Episode 106. We will miss you Kobe Bryant, No Officer he was with me the whole time! Troll Police?
Episode Summary
Mike Szczepankiewicz and Mike Palmer open Episode 106 with a tribute to Kobe Bryant, who died in a helicopter crash alongside his daughter and seven others just days before recording. The hosts — neither a big basketball fan — talk about why the loss hit them anyway, Kobe's famously obsessive work ethic, the tributes at the Grammys and NBA games, and the early reporting on the foggy conditions and the helicopter's rapid descent.
The middle of the show is pure Cigar Hustlers banter and industry gossip. Mike Palmer explains how a joking Facebook comment about "two-thirds of all cigar media" in one photo got him deleted and earned him an angry private message, which spirals into a conversation about how tone doesn't translate on social media and who the third member of cigar media might be (Charlie Minato gets a nod). They also cover the $5 IHOP gift card Mike sent General Cigar's Justin Andrews for his birthday, a visit to Bella Cosa on Mills and 50 to see Josh Fabello, a Pete Hernandez Patreon episode, and the viral "tell them I was with you the whole time" text prank — which leads to a call-in with Mike's wife Brittany and the legendary April Fool's story about Greg's willingness to make a body disappear.
The news block is genuinely useful for anyone tracking cigar regulation: the Fourth Circuit denied the cigar trade groups' motion to stay the May 12, 2020 substantial equivalency deadline but agreed to expedite the appeal with a hearing set for March 18. The hosts are skeptical of brands claiming to have already secured substantial equivalency, arguing the path to approval still isn't clear. They also break down My Father Cigars (JGG Tobacco Holding Company) suing Antigua Esteli Tobacco Corporation over a name they say is too close to La Antiguedad, and agree that trademarks have to be defended or lost — Mike shares his own experience getting a "Cigar Hustler" impersonator's Twitter account removed.
The show wraps with an intern search for the podcast and shop, the Doomsday Clock moving to 100 seconds to midnight, new listeners in South Korea and Ecuador, Listener of the Week O.M. Cigars (who praised the show for refusing sponsors), and a preview of TPE — including Mike's honest talk about travel anxiety and which industry friends will be there, from Scalliwag and Tobacco Jesus to Lenny and Sam Lopez.
In This Episode
- 01Kobe Bryant TributeThe hosts react to the helicopter crash that killed Kobe Bryant, his daughter and seven others, and reflect on his relentless work ethic.
- 02Cigar Media Trolling FalloutMike Palmer's joking Facebook comment about "two-thirds of all cigar media" got deleted and drew angry DMs, sparking a talk about tone on social media.
- 03The $5 IHOP Gift CardA birthday prank on General Cigar's Justin Andrews — one pancake, no syrup, no ice.
- 04Brittany Call-In: The April Fool's Body StoryMike's wife joins to tell her side of the infamous prank call where Greg offered to dispose of a body, no questions asked.
- 05FDA Substantial Equivalency AppealThe Fourth Circuit denied a stay on the May 12, 2020 SE deadline but expedited the appeal to a March 18 hearing — and the hosts question brands claiming they already have SE.
- 06My Father Cigars Sues Antigua EsteliA breakdown of the trademark suit over the name's similarity to La Antiguedad, and why brands must defend marks or lose them.
- 07Podcast Intern Search & Show UpdatesAn open call for a college intern, new listeners in South Korea and Ecuador, and Listener of the Week O.M. Cigars.
- 08TPE Preview & Travel AnxietyMike talks about dreading time away from family before the Tobacco Plus Expo and who he expects to see there.
Brands & Cigars Discussed
Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.
Transcript
Welcome to episode 106 of a Cigar Hustlers podcast. This week, we'll miss you, Kobe. No officer, he was with me the whole time. And the troll police.
Also, a special shout out to the Bali Barber. Thanks guys for on our way for our haircut and a cigar. This is episode 106, everybody sit back and enjoy the show. With the 13th pick in the 1996 NBA Draft, the Charlotte Hornets select Kobe Bryant from Lower Merion High School in Pennsylvania.
Really? A little tribute to Mr. Kobe Bryant who died over the weekend. Wow, you're gonna go there, huh?
I had a purpose. I wanted to be one of the best basketball players to ever play. And anything else that was outside of that lane, I didn't have time for. I made that deal with myself at 13 years old.
So everything I saw, whether it was TV shows, whether it was books I read, people I talked to, everything was done to try to learn how to become a better basketball player. Everything. Everything. Everything.
And so when you have that point of view, then literally the world becomes your library to help you to become better at your craft. Yes, Michael. The world continues to mourn the death of NBA legend Kobe Bryant, his daughter, and seven others in a helicopter crash near Los Angeles. The cause of the crash remains unknown, but it's reported the chopper was flying in very foggy conditions.
The conditions were dangerous enough that the area police agencies grinded their helicopters. The Associated Press reported that according to the data from Flight Tredare 24, a helicopter was flying about 184 miles per hour and descended at more than 4,000 feet per minute when it crashed. Bryant's sudden death at age 41 touched off an outpouring of grief for a star whose celebrity transcended basketball. Bryant and his passengers were on the way to the basketball game at the time of the crash.
Others killed were also actively involved in the sports world. So, our hearts go out to the Bryant family and the other, family of the other victims. So, did it affect you? I'm not a big basketball fan, but it is overwhelmingly on social media, and I felt that we needed to just say something.
Well, I mean, I'm not a huge basketball fan either, but I could tell you that, like, I was upset. Were you? Yeah. The guy was 41 years old.
I mean, he was a young, young guy. Yes, evidently he traveled by helicopter often. And his daughter was, you know, I mean. 13 years old.
It's absolutely terrible, you know. It is terrible. It's a hard, it's really, really horrible. Of course, Chet did this backwards, but that's okay.
I'm going to wing this real quick. He's looking at something on his phone. You know, the guy was, you know, like, I believe in having a hardworking mindset, right, You know, always putting in the work and, you know, always be the hardest worker in the room, right? Yes.
" I'm like, "Stop it. " Yeah, first thing I saw, I was like, oh, just another fake death story. I'm like, dude, he's so young. I mean, you know, no, like, no, man, I think it was like a plane crash or a helicopter crash or something.
I'm like, oh, no shit. And I'm like, God, man, this guy is just so young and so talented, not even on the field. I mean, what he's done off the field, like just, and having that mindset, so remarkable. Yeah, man, I was like, I felt bad.
Like, I had like butterflies in my stomach. Yeah. Yeah. Very sweet man, Michael.
Not really. Not a lot of things jarred me, but you know what, I just, I guess, I guess I just think about the kids, you know what I mean? I'm like, he's got kids. Well, the first stories that came out, there was, they were all on the thing, that even his newborn baby was on there with him, and the only one that survived was the wife, I mean, then I felt terrible for the wife.
How do you recover from that? Right, but. You don't. No, it was just, uh, not, not just, but it was, he had one daughter on the flight with him, and then the other people were friends and co-workers.
It's terrible, man. It's absolutely terrible. The one woman was a hand-picked basketball coach by him for the organization they were going to go out to support. And now the father is left with two young children.
I guess he was on USA Today this morning. You know, so, well, if you ever want to see the kind of motivation that that guy had, just go type in Kobe Bryant motivation on YouTube. That's where I got that. Right.
And you'll just be like, holy shit. I mean, the guy was unbelievable. So, yeah. Sad.
And thanks for bringing that into our podcast, Dick. Well, finally we're the first ones to get to talk about a news story. No, we're not. The other people will talk about it before this is released.
It gets released tomorrow. Tomorrow. No way, everybody else's show is later in the week. Okay.
Normally this happens on like a Wednesday, Thursday, and everybody else does their show on Wednesday, Thursday. So, we're the first this time. How exciting. And I'm dying.
Yeah. Excuse me. I appreciate all the well wishes from everybody on Facebook. But look at you.
The show goes on. The show goes on. I'm here to do the show. You know, I admire your work ethic too sometimes.
Smoking anyway doesn't matter. Just smoke through it. Just smoke through it. That's usually what I say.
Just smoke through it. Nicotine will hopefully kill whatever's growing inside of me. Don't be such a pussy. Just do it, you know?
Yes. Yeah. You want to talk about the Grammys too? Because that was, I mean.
No, the Kobe thing kind of crushed the Grammys. But they threw a bunch of Kobe shit in there. I was like, wow, that's pretty impressive, because it happened a few hours ago, you know? They did a neat thing at the magic game, I heard, too.
Oh, they all did the 24 show. 24 minutes of silence, 24 seconds, 24 minutes, I mean, a half hour. People get bored after a few minutes, I got a shit. " That was nice.
I still can't believe that he died. It's crazy. So, yeah. I am curious to see what happened.
They haven't decided yet why there was a crash. That's probably the fog. No, they said it's like if you took a small car out into a storm or you took an SUV with all sorts of lights and special tires out, I guess it was a very large helicopter more than equipped to handle that type of weather. Huh.
So, I don't know. I don't know, man. But that is the area where the Kardashians lit. Maybe they had something to do with it.
Don't make a joke of this shit. It's a legend. It's not so funny. You know, speaking of making jokes, let's talk about that.
No, we're not talking about that. I'm not talking about that. So here you are. I'm not allowed to anymore.
No, we're going to definitely talk about this. So, you know, you've created, you've angered some media people, some actual media people in the cigar. Just one, though. I thought it was just one.
Now it's some? Now there's more than one? Yeah, because, I mean, you know, it wasn't... How many people reached out to you personally?
First of all, you're obviously upset Coop, right? Yes, yes, I was upset Coop. So let's paint a picture for everybody. So Coop did a post.
All right, he did a post. It was a picture of him and Mr. Gutterson, whatever, from Dojo. And I made the comment, jokingly, as a compliment, oh, my God, there's two-thirds of all the cigar media together at one time.
Is this even allowed? God forbid something happens. There's nothing left. Right.
And that's all I said. And you got deleted. And I got deleted. And you got deleted.
I deleted my post. Now, I mean, you have been, if you go back to the last episode, you were really happy and excited about, you know, like you were doing like this Facebook trolling, and it was fucking hilarious because I was going back with you. Yeah. It was fun.
They were having fun with it. Everybody seemed to be having a good time. The developing powits guy seemed to like it. Right.
Matt Tai from How About That Cigar? Yeah, a lot of people found it entertaining. Yes. But obviously some people didn't find it entertaining.
Some person, apparently, not people. Well, I mean, you obviously upset Coop 2. Well, Coop 2, who's the other one? Not Coop.
Well, who else did I upset? I don't know who it is. Somebody messaged you. I don't know who it is.
You won't divulge who messaged you. You want to keep a secret? Do you know how to keep a secret? Yeah, you don't tell anybody and you kill somebody or something like that.
No, do you know how to keep a secret? Yes. So do I. Then why bring it up if you're not going to even talk about it?
Because you're my boy, and I will always protect you, right? Because you're in my circle, it doesn't even fucking matter, right? Yes. " Like, he ain't fucking trying to hurt you, calm down.
Like, I don't have to worry about that. Like I will never ever in a situation, no matter if you're right or wrong, if somebody comes at you, right? Yes. My answer is still going to be, fuck that guy.
I'm still going to say, you know, now we'll talk about it later and say, hey, you know, just a heads up. I don't know if maybe, you know. Maybe you need to come back, bring it in a little bit there. You might want to revise what you're doing a little bit.
That was a compliment though. No, I got you. I understand. I just think the problem is with Facebook and text and emails and shit is, you know, a lot of, it's all, it can be taken however the person wants to interpret it.
Was it somebody you were afraid they weren't one of the three? And I said two thirds? Maybe, maybe. Because I don't know who the third one would have been.
Charlie Minato. Oh, that's right, we agree with Charlie Minato. So, was it Charlie? Was it Charlie Minato?
No, if he called me angry, I'd definitely tell him to shut the fuck up. I wouldn't even bring it up. Because I think they're next, I'm going to start doing their stuff. Oh, you start trolling them?
That's nice. I think so. Give it up on Cigar Authority. They ignore me at Cigar Authority.
It's like, when you do a Facebook post of some degree, I think that you have to really put some thought into the words that you say. I think that goes for everybody, you know, because it can be easily construed as something else. How was that, how could that come off bad? Did it sound like I wished something bad would happen to them?
No, I think that when you've been going over and over and over talking about media, media, media, media, media, it's just like, okay, like, Jesus Christ, man. Leave us alone. Leave us alone. We're me.
You know what I mean? And we're not. We've come to that conclusion. Yes, we are Cigar Entertainment.
All right. So my boy Justin Andrews had a birthday. Yes. Oh, yes.
Yes, you were saving what you did. What did you do for Mr. Andrews? See, this is what's really funny about this podcast is I can't talk to Mike throughout the week.
And we're together every day. I'm like, oh, I can't tell you because it won't be as funny. " So I like to send happy birthdays over Facebook all the time to everybody. Yes.
You know, I like to look and see whose birthday it is for the day. Sometimes I miss them, sometimes I have to catch up a day or two or whatever, but, you know, I like that, you know? So I saw that it was Justin Andrews' birthday at General Cigars. He does a Diesel Whiskey Row and stuff like that, and Facebook gives you these options.
" And I was like, okay, fuck it, let's get him a gift card. Oh, get him a gift card. So I start looking, and there's one for IHOP, and I was like, oh, fuck yeah, let's do this, I'm going to send him a gift card to IHOP. So I send him a $5 gift card to IHOP, and he goes, oh, he sends me back a lot, I was like, enjoy your pancakes, bro.
It's going to be a pancake. Just the one. You get the one pancake. The one pancake.
No syrup. IHOP is actually relatively expensive. Can I have butter for this? No, it's not included in the $5.
Sir, you have the $5 gift card. I believe that this- You don't even get syrup. Yeah, mm-mm. Just gotta eat the pancake.
Just gotta eat the one pancake. Dry. No Rudy Tootie Fresh and Fruity? No sir, $5.
No. You get the Rudy, that's it. And the glass of water. No ice.
No ice. We charge for the ice. Oh. So yeah, I was really excited about that, but I didn't want to say it to you.
Yes. That's very funny. I don't know, like, I don't know what came over. I was like, oh yeah, let's, so good job marketing Facebook, because- Hey, gotcha.
I totally sent a $5 gift card to my boy. I wonder what percentage Facebook made of the $5. He'll probably never use it, but it's still fucking hilarious. He might, you never know.
Yeah, it's true. He'll leave it as a tip. It's true. Hey, just slide that over there.
Mm-hmm. 50. You go ahead. Yeah, yeah, I know.
Just go ahead and run this. That's for you. Just check that out. Just get that there.
Enjoy this $5. On me. So, my wife was going all weekend. You've been sick for a week.
I've been sick for a week. I think I got it again out Thursday night. We went to Bello Coso on Mills and 50 to see Josh Fabello. Yeah.
And it was raining a little bit. It was cold. I don't think I was dressed appropriately. They have outdoor seating.
You went to some swingers club or some shit? No. Will you stop with all that shit? Down in South Florida, there's a place called Deanie's Hideaway.
It's probably gone now. But when I was a kid, I'd always see Deanie's Hideaway. " So it's like a place where everybody goes just to trade partners. Oh, you went to a swingers' club with Greg.
With Greg, yeah. Me and Greg went. I traded him. Why isn't he sick, Mike?
Well, he doesn't like to kiss, so, you know, that's the way it works. Okay, so you went to-- Well, we had a good time over at Bella Costa. It was very nice. First time I'd been to the new operation.
Very nice. And then, what, Friday night, we had the big event here. Yeah. With Mr.
Peter Hernandez. Yeah, and your wife was out of town this weekend, you were saying? Yes, yes, I'll get to that. Okay.
Well, that's why I had all this time to do all this stuff. Great Patreon this week, by the way. That's what I was getting to, yes. Pete Hernandez did the Patreon with us this week for Wednesday for you guys that are patrons.
Have a good hour-long show. We actually had to cut it off because Pete had to get out there and get to work, but it's a very good behind-the-scenes on the industry, a lot of industry stuff. But my wife went to Missouri to go to her Scissor's birthday party. Yes, to pick up some fake Kansas City fan stuff.
Oh, actually, I had to wear it today. I forgot, just to make you mad. But anyway, some of her nieces' husbands listened to the show. Really?
Yes. " No shit. " And then they wanted to talk about cigars with her. No kidding.
Yeah. I thought that was pretty cool. That's amazing. Yes.
" No, don't anybody tell her what I say about her on the air. But now I will. You don't say anything off-color. No, no, no.
Just entertainment. Just entertainment, yes. " That's pretty funny. I thought that was funny.
You're a big deal. Well, you too, Michael. Hey, Mike Palmer, Mike Palmer's podcast. Hey, you're Mike Palmer's wife, right?
Do you listen to her? No, I'm her sister. I'm at the party. Yeah, no, I listen to Cigar Houses podcast with Mike Palmer.
Yes. He's a legend. He's a legend. So he says.
He has a bad sense of humor. So you sent a few texts out to some people this weekend, and you said, hey, a detective is going to call you if anybody asks. Oh, that's right, yeah. I did that Facebook thing where you send it out, hey, you're going to get a call from a detective, and if they ask, I spent the day with you.
I sent it to my wife, and my two kids, and the young lady that lives with us. Yeah. So my wife sent back, WTF, I'm not answering the phone. Right.
My oldest son, the famous one who cannot pronounce… Funti Funti Shanta? Funti Funti Shanta. " with a question mark. And then my youngest, Connor, who's 19, he called me to see what I did.
Oh, he was concerned. He was concerned. " Okay, but what did you do? I believe that Connor would fall under questioning.
I think he would too. He did it! " Right. But then Michael here.
Michael. My good friend, Michael. I just got back, definitely. Not a problem.
Not a problem. No questions. No questions asked. No explanation.
" Sure, yeah. Not a problem. Hey, whatever it takes, buddy. You know what I mean?
So, if anything ever happens, this is the man I go to. Yeah. And then I explain to you what I did, you go, "It doesn't matter. " Yeah, you don't text them first.
" I thought my wife would have my back. " That's why we don't have a house together. That's why we rent. That's right.
Don't combine bank accounts, don't have a house. Because you won't lie to the cops. That's right. For me.
I wasn't even going to send it to Greg, I just... Because Greg said if I sent it to him, he would have immediately drove over to the house, so there's no record of anything else. Right. " So that's kind of a funny story, and we'll probably have to call my wife for this, because before my wife...
We've told this story on the air. Have we? Yes. We have.
Way back when. So we probably have many new listeners that haven't heard the story. Really? Yes.
We have told the story? Yes. On the air? Yes.
Huh. Long time ago. So you can go ahead. So we can call your wife if you want.
We're at 15 minutes, 17 minutes. Okay. All right. Let's call her.
Let's call Brittany. Bring Brittany in for our Brittany spot. Excuse us one minute while we call Brittany for her regular Tuesday spot. For her check-in.
Check-in. Brittany. Yeah? You're on the podcast.
Oh my God, again? This is a new Brittany spot. We're going to do this every week. Well, hey, we got pretty shit-faced the other day, and you said that you wanted to talk about the story.
" And we were together. We were just, we just started dating. And I didn't know if you wanted to tell that story or not. Oh my God.
Oh my god, you know, it just now took to this fucking second for you, for me to get it. Totally caught me off guard. You mean when your brother's gonna bury my body or feed me to the fucking alligators? Correct, that's the one.
You mean that, that story when... Yeah, but we weren't together, we weren't married then, you know, but yeah. No, no, but I mean, I worked with you guys, and I mean, I was staying with you at the time, and it was a little unnerving to know that if, God forbid, something happened to me, So, to save the other guy's ass, my body would just have gotten rid of, gotten rid of, or whatever. Yeah.
So, did you tell the story? Do you want me to tell it? I did. Go ahead.
We're going to let you tell the story. Yeah, you tell the story. I was going to give you, you know, you don't get out much right now, because you got a one-month-old at home, so I figured this is kind of like you getting out. Oh, thank you.
Yeah, I know, I spoil you. It's cool. No, so, if Bobby and I were hanging out, I guess, at your house. Well, Bobby was a roommate, he was a guy, he was a guy crashing on the couch.
Yes, exactly. Yeah. And it was April Fool's Day. Okay.
" Like one of like, I don't even know how big it was. Old school, 65-inch projector. Big projection, yeah. Oh, heavy.
Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So he's like, let's call them and tell them that we were playing around and that you went headfirst into the team and see what they say.
Okay, no problem. So he calls you, you're at work, and you're just like, yeah, okay, whatever. I know you're fucking around, you know, hung up. Then he calls our other friend, Trees.
Yeah, we call him Trees. And Trees is like, oh, my God, you have to call 911, you know, call the police. I'm on my way. Okay, that's nice.
Somebody cares. He fucking calls Greg. And Greg says, "Don't fucking touch anything. Don't call anybody.
" The look on both of our faces when we hung up, I mean, he was, he was beyond, he didn't know what to say. He couldn't believe that that's what Greg had said. And I couldn't believe it either. I'm like, "Oh my God, I'm dead.
I'm fucking dead. " But you were already dead in the story. Yeah, but I mean... You didn't want to compromise Bobby's life.
How do you know there wasn't a pulse? I mean, like, I could have been saved. See, now the version of this, I heard, is that you called Greg. No.
No. So, I mean, 'cause that little made more sense, but now he's disposing of Brittany for this Bobby person. Right. Oh, see, that's a little...
Yeah. That's a little cold. Now, I mean, but you know... You're telling me?
The Britney-Mikey relationship was fairly new at the time. Right, and I guess he's really good friends with Bobby. No, we don't even talk. He's not even around anymore.
We don't even talk to Bobby. I mean, I don't know how I went to bed that night. Like, I don't understand what happened. I, you know, so yeah.
He should be getting you like huge gifts for your birthday and your Christmas after that, forever. Yeah, you know, because, I mean. Just call it the Bobby gift. This is for, this is for the body.
This is for Bobby. For Bobby. Bobby. Yeah.
Yeah, you should definitely bring that up more often to him. Like, yeah, do you remember the time when you were going to bury my body? For Bobby? Who's not here?
You know, I feel like there's probably been more situations. Yeah. And then maybe we're just not thinking of them. Like, yeah.
And there's been some sketchy places we've gone to with him. It's true. So he has plans to dispose of everyone. Yeah.
Given the right opportunity. There was a gun range. Yes. At one time.
Oh, I'd never go to the gun range with him. Oh, no. It was, this was like, it was very, it was just a trailer. Yeah, it was, it's true.
It, it did not, but I, I went, and I stayed, and I'm still here, so. " And you know, we'd go out there and shoot, I guess. I went one time. Now, I was really young, I was probably, I don't know, I'm 19, 20 years old?
Yeah. I didn't have earplugs. Oh. No, you did.
I think you gave them to me. Oh. Oh, what a gentleman. See, I'm so nice.
Yeah. And now I can't hear shit to this day. He takes his girlfriend out in the middle of the woods to give her that earplugs. It wasn't from that day.
I think it might be. You fucking worked in a bar for how long? It wasn't from that one day you gave me an earplug. I couldn't hear anything for like three days.
That's how bad it was. But did you lose your hearing? It's back. But did you die?
But did you die? No, I didn't die. " What? Oh, God, that's why I don't go there.
I want to make sure there's no plastic. But it is all tile, it easily cleans. Yeah. I'll wait outside.
All right, so I just wanted you to tell your side of the story. Yep. So the Steponkiewicz boys, we handle our shit. Yeah, we're just some guy named Bobby.
Yeah, but now, I mean, babe, you know, you're the mother of my children, so I think that he'd probably call. I don't think that fucking matters, I think that if I did anything, I'd go. I think if you called him with the same thing and go, Brittany fell through the window or something, we had a fight and I pushed her, she fell through the window, he would do the same thing, don't touch her. Why do you think I won't go on a cruise with him?
Oh, I know the cruise story. If he was ever gonna break up with me, we'd go on a cruise first. What a great way to get out on expensive cruises. That was, you know, because it was popular back then.
You know, everybody was shoving everybody off creases. Which is the thing to do back then. I was just kidding. God.
Yeah, I don't blame you. I was only kidding. Oh, you know what? He's developed a night terror story, too.
He could accidentally kill you in your sleep. Uh-huh. Yeah, he got a good alibi. He's got alibis.
That'll have to be another one. I got to go in and pick up your oldest son right now. We'd be here for hours if I told night terror stories. Yeah, we don't need all that.
We'll save it for the next Britney episode. All right, love you. Exactly. All right, love you.
Love you. Bye, guys. Bye. Love you.
Oh, bye. Oh, wait a second, Mike. Oh, I almost cut this off, too. I was going to hang up over here.
Click. Over. Oop, oop, show's over. So, yeah.
So, yeah. So, there you go. That's who you call. Good stuff.
Yeah, I heard a different version of that before. Yeah. No, that was... I think Greg tells the version where you called.
Yeah, see, my brother, he's retarded. Psychopath. He doesn't remember. Narcissist.
He doesn't remember anything. No. And he's a big go for exaggerator. Well, yeah, now it's some guy named Bobby.
Super busy. He's always super busy. And the TV wasn't at it before, either. Yeah, it was the TV.
See, I'm glad we got clarity there. Yeah, we cleared all that up. Yeah. I've been remembering it wrong.
I feel really good about it now that we got that out there. Oh, that's good. Now that's out. Now you can't ever do that because now you just told your whole thing on the… I'd never do that.
He didn't do that. Come on. A legend. It's all a legend.
Be reasonable. All right. We're at 25 minutes. We're gonna go take a break.
Let's take a break. We'll be right back. All right. Hey, it's Mike too.
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And we're back. And we're back. We were just having a discussion. Hey!
So, on to the news. Appeals Court denies motion to stay. May 2020 substantial equivalency schedules appeal hearing for March 18th. S.
Court of Appeals on the Fourth Circuit has denied a motion by Cigar Trade Groups to grant a stay on the May 12, 2020 deadline for substantial equivalency until after the appeals process is completed. It did, however, grant a motion to expedite the next part of the process, which a hearing is scheduled for March 18, so that the court can make a ruling before May 12. That sounds so exciting. You know what?
You poo-poo on my news. " That's not what I mean. That was good. That's not what I mean.
Substantial equivalency is expected to be the main approval process for his cigars once the FDA regulations fully in effect. It's just kind of confusing to me. Like, okay, so they wanted it sped up, they don't want it sped up, you know. I think they want them to hurry up and speed it up because they can't decide on how it is you're gonna get it.
Right. So if we hurry up and tell them they gotta do it, they gotta figure it out. Right. Haven't some people been granted substantial equivalency?
No, man. See, that's the thing. Are people just claiming that now? Look, the path to get substantial equivalency is not clear.
Right. No, that's the problem. So to say that you have it, I would love to have somebody call me and tell me how they did it. " I'd like to see how that was done.
Maybe they just said they filled it out, so they assume they have. " Get it. Well, it's not like nobody's going to fact check that. How do you?
Right, exactly. So, yeah, I'd like to see how that was done. I mean, we have everything in line. com.
That would be great. Thank you very much. I would be intrigued to see how, what process they went through to actually do it. Because it's not a clear path.
But go ahead. Next. a. , is suing Antigua Esteli Tobacco Corporation.
The Garcia family has filed a lawsuit against the boutique cigar brand over the name Antigua Esteli. According to the claim, the name is too close to my father's cigar's brand, La Antiguedad. Antiguedad. Antiguedad.
A. released an Antiguedad at the successor for the extremely popular Flor de las Antilles. Flor de las Antillas. Yeah, yeah, that's what I said.
Just like the Flor de las Antilles is old Cuban brand brought back to life by the Garcia family, but the brand never escaped out of the shadows of its predecessor. Correct. Okay, so someone's being sued. I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. All right, moving on. No, that's a big deal.
What is Antique Esteli? The question is why My Father Cigars is investing time and energy into legal battles with a small boutique brand. Yeah, what do they make? A.
Brandt. " Look, man, you know, the fact of the matter is when it comes to trademarks and protecting trademarks, you either A, protect them, or B, fucking lose them. Right, no matter how big the company is. If they feel that there's an issue there, if they did a cease and desist and they chose not to acknowledge it, that's the next step.
I mean, you've got to protect what's yours. I get it. They can't pick and choose. Yeah.
You know, after it's all or none. Yeah, I mean, I'm not upset about it. " It just makes sense to me. Sorry for Antigua Esteli cigars, but, you know, you got to protect what's yours.
If you have the trademarks, you got to protect them. Right? Mike Sz. Well, how would you feel if somebody came out with a Cigar Hustler podcast or some shit like that?
Cigar. Because it doesn't have the S, not plural. Well, we ain't got a problem. Is it plural, or is it a positive yes to show possession?
Is it our podcast, or is it more than one of us on the podcast? I don't know, I don't know, I have no idea, first of all, it's obviously your podcast and I'm just here, we've established that. I don't know, the Cigar Hustler podcast with Mike Palmer did not win the award. That's true.
So maybe next year we try a Cigar Hustler podcast with Mike Szczefankiewicz. Yeah, maybe. Maybe. Or we unsubscribe from him and we don't bother with it.
Yeah, I just, that's what I've done. Yeah, so how would you feel about that? We would go after, well, we haven't registered the trademarks. I have a Cigar Hustler trademarked.
Actually, you do, and I had actually, to use it for the podcast for our clothing line, I had to get written permission from Greg so that the company would let me do it. Yeah, I mean, I guess, I don't know if his name's on anything, but sure. Oh, well, he signed it. Yeah, it worked out well.
I have a signed document. That's why I'm the owner. I mean, I could tell you that I have had to stop people on Twitter and on Instagram going on as, like, cigar hustler, cigar hustlers, you know, those have always been issues for us. for the most part when i approach him i say hey you know you're promoting cigars from another store it's kind of a conflict do you mind changing your name nine times out of ten yeah not a problem right the one fucking guy the one that on that i think was on twitter that came and said fuck you i'll do whatever i want said okay no problem so i went ahead and i just submitted it to twitter - To Twitter.
" Like, I mean, I'm like, okay, like, I told you not to, I told you to change it. - I told you, I told you not to fuck with me. - I told you to change it. - I told you?
- You know, you got to protect what's yours. - I told you what I would do, and then you disrespected the family. - That's it, I don't know what else to tell you, man. I don't wanna be a bad guy, I don't!
- He's a bad guy. - Don't say that, people think that now, because you guys say that shit. - I lost to work if I am. - Okay, you're so fucked up.
- Okay, Mike, I looked into us having an intern for the show. - Okay. - I thought that would be good, we'd have somebody to actually run the camera, possibly. - Ooh, yeah, maybe different angles.
- Different angles. Moving, moving, moving. Zoom in and stuff, but an internship acts as an opportunity for a student to get real world business experience and learn more about their chosen field. Yeah.
For the business, the intern acts as a cheap source of labor for a period of time, as long as you are willing to invest time to teach the intern something valuable as they work. What the hell are we teaching? Well, that's where the first problem came. It is a great experience for everyone involved.
Figured that was a plus. And the intern may even earn college credit at the same time. Figured that was strike two. Well, how would they, they could get credits for videography or some shit like that?
I don't, I, what, 45 minutes a week. That's gotta count, something. I don't know. But there was six things you had to do to get an intern.
Okay. I know you love a list, Michael. Tell me. Okay, number one.
I just stopped at that point. It was too much trouble. I didn't even get the list. You gave up so quick.
I started to read the list, I'm like, oh, there's too much work involved in this. There's a lot of work I would have to do. It would be more work to have an intern to do these things than if I just do it myself. So I just clicked off that page and unsubscribed for whatever newsletter that was.
So what was the first thing? I don't remember. It was too much. It was something like you had to come up with like a work program, like a list of everything they're going to have to do and how they do it.
Oh, that sounds nice. " You gave up at one? Well, there was six of them, and the first one was... They could handle the videography?
But to fill out the work thing was, ah, it was his form, and it was so much trouble. Oh, man. You know, I can only tie you down for 45 minutes, well, two hours a week, one to do this show, one to do the other show, so it's not like you're going to help me do the paperwork. I'm kind of disappointed in the fact that you shot it down so fast.
It was a lot of work. That's what you want, it's all about work. Because Cigar Life picked up an intern, did you see that? You see that?
No. They have an intern working at their shop, and the guy's getting credit for it. That's where I came up with the idea. They announced on social media that a guy from the business department is now working there, ran an internship for the next whatever the weeks are.
Okay. So then we'll have them do both. What? So we can have them work in the shop, too, if you want?
I don't understand. All right. Maybe I'll look into it. I didn't even think about that, having them cross over.
Yeah, I could parlay that. Here's the thing. Oh, wait. Here's what we'll do.
Okay. If you're a college student and you'd like to be an intern for the Cigar Hustler Podcast and possibly the Cigar Hustler, the show, submit a work program that you think you could do here to help us and to help the shop and we will go from there. Okay. That's it.
I'll put it back there. Maybe the intern can do the work. That's the whole idea. Look, if you want to do something like that, then we'll do it.
We'll do it. Oh. com. If you want to build the form and stuff, I'll sit down with you and we'll do it.
Don't get so discouraged. Step one, you gave up. You packed it in. That's not my style at all.
I thought it'd be funny to talk about. Okay. Well, if you want to just give it up, then we'll give it up. But if you really want to do it...
We'll see. We have a young man coming on here soon. We have already started exchanging that's going to help us tweak the camera and things. Which is exciting.
Yes, it's very exciting. Very high-techy, tech-tech and stuff. Because we have a nice camera, but we don't know how to use it. He's already asked me questions.
I was like, I don't know. What do you have this set at? What is that? Where is that button?
We should review that together. I'll review that with you. When he comes in, I want to leave you. Oh, no, yeah, when he comes in, because he's going to come in and do the show because he has a whole business that we're going to help promote him and then he's going to help us in exchange.
Okay. I'm excited. All right. Next, moving on.
You didn't fill out a form for him? No, I had to fill out a form for him. Just some questions and things and some photos. He wanted a picture of the, what kind of camera do you have?
I can't even tell you that. It's an EOS, like 500 or something like that. Yeah, see, something like that. That doesn't, if you say something like that.
Canon EOS 500. I said Canon something like that. Canon EOS 500. So I had to send him a photo of the camera.
I'm very confident that it's a Canon EOS 500. All right, scientists have moved the doomsday clock closer to midnight, Michael. Do you know about the doomsday clock? No, they've changed it.
Yes, there is a clock where they have it set. When it gets to midnight, we're all gonna die. At what time? When it hits midnight.
Today? No. It doesn't move every day. But based on the way things are in the world, they either put it closer to midnight and move it further away.
Okay. They have moved it closer. The bulletin adjusted the, the bulletin, hmm. They adjusted the clock to reflect human-caused threats such as nuclear weapons and accelerated global warming.
Okay. Scientists warned this past Thursday that the Earth is inching closer to disaster. The bulletin of the atomic scientists moved its symbolic dooms and clock closer to midnight indicating that the likeness of a human-caused apocalypse has increased since last year. Well, that's really exciting.
The clock is now set at 100 seconds to midnight. Okay. Okay. It's the first time the clock has been set within the two-minute mark.
Oh, we're under two minutes now. Okay. We have normalized a very dangerous world in terms of risk of nuclear warfare and climate change, Robert Rosner, chair of the Bolton Science and Security Board, said in a public briefing. So there's more than one of them.
Okay. More than one guy. There's a whole group of scientists. They get together.
They get together, and they decide on— They get paid for this shit? Probably not. I don't think so. I think they do.
You think somebody's paying them? Maybe they get grants and things. The last time the Doomsday Clock's minute hand was moved was in 2018 when the Bulletin, a non-profit organization that oversees the Doomsday Clock, they're all getting paid, non-profit, set the timepiece at two minutes to midnight, the closest humanity's inch to the symbolic doom since 1953 during the Cold War. The organization kept the two minutes to midnight setting in 2019, citing what they called multiple existential threats, including cyber attacks, nuclear arms, races, and ongoing climate change.
The Bulletin of Atomic Scientists, what a great name. We are the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists. I bet they have like superhero shirts. Yeah.
Still started in 1945, and the group has maintained the Doomsday Clock since 1947. Wow, they've been getting paid for a long time. Is that after World War II? Yes.
Each year, the organization consults with a board of sponsors that include 13 Nobel laureates to analyze a range of threats to determine whether the Doomsday Clock hands should be adjusted. So they dropped the nukes, and I think we should assess now as to when the world's going to end. Come on, give me a fucking break. That's what they do.
That's their thing. What a waste of time. Cure cancer. I mean, for fuck's sake.
It's not like it's going to strike midnight and somebody's going to go, "Oh, it's midnight now. " Did they change? I want to know how quickly, how much it moved when Trump won the presidency. " Well, they don't do it daily.
It's once a year. That was a couple of years ago. It was a couple of years ago. Well, it didn't change in 2018, that's what they said.
It was two minutes to midnight in 2018. 2019? No change. It's still the same.
We'll just leave it around. 2020 now? No, no, no. Move it up.
Move it up a little. I'd like to see how they determine that number. I bet you it's the same process as getting substantial equivalency to the FDA. You know, you add the five, you carry the one, you decide what that little girl who likes global warming is.
They're probably a ton of shrooms and they're like, allegedly. They're normal prize laureates, Michael. They're very smart men. Hey man, you know, don't downplay the shrooms.
You know, they open the mind, I'm sure. They get you going. Get creative. Oh, there's a heart on my page.
That's my other phone. Oh. The bat phone. Is that the one that Jacob's afraid of?
Yes. Yeah, sure. All right. I decline it from this phone.
Oh, very nice. Technology. Show update. Those scientists need to be working on fucking Apple.
I read that Apple has enough money to buy Disney and Coca-Cola in cash. That's what I'm talking about. That's right. So Apple needs to be working.
Apple's got some fuck you money. They do. They're just sitting back there going, should we buy Coke today? I don't know.
Let's buy Disney. Let's buy Disney. Let's buy Disney. Let's buy Disney.
Okay, show update. We'd like to welcome South Korea. Hey! And Ecuador to the podcast family.
Oh, I thought we had both of those already. We've got both of those already. No, no. Those are new, huh?
Those are new. South Korea and Ecuador, we just got... Have we got North Korea yet? No.
Amazing. Kim Jung. Does that like the show? We cannot get it...
Oh, you know what? I'm gonna look into that. Yeah, check that out. Check that out.
I know they have not jumped in the family yet. There's gotta be one guy... I mean, it's not... They'll never come get you.
It's the internet. They don't have the internet there. Somebody's gotta have the internet. Just him.
Oh, just... He's busy looking to porn all day. We just talked to Dennis Rodman, we, you know, hey, just watch this show. Dennis, when you go there next time, show Kim the show, he'll love it.
Hit the play button. Hit the play button one time at the airport, Wi-Fi. Yeah. All right.
So, South Korea and Ecuador? Yes. Nice. Yes.
We almost have all of South America. Wow. And then our only really big hole is those little countries in Africa. That's a big deal.
So, we're almost there. I'm proud of you, Mike. Almost there. And some Scandinavian country, way by the top.
You'd think that that would be harder than getting an intern. But apparently, it's very easy, but the problem with the Norwegian or the Scandinavian country, none of their posts are in English, so I don't know if they understand when I send them messages, they're just going, what are these, don't these, I don't understand. We'll have to figure that out. We'll have to figure that out, too.
Oh, I could translate it with Google Translate. All right, all right, we have Listener of the Week, just a regular Listener of the Week, so we're in sponsor hiatus now. Back to sponsor hiatus. M.
Cigars. M. Cigars. M.
Cigars? M. Cigars? I'm not sure how you pronounce it.
M. Cigars, all one word. Okay. He commented, "I really enjoy your show.
Your ethics and morality for not taking sponsors speaks volumes of your integrity. " Look at that. Yes. M.
M. We appreciate you. You know, I saw this ad on my Instagram or Facebook page, and I was very upset. What did you see?
0 is now out. 0? 0, yeah, oh yeah. You sure maybe somebody didn't say that?
No, no, no, no. What's the difference between the two and the three? It's got better things, better charging, better grip, faster thing, better plastic. They upgraded everything.
0. 0. Yeah. I was looking on social media the other day, and there was a young lady that does wine and beer.
She did a Manscaped commercial on her Instagram feed. Interesting. 0 lawnmower. Well, you know, hey, women need to trim too, I guess, I don't know.
No, no, it was just for men, she didn't say, she talked about balls. Oh, maybe she has them. No, I don't think so. No?
Okay. I don't think she does. We don't know how they identify. Leave her alone.
Good point. Whatever. Good point. Oh, you know, no, it's not for the show.
I can't talk about that. We had to edit that out, and that would happen. Okay, good call, Mike. Pull that one down.
It was very funny, but no. Okay, that's all I got. That's all I got this week. I'm out of paper.
That's it. So, hey. Oh, wait. You are leaving tomorrow for the TPE.
I am. So, next week, we'll have all sorts of TPE gossip. Well, let's, I mean, you know, I know that I've mentioned this before, and I'm going to mention it again, because the day before I leave, the anxiety is up. I hate fucking leaving.
I hate leaving my family. I hate leaving all this stuff. But I know that it has to happen. I know that there's, as my boy Bruce Arians at Tampa Bay Buccaneers says, no risk it, no biscuit.
You got to get out there and put in the work. So, you know, the traveling and being away for me is probably the hardest part of this industry. And yeah, the anxiety starts to kind of rise. I don't like to leave here.
Anybody coming to stay with Britt this time? Oh yeah, she's already here. Oh. Yeah, I covered that.
Okay. I was just going to say, I know both of you are gone. Yeah, so you better stay the hell away. Make sure she had my number in case they needed it.
Oh, that's really nice of you. She does love me. She said so twice now. Yeah, okay.
She didn't mean it. What, are you calling her again? Yeah. She's not?
No. Oh. So, okay. You got a lot of appointments lined up?
No, I got a handful. Yeah, that's good. You know, it's more kind of like a... We're here?
Yeah. And the waters type of a thing. I've announced it on this. Yeah, but not on your social media.
No, yeah. I know, I mean, I know a handful, especially the guys that are on the West Coast are coming, you know, Scaliwag's coming, Tobacco Jesus is coming, Big Sticks, my dude, Lenny Smeagol is coming. Oh, Lenny. Yeah.
I like Lenny. I believe Sam Lopez, too, from Nash, coming. We probably. Arizona Cali guys.
Oh, Sam. I like Sam. Yeah. I don't think you get Sam without Rosie.
Oh, that's probably a smart move on Sam's part, yes. Lenny and I were trolling Danny with his stones the other day. Oh, yes. And I thought maybe we'd be taking that a little too far, sort of let that go.
At two comments a piece between me and Lenny, I figured, okay, that's probably enough. But evidently Danny's doing well, he was out in the park, it looked like yesterday, with his children, so... That's good. Must have passed.
He's taking it all in. Good for you, Dan. Living his best life. We hope you have a fast recovery.
Hope you're feeling better, and everything looks good. Yeah. Everything came out okay? Yeah.
All right. All right, anything else about the show? That's it. You know, going.
I think Saka's going. I think... Oh, yeah. Yeah, he is going.
Big Jack's already on his way there. He left today. Okay, I leave tomorrow. Yes.
When you listen to this, if you watch it, I'm already there. If you listen to it, I'm on my way. Yes, because the video goes up on Wednesdays. Right.
So, yeah. You're going to expect a shooting on Fridays, which is not going to happen for a couple of weeks. Exactly. All right, so this has been episode 106.
106. The Kobe Bryant Memorial episode. Sad. So sad, man.
So sad. It really is. It is. I don't know if we're going to see another death of that magnitude, like, in our life, or in my life at least.
You know, like... Oh, what, because I'm older? I'm going to die sooner? Yeah, probably.
But that's, I mean, like, he, the guy was like an icon, so, like, who else could, who else would die in comparison that would be, you know, way before their time and totally tragic, like, that's of that level. Shaq. I mean, yeah, Tom Brady, Shaq. Magic Johnson.
Um, Magic's older. He's already been AIDS, too, so he's not, yeah, I mean, that guy, you know, Magic. Michael Jordan. LeBron.
Yes. Tom Brady. You know, you said that already. You know, Patrick Mahomes.
Patrick Mahomes. No, not as big. Go Chiefs! Still got, yeah, yeah, fair worth a fan over here.
Do-do-do-do-do. Favorite, favorite team, Chiefs. Yeah, you and, uh, you and your wife, yeah, I know. That's right.
And there's Barry. I'm pretty sure he's not on the team, but... But I'll give you credit anyway, 'cause I don't know either. No, I just don't want to, uh, I just didn't want to have that argument.
I just wanted to just let it go. I was like, okay. He's such a nice man. Don't run such a hostile working way.
D. King Palmer fucking mad at me? You'll never be allowed up here. I don't want Eddie to keep power mad at me.
Exactly. I got to get back home and get into bed before she gets over and work. Nice. Good cover up.
Well, you know. All right, well, then let's end it. I play sick. I have less things to do at home.
Hey. All right, guys. Thank you very much. Talk to you later.
Bye. And opinions between talk show hosts may differ. It is not our intention to libel, incite, or hurt anyone's feelings. We invite you to write the show's host, Mike Szczepankewicz, with any feedback or suggestions that you have for their shows.
These broadcasts are presented and made public as entertainment in the hope that they will be entertaining to the audience. This has been a Cigar Hustlers Podcast, a Mike and Mike production. m. for all new episodes.
Hi, I'm doing, I'm Husto-I-Raw. Yeah, we just don't have to do a single, uh, single podcast ever again. Perfect. I'm good, Mike and Mike.
How are you guys doing? The Hojo, the Hojo! It's the Hojo! You didn't even let him fuck it up all the way.
I couldn't get past Hojo! All right, love you. All right, love you. All right, love you.
All right, love you. Love you. Oh, there you go. That's it.
Now I have to kill you both. That's a sign of a good podcast right now. It could be like four cigars when I walked in a door. All right, end this.
Show Notes
This week we say good bye to a basketball legend.....I find out just who I should call when I get arrested! And now we have to deal with the troll police??
All this and more this week on episode 106!
As always we welcome your thoughts and ideas on our FB "A Cigar Hustlers Podcast". You can follow the show on IG @cigarhustlerspodcast, Mikey @cigarhustler and Mike Too @fcc_mike.
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