Cigar Hustlers Podcast Episode 330 Mrs. Szczepankiewicz

Episode Summary

Episode 330 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast flips the usual format: co-host Mike "Mikey" Szczepankiewicz is traveling in Central America, so his wife Brittany Szczepankiewicz sits in the studio with Mike "BDP" Palmer in Deltona, Florida — and Mikey has no idea she's there until he's called on video.

The first half is a live check-in with Mikey from the RoMa Craft Tobac operation in Estelí, Nicaragua, where he's staying after a day and a half in San Juan del Sur. He walks the guys through hunting for a room with usable Wi-Fi at Skip Martin's place, the five-hour drive from San Juan del Sur to Estelí over a chaotic "third world highway," and the odd experience of being dropped at the Costa Rica/Nicaragua border and walking across on foot to meet a driver on the other side. On the cigar side, he reports smoking a new test blend of the Warbear and a new SBC sample, and teases what he's working on at the factory: solidifying the Warbear for the year, a possible Fomorian (FTC) release rather than another two-year hiatus, and a new Coralline blend — all against the backdrop of the brand's 10-year anniversary.

The second half is a light-hearted, rapid-fire interview with Brittany, who answers a set of questions she saw in advance about life with Mikey: his superpower (unbridled anger, plus Hulk-level strength), the constant flexing in every reflective surface, the broken robot vacuum that ended his floor-cleaning career, the dish-towel-and-avocado hand-wiping, and the Tupperware full of chicken juice in his backpack. She details the wellness routine she quietly maintains for him — cold plunge, hot box, red light therapy, CPAP, protein powder, beetroot powder and a week's worth of supplements pre-portioned into little bags — plus the creepy voices and music he plays all night to sleep.

The episode wraps with Phil's Fun Facts on tobacco cultivation and weed control, Brittany's Shop of the Week pick (Smoke on the Water), and a detour into the Szczepankiewicz household's toy-filled great room and the beautiful front door that has never actually worked.

In This Episode

1. 01
   Cold open: surprise co-host
   Brittany Szczepankiewicz joins BDP Palmer in the studio without Mikey knowing, setting up a video call ambush.
2. 02
   Live from Estelí, Nicaragua
   Mikey calls in from the RoMa Craft facility, wandering room to room hunting for decent Wi-Fi and sound.
3. 03
   Crossing the border on foot
   The story of being dropped at the Costa Rica–Nicaragua border, walking across alone, and the long drive from San Juan del Sur to Estelí.
4. 04
   Factory work: Warbear, Fomorian and Coralline
   Mikey teases a new Warbear test blend and size, a possible Fomorian release this year, and a new Coralline blend during the brand's 10-year anniversary.
5. 05
   Phil's Fun Facts: tobacco cultivation
   Phil covers how labor-intensive tobacco farming is, its heavy nitrogen use, and the limited weed control options that force repeated cultivation.
6. 06
   Interview with Brittany: life with Mikey
   Superhero powers, Gladiator comparisons, constant flexing, the broken vacuum and the dirty dish towel.
7. 07
   The wellness routine she actually runs
   Cold plunge, hot box, red light therapy, CPAP, protein shakes and a week of pre-bagged pills and powders.
8. 08
   Shop of the Week and household chaos
   Brittany picks Smoke on the Water, then the crew detours into the toy-packed great room and a front door that has never opened properly.

Brands & Cigars Discussed

Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.

Transcript

B. B. B. " Welcome to Cigar Hustlers Podcast, Episode 330, recorded live at the Mike & Mike Production Studios in Deltona, Florida.

This is Cigar Hustlers Podcast, the show where two guys, or one guy, one girl, share their passion for cigars, business, and life. Join Mike/Britney, the Queen, Stepankiewicz, and his co-host Mike, BDP Palmer, as they talk about the latest cigar news, reviews, tips, And interviews some of the most influential people in the cigar industry. And me, I'm their engineer and sound tech, Phil. Whether you're a seasoned aficionado or a curious beginner, this podcast is for you.

Sit back, relax, and line up a cigar with Cigar Oster's Podcast. Very casual, Phil, today. Casual. Welcome to the Cigar Oster Podcast, a show brought to you commercial-free, but a massive shout-out to our amazing patrons on the Patreon.

Thank you for your unwavering support. We're able to deliver unfiltered, unbiased opinions on all things cigars and personalities in the cigar world. Your backing makes it possible for us to keep it real for our listeners. Cheers to you.

com and search A Cigar Hustlers Podcast. Try to get through that quick. All right, we're going to call Mikey now. We've got, go to two.

We've got the lovely Brittany Stefan Kevich here today, and he has no idea she's going to be on the show. So, it's... No idea. No idea.

Would you say it's our podcast, or would you say it's yours? It's mine. It's hers. See, it's a family thing.

Oh, this is a nice shot. This is nice. Can we see him on the video? No, we won't see him.

You should put a cool picture. I'll put up a nice picture. There he is! Hello, Michael.

Hello, Michael. Can you center yourself? This is awkward. I can't see you.

Nobody else can see you either. Is he in the tub? Are you in the tub? Boots wants to know.

I'm in the tub. It sounds like you're in the tub. That was a totally different hotel. There's no tubs here.

I'm actually sitting in like the front room, uh, where Romo Craft has everything on display. Very echoey. Mm, echoey. Oh, they have their, their own Four Seasons hotel.

Yes, yes, the Romo Craft Four Seasons. Nice. Okay. Well, let me move to another room.

You gotta move to another room. Find something a little less. The Wi-Fi is excellent, so if you could... Same Wi-Fi, better sound quality.

If that's possible. Because Skip does not sound like this when he does shows. No, he sounds perfect. Skip sounds good.

Oh, and he does it. Did you fall down? What was that noise? The Wi-Fi is getting worse.

Oh, man. Does he still have the scooter? No? No, no.

He's on two feet. Oh. How's that? Say something else.

How's that? That's better. A little better, yeah. A little better.

Now where are you? There's a lot of boxes behind you. Start filling the pockets! He's in the closet.

I'm in the 80s. Wi-Fi's worse. You're lagging. Wi-Fi's worse.

Sound is better. We asked for same Wi-Fi, better sound. I'm going back to the other room. Doesn't Skip have a sound room for this type of stuff there?

Sure. Sure he will. No. You're going to have to deal with that.

How about Jason? Ask Jason where he goes. Who's Jason? Who's...

I'm not sure. I got the name wrong, apparently. Yeah, you do. You mean Alex?

Yeah, that guy. Yeah, Alex. Ask Alex. Jason used to work there.

I don't remember who Jason is. No, Jason does work there. He's a new guy. Jason's a new guy.

You haven't met him yet? No, no, he's the guy that Mikey doesn't like because he didn't do the interview. He didn't do the interview. Oh, he's not there.

Yeah. Or Jeff. How's it? Ah, you know, we'll take what we can get, I guess.

Yeah. It is fun just watching you walk around, though. Yes. Would you like to be introduced to this week's guest?

Perfect. Yeah. Okay. Congratulations, Michael.

Hey! I just can't say, I'm up. No expense. I'm about...

No expense. I'm about... No expense. I'm about...

No expense. No expense. I'm about... No expense.

I'm about, I'm about to do the podcast, I just texted. Oh, we were afraid you were going to call, he was not going to answer. No wonder why the kids have to go to school. Yes, well, Jax is next door.

Yeah. Rating the root beers. Yes, they're delicious. Yeah, he's not feeling well, so I'm sure that, you know, those would go over perfect.

It must affect his volume in speaking because he's very low talking today. Oh, he's trying to spell it. Yeah. So, what's been going on?

Here, you can tell your wife. Hi. You have to talk, Brittany. It's a sound.

What is a sexy podcast that she has on? Oh, thank you very much. Or were you telling her about me? You traded that?

No, no, talking to me. No, no, no. Tell me about you. So, we just landed in Costa Rica, was at San Juan D'Ocer for a day and a half.

Drove up to Escoli last night, smoked the new test plane on the War Bear, smoked the new SBC last night. Wait, wait, wait, you're going too fast. You're going too fast. Get back to staying at Skip's house.

This sounds like a dream. Okay, go on. I'm listening. Was there a guest room, or did you have Fiorella's room?

I believe it was Fiorella's room. Was the bed extremely small, like at the house in Texas? No. What?

Yeah, I had to sleep, she had a, when I was there, she had a children's size bed, so I- Like a toddler bed? Yeah, I got the toddler bed. Oh. Oh.

Michael got the king size in the adjoining room. Naturally. Well, he's bigger. He's not that bigger.

But it's fine. Go ahead. What'd you have for dinner? Uh, last night I had a cheeseburger.

There'll be an Instagram video for that, I will post that. Oh. Good. I got the footage.

But there's a cool, there's a good steakhouse here that we ate at. And the night fryer... Is that where the ashtray picture came from? Yes.

Ah, the salsa in the ashtray? Was that salsa? No. Oh, what was in the ashtray?

No, no, it was red, it was some type of red liquid. In the ashtray? Yeah. No, I think it was just the design in the ashtray.

Oh, it was just a red bottom? Oh. Yeah. That deal would get too good today.

Yeah. I didn't red light this morning, I was very busy. No red light. No red light today, I was very busy.

But I did yesterday, so I'm a day ahead. I'm a day ahead. Crushed it, right. Crushed it.

So that went well. So how was the smuggling from Costa Rica over to San Juan del Sur? Yes. It was very interesting.

I was dropped off and I had to walk off the border. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, back up, back up, back up, back up. Did Mute drive across the border and you weren't allowed in the car? Of course.

No, there was a driver. Ah, so the two of you were let out? No, the driver dropped me off there, and I walked off. Oh, by yourself?

Yeah. And then Mouté picked you up on the other side? Mouté is not here, another driver picked me up. Oh, so the Mouté thing didn't work out?

No, no Mouté. No Mouté. Did they put a blindfold on you? No.

No blindfolds. Was it hard to clench your ass to keep the drugs in as you crossed the border? I've heard that can be difficult. Dude, you don't want to mess around with that shit here.

It doesn't last a lot. I've crossed Chinese borders. Yeah, it's not fun at all. No.

The walking part is a little unnerving, I have to admit. Yeah. The semi-truck line is like, it's two days long in order to get in from one test to the other. Two days?

Yeah. Look. Yeah. That's the Chinese border.

Yeah, that's the workaround. The Chinese border is where your brother got taken in the back room and disappeared for about 15 minutes. Well, he asked for that. He might have.

I don't know. There's like nothing I can do. I'm just going to keep going. You know, you guys let me through a little too fast.

You might want to check me. I need a story for later. Can you check that again for me, please? Right.

Did you type in the name right? It's got a lot of consonants in it. I'm going to need you to go deeper. Deeper.

Oh, Lord. Okay, so you crossed the border and got picked up by another random guy. Was that guy waiting for you? Did he have a sign or something?

Or did you just pick a driver? Mr. Stepankevich. Yeah, that guy was waiting for me.

Just like Vegas, we always wanted that, remember? Senor Stepankevich was written on the sign? No. Oh.

Senor Mike. Was there two signs? It's a long name. No, the person at the airport and Michael Joseph.

Oh. Oh. Middle name. Alright.

They couldn't spell the last one. The name is Michael Joseph Stepankiewicz, what? Kay? No bueno.

Michael Joseph, we go with that. The problem with the remote podcast is that you can talk over me and it can't threaten you. You can still threaten me, it just doesn't mean anything. He's starting to melt.

I can see it in his face. He's starting to melt down. He's gonna lose his shit soon. Go ahead, Michael.

Well, elaborate on your story. You're leaving out a lot of good details. I mean, I'm trying to, but you keep fucking talking over me and it's impossible. Well, you went from landing at the airport to the factory, all in the same sentence.

Yeah, because that's where the cigar part happened. You saw the sunset. Oh, nice. Yeah, oh yeah, I saw the sunset, Skip.

Ah, lovely. And the sunrise. I sent pictures to my wife. This is what happens.

Like, I try and send pictures to my wife so that, you know, she can appreciate these things, because I wish she was here with me. And instead, I get five things. Oh, it must be nice. You never need a sunset with me.

Was it from the pool? I heard you put on your bathing suit. What's up on your bathing suit? Ooh.

I did put on my bathing suit. It was not from the pool. Oh. Yeah.

That's when you found the... Yeah, that's when you found the gift? Yes. Yeah.

Which I will be placing the gift here. You'll what? I'll hide it somewhere. Thank you.

Yeah. Leave it there at the factory somewhere. Yeah. In the smoking room or somebody's office or something.

No, it's gonna go over the display room. Oh, okay. Perfect. Not on the nightstand?

No, he's staying in a hotel. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah. So, who lives in the apartment there now at the factory?

Greg was just telling me that Skip doesn't live there anymore. They rented it. Oh, I thought it was like over the factory. No, you know, that's funny because we were having a conversation.

When are you going to come down to me? Me? Yeah, you. Oh, I don't know.

Whenever I don't have to be smuggled across the border, I guess. Yeah, you should come. You should come. Maybe when your family goes, I'll go too.

Oh, wow. Brittany was telling me how much he's looking forward to that. I think realistically, what would probably happen is, if I go through two sets of trips, I would do, just like, San Juan to surf for a weekend. And I was talking to Brittany about just going with her and leading kids.

Oh! With who? He'll be with us. We'll go stay at your house with the killer dogs and the butt checker dog.

Oh God. I can see your face pretty. Oh my God. Close it to the microphone.

Sorry, sorry. There you go, there you go. I don't know, we'll have to see, I'd love to make a trip down there. That's not what you just said.

Shh, it's for the show. We were just for the show. Oh, sorry, sorry. Over 50, being smuggled.

Sounds like a real candidate for a sexual slave. Last trip I ever make a parent. White hair, pale, yeah, I'll blend in. I'll escape, run out in the city, still find me.

I'll see Palmer on the corner later. Fake in Spanish, putting an "O" on the end of every word. Hello-o. Hello-o.

What's really kinda crazy about the trip from San Juan De Soto to Estonia is only 180 miles, it's almost 5 hours. A lot of dirt roads? This is a lot of traffic and fuckery. So crazy.

Motorpatrols, Traffic Checks? There's a lot of police. A lot of police. Great.

So it's not like a highway? It is, but what happens is the highway has... It's a third world highway. It's a third world highway.

It has motorcycles on it, like third bikes and shit, and then what happens is people will pass you and then they'll just slow down right in front of you, like a one-way road. So, those jobs get crazy. That sounds like you driving. Sounds like China.

Do they have horns on the bikes and motorcycles? That's big in China, with the beep, beep, beep, beep! Yeah. Yeah, that's annoying.

Alright, so now you're at the factory and everything's safe? It's easier to get back from there to the airport, I heard? Uh, well, driving to Managua is a sort of trip from that to me, that area. Gotcha.

And I'm in that country, and so, you know, yeah, that'll knock on wood, that should go, okay, um, yeah, you know, the hotel's a little hotel, it's, uh, it's different, it's just a different world here, man, I don't know how to explain it, but it's a totally different world. And, um, you know, there's like three restaurants you can eat at. That one looked nice from last night, from the photo with the ashtray without the saws in it. That looked like a decent place.

Yeah, that's like one of the three. Is that where you got the hamburger? Yes. Are you guaranteed it was beef, or could it be something else?

Oh, no, it was definitely beef. Just curious. You got a hamburger at the stand, please? What?

You got a hamburger at the stand, please? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we ate at this place in San Juan, the search on street cafe, and it was really nice.

And I had a steak that night, and I had like this, they have like a cheese here, and I was pretty bound up, so I was looking for something with a little more grease, to get things done, to get a little more flowy, to get a little more flowy, to get a little more regular. Are they North American toilets there? Uh, no. What do you mean?

Like the toilets are, but you're not supposed to flush toilet paper down the toilet. Yeah, well I assume that from Skip's story about Buster eating the dirty toilet paper. Yeah. Yeah.

But at the Hex Hotel you can use your flushing. Oh, gotcha. It's more the sitting and the flushing, I don't care where the paper goes. It's like in China sometimes there's just a hole and you put a foot on either side and you gotta squat.

No, there's three actual toilets. Actual toilets, gotcha. Well that's good to know. So far it sounds like a lovely trip.

Was that China or were you remembering Vietnam? Both. Vietnam there's no porcelain, it's just the dirt. Go ahead, Michael.

It is a lovely ship, man. It's cool. You know, it's important to be here to see what's going on in both self-production. All right.

Sure. I understand why you're there. I mean, that makes complete sense. Yeah.

So, you know, all that stuff is always fascinating. And then, you know, Alex is down here, so I have to use him. He's now circling close to the vicinity. Oh, so what are you working on today, or this week, or this trip, or whatever?

Uh, well, I'm trying to solidify, uh, the Warbear, uh, okay, uh, possibly an FTC for this year. Oh! Not the two-year hiatus. Not the two-year hiatus.

And then, uh, we're working on a new, uh, new blend, a new Coraline blend that they're probably produced. Oh. What's the, uh, what's the new Warbear? So we're talking all of those things.

Go ahead. What's the new Warbear work? What's the new Warframe? Is it going to be a different size, another box press?

Is it going to be a burger bowl? It's going to be a different size, it's going to be the same one. It's going to be a different size, it's going to be cool. This one's been 10 years, so this one's going to be pretty bad.

Gotcha. I normally tell you what's going to happen. Big year. Yeah.

Oh yeah, the 10 year anniversary. I can't believe it's been 10 years. It's crazy. It's crazy.

Fly by. So, what else is going on? We have an interview scheduled with Brittany. We can't, uh, So, we can't be talking to you all day.

Oh, okay. That's it. That's it? Am I okay with this interview?

I'm not sure. I'm not asking. She's seen all the questions prior to the interview. If that makes you feel any better at all.

That does not make me feel any better. I wasn't sure. I just thought I'd throw that out. Okay.

All right. Does Alex Jason want to say hello? No, he just walked away. Oh, okay.

Goodbye, Alex Jason. We can't see the video. I was going to say, can you walk us through the factory, but it doesn't matter. No video.

No, I'll put up some videos, so I'll build some things. I just built an Instagram reel for the trip over here, which is pretty good. Oh, something cap-cutty? Something very cap-cutty.

Good, excellent. We love those here. Yeah. All right, well...

Go ahead. No. Oh, yeah. Would you like to say anything to your lovely wife?

I love you and I miss you. Love you and miss you too. I love you and miss you too, if it matters. I love you and miss you too.

Greg's upstairs doing nothing, just so you know where you're going. Super busy. Super busy. He did go see Island Jim over the weekend.

Oh yeah? He didn't sell anything. Of course he did. Oh good.

Right. Basically, he went to St. Augustine for the weekend. Yeah.

He went to the store where they sell islands. That could be the way the story goes, I'm not sure. I just asked him if he bought anything, and he said no. " All right.

All right, well, this has been fun. Thank you very much. We're taking the time to talk to us today, Mr. Szczepankewicz.

Well, thank you so much for having me. It's been a wonderful podcast. Oh, no, no. Thank you, yes.

We get a lot of compliments from our audience. Thank you. All right, we'll talk to you later. Bye, babe.

Love you. Bye-bye. I love you, too. I'm going to hang this up for the X.

Oh, good, he hung up. I get these random text messages from a lady named Lillian who owns a house somewhere, and they want to buy the house, and I always tell them that she died, and that we've given the house to the kids or something like that, so that's what my phone just went off. And they keep texting you? Yes.

Lillian lives again. m. at Beth's Burger Bar. Oh, did it cost her to take it?

Take it! I don't even know if they're in Florida. Show up, free burger. Free burger.

I'm with Lillian, party of two. I am Lillian. I am Lillian. She's parked in the car.

All right. Oh, they answered again. Wow, that's weird. But you normally don't reply that way.

Yeah, I don't know what's going on over there. National promo alert, you have been unsubscribed and will no longer receive messages. Excellent. You might want to block that number.

That's a lie. It's always a different number, it's never the same people. It's never the same people. Yeah.

All right. It's weird. My phone number must be one digit off or she used my phone number in something so they didn't call her. Yeah.

It's like one of those you feel awkward. Right. Do you want to do your fill fun facts right now? Sure.

Put your mask back on. Yeah, what time is it? How much time? Where are we at?

We're at 20. Okay. And then we'll get into the interview with the lovely Brittany Stebbon-Kevich. I'm so nervous.

You'll be fine. You can just make up answers. It doesn't matter. That was it.

You ready over there? Yep. Change the camera. Welcome to Cigar Hustlers Podcast Feature, Phil's Fun Facts.

Hello, peoples. All right. Still playing. Sorry.

Go ahead. Tobacco production is a labor-intensive endevore. Wait. Endeavor.

Yeah, that one. If only are the plants high users of nitrogen, there are very few weed control options for the crop. Is your brain in your sleeves, maybe? Is that the problem?

Yeah. Farmers can sometimes cultivate up to five times during early growth. This involves running an implement over the field, turning the dirt so weeds get knocked back, just like Phil knocking kids back to get first in line at the churro stand. Wow.

Bill's Fun Facts brought to you by Cigar Housers Podcast Patreon and Bray's Ranch in Waldo, Florida. Follow them at Bray's Ranch, uh, ampersine Bray's Ranch on Instagram or Facebook for regular ranch updates and news on the beef availability. Beef. Beef.

All right, back to Till. It's what's for dinner. All right, you ready here, Mrs. Szczepakiewicz?

I guess so. All right, if Mikey was a superhero, what would his superpower be and why? What would the superpower be and why? Oh, yes.

I mean, Hulk? So it would be strength? Yes. I mean, I feel like that is just...

Unbridled anger? I mean, he was angry on the phone. Perfect. I like that one.

Unbridled anger. Unbridled anger. That was very mellow for him, to be honest. Oh, I know.

I know. If Bernie wasn't here, he would have been a lot more angry. Oh, yeah. I gotta bring him down sometimes.

All right, if Mikey was a movie character, who would they be and why? they be and why who would he be i guess who would he be a movie so what is it the gladiator is that yeah the main character yeah i mean maximus whatever it is is it russell crow Russell yep i asked jack jack tell me about that ah because i'm looking at the questions and i'm like you'd walk around flexing yelled aren't you entertained and all the time all the time all the time he walks around flexing now oh i catch him flexing all the time oh upstairs anything You think it's got a reflection? Oh, yeah. Do you know how frustrating it is when I have my sunglasses on and we're outside, and I think he's looking at me, but he's just staring at himself, and I'm like, stop!

Yeah, when we shared a room in Vegas, I caught him flexing often. All the time. All the time. All the time.

Do you have to flex to brush your teeth? Yes. Because there's water in the sink. That's right.

Well, the big mirror in the bathroom. Oh, yeah. A lot of reflections going on. There was a mirror that faced the shower.

I imagine he had a great time in there. Oh, yeah. Oh yeah, flexing all the time while he's washing. What's the funniest thing Mikey ever said or has done in the house?

Or at home, I guess. You know, I really, I was looking at that one, I couldn't, I'm the funny one. Obviously. So I couldn't really think of...

Yeah, he's not that good. No. I agree. But if he does do something funny, or says something funny, he like, like what's the saying?

Beats it like a dead horse, like he'll keep doing it. Yeah, I'm like, okay, all right, we get it. If he does to you what he does to me, you'll say something, nobody hears it, so he takes it. Yep, oh, oh yeah, oh yeah, or if like he says something and I don't respond, he repeats himself.

And I'm like, I heard you, he goes, well, you didn't, you know, it's like you always got to give him that little... Right, he's got to be... Good job, good job, nice job, nice job. If Mikey could be any animal, what would he be?

That wasn't easy. I mean, other than the silverback? The big silverback gorilla, yeah. Lion.

Oh! Bull? I don't know why I'm writing down your answers, but it seems necessary. I don't know.

What is the most memorable or quirky habit Mikey has, other than the flexing? Because that started when he started working out. Oh, no, he's always... Oh, he always flex?

He's his biggest fan. Like, he's always... Oh, I know that, right, yeah. always looking at himself and, you know...

Oh, my gosh. There are so many things. So, okay, well, one thing that he does that really, really irritates me is when he's, like, cooking, he wipes his dirty hands on the dish towel. Where should he wipe his dirty hands?

Like, rinse, you rinse and then you dry off. Oh, okay, he doesn't wash them. Yeah. He just goes from...

He just wipes the grease and everything. " Well, does he do the laundry? That's why. No.

He barely does the floors. No. No. No, he stopped vacuuming.

Oh, he doesn't do the floors anymore? He doesn't do the floors anymore. Oh, he gave that up, did you, Mikey? I broke the vacuum.

Oh. The little... The robots? Well, those things are good to shit.

Those have been going for a long time. Yeah. Yeah, we didn't like those either. And then we got a new one and still didn't like anything.

The one, it's got like a green light on it. Yeah. And so, it's pretty cool. You can see everything that you suck up.

Well, I broke it by accident. Oh. It like green lights the floor? Yeah.

So, since then, he like quit vacuuming. So, now there's just dog hair everywhere. What does he do now? He does nothing now.

No, he hasn't. Nothing. No new chores, Michael. In trouble.

How long has that vacuum been broken? Because it came up a couple episodes ago and he said he still does it. Yeah, I think it was like two or three episodes ago. He said he still does it close.

No, it's been a few months. It's been a while. When he hears this episode, he's going to listen back. Oh, sure he is.

It was still... Alright, if Mikey If he suddenly became a famous musician, what type of music would he perform and what would his stage name be? Please call us, I'm good with this one. I don't know.

Go to three. Go back and forth on the cameras. I know you're enjoying the show over there, but... I don't know about his stage name.

Right. But like, music-wise, he listens to all different kinds of music. Right, he listens to all sorts. Like, it could be like Biggie Smalls and then all of a sudden it's like, what is it?

-Disney show tunes and stuff. -Yeah, his genres are worldwide. -Yeah, riding in the car with him, it's just crazy. -Yeah.

-Yeah. So, maybe rap? He actually... -We'll be singing the theme from Frozen and then we go into death metal or rap.

-Right. -He actually does have a really good voice. I feel like he can sing. His go-to karaoke song back a long time ago.

Oh my gosh. -Oh, please tell us. -Please, please. -And then we're gonna play that, don't we?

-Marva Strachan. -No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The Wind Beneath My Wings. Oh my God, I can't think of it.

It's like right here. Oh, I should've wrote it down. But yeah. Who sings it?

I don't know. It sounds like. No, it's not that. Sing a few words.

It's not that. Oh my gosh, I can't think about it. Should've been a cowboy. No.

No, it wasn't that. Oh my gosh. Okay, maybe it'll come to me. All right, we'll come back to that.

All right, come back, come back to number six. Okay. If Mikey was stranded on a deserted island, what three things would he bring? I honestly wrote down three things, but he is such a needy person that I don't think that he could, I mean, so I wrote down cold plunge, hotbox, red light, okay.

There's so many other things, it's like, he needs his protein powder, he needs his water for his Mio, he's got the CPAP, the fucking amount of pills he takes on a daily basis, like, I, I, I, I, I The water pick. The water pick. The water pick. Oh, well, he didn't take it with him this time.

The eyeball massager. The eyeball massager. The eyeball massager. He said he told you to cut back on some of the supplies.

The speaker. He needs a speaker. The speaker. I didn't pack the speaker.

Oh. Yeah, so I don't know what he's doing at night time. How's he sleeping? Yeah, what's he doing at night?

Which is another thing that freaks me the fuck out when there's a man voice. All right. No, no, no. We're going to talk about that in a minute, too.

Because there's nobody else other than the three of us that have experienced this. Oh my God, he's going to kill me. Oh man. Kill you, he's going to kill us.

You're going to go free. What's the weirdest or most unexpected item you think you'd find in Mikey's backpack? Okay. So, I mean, there's definitely some Excedra migraine or Advil pills just rolling around in there.

His lunchbox, can I say, okay, his lunchbox obviously in his backpack, but the fact that when he's done eating his chicken or his steak, He's not eating his chicken or his steak, he just throws his Tupperware in there and there's fucking chicken and steak juice that gets everywhere and it's like so frustrating. You know how long it took me to get him to put it back in the backpack? Normally it was all upstairs. Like, I mean, I just-- Playing anywhere.

I told him, like, there's literally nothing else I can-- more I could do other than the next step would be washing you and I'm not doing that. I make it so easy for you. Just close the fucking Tupperware and put it back in. I picture you with a giant brush.

He's in the shower. Well, he does have a giant brush. No, but you were doing it. Oh, no, I'm not going there.

I'm not going that far. No. No. While he's in there, he's brushing, and he's red lighting too.

Wow. Yeah, he red lighted in the bathroom when he was getting ready. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

I lost my place. Sorry. Time management. If Mikey could swap jobs with any of the employees upstairs, who do you think it would be?

Greg. To do nothing. I don't know. No, I don't know.

I mean, I don't think he, he don't want to stand behind a bar, he doesn't want to. Yeah. All right, what's the most creative or unusual excuse he's made for being late or missing something? Well, he's late all the time.

It's always like- I'm glad you said that. Yeah, he is. He's always late. Because what does he always tell us?

I'm on my way. Oh, okay. Well, he's never late. Oh, because he's the constant that our world should revolve around.

Yeah, so you know how like you see all those old men in the mall and they're always waiting Like that's going to be me sitting with the men waiting on Mikey like he's in the store still always the last one out of the house like when we're in the car me and the kids are in the car and here he comes you know shuffling out and then he's got to get his water and his energy drink and his coffee and you know or we're getting ready to leave for was it the other day to go somewhere and all of a sudden he's clipping his toenails I'm like you couldn't do this like when we just saw they were super long I'm like It's not Sunday night! Stop! And I said to him, because he does it over the toilet, so then I went to go pee, and I fucking sat on a toenail, and I'm like, come on! Or it's always, I mean, he forgot this, or it's on his phone, somebody just calls, and he doesn't know appropriate timing of maybe when to take a call and when not to take a call.

You know, it's like we're unloading the car at groceries, and his phone rings, and I'm like... I'll be right back. " I'll just keep working, Michael. You take the call.

I mean, maybe it's appropriate for him at that time. " Okay, let's get back to the sound things at night. He does that every single night? Yeah, so it started out with just music.

Right. " Bongos and monkeys. It's either a woman's voice or there was a male's voice one time. Yeah, I think it's the first night there was a man's voice.

Yeah. And I thought he was talking in his sleep because you can't understand what they're saying. Oh, no, he don't talk in his sleep. He jumps and runs in his sleep.

Right, I thought maybe this was something new. Oh, no, no, no, no. " With his seat pop on? No, he didn't have it on because he was having nasal problems when we were out there.

Yeah. But then after, I was like, "Can we just do music maybe? " Because the talking's a little creepy. It is.

It is, I know. Yeah. I have no idea what you were saying, but you were mumbling all night long. Well, it was from that book you read.

Probably, probably, some book. And then he also plays it when he goes into the cold plunge in the house. How can he hear? He doesn't...

He doesn't put his head under. Oh, I thought he said he closed the thing. Oh no, he can't close the freezer, he'd die. Yeah, it should have locked.

Maybe I'm thinking about the... That's why they take the refrigerator doors off when you throw an old refrigerator away. Maybe I'm thinking about the other thing. The hot box?

Yeah, the hot box, yeah. I don't think his hot box does his head, does it? His hot box, his head sticks out. His head sticks out, yeah.

I never understood, like, he has so many things that he does, when I go to their house, like, I don't see all these things everywhere. There's just so much, I know you clean it up, I'm not saying that you don't clean it up, I'm just saying like, well, the freezer's in the garage. You would think that there's just like, massive amount of things just all over the place. The hotbox used to be in the bedroom, is it still in the bedroom?

No, because, it used to be like in the corner. So the hotbox is not in there anymore, it is, it gets folded up and put in the garage, because it comes out on the patio, and he brings out his, He plays an Xbox, and he smokes cigars, playing Xbox, and hot boxing. Brittany has a full-time job. I do.

Oh yeah. And then there's the kids. The children eat stuff every once in a while. I took a picture the other day, I'm going to send it to you, of his setup for if it's a gym day.

He has this ability to, he's always trying new things, obviously, you know that, you know. " And then all of a sudden, it just kind of becomes my job. Like, he just stops doing it. He still wants, he wants the benefits of it.

Yeah. But he doesn't want to do the prep. Yeah. " Which is him letting me know, "Don't pack those for me anymore.

" You know what I mean? And I- You have to unseparate them from the little trays or whatever you haven't sewn up in? So I put them in dime bags now. Oh, perfect.

Oh, I've seen the little bags. Yeah. But how many do you make in advance? Let's say.

Um, seven. I do seven. Oh, a week at a time. Wait, why do you put them in dime bags?

That is because you forgot to take them before? Because, well, they're not all taken at the same time. Oh, that's right. So, you know.

And so like his beetroot powder, I put in a little bag. Because if I didn't do these things for him, and I've done it to myself, you know. Yeah, it's your own fault. But if I did not have these things set up, it would take him probably two hours to get out of the house.

Like, cause he would have to do it. He would have to do it. And then he gets distracted. And then it's like, you know, I'm not gonna beat him up on this.

I mean, Tia used to do a lot of things for me, but recently, like, probably like, I don't know, three, four weeks ago, she was tired of the pill shit. Right? So like, cause she used to always refill my pill box. So she just stopped fucking doing it.

And then there was one day I just didn't take my pills and I felt horrible. Like, my blood pressure was going all out of whack and shit. You couldn't get your own pills. " Tia, I'm dying, what happened to my pills?

" Maybe she did it on purpose. Yeah, no, she did. So now, well, not to kill me. " So now I refill my pills.

I, I mean, he would do it. I just, I try, I try and do what I can to make his day go smooth. So, whether it be the Frosted Flakes with the spoon for the, you know, after workout meal, all his protein shakes, his chicken, his Mio, his… Go on. You've spoiled it.

Yes. But… God forbid anything happens to you, I'm not doing it, so I don't know what he's going to do. Oh, he'll be a wreck. Oh, I've said to him sometimes, I'm like, you know, like… He better die before you.

Right. Wait, hold on. We're not allowed to talk about dying on the show or him being dead. Oh.

That's not a thing anymore. We're not allowed to talk about that. I don't like when he says those things. I feel like you put it out in the universe.

It's not my thing. But yeah, no. I mean, yes. It makes you feel better.

He's got like a brain thing going on over there. Oh. Let's not bring that up right now. Yep, feel great.

I'm fine. I think you were driving. It was better. I have to drive.

Oh, okay. So it's not. Never mind. All righty.

Uh, okay, back to, uh, I don't know where we're talking. What else do you want? Yeah, any more questions? No, no, I only had 10.

Those were, you've had, uh, two weeks to think of, there's nothing like you really wanted to dig, blah, blah. Oh, I know everything else. Oh, I'm so surprised. I just wanted an embarrassing kind of general questions.

Is there something else you want to share? Ooh. How many times does he call you a day when he's out like this? What is expected?

Um... My wife's pretty easy. There's a good morning text or a phone call, and then there's a, before you go to bed, goodnight, I'm back in the hotel. That's usually all that's expected.

No, I, well, you know, I'm like neurotic and anxiety, so I always like to make sure that he's okay. And when I text him, if he doesn't text back, I'm like, okay, are you dead? That's immediately what I go to. Can you see his location while he's over there?

There's no pooping, there's no eating, there's nothing in between, just straight death. So, he's gotten better with just, like, communicating if he, like, gets on the road, you know, or whatever, um, I mean, I don't expect, you know, or like... So, he's got his phone set up on some type of international plan-wise there, so it's always running? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, like, he FaceTimes me all, like... Right, right, right. Mm-hmm.

Okay, just curious. But... Like, when I used to go to China, I would, I would, uh, just turn the phone on airplane mode and hit Wi-Fi spots. Oh, no, I could call him any, any time.

Because, yeah, because it got to be too expensive. Oh, no, he's... Well, he's paid by somebody else, so... the phone bill yeah yeah he's he's yeah he'll talk to the kids say good night you know in the morning and all that um what else what's any other questions no nothing do you have a question you have a question i don't you have something you want to ask no i don't this is the one chance i don't oh i ask a lot of questions there are some things in my head but they're probably It's probably too embarrassing, so I'm not going to ask.

It might be more embarrassing to you than him, so I'm not going to ask. What? Tell me. No.

Then I might as well have said it. No. Oh, come on. No.

All right. I don't want to know what you want to ask. What do we have? What do we have?

38 minutes. Yeah, we're okay. It's a short show. He's out of time.

All right. It's been episode 330 of the Cigar Houser Podcast with, go to three, Brittany Stephan Gavich. Do you have a shop of the week? Oh, yeah.

Do you have a shop of the week? Do I have a shop of the week? The Week, this just completely kills Mikey, because he never has a Shop of the Week. Right.

Uh, can I do Smoke on the Water? Of course. Because I just... Shop of the Week, Smoke on the Water!

I told my dad about that yesterday, because he was telling me one of those... Oh, he was just here on a visit? Yeah, he was here yesterday. And the Manny's in town!

Perfect. He is. He's at Mika's right now. I dropped them off to do a pool day.

Oh. Yeah. Pool day. So, but they leave tomorrow.

Oh. Short. Oh, the wife was here too? Yeah, she's here.

She didn't make the photos from your father. He posted the worst frickin' photos, I swear. " It's not. People will see it.

Yeah. You're gonna tag me. And it's always like the awkward poses, you know, on the side, the angles. Right.

Oh, yeah. You're at the end of the couch. Yeah. Where's the brown leather?

Oh, that's the one in the main living room? No. Well, we moved it all. Oh.

We now have- Apparently I have not been over in a while. No. Well, because- Not that you haven't invited, I just haven't been over. Christmas, they got a bunch of shit.

Way too much stuff. So, they have taken over the big, large room. Oh, the kids stuff is in the big, large room? Well, yeah.

I mean, when you have a trampoline, and a balance beam, and a football-throwing game, and, you know, X-Boxes, and- Like a Chuck E. Cheese at your house. Uh, Hot Wheels track, Barbie Dream House. Wow.

Um, yeah. Oh, the giant Kinect 4 that's made its way in there. Axe throwing. We have axe throwing.

That's that Nerf-looking thing. You had that before, I think. Yep, yep. So now we just...

Is it merged into Mika's old room now, too? No, I took over Mika's room and made it like an office craft room. Oh, good for you. I hide in there, but then they come in there, the kids.

They found me again. You should make the door look like part of the drywall. Right, it's sort of... That way they can't find it.

It's wood. I don't want to put a piece of drywall on it. Well, you know, Greg's really good at building out here, so... Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. You can make a pocket door that doesn't, you know, just blends in. Say that to my front door. It'll look like the front door.

The drawbridge that has to be lowered before you come in. It doesn't work. Everyone's like, oh, I love this door. Great, it doesn't fucking work.

It doesn't open it up. I can see my neighbors. Yeah. Go around to the garage, I'll let you in.

Exactly, that's what I have to do sometimes. In the summer, it swells and it sticks, and I'm like, just go to the garage. It was such a nice idea when he did it. I mean, it's pretty.

I mean, it's a thought. It's a thought. It's pretty. It just doesn't work.

I just, whenever someone's at the door now, I'll just open up the front window and be like, "Hey, I'm sorry, my dogs-" It's a drive-thru, what would you like? That's a prop. Don't worry about it, it doesn't work. The front door doesn't work, just for luck.

It's beautiful. I don't think we've ever used the actual key in the door. I think when it was first built, I put my key in there and I went to go turn it and my key broke off in there, and that was it. So you could only use that door from the inside.

From the inside. Oh, nice. Nice. Yeah.

All right, guys, we're going to go. Thank you very much. Bye. Bye.

Bye. A Cigar Hustlers podcast, its owners and its sponsors take no responsibility for the opinions or statements made by the talk show host or their guest. Statements or show topics are not necessarily the beliefs of Mike and Mike Productions or the podcast providers and opinions between talk show hosts may differ. It is not our intention to libel, incite, or hurt anyone's feelings.

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Show Notes

In this episode of the Cigar Hustlers Podcast, Episode 330, we sit down with Mikey from Nicaragua, and for a special twist, we're joined by his wife, Brittany! Join us as we ask Brittany the tough and embarrassing questions about her husband, Mikey. It's sure to be a fun and revealing conversation that you won't want to miss! Tune in for some laughs, insights, and of course, plenty of cigar talk.