Cigar Hustlers Podcast Episode 330 Mrs. Szczepankiewicz
Transcript
Everybody stand by.
Industry is in the house.
Here he is the controversial,
the legendary.
It's my destiny.
Make way for the king.
Can't be stopped shooting.
My.
Shot another Mike and Mike
production in three,
332-221-1100.
Welcome to Cigar Hustlers
Podcast episode 330, recorded
live at the Mike and Mike
Production studios in Deltona,
FL.
This is Cigar Hustlers podcast,
the show where two guys or one
guy 1 drill share their passion
for cigars, business and life.
Join Mike Slash Brittany the
Queen, Stefan Kavage and his Co
host Mike BDP Palmer as they
talk about the latest cigar
news, reviews, tips and
interviews some of the most
influential people in scar
industry and me.
I'm their engineer in soundtech
Phil whether you're seasoned
aficionado or curious beginner,
this podcast's for you.
Sit back, relax, and line up a
cigar with Scar Luster's
podcast, Their.
Casual Phil today.
Casual.
Welcome to the Cigars for
podcast the show brought to you.
Commercial free, but a massive
shout out to our amazing patrons
on the Patreon.
Thank you for your unwavering
support.
We're able to deliver
unfiltered, unbiased opinions on
all things cigars and
personalities in the cigar
world.
You're back.
He makes it possible for us to
keep it real for our listeners.
Cheers.
So you if like become a Patreon
member go to www.patreon.com and
search a cigar hustlers podcast.
Try to get through that quick.
All right, we're gonna call
Mikey now we've got go to two.
We've got the lovely Brittany
Stefan.
Kevin's here today and he has no
idea she can be in the show, so
let's.
No idea.
No idea, let's.
Do you would you say it's our
podcast or would you say it's
yours?
It's mine.
It's ours.
See.
It's a family thing.
Oh, this is a nice shot.
This is nice.
Oh, can you?
Can we see him on the video?
No, we won't see the whole
video.
We're not you.
Should put a cool picture.
I'll put up a nice picture.
There he is.
Hello.
Ryan.
Hello, Michael.
Can you send it yourself?
This is awkward.
I can't see you.
Nobody else can see you either.
Is he in the tub?
Are you in the tub?
Boots wants to know I'm.
In the.
Tub.
It sounds like you're in the
tub.
I said that was a totally
different hotel.
There's no tub here.
I'm actually sitting in like the
front room where Romo Craft has
everything coming on display.
Very echoey.
Echoey.
Oh, they have their their own
Four Seasons hotel.
Yes, yes, the Romo Craft Four
Seasons.
Nice.
OK, well let me move to another
room.
You got to move to another room.
The Wi-Fi is excellent.
So if you could same Wi-Fi
better over sound quality if
that's possible because Skip
does not sound like this when he
does shows.
No, he sounds perfect.
Skip sounds good.
So when he does it, he's.
Enough.
Did you fall down?
What was that noise?
It's the Wi-Fi is getting worse.
Does.
He still have the scooter, no?
No, no, he's not.
He's he's on 2 feet.
Oh.
How's.
That say something else.
How's that?
That's better.
A little better.
Yeah, a little bit little
better.
Now where are you?
There's a lot of boxes behind
you.
Start filling the pockets.
He's in the closet.
I'm in the 80.
Wi-fi's worse.
You're lagging.
Wi-fi's worse.
Sound is better.
We asked for same Wi-Fi.
Better sound.
He's moving.
I'm.
Going back to the other room.
Doesn't Skip have a sound room
for this type of stuff there?
Sure he will.
No, he's going to have to do
with.
That How about Jason ask Jason
where he goes.
Who's?
Jason.
Who's?
I'm not sure they got the name
wrong.
Apparently, yeah.
You mean Alex?
Yeah, that guy, Yeah, Alex has
got Alex working.
Jason used to work there.
I don't remember who.
Jason.
No, Jason does work there.
He's a new guy.
Jason's a new guy.
You haven't met him yet?
No, no, he's the guy that Mikey
doesn't like because he didn't
do the.
Interview.
He's not there though.
Yeah.
Or Jeff.
How's.
It you know, we'll take what we
can get, I guess.
It is fun just watching you walk
around though.
Yes.
Would you like to be introduced
to this week's guest?
Perfect, Yeah.
OK.
Congratulations, Michael.
I just texted I'm I'm.
No expense.
I'm about I'm about to do the
podcast.
I just texted WE.
Were afraid you were going to
call.
He was not going to answer.
No wonder why the kids had to go
to school.
Yes, well, Jax is next door.
Yeah.
Raiding the root beers.
Yes, they're delicious.
Yeah, it's not feeling well.
So I'm sure that you know those,
those who go over perfect.
It must affect his volume in
speaking 'cause he's very low
talking today.
Oh, just trying to sell it,
yeah.
So what's been going on here?
You can tell your way.
Hi.
You have to talk.
Brittany, it's the, it's one of
the what a what a sexy podcast
that you have here.
Oh, thank you very much.
Or were you?
Or were you telling her about
me?
You trade that no no talking to
them.
No, no, no, no.
So this you know landed in
supposed to retail was at San
Juan de served for a day and a
half drove up to SLE last night
smoked the the new test plan on
the warbearer smoked a new SPC
last night.
Wait.
Wait, wait, you're going too
fast.
You're going too fast.
Get back to staying at skip
sounds.
This sounds like a dream.
Did you?
Was there a guest room or did
you have Fiorella's room?
I believe it was Fiorella's
room.
Was the bed extremely small like
at the house in Texas?
No what?
Oh.
I.
I sleep.
She had a when I was there.
She had a children size bed.
So I like a toddler bed.
Yeah, I got the toddler bed.
Michael got the king size and
the adjoining room, naturally.
Well, he's bigger.
He's not that bigger.
That's fine.
Go ahead.
What'd you have for dinner?
Last night I had a cheeseburger.
There'll be a Instagram video
for that.
I will post that.
Oh.
Yeah.
I got throat footage, but
there's a cool there's a good
steakhouse here that we ate at
and the night fryer.
Is that where the ashtray
picture came from?
Yeah.
The salsa in the ashtray was
that salsa.
Salsa no.
Oh, what was that?
The ashtray.
No.
No, it was a red.
It was some type of red liquid
in the.
Ash Yeah, no, I think it was.
I think it was just a design in.
The Oh, it was just a red bottom
that they.
Don't get too good today.
Yeah, it's so.
Struggling too.
I didn't red light this morning.
I was very busy.
No red light.
No red light, today is very busy
but I did yesterday so I'm a day
ahead.
I.
Did crashing crashing, so that
went well.
So how was the smuggling from
Costa Rica over to San Juan del
Sur?
Yes.
It was very interesting.
I was dropped off and I had to
walk off the border standing in
my leg Wait.
Wait wait wait wait wait, back
up, back up, back up, back up.
Did mute drive across the border
and you weren't allowed in the
car?
Of course.
No, there was a, there was a
driver.
So the two of you were let out.
No, the driver dropped me off
there and I won't stop.
Oh, by yourself?
Yeah, and then Mute picked you
up on the other side.
Mute is not here another driving
technique.
Oh, so the mute thing didn't
work out?
No, no mute.
No mute.
Did they put a blindfold on it?
No blindfold.
Was it was it hard to?
Was it hard to clench your ass
to keep the drugs in as you
cross the border?
I've heard that can be difficult
dude.
You don't want to mess around
with that with that shit here.
It doesn't last a lot.
I've crossed Chinese borders.
Yeah, it's not fun at all.
No, The Walking.
Part is is a little unnerving, I
have to admit.
Yeah, the semi truck line was
like just two days long in order
to get in from 1 country to the
other.
Two days.
Yeah.
That's the Chinese, the
workaround the Chinese borders
where your brother got taken in
the back room and disappeared
for about 15 minutes.
Well, he, well, he asked for
that.
He might have, I don't know.
It was like, nothing I can do.
I'm just going to keep going,
you know?
Get me?
Through here, you guys let me
through a little too fast.
You might want to check.
This I need a story for later.
Can you check that again for me
please?
Right.
Did you type in the name?
Right.
It's got a lot of consonants in
it.
I'm.
Going to need you to go deeper
deeper.
Lord.
OK, so you cross the border and
get picked up by another random
guy.
Was that guy waiting for you?
Did he have a sign or something?
Or did you just pick?
A driver Mr. Step on Kevin did
was.
He, like I, was waiting.
For the Signor, just like Vegas,
we always wanted that.
Right signor step on Kevage was
written on the sign.
No, no.
Signor, Mike.
Was there 2 signs?
It's a long name.
No, the 1st and at the airport
and Michael Joseph.
Oh, oh, oh, middle name.
They couldn't spell the last
name is Michael Joseph Stefan
Cabbage.
Why K no bueno Michael Joseph.
We go with that.
No, the problem with the remote
podcast is that you can even
talk over me and it can't
threaten.
Me.
You can still threaten me, it
just doesn't mean anything.
He's starting to melt.
I could see it in his face.
He's starting to meltdown.
He's going to lose his shit
soon.
Go ahead, Michael.
Well, elaborate on your stories.
You're leaving out a lot of good
details.
I mean, I'm trying to, but you
keep fucking talking over me and
it's impossible.
Well, you went from landing at
the airport to the factory all
in the same sentence.
Yeah, because that's where the
the cigar part happened.
You saw the sunset?
Oh nice.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, I saw the sunset was
skipped.
Yeah.
And the sunset pictures of my
wife.
This is what happens.
Like I try and send pictures to
my wife so that you know she can
appreciate these things because
I wish she was here with me and
instead I got fucking come.
Must be nice.
She's never in the first of me.
Was it from the pool 'cause I I
heard you put on your bathing
suit?
I did put on my bathing suit.
It was not from the pool.
Oh yeah.
When you found the, yeah, found
the found.
That's when you found.
The gift, yes, yeah, which I
will be.
I will be placing the gifts.
You'll what?
I'll hide it from the.
Gifts.
Thank you.
Leave it there at the factory,
somewhere in the smoking room or
somebody's office or something.
No, it's going to go on the
display.
Oh, OK, perfect.
Not on the night stand.
No, no.
He's staying at a hotel.
Oh yeah.
That's right.
Yeah.
So who lives in the apartment
there now at the factory?
Greg was just telling me that
Skip doesn't doesn't live there
anymore.
They it was they rented it.
Oh, I thought it was like over
the factory.
No.
So you know, it's funny because
you're having the conversation.
When are you going to come down
to?
Me.
Yeah, you.
Oh, I.
Don't know whenever I don't have
to be smuggled across the border
I guess.
Yeah, you should come.
Maybe when your family goes,
I'll I'll go too.
Oh wow.
Brittany was telling me how much
he's looking forward to that.
I think realistically what would
probably happen is by those are
two steps of trip I would do
just like San Juan to serve for
a weekend and I might and I was
trying to read about just going
with her.
Oh, that would.
With who?
You live with us.
Well, we'll go stay at your
house with the killer dogs and
the butt checker dog.
I can see your face, pretty.
I can see your.
Oh my God.
Closer to the microphone.
Sorry, sorry.
There you go.
There you go.
I don't know.
We'll have to see.
I'd love to make a trip down
there.
We were just, oh, sorry, sorry.
Over 50 being smuggled sounds
like a real candidate for a.
Last trip I ever made a.
Slave for the.
White hair, pale.
Yeah, I'll blend in.
I'll escape and run out in the
city.
Still find me?
See Palmer on the corner later.
Fake.
Fake in Spanish, putting an O on
the end of every word.
Hello O, Hello O No, it's
really.
Kind of crazy.
What?
Well, it's really kind of crazy,
but the the trip from San Juan,
the sort of estimates is only
180 miles.
It's almost five hours.
A lot of dirt roads.
There's a lot of traffic and
fuckery.
So pretty.
Border patrols.
Traffic checks.
There's a lot of police, a lot
of.
Great.
So it's not like a highway.
And it it is.
But what happens is this highway
has, you know, third.
It's a third world.
It's.
A third world highway.
It has motorcycles on it like
their bikes and shit and then
what happens is people will pass
you and then they'll just slow
down right in front of you like
a one lane Rd. so that those
jobs get crazy.
That sounds like you're driving.
Sounds like China, do they have
horns on the bikes and
motorcycles?
That's big in China with the PB.
Yeah.
That's annoying.
All right, So now you're at the
factory and everything's safe.
It's easier to get back from
there to the airport I heard.
Well, John in Managua is a
shorter trip from that to me
that period and I'm in that
country.
So you know, yeah, that'll knock
on wood.
That should go OK.
Yeah.
You know, the hotels and hotels
it's it's different.
It's just a different world
here, man.
I don't know how to explain it.
It's totally different world and
you know there's like 3
restaurants that you can eat at.
That one looked nice from last
night.
From the photo with the ashtray
without the sunlight, that
looked like a decent place.
Yeah, that's the that's like one
of the three.
And that's when.
You get Pizza Hut.
Is that where you got the
hamburger?
Yes.
Are you guaranteed it was beef
or good to be something else?
Oh no, it's definitely beef.
Just curious.
Got a hamburger please.
What, you got a hamburger at the
Steam, please?
Yeah, yeah, We ate at the this
place in San Juan, the circle
and Tree Castle and it was
really nice.
And I had and I had a steak that
night and I had like this they
have like a Jean here that's
pretty bound up.
So I was looking for something
with a little more grease.
Get things, don't be a little
more flowy, be a little more
flowy.
Maybe get a little more regular
are.
They North American toilets
there.
No.
What do you mean?
Like the toilets are, but you're
not supposed to flush toilet
paper down the.
Toilet.
Yeah, well, I assume that from
Skip's story about Buster eating
The Dirty toilet paper.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But at the Hex Hotel you can you
can use.
Your flush.
Gotcha.
It's more the the sitting and
the flushing.
I don't care where the paper
goes.
It's like in China, sometimes
there's just a hole when you put
a foot on either side and you
got a squat.
No, there's there's actual.
Toilets.
Actual toilets.
Gotcha.
Yeah.
Well, that's good to know.
So far it sounds like a lovely
trip.
Was that China or were you
remembering Vietnam?
Both.
Oh, OK, Vietnam.
There's no porcelain.
It's just the dirt.
Go ahead, Michael.
It is a lovely trip, man.
It's cool.
You know, it's important to be
here to see what's going on.
Both some production.
All right, sure, I understand
why you're there.
I mean that makes complete.
Sense yeah.
So, you know, all that stuff is,
is always fascinating.
And then, you know, Alex is this
down here, so you have to abuse
him.
He's now circling, you know,
close to the vicinity.
Oh, So what are you working on
today, or this week or this trip
or whatever?
Well, I'm trying to solidify the
war there.
Possibly an FCC for this year.
Oh, not the two year hiatus.
Not the two year hiatus.
And then then we're working on a
new, a new blend, a new Coraline
blend.
Oh, what's the What's the new
war?
All those things.
Go ahead.
What's the new Warbear?
What?
What's the new warbear?
Is it gonna be a different size?
Another box price?
Is it gonna be a?
Barnacle.
It's gonna, it's gonna be a
different size.
It's doing the same one.
It's gonna be a different size.
It's gonna be cool.
This one's the same year.
So this one's pretty pretty.
Bad gotcha.
You want me to tell?
You What's happening?
Big year.
Yeah, yeah, the 10 year
anniversary.
I can't believe it's been fun
news.
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
Bye bye.
So what else is going on?
We have an interview scheduled
with Brittany.
We can't, we can't be talking to
you all day.
Oh, OK, that's it.
That's it.
Am I OK with those interviews?
I'm not sure we're not asking
she's she's seen all the
questions prior to the
interview, if that makes you, if
that makes you feel any better
at all.
That does not make me feel any
better.
I wasn't sure, I just thought
I'd throw that out.
OK.
All right.
Does Alex Jason want to say
hello?
No, he just walked away.
OK.
Goodbye, Alex.
Jason.
Can you walk?
Can you?
We can't see the video, does it?
I guess they can walk you
through the factory, but it
doesn't matter.
No video.
No, I'm, I'll put up some video
clips, I'll do some things.
I just go to like Instagram Real
for the trip over here.
Which is pretty good.
Something cap cutting.
Something very tight.
Good.
Excellent.
We love those here.
Yeah, pretty Anything to that?
Go ahead.
No.
Oh, yeah.
Would you like to say anything
to your lovely wife?
I love you and I miss you.
Love you, miss you too.
I love you, miss you too if it
matters.
I love you, miss you too.
Greg's upstairs doing nothing,
just so you know where you're
going.
Super busy.
Super busy, he did go see Island
Gym over the weekend.
Oh yeah, he.
Didn't sell anything.
Of course he did.
Basically, he went to Saint
Augustine for the weekend.
He went to the store where they
sell islands.
That could be the way the story
goes, I'm not sure.
I just asked him he bought
anything and he said no.
Like OK.
All right.
All right.
Well, this has been fun.
Thank you very much.
We taking the time to talk to us
today, Mr. Stefan Kevich.
Well.
Thank you so much for having me,
it's a wonderful project.
Oh, no, no, thank you.
Yes, We get a lot of compliments
from our audience.
Thank you.
All right, All right.
We'll talk to you later.
Bye babe, love you.
Bye.
Bye.
Love you too.
I'm gonna hang this up on the X.
Oh, good.
He hung up.
I get these random text messages
once.
You want from for a lady named
Lillian who owns a house
somewhere and they want to buy
the house.
And I always tell them that she
died and, and that we've given
the house to the kids or
something like that.
So that's what my my phone just
went off.
And they keep texting you.
Yes.
Lillian lives again.
Oh, she's been invited to Austin
Arthur's County Commissioner
meeting today at 5:00 PM at
Beth's Burger Bar.
And did it cost her the ticket?
Take it.
I don't even know if they're in.
Florida show up Free burger A.
Free burger.
I'm with Lillian.
Party of two.
I am Lily.
I am Lily.
She's parking the car, all
right.
Oh.
Oh, they answered.
Again, wow, that's weird, but
you normally don't reply that.
Quite that I don't know what's
going on over there.
National promo alert You have
been unsubscribed and will no
longer receive messages.
Excellent.
You may want to block that
number.
That's a lie.
It's always a different number.
It's never the same people.
All right?
It's weird my phone number must
be 1 digit off or she used my
phone number in something so
they didn't call her.
Yeah, it's like one of those you
feel awkward.
Right.
Do you want to do your Phil fun
facts right now?
Sure.
Put your mask back on.
Yeah.
What time is it?
How much time we at?
Where are we at?
We're at 20.
OK, and then we'll get into the
interview with the lovely
Britney Stubborn Cabbage.
So nervous.
You'll be fine.
You can just make up answers, it
doesn't matter.
All right.
Sounds good.
You ready over there?
Yep, change the camera.
Welcome to Cigar Hustlers
podcast feature Phil's fun fact.
Hello peoples.
All right.
Still playing time?
Go ahead.
Tobacco production is a labor
intensive endeavor.
None.
That wait, Endeavor.
Yeah, that one.
Not only are the plants high
users of nitrogen, there are
very few weed control options
for the crop.
Is your brain in your sleeves?
Maybe.
Is that the problem?
Yeah, farmers can sometimes
cultivate up to five times
during early growth.
This involves running an
implement over the field,
turning the dirt so weeds get
knocked back.
Just like Phil knocking kids
back to get first in line at the
churro stand.
Wow.
Phil's fun facts bread you by
cigars and podcast, Patreon and
braze ranch in Waldo, Florida.
Follow limit Braze ranch
ampersign Braze Ranch on
Instagram or Facebook for
regular ranch updates and news
on the beef availability.
Beef, beef.
All right, back to two.
What's for dinner?
All right, you ready here,
Missus Stabakovich?
I guess so.
All right, Mikey was a
superhero.
What would his superpower be and
why?
Oh.
Yes.
I mean Hulk.
So it'd be strange.
Yes, I mean, I feel like that
is.
Unbridled anger I.
Mean he was angry on the phone.
That was, you know, that was,
that was that one.
Unbridled anger.
That was very mellow for him.
Doesn't he be honest?
Oh, I know you.
Wasn't.
Yeah, you.
If Brit if Britney wasn't here,
he would have been a lot more.
Angry Oh.
Yeah, I got to bring him down
sometimes.
All right, if Mikey was a movie
character, who would they be and
why?
Who would he be?
I guess.
Who would he be?
A movie?
So what is it?
The The Gladiator is that.
Yeah, the main character.
Yeah, I mean.
Maximus, whatever it is.
Is it Russell Crowe?
Russell Crowe?
Yep.
I asked Jack.
Jack, tell me about that 'cause
I'm looking at the questions and
I'm like.
He would walk around flexing,
yelled Aren't you entertained
and.
All the time.
All the time.
All the time he walks around
flexing now.
Oh, I catch him flexing all the
time.
Oh, upstairs, anything that's
got a reflection.
Oh.
Yeah.
Do you know how frustrating it
is when I have my sunglasses on
and we're outside and I think
he's looking at me, but he's
just staring at himself and I'm
like stop.
Like, yeah, when we shared a
room in Vegas, I caught him
flexing often.
All the time.
All the time.
All the time.
Do you have?
To flex, To brush your teeth.
Yes, 'cause there's.
Water in the sink.
That's right.
Well, the big mirror in the back
a.
Lot of reflections going on.
There was a mirror that faces
shower.
I imagine he had a great time in
there, you know, flexing all the
time while he's watching.
What's the funniest thing Mikey
ever said or has done?
In the house or at home I guess.
You know, I really, I was
looking at that one.
I couldn't.
I'm the funny one obviously, so
I couldn't really think of.
Yeah, he's not.
Not good, no, I agree.
But if he does do something
funny or says something funny,
he like like, what's the saying?
Like beats it like a dead horse,
like he'll.
He'll keep doing it.
Yeah, I'm like, OK, All right,
we.
Get it?
What he does to me he you'll say
something.
Nobody hears it, so he takes it.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
Or.
Or if like he says something and
I don't respond, he repeats
himself and I'm like, I heard
you.
He goes, well, you didn't, you
know, It's like you always got
to give him that little, right?
He's got to be.
Good job.
Hey, good job.
Nice job.
Nice job.
If Mikey could be any animal,
what would he be?
That was an easy one.
I mean, other than the
silverback.
Big silverback gorilla?
Yeah.
Lion.
Oh, Bull.
I don't know.
Why?
I'm writing down your answers,
but it seems necessary.
I don't know what is the most
memorable or quirky habit Mikey
has other than the flexing
because that started when he
started working out.
Oh no, he's always.
He's his biggest fan, like he's
always.
Oh, I know that.
Right, always looking at himself
and, you know, Oh my gosh,
there's so many things so.
OK, well, one thing that he does
that really, really irritates me
is when he's, like, cooking,
right?
He wipes his dirty hands on the
dish towel.
Where should he wipe?
His like rinse, you rinse and
then you dry off.
Oh, OK, He doesn't wash them.
Yeah, he just goes from.
Just wipes from greasy.
Fucking avocado on the dish
towel and I'm like, you need to
wash your hands.
Well, he does.
He do the laundry, that's why.
No, he barely does the floors.
No, no.
That's why he doesn't.
Do the floors.
He doesn't do the floors
anymore.
He gave that up, did you, Mikey?
I broke.
I broke the vacuum, the little.
The robots.
Well, those things are going to
be yeah.
Yeah, we didn't.
And then we got a new one and
still then like.
The one, it's got like a green
light on it and so it's pretty
cool.
You could see everything that
you suck up.
Well, I broke it back so.
It like green lights the floor.
Yeah.
So since then he like quit
vacuuming so now there's just
dog hair everywhere.
What does he do now?
He does nothing now.
No, he hasn't.
Nothing.
Nothing.
No new chores.
Michael in trouble.
How long has that vacuum been
broken?
Because it came up a couple
episodes ago and he said he
still doesn't.
Yeah, I think it was like two or
three episodes.
Ago, he said he still doesn't
floors.
No, no, it's been, it's been a
few months.
It's been a while.
You know he's when he hears this
episode, he's going to listen
back to see how he episode it
was ago.
Oh yeah, he was.
It was still I was all right.
If Mikey suddenly became a
famous musician, what type of
music would he perform and what
would his stage name be?
Please call us, I'm good with
this one.
No.
Go to three, go back and forth.
I don't know about.
I know you're enjoying the show
over there, but.
I I don't know about a stage
name right, But like music wise
he listens to all different
kinds of.
Music he listens to all.
Songs like you could be, It
could be like Biggie Smalls, and
then all of a sudden it's like,
what is it like Disney show
tunes?
Yeah, his genres are, yeah.
Right in the car with him.
It's it's just crazy.
Yeah.
Yeah, and so maybe, maybe rap
he.
Actually, we'll be singing the
theme from Frozen and then we go
into death metal or or rap,
right?
He actually does have a really
good voice.
I feel like he can sing his go
to karaoke song back a long time
ago.
Oh my gosh.
Oh, please tell.
Us, please and.
Then we're going to play that
back to.
Barbara Stratford, hold on.
No, No, no, No, No, no, no, no.
The wind beneath my wings.
Oh my God, I can't think of it.
It's like right here.
Oh, I should have wrote it down.
But yeah, who sings it?
I don't know it.
Sounds like sing a few thought
that.
Sing a few bucks.
It's not that.
Oh my gosh, I can't think about
it.
Should have been a cowboy, no?
No, it wasn't that.
Oh my gosh.
OK, maybe it'll come to me.
All right, we'll come back to
that.
All right, come back.
Come back to number six.
OK.
If Mikey was stranded on a
deserted island, what three
things would he bring?
I honestly wrote down three
things.
But he is such a needy person
that I don't think that he
could.
I mean, so I wrote down cold
plunge, hot box, red light, OK.
But like no food or workout
there's.
So many other things it's like
you need.
He needs his protein powder, he
needs his water for his Mio he's
got.
The CPAP.
Water.
Pill the fucking amount of pills
he takes on a daily basis like
I.
The water pick.
The water pick.
Oh well, he didn't take it with
him this time.
The eyeball massager.
He said he told you to cut back
on some of the supplies.
The speaker he needs a speaker
The.
Speaker That we didn't pack.
I didn't pack the Speaker Yeah.
So I don't know what he's doing
at night time.
Yeah.
What's?
He doing at night.
Which is another thing that
freaks me the fuck out when
there's a man voice there.
All right.
No, no, no.
We're going to talk to that in a
minute too, because there's
nobody else other than the three
of us that have experienced
this.
Oh my God, he's gonna kill me.
Kill.
You, he's gonna kill us.
You're gonna go free.
What's the weirdest or most
unexpected item you think you'd
find in Mikey's backpack?
OK, so I mean, there's
definitely some Excedrin
migraine or Advil pills just
rolling around in there.
His lunchbox, can I say, OK, his
lunch box obviously in his
backpack, but the fact that when
he's done eating his chicken or
his steak, he just throws his
Tupperware in there and there's
fucking chicken and steak juice
that gets everywhere and it's
like so frustrating.
How long it took me to get him
to put it back in the backpack.
Normally it was all upstairs
like.
I mean I.
Playing anywhere?
I told him like there's
literally nothing else I can
more I could do other than the
next step would be washing you
and I'm not doing that.
I make it so easy for you.
Just close the fucking
Tupperware.
Picture you with a giant brush.
He's in the shower.
Well, he does have a giant
brush.
No, but you were doing it.
Oh no, I'm not going there.
I'm not going that far.
No, no.
But he's in there.
He's brushing and he's red
lighting too.
Yeah, he red lighted in the
bathroom when he was getting
ready.
Mm hmm.
I lost my place.
Time management.
If Mikey could swap jobs with
any of the employees upstairs,
who do you think it would be?
Greg.
To do nothing.
No, I don't know.
I don't.
I mean, I don't think you don't
want to stand behind a bar.
He doesn't want to.
Yeah.
All right, what's the most
creative or unusual excuse he's
made for being late or missing
something?
Well, he's late all the time.
I'm glad you said that.
Yeah, he is.
He's always late.
I like.
What does he always tell us?
I'm on my way.
Oh.
OK, well, he's never late.
Oh, because he's the constant
that our world should revolve
around.
Yeah, so you know how like you
see all those old men in the
mall and they're always waiting
on their wives.
Like that's going to be me
sitting with the men waiting on
Mikey like he's.
He's in the store still.
Always the last one out of the
house.
Like when we're in the car, me
and the kids are in the car and
here he comes, you know,
shuffling out.
And then he's got to get his
water and his energy drink and
his coffee and, you know, or
we're getting ready to leave.
What was it the other day to go
somewhere and all of a sudden
he's clipping his toenails.
I'm like, you couldn't do this
week.
When we just saw that, it was
super long.
I'm like, it's not Sunday night,
stop.
I'm like, and I said to him,
because he does it over the
toilet.
So then I went to go pee and I
fucking sat on a toenail and I'm
like, come on.
Like or it's, it's always, I
mean, he forgot this or it's on
his phone.
Somebody like just calls.
And he doesn't know appropriate
timing of maybe when to take a
call and when not to take a
call.
You know, it's like we're
unloading the car at groceries
and his phone rings and I'm
like, hold on.
I'll be right back.
Yeah, I'm like, hello.
I'll just keep working.
Michael, you take the call.
I mean, maybe it's appropriate
for him at that time.
I'm like, come on man, like.
OK, let's get back to the sound
things at night.
He does that every single night.
Yeah, so it started out with
like, just music, like a like,
you know, But then one night I
woke up and I'm like, what the
fuck?
It's like a either a woman's
voice or there was a male's
voice one time.
I think it's the first night.
There was a man's voice.
Yeah.
And I thought he was talking in
his sleep because you can't
understand what they're saying.
Oh no, he don't talk in his
sleep.
He, well, I thought, jumps and
runs.
Maybe this was something new.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Because I woke up and I'm
looking at him and go the
sound's coming from his bed with
his.
CPAP on.
No, he didn't have it on because
he was having nasal problems
when we were out there.
Yeah.
But then after I like, can we
just do music?
Maybe it's just music cause the
talking's a little creepy.
It is, it is.
I know I have no idea what you
were saying, but you're mumbling
all night long.
Well, it's from that book he
read.
Probably.
Probably some book.
And then he also plays it when
he goes into the cold plunge in
the house.
How can he hear?
So like if I'm in the well, he
he doesn't.
He doesn't put his head under.
No, I mean he's done.
Close the thing.
Oh, no, he can't close the
freezer.
He's die.
Yeah.
It should've lock.
No, that's what.
I'm thinking about they take
the.
Refrigerator doors off when you
throw an old.
Maybe I'm thinking about the
other thing.
The hot box.
Yeah, the hot box.
Yeah, I.
Don't think his hot box does his
head does it.
His hot box, his head sticks.
His head sticks out.
Yeah, You know, I've never
understood.
Like he has so many things that
he does when I go to their
house.
Like I don't see all these
things everywhere.
There's just so much.
Well, I know you clean it up.
I'm not saying that you don't
clean it up.
I'm just saying like.
Well, the freezer's in the
garage, you think?
That there's just like massive
amount of things just all over
the place.
I used to be in the bedrooms
just.
Still no, because used.
To be like in the corner.
So the hot box is not in there
anymore.
It is.
It gets folded up and put in the
garage because it comes out on
the patio and he brings out his
Xbox and he smokes cigars
playing Xbox and hot boxing.
Britney has a full.
Time job.
I do Oh.
Yeah.
And then there's the kids.
Yeah.
And then the children.
Eat stuff.
Everywhere I took a picture the
other day, I'm going to send it
to you of his of his setup for
if it's a gym day, you know,
because like he has this ability
to he's always trying new
things.
Obviously, you know that, you
know, and he'll like, show me,
be like, oh, this is what I'm
doing.
And then all of a sudden it just
kind of becomes my job.
Like he just stops doing it.
He still wants he wants the
benefits of it, right?
Yeah, but he doesn't want to do
the.
Prep and then sometimes he'll be
like oh you know I think I'm
going to stop taking those
pills, which is him letting me
know don't pack those for me
anymore I've moved on you know
what I mean and I and.
Then unseparate them from the
little trays or whatever you
have to sew.
Nothing.
So I put them in dime bags now.
Oh.
I've seen the little bags here,
so how many do you make in in
advance?
Let's say seven.
I do seven.
Yeah.
A.
Week at a time.
Wait, why do you put them in
dime bags?
I was because he forgot to take
them before.
Because, well, they're not all
taken at the same time, so, you
know, And so like his beetroot
powder, I put in a little bag
because if I didn't do these
things for him and I've done it
to myself, you know, it's.
Your own fault.
But if I did not have these
things set up, it would take him
probably 2 hours to get out of
the house like.
Because he would have to do.
It he would have to do it and
then he gets distracted and then
it's like, you know.
I'm not going to beat him up on
this.
I mean, Tia used to do a lot of
things from it, but recently,
like probably like, I don't
know, 3-4 weeks ago, she was
tired of the pill shit, right?
So like, 'cause she used to
always refill my pill box and so
she just stopped fucking doing
it.
And then there was one day I
just didn't take my pills and I
felt horrible, like my blood
pressure was going all out of
whack and shit.
Couldn't get your own pills?
Yeah, So I was like, oh God,
what's gonna happen to me?
She's like, it's because you
didn't refill your pills.
Tia, I'm dying whatever to my
pills.
She's like refill your pills
maybe?
So now I.
Refill my Yeah, no, she did so
now.
Well, not not to.
Kill it.
Oh well, this is empty.
I don't know what to take out so
I'm done.
So now I refilled my pills.
I, I mean, he would do it.
I just I try, I try and do what
I can to make his day go smooth.
So whether it be the Frosted
flakes with the spoon for the
you know, after workout meal,
all his protein shakes, his
chicken, his meal, his.
Go on.
You've spoiled it.
Yes.
God forbid anything happens to
you.
I'm not doing it, so I don't
know.
I don't know what.
He's going to do or he'll be a
wreck.
Oh, I said to him, sometimes I'm
like, you know, like.
He better die before you.
Right.
Wait, hold on.
We've done.
We're not.
We're not allowed to talk about
dying on the show or him being
dead.
That's not a thing anymore.
We're not.
We're not allowed to talk about.
That I don't like when he says
those things I feel like you put
out in the universe, not the
thing, but yeah, no, I mean,
yes, it makes.
You feel better.
He's got like a brain thing
going on over there.
Oh.
No, stop bringing.
That up right?
Yep, feel great.
I'm fine.
I figured you were driving it
was better.
I have the drive.
Oh, OK, so it's not never mind.
All righty.
OK, back to I don't know what.
You're talking about, yeah.
Any more questions?
No, no, I I only had 10.
Those are you've had two weeks
to think of quite.
There's nothing like you really
want to dig.
Nothing.
Oh, I know everything else.
I just wanted embarrassing kind
of general questions.
Liz, there's something else you
want to share.
How many times does he call you
a day when he's out like this?
What?
What is expected?
Like, my wife's pretty easy.
There's a good morning text or a
phone call, and then there's a
before you go to bed.
Goodnight.
I'm back in the hotel.
That's usually all it's
expected.
No.
I.
Well, you know, I'm like
neurotic and anxiety, so I
always like to make sure that
he's OK, you know, like I and
when I text him, if he doesn't
text back, I'm like, OK, are you
dead?
You know that's immediately like
his.
Location.
Why he's over there there.
Is there is no pooping, there is
no eating, there's nothing in
between, just straight death.
So he's he's gotten better with
just like communicating if he
like gets on the road, you know,
or whatever.
I mean, I don't expect, you
know, or.
Like, so he's got his phone set
up on some type of international
plan while he's there, so it's
always running.
Yeah, OK.
Yeah, like he Facetimes me all
like, right, Right.
Mm.
Hmm.
OK.
Just curious but.
Like when I used to go to China,
I would I would just turn the
phone on airplane mode and hit
Wi-Fi spots.
Oh no, I could call him any.
Because, yeah, because it got to
be too expensive.
Oh no, he's.
Well, he's paid by somebody
else, so the phone bill.
Yeah, he's he's yeah.
He'll talk to the kids, say
goodnight, you know, in the
morning and all that.
What else?
What else?
Any other questions?
No.
But do you have one question
you?
Have a question I don't You have
something you want to ask?
No, I don't.
This is the one chance.
I don't.
Oh, I, I, they ask a lot of
questions.
There are some things in my
head, but they're probably too
embarrassing, so I'm not going
to ask.
It might be more embarrassing to
you than him, so I'm not going.
To ask what?
Tell me.
No, they're not.
Might as well have said it, no?
Come on, no.
I don't.
Want to know what you want?
What, what?
What do we at?
What do?
We at 38 minutes.
Yeah, we're OK.
It's a short Joe.
He's out of time.
All right.
He's been episode 330 of the
cigars are podcast with go to
three Britney Steph I'm Kevin
do.
You have a shop of the week.
Oh yeah.
Do you have a shop of the?
Week Do I have a shop of the
week?
This just completely kills Mikey
'cause he never has a shop of
the Week, right?
Can I do smoke on the water?
Of course, because I just.
Shop of the Week, Smoke on the
water.
Told my dad about that yesterday
because he was telling me.
He was here on a visit.
Yeah, he was here yesterday.
Manny's in town.
He is.
He's at Mika's right now.
I dropped him off to do a pool
day.
Yeah, so, but they leave
tomorrow.
Short Oh, the wife was here too.
Yeah.
She didn't make the photos from
your father.
He posts the worst freaking
photos.
I swear.
He's like let's get a picture.
I'm like, I have no makeup on.
He's like, it's fine.
I'm like but it's not.
It's not.
People will see it, yeah.
You're gonna tag me and it's
always like the awkward poses,
you know, like the side, the
angles.
Right.
Oh, yeah, you're at the end of
the couch.
Yeah.
Where's the brown leather?
Oh, that's the the one in the
main living room.
Is no.
Well, we moved it all.
Oh.
We now have probably.
Have not been over.
No.
Well.
Because you haven't invited.
I just haven't been.
Over Christmas they got a bunch
of shit, way too much stuff, so
they have taken over the big
large room.
Oh, the kids stuff is in the big
large room.
Well, yeah, I mean, when you
have a trampoline and a balance
beam and a football throwing
game and, you know, X boxes and
like.
A Chuck E Cheese at your house.
Hot Wheels track Barbie Dream
House.
Wow.
Yeah.
Oh, with the giant connect four
that's made its way in there.
Axe throwing.
We have axe throwing.
Oh that's that nerf looking
thing.
You had that before I think.
Yep.
Yep.
So now we just is.
It merged into Mika's old room
now too.
No, I took over Mika's room and
made it like a office craft
room.
Oh, good for you.
I hide in there, but then they
come in there.
The kids, they.
Found me you.
Should make the door look like
part of the drywall.
Right, that's.
Where they can't.
Find wood.
It's wood.
I know put a.
Piece Well, you know, Greg's
really good at building.
I hear so.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah, you.
Can make a pocket door that
doesn't, you know, just play.
Into yeah, say that to my front.
Door.
Front door.
The drawbridge that has to be
lowered before you come in.
Doesn't work.
I was like, oh, I love this
door.
Great.
It doesn't fucking.
Doesn't open it up I.
Can see my neighbors, yeah.
Go around to the garage, I'll
let you in.
Exactly.
That's what I have to do
sometimes in the summer.
It swells and it sticks like
just go to the garage.
It's.
Such a nice idea when he.
Did it?
I mean, it's pretty.
It's pretty.
It's.
Pretty, it just doesn't work.
I just, whenever someone's at
the door now, I'll just open up
the front window and be like,
hey, I'm sorry, my just.
A drive through, What would you
like?
That's a prop.
Don't worry about, it doesn't
work.
Door it doesn't work just for
luck.
It's beautiful.
I don't think we've ever used
the actual key in the door.
I think I, I think when it was
first built, I put my key in
there and I went to go turn it
and my key broke off in there
and that was it.
So you could only use that door
from the inside.
Oh, nice, nice.
Yeah.
All right.
All right, guys, we're going to
go.
Thank you very much.
Bye.
Bye.
The Cigar Hustler's Podcast, its
owners, and its sponsors take no
responsibility for the opinions
or statements made by the talk
show host or their guest.
Statements or show topics are
not necessarily the beliefs of
Mike and Mike productions or the
podcast providers, and opinions
between talk show hosts may
differ.
It is not our intention to
libel, insight, or hurt anyone's
feelings.
We invite you to write the
show's host, Mike Stefan Kevich,
with any feedback or suggestions
that you have for their shows.
These broadcasts are presented
and made public as entertainment
in the hope that they will be
entertaining to the audience.
Show Notes
In this episode of the Cigar Hustlers Podcast, Episode 330, we sit down with Mikey from Nicaragua, and for a special twist, we're joined by his wife, Brittany! Join us as we ask Brittany the tough and embarrassing questions about her husband, Mikey. It's sure to be a fun and revealing conversation that you won't want to miss! Tune in for some laughs, insights, and of course, plenty of cigar talk.