor, alright, she wants to bang the pool boy, whatever, the yard, the lawn guy, I don't care, all of them. All of them at the same time?

You know? No, no, we're not running a train on mom, no, no. Listen, man, she's 80, she's reached that point. Listen, her husband's gone, she needs a train, she needs a train, I mean, just let it happen.

Oh, you're a terrible person. What are you talking about? I'm a big- Okay, anyway, I was telling you, somebody told her there's stuff in frozen food that makes you forget stuff. I'm like, that's not why you're forgetting things, mom.

So now she won't eat frozen food. Listen, if my mom wants to get blasted, just let her go get blasted. I don't give a fuck. What difference does it make me?

I don't care. I just don't want to know about it. I don't want to walk in. Well, you're not going, I mean...

Well, she never knows what day of the week. Why, she's scheduled it for Thursday, and I walk in. Pencil it in for the yard guy or some shit? It's really weird, man.

Come on in, I need my hedges trimmed. " And she has no idea who it is. Free for lunch? Yeah, like someone said, yes, I can have lunch with you either one of these two days.

There's a sticky note that somebody else wrote in her calendar. Oh. She has no idea who it is. Maybe she just tells you she doesn't know.

She's asked me three times every time I go over there. Maybe that's the long guy. Is this your wife? I'm like, no.

Adrian's out of town. That's the date Adrian's gone. It's not Adrian coming for lunch. It's the waiter from the club.

Could be. Waitress. There's only women. Oh.

The cooks? Hey, you know. Could be the cook. It's a different era.

Could be. Whatever your mom wants to do. I wish he wants. Ready to do the news?

I am. Bye, ma'am. From the four corners of the world, all the cigar industry news you could possibly need. The Cigar Hustler Podcast Report, with Mike Toon.

Indiana Ortiz launches Casse D Ortiz, announces first line will be called Primavera. Indiana Ortiz, who was known for a time in her family's agro-industrial Nicaraguanese de Tobacco operations, As well as the general manager of Mambacho Cigars has announced that she is launching her own cigar company, Casa De Ortiz. I mean, the house of the Ortiz, right, Michael? Yep.

Sure does. One of the most important things I've learned in tobacco is you have to do things correctly till the last, Ortiz said in a press release. Casa De Ortiz is on the way, is the way, the history of my family and their work can be told and shared. I'm so excited to finally launch and work even closer alongside my family.

I will humbly try to do Condega justice and work to make a household name for the cigar enjoyers everywhere. Indiana Ortiz is the daughter of Omar Ortiz, a noted Nicaraguan cigar maker in his own right. I think he's meant to, I don't know, maybe he's, I don't know, I thought maybe he was at the shop before, but maybe he was. Omar Ortiz?

Yeah. I don't know, we talked about her before when she popped up on. Indiana. Yeah, Indiana.

Yeah. So now she's making her own cigar. Making her own cigar. Yes, yes.

Don Doroteo, Juan, was a tobacco farmer who, in an Instagram post, Ortiz credited as being one of the first people, if not the first, to grow wrapper leaves in Nicaragua's Condega region. Oh. Yes. Lovely.

So, he invented Condega. He invented Condega. First one to grow it. First and first original.

Was the tobacco farmer who, in Instagram post, Ortiz credited as being one of the first, if not the first, to grow wrapper leaves in Nicaragua's Condega region. In a press release, Ortiz said that one of the focuses of her company's company was a tobacco farmer who, in an Instagram post, Ortiz credited as being one of the first, if not the first, to grow wrapper leaves in Nicaragua's Condega region. And a press release Ortiz said that one of the focuses of her company will be to bring Condega to its rightful, deserved popularity as a tobacco from the position of on-pulse market approach that is rooted in classic tobacco processes. Condega's been...

what? Condega's all over the place. Nicaraguan Condega. Yeah.

And from the Condega region. Uh-huh. He was the first one to grow it. Okay, but it's in...

So before then, it was some other type of tobacco, and then he went, no, no, now it is Condega. But Condega is in a lot of cigars. Right, but this is the main tobacco. I don't know, is it a wrapper or filler?

It's a filler, isn't it? Filler or binder? Yeah, you can't use this wrapper. I think she says they're going to.

Yeah, to grow wrapper leaves. Condega wrapper. I don't know about all that. I'm just reading the news story, Michael.

It's a pretty thick leaf. Well, then it won't crack or pop. No, it cracks. Oh.

Hmm. Don't know. I'm just reading the news, Michael. Okay.

Cohiba Siglo de Oro celebrates Year of the Rabbit. Oh, here's another one. Oh, another Year of the Fucking Rabbit. Right.

Hey, why not one more? Why not one more? Hey, you know what we're going to do? Year of the Rabbit.

Done. Okay, great. Everybody's doing a Year of the Rabbit. For the fourth consecutive year, Habanos is celebrating Chinese New Year.

Because they're big and Chinese people. Because they buy all the Cubans. Accompanied Zodiac Calendar with a special cigar. This year, the cigar is a Cohiba.

5x54 Parejo size, known as the Exitos? Exquisitos? Oh, that could be it. Okay.

Exquisitos. A lot of big words in the news, though. Seems like there's not enough letters for that. Exit-O-S-O-S.

Is that... Nope. See, there's something different. Exit-O-S-O-X?

E-X-I-T-O-S-O-S. Exidos-tos? Yes. " Exidos-tos.

With the Cuban naming system. Oh, that's right. Exidos-tos. This appears to be the first time Habanos has used this size for a commercial release.

I guess nobody knows what it is. Exidos-tos. Exidos-tos. Either pricey, nor release date have been announced, so, you know, we'll just move on then.

Yeah, it's gonna be atrociously expensive because it's based off the Hong Kong pricing. Uh, yes, recently he held a launch event with, uh, Hong Kong, the Cuban Cigars Reuter in Mainland, China, and Pacific Cigar Company. The distribution of Cuban Cigars in Hong Kong throughout the middle, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. There's no price listed.

Oh, wait, they're major raising 340,000 cigars. The box not only includes various rabbit graphics throughout, but also includes an NFC. NFC? Yes, it's an NFC.

said NFC. Nobody fucking cares. Maybe there's a typo. NFT?

It says NFC, though. I don't type them. I just cut and paste them. NFC.

The first time the Cuban cigar company has used a technology. I don't know. It's definitely NFT. It's NFT.

Well, it says again, according to Havana, it was the NFC. Maybe it's the Cuban version of the NFT. Oh, maybe non-fungible Cuban. Non-functional Cuban.

Fungible. Fungible. Fungible? Fungible?

Fungible. Fungible means. Well, consumers can not only learn more about cigar, but also to verify the box as authentic. Oh, it sounds like more like a little thing on the box.

Oh. Okay. A hologram. Oh, nice.

Yes. Never been done before. No. Yeah.

Hologram. Nope. 2022 Factory of the Year, Michael. Nikasuenya.

Yeah, no shit. Fabrica De Dabo's Nikasuenya is best known for making cigars for brands like Roma Craft Tobac as well as Powstanie and Fable. Boom. However, the factory would be virtually impossible to recognize if you were to compare current facilities to the factory's humble beginning 10 years ago.

When it was located in the backyard of its assuming home in Esteli, Nicaragua. Since that time, the factory has grown substantially, not just in terms of physical size, but also when it comes to total production. However, even with the increased production, the one thing that has not changed is the attention to quality and detail when it comes to blends and construction. This is clear to see when looking at the actual numbers from our reviews, five of the eight cigars, well, they're reviews, not our reviews.

Right. Let's see if we have a second place with the wind. Proving that it is dedicated to excellence and only partially overshadowed by consistency when it comes to the quality of its products. Boom.

Boom. Perfect. In a quote, Skip Martin said, we don't suck. We don't suck.

You know, it's not a surprise to me. I've been to a bunch of factories in fucking. Yes? I mean, I'm not fucking.

In Nicaragua? Yeah, I'm not a guy that. Did you go to the Candega region, see the Candega rappers? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I go all the time. Flopping in the wind. Yeah, yeah. Oh, look at this.

Fargo's biting all those things. Check out these Condegas. Condegas. So many Condegas.

Indiana Ortiz there with her whip. I have been to some of these factories, and you're just like... Yes. My goodness.

This is fucking bad. This is atrocious. Oh, cause they're little junky factories and stuff. Yeah, there's, I mean, you know, all shapes and sizes.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I got one time get taken to the same factory in China by three different people. All claimed it was theirs.

This is my factory. What? I was here yesterday. Who are they, Rocky Patel?

Oh, shit. One guy go, we're a door factory. I'm like, where? He goes, there's a pile of doors right there.

You didn't make that here. There's no machinery. There's nothing. No, no, a door.

We made a door. This guy right here, his name is Pablo and he makes it. Right. That's not Pablo.

No. But anyway, there's, it's real nice. They have a, I saw nice aprons on them today. Oh, Phil likes the aprons.

Yeah. Very nice. They were nice. It's a Nick Osweño.

It had a little leaf on it. Oh, would you like one? Oh, you know what? Everybody's dressed up for the Pro or Savore, or what is it called, Michael?

What's the thing? Oh, that. The big white party's about to happen. Yeah.

Oh, yeah? We're doing a show here. Hello. If you like to be part of the show.

Pro Savore. We're doing that now. Hello. He saw a picture of the place very clean, and everybody's wearing nice aprons.

I like the aprons. They're lovely aprons. I would love to have them. Are they wearing those every day, or are they all dressed up for the big tours that are coming through?

I would say probably the majority of them were worn all the time. Brand new aprons. Ooh, new ones. They look very nice.

They were nice. Very nice and clean and pressed. Dude, I'm going to tell you right now, that fucking guy, when it comes to Skip, he is extremely meticulous about that factory. Oh, I'm sure he is.

There was a time, I don't know if I've told you this story before, but there was a time when the, uh, it was like the accounting room or like the, there's... Oh, where all the money is counted. No, it's the room to the right where they do the, they finalize the boxes or whatever. Right.

There are two Tupperware boxes and they have lids. One of them's neon fucking green and one of them's neon orange. And Skip was sitting at the main table, like at the front of the factory. And he's like going over things and numbers and stuff like that.

And he's like, I'll tell you right now, those two fucking lids are driving me nuts. Because you can just see them out of the corner of his eyes. It doesn't fit anything in the factory. It makes no fucking sense.

I thought they were purposely like, they keep different things. And I'm like, one's got his cookies, one's got his crackers. No, it's something for the labels or whatever. But you could see through the window, you could see these two fucking lids.

Oh, it's in another room, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, they're driving me fucking nuts. They're driving me fucking nuts.

So much to a point, I took a picture of him, I sent them to him later on, like two or three weeks later, like boop. Just to agitate. There, there, there, there, there, there. We should send him Tupperware that doesn't match to Austin.

Here's some neon lids. Nice factory about your lids. Here's an assortment of lids, you can take these back to the factory. Everything has to be perfect as far as the way that, you know, it has to all match.

Oh, his house was like that. Yeah, that's the type of guy he is, right? So it's the same way at the factory, you know what I mean? He's not going to fucking, he's going to take care of his people.

He's going to make sure that all of it's clean, all of it's legit, all of it's perfect. It's blue shirt Tuesday, everyone. Blue shirt Tuesday. Everyone wear blue.

Well, they had nice shirts, too. Oh, I'm sure they did. Anybody have a leftover Cigar Hustle shirt? He took shirts one time.

I mean, that was a while ago. Well, every once in a while, you'll see in a background somebody has one on. Somebody pops up. They all had like green shirts, and it said like the Nick Sueniana, and then they had the aprons over the shirt.

Nice. That's for the tour. That's very nice. That's for the tour.

I mean, he's meticulous, but I don't think he makes him wear certain things. You will all wear the aprons. Maybe the green lid was go, and maybe the orange lid was no. I don't know.

I can just tell you that it bothers him. Two different labels. It fucking bothers him. He's saying we do not have to tell it's in the box.

And it makes sense. I get it. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah, yeah.

But that's a... I understand that Skip with the details, but that's probably something I could have let slid, you know. Yeah, yeah. It's not a big deal to us.

But that's why we aren't who... That's why he is who he is. He's got a dope factory and then he's got the lids. There's two fucking lids.

Neon. Fucking neon. Who's in charge of the lids? Everything's steel and wood and like slate and fucking clean to a tee.

Right. And you got these two neon fucking lids. They're just driving them fucking up a wall. Probably the Tupperware in general it was.

" Those fucking things would drive me crazy. Can you take care of those, Michael? Go to get those. Get these the fuck out of here.

Should maybe see if they're still there. They're probably gone. I could imagine they lasted, you know, within a couple of days. Right.

First time the Sandinesans come by, he throws them out and blames the Sandinesans. " I want an equal amount of blueberries in every single muffin. Do you know how much time that's going to take? I don't care how much time it's going to take.

It's got to be fucking done. Four. Adrian tried to call. She's driving back from a meeting.

It's fine. Four. All right. We have some Cigar Coop news.

We're stealing from him this week too, Michael. Uh-oh. El Septimo has announced plans to open its third Cigar Lounge. Didn't we talk about that earlier?

We talked about when they opened their second one. Now they're opening the third one. Wow, they're fast. They're going fast.

Hold on. He's doing a different show. Are we opening one right here? Well, that was our plan when they opened the second one.

Apparently, we missed it. El Cetimo right there in the middle. El Cetimo right here in the middle of the lovely table. Yes.

My watch says I got to get him walking around. $7 million. $7 million. It's third cigar lounge.

It's being opened by Scott Miller, and we're located in Tucson, Arizona. We should really call Pete Hernandez because that motherfucker went to Paris on the El Cetimo dime. Oh, is that who took it? That's exactly what it was.

If you want to link me up, I'll call him. Oh, sure. Let's see if he answers. Let's see if he answers.

Let's see if he answers in French. Uh, hello. Oh, it's a oui oui. Hello, this is Pete Hernandez.

And my name is Pete Hernandez. He can make a deal. And he's a supporter of the Patreon, so he deserves to get a call anyways. Right, he's supposed to call him once in a while, anyway.

We make deal. We make deal. Oh, Jesus. Deal with you now.

Connection unsuccessful. It's gone now. It ran away. It's still flashing.

No one else has it. This is the only reason why Phil will smoke a soccer cigar, right? Oh, he's going to be writing high as Pete Hernandez. Oh, with all those numbers that Saka's getting, Pete's probably looking for work.

Come on. All those cigars scored well. Did he score a lot this year? Saka?

Yeah. He's on every single fucking list. Is he? Yes.

I think he has three and a half wheel. But no number ones? No, no number ones. Too much money.

Too much money. Is he right? Never a bride, Steve. Never a bride.

Always a bridesmaid. Just saying. It's like the same three cigars. That's all right.

You can just join me in this lounge over here of not quite good enough. The new Elsa Timo Lounge. Elsa Timo Lounge. I mean, in this new Elsa Timo Lounge.

The Rodecaster has disappeared from my fucking Bluetooth. Oh, you have to press the thingy. Press the thingy. Yeah, press the button.

It's still flashy. It's not, it's in my... All right, cancel. I hit again.

There we go. It's up again. Do, do, do, do, do, do. There it is.

All right, let's see. My wife is driving back from the meeting, if anybody wants to know. She's fine. She's fine.

She's trying to connect. Nice. Good. Trying to connect?

All right. We're on. Okay. Copy.

All right. We got a 50/50 shot of this motherfucker answering. What else is he doing? He's looking for work.

Is he usually the one in the bathroom or is that somebody else? Uh, no. That's, um... Justin Enders?

Justin Enders. He's down in Honduras. He's not answering the phone this week. Oh, Pete did answer the phone in the bathroom one time.

Yeah, yeah. So he better answer fuckin' now. Hello? Bonjour!

Bonjour! Bonjour, Pete Hernandez! You're on the podcast, just letting you know you're on the podcast, okay? Oh, that's great!

So we just covered El Septimo opening up 75 fuckin' lounges, and then I said, you know what, they took, Pete and his brother went to fuckin' Paris on the El Septimo dime, did you not? Yes, we did. I didn't know they took you, that's excellent! And how did that go, sir?

Tell us a little bit about your adventure. Dude, it was amazing. Yeah? It really was amazing.

The French are great. I don't know if they're great, but they were great to me. We went hunting for wild hogs. Damn, French hogs!

Yes, French hogs. On the same fields where Louis XIII hunted. Dude, it was amazing. Really?

The food was amazing. Yeah, everybody should go to France. It was amazing. Did you send an email to all of your other, uh, all the other companies that you handle and say, Hey, I just want you guys to know, I mean, this is going to be the new standard here.

We went to Paris, France, France, Elsa, Timo's, Diamond. I expect if our numbers are high, we anticipate something from you as well next year. So, on Sunday, I'm going to, uh, Camp Paladino in Honduras. Oh, it's not, it's not France, man.

No, it's not. We're going for champagne and escargot. I mean, if you're in the area, I'll bring you to my house, too, bro. It's no big deal.

It truly was amazing, man. It truly was. He's a great guy, and he was so generous, and he took us everywhere. Unfortunately, Steven and I were able to get a car during the day, and we were able to, you know, get up to our own device.

so it was just I can't say enough about it I've got a bunch of pictures when I see you I'm going to show you we went everywhere did you get shit faced retarded and your brother have to reel you in did that happen at all not in French wine not at all I did bring back some French wine it really was cool I'm so glad you guys called me man I feel like I should have called Steve I'll have to get the story right for the times when people act out Like, how bad did Pete lose it at all? I need to know if Pete lost it. Yeah, well, we're not allowed back to France, so... We had a great time.

You can never go again. We've been marked on our backwards. I do have a couple of those stories, and I'll wait till we'll work together. Fair enough.

Yeah. Did you get a $5 million lighter to bring home with you? Yeah. You and your brother?

Parting gifts? No, no lighters. Oh, damn it. We smoked a lot of cigars, drank a lot of wine, drank a lot of champagne, cognac.

We drank cognac, and cognac, champagne, and champagne, and Bordeaux, and Bordeaux, brother. " I'm pretty sure I did, man. I'm pretty sure I did, and it was well worth it. You know what, well, good for you, dude.

Nobody's ever taken Groover on a trip like that. Yeah, 'cause you're number one in the entire world. You know, I wasn't gonna mention it, and I saw Groover at the chili cook-off, that's a couple weeks ago, he didn't say one word, I think he's a hater. Of course.

Oh, sure he is. Of course. " Yeah, yeah. He's like Tom Brady.

He's just not quite getting it anymore. He was good at one point, you know what I mean? It's just, I don't know. Now he's got all Pete's leftovers.

He's got HVC. He's got everything that Pete's turned down now. Yeah, he's really slumming. I mean, you know?

Remember that? Yeah. All the stuff I used to have it on here. Yeah, that's right.

Not doing as well either. Yeah. No. He's doing much better with Pete.

This is a mess, yeah. I mean, look at Saka. Saka's on everybody's list because of Pete. Yeah, Pete's number one.

That's right. Pete's the best, number one in the entire United States, without question. He's not just one of the reps anymore. No, you're the, the, the, the motherfucking rep, that's right.

The French, Pete Fernandez. Oui, oui. Oui, oui. I mean, when you answer, when you answer the phone, what, is he in a drive-thru?

What's he doing? No, dude, I'm trying to rent a car. When you answer, when you answer the phone, when you answer the phone, bonjour, you know what I mean? Like, it's just been going all right.

That's perfect. Hey, I'll meet you at the room. All right? All right.

Motherfucker's walking around in a three-piece suit now, at this point, you know? You saw that, huh? With a papillon? And a beret.

He's got a pinky ring and everything. Oh, El Cetimo pinky ring? I got a pinky ring. That's right.

See? Told you. Dude, it was an amazing trip. Fuck.

I can't believe... " We've condomended this. Can you believe this? I can't believe we took it.

We got them. We're never selling cigars again. We're not coming home. That's it, we're French now.

We almost didn't. We were supposed to come back on Monday, and Steven got sick, and we, and then so we, I'm about to get to him, let me not go in the elevator, I don't want to have this. And so we were supposed to fly the Wednesday after, and that's when that thing happened, and there were no flights coming into the United States. Oh shit.

Oh shit. Yeah. Because of the computer problems. We had to pay one more day.

Oh man, I feel so bad for you. It was rough, yeah. More escargot, more oysters, more smoked salmon, more beef bar guignon. Oh my god, it was rich.

I don't know what any of that shit is. It sounds like fun. But yeah, man, it was a good time. And I got to thank, you know, some people, and Zaya and his wife, they were so kind.

And hotels were amazing, you know, you know, that guy owns more capitals in Europe than royalty. Right, right. Yeah. And he's, and he's opened up Cigar Hustles, I told you, Cigar Hustles podcast will take care of the sponsorship, it's like $5 million, that's all, that's all I ask, that's all?

That's all? Yeah, that's it, yeah, something reasonable. I think I know a guy. Yeah, there you go.

I think I can broker that. There you go. Perfect. Different color Ferraris for every day.

Yellow one, I got the red one, here's the blue one. Blue one. And, you know, I'm partial to purple. I don't know if you noticed the tie in one of those pictures.

I think purple's my color. Purple's your… Oh, that's the royal's color. Purple's royalty. I didn't even know that.

See that? You could feel it, though. You could probably feel it. You knew you were drawn to the purple.

Prince Pete. Dude, I felt regal. I felt regal. I'm not going to lie to you.

Yeah, I felt regal. Yeah, it was… Good to hear from you guys, man. Happy New Year. Happy New Year, man.

You deserved it. I'm glad you had a good time. We will let you get in the elevator now. I appreciate you always answering the call whenever the fuck I call.

Bathroom, rental car, he always answers the phone. You are the man, sir. That's it. Hey, wish your wife a happy birthday for me.

Thank you. Absolutely. Take care, guys. Good talking.

Bye-bye. Thanks for the call. Later. Pete Hernandez, everybody.

Wait, what just went off? Who knows? Listen. Pete is here!

He's now arrived. That's how he enters the elevator. Some guy comes out with the big long horn with the Pete flag hanging from it now. I almost turned it off, like, okay, we're done.

We're done. That's why I like that guy, man. He's fucking awesome. He really is.

A great conversation. He's a fucking good dude. He's fun to get on the phone. He's a good dude.

I really love him when he gets hammered at the fucking... You know what, that's the one thing I'm looking forward to, TPE. It's like, man, I just want... No PCA, no TPE.

No, both. Oh, okay. But no, but TPE, like, you know... Did you guys ever get your thing worked out?

No, I haven't done that yet. Okay. My computer fucking blew up, man. Did you get the new computer?

computer no not yet new computer isn't here you did break to your brother you bought it though i let him know yeah just so you know phil with the last year when we went no hotel reservation until we got there and then he panicked to find one when was that for what tpe last year tpe oh was it are you sure it wasn't pca no no it was tpe maybe when last year maybe the year before don't worry bro you know i mean we're men i'm not worried we're fucking men we will figure this out We've been in this situation before, I'm not worried. Give me a break, but this is the hotel with the glass wall in the bathroom. Hey, let me tell you something, how'd it work out in Buffalo? It worked out.

Four different hotels! Actually, we got it cheaper than any hotel I think we've been in. Everything was fucking booked. And I would have booked a hotel at that time, but the way that it played out, I thought we were good.

Right, right. No, we weren't. We just weren't, it just wasn't. I'm not saying you won't get it done, I'm just saying this is what happened last time.

I fucking deliver. Ask Matthew Tobacco, do I deliver? I fucking deliver. Every time.

Man, I want to know if that's his last name. Bam. Call them. Call them.

Time after time. Nah, we don't. All right. C.

Newman Cigar Company is planning to open a tobacco farm now in Ybor City. Oh, Condega? No, no, it's only in the Condega region. C.

C. Newman has acquired It's acquired and it's renovating into a hotel. C. Newman Building.

10,000 square feet? Yes. That's cool. Yeah.

That's just a little thing. It's not whatever, it's just like a little toy. You ain't cranking a ton out of it or whatever, but I'm for this. Where is it at?

Tampa? In Ibor, in Cigar City. Look, it ain't gonna be the best tobacco on the planet. No.

" I mean, you could sell it that way. I mean, that's how Fuente sold Le Opus X. The wine bottles and the beer cans out of it, it'll be fine. Yeah, you know what I mean?

You move the roosters and the other shit out of the way. You think he's gonna have aprons? Well, not a fact. They probably don't have aprons.

I've been through the building, I don't think the rollers are where aprons are. No aprons. No, no aprons. No baristas.

But now, what's his name? Not the only guy that grows tobacco in the state of Florida. Yeah. Which is more important.

The he we know speak of. Right. Yes. C.

Newman Cigar Company goals to redevelop the north end of Ybor City where its factory is located. This started with the renovation of the El Royal Factory. Someone's going to move in the center of a tent. Oh, sir, you got to find a factory up for tourists to continue with the restoration of the Sanchez property.

I like to stay in the hotel. Sir, you need to move along. They're going to open a hotel? C.

Newman. They're turning it into a hotel and a restaurant. We did that story several, several months ago. Oh, I don't listen to you when you talk.

I know you don't. No, I understand that. So much information. Let's see.

Fort Myers, Florida. Florida story. We're almost done here. Authorities are asking the public to help identify the man who broke into Joe's Crab Shack, stole items, and then pooped on the floor before leaving.

Fucking legend. Are you kidding me? There's video footage of this man. He shit on the floor.

Yes. m. Saturday. A surveillance camera caught him climbing through the small window.

He then stole multiple items before defecating on the floor prior to leaving the sea. Can you imagine being the guy that walked in the next day? Right. Broken window, all the crabs gone.

Like, someone stole all our crabs. Someone stole all the crabs. Like, this guy shit. What the hell did I just step on?

This guy shit on the floor. He's a real criminal. Criminals always have to leave their mark. Oh, now he's called the crab pooper.

He's a crab pooper. Just like the home-along guys. What are they called? The wet bandits.

The wet bandits. He's the floor shitter is what he is. He's the crab pooper. He's a crab pooper.

That's his thing. Crab pooper. You know, crab upsets my stomach. Maybe he ate so much and then he just- Yeah.

You know what? Does it say why he did it? Well, they haven't caught him. They haven't caught him.

I bet you he booked a rezo. He's pissed. Yeah, yeah. He wasn't happy.

He didn't get in right. Yes. I'm fucking singing. My food's getting cold in the kitchen.

The conference shit didn't go his way, so he went ahead and shit on the floor. Better customer service. It gets better. The man was first seen when he came in through the window wearing a white shirt, but when he was seen leaving, he was wearing a Joe's Crab Shack shirt and hat.

And bib. Maybe he wiped his ass with the white shirt. Oh my goodness. If you can identify the man, please contact Fort Myers Police or Southwood, Florida Crime Stoppers at 1-800-780-8477.

If we travel close to Fort Myers, we have to go there. And I'll be like, I just want to know, is this the place where the guy shit on the floor? Can you show me where the guy shit? I'd like to see that.

We're private investigators. Did you keep the shit? Would you like to do a DNA study, please? We need a sample of the shit.

This is a cold case area here. What do you mean? You don't have the shit? Where's the shit?

You didn't keep it? It's not in the freezer? I do an appetizer special, the shit special or some shit like that. You know, it's fucking...

Make it famous? Yeah. A dip called the crab poop? The crab poop.

You just put food coloring in the regular crab poop, and now it's brown. Perfect. All right, well, you got a shop in a week? I do.

Hold on, we had to change some buttons here. Uh-oh. Oh my goodness. Okay, ready?

Who's Listener of the Week, Michael? Listener of the Week is Julian Gordon. Julian Gordon! My guy.

Do you do at least two? There you go. Julian Gordon, your Listener of the Week. Uh huh.

Not really related to Mark Gordon. Not really related to Mark Gordon. They claim to be. His last name's Gordon?

Yeah. Wow, that's crazy. Same mother, different fathers. Yep.

Same mother. Wait. Same father, different mothers. No.

Same mother, different fathers. It could be the same mother, Mark. You could be the same mother, they both married her. I don't get it.

Or they both didn't marry her, her name was Gordon Starway, she kept her name. Oh, gotcha. No relation. No relation.

Gotcha. So they're both bastards, is what you're saying? Yes. Like on Game of Thrones.

That's not nice. I don't know, he became king, how is that not nice? " No, he killed the queen, he killed the other queen. He killed the queen, then packed his shit to go guard the wall with the people that are already gone.

Oh, well. Yeah. The little guy's now the hand of the king, though, he was a bastard. He's a bastard.

The little guy? He's the king. No, no, the guy in the wheelchair is the king. Oh, yeah.

The little guy is the hand of the new king. Well, they're both little guys as far as I'm concerned. Ran the Broken is what you're talking about? Yeah, Ran the Broken.

Ran the Broken. What a name. It's like, what's his name from the Vikings? Kirk Cousins?

No. TJ Hawkinson? The guy with no legs. Hey, let's throw a three-yard pass with the game on the line.

Crawling around on his belly. Did you? First of all, did you see the last play of the Cowboys fucking? I couldn't because JJ was in front of the TV screaming.

Dude, first of all, I don't know, you know, this is, yeah, I'll be real quick about this. You can still have to do Shepard. They put Zeke, Zeke Elliott, at center. Yeah.

Like a pitch. He got speared, bro. Yeah. Dude, you put a 220 pound person up against a 350 pound person, you're gonna get fucking leveled.

Yeah, not to mention that you throw the ball up high. Well, he's not, he's not, he's not a snap count. And then I don't know what the logic was with that throw. That's what I'm talking about the throw.

He threw it high. So he left the wide receiver out to dry. To get fuckin' telted? To get fuckin' telted?

Yeah. But did you see Zeke get leveled? Yes. Oh my goodness.

No, no. Well, we'll stop talking about sports. Yeah, yeah. But I'm gonna continue to harass JJ throughout the entire week.

It was nice. See, this is what happens. Like... His phone blew up, by the way.

You don't wanna fuck with me. You know what I mean? I'm happy to just go through life without the conflict, but if you're gonna press, I'm gonna make you fuckin' regret it. Right.

Right? Right. Yeah. I'm gonna send shit to his ass.

Fucking glitter bomb. If you have that video that you keep posting of him, we can change him to singing something else. There it is. We can change it.

Yeah? I can just put it through the machine, Harry. You should just do a voiceover. Yeah, we just do voiceovers.

Is there a fucking... Oh, we're horrible. I'm sorry. Oh, they lost.

I'm gonna keep dancing anyway. Is there a... I'm black. Nobody can say anything to me.

Oh. Is there a 49ers? Is there a 49ers song? There's gotta be a 49ers.

I'm sure. He's in there, I think I've seen one. We'll put that in the background next. " Brock Purdy's my favorite quarterback.

He's the best quarterback ever. He's way better than Dak. He just started. We have a quote from the man at the...

He's officially won the same amount of playoff games as Dak and Tony Romo. The Krabby Bills. I did poop! He did poop.

He had diarrhea. It was actually pee. It was very flowy. Shop of the Week.

Shop of the Week. Shop of the Week. You have to say it. Mom's Cigars.

Mom's Cigars in New York City. Yep. No, not New York City. Scarsdale.

Scarsdale, Arizona. Nope, New York. Scarsdale, New York. That's Scottsdale?

I don't know. Scottsdale. I don't know. I thought it was in New York.

It is in New York. Not in the city, though. No, no. Oh, in the suburbs.

Yeah. Oh, on the island. On the island. No, not the island.

You remember Scottsdale? Scottsdale was in Arizona. That's where Elsa Dima was. That's where Pauly Shoreshaw and the Army now.

Oh, that's nice to know. Interesting fact. Interesting factoid. All right.

All right. This has been episode 265 of the Cigar Hustler Podcast. Say goodbye, Michael. Goodbye.

And thank you for listening and supporting us. Phil, you want to say goodbye? I say you put your mask back on. Goodbye.

And don't forget to support us on our Patreon. We appreciate you. Well, today we're doing The Blackened. The Blackened.

The Cigar Hustlers podcast, its owners and its sponsors take no responsibility for the opinions or statements made by the talk show host or their guest. Statements or show topics are not necessarily the beliefs of Mike and Mike Productions or the podcast providers and opinions between talk show hosts may differ. It is not our intention to libel, incite, or hurt anyone's feelings. We invite you to write the show's host, Mike Szczepankewicz, with any feedback or suggestions that you have for their shows.

These broadcasts are presented and made public as entertainment in the hope that they will be entertaining to the audience. This has been a Cigar Hustlers podcast, a Mike and Mike production. m. for all new episodes.

Hi, I'm doing, I'm Husto Eroa. Yeah, we just don't have to do a single, uh, single podcast ever again. Perfect. I'm good, Mike and Mike.

How are you guys doing? The Hojo Deeb. Hojo! It's the Hojo!

You didn't even let him fuck it up all the way. I could get past Hojo! I don't even have to try it. We're gonna, we're gonna cover a lot of ground here, Mike.

All right. Try to keep up. That's a sign of a good podcast, right? I had four cigars when I walked in the door.

All right, end this.

Show Notes

Pete Hernandez Floridas best rep calls in with the Big news About El Septimo!  I didn't poop I peed finally makes sense and we are not going to be Blackened on the Patreon!