Cigar Hustlers Podcast Episode 258 Unboxing

Transcript

Four, three, two, one. Welcome to the Cigar Hustlers Podcast, episode 258, with emotion. Don't read the director's notes. With your host, Michael the King, Stepon Kiewicz, and his producer, Mike, the only BDP, Palmer.

And me, I'm Phil, your cameraman. I am the human equivalent of the Participation Award. The holidays are upon us. Where are your decorations?

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No, you didn't. With just a wrench. That's right, you heard me. Just one wrench.

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Nice. Steve is a good friend. We like Steve. We like Steve.

We like Steve. Used to work here. Used to work at Cigar House. Everybody used to work here at one point in their life.

And now he's a successful businessman. Yes. Over here just crushing it. Now I understand he's creating a car above.

A floorboard. Floorboard above, yes. A storage system for your passenger side of your car. It's a spin-off item for him.

But wait, there's more. Well, I brought cigars. I brought down postanias for you. Oh, well, I'll smoke it after.

I don't smoke. I don't smoke during the show. I've never smoked. When did that happen?

Let's see. We've been doing it for five years, so if you go back to the beginning, take off the one after the third show. You're going to tell me. There's no fucking way.

Yeah. So he always starts with a cigar, and he'll take maybe one puff? Not always, but sometimes I'm smoking one before the show. Yeah.

It'll sit here in the ashtray, but I never light one for the show. The Patreon he smokes. Patreon, obviously, because we review the cigar for the Patreon. The cigar for the paypal.

Wow. If there's a guest that brings a cigar and gives it to me, I will light it at that point and try to smoke it, but there's too much going on. This is super weird for me. Because you didn't notice?

No, I had no idea. It's like a Twilight Zone. Oh. Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling.

Well, here you go, Phil. Oh, thank you. You're just Pustania Habano. For later.

Oh, I love the Habano. For later. What do you mean for later? For later, after the show.

Oh, this is for the show. Oh, well I'll light it then, I'll light it, do I need to smoke it with what's in the box? No, no, no. Oh.

No, uh. I still can't taste anything. Like a child. Serious?

Yeah. You gotta start with the retro brew. I can get sweet and salty, but no specific flavors. You gotta, you gotta retro, man.

Like I ate caramel M&M's, and I could tell they were sweet. This is your time. I know I have been, for the what little cigars I've been smoking. What do you mean little cigars you've been smoking?

I've not, I'm not back to my full smoking level and potential yet. Why aren't you? Because I can't taste them. Are you retroing?

Some, yes. Do you taste them on the retro? Yes, you do taste more on the retro, yes. So what's the problem?

You should be smoking normal. I'm still coughing. I need a cutter. Oh my God.

I need a... I have a fingernail. I don't need a cutter. Yeah, I have a cutter.

Uh-oh. Is that mad, Ty? No, 'tis the season. So my wifey is calling me.

Oh. Hello? Put her on the air. My phone continues to do this.

It keeps dropping fucking calls. They want you to come by a new one. It's Christmas. It's so weird.

What a pain in the ass. My phone drops calls. What's up? No, no.

You hung up on her. I'll check right now. Yes, ma'am. Oh my goodness.

Shove that fancy DuPont liner over here. Just hear those sleigh bells jingling, bing, ding, ding. Don't, don't, don't, we don't have rights to the song. We can't sing the song.

Slide the, slide the. Oh. Okay, hold on. All right, Phil.

Three, two, one. You can buy those. That's fine. Hey.

Here we go. One for both of them. One for me. Mr.

Palmer would like one. Oh, the 48. No, no. Give me the 22.

Collegiate trading cards inside. Oh, that sounds nice. Oh, that sounds nice. Oh, nice.

You know, your kids watch the show. Yeah. Do they really? No.

Jacks does, I believe. I would say, um, get the one in the middle of the select drop picks. So, Palmer. So, this is a, yes, Phil.

All right. Why don't you and I do a show? Yeah, have you been, so you said you've been retroing. Yes.

I like that. Is it harder to retro still, or is it? Well, I'm not a, I'm not a retro-er, so I'm trying to get used to it. I don't know what's going on with my phone, bro.

It's crazy. Oh, it's crazy. It's fucking, it says, call failed, call failed. Call failed.

Oh God. It's ridiculous. So yeah, let's get back. Let's talk more about you.

Don't put that camera on you, Phil. Let's talk more about your... Movie magic. Your retroing.

Yes, what about it? First of all, thank you for lighting that up. I appreciate that. Not a problem.

I hate to find I want to be left out. I figured I'd cater for today. I don't know. I don't know.

I was feeling joyful. Enjoyful. Getting food? Oh, this is my catering.

Oh. Catering the cigars for the show. You're welcome. Thank you.

You're welcome. It's a delicious cigar. It's delicious. It is delicious.

Top two. I always forget, did you make the Habano or did you make the Broadleaf? I made the Habano. The Habano is the better cigar.

It is the better of the two cigars. I thought it was the other way around. Anybody can make a good Broadleaf. As long as you have good tobacco.

I'm almost out of fuel here. Can I have that? I feel like I'm very unsituated. But you know what?

I'm a little dialed in. You know, I started off really good today. Yeah? You got here early.

I know. I was told to be here by noon. Oh. You should be here by noon every Monday.

I should. I should be here by noon every Monday. That would be a great thing for this. I'll tell you how this works.

I'll tell you how this all parlays. Who do I gotta call? No, no. It all depends on if I have all of my shit together Sunday night.

Sunday night football is a little hard. It's so hard. Yeah, so like, so, so I need to have everything packed, I need to vacuum the house, and I need to have the mop guy going. Okay.

If I can do all that shit, like, and have all that ready to go, then I can roll into Monday fucking ready. So how hard is that to do? When you say vacuum, don't you have a robot? I do have a robot, I don't like him.

He doesn't like the robot, he likes the mop. I like the, I like the mop robot. When we had a mop robot, that was nicer, because it makes the house smoke cleaner. Mhm.

Yeah. So, you don't like your... So I vacuum the whole house? You don't like your vacuum robot, because it doesn't suck everything up?

It just takes a long time, and it's fucking loud, and it's just like... We have one too, but we hardly ever send it out, because it's just... It sucks up cords. Yeah.

Dog toys. Yeah, I would just rather pelt it out. Like, you know, case in point, one day last week, I was leaving the house. " Right.

button i get in the car i'm fucking 50 feet down the road and his name's alfred by the way we call him alfred and i get a fucking notification that alfred is stuck alfred needs your assistance i'm like well fuck him i'm already down the street i'm out alfred's on his own he's supposed to do his fucking job i told the fucking vacuum yeah hit the button fucking vacuum understand what's going on here that should be the end of your involvement with alfred complete can the mop Help out Alfred? Like, I have the one that empties the bin. Oh. Right?

No, no, no. No, no, no. I get notifications all the time that the fucking gotta empty the bin. And then you pick the fucking thing up, you open this piece of shit, and there's nothing in the bin.

Like, why the fuck did you stop working? It's so... Alfred's just lazy, apparently. Alfred's, you know what?

He's over the house. Yeah. He's done. So we call Alfred.

I quit. Alfred is the name of the vacuum, and Alice is the name of the mop. Right. Alfred and Alice.

Alfred from Batman. And Alice from Brady Bunch. Brady Bunch, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm going to tell you right now, Alice is a hundred times better than Alfred. Alfred's fucking, he's, you know, he got that COVID money, and he's just, he's still riding on that stimulus after all this time. All this time, his retirement. You know, he's not getting back into the workforce is what's going on.

He just fucking let it happen. So frustrating So yeah so no I would much rather pelt it out Santa with the vacuum cleaner You know just hit it with the Dyson Or whatever and get that done And then I hit them up So if I Could do all those things I can I can leave at an appropriate time You know cause I don't like to Leave my house fucked up so Can I get a knife Yeah Your kids are almost to that age where they can vacuum. Don't, listen, don't you worry, my kids, they will do things, but I'm gonna tell you right now, they ain't gonna do it to my fucking liking. Oh, wow.

It's gonna piss me off. Sometimes you gotta let things go. I don't know about all that. So, listen.

All right, moving on. Moving on from my extraordinary. All right, we're doing that. Your horrible lifestyle where your robots aren't working correctly.

Yeah, it's a horrible life. It's a horrible thing here. Yeah. All right.

So, hey, listen. I mean, there's other stuff to discuss, but I saw this package came in. I think I know what it is, and I'm really excited about it. Just because it really pisses off, Greg.

Oh, nice. This SD DuPont came in. Oh! Oh!

I think this is the fancy, the super bougie ones. Camera's on you. I got, we got two of them here. I don't know what to do with all this popcorn.

Hey, hey, hey! Do you remember these, Palmer? I've got McCool now sweeping her ash in the, in the floor now too, when she, she misses the ashtray too. Something about that chair.

Do you remember this, Palmer? I remember vaguely that there were expensive, uh, things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would rather you left them on the table, just leave them on the table.

Don't worry, I'll clean up my mess. Don't worry, I'll clean up my mess. All right, so... Alfred, Alfred.

Alfred. Don't worry, he's stuck on I-4. Oh, it comes in a fancy box. Oh, nice, nice.

Oh! Look at that! Skull. Five million dollars is gonna be yours.

Oh. Dude, this thing is heavy as shit. It looks heavy. It's all the extra metal on it.

Mm-hmm. Those are gorgeous. What's that thing retail for? I think it's like $1,500, $1,600, something.

Woo! I don't know, what the fuck do I know? Is that for me for Christmas? Yeah, that's about right, $1,500, $1,600, yeah.

Yeah, it's $1,600. The matching cutter? Very exciting. No, they actually have two versions of it.

Oh, so I had to get both. Oh, one for me, one for you, obviously. Yeah, we totally needed two. Very exciting.

It's upside down. Thank you. It's the Hout creation. See, this is the gold.

Wait. They were both gold. They were both gold. Wait a second.

You've been schnobbing. Oh, they got you. They got you. You sent you two of the same one.

Sons of a bitches, are they shipping by Way Wednesday? Oh, yeah, no. One is yellow brass and one is white brass. This is correct.

They look the same. They're different. No, that one is brighter. Yeah.

They shipped from Way Wednesday. Yeah, those high players are supposed to arrive this week. It's been two weeks. We have a story about them today.

Oh, I'm very excited about them. Oh, yes, you should be. So Greg hasn't seen these yet. No, no, he knows.

He knows they're coming. Yeah. He sees the bill. But somewhere along the line, they did some type of, you know, we don't, I'm not a big proponent of net 30.

Just so anybody doesn't understand what that means, it means that you get 30 days to kind of pay your bills. your bills for if you buy something with retailers or manufacturers and shit. Somehow, ST DuPont put us on net 30. So that just confuses him even more.

Because he's like, what did we get in? I'm like, we got in 30 days ago. He said, well, what the fuck was it? I'm like, I have no idea.

Go look at the invoice. So anything to kind of frustrate him is always entertaining for me. And I know that these are not going to make him happy. No.

But we have them if you'd like to buy them. Yeah, they'll be on the site. They should be on the site by the time this goes live, so. You know, Palmer, he got his thing.

You weren't here when he got his thing. Oh, he called me. Oh, he called you? He called me at home.

Oh, my. Told me the whole story. " So yeah, so I got the whole story where he wasn't home and had to turn around and go back and everything. Nice.

And the mailman handed it directly to him. What a great mailman. And now it makes sense why Casey sent me a picture of the package. I didn't know why he sent it.

I didn't remember talking about it on the show, obviously. Casey sent me a picture of the gay cruise package. I think we talked about it on the Patreon. Maybe.

Casey's not on the Patreon. Who the hell's Casey? Smoke in Casey. Oh, Casey.

Casey. Casey Aldomini. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Aldomini.

I didn't know how to say his name. Aldomini, my mom. He sent me a picture of the gay cruise package on Facebook messages. And I thought, oh, just some asshole.

We had, I think we told him when we were down there. Oh, is that what it was? Oh, that's what it was, yeah. Yeah.

Oh. Well, that took a long time. It did. Yeah.

I didn't tell him what it was, but I go, this is a prop joke, Greg. I don't do prop jokes. It's so expensive and too much work. That's too much effort.

So this was not me, you're right. But this is, but thank you for calling, this is hilarious. I mean, I was coughing, I couldn't breathe, it was hilarious. And I'm supposed to crack.

I didn't say who? So. You said it wasn't you. So, I'm not saying, I'm not saying who did it, but the person that did it, They actually required my brother to sign for the post, for the package, and it had this gigantic gay cruise with a bunch of dudes on it.

I think he had his show ID, too. Yeah, and it, you know, he saw the postman, and the postman was at the ring door. The ring doorbell. Greg had just left.

He was up at the end of the street, far enough away where he was an inconvenience. So he had to turn back around to come back to that. Oh, man, that's fucking good. No, his mail will never be the same.

I don't know if he's always going to look at him funny. Oh, man. That's hilarious. So, yeah.

So, that happened. So, how was the birthday party Friday night? Oh, today is actually his birthday. Happy birthday, Mr.

Baldwin. Oh, man. I usually do like the midnight. Oh.

I blew it this year. We call him on the show. I blew it this year. If my phone would work.

Oh, it was his birthday? I heard about this. I heard about this. Fine work.

Yeah, it was his birthday. You want to call him? Call him. Tell him when he's on the podcast to see how he acts.

I heard you guys frequent, not frequent, visited. Celebrity. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we went to, so we went to the Yardley.

He had a party there. Mr. Baldwin, that's where we were at this Friday evening. We had a good time.

If it was okay. He could be at work. He could be at work. Let's see if he answers.

I think I'll answer. Oh. Hello? Hello?

Mr. Baldwin, sir, you're on the podcast. Hi. Oh, my goodness.

What's up, guys? Hey, happy birthday. Yeah, happy birthday, sir. Thanks, guys.

Listener of the week. Listener of the week, Grinch Baldwin. I'm sorry I missed your little soiree. Yeah, but the wife and I have had COVID, we're just- I heard, man.

I'm glad you're feeling better. I still can't taste anything. I'm gonna tell you right now, Chris, that is the weakest fucking back out ever on the planet. He was fine.

He has come to work for several days. He could have fucking made it to the party. I think it's bullshit. No, it's not.

Yeah, he could have showed up. Maybe he just knew he couldn't hang. I couldn't hang. There was no hanging.

It doesn't matter. Just putting forth the support, being there for you on your 40, you only turned 40 once, it's a big deal. And you blew it. And you blew it.

You going to be there for when he turns 80? Yes. There's no fucking way you're going to be there. I'll be there when he turns 80.

No. No. It's not going to happen. Well, hey, let's set the bar a little lower.

Let's shoot for 50. How about that? All right, 50 done. You have 10 years to get your shit together.

10 years. Yeah. Get it together in 10 years, Mike. I don't have to catch COVID again.

Not a problem. Oh, wow. Okay. So are you off gallivanting today?

Are you running some errands or what? What are you doing, buddy? I'm off Gallivante right now. We're just kind of cruising around, got some breakfast, and we are going to do a little Christmas shopping and such.

Very nice. No work today. Nothing, you know. Yeah.

Well, the wife took care of me all weekend. It was a good weekend. I had lots of festivities. I had this stuff on Friday with the friends, and we had a nice family dinner last night with the fans.

So, hey, I cannot, I cannot complain. So today is kind of get stuff done day. All right, fair enough. You know, I'm actually 40.

Mature. Well, I don't know what that means, but okay. He's getting mature. He's getting his errands around.

Getting his things done. All right, well, we don't... You wouldn't understand, Michael. You're only 38.

Yeah. I'm not quite at my prime. You're not an adult yet. Yeah.

One day. Well, we don't want to keep you, sir, but we just wanted to call and wish you a happy birthday. Well, guys, it means a lot, man. I really appreciate you giving me a holler.

And Mike will do better next time. Yes, I'll do better. I'm very sorry. Yeah, do better, Mike.

Come on. I'm very sorry. All right, brother. Happy birthday.

Happy birthday, Chris. All right, guys. Take care. We'll talk to you later.

All right, listener of the week. Chris Baldwin. Medical attache. So, yeah, it was a cool party.

And then we went and we saw Jimmy over at Celery City. And we hung out there for a little bit. Then I had to go home because, you know, babysitter is only good till like. Is it the babysitter?

Or is it a new one again? This is, what do you mean? Well, you had one. And then all of a sudden, she became unavailable.

She's gone. Babysitter roulette. Yeah. So we've moved to this other one.

Right. And this is, I think, the second time for her. And she's good. She's good.

Yeah. Well, they've all been good until the second time. I always ask the awkward questions. I was like, will you come back?

Like, you know. Well, they all say yes. Like, they're gonna say no, and here's why. You know.

But. Phil, put that mask back on. What if you have to go on camera? Yeah.

I'll put it back on. Oh my goodness. But we like the muffled sound. It's not muffled from that.

It is muffled from the mask. So, what else did you do? We sat around. We sat around.

We sat around. We ran a couple errands on Saturday and then Sunday. It's nice having you back. What did I do Saturday or something?

Dude, I had a busy weekend. I don't remember what the hell I did, though, because... Uncle Greg's Christmas. Thank you.

That's right, Uncle Greg's Christmas. That's right, we did Uncle Greg's Christmas. Have a letter. On Saturday.

Of course you can, sir. Now I see you smoking during the pocket. For the first time ever smoking. Apparently so, yes.

And see, it's not stained lit. It keeps going. You know, you gotta stay on top of it. I'm very busy over here.

This has moved to my beginning cigar of the day. Yeah? No more. So tell us about Uncle Greg's Christmas.

He said there was a bounce house. He said there was a pony. Yeah, we did a pony ride. We did the face painting.

Is this at his house? No, it's in his neighborhood. So they do this whole thing. Oh.

So it's not Uncle Greg's Christmas, it's the HOA Christmas, and he invites you guys to come out. Yeah, we had originally had planned somewhere else, but that had fallen apart. It's not as special now. I thought he had a bounce house at his house.

No, he doesn't care as that. He had face painting. He doesn't care to that extent, bro. He had a pony.

No. There was a time where Greg would come around and he'd engage with us, but it doesn't happen that much anymore. Right. So, you know, but he wanted us to do this, and originally we couldn't make it work, but we made it work.

So he gets credit for it without actually having to do anything. " Yeah, walks around and smokes a cigar. Yeah, after about an hour, hour and a half, he's uh... Okay, yeah, thank you for coming.

He's had his fill. Right. You know... Speaking of fill, oh, we can't put him on camera because that was a mascot.

" You know, and not like... " Oh, really? So soon already? It's so early.

We've got Rice Krispie treats back at the house. There's candy canes. I mean, I got, I made hot chocolate for everybody. She made, yeah, hot chocolate.

Oh, no cocoa? No cocoa. No Santa Shave Rice Krispie Treats? No Santa Shave Rice Krispie Treats.

Nothing. Oh, with the little red hot on the end of the hat? Yeah, no. Oh, mm-mm.

Rudolph. Got a little present for you guys. Rudolph with a little, I don't know, something. You know, he hasn't asked me what to get anybody, any of the kids for.

That was it. For Christmas. That was it. The Uncle Greg's Christmas.

Well, don't you remember a couple years ago he said he was set? For my kids? That's what he said. No.

You don't remember? What did he do? We'll ask him when we go upstairs. What does he do?

He said that he bought some like a couple years ago. He said that he's set for like the next couple of Christmas. That's for me. No, no, no.

The staccato? No, that wasn't it. What did he buy the kids? I don't know.

The trampoline? Maybe it was a trampoline. No, man. That's only good for one year.

Yeah, that's only good for one year. Yeah, we all know that. It's time for another trampoline. That's what he needs to do.

Step up. It's a trampoline. Did you get out a trampoline in a year? No, we've had that for like, we had that for several years.

Oh, I was like, holy crap, what are the kids doing to it? Jumping on it with spikes. But I think Teddy wants one. Oh.

Hey, a little trampoline. Oh, look at those in-ground one now. Have you seen those? I thought they just dug a...

You gotta dig a fucking hole. Yeah, I thought they just dug the hole and put the above ground in it. Yeah, I thought that that's what they did too. Yeah.

Isn't that what they do? Yeah, but I mean, they're your kids. So what does that mean? Don't you wanna just dig a hole, you know?

That's a big ass hole. Well, we can have a party. I'm not digging a hole for his kids. You want me to dig a hole?

That sounds like a good job for Kenny is what it sounds like. Oh, now you want to dig a hole. Oh, it'll be square though, it won't fit. Now you want to dig a hole.

I don't understand why the trampoline doesn't fit in a hole. It's so weird. It'll stick up two inches. I wouldn't mind an in-ground trampoline, to be honest.

Seems safer for some reason. It's just easier to get in and out of, yeah. Right. And then if you catapulted out of it, it wouldn't be as high up, I guess.

I guess, yeah. So there's that. But you know. What is something you guys have asked for Christmas?

What have we asked for for Christmas? Me personally? Yeah. Nothing special.

Nothing? No. Yeah. Me neither.

Why? What have you asked for, Phil? Yeah, what have you asked for? I just want some new polos and stuff like that.

You're not getting, don't get me something for Christmas. If you got it, return it. I'm just throwing that out there. Let's just not get it.

Let's just not do this. We don't do Christmas. We don't do, see how we don't do Christmas? We do birthdays.

We do birthdays. Phil, we're going to need you to not do Christmas. We do birthdays. We do birthdays.

We do birthdays. I like that he's heavily breathing over that mask. He can't breathe. It has one little hole where my pipe smoker's at.

You're fine. You're fine. My pipe hole. It looks very festive.

It looks very nice. Pandemic Santa. Pandemic Santa. It was on sale.

I couldn't pass it up. It was probably a dollar. It was on sale. Pretty close.

Pretty close. Like, oh, I got to get this. Today only. Pandemic Santa.

All right. You want to jump into the news? Yeah, what happened Sunday, though? I did something.

Football Sunday. Yeah, Sunday. Nothing really crazy. Some shopping and stuff.

What about you? So you just stayed around the house? That was it. We ran some errands on Saturday, then Sunday, actually.

I tried to catch up on the yard work and did some podcast work, and then I was really about it. All right. Are we going to talk about the event coming up here or no? No.

No. Okay. No? I don't know what event you're talking about.

Yeah, I have no idea what he means either. Yeah. Oh yeah, there's no event this month. Jesus.

From the four corners of the world, all the cigar industry news you could possibly need. That's how you get yourself off the shelf, pal. The Cigar Hustler Podcast Report, with Mike Toon. S.

Food and Drug Administration's regulation of online tobacco retailers has come under scrutiny in a new report issued this month. Oh. S. Department of Health and Human Services Office of Inspector General This article found that the FDA issued warnings to online sellers of tobacco and vaping products but did not take any further enforcement actions such as fines or no sell orders for these online retailers.

So, you've been bad. We'll talk to you later. Okay, so what's the problem with that? Well, if they're going to hit you with a violation, it should be some sort of penalty.

How many of them had more than one violation? Let me ask you that. I don't know. Let's get further into the story.

Okay, let's hear. Should be noted, this report talks almost exclusively about an e-cigarette and vaping products, described as electronic nicotine delivery systems, and has never mentioned the word cigar, though it's 29 pages. That said, many cigar retailers have been issued warnings for selling tobacco products to underage buyers, both through in-person and non-face-to-face transactions conducted through the undercover buys. Okay.

Let's see, those purchases of evidence, warning letters, should be noted, FDA sent a letter, doesn't say how many. So here's what's fucked up about all that. The only people that are underage that are sneakily trying to buy cigars are the people of the fucking FDA. Right.

There's no... I couldn't tell you a single fucking person under the age of 18, I don't know one, that wants to smoke a fucking cigar. No. It just doesn't happen.

They're too expensive. Right. That's like Phil said. Yeah, it's like it's fucking, you know...

I will tell you this, and this is what kind of did kind of frustrate me a little bit there, Phil. At the Yardley, the guy wouldn't let me smoke a cigar. I'm trying to think where the Yardley is. Which one is the Yardley?

I was like, hey, so I walked in with my cigar, as I fucking normally do. Is that the one all the way down the left-hand side in the back? No, yeah, sure. Where out back they have a camper and a boat and things that you sit in?

I think so, yeah. You can't smoke outside there? I think I have. Not inside.

No, no. So I sit, so, you know, I politely, so I bring my cigar and I'm always done with it and I'm like alright maybe I should just throw it out so I throw it away and then I ask can I smoke here and he goes no you can't smoke here because the turf is flammable the turf is flammable oh that sounds like complete shit to me no it was Sanford oh yeah I never heard of any place around there that has a patio that you can't smoke at turf is flammable and i'm like but i'm on rocks but okay i'm sitting on the yeah it's right sitting on the rocks but fine i'm like whatever i'm not arguing with the guy you know what i mean like it's not fucking worth it to me whatever and but like he you know he's like no but you know that's why i'm like okay everybody and their mother is fucking vaping right yeah they all vape like they all pull them out of their pockets they're all fucking vaping i'm like son of a Bitch. No flame. This is perfectly fine.

No heat. But I can't smoke the fucking leaves. The vape won't catch the leaves. I can't have the leaves.

They can ingest the chemicals. Right. And spread the chemicals everywhere. But they won't light the turf on fire.

But it's, you know, it's bad for me. I don't know. No, it's bad for the turf. It hurts my feelings.

Yes, it hurts your feelings. I don't fucking know. So it's crazy. Like, how fucking ridiculous is that?

Crazy, crazy. I just wish there was a way that I could sneakily smoke a cigar. Is my kind of idea. You get an electronic cigar?

Electronic cigar. No, no, I don't want electronic cigar. I want to smoke this real cigar. Yeah.

Maybe like a metal tin or something. I could just shove it in my pocket. Giant vape box. And then just fucking let it fucking fester out of my pocket and smoke.

Just grab it and fucking smoke it. Light your pants on fire. Yeah, I'm like, I don't know. I don't know what you're talking about, man.

This is covered. Here we go. Are you a liar, sir? So Turf is not.

You want to be a liar because your pants are on fire. He is a liar. A liar, pants on fire. Because Turf is not flammable.

Turf is not flammable. Maybe his Turf is. I fucking knew it. It's rubber!

No, it's not rubber. Yeah. It would melt a spot of your artificial turf. That's it.

There's fabric turf. We used to sell it when I worked at Builder Square. Dude, that was not fabric turf. No, there was fabric on the back.

I'm just telling you. It had the plastic grass, yes, but the backing was fabric. Look, man. I'm just telling you.

I'm just saying. He just didn't like you. Oh, there's a new game. New point system.

Daddy Yardley? What was his name? Todd. Todd.

Oh, Todd's got it coming for him. Oh, Todd. You know what was weird with Todd is you could tell that Todd is a good guy but like him and I just did not fucking mesh. You know what I mean?

Like there was just not, we were off to a rocky start because I'm not a big drinker, right? So sit down. You didn't spend any money there either? I did spend money there, first of all, I brought my wife.

Yeah, she drinks. " So he's a waiter. Yeah, he's a server. And I said, do you have bottled water?

You know, do you have Pellegrino or anything like that? And he goes, no. Okay. Okay, then a glass.

So there's not. And I said, I guess I'll just have a glass of water. He's like, okay, well, you see that over there? And I'm like, yeah.

Did you point out a water fountain? He said, that's a pitcher over there. You go ahead and you get yourself a fucking cup. He didn't say that.

He goes, there's a glass right over there and you can pour your own water. And I'm like, wow. The fuck? Yeah.

The fuck just happened here? By the way, Todd, you get no tip. Wait a second. But yeah, like, so now I got to go get my own shit?

Like, what the fuck? Because I'm not getting booze? Wow. I'm like, okay.

If you see this lady next to me, she's going to drink a lot of wine. I'm like, okay. All right, Todd. And then I said.

Shamed him. And that was when I asked the cigar question. So we're two for two. We're going to have to rip.

Wow. Right. So, you know, then I'm like, all right, well, let me get a coffee or something. Like, I'm going to fucking buy, you know.

I want him to wait on me. Yeah, I want to be served. I want to be served. I'm going to tip you.

Todd is going to get me something. God damn it, Todd. So I'm like, okay. I would like a virgin scotch and water.

So they have like this cold brew drink. Yes. Right? And one of the contents is nitro cold brew.

Oh. I'm like, fuck yeah. Money, man. I'll take that.

Right. That'll get me going. With booze in it though? No, skip the booze.

Give me the cold brew. No, no, but on the menu it has booze in it. Yeah, there's one with a booze one. So you asked for it without the rum, let's say.

Whatever, yeah, the Baileys and the bullshit. Like, I just want the cold brew. There he go, the pot's over there. So at this point, I feel like Todd and I, you know, things aren't working out well.

So I went up to Todd, I approached Todd. And punched him. No. God damn it, man.

I'm not a violent individual. You're very passionate, Mike. I'm very passionate. You passionately tapped him on the nose.

" Chest bumped him. May I have, uh, may I have a cold brew? You know, nitro cold brew. And he's like, uhhhh.

And that's when I was like, fuck, this is not gonna go well. Truthfully, I don't like you, so no. Do you guys have any nitro? So he asked the bartender, do you guys have nitro cold brew?

He's like, oh no, sorry, we're out of that. I'm like, okay. You're three for three, Todd. I'm like, do you have fucking, do you got coffee?

No, we don't, we don't have coffee. That's what he does, yeah. Yeah, that's pretty much what he said. And I was like, do you have espresso?

No, no, no. " A fucking glass of water, Todd! I looked back like, what the fuck, I just ran through the gamut of fucking attempting to buy everything, bro. Tell you what, Todd, why don't we go through what you have, and see if I, what do you have, non-alcoholic, Todd?

Run through the list for me there, buddy. I got a Coke, I got a Sprite, I give you Shirley Temple. I got the address, we should go there and see if Mikey's picture is up behind the bar. Have you seen this man?

No, do not serve this guy. Do not serve this guy. We should go there every week and order everything that's not alcoholic. Make this man get his own fucking water.

Yeah. So I lit it up, it's not even a patio. It's like open area. Yeah, it's an open area.

Yeah. You should have tipped it over. You should have tipped it over. Hey Todd, the pitcher's empty.

The pitcher's empty. Fill the fucking pitcher. And when they had, these idiots, when they had the pitcher, the fucking lid was sealed tight on it, So when you push it, it doesn't pull water out because there's not, you know, the whole thing. Like it needs air.

So I unscrew it, I fucking set the lid so that it's drawing better. Oh, you're in trouble. Yeah, I totally fucked everybody up in there. Don't you know COVID's around?

Never going back. No, we should always go now. No, we should go all of that. I don't want to sit at Todd's fucking section.

Yeah, is Todd working? We like Todd. Yeah. But Jimmy was amazing at Celery City.

Jimmy's always amazing. I still had a good time at Yardley. You know what? If anything...

You could have called Jimmy on the phone and go, Jimmy, will you bring me a bottle of water? Will you bring me... Well, you have little Jimmy bring me a bottle of water. I'm at the Yardley.

I'm at the Yardley. Todd, I don't get my own water. I don't know. You must be confused.

Thank you, little Jimmy. You must be confused, Todd. Right. Pull some strings.

There's no people there. Look, I still had a great time at Yardley. We sent my own Sanford. And I'm going to tell you.

I sent my own Sanford. We do. We know people there. The Jimmy Mafia.

And I'm going to tell you, you know what? Even though the bickering back and forth with Todd was fucking entertaining for me. I'm sure it was. It was just something to do.

It became a thing. You know, I was like, yeah, I was like, oh, okay, I'll attack, I'll attack Todd. So Tom, so Tom won. So Todd.

Todd. Oh yeah, Todd crushed it. It's 3-0. It's fucking goose egg over here.

We gotta make sure we change the score though. Oh, we gotta go back. I wanna go to Yardley now. It's Saturday.

It's Saturday. Oh, actually, I'm free this weekend. We can go Saturday. Oh.

Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust to use Florida sun-grown tobacco in the new FSG Black Angus Line Cigar. Oh, that's amazing. For one of his new line, Steve Sakat of Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust challenged himself to make an exceptional cigar from the most difficult prime room in Florida's sun-grown tobacco, a varietal that he has admitted hasn't been much of a fan of, regardless of where it has grown. And yet he made a cigar out of it.

He seems to have produced a cigar that met the challenge, as this week he announced that the FSG Black Angus is slated for release in 2023. Okay. Specific details about the cigar still be worked out, as in Facebook posts, Saka said that things like cost and packaging haven't been addressed yet, as he thought such an undertaking might finally be a Rubicon I couldn't cross. After working through 40 blend iterations, Saka presented the final blend to, you know, the guy of the place, and Florida Sun Grown Tobacco earlier this week, the guy gave the blend his approval and the project got the green light to move forward for release at some point next year.

All that has been said about the blend is that it uses the top Corona leaves of the plants, the Lajero of the Lajero, said Saka, noting that it is the... That's the Medio Tiempo Palmer. Clearly, it's different. The Lajero of the Lajero.

This is the best, we had the best, and then we got the best of it. The most robust... Of the tobacco that I don't like, that I made a cigar out of. Right.

Sticky and thick, bursting with oil and FSG flavor. FSG flavor. Oh my. Not good flavor, FSG flavor.

Oh my. In short, I wanted to make a cigar that FSG fans would love, while also that would blow the minds of SSG deniers like myself, Saka wrote. And selfishly, I wanted to go toe-to-toe with all the fantastic, legendary companies with whom he, the guy, has worked and proved I could make not just a substantial addition to the FSG family, but one worthy of possibly being regarded as the best. Sokka added that the project will be extremely limited, one, due to limited amount of what he called FSG King Corona, because there's only the two and a half acres, and noted that the final cigar will not be for the wallet shy.

No shit. " Right, exactly. That anybody would buy it, no matter what it tastes like. No matter what it tastes like.

Alright, now we have a press release. We actually have two versions of this press release. Michael, we have the one that I wrote, and then we have the one that you did something with. So we're going to let the listeners pick which one is better.

Michael. Yes, Michael. What? You're not a nice man.

Riverside Phosphoro goes national with post-take distribution. Yeah. All right, we agree on the title. Fine.

Yes. All right, this is Michael's version now. Oh, he jumped cameras on me. In October, Riverside Cigar Shop of Jeffersonville, Indiana launched its own cigar brand, Phosphoro.

Now, that line will be heading to stores nationwide, thanks to a new distribution deal with Poshik, Inc. While the owners of both Riverside and Poshik are known for their close relationship with Romacraft Tobacco, Phosphoro was actually made at Garmidia Cigar Company. -Garmidia. -Garmidia.

That makes more sense. The same factory behind Rick Rodriguez's West Tampa Tobacco Blends, and Jose, I don't know Jose's last name, Plalacios? Sure. Alright.

Jose Jose of Garmendia, and Jeff Moutet, owner of Riverside Development, developed the blend, which uses an Ecuador and Habano Oscura wrapper over Nicaraguan binder, Nicaraguan fillers from Gundega and Jalapa. Then there's something about the cigars, they got a Corona, a Robusto Toro, and a Gordo. " Okay, we agree on that, too. All right, but, now here's my version.

So that was mine. That was yours. That was yours. That sounded amazing.

It's very dry. Okay. Very dry. Nobody wants to read it.

It's very dry. Everyone wants a zip, huh? No zip. No pizzazz.

No pop. Nothing to it. Keep changing cameras on me. I like that.

Keep it up. Stop the presses. Announcing the biggest merger since Macy met Gimbel, since Arturo met Fuente, since A met J. , joining the family with Powstanie, FQ, Guaymaro, and Fable Cigars.

This move is made to streamline sales, shipping to USA's storage of the Phosphorus Line, and then it goes into the same information that you gave. Oh. I think mine is much better. J.

Everybody does the dull ones. Since Arturo met Puente. Yes. Since Macy met Gimble, Macy and Gimble, and then they go to the cigars.

So, Toro met Fuente, since A met J, A-J singer. Who's Macy and Gimbal? Macy and Gimbal? You don't know who Macy and Gimbal is?

I don't. You ever heard of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade? I have. Your partner's name is Gimbal.

They used to be called Macy and Gimbal. Then they separated. Yeah, bro, that was in like the '60s. Yeah, it was a long time ago, but it was the first big merger in America.

Since five met dime, huh? No, no, no, not five and dime. That's that same thing. No?

No. Macy and Gimbal was one of the first big mergers in America. Okay. I'm sorry, you're very young and uneducated, Michael.

I am very young and uneducated. Public education. I'm very young and uneducated. Public education.

I slept through my entire, all of it. I can't see that. Some made honor roll though. High school's a joke.

Congratulations. All right. Way one say, Toro, Prenciano, Prenciano. I could say this when I got this.

Oh yeah? Prenciano. Prenciano? Prenciano.

Prenciano. Prenciano. Heads to Famous Smoke Shop. Foundation Cigar Company has announced the release of the new limited edition soft box press Toro, And its Huehuensei line is being released exclusively to Famous Smoke Shops or to anyone else who can muscle to buy extra cigars.

The Huehuensei Toro Prensado measures 6-inch long with a 52-inch ring gauge. I wonder if there's a requirement. I don't know. Let's read on and see.

And like the rest of the Huehuensei line, it uses Nicaragua Corojo wrapper, Mexican San Andreas buyer, and fillers from SLE, Jalapa regions in Nicaragua. To indicate that it is an exclusive release to Famous Smoke Shops, the cigar wears a gold secondary band with the store's logo on it, which we can change for anyone who buys six extra boxes of the Coraline. We are pleased to work with such a respectful tobacco. This is a famous smoke shop to craft this beautiful box for a store, said Nick Malillo, founder of Foundation Cigar Company, who went to call the cigar a special compliment of our Way Wednesday line, which can be yours if you buy six more boxes of the Coraline.

Production is limited to 500 boxes of 10 cigars, a total run of 5,000 cigars. We're only shipping half until the minimum buy has been established. Pricing is said at $16 per cigar, $160 per box. When asked who collaborated with on Exclusive Cigar Project, it's no surprise that Foundation Cigar was there, said Mike Klingerman, the famous smoke shop international sourcing and procurement manager.

We know Nick has an immense passion for tobaccos and culture, and how important way one say is to Foundation is a tribute to Nicaraguan Heritage. We are excited to share these cigars with our customers, the way Winsay line debuted in 2015. Specialist and Cigar Company's line getting its name from prominent Nicaraguan folk story, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. All right.

A. I want to try that one. I want to try that cigar. Well, all you can do is buy six more of the core line.

Phil, I'm going to need you to do me a favor. I'm going to need you to run upstairs real quick and get the package that is in the office. Why don't we do this? You got me?

Don't worry, it's gonna work out for you too. I totally forgot this. And I need you, Phil. I need you.

He seems very disappointed. He does. He seems very upset. It's a lot of steps.

It's a lot of steps. It'll be fine, Phil. All right. All right, we'll be back.

All right. Thanks, Phil. All right, Phil. Well, we'll just wait till you get back.

Yeah, we'll just stop. We'll stop the show. Okay. Okay, lock the door.

Lock the door. " and increases prices for 2023. Really? Yes.

We need more. We need more. We need more money. Next year, we'll mark the first times as 2020, Habano's, the Cuban Cigar Conglomerate, will host the Festival de Habano.

Excuse me. Those hoping to attend the week-long celebration of Cuban cigars in Habano should expect to pay noticeably more to attend the various events compared to previous alliterations of the festival. Scott, you gotta let it happen. Well, maybe if time until it gets back, I'll be dead.

Yeah. Okay, welcoming evening. What do you think it cost, Michael, to go to the welcoming party? $5,000.

$500. $500. Visitor Plantations? Visitor Plantation?

$150. Oh, on the nose, nice. International Seminar? $350.

$450. The Evening Party? $700. Exactly.

Did you read this? No, I didn't read it. Visit to the Banos Factories. Visit to the Banos.

This is the budget item for the whole event. $100. There you go. And the Gala Evening White Party.

The Gala? Gala. Gala? Gala.

Gala Evening. Gala. How much is that one? Oh, that's gotta be up.

That's probably $600. $1250. Damn. I was off on that one.

Viaje Holiday Blend returns with a new wrapper, Honey & Hand Grenades, getting Nuva Tola. Can we just talk about the fact that they looked around and said, "You know what? We don't have enough fucking money. " We're just gonna goose the party.

Just fuck it. Right. Record sales this year. You know what?

Let's keep it up. Yeah. Let's finish off the party here. We need a Ferrari for every day of the week.

We need drinking and smoking Ferraris. We need a Monday Ferrari, a Tuesday Ferrari. Phil's calling me. I can't find it.

Phil. All sorts of problems on the show today. Yeah, it's Greg's office. Yep, that's it.

Sounds pretty winded. He's a big man. It is a lot of stares. Okay, there's a new Vitola thing.

No, no, come on, let's go Viaghe. Last year, Mark, the first time since the Viaghe Holiday Blend debuted in 2009, the company did not release a Holiday Blend of Stories. This year, a holiday is returning in two different formats, most notably with a new rapper. However, additionally, the company has shown off a new Vitola for the Honey & Hand Grenade Series.

The Viaje has announced that the Holiday Blend of 5x50 and the Holiday Blend Christmas Tree 4x60 will be in shipping to stores next week. Are we getting those? Yeah, we are, but I feel like they probably should have shipped them already. Like, they're gonna arrive to me December 23rd.

Oh, well, the turkeys came late too. The turkeys did come late. Hmm, don't know what to say. Really kind of missing your mark on this, Andre.

What the fuck? I have it, Andre. Here's a thought. If you're shipping it out of California, You should probably focus on East Coast shipments first.

Yeah, that would make so much more sense. That would make so much more sense, Michael. Yeah. Just saying.

This year marks the first time since 2017 that there has been a Christmas tree release. For those wondering, the company said on Instagram that it would not be released in a holiday blend, Candy Cane. Yes? A barber pole version of the holiday blend.

The barber pole version of the holiday blend. All I have left is a Florida story. Okay. Don't get your face on, Phil.

That's right. Don't give them away. Okay. Palmer.

Thank you, well, we've done our Listener of the Week. Yes, but I still have a Florida store. Okay, well, don't worry. I think it's time.

This is going to, I want to make you happy first. Oh, you're not happy with the $1,500 lighter? No, that's not for you, I have to sell that. Oh, is that for me?

I have to keep our lights on. This is partially for you. Oh. So.

We have cups. So we have our Listener of the Week. Yes, Listener of the Week. Was Chris Baldwin.

Chris, birthday, Baldwin, oh hello, and our shop of the week, shop of the week, they've been a shop of the week before, but you know what, Chris Baldwin, oh sorry, they've been a shop of the week before, but the fact of the matter is that, he's a good guy, even though he's a good guy too, even though he's a good guy too, even though, the one in the cabin, the one in the cabin, boss cigars, boss cigars, no, not them either, our dear friend Brett Fry, oh Brett Fry, of Tobacology, Tobacco, Chology, Listener of the Week. Listener, no. Oh, sorry, Shop of the Week. Shop of the Week.

Gone. Has gone ahead and... Oh, we have the Fratellos! Yeah, sent us Fratellos.

Oh, a lot of Fratellos. Yeah, so... A bag for everyone? Oh, there's two of each.

Oh, Phil, I don't know, Phil. Doesn't look good. Maybe I'll have to include you in this, obviously, Phil. Oh, Brett.

There's the Texan. Oh, Brett. The Texan is gigantic. It's gigantic.

Oh, Brett. That's what she said. I think he just went ahead and fucking hooked us up with every single state. Randy is happy, Brett.

So. Randy is very happy. So, boom. The Fratellos.

You know, I was gonna go to ABC tomorrow and look for the Florida one. And look at this. You don't have to. Look at this.

Oh. Oh, Fratello Ashtray. We got so many goodies today. I'm very excited.

Fratello Ashtray. Oh, he wrote on there. Sweet Tip Tabacology Exclusive. Oh, nice.

This is, dude. Oh, you are included, Phil. Oh. Fratello, Texan.

Look at this. Nevada, Inverso, Churchill, Tobacco Allure. This thing's huge. Dude, my guy fucking, wow, he came through hardcore, fucking box of the Floridians.

Wow. Wow. Is it signed? And the DMV.

Oh. Dude. Nice. Wow.

Oh, very happy. How do we respond from this? We send him nothing, right? We sent him nothing at all.

So thank you, Carter. Nothing. We sent him nothing. Thanks so much.

Thank you. Yeah. Maybe give him like a promotion code. Let's send Phil.

Cigar house or something. Let's send Phil. Oh, where's that? Phil, drive down and drive up to Tobacology.

Where's that? It's where the man with the hat and then the pappy with the guy that likes the shoes. I think it's Virginia. Oh, Virginia Beach is where you used to be.

Oh, I love that. I mean, that's where boots used to be, not Phil. Yeah, Leesburg. Yeah, he used to visit him.

But he's like, now he's become like, quite the, um, the, like, this fucking, he's got like four shops now. Oh, I know, he's quite the, he's out running these streets. Are you gonna call him, thank him, or just thank him on? There's Hay, Tobacology Haymarket, and Haymarket, and Manassas.

Manassas, Manassas, Manassas. Uh, there's one that says Leesburg Cigar and Pipe. Oh, Leesburg, that's not far, you can run up there. Oh, Leesburg, Leesburg, Florida, he's always there.

Yeah, he's always there, yeah. Yeah, so wow, I mean holy shit. He kind of looks like the guy from Smoke on the Water. Daniel?

Daniel. I guess to some degree, because he's tall? Tall and he got a beard. He got a long beard though.

He got a long beard. Oh, that's true. You know, I call Brett, if I FaceTime Brett, within 30 seconds we're laughing about something fucking hilarious. He's a very funny man.

We were talking about one time he was bringing off, he was bringing, what the fuck are they called, Cinnabons to somebody? Yeah. And he was debating if he should eat one of the Cinnabons and just let them know, hey, whatever, you got five instead of six, so fucking fuck off. Sure, I mean, they're getting free ones.

And I get it. I understand. I mean, but you know what, you didn't necessarily have to eat the entire Cinnabon, just eat the center of one. Oh, just the taste.

Yeah, just, well, the center's the best part. Well, if it touches the floor or it's around for two days, you can have one. You could take the middle out and you could turn it a little and they might not notice. You want to Patreon this?

Let's Patreon this. No, we have to do Skip Cigar today. Oh shit, that's right. For God's sake, do Skip Cigar, please.

Be in contempt. I can't take another hateful texting. It's gonna get five stars. I don't know.

We don't know. We don't know. It could go either way. It's a coin flip at best.

I've never had it before. I don't even know what it's called. Who knows? Yes.

That's how the night's text message started. You didn't review my cigar? Yeah. I'm glad you didn't die.

Oh, and I do? Okay, Florida story. Florida story. The lawless swamp that we all live and love in.

Not for the weak. Florida is not for the weak. No, no, it's not for the weak at all. Oh, and I heard the true story about how the crocodile hunter died today.

He got stung with the thing. Yeah, but the story is he got hit once and then he pulled it out and died? Yeah. That's not true.

Oh. We can do that if we have time. A Florida homeowner finds a large... Are we at an hour?

We gotta be at an hour. We're at 52 minutes. A Florida homeowner finds a large... I mean, there's a lot of dead air on this one.

You think so? A Florida homeowner finds a large albino snake in the backyard. Florida is known for its invasive Burmese pythons. Burmese pythons.

But this reptile was a surprise to even a seasoned trapper. Rhett Stanberry and Taylor Stanberry, who wrangles snakes. Bro, I'm just hitting that thing with a 22 and not fucking around. A 22 wouldn't kill it too big.

A 22 would kill that thing. 22 would kill that thing. Have you shot it right in the head? You're not that good a shot.

22. You're not that good a shot. First of all, you don't know that. Sure, I do.

No, you don't. I've been shooting with you. No, you haven't. Yes, I have.

When? When we went with Skip. I didn't shoot with Skip. You did two shoot.

We all shot. When? With Skip. In Austin?

Yes, at the Boogie Club. In the range? Yes. That might be true.

Let's see. I mentioned last weekend when you broke the gun. I didn't break the gun. Yeah, the thing on the end.

You broke the silencer thing. Oh, when the silencer exploded? Yeah. How would I have broken that?

You were the one who shot it when it exploded. Did I? Yes. I don't think so.

I feel like you were. No, I didn't even shoot that gun. Because you broke it. Did I shoot that gun?

Yes. Are you sure? I only shot the target pistol. I don't think I shot that gun.

Yeah. I have a terrible memory. Last weekend from a homeowner in Naples about a huge python in the backyard in the Miami Herald reported that Stanberries were skeptical at first, but when the homeowner contacted them around the second time, The lion's python contractors with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Division drove to the residence to take a look after arriving to Stanbury's release the snake was not a python, but an albino boa constrictor that measured nearly nine and a half feet long. You ain't gonna miss that fucking thing, it's ten foot.

The couple documented their experience on their YouTube account. You never know what you'll find in South Florida, said Rhett Strawberry. I ain't YouTubing it, I'm just shooting that fucking thing and throwing it in the garbage. The boa was a non-venomous snake found in tropical South America and Central America.

It doesn't belong here. 6 pounds. I almost didn't think it was real, said Rhett. It's gotta go.

That is the fattest boa constrictor I've ever seen. " Is that, oh, that sounds like Stan. That's Taylor. Rhett Stanberry initially thought the snake was docile, but was wrong.

"The boa was just as offensive as a wild Burmese python," he wrote on Facebook. " Oh, you know what, maybe I wouldn't then, so it eats a cat. Camouflage in the wild, staying in the FNC affiliate of the Herald Report, Stanberries hold a Class III license with the FWC, which allows possession of a non-domestic animal. We're putting this girl on a dot.

She's already a manie, so I'm sure she's gonna get even manier when she's hungry. So, wait a second. What? They're keeping the snake?

Yes. Nice. They catch them for free. I don't think they get paid.

They keep the snake. And then they'll sell it later, and then somebody will release it again, and then they go and catch it again. Yeah, see, they should have just ended it by shooting it. No, no, they can't.

You gotta shoot it. Why? Because. Why are you killing all the animals, Michael?

Because I'm the top of the food chain. That's what I'm supposed to do. Michael, the world's like a big airplane. Is it?

All the animals and the people on it are little nuts and bolts that hold the plane together. Okay. As you start knocking these species off, the nuts and bolts start falling off. Eventually, the world's gonna collapse.

Is that how that works? That's right. Interesting. Hmm, that's a hell of a take on things.

That's my version. Well, who killed the dinosaurs? Did you kill the dinosaurs? We're talking two of us.

Oh, there you go. Did you kill the dinosaurs? No, but I heard a thing about that too today. No, no, no.

Were they on the plane? Wait, hold on. You're supposed to talk about Erwin here. I am going to talk about Erwin next.

Yeah. Let's say with the dinosaurs, let's say there wasn't a meteor that hit the earth, but a giant UFO and we're the aliens. Oh, God. And it was the dinosaurs' world to start with.

I mean, that's relatively practical. Like the meteor had us, like the bacteria or something, and then we turned in, and we formed it. Okay, Steve Irwin now. Steve Irwin had a deal with his cameraman.

No matter what happens, you always film it. Even if I die, you film it. Oh, wow. So there's actual video footage of the entire thing that's never been released to the public.

Okay. But when he was on the... For 1995, I could see this? No, no, he's never been released to the public.

It won't be released to the public. It's never gonna be released. Oh. But the thing stabbed him over and over, not just the one time.

So it hit him like 15, 20 times in the chest. He stood up in the waist-deep water, and he had a two-inch slice across his heart, and he said, "This isn't gonna be good," and then he fell down. " Wow. So, yeah, those were the, you know...

Crikey. Right, so... Now that we're all sad... Because they flicked the tail, and then the thing goes up, so he couldn't get out of the way fast enough, and he just kept going...

Do we ever find the stingray? They ate it. Who ate it? You can't do that because there's like nuts and bolts on a plant, bro.

No, they didn't kill all the stingray, just the one. No, it swam away. His name was Cliff. It was swimming.

They were shooting footage for his daughter's animal show on Discovery Channel. And he was watching it and he was swimming after it as it was leaving and it got pissed off and went and killed him. Isn't that crazy? I don't know all the animals he messed with.

Yeah, innit? That was the one. That was the one. That was like Dale Earnhardt.

It just kind of went into that wall. Didn't look like much. Right. That's all it takes.

Thanks for making me cry today. I'm here for you. Yeah. That's all it took?

That's all it takes. All it takes. Yeah, we trust. Did you guys watch, speaking of dead people, did you watch Yellowstone?

No. I did. No. I did watch it.

I watched it this morning. Yeah. It was good. You think it was good?

It didn't further the story along much except for the part with the guy and the girl. Spoiler alert! Spoiler alert! Except the part with Jamie.

That's the only thing that sort of meshed the story a little further along. I mean, for fuck's sake, I need some people to get shot or something. Just like... Oh, well that's the thing now, didn't you see?

Now they're gonna try to kill him again. Or, well, they're gonna try to impeach him. Right, yeah. I saw the previews and impeach him.

Not gonna happen. Yeah. But now Jamie's a bad guy again this season. He was a bad guy last season.

Huh. And can that lady get that thing on her face removed? Did you see that? You know what?

Brittany said the same thing. I'm like, jeez. What is that? She's a beautiful woman, obviously has lots of money.

Get that thing taken off! Well, it's like Seal with the scars. It's not a scar, though. It's one of those little bump things.

You know, like Seal had that disease, and he just kept his face like that. That was a disease, though. Not just a little... Maybe it's a disease.

Not even a beauty mark. It was like a big wart on the side of her face. No, that's Fred. Fred.

Yeah, she named it. You didn't see it when she had the makeup on, that didn't even show it before, but she wakes up first thing in the morning, and boom, oh, there it is. Wow. Now you're like, dah.

And they're like, oh, get that thing removed, what's her problem? What's her problem? You're a beautiful woman, doesn't look good in underwear. Well, thank you very much, Brett Frye, at Tobacology for the gifts.

She's standing there in her underwear, she didn't look good, not enough meat on her. Thank you for the gifts, Jesus. I appreciate you. No, no, thank you for that, obviously, Brett, yes.

If you contact the actress. Oh, I ain't laughing. Throw this guy. Contact the actors on Yellowstone and you could pay for that thing to be a roofer.

Really appreciate that too. And buy her a sandwich for God's sake. Maybe you can send her a box so she can bash herself. So I know nothing about these by the way.

These? They're cigars. Pratello makes exclusive cigars for different states. And in Florida you can only get it at ABC.

Only at ABC. Only at ABC. The largest cigar seller in the state of Florida. Not anymore.

That's right. One box here. Nice. So every state, only Florida sells ABC, so all the other states they sell at other cigar shops.

I'm guessing. Hmm. Hmm. Okay.

Does he, he must know him really well, huh? He handles his distro. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah.

Oh. Yeah. Omar? Omar?

Omar. Omar the rocket scientist. Omar the, the ghost shooter. The.

We're gonna hang out. Seven foot tall. Rocket scientist. All right.

And an ashtray. That's a nice ashtray. DMV. I never heard of that one.

Those are Virginia. Oh. Which would make sense because that's where he is. Oh, that would make completely sense, yes.

12 Fratello DMV. Hey, ready to wrap this thing up? I feel good about this one. Your meeting upstairs starts in 25 minutes.

I'm glad to have you back. Thank you. It's glad to be back. I'm glad that you lived.

Thank you. That seems to be the sentiment. You know, I did have your affairs in order with the attorney, though, in case things... You know what, when I was watching Yellowstone this morning, and something did cross my mind, if I get put into hospice, it's your job to make sure I don't die at hospice.

I don't want to die in hospice. What is that supposed to mean? I'm going to need a little more detail. You know what hospice is?

Yeah, but that means that you're dying. Right, right, there's nothing else anybody can do. So what am I supposed to, like smother you the pillow? Like, what do you want me to do?

No, no, just take me out, take me home, take me to your house, I don't care, as long as I don't die in hospice. Do you want to die? I don't want to die in hospice. I watched my dad do that.

It's very depressing. I don't want to do that. Okay. You want me to lay you under a tree?

Sure. You can lay me under a tree. I don't care. Take me to the beach and prop me up in a chair and then just walk away.

Just like that? Yeah, that's fine too. I don't care. As long as it's not in one of those depressing where people go to die.

What if you get thirsty? I'm dying. Who cares? I would like to make sure you have some water.

Okay. Put a glass of water in my hand. Put a Camelback on me. Stick the hose in my mouth.

Camelback. So, Beach, Camelback, anything else? Just not in hospice. What about your favorite food?

What's your favorite food? I'm going to be dying, I don't want to eat. No, you don't want to taste it around the last time. I don't want to eat, stick us a garment.

Before my dog died, I gave her a piece of steak. Reese's fast break. Reese's fast break? I don't like those, that's him.

That's what he wants. What do you want? I don't want any food. He drinks.

I don't want any food. So, you want a peanut butter? Peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I was going to say the peanut butter bourbon shit that you drink.

Oh, screwball. Yeah, screwball. Screwball. I am looking for the Screwball Holiday Eggnog, I just want to try it.

Yeah. Sounds disappointing. It's probably going to, but I don't want to try it though. We had Eggnog at Publix on Sunday when we went grocery shopping.

Apparently it's Sunday at Publix, they put snacks out like Costco. Yeah, it's a taste test. Oh, I know what it is for, but we don't normally do our shopping on Sundays. They've been doing that for years.

I don't go. We're shopping as a pleasure. All right. Junior, the Eggnog guy, did not have any room.

I asked several times. You're supposed to bring your own anyways. He said he did the best he could. You know, let's talk about eggnog makes me want to get eggnog.

Yeah, I want eggnog. 'Tis the season. So I'll probably buy a half gallon or I'll take a swig of it and then we'll throw the rest of it away. Because that's how we fucking roll.

Oh, nice. All right. What are we going to do with this hashtray? In the middle of the table.

Maybe we give it away. Oh. We sign it and give it away. Oh.

After the first of the year. Okay. After we use it. It was a grand opening.

Slightly used. Slightly used. One slightly used. This is a nice ashtray.

Isn't it? Well, we can keep it for the show. No, I like to give stuff, by the way. I mean, he's very generous, and then we'll say, and we'll, you know, we'll put Brett Fry's cell phone number on there.

Oh! All right. Call Brett, tell him thank you. I have Brett Fry's cell number.

Yeah. It shouldn't be hard. No. That's me and his phone number Randy.

Yeah. Randy. Randy. All right, this has been episode 258.

Not like last week when he said it was 258. That was actually 257. Of the Cigar Hustler Podcast. It's not 259 now?

Nope, it's 258. Okay. All right, say goodbye, Michael. Goodbye, Michael.

Goodbye, Michael. Goodbye, Michael. Goodbye. The Cigar Hustlers Podcast, its owners, and its sponsors take no responsibility for the opinions or statements made by the talk show host or their guests.

Statements or show topics are not necessarily the beliefs of Mike & Mike Productions or the podcast providers, and opinions between talk show hosts may differ. It is not our intention to libel, incite, or hurt anyone's feelings. We invite you to write the show's host, Mike Szczevankewicz, with any feedback or suggestions that you have for their shows. These broadcasts are presented and made public as entertainment in the hope that they will be entertaining to the audience.

This has been a Cigar Hustlers podcast, a Mike and Mike production. m. for all new episodes. Hi, I'm doing, I'm Hoostoe-Raw.

Yeah, we just don't have to do a single, uh, single podcast ever again. Perfect. I'm good, Mike and Mike. How are you guys doing?

The Hojo, the... Hojo! It's the Hojo! You didn't even let him fuck it up all the way.

I'm gonna get past Hojo! I don't even have to try it. He's not even gonna try. We're gonna cover a lot of ground here, Mike.

All right. Try to keep up. That's a sign of a good podcast. It would be like four cigars when I walked in the door.

Alright, end this.

Show Notes

Not one but two unboxing for the show!  Phil gets his Holiday Outfit and a Special Birthday Phone call and the usual news from around the world!!