Cigar Hustlers Podcast Episode 240 Urine Trouble

Episode Summary

Episode 240 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast opens with Mike Palmer and Mike Toon catching up after a two-week break — the end of Mike's "summer slump," a DIY dog haircut gone sideways for El Chapo, and a long saga about hunting down a Rogue Echo assault bike on Facebook Marketplace that turns into a rant about people who won't honor a handshake deal (with a nod to Erik Espinosa as an example of someone who always sticks to his word). There's also a gripe about a malfunctioning S.T. Dupont lighter and its clicking issue.

The news segment leads with the big industry story: the founders of PuroTrader.com, Pierre Rogers and Joshua Levitt, indicted on bank fraud, wire fraud and money laundering charges tied to roughly $5 million in fraudulent PPP and SBA disaster loans — including money allegedly wired to buy a 2011 Rolls-Royce Ghost. The guys break down the counts, the plea agreement and what it means for the online cigar auction platform.

Other news covered: Maya Selva Cigars adding a 7x38 Lancero to the all-Nicaraguan Cumpay line (and repeated, affectionate mangling of the name "Cumpay"); El Septimo's follow-up to its $5.5 million lighters with a more "affordable" collection of lighters ($1,500 and up) and pens ($200–$750) from the Emperor and Sacred Arts collections; the return of the Tatuaje Tobacco Plaza Double D, a 6x58 Gran Bellicoso with a Connecticut Broadleaf wrapper, for Tobacco Plaza's 50th anniversary at $20 per cigar; Davidoff and Scandinavian Tobacco Group skipping InterTabac 2022 in Dortmund; and Habanos S.A.'s Cohiba 55th anniversary celebration in Cuba.

The back half goes off the rails with Florida and national oddball stories — a Pennsylvania teen who used a trampoline to rescue neighbors from an apartment fire, and an Oviedo teen bitten in the face by a nurse shark during lobster mini-season — plus a tutorial on the Stingray Shuffle. Listener of the Week is Bear Duplice, and Shop of the Week is Nickel City Cigars, where the crew will appear August 20 for Tommy Pharrell's three-year anniversary event.

In This Episode

1. 01
   Catch-Up After the Break
   The hosts return from a two-week hiatus with birthday/anniversary shoutouts, school-schedule gripes and the end of Mike's summer slump.
2. 02
   El Chapo's Haircut and Vet Visit
   Mike recounts giving his dog a three-day DIY clipper job and the mystery squinting that landed him at the vet.
3. 03
   The Assault Bike Hunt
   A Facebook Marketplace deal for a Rogue Echo bike falls apart over $50, sparking a rant about honoring your word in business.
4. 04
   PuroTrader Founders Charged With PPP Fraud
   Pierre Rogers and Joshua Levitt indicted over roughly $5 million in fraudulent pandemic loans, with money allegedly spent on a 2011 Rolls-Royce Ghost.
5. 05
   Maya Selva Cumpay Lancero
   A 7x38 all-Nicaraguan Lancero joins the Cumpay line, with Jalapa wrapper and binder and notes of espresso, hazelnut and leather.
6. 06
   El Septimo's New Lighters and Pens
   After $5.5 million lighters, the brand announces Emperor and Sacred Arts lighters from $1,500 and pens from $200 to $750, shipping in December.
7. 07
   Tatuaje Tobacco Plaza Double D Returns
   Pete Johnson brings back the 6x58 Connecticut Broadleaf Gran Bellicoso for Tobacco Plaza's 50th anniversary — 500 boxes at $20 a cigar.
8. 08
   Davidoff and STG Skip InterTabac 2022
   Two of Europe's biggest cigar companies pull out of the Dortmund trade show, signaling a shift in trade-show strategy.
9. 09
   Florida and National Stories
   A teen uses a trampoline to rescue neighbors from a fire, an Oviedo teen is bitten in the face by a nurse shark, and the Stingray Shuffle is explained.
10. 10
    Listener and Shop of the Week
    Bear Duplice takes Listener of the Week and Nickel City Cigars is Shop of the Week ahead of its August 20 three-year anniversary event.

Brands & Cigars Discussed

Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.

Transcript

Welcome to episode 240 of a Cigar Hustler Podcast, you too! Wait a minute, Mike. Don't get excited. I know we haven't done this in two weeks, but you get a little bit excited.

You too can be part of our podcast family and invest in our show or any of the shows on the Hustler Universe Podcast Network. Put your products in front of thousands of listeners every week on 13 different podcast providers all around the world. com. dot com for pricing and more information and please remember to rate review and subscribe and whichever provider you use you don't want to say you want to say hit the bell like chet says hit the bell there's a bell on instagram if you hit the bell you get notified about every time we put up a thing hit the bell hit the bell for the love of god hit the bell nice job subscribe we're so close to a thousand hit this on youtube come on let's go we're so close let's go so close oh and we'd also like to wish david and amanda morris they both had birthdays last week and it is their anniversary too Oh, happy anniversary.

Happy anniversary. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy anniversary.

Excellent. So, they were just here. They just visited. They were, yes.

Before and after the cruise. Yes. So, apparently, if you have a cruise, you have to schedule two visits to Hustler. One at the beginning and then one when you get back.

Yes. And we're not required to be at both. No. Those are the rules.

Just one or the other. I can't, you can't, yeah. Yeah, one or the other. I'm not a weekend guy anymore.

I'm an old man. I'm a family man. You're the only man. You're very busy.

I have no beverage. I just noticed. That's okay. So, I didn't do anything special over the weekend.

I worked in the yard because the wife was gone. I was up here most of the time working. Oh. So.

I'm sorry to hear that. Making you money. The summer slump is officially over. The summer slump is over.

We have dealt with a somber Mike Palmer for the past three months. He's been in a shit mood. Isn't that safe to say, Phil? It happens every summer, Mike.

This is true. My time is not mine in the summer. Yes. They work around her schedule and her events and her needs and whatever else it is.

It's just grumpy as fuck. I mean, it's very hard. I get pressure here. I get pressure at home.

It's impossible. It's hard to weigh them again. If I'm here, she complains. If I'm there, they complain.

It's just... And then eventually, it gets to a point where he's free again. Right. And then it...

Teachers come back today and students come back next week. So, we're back on the school schedule. Well, we've missed you. Hey, can you pause it real quick?

We'll get this going in one second. Okay, perfect. All right, we're back. Yeah, okay, yeah.

Okay, so something's wrong with Chapo? My friend Chapo? Yeah, man. What's wrong with Chapo?

It's weird. He's having, like, this issue where he doesn't want to open his eyes in the light. Any sunglasses? So, maybe.

So he'll walk in his... Wait, how can you see his eyes? Because he does like this. Oh.

It's weird, like Undertaker. Can we do it at the camera? Camera? Can we do it at the camera?

Can we do it at the camera? Hi, welcome back. Welcome. Welcome.

Hello, camera. What's in the people? Well, I figured you'd be done with that already. He goes like this, waiting, it's coming.

Three, there it is. Camera three. Oh, wow. Yeah.

I think we're going to move that camera over some. It's too far away. It is. He is currently at the vet.

And yeah, we're going to wait and see what's going on. No word though, huh? I honestly think that what happened, and I could be wrong, because my wife likes to remind me all the time that I'm not a doctor or a vet. But tell me what you want And I'll tell her And then she'll believe you Can you switch back to two boots I think that the two dogs First of all I went ahead And I gave El Chapo a haircut Because I'm an idiot And I was like fuck this I can just do this You know This was like a week or two ago So I give the dog I buy the Amazon, I go on Amazon, they're like 60 bucks for Clippers, I'm like, it's a hundred and change to cut the dog's hair, I'm already ahead, and then this dog- Right, two cuts and you're even.

Well, one cut and I'm in- Well, you said a hundred and something, so- Well, one cut, I've already saved 40 bucks, right? You said it was 60. Well, things cost me 60, it's normally a hundred to get the dog's hair cut. Oh, oh, a hundred, I thought you said a hundred and something.

So, all right, so, okay. So I'm like, fuck it, I'm gonna do this. Right. And, Brittany, let me do it.

Right. I was okayed. well hesitant I'm sure I'll get yelled at for that too maybe I wasn't allowed I don't know but I did it this took several days this is like a three day process of cutting this fucking dog he had a lot of knots so after day one he looked like a Clydesdale with alopecia it was so bad he wouldn't let me get his legs and you know there were certain areas where I got a little too Too close, right? So there's some rough patches.

Oh. Ah, yeah. You didn't put like a guide on there or something? Yeah, the problem is with some of the knots.

Right, you had to get close to get that out. So yeah, so there could be a little bear patch where the knot was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

Oh yeah, poor guy. Okay, so my dog doesn't look the best right now with a haircut, you know? " So, but I'll tell you what happened. what happened stat get the doctor okay so morale though for this dog morale through the roof all of a sudden he had no hair you know it was like he he lost he lost like 40 pounds like running around naked so he's going nuts with bubbles the shepherd right now the shepherd is fucking strong right i to a point where like he fucking plays with me since i'm like bro you know fucking i had to jam him back like stop you need to relax so they've been they're they're horsing around The amount has increased.

Okay. And I'm guessing that something had happened with them fucking around, and he's got like a concussion or something. Oh. And he's, you know, the light is affecting him.

It could be the, I mean, now that you've cut his hair, you can see his eyes. So, I mean, you don't know how long he's been squinting. No, no, this guy is, I've never seen him walk into a wall. Oh, he walks into things.

This is a new thing, yeah. Oh. This is a new thing. Maybe the hair kept the glare and stuff out of his eyes.

There's something wrong with the dog. Well, it could be. I'm going to tell you. Other dogs, like my mother had a dog that had a lot of hair in the face, and they said don't cut the hair out of the face, because it's like sunglasses.

Inside? Yeah. I'll give them sunglasses. I'll give them sunglasses.

I'll just lay down the hair to grow back. You gotta look fresh. Get in front of those basketball ones with the straps. Yeah, exactly.

So they don't come on. He's got a big head, that should work. It'll look like fucking Chronicles of Riddick or some shit. Oh, it'll look like Riddick.

Yeah, I'll strap him down with some fucking, get him some equipment on the paws and shit. That'll be nice. Yeah, that'll be nice. Get him two blades.

Next time Bubbles comes at him, he's like, ta-ta! If you want it, you kill. What you kill, you keep. Yeah, what you kill, you keep.

You keep what you kill. Right. It'll be amazing. How is that?

Oh, it's sitting on the back. How is that cord dangling, like sitting with the white cord over there? It looks like it's just hovering. I don't know.

See the white charging cable? Yes. Is it sitting on something? Yeah, it's angled well.

Oh. I mean, it looks like it's... Freaky. Yeah.

So, I have this new quest. Yes. You were asking me about, I did a Facebook post. Right, yeah, yeah.

So, you know that I have these things, I get into these things, and I like to do these things. Right. Hotbox, Cold Plunge, all this shit. Right, yeah.

So, what are you into now? So, I started using this thing called an Assault Bike. Okay, right, yeah, I remember. I think you mentioned it.

We haven't done a show in several weeks, but I think you mentioned it when Skip was here, actually. Because he had to describe to him what it was. Really? Yeah.

So an assault bike is like a gigantic, it's like a fan on this bike, and then you move it with your arms and your legs. Oh, is that what it's called, an assault bike? Yeah. I've seen the one where you do this, and it makes, yeah, okay, I know exactly what it is.

So it's fucking brutal. Okay. Right. And, like, people will, people that I respect would tell me that this thing sucks.

Right. Right. So, of course, I'm running towards it. I'm like, I need to fucking, I need to do the thing that sucks.

I need a new thing. Give me the thing that sucks. Right. So I've been doing them every once.

Well, the only ones that we have at my gym, they're in the back of the training section, so you have to have a trainer with you to have access to them. Oh, weird. Yeah. Is it dangerous?

I have no idea. I don't know. Maybe. Who knows?

Maybe. So, you know, I use them when I have a trainer come by or whatever. And I do like these five minute interval things. Right.

10 seconds of aggressive, 20 seconds of rest. And I'm going to tell you right now, it's pretty fucking intense. Right? It's my cocaine.

Oh, that sounds much better. Okay, I need one for the house. I need one for the house. Why can't you use the one at the gym?

Because I told you I got to have a trainer there all the time. All right. It's difficult. So wait, okay, just so I'm following.

There's a bike that you want to ride that is so dangerous, it needs a trainer to watch you while you're on it. That's a legend. I don't think that... " Correct.

Correct. Okay. All right, so I go and look for one. And they're like, the one that I want, the Rogue one, is like 850 bucks brand new.

Oh, yeah. So I found one on Marketplace, Facebook Marketplace. For $50? No, the guy was asking like $800, I was like, will you take $650, and he's like, I'll take $750, and I was like, I don't feel like I'm quite there.

Right, I'm not that committed. This isn't that brand, like your bike isn't brand new. Right. I'm saving $100, like I'll fucking...

Right, I'll keep looking. I'm kind of, yeah, I'm at $650, let me know if you change your mind. And he kind of got fucking uppity with me and stuff, I'm like, all right, cool, whatever. So then there was another one, and they were asking $700 for it.

Right. I think it was 700, or something like that, and I said, give me some details about the bike, this one's a little more worn, this one's a little older, it's like four or five years old, right, let me take 500 bucks for it, sure, no problem, oh, I'm like, okay, cool, I'll coordinate with Phil, right, and we will be out tomorrow, they say, hey, tomorrow doesn't work, can you come out Sunday, sure, whatever you want, I'll be out Sunday, she's, I was in contact with this woman, she said, hey, contact my husband. So I text her husband and said, Hey, I'm so-and-so. I was in contact with your wife and I'm going to come in to pick up the bike tomorrow.

What time is best for you? He texts me back like an hour later. Hey, we had another offer at five 50 and we're taking that. I'm like, Oh, okay.

So like that is the fucking, it's super shitty. Right? Like I would have already had the bike that day if it wasn't inconvenient for you. And like we had a fucking deal.

Right. You, I offer you terms, you accept terms, transaction, I go complete transaction, transaction's over. Did the guy say 500 is okay too? Yeah, they were on the same page.

They were good to go. All right. Okay. So, so I'm pissed now.

Right. I'm, I'm not pissed about the fact that I don't have the bike. Right. I don't give a fuck about the bike.

I have the, I'm upset about the fact that this person can't hold their word over 50 fucking bucks. Gotcha. Like you had to get up on the extra 50. Right, right, like that makes you a shitty person in my eyes, like do the right fucking thing, right, if you agree to something, hey, this is what I agreed to, whatever, you know, I mean, perfect example, Eric Espinosa would tell you, hey, this is the price that I gave him, even when we did a transaction with the fucking bangerings, this is the price I gave, shit came in a little higher than I thought it was gonna be, right, I'm still gonna stick by the right fucking price, right, and even if he said, hey, you know, this is a little more fucked up, I'm really sorry about this, I'd be like, like, no problem, man.

I understand. Right. I appreciate your honesty, whatever. But he's not trying to get over on me.

Right. You know, he's not saying, well, this guy said they'll pay more. So I'm like, okay, cool. Whatever.

So the guy texts me on Sunday. Hey, the guy's flaked out. Are you still interested? Oh no.

So what did I say? No, no. I said for four 50, I am right. Fuck you.

Cause I knew he was going to say no. Right. He's like, uh, no thanks i'm like cool but it's all right for you to swing 50 on me but if i try and swing 50 on you you're fucking pissed off right interesting very fucking interesting so that was my facebook post oh i got you all right you know what i mean like right just be a fucking decent person i don't like honor what the fuck you say you yeah yeah it brings me back to the whole shepherd thing like What the fuck? I just don't get it.

Half the fucking time, these fucking people are just so fucking lost. And they wonder why they should go get a Born to Lose tattooed on their chest. It's fucking obnoxious. Wouldn't that upset you?

Yeah, it would have. If we had a deal. But I would have just flat out told him no. When he called back.

No, I'm here to teach the lessons. I'm borderline saying yes, not showing up, 'cause fuck you. Oh, I might have done that, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what's the address?

I'm on my way. Right. I'm almost there. I'm going around the corner.

I can see your house from here. Ah, no, fuck, I don't want it. Oh, man, this SC DuPont's fucking broken. It's driving me nuts.

Is it broken or out of gas? They said they're gonna send me, no, it's got gas. He said he's sending me a return label or whatever. Oh, you gotta send it back and get it fixed?

I guess. Phil's got that one with no paint on it. They won't honor the fucking. They don't cover paint.

I had the clicky issue too. You had the clicky issue too? Clicky issue. Can we send ours back together?

Yeah. Sure. See what happens. Double clicky issue.

So that was my fun and exciting. That was your fun weekend. I'll tell you what though. It did feel good for them to text me back and say, Hey, he flaked out.

I'm like, you dumb fuck. We would have been done by now. Right. You already had my money.

Yeah. I would have paid. I'd be riding my bike. I'd be fucking, my wife would be pissed off, there's another thing in the house.

Now, what happened to the rowing machine? I sold that. Right. That's gone.

2 during that? Yeah, that's gone. That's gone. So you bought that and sold that too.

Okay, but that was stuff that I used during COVID. Right. I know when you bought it. You know, like I have a gym for all those things.

Right. Right. Well, you have a gym for the bike too. If I had access to the bike on the regular.

But like, I want to really do something in the evenings for like 15 minutes or 10 minutes just It's fuckin' for cardiovascular work. You just get a regular bike. No man, I wanna, I'm a big believer in like if you just go out and crush, I think that that is more beneficial for cardiovascular activity than like the long term, I can't fuckin' sit, like I lose my mind sitting on Stairmaster for 30 minutes or whatever. Right.

So you just run on the Stairmaster. I would much rather. Uh oh. Uh oh.

How did my phone get connected? It probably connects automatically. Probably. We're good, I don't have to answer.

Wow, it's just your son? Yeah, but it can't be that... You probably want something. Yeah, or something.

Let me disconnect this so it doesn't happen again. Kids these days. Kids these days. Yeah, so, I mean, who knows?

Hopefully I'll get the fucking... I'll get the assault bike in the area where I have access to it on the regular. So if anyone has an assault bike... You can't just have an assault bike.

Oh, you gotta be... I want the Rogue Echo bike. Oh, a particular one. Yeah.

What about the Peloton? The peloton's a cycle bike. That's like a leggy thing. This is a whole body crush thing.

It's like if you went and you fucking sprinted and sprinted and sprinted for 10 whole seconds and you rested for 20 seconds and then did it again, it's the same concept as that. Is it the one you stand on where your legs do, they're not really on bike pedals, but yeah, yeah, like he's doing. No. No, your legs are on bike pedals.

So you pedal. So, but it's like that thing though, except you're sitting down and you do. Yeah. Okay.

It's pretty amazing. I've seen it. It's vigorous. Yeah.

Oh, the other one is too. And I'm going to tell you right now, like right now, so I pelted it for five minutes after my workout. Yeah. Dude, I feel good.

Like, like blood is pumping. Why don't you just talk to the trainer and go, look, I want to do this on a regular, but I don't want to, I don't want to have to bother you. They're all my friends. Okay.

So I actually asked the head person. She said, no. Oh, I tried to go the right way. Right.

Like I could have just easily just slid in there and just fucking and just went and no one would have said anything ever, ever, but I just don't want to be that guy. Like I already break enough rules. Right. You know what I mean?

Like where the fuck is the line? You know, I wonder why it's so dangerous. It's not that it's dangerous. I think that people that don't know what they're doing, maybe they can get hurt on it.

Oh, okay. Yeah. I think that's really what it pulls. Yeah, of course.

They just let him do whatever he wants. This man clearly knows his stuff. Clearly knows what he's doing. Clearly his knowledge.

Do you still have the hotbox at your house? I do. I haven't been using it as much lately. It's on its downslide.

So that's where I'm getting the speech. Well, because I've been doing the sauna post-workout. Right. Well, I mean, something always takes place of whatever the current fad is.

I'm still doing the same thing. Right. I'm just doing it at the gym. Well, the bike's at the gym, but people have to watch you.

Mm-hmm. Right. Don't forget the inversion table that I have. Oh, I forgot about that.

Yeah, I have to do that too. Where is that? I don't remember even seeing that. That's in the family room.

Oh, it's in the family room. Yeah, yeah. I need to use that more often. Wow.

Are you supposed to be doing that with your… Yeah, whoa, we don't talk about that. Well, I'm just going to say you're supposed to be doing that. Yes, we are supposed to be doing that. Oh, gotcha.

It's supposed to help. Oh. Mm-hmm. And it does.

Does it? Well, I would imagine it takes all the pressure. Yeah. All the tension on.

Mm-hmm. Do you need a ride tomorrow, I meant to ask you? No, my wife has to go. Oh, okay.

I didn't know with the kids. I think we're bringing the whole squad, apparently. I don't know. Oh.

All right. I can thank you. Thank you, but no. It's all right.

So, yeah. Salt Bikes. That's the ordeal. Salt Bikes.

Salt Bikes. Anybody got on a Salt Bike nearby? Rogue Echo Bike. Rogue Echo Salt Bike.

Nearby. Well, I mean, we have listeners all around the world. All around the world. Did you not hear the opening of the show?

I did, that was the first time. " I don't know how the guy deals. I think that what's going to happen is... You pay shipping.

if they don't move the bike out soon and I fail to have access to it I'll probably just buy one off from Rogue just fucking go get a brand new one but like what's the difference you know I'm looking at the other one and like the pedal was fucked up there's rust on it and shit they had it outside I don't know yeah I mean not like outside outside but in Florida with the humidity patio or something okay yours is a little fucked up Right. And you're apparently a little fucked up, right? Just try to get an extra 50 bucks. 50 bucks.

Or $50. Terrible. The nerve of some people. The nerve of some people.

The nerve. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Got anything else you want to move along?

I feel good about that. Let's, you know, I thought that was a good topic of discussion. I really wanted to kind of solidify all the other bullshit that we talked about in the past and just end it and move forward. Gotcha.

Yeah, that's all done. Yeah, that's all done. All of that shit. Skip show.

Right. Assault bike. Assault bike. That's where we're at.

Preparing for war. Right. I do want to start calling in, I guess we'll call them in next week, Tommy Pharrell from Nickel City, because myself and Phil, not you. No, no.

Not you. No, I'm not available. You won't come. Not available.

No. So we're doing an event in Nickel City, August 20th. Yes, he's been promoting it, but yeah, we should promote it on the show. We should promote it on the show.

Yeah, we should promote it. Right. Let's promote it. We promote.

Together, you'll promote it. We'll talk about that after the show. Okay. I have an idea.

An idea. Yes. It's a great idea. Hey, on with the news.

The news. We have some news. We have a national story. We have some Florida story.

So yeah, there's been a lot going on. All right. Let's do it. Not a lot of industry news.

They're still on the tail end of all the PCA stuff. Everybody's still funneling through all their interviews. And orders are starting to come in. From the four corners of the world, all the cigar industry news you could possibly need.

The Cigar Hustler Podcast Report with Mike Toon. Founders of PuroTrader charged with PPP fraud. Uh-oh. com, a cigar selling platform, has been indicted on multiple counts of bank fraud, Wire Fraud, Attempted Wire Fraud, according to the press release from the Department of Justice, New Hampshire's office.

Pierre Rogers, 43, of Irvine, California, and Joshua Levitt, 40, of Norwood, New Hampshire, were charged with six counts of bank fraud, one count of wire fraud, two counts of attempted wire fraud, and one count of money laundering related to defrauding the government through fraudulent loans to the government's Paycheck Protection Program. The Fraud Fraud. which is meant to help small businesses during the COVID-19 pandemic by issuing forgivable loans. Dated July 29, 2022, Joshua Leavitt has agreed to plead guilty to one count of bank fraud and one count of wire fraud in exchange for guilty pleas for counts four and seven.

S. Attorney for District of New Hampshire has agreed to dismiss counts one, two, three, six, eight, and nine. One, two, three, six, eight, nine, nine. Seven is there, though.

Yes, he has guilty to four and seven. In addition, the prosecution will recommend to the judge the lowest sentence in the sentencing guidelines for these charges. Leavitt's pleas expect to be entered on August 8th. Roger is not part of this plea agreement.

That was from the Department of Justice. There were rules about who could qualify for a loan and the other rules about how the money could be used. Apparently, he violated all of that. Can't do that.

If a business used the money in a specific way, such as a payroll, rent, utilities, a company could apply to have the loan forgiven. According to the government, Rogers and Levin applied for 14 loans, including roughly $2 million in PPP loans and $3 million in loans from the small, do you need another lighter? No, I'm hell-bent on using this one. Because that click, click, click, click, click is going to, it sounds terrible.

Disaster loans, the government says the two falsified tax documents as well as payroll and earnings statements to secure these loans. The pair applied for loans for a variety of companies, including Dark Matter Associates, Demeter Projects, Monticello, Transnational, Puro Trader, Puro Labs, Puro Group, and Sunju, which the government says Rogers & Levitt controlled. It also alleges Rogers and at least some of the money for personal use. For example, the government accused Rogers & Levitt of attaining fraudulent loans for Puro Group of $175,000, presumably for May 2020.

It says Roger wired 107,780 of that loan to Private Collection Motors to purchase a 2011 Rolls Royce Ghost. Nice. It's not even a new one, a motherfucking 11-year-old one. Puro Trader is an online cigar-selling platform that allows consumers retailers to sell the cigars to consumers using both fixed-price models as well as auctions.

Wow. It's unclear how large Puro Trader is because some of Roger's statements about the company are difficult to believe. For example, he told Boveda, Boveda, Boveda, the Puro Trader sold more than 50,000 boxes of cigars in 2016, was on track to triple that number in 2017, Rogers was arrested in Hawaii on June 30th, and released on a $50,000 bond, counts one through seven carry fines of up to 1 million, and up to 30 years in prison. So you have to give the money back, I'm assuming, because if he's only being charged a million dollars, he's still coming out ahead.

You think so? They got two and It's been $3 million. They got $5 million. The fine's $1 million.

And he bought a 2011. It seems reasonable that he, you know, $3 million and he only spent like $175,000 on a car. 2011 Rolls Royce. That's a small amount.

So you figure they just let that go. Yeah. What the hell? You know, if you're tied in close with the good old boys or the fucking, you know, whatever.

Apparently he thought he was, but nope. Somebody done opened their mouth somewhere. You are not in the circle. You should probably not put pictures of yourself with your new car on social media, I would imagine.

Yeah, that's probably not the best idea. No, that might not be a good idea. Someone reported him. Somebody.

He made somebody mad. Oh, okay. He got arrested in Hawaii. I mean, how bad can the prison be in Hawaii?

Probably bad. You think so? I think it's bad. You don't think you're eating poi and pig cooked in banana leaves?

I got a feeling that, you know, if you're living on the high hog or whatever the fuck it's called, it's amazing in Hawaii. Right. If you're broke as fuck or you're busted for some shit, I think that it's fucking bad. I think it's a rough prison, huh?

Yeah, I think it's bad. I wouldn't say rough prison, I would just say that like... Right, I mean, it's not in the federal pen. Yeah, yeah, nobody gives a fuck.

In New Jersey. Yeah, it's like, eat this fucking eight-day-old roll or whatever the fuck, you know. Maybe it's not barbecue pork, it's fried pork or something. It's probably not pork at all.

The lays that they give you when you go in are the ugly plows. Don't they have to import the pork and shit? There's wild boar everywhere. You think so?

Those things mate like rabbits. In Hawaii? Sure. Interesting.

Yeah. They have pig hunts in Hawaii. Really? Sure.

You think so? Yeah. I don't think so. In the jungle.

In the jungle? The jungle. With bamboo spears. Bamboo spears.

I'm almost positive. And how close do they live to volcanoes and shit? Well, they chase them up to the volcano, and then the pigs go, oh, and I'm going in there, and then, shoo, oh, with the bamboo thing. That's how they get them.

Oh, that makes sense. I saw it in National Geographic. You did? There was a lot of time over the weekend when I was here working.

I had been playing on the TV over there. National Geographic boar hunting in Hawaii. Yeah, pig. Just pigs.

Pig hunting. Yeah, they don't have the tusk. There's no tusk? No, they're just wild pigs.

Just wild pigs. Wild pigs. And the only way you can hunt them is with the bamboo spears. Well, yeah, that's fair.

Yeah. Right, there's no guns. There's no guns in Hawaii. No.

Okay, only bamboo sticks. Only bamboo. So everybody walks around. In the dark.

Oh, oh, oh. If it's a bamboo, you can hollow it out. Like a blow gun. So you, okay.

Then they shave little pieces of bamboo to make little darts. Oh. And then they use the flowers to make the poison. We're going to have to get Duque on the phone to confirm all this.

Oh, yeah, Duque. Is he feeling better? I hope he's feeling better. Duque, I hope he's feeling better.

He had COVID. Did he? Yeah, he was one of the ones that got COVID. That guy's fucking superhuman.

Well, he said because of his age that the doctor put him on some special medicine in his announcement when he said he had it. Interesting. They were concerned because a man of his age, but he's a ninja, so it's okay. Yeah, the guy is the next level.

The guy outlives all of us. There's all of us. Oh, certainly. 210 years old.

Right. Still working in the Dunbarton booth. Still hunting the pigs. Right.

I don't know if he hunts pigs. He likes to for fun. I would imagine. He probably wrestles them.

No bamboo at all. What he does is he gets on a surfboard. Oh, yeah. They're in the water, too?

Yeah. That's in the Bahamas. He likes to start at the lowest point, and then he works them all the way up to the volcanoes. Oh, chased them right out of the water.

Yeah, that's fascinating. That's challenging. That's something else. I've seen him carry the bamboo spears at the Dunbarton tobacco booth in the PCA booth.

It's actually a thing. That's why that table's so long, they're probably underneath. Yeah, in case shit goes sideways. Right.

Makes complete sense. I thought he was going to stab me once. Oh, probably. Alright, Kumpay Lancero is coming to my list.

Earlier this year, Maya Selva Cigars announced that it would be adding a Lancero to its Kumpay, C-U-M-P-A-Y, Kumpay. Kumpay? C-U-M-P-A-Y. How would you say that?

Kumpay. Kumpay. kumpee kumpee kumpee kumpee kumpee kumpee kumpee you come pay right now you come pay you come at seven in the three eights this is tied with the churchill the longest vitola in the line in the thinnest vitola edging out the corona size the kumpe line is made of entirely nicaraguan tobacco was glued in a band a wrapper from jalapa a binder from jalapa and fillers from undisclosed others It's not undisclosed. Wrapper, filler, Jalapa?

Yes. And filler is undisclosed. Sounds very Jalapi. Wait.

Jalapa, wait. Wrapper from Jalapa, binder from Jalapa, and fillers from undisclosed. It sounds like they don't know. A lot of tobacco in that undisclosed.

It sounds like they don't know. Yeah, probably. It sounds like they said Jalapa, Jalapa. I asked them what the filler was, and they kind of shrugged at me.

Right. I don't know. Like, look, it's 38 gauge. It's not too much in there.

It's filler. Okay. Right. The line went through a packaging overhaul in 2016 with the addition of the Lancero is now offered in seven sizes.

Kampay Short, Kampay Robusto, Kampay Volcan. What's a Vulcan? What shape is that? I've seen the name before.

Not familiar. You're going to look it up? Kampay? No, the Volcano.

Tierra Volcan? Volcan. Volcan. And then the number 15.

Mombacho. What shape is number 15? It used to be Mombacho. Mombacho?

Tierra Volcan? No, they're saying the Kampay Volcan is a 5x60, but what shape is a volcano? Is it just a small? Oh, it's a brick brick.

It's taller with a hole at the top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Makes a place.

Of course. It's also a Compe Maduro that is offered for the Robusto. Yeah, that one's darker. Right.

Yeah, yeah, right. Bigger. Bigger. The new Lancero was...

You got off the rails today. Ah, we'll just move on. No, no, no. We're very excited about the Compe.

7x38. It's the expressions of a grand cigar that has power, finesse, and complexity. It features a complex array of aromas, a lot of complex. A hint of espresso, hazelnut, and leather, revealed through an unusual progression where potency precedes mildness.

Maya Selva Cigars says that the Kampé name comes from the word used from the Tawaki Indians to refer to rolled tobacco. The people that owe money. Right. I mean, that was an opportunity for you.

Oh, it was, wasn't it? Yeah. El Cetimo slates new lighters and pens for holiday season. No, we're going to up the ante.

$10 million lighters. Now there's pens. Oh, ooh. Well, all the lighters are used now.

What happens if the $5 million lighter breaks? You fucked? Can you send it back? I don't know.

How does that work? Is that a car warranty or something? Let's read on and see. 5 million, is that for all three or was that per lighter?

Per. Per. Yeah. El Septimo has announced plans to release a collection of new lighters and pens that will complement its emperor and sacred art cigar collection with 10 designs offered for both the lighters and the pens.

While all these designs have not been revealed, the company has released images of two of the lighters and announced that they were offer both a soft flame and a jet torch, With prices ranging from, you want to guess? The pens? These are the lighters. The lighters?

Soft and jet, both. We're going to push the envelope here. We're going to go $7 million. $245.

$245,000? $1,500. These are like every day. Oh, these are your lower end.

This is your lower end. Oh, I got it. These are targeted for the average Joe. Yeah, the average guy.

Of the 10 lighters, six will be part of the Sacred Arts Collection, but the other four will come from the Emperor Collection. The pens, meanwhile, will be priced from... Want to guess a pen? $400.

You're very close, $200 to 750, so right there in the middle. Okay. The company has not announced how many designs from each collection will be used, nor has it released any images of the pens yet. But we're doing it.

Yes. I don't want to get into details, but there's going to be around $200 to $700 a clip. Right. And you're going to be able to write with them.

No, they don't write. Oh, you can't use them. They're just for luxury. While the basis of the pens and lighters will be the same across the 10 options, It will be the varied finishes and uses of precious stones and metals that will be responsible for the variations in prices.

The new pieces were designed by MPA Studio de Creation La Maison-Youton's design agency in Paris, other French pens, and represent the company's launch in its own traditional luxury lighter and pen segments. They become a beret. We wanted to create the world's most luxurious lighters and we were successful in doing so by creating a collection of masterpieces That captivated the world's attention in July at the PCA show in Las Vegas, says Zaya S. Yonan.

Yonan? Oh, maybe he's Chinese. Yonan? Zaya?

Chairman and CEO of Yonan Properties in El Cetimo via a press release, now we want to introduce more affordable everyday-- He's not French, I can tell you that much. Yeah, he's French now. No. Now we want to introduce more affordable everyday luxury lighters.

Yeah, it makes sense. Yeah, and pens that will stand out in comparison to the other products available today. 5 million lighter. I'm using that big-- every fucking day.

Not only am I lighting my cigars with it every day, I'm fucking lighting my charcoal on the fucking grill with that bitch. Oh, you're really whipping that out there, too, huh? I'm keeping it in my fucking pocket at all times. Like, check this out.

Here we go. I'm the fuck out of here with this fucking... I ain't fucking around. 5 million on a mantle.

You know? That's like a drinking car. It just doesn't make sense. The drinking Ferrari.

Yeah, the drinking Ferrari. I mean, a drinking Ferrari. Yeah, you sit in the Ferrari and you drink. In addition to the multi-million dollar lighters, Then it featured at the trade show, Elsa Timo released an Emperor Collection pen that is covered with 24 karat gold and designed by French artist Mitchell Oddiard.

It is part of a humidor that comes with 20 of the Emperor Collection Napoleon Royal Salomon Cigars. The release is limited to just three sets priced at $100,000. $100,000. $100,000.

$100,000. The company is scheduled the lighters and pens to ship in December just ahead of the holiday season. Now it's time for you to cash in. I know what I want for Christmas, Michael.

No problem. I'm gonna get two. Oh, one for each of us. Yeah, so we can write a bunch of shit.

Right here with these stupid Sharpies. What the hell is this? The Sacred Arts Collection was released in August 2021, made up of seven cigars. I wish I had that clientele.

Made its debut. I had to sell the one pen a year. We'd be done. Right, we could close the other 364 days.

Hey, I got this lighter. You want it? You want it? I'll tell you what, 10% off.

Yeah. Give you a deal. Yeah, $5 million. We're going to shave a half a mil off the top.

Oh, a half a mil. I bet it's a good lighter. Can I have free fuel? Of course.

Oh, I'm going to have to have special fuel. Yeah, of course I need special fuel. Which is a million a cans. You have to pay for this too, yeah, yeah.

Of course it's a fucking million. And if you don't use it, it violates the warranty. If you don't, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

We could tell you put Zykar fuel in it. I know you wanted to fucking light up your charcoal brick kit with this. Right. And I can tell that you used the wrong fuel.

You drop it in the grill. Oh, shit. Five million dollars. Fucking turn the grill over.

Like, the most gangster shit would be somebody buys that fucking lighter and they put it in like the most fucking obscure places. Like fucking cow pie. Fucking shit. People would eat that up, they'd fucking watch it.

They're like, oh my god, look what he's doing. Oh, he's just dropping it in the shit? Yeah, just fucking put it in the toilet. Oh, drop it in the toilet.

Five million dollars. You fucking can't keep up with my lifestyle. later i love toilet like when the coronavirus is going on and people were burning toilet paper like fuck you oh you ever see that no oh my god that was so funny like you can't keep you jealous of my lifestyle right yeah there's toilet paper shortage yeah because you know because jack toronto bought up all that toilet paper right yeah i have emergency toilet paper now you have backup for the backup toilet we bought a case of toilet paper off amazon towards the end of the It has a pandemic. Yeah.

It has no hole in it. So, it's extra. Oh, okay. So, you can't put it in the bathroom 'cause it doesn't, you know, you can't put it in there.

Right. So, we just leave it, yeah, in the box, in the garage, in case of emergencies. In case of pooping. Right, in case there's a shortage again.

Yeah, in case of a poop problem. Right. Phil does not like... You're so well prepared.

I try to be. Yes. We never run out of toilet paper. Tatuaje Tobacco Plaza Double D returning late August.

Tatuaje? Tatuaje. Back in the spring of 2012, Tobacco Plaza in Great Neck, New York celebrated its 40th anniversary with the Tatuaje Tobacco Plaza Double D, a 6x58 Gran Bellicoso with a blend that used a Connecticut Broadleaf wrapper over Nicaraguan binders and fillers. Ten years later, the store is bringing the cigar back in celebration of its 50th anniversary.

Very nice. The Tatuaje Tobacco Plaza Double D returns with the same batola and blend details with the production limited to 500 boxes of 10 cigars, pricing set at $20 per cigar, $200 a box, which includes the New York OTP tax. Unlike the original release where there were two versions released, one with bands, one without, they were wet-packed into foil, there will not be a wet-pack option in the release. Pete Johnson recently shared the image of how the cigars will be packaged.

I don't have the photo. But they look, I'm sure they look nice. They look beautiful. The bands will also be different from the original version, which said Tobacco Plaza Double D on them.

Now the cigars wear the Tatuaje Exclusive Series Band with a secondary Reserva Band that are a It's used for blends that use in Connecticut broadly for appers. Oh, lovely. Isn't that lovely. Davidoff, Scandinavian Tobacco Group, not exhibiting at the Inter-Back 2022.

Nice. What'd I say? I don't know. Say it again.

Davidoff. Yes. Scandinavian Tobacco Group, not exhibiting at the Inter-Back 2022. Oh.

So we should not go. The Europe one? Yeah. If they're not gonna be there, why go?

Yeah. I don't know. Two of the largest European, oh, the both of them, two of the largest European cigar companies will not be exhibiting at the most prominent international cigar trade show later this year. Well, why?

Let's read on. Mm-hmm. Uh, separately confirmed to Cigar Hustler Podcast that neither company will exhibit at the Interfact 222, which takes place September 15th to the 17th in Dortmund, Germany. They are two of the largest, most prominent name cigar business pulling out of the trade show at the time.

They believe the non-Cuban large cigar segment of Europe is likely to significantly expand due to supply and pricing issues with Cuban cigars. It's true. Let's see. Where are they going?

The STG stand has been consistently present in her tobacco for more than a decade. STG is the parent company of General Cigars, Cigars International, Agio, and others. Traditionally, it has been one of the largest stands the world used to refer to the trade show booth in Europe, in Quebec. Post-COVID environment, STG, like many other companies, have evaluated our trade show strategy, The methodology concluded that the high cost of participation does not outweigh the benefit to our business.

The death of the convention. Instead, to participate in dormant, we will focus on leveraging our German sales force to deepen customer engagement via personal interactions at the retail level. We will level our German forces. Oh, fine.

I do German accent. I get in trouble. We will do this. We will conquer everyone.

We will visit them at the ground and we will be there. We will give them the cigars. So give them the cigars at a personal level. We will proceed similarity with our international customers by engaging in local one-to-one dialogue to support and grow our brands.

The STG is known privately for its premium cigars in the US, the company's machine-made division, extremely popular in Europe. In addition, the lack of STG is actually a reduction in two notable boosts in enter-to-back shortly before the enter-to-back. adjoj diamond German distributor for Drew Estate and La Florinigan La Flor Dominicana La Flor Dominicana Yeah, La Flor Dominicana It also had a tone stand which is located in one of the two halls and like the American trade show where boots are typically relocated year to year blah blah blah blah blah We're not going it doesn't matter I think that we should send a press release to release to Half Wheel and tell them that we're not going We too are not going to Inter Tobacco We are pulling from the Inter Tobacco We have never gone And we continue to not go. We won't be going this year.

You have the emails for what you should do. Hey, Charlie, I just want to let you know, press release. We are opting out of Inner Tobac. Opting out of Inner Tobac.

Oh, you were going? No. No, no, no. Clearly, it just doesn't make sense.

We're not focusing on that market. Let's see. Nicole Kaufman, Director of Global Corporate Communication, provided the following statement. It's too expensive.

It's just the next. Inner Tobac is undoubtedly an important international platform, Formed an important meeting for the place to enter. However, the trade fair has changed a lot. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Some readers may identify these two companies. Blah, blah, blah. , the company's presence at the trade show is far less consistent. Wow, there's a lot of information about them not going to a show.

Oh, here we go. The decision by Davidoff and SGG are one of just many number of major storylines entered back in 2022. It's likely to mark a major turning point in the German cigar market, They've given a recent announcement by Vander, Vander Malier Cigar Family, the parent company of Oliva and Jay Cortez earlier this month, announced it had acquired Warman and Scholl and Warman Cigars, and also entered an agreement to, a lot of Warmans in this place, Wormans, Wormans, Vander Malier also has a wide web, blah, blah, blah, this will be the first entered back trades fair to the last two decades, fans were, this is the first one since COVID, and there it is, and there it is, people are going, the Germans are expanding. Habano It's like a wind tunnel over there Oh look now we don't hear it Oh there's no more noise No more wind tunnel Habano's essay details Coheba 55th anniversary celebration For September 7th through the 9th Are we going to that?

Nope Oh we would have to leave now Yeah Oh so we're not going to that either No Another press release We're not going to this either Hey I just want to let you know We're not going to this either We too shall not be attending the Habano's essay It's publicly announced more detail Well, regarding Schuhiba 55th anniversary celebration in September, it'll be a three-day event. Technically, there's a fourth day for members of the media. Oh, we could go four days. We'd like to know more.

That will take place on September 17th. Would you like to know more? You know, I was thinking about this media thing that we are considered in this media thing. This media, yeah.

Yeah. So, all the other regular media people, they send out, you know, requests for interviews and stuff. Yeah. And they get them.

I feel if we sent them out, we would probably not get replies. I don't think that's true. You don't think, you think we would? Yeah.

I don't know, some people I don't think would take our interviews. I think that the people that matter would take it. Yeah? Yeah.

Oh. Absolutely. Maybe next year, we just send out a request for interviews, but we don't do them. Perfect.

Just to see who answers. Ooh, and then we could like tally it. Right. We could do, here's what we do, we make a bet.

Right. It's like sports betting. Oh, okay. Yeah.

We'll make a list of the people we talk to, and we'll get the yes, no, and no response. Oh. And then whoever wins. Whoever gets closest?

Yeah. Oh. The other person has to get a tattoo on their face. No, I'm not getting a tattoo.

Come on! Tattoo on the face? No. No, no, no.

I already have tattoos. Like the Mike Tyson one? No, no. Just on the design?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No? Okay. But we could do something.

We could do something. It's a good idea. Okay. When's the TPEs at first?

Yeah, of course. I think it's in April. Let's start with the TPE. Then we can compare the TPE to the PCA next year.

Okay. Whatever you want to do. Write that down, Phil. Write that down so we remember what's going on.

Hold on, Phil. Yes. Hold on, we're going to give you a mic. What happens if the one loses?

Who loses? Whoever loses gets to tattoo Phil. Ooh, tattoo Phil. Whoever wins, whoever wins tattoo Phil.

Yes. Whoever loses gets to wear the cigar outfit on the show. What cigar outfit? What cigar outfit?

Isn't there a cigar outfit here? No. Oh. Like a pumpkin or something?

No, we'll get one. What's the big deal? I'd wear a cigar outfit on the show. Yeah, we'd wear a fucking unicode.

I'd wear that too. Yeah, I mean. There's zero fucks giving on this podcast. You didn't see the year where I was a wolf and he was a pig on his roof or something?

What do you not like? What do you not like? Bad ratings? Right, exactly.

Yeah. Yeah, we don't give a shit. I don't care. Okay, September 7th, Wednesday, welcome evening to the La Guenito Protocol Room.

September 8th, visit the La Guenito Factory. September 9th, gala, dinner, and humidor auction at the... Alright, moving on. We get it.

The man knows who gives a fucking care. Aww. It's September 9th, who cares? Alright, we're 45 minutes, alright, here we go.

Teen uses a trampoline to rescue neighbors trapped in a fire. This is the Florida story? No, no, this is the national story. This is a rando story.

I just thought it was mainly this teen used a trampoline to save people in a burning apartment building. That's pretty impressive. Yes, Bentonville, Pennsylvania. Okay.

A teenager is being hailed as a hero for quick thinking after using a trampoline to rescue pets, children, and adults trapped in a house fire. Wow. Bentonville Fire Rescue in Pennsylvania said the blaze broke out early Tuesday morning at an apartment complex. You bring me that damn trampoline.

Fallon O'Regan. There's no time. 17. That sounds like a fucking superhero.

It does, doesn't it? Fallon O'Regan. I am Fallon O'Regan. Said he was just about to go to sleep when he noticed something wasn't right.

I had just laid down and saw orange in my door, he told Fox Television Station. So I walked over to the door, opened it, and as soon as I opened it, it was engulfed in flames that were all over the porch. Wow. O'Regan said he grabbed his personal items, went to the bottom floor, kicked out a window, and jumped on the bottom floor.

The teenager said once he was outside, he knew other families were still inside, and started to yell that there was a fire. He then helped a few other people get out of the house. " Yes. But O'Regan suggested the neighbor use his trampoline on the side of the house.

Let's get the trampoline. Yeah, for the next door neighbor. I started yanking it, the trampoline. Yes.

Yes. He and the neighbor ran over and started pulling with me, O'Regan said. The trampoline was just a quick idea because it was the most reasonable thing we had besides the ground. The teenager said two dogs, two children, two adults were able to jump out the window and onto the trampoline to escape the flames.

My mind was in a panic. I didn't know what I was thinking, he continued. I was just dialed in. Several people are crediting O'Regan with his heroic actions.

I'm overwhelmed because of it, he continues. There's just no other words to explain it. Fire officials have not yet revealed what caused the fire. They said 12 adults and six kids were displaced as a result of the blaze and were being helped by the Red Cross.

News update. Fallen Oregon, fuckin' responsible for fire. Yeah, that's a bad thing. Fallen Oregon is starting to fall.

Set to blaze to the apartment. Set to the apartment complex. Then dress and lay down. Teen bitten in the face by a shark!

Florida? Florida Keys. Yes! A Florida teen has quite a shark tale to tell about a recent trip to the Keys.

The 13-year-old Fisher Hrico from Oviedo, local boy, went to the Keys with the family for lobster mini-season last week. While he was in the water, he was bitten by a nurse shark, a species usually known to be dasta. A nurse shark? Yes, you know, I always tell my wife not to worry about the nurse sharks.

Oh, wait a second, how's the nurse shark? Yeah, the nurse shark, yeah, don't piss that thing off. It's like that thing's low to the ground. Right, the mouth is down here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did you do? But let's see, I turned around and there was a shark, like right there, he said pointing to his face, it was scary, like I tried getting away, but it was so fast, Euriko said he grabbed the shark and pulled it from his face, then he swam to the boat, his dad, Kent Euriko, said it was a terrifying moment for the family, he said when they first heard his wife screaming about a shark, he just assumed there was one nearby, he said he had no idea it had attacked his son, when he saw Fisher panicking, and moving toward the boat he said he tried swimming, He came back to him as fast as he could. When I approached him, I was just seeing blood gushing out of his face.

At that point, I'm like, what happened? In a team effort, Fisher's family got him back to the boat and rushed him to shore. They then drove him to the urgent care clinic where he received at least 10 stitches in his upper lip. The teen said he'll be back in the water as soon as he recovers.

I was told, I wasn't told this. First of all, let me correct myself. Yes. I was watching The Real Housewives of the Shit with my wife, and then they did like the Andy Cohen thing afterwards, and there was a guy- I hate that Andy Cohen show.

Oh, there's a one guy, he was a guy who was a bartender, there was a guest bartender, and he had a missing arm. Oh. Yeah, and apparently he says- How does he do the board? I don't know, he said that you're supposed to go towards the shark.

What? That way, if you're running from the shark, the shark thinks that you're prey. Right. And you're freaking out.

Right. But if you go towards the shark- Is that how he lost the arm? I don't know. I don't want to check his, uh.

He did live. Yeah, but he's only got one arm. Yeah, well, you know. How does he bartend?

Casualties of war. I don't know. Well, I feel if he would have ran from the shark, he might have two arms. I'd have to get details of how he lost the arm.

Well, I think he lost the arm with the shark thing. I assume it was a shark thing. Where else would they be talking about a shark? But I don't know if he was going towards the shark.

I mean, you know, if he was giving that advice now, and that was the advice that he used when he lost the arm, I feel like he's doing everybody a disservice. Do you know, well why else would they be talking about the shark, though? Because he's a shark guy. The bartender?

Yeah. Okay. Well, he's obviously a bad shark guy. Yeah, maybe he's a good shark guy.

Well, because he has one arm left? Well, you know. You're missing an arm. You're not a good shark guy.

What was that one guy's name, Crocodile Hunter, Steve? He wasn't a shark guy. He was an alligator guy. That's why he was killed by a stingray.

He was not a stingray guy. He was not a stingray guy, no. Ah, I understand that. At Daytona Beach last week, two people got stung by stingrays.

Oh, did they live? Yeah, they got stung, not in the chest, in the feet. Oh. Do you know about the Stingray Shuffle?

No. Is it a dance? Oh, see, you didn't grow up in Florida. I did.

I just... Well, but you weren't... First of all, my parents didn't love me. Oh, that's true.

So anyway, this show, this thing is playing on the news. Okay. And I'm yelling Stingray Shuffle at the TV, because these people got stung by Stingrays. " And an alligator chase you, you run zigzag.

That's the other thing they teach you when you're little... So a stingray shovel, when you walk in the shallower water. Cha-cha now, y'all. Right?

Like that? Right. No, you sort of scuff your feet. Yeah.

So you're kicking up sand in front of you. So if there's a stingray, the problem with the stingray is you step on it, and then a little thing comes up and it hits you in the back of the leg. Well, it's just automatic that you step on it, the thing comes up because it's at the base of the tail. Ah, okay.

So it hits you in the back of the leg. Gotcha. So if you're kicking your feet, the sand is displacing the stingray, and he swims off in front of you. Ah.

So that's what you're supposed to do in the shallow water. But if you're doing the shuffle, you may get a crab come out of the sand. No, because they move too. Sand comes out of the crab.

Yeah, but a crab's not your own. Do you know what you do for a stingray bite? Or sting, I guess? Well, first you don't pull the thing out of your chest.

That's obviously a bad move. Leave that there. No, it's heat. Yeah?

Like a jelly face, you know. We have plenty of heat here in Florida. Well, no, you put hot water on it, it takes the sting away. Oh.

How you get hot water at the beach, that's another thing, I guess. Yeah. That's what you're supposed to do. I can't just pee on you?

No, that's Jellyfish. I just want you to know, you can stay great. If anything happens to you, I'm going to pee on you. Anything happens to the beach, you just want to choose to pee on me, don't you?

Hold on, let me just pee on you. Yeah. Okay, whoever loses the bet gets to pee on me. Oh my God, that is serious.

Whoa, but that's not happening. That's not happening. The tattoo on the face was possible, but not the pee. Oh my God.

" First of all, I'm not comfortable peeing on you, and I definitely don't want you peeing on me. You know what, Michael? You know what, Michael? If your life was dependent on it, I would pee on you.

I appreciate it. And I would do the same for you, Michael. Oh, I appreciate it. I would pee on you if I had to, if I had no choice.

I had no choice. Nobody else around. Does anybody have pee? Anybody.

Anybody else need to pee? I currently don't have to pee. I swear, I'm crossing. Give Michael some water.

I'm dying over here. You got a listener of the week? I do. Who is the listener of the week?

Oh, wait. Hold on. Oh, yeah. It's already on the right screen.

Who's the listener of the week? My boy, Bear. Bear Duplice is listener of the week. Duplice?

I can say his name, right? He's my friend. Why is he the listener of the week? He's Duplicea for me.

Oh, that sounds like a skin disease. Duplice. What is that rash? Why is he the listener of the week?

I have Duplicea on my arm. Because he always tells me about how he loves listening to you and listening to you fuck up words. Oh, yes. I did the Kumpay story just so I could say Kumpay 17 times.

And when you said that, I had to instinctively thought of Bear. Oh. That's a whole reason for all that story. Yeah.

Right. What about Shop of the Week? Do you have a Shop of the Week? Yes.

Tell me. Shop of the Week! Nickel City Cigars! That's right!

It's Nickel City Cigars! Where on August 20th, Michael and Phil will be there doing an event for Post-On just again. Yes! It is his three-year anniversary?

Three years. Three-year anniversary. Three years. So he's almost at that beaten retailer.

Almost, yeah. He was very happy at the piece of the ice. Yeah, maybe you're five? Yeah.

It's kind of where you hit the wall. So you lose all hope. You're five, you're six, and you're like, I hate that. But if you get through it, you could eventually pay your bills.

Oh, nice. Yeah. It happens. Yeah?

It does. Oh, good. Yeah. Well, two more years to go, and you're there.

No, no. He's at three. Two more years, he's at five. Yeah.

So then there's probably like five years of misery. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like at year six, you're not paying your bills?

No, no, no. Oh, oh, I thought that's what you said. Maybe like year eight. Oh, jeez.

Yeah. That's terrible. Possibly an employee. You get an employee?

Yeah. Oh, nice. Yeah, you earn one, pay them. Oh.

Yeah. All right, you got anything else? No. All right, this has been episode 240 of Cigar Hustler Podcast.

It was fun to do one again. I missed doing one of the last days. Yeah, it was a good little break. It was like a little refresh.

Right, yeah, yeah. We came in, guns a-blazing. Right. Right.

How do I get those Compe cigars? You Compe. No, you Compe. Hey, maybe the guy with the 50, maybe the guy with the 54.

54? Mihor. Is mihor? 54.

Is mihor? You Compe. You Compe. Is mihor.

For the 54s. Okay. All right, guys, we gotta go. Talk to you later.

Bye. A Cigar Hustlers podcast, its owners and its sponsors take no responsibility for the opinions or statements made by the talk show host or their guest. Statements or show topics are not necessarily the beliefs of Mike & Mike Productions or the podcast providers and opinions between talk show hosts may differ. It is not our intention to libel, incite, or hurt anyone's feelings.

We invite you to write the show's host, Mike Szczevankewicz, with any feedback or suggestions that you have for their shows. These broadcasts are presented and made public as entertainment in the hope that they will be entertaining to the audience. This has been a Cigar Hustlers Podcast, a Mike and Mike production. m.

for all new episodes. Hi, I'm doing, I'm Hustoy Raw. Yeah, we just don't have to do a single podcast ever again. Perfect.

I'm good, Mike and Mike. How are you guys doing? The Hojo Deeb. Hojo!

It's the Hojo! You didn't even let him fuck it up all the way. I couldn't get past Hojo! I don't even have to try it.

He's not even going to try it. We're going to cover a lot of ground here, Mike. All right. Try to keep up.

That's a sign of a good podcast. It'd be like four cigars when I walked in a door. All right, end this.

Show Notes

Mikey is the Shepherd! Who's gonna pee on who? Industry News and Shop of the week!!