Episode 108 Its Romantic! Happy Birthday Light Weight Heavy! Bag of Dicks?
Episode Summary
Episode 108 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast is a loose, conversational hangout with Matt Hunt of FQ Cigars — the distribution arm behind Powstanie — who stops by the studio to shoot the breeze with hosts Mike Toon and Mike Palmer. Before any cigar talk happens, the trio detours through Pizza Hut sticker machines, dogs Matt may or may not ever be allowed to get, and the mystery illness the hosts brought home from Las Vegas. Matt confirms FQ's 4x44 is still sitting on shelves, that Powstanie Phenom is back in stock at B&B, and that more Toro Gordos are expected at the end of the month.
The industry news portion covers the Trump budget proposal that would move premium cigar oversight away from the FDA, the Oscars bet the two Mikes settled on-air (Parasite, Renée Zellweger, Brad Pitt, Joaquin Phoenix — Michael took two of five and collected his signed dollar bill), and the studio's new internship program registration with Seminole State College under the working banner "Mike and Mike Productions." Mike also teases a comedy screenplay he started outlining after hearing a story at TPE, complete with cork board, storyboards and zero interest in giving the source material's owners executive producer credits.
Listener questions from the TPE recap episode get answered: favorite exhibitor (the RoomCraft booth, plus a running gag about the visibly miserable FDA booth staff), Drew Estate's oversized booth footprint, and the new Aganorsa Leaf release Matt praises along with Terence Reilly's marketing push. The news block covers Jose Blanco's Indian Head Cigar Company warehouse burglary in Miami — roughly 100,000 La Galera cigars worth about $350,000 — and the hosts' theory that stolen sticks get rebanded and sold as fake Cubans, which leads into stories of walk-in customers trying to sell them sealed "Cuban" boxes. Rounding things out: A.J. Fernandez reversing course and confirming a PCA trade show booth after Halfwheel reported otherwise, Mike's grudge over Brooks Whittington's 89-point Wārehead review, the infamous 12 tons of smuggled beaver penises story, birthday wishes to Sean Coleman and Erik Espinosa, listener of the week Franklin "BG" Bosco George, and the crew's upcoming Philadelphia trip.
In This Episode
- 01Matt Hunt Drops InThe FQ Cigars rep joins the hosts for sticker machines, dog debates and separate Instagram accounts for cigars versus personal life.
- 02FQ Cigars & Powstanie Inventory UpdateMatt talks the 4x44 still sitting on shelves, Phenom back in stock at B&B, and more Toro Gordos coming end of month.
- 03FDA Regulation NewsThe crew reacts to the budget proposal that would shift premium cigar oversight away from the FDA.
- 04The Oscars BetMike and Mike settle their five-category Academy Awards wager and hand over the signed dollar bill.
- 05Internship Program & Mike and Mike ProductionsThe hosts fill out a Seminole State College company profile live on air and outline what they need from an intern.
- 06TPE 2020 Listener QuestionsFavorite exhibitors, Drew Estate's massive booth, and Matt's pick for best non-Nicasueño smoke: the new Aganorsa Leaf release.
- 07100,000 Cigars Stolen from Indian Head Cigar CompanyJose Blanco's Miami warehouse is burglarized and the guys explain why you'll never see those La Galera cigars again.
- 08A.J. Fernandez Returns to the PCA ShowA Halfwheel reversal, Mike's gripe about an 89-point Wārehead score, and the birthday shoutouts that close the show.
Brands & Cigars Discussed
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Transcript
Welcome to Cigar Hustler Podcast Episode 108. This is Matthew Hunt with FQ Cigars. Isn't it romantic? Happy birthday, lightweight, heavy?
Bag of dicks? Let's listen in. We're recording. Yes, we're recording.
Oh, my gosh. Once in a while. Welcome to episode 108. Cigar Hustler Podcast, starring Matt Hunt.
Oh my gosh, hi. Matt decided to sit in with us today. I did. He has a story to tell.
Matt, go ahead, tell the story you wanted to tell. Uh, what story? The one you said you were telling. About the sticker?
No, the other one. No, but the sticker one makes me laugh. Oh, okay. Well, tell the sticker story then.
Okay, do you remember? Did you find the sticker? I didn't. So I can't even show an example of it.
Oh, it's tough dealing with amateurs, Michael. It is. People not in the recording industry. I know.
Go ahead though, Matt, go ahead. But your new stickers, do you guys remember ever going to the Pizza Hut buffets? Yes. That sticker you got looks exactly like something that would be in one of those sticker machines.
Oh, yeah, yeah, the machines. That you used to put the coins in and go bump bump. Yeah, you put it in four quarters and you get a sticker. You should get one for the shop.
I think that's a great idea. They just put cigar stickers in it. That's a great idea. They used to come in that little piece of plastic.
White paper. The white cardboard. Oh, that's right. We can have the new guy put all the stickers in cardboard.
Has he ever put all your retailers on? Oh, wait, that's another new guy. You need to talk into the microphone. Yeah, I mean, you even have the headphones on.
Now it's tickling my nose. There we go. That's it, perfect. Nobody's watching this one.
How about you, Michael? What have you been doing? You got notes? Hey.
Don't look at my notes. Don't look at my notes, Mike. You know, here's the thing. Yes.
Here's what's really, here's the shitty part about this, this podcast, is that. This particular one, or the entire podcast in general? This particular one. Oh.
Yes. I still feel shitty. Oh, I'm still coughing. So, I went to the gym today, and I got an hour in, and I was struggling, I was fucking struggling.
" Because you're infecting everybody there. No, he wasn't even saying that. " I listened to some, I listened to all the Patreons yesterday, I was sick a month ago, that's when I got this. " She thinks this is the house.
It's the house? Yeah, but unless you're coming over when I'm not there. Okay, when you're not there, I'm here with you, so. " What house are you getting in?
I haven't been to your house since 1975. Pretty close. Maybe when you guys did all the soffit work, maybe you stirred up some spores or something. The soffit work was like eight months ago.
It's been growing. Hey Mike, remember that time when, very early on in our relationship, that I went over and helped you guys put up your cupboards? No. Okay.
You don't remember that? Hey, Matt. Matt's here. Apparently, that didn't happen.
I already introduced it. No, that did happen. The cupboards? What's a cupboard?
Cabinets, Michael. Cabinets. Oh, the cabinets. Cabinets.
At our house, they're always bare. Just cupboards. The cupboard's bare. The cupboard's bare.
That happened. That's what I want to let you know. Only he went to the cupboard to get the poor dog a bomb. I know.
That's exactly... Do you have a dog? I don't. I don't, because I like to not have hair everywhere.
Well, my dogs don't. I have three dogs that have hair all over my house. The thing funnier is that's been a topic of discussion in his relationship. That he needs a dog?
Yeah. Now I remember why there is time in between these podcasts. Now I remember why. You need a dog.
I don't. A large. I literally was at a house. I feel Matt is a large dog person.
I am a large dog person, but you know what I've been happening? Like an Irish setter. Or a Labrador. No, a giant Malamute.
Or a Silverlab. Silverlab is a real one. Okay, if you want hair, don't get a Malamute. No, I know.
I like the fact that Palmer's just continuing to run you the fuck over every time you talk, and yet like you won't, and you'll just keep going. I'll just keep running you over. Me or him, we'll both just keep going. We'll just keep talking over each other.
We're on the same lane, just trying to talk to each other. No, I'm not gonna stop first. Yeah. No, I went to somebody's house that had three dogs, and it would, every time I would, it was my uncle, so I'd go over, end of the night, go sit on the couch, talk to him, the next morning I'd get up to go to whatever I was doing.
Yes. Oh my God, did I roll over in just a, in the dog's bed? It depends on the dog. I don't know, that's...
Like, two of my dogs don't shed at all. Now, the big one does, but my wife's a constant vacuumer, cleaner person. We bought that couch from Greg that year, the leather couch. Yeah.
It had hair in it to the day we gave it to one of our kids, and it still has hair. From? Uggy. From the dog?
White, white, uggy hair, yes. That's nice. Could not, could not get that hair out of that couch. Yeah.
So Matt, tell us about your dog. Tell us about your dog. Tell us about this dog you're going to get. Does Nina want a dog?
Nina does want a dog. Yeah. So he's getting a dog, then. He's getting a dog.
Let me tell you something. We've been together for some time now, and still no dog. Tell us. Still no dog.
She must not want one bad enough. I think that's also true. But I also think that she likes to be able to go places and not feel like, "Oh, we've got to give it to one of our parents. Oh, we've got to go board it.
" Do like Greg does. Just get somebody that works for you. She can get somebody from the- Oh yeah, and then the dog gets sick and then all my life savings, bye. Oh, well no, not that like red dust.
That's not what I'm trying to do. Not that far into the dog. So you're still in the Cigar Energy, Matt? I am, hey, I am still here.
Those cigars are still on the shelves, let me tell you. That's good. It's a great thing to have. What was your brand again?
Poshik. Oh. Yeah, it's pretty good. It's been doing okay.
It's been doing good, huh? Yeah, it's been really big on history porn on Reddit. You know what's funny is he just named the distribution company. That's because not only do I represent myself, but I represent everybody in it.
Oh, okay. Oh, team player. That's right. Team player.
Selfless. I like it. There's some retail accounts you need to call. Yeah?
Yeah. Not like getting kicked in the dick, so make some phone calls. Who? Actually, BNB.
Who are you? This is Mike. BNB just posted that Phenom is back in stock. Back in stock.
Why did they run out? It's delicious. How did they run out? Somebody stole them all.
Nobody smoked them, they just took them. Wow, that's terrible. That's going around. Actually, yeah.
We probably won't be seeing Matt for a solid, you know, six months after this one. That's because he'll be taking care of seven puppies, apparently. He's gonna have seven dogs, he's like, you know what, fuck those guys. Last time I went on here.
Mike wouldn't let me talk. Other Mike kept bringing up my personal situations. Yeah, it's ridiculous. It's terrible.
It's terrible. So Greg's in Nicaragua. Yes, I like how Mr. Moutet posted a picture today and tagged you because Greg's not on Facebook.
Yeah, because Greg does. Well, he does actually have a Facebook. He does. Well, he has cleaned it out again because he deleted me.
All of a sudden, he realized he had like 15 friends on Facebook. It's like, how the hell did this happen? Palmer. What if it was just Palmer?
He's like, that's too much. That one, Mike Palmer, that's too much. Probably. Well, what's crazy about Greg is he has like that weird, he's a weird Facebook stalker.
Like he doesn't, you know, he only wants an account so he can go check on other people's shit. So he can go see other stuff, right. m. Greg, that was me in 8th grade, that's weird.
Well, it's not even, it's Greg, but it's got a different last name. Oh, it does it? Yeah. And no photo.
What last name? Well, I can't say, because he'll get mad at me. It's okay. About to have 17 friends.
You see here, you got to understand something. This will probably be the only podcast that Greg will hear, because Skip is going to play it on the patio and he'll be there smoking. I like that. The one picture of him was smoking, lighting a cigar.
Oh, nice. Which is extra funny, because he left all the cigars here. Yeah, that is pretty funny. So Greg made himself a package, a care package to smoke cigars.
With his regular smokes. Like what he smokes every day. And he left them here. Not a single one made it to Nicaragua.
Which, I'm not going to lie, is kind of standard approach from my brother. I'm just, I'm not surprised, but no. No, I wasn't surprised to see him. But it's pretty funny.
But now he's weaseling cigars the entire week. This is going to be a good bashing Greg one. And he's like, oh, you guys always talk shit about it. We're like, no, no we don't.
No, no, no. Since we know that you're going to listen to this one. So, hello, Greg. We're going to have fun.
But no, he's down in Nicaragua, so he's working, taking a look at production, working on the War Bear and possibly that new SBC. let's do it only if you want to Skip I'm not pushing I like my laptop please don't take it you can't take the gift it was already a gift I feel like Skip would have one of his have one of his smokers come in and be like just get rid of it for me oh god who sent you don't worry about it so Greg's down there Yes. Yeah. He evidently made it successfully.
He did. Oh, good. He did. He did.
Which is exciting. Has it been exciting? Well, you know, because apparently there's already been some Toro test blends made of the War Bear. Love that.
Is that what he was smoking? I don't know. Couldn't tell in the photo. I don't know.
He's in like the background. Yeah, just living his best life. Right. Jeff Moutet is all up in it.
Right. Fucking all up in it. Love that guy. Oh, that means they're sharing a room.
So, maybe, they might be sharing a room. Oh my gosh, intimate. It's very romantic. I love that.
Now Jeff slept with both brothers. Oh, look at him. Wow. It's amazing.
But whatever, we've all slept in the same room together. One way or the other. Oh, it's right. Whether it was on purpose or not.
Whether it was consensual or not, it happened. Yeah, it doesn't matter. It's happened. Yeah, it just totally happened.
I still feel bad that you slept on the couch, Mike. It was a comfortable couch. I hope so. I felt really bad about that.
Yeah, that was not so bad you didn't leave the couch or the bed. Yeah, well, I also think. You sure? As he's covering himself up.
Drooling on the pillow. Oh, I drooled on the pillow. You sure you don't want to sleep in the pillow? This is the good one.
The good pillow. I mean, there's plenty of room in this bed. You don't mind me sleeping in the nude, do you? Fine, not a big deal.
I gotta wake up early and hit my Orange Theory. Hey. I'll try not to wake you up as I roll over. Yeah, I gotta walk past you.
It's okay. Step over the bed. Hey, I got some miles in today. Just saying.
Good for you. Yeah, you will. He was on social media that doesn't have cigars. That's not true.
He does have two accounts. You do have two accounts. I do have multiple accounts. Yeah, but you never see the other.
Wow. That's right. Which one? So why do you have two accounts, Matt?
Let's talk about that. Because... One is the one he likes dogs with. Yeah, that's right.
All I follow is a breeder. I'm a breeder. You don't like to intertwine your fitness and cigars? Not so much that, it's more just my personal life, and cigars is not so much the...
Why can't you just be you? I am me. All the time. Why you gotta hide it?
Well, 'cause... I like the photos I'm thinking. I don't know, do you think it's hiding? I like the gym clothes photos when he's got his arms crossed.
It feels like hiding. Sub alert! I don't think, I don't necessarily think that it's hiding. I just think that there's, I have more than two accounts.
I got all kinds of accounts. You have several accounts. So many accounts. It does.
You keep all those straight. Yeah. How do you hide all those from Nina? Matt never talks to us again.
He's never coming in here again. What are you talking about? This is like normal protocol. This is standard procedure right here.
So what do you got going on, Matt? What's going on with the FQ? What's up? No, so FQ right now, actually, we got some stuff.
I remember that 4x44. We're still sitting on it. And I think this is an interesting segue into the FDA announcement that just came out. Oh, you want to talk about that?
I kind of want to talk about that. I didn't want to talk about that. Just because that really made me happy as soon as we heard that. Well, I mean, none of it's happened yet.
I know, but I mean, I'm an optimist. I'm a romantic. You are. It's apparently not new information, though.
You are a romantic. You're a romantic optimist. That is true. That is also true.
And dog lover. And avid animal lover. Avid animal lover and supporter. I'm going to buy him a dog.
Well, you know that it wouldn't be for me. You would specifically be buying Nina a dog. Oh, well, yeah. Nina!
Don't let this be awkward. Yeah, this isn't weird, but I just wanted to get this for you. I want to get this for you. No hard feelings.
Here's this 130-pound full-grown, not puppy. Oh, Mastin. Yes, Mastin. This is a pre-wedding gift.
Yeah. Just really just jab it all in there. Yeah, just send it home. Yeah.
I still tell her that, what trip were we on, that like, was it the one, were we in Georgia? Where were we that you gave me a real hard talking to? You're like, are you afraid of commitment? Oh, yeah.
Oh, God. Geez. Oh, my God. Oh, man.
Actually, that's funny because I think it was on that trip also that we had the portable charcuterie. That was portable charcuterie. Of the pretzel chips and... Living our best life, man.
That's what I'm saying. You know, here's the thing about me is, like, I'm going to be brutally honest to you. You know what I mean? Okay.
And that makes me a good friend, whether you realize that or not. Do you feel like I don't realize that? I feel like you realize that. Oh, okay.
Yeah. But you like to give me a hard time about it. Yeah. Yeah.
That's cool. Michael, I just want the best Matt, I want the best Matt out there. I appreciate that, Michael. You've done, you've created the best Matt, really.
Thanks. I've, you're right. You're welcome. Yeah, exactly.
Thank you. You're welcome. So, yeah. I don't know what you want to talk about.
You should call his mom and tell her how to cut his hair. I don't know what you want to talk about. Yeah, if anybody has any pointers for my mother, I mean. She does a great job.
She does a great job. She's a haircutter. Not another, not another pair of scissors have ever touched this noggin. It's amazing.
Same pair since you were little? Yeah, same scissors. It depends on what I'm guessing. You're basically just shears.
Your hair is so fine, it just is not dull to blue. No, it's gentle. It's full. She tells me.
Yeah. You're getting some grays now too, right? Oh yeah, that's probably ever since I've started getting distribution with you. I'm here for you.
I appreciate that. Are you trying to tell me something? Can you see? No, I just knew we were talking about it before and I know it's a sensitive subject.
Oh. Again. Wait, what's a sensitive subject? My gray hair?
Yeah, you're like... Yeah. You should have your mother die. What are you talking about?
I'm not sensitive about that. I embrace that. I'm like a 100-year-old man that looks like he's 12. Oh, really?
Yeah. Like Benjamin Button? Kind of. Yeah.
It's nice. Good for you. Hair forward, face backwards. There you go.
It's amazing. Okay, this has been totally about nothing. Well, our entire show has been built around nothing, Michael. This is like a Seinfeld episode.
So yeah, there's that. So yeah, FDA, whatever. That news, Trump says that they shouldn't regulate. Yeah, he put it in the budget.
But he didn't say... Don't touch 'em. Right. Yeah, don't touch, just somebody else touch 'em.
Yeah. Yeah. Another agency will be... Another agency.
We're gonna start a new agency. Yeah. Space Force. Yeah, Space Force will do it.
We'll run the tobacco. How great would it be, just like that? Oh, sure. Like they have a commercial, it's them in a spaceship and they're just...
"Hey, you see 'em, boys? " That'd be amazing. All right. So, I could tell you a couple things.
Let me tell you a couple things. Okay, go ahead. You do have news though, right? I have some things, yes.
Usually my stuff comes towards the end. Also, can we also point out that you asked me for information? This guy's got an encyclopedia of content over here. Not an encyclopedia, there's a couple points.
There's a bunch of stuff on there. I mean, I'm not going to lie. You would have thought that he was actually on the committee. You were part of the academy.
You've really stepped up your information paper. I know, it's amazing. Oh, that was from our Oscar thing. That's a more Oscar thing.
Yeah, that's our Oscar bet. Yeah, that's right. We did this last week, but we have a bet. Okay.
We just did the top five. And he's just waiting, because I know I fucking lost. Without question. You want to go ahead and do it then?
You can see the look on his face. Okay, we'll go ahead and do it. Did you guys watch the Oscars? Of course.
I watched some of it. Of course. Why would I watch the Oscars? Because one day you're going to be there, so you're ready.
I love acting, yeah. Oh, that's right. It's your thing, isn't it? Did you watch it all the way through?
It's my schtick, yeah. It's your schtick. It's my schtick. Hm.
Hm. Hm. Hm. Hm.
All right. And schtick. I watched it as far as best animated short. I think that's where I lost interest.
That was like the beginning. Yeah, I know. It was like eight years ago. Like, okay, I don't want to go through this entire thing to see that.
I did enjoy the red carpet thing, though. I like that. I didn't see that. It's on E.
It was on a different channel. Okay, but anyway, we bet on one, two, three, four. Do you guys have cable? What?
Do you guys have cable? We have... No, I have DirecTV. We have streaming.
You know what I mean. Do you have channels provided? See, I just do streaming everything. No, we just do streaming.
And then we have a little antenna for the local stations. E is local? No, E is streaming. Oh, really?
We're slingers. It's very similar. Drop the L, add the W, and then you have the comments. We are not swingers.
No, Skip, you were right. Skip has already worked that out. You get a lot more people answering the Craigslist ad if you just make that one mistake. That's a mistake.
Hey. Hey, we're stringers. We like to watch stuff. Okay.
Anyway. There you go. The Oscars. He ratted out.
Okay. We bet on actor in a leading role. Yeah. Actor in a supporting role.
Yeah. Actress, supporting, and major, and then best picture. Okay. Isn't it nice when you can just tell the disinterest in Michael's voice?
Yeah, I know. Look, I lost. I lost. Best picture.
We both picked 1917. And it was not. Nope. It was Parasite.
Have you guys seen that? I didn't even hear about it until they started doing the awards. That sounds like the Oscars. Yeah, sounds about right.
Actress in a Supporting Role, I picked, who did I pick? Margot Robbie, and you picked Florence Puke. Yeah. And Laura Dern won for Marriage Story.
Yeah, okay. Actress in a Leading Role, I picked Scarlett Johansson, you called me a pervert. And you picked Renee Zellweger, who actually won. Boom!
Ooh, I got one. That's what I'm talking about. You picked the beauty. Actor in a supporting role, I picked Tom Hanks, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood.
You picked Brad Pitt once a time in Hollywood. Brad Pitt won. Boom! And an actor in a leading role, you picked Antonio Banderas, I picked Antonio Banderas, you picked Leonardo DiCaprio.
And it was neither of the Phoenix. It was Joaquin Phoenix from Joker. So you actually won, Michael. Wow.
You got two out of the five, I got none. Yeah. And you know, I only didn't go for Joaquin Phoenix because I refused. You refused to support the movie.
I support the Joker. He's not my Joker. So. Hashtag not my Joker.
I have your dollar. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. He had it in hand.
This is a heavy bet. And what am I supposed to write on it, Michael? I forget. You were right.
You were right. I was wrong, and then sign my name? Sure. Something like that.
You just open up Adrian's purse, and it's just like 70 of those. You were right. Of one dollar of those. So Abe does this.
Abe from Smokehouse. Oh yeah, I know. I saw it, yeah. And I love it.
So I totally stole it. You were right, and I'm just going to sign my name. Perfect. You have to put Mike on the top, though.
Oh, sorry. My name, yeah. Whoa, that is a lot of scribbles. All right, and we will, here you go, Michael, and we will put it on the backboard there.
Money. I just love the fact that Joaquin went on, like, this whole Save the Cows diatribe. Yeah. Stop!
He, like, yelled at everybody. I'm like, oh, my God. About saving the cow? Wow.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's like, you know, we can be better. And everybody, everybody that night was like, who's feeling burgers?
Who's feeling burgers? Everybody, yeah? Steak Tonight? I don't like how they didn't have a host again.
It's because Kevin Hart really fucked that up. Yeah, apparently so. I mean, you know, I would love to have Kevin Hart on there. Oh yeah, that would have been awesome.
It would have been much more entertaining. Did you ever see the documentary he has on Netflix? No. Me neither, I haven't seen it, but I would really like to.
Yeah, I've heard good things, huh? Yeah. Anything else you want to brought up that nobody's seen? I don't have Netflix.
What? You don't have Netflix? No. That's odd.
Do you have Plex? Who? I don't know, I just figured that if you're not, if you're not doing it the legal way, you must be doing it the legal way. No.
Okay, just wondering. What's Plex? Plex is a thing that, I don't know, you can have, it's like a movie. You can have everything.
No, it's like movies that are on like some hard drive. You need to slide this way some, you're a little out of the... Still? Out of the show.
Also, how long are we in this show that now he tells you? No, he must have, he leans that way. " But I didn't want to mess with the producer. You're such a little girl.
You just won, okay? All right, go ahead and tell your story now. We have eight minutes. Oh.
Before the break. Hurry up. Do you want to tell your story? I've got two little things to talk about.
Okay, go ahead. I'm going to go with the one that's going to be smaller. Okay. All right.
Please. When this thing releases that- This show? That very day. Tomorrow.
Yeah? Yeah. It's going to be Sean Coleman's birthday. Oh, Big Sean!
Oh, you know who else's birthday is? Poor guy couldn't go to sleep last night. Lightweight heavy. Oh, yeah?
Yeah, he had a tough time. Should we look at the camera and sing, Sean? No. Because they play it over the speaker at Romerker.
Do they? Yes. Well, Danny plays it loud, I was told. So everybody hears it.
Everyone. Okay, then let's do it. Okay. Ready?
Ready? Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, Sean, Mike, wait, happy.
Happy birthday to you. There we go. Happy birthday, Sean. I mean, so Sean is like my dude.
You know, we hung out at TPE together, and Danny wasn't there. Danny couldn't make it. The side-eyed is the hardest side-eyed. I know it's going to be on speaker.
I know it's going to be on speaker. No, man, but he's kind of been like a day one. Always been supporting Powstanie, off the rip. Guy's just a fucking amazing dude.
Big fan of the Shock Town. Yeah, happy birthday, Sean. Happy birthday, Sean. Hope you get to pwn some noobs and do whatever the hell you want to do.
Go to a little bike riding tomorrow. Something romantic. It's nice. It's good.
It's nice. It's also Eric Espinosa's birthday tomorrow. Oh. Bro.
Bro. Bro. Bro. Hey, bro.
Bro. You don't have his number, do you? No, I don't. I don't.
I do. I do have Eric Espinosa. But I don't want to call him. You don't want to.
It's a little weird. I don't want to call him. A little weird. I feel like we always call.
That's our thing. I don't want to do it. Okay. I don't.
I'm just going to. I think he's a little intimidated by Mr. Espinosa. I don't think that anybody intimidates me in anything.
So why don't you want to call it? Ever. Call Jack and have Jack in the phone. Ever.
Anything. Nothing. Then you're just bothering Jack. Yeah.
I just feel like I don't want to be repetitive in the show, the same thing over and over and over again. No, but people like that stuff. FaceTime him. It could be different.
Show his face. I mean, unless the producer has that capability of putting it in there. No, not yet. Well, actually, yeah, I could.
I could put it, like, right here in between us. We still haven't figured out why the sound sucks on YouTube. No, I know why the sound sucks. Why?
It goes from here, to here, to here, to there. So the sound... Deteriorates. Thank you.
Deteriorates as before it gets to there. So there you go. So that's why. So deal with the sound.
Ha. Because I can adjust this sound here, but I can't adjust that sound over there. Just a little bit. So when Mr.
Hunt was not going to sit down, we were going to have extra mics running just to the camera. But we only have the two. Good job, guys. Good job, Matt.
Just fuck that up for everybody. That's alright. Do we know how old Sean is turning? No.
No. It's probably like 30. Just a timeless... I was going to say, you know, he's just a young buck.
I mean, I think his daughter's 20-something, but 30. 30. I still feel like about 30. So he had her when he was 10.
Yep. Yeah. Oh, of course. Yeah.
He's been fucking for a long time. My boy, lightweight, heavy. What else you got? We got five minutes.
Oh, that was the little thing. The other one's a little bit longer. But we can break early. Just a little bit longer.
We can break early. Okay. Okay, we'll break early. Okay, you want to tell it?
I mean, I don't know, I'm very confused now. We can break early. I think it'll take five minutes here, five minutes. Oh, we can do the TPE questions real quick from last week because we did TPE and the questions came in after the show.
Okay, who is your favorite exhibitor? spring. My favorite exhibitor was the Romacraft booth. It was amazing.
Okay, so that's like you can't pick your own. Why? Because you always do that. People want to know something else.
But I like it. My favorite booth was the FDA booth, because they looked really angry, they were waving the smoke away from themselves the entire time. They hated it. So I think that that was probably my favorite booth.
It was the funniest thing I had ever seen. It's a little stretch. I don't know what you're doing. The booths are totally different at TPE than they are at IPCPR.
Like, everything was smaller, except fucking Drew Estates. If you know, you could put a goddamn trampoline in the middle of Drew Estates booth, which I'm a little upset that they didn't have a trampoline. And I really feel like they probably should have did that. Yeah, for sure.
Just something, you know, give me something, give me human bowling. If you're going to go that big, give me human bowling in the middle. Yes. You know, where you get in the cage and somebody rolls you there.
Might have been on the red side. Or, or, or maybe. I hope it's what I'm thinking. It isn't.
Maybe they could put like a, you know, a gigantic sumo ring in the center and you know how you get in that big, you know, those big out. Like that would be awesome. Like, hey. So here's the deal.
You get an extra 10% off if you knock fucking so-and-so out of those two. I was going to say the guy in the water pit, water tank, that is. Oh, like the dunk tank? Yeah, dunk tank.
It's just too messy. I said dunk tank. But that's fine. I mean, sumo.
Okay, there's a follow-up question. Okay. But it's from another person. All right.
Since you picked from RP Cigars. I hope we go over five minutes. We lose the data. Well, I'll cut it off.
Shut it down. Did you get kicked out for strangling anyone at the FDA booth? No. Okay, that was from Mike Wasp.
I didn't. You're just admired from afar. I just looked at that and I was like, I don't get it. Dude, what are you doing here?
What? Seriously? I'm gonna cut you off because we're running out of time. Wow.
Let's see, from Yogi1966, did what happened in Vegas really stay in Vegas? No, because Coastal Virus 2020 is real, and I brought that shit home with me, and I'm still living it. Only person not sick here, so I feel pretty good about that. You're pretty good about that.
I can't wait to meet you. Well, after you kissed me when you got here, though, you're probably going to catch you. I just want you to know, when you leave, right before you go, I'm going to rub my hands all over your face. It's going to be amazing.
Oh. Yeah. You usually have to ask for that. What?
You usually have to ask for that. No, not today. Okay, come on, we're down to two minutes now. Cool.
Favorite non-nicasueño from the TPE? Ah, easy. The new Aganorsa. That was it.
Oh, did you try that? Yeah. Great cigar. Great cigar.
Terrence Riley. I mean, I got to give that guy credit, dude, you know, I mean, he's trying really hard, you know, and he's all about marketing and production, and it was a good cigar. It was a good cigar. He's going for like this matte look, like for the orange and blue, which is interesting, because it makes me think of the 48 Laws of Power book.
But, I mean, I got to give him credit for having something new to release at TPE. That's pretty smart. Pretty smart guy. So.
Do you know if they were one of the ones who were originally going to the TPE? I have no idea. Okay. Just curious.
I have no idea. But they have so much tobacco, they could have just easily put a ban on something. I mean, you know, it's just ridiculous. Make a ban, throw it on.
I need something. Yeah. Oh, hey, shit. Just give me some samples.
I don't need the boxes or anything like that. We're taking a break. We're going on a break. Why?
Because we're at 30 minutes. Don't lose the data. Save it for the podcast. Hey, it's Mike Toon from the Cigar Hustlers Podcast.
Looking for high quality swag from the show? com/cigarhustlerpodcast. We have everything from t-shirts and hats to phone cases and beach styles. com/cigarhustlerpodcast.
Get your show swag and become a true hustler. Okay, we're back. Oh, which one? No, just complimenting your phone holder.
Yeah. This is from my boy Hugh. Hugh? He sent it to us.
Yeah. What a good guy. Southern Gunner. At its Southern Gunner.
My dude. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Good guy.
Houston. What's up? Sent me, and he sent me like onesies for my baby, like happiest little pierogi. Oh my gosh.
Amazing guy. Yeah. Totally rock that out on the weekend. Oh, he should have put pictures everywhere in it.
I sent it to him. Oh. I didn't post it for anybody else. Yeah.
I see. How is she doing? I'm not really about that life. Every once in a while I get a picture of my kids.
See, here's what happens when I post my kids. Oh, yeah. I get so fucking pissed. Because you get like, like I can do a picture of a Padrón cigar.
Right. And you can get anywhere between four to 800 likes. You know, depending on the time you do it and yada, yada, yada. I can do a picture of my son.
It's like 80 likes. I'm like, so the same... You hate children. Instagram hates children.
Same group of people saw my kid and they're like, oh, fuck that. You know what I mean? I'm not liking that. You know what I mean?
I thought of it that way. Like, ooh, dirty. Yeah. Fucking dirty.
So, yeah. So, you know, I post my kids and my family every once in a while, but like. Keeping your personal life separate? Maybe you need alternate accounts.
Not to a point where we're going to have separate accounts. Oh, okay. I get that. Yeah, that's too much work.
I still post stuff about my family on occasion, but, you know, I don't know. Oh. He says too much work. I have the Instagram for the shop, the Instagram for the show, my Instagram.
Which we know are all very active. Yes. It's very impressive. Daily post.
I said the Instagram for the show is probably the weakest. Yeah, because there's, I mean, what am I going to take a picture of during the week? So it's mostly when the new shows go up or if somebody comes to visit. Well, you can always post like a something link on the media or something like that.
We're not media, we're entertainment. Like Half Wheel does a post-it, some news that you're going to talk about, you say, "Boom". Well, I don't want to put it up on there, because then we're going to talk about it on the show. You say, "Boom", and you just post it, "Boom", "Boom", "Boom", "Boom", "Boom", "Boom", with the little orange sparking thing, "Boom", "Boom".
Alright, we've moved along with the internship program, Michael. Oh, so we're done with the TBE questions? That was all of them, there's only four. That was it?
That was it. I think we could have made that in the first half. I feel like the Aganorsa, I feel like I had more to say. You had more to say?
Oh, please, please feel free. Now it's gone. No, no, please. Yeah, no.
We had a break. It's over. So irritating. Okay, so we have registered now with Seminole State College.
Love that. But we have to fill out the company profile. Okay. So we're gonna do all this on the air as we do all these different steps.
Oh, my goodness. This is good. So, company name. What company name do you want?
Do you want Poshik? Mike and Mike Productions. Mike and Mike Productions. I better get that locked up before we...
Very good day locked up. Tomorrow, apparently. We need a logo. Okay, so we're not wholesale trade, so you want me to find something in entertainment, podcasting?
Yeah, media and entertainment. Media and entertainment. Okay. All right, we can do that.
Is Seminole State the closest college to you? Yes. Yes. And they have an internship program.
Program. Love it. So that worked out really well for us. Location that's easy.
Description. What do you want it to be? As far as? Mike and Mike Productions.
Productions. Yeah. Video camera, production. No, no.
Not what they do. We have to describe the company. Your greatest opportunity to enter. So, an entertainment media production company.
Yeah. YouTubing, podcasting, multi-platform. Conglomerate. Okay.
Company site. Megalodon Production Agency. Megalodon. Write that down.
Megalodon. Sorry. Megalodon. M-E-G-L-A-D-O-N.
M-E-G-L-A-D-O-N. Megalodon Production Company. This would have been a perfect time for a soundboard. Boom, boom!
That was a heavy... What are you doing right there? All I got is Spanish music. That's all you're getting there.
It's a bit of Spanish content. Company size, then. So we don't want... we want one to ten.
That's the lower... Company size? Company size. How many employees?
Or one to ten. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We should do the second one, whatever the second one is, just so it would seem a little better. No, be honest.
Please don't. Please make it the bigger one, then they come and be like, sorry, messed up on the application. We apologize. So when we said that there was a hundred, we meant two.
Yeah. E-mails, okay, that's the next step then. Because I was gonna do a Cigar Hustler, I'm glad I asked. That's all it takes?
Yeah, no. This is a production agency. Well, but you were gonna overlap and have them do stuff out in the shop, too. Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna do that.
I mean, we can, we'll see how that goes. Okay. But, like, I would preferably aim them to... Just for the show here?
Yeah. Okay. So, I mean, you know, what's kind of remarkable is, like, you work within the confines of what you have, And this is kind of the process of the production agency. So if we can add an additional piece to the production agency, I want to do that.
Okay. You know. So we probably need them like two days a week. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay. Well, I'm sure they could probably do a lot of stuff, like, say, from home and stuff like that. Right, if they could do video editing and stuff like that, oh, well, you don't want to give that up yet.
Well, if they're better at it than I am. Well, they're gonna be. Hey. Just because they've been to college and I learned from YouTube.
That's true. You might be right. I bet you they did, too. School of Hard Knocks.
That's where I went. That's where I went. So we need them in here, though, two days a week. Yeah.
Okay. We need them on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. That sounds romantic. Do you guys have any prerequisites?
The word of the podcast is romantic. It is. I do. I'm going to throw that in there all the time.
I feel like that's just like, I walked in, you guys are like, hmm, here we go, romantic. Romantic. Oh, look at him, he's so romantic. That's what I said.
People are very impressed when they come in to see the studio. It's like, oh, nice. Yeah. You know what's nice?
It's a big deal coming back here. It is, but which is funny because, from our angle, it doesn't look like a lot when you're looking that way. Don't tell yourself short pal. What about the boom guy?
The boom mic over there? You know what? That's what I thought of for the thing. We need a boom mic for the video.
It's just like, you know, going and seeing the SNL stage. Oh, yeah, exactly. I'm like, this is amazing. Exactly.
Exact same thing. Exact same thing. Yeah. Do need a little repairs on the walls, I think.
Struggle's real. Struggle's real. Yeah. Okay, that's it for the interns then.
So hold on, do you guys have any prerequisites for these interns? This is where Matt starts to get into his questionnaire mode. It's my groove, I'm just feeling it now. GarageBand, iMovie, those are the editing software that we use.
Correct, yeah. It would be nice if he knew how to work whatever soundboard we have, I don't even know what it is. They like to wear socks too, I need them to wear socks. Yeah, we need people with socks.
See, he got it, I was just seeing if I could apply for this internship. Nope. You've graduated. No, I know, but one can dream, but the socks, the socks thing really got me.
Yeah, he really likes to walk around with shoes without socks. Do you have socks on today? I do. He's got these loafers things on.
Oh, I get the loafers. Not today. He's got the tie shoes. He freaks everybody out.
He freaked out Embargo, remember? Real quick. I need to be honest. I'm going to admit something.
I don't know how to tie my shoes. So that's just why loafers... I mean, since we're going to talk about everything in your childhood, should I bring up everything else? Oh my God.
See, this is why you can't have personal with business, because God forbid I let you in. Ooh, the information I have, it's remarkable. It is remarkable. But you know.
But why is that? Because I was like, hey, you should take your kids, go to this school. Right, it's true. Let me welcome you into my family.
You know what it is? What is it? You're so romantic. That's what it is.
That's what it is. I feel a little awkward, like I'm out of place here. You guys want to lose time with the camera? You should always.
I want you to feel awkward. Exactly. Slingers, stay. Slingers.
Slingers, stay. Slingers. Okay. So what else you got?
So I got one other thing. Well, go ahead. No, no, because then we're getting into the news. Also, I want to make sure that everybody knows you've made way more noise than I have in the past.
With my crinkling and my fire. Oh, he hates when I shuffled the paper. I was about to say, it sounds like you were on a news network. So, I know what our first script is going to be about.
Yes? Official. Oh, what is it? I don't want to disclose it here.
Why did you bring it up? Hey, you want to hear something really cool? I haven't, you don't. But here's what I can tell you.
Here's what I can tell you. That's what I can tell you. Okay. The costumes?
Going to TPE. Yes. Cost me a lot. Okay.
Money-wise, you mean? Yeah, on a personal level. Yes. Right?
And a lot of things went sideways because of the fact that I went to TPE. Okay. However. Yes.
I got this story when I was at TPE. So, I think... Oh, if you hit a dun-dun-dun! I know, exactly.
Perfect time to do it. I really believe that this is it. This is gonna be... This is the one.
So this is going to be really good. So Oscars next year? I don't know if it's going to be Oscars next year. We'll be best short.
Indie film festivals. But I will tell you this, we're going to start mapping this out, and we're going to start putting this together, and I'm really excited about it. Who's the casting director? Because that's what I'm very excited for.
I don't know, but you know what's funny is... We do have a couch, too. Ooh, casting couch. How romantic.
How romantic. Everything's romantic. So, I think that we are going to have to get specific people for these roles. Like the people who told you that story?
Is this a story that happened to you? But is this a thing that happened to you? No, no, no, no. So then you have to get the people that told you that story, so it's like...
I need to get people similar to them. I don't think we can get Brad Pitt anymore, just won an Oscar. He's not available? He's got an Oscar.
I figured he was going to be very busy. Oh, okay. Maybe one of the people that lost, though. Um, Brad Pitt might have worked, actually.
Oh, really? Who told you the story that Brad Pitt would work? I can't, I don't want to disclose all the information. I get that, I understand.
I don't want to get ahead of it. He's been back for a week, you think he, for a week, you think he would have mentioned this already. You know what, it's like, it's kind of been. Save it for the podcast, Michael.
Save it for the podcast. He won't even talk about it. And for two, it's kind of been festering in my head, and I'm like, man, that'd be great, like, how can I do that? And then, dude, I don't know, last night, I just started fucking hammering shit down.
Wait, but is it drama, comedy? Don't you have notes? Oh, I have notes. It's definitely a comedy.
Oh, I have notes, he says. It's definitely a comedy. It's gonna be fuckin' hilarious. Family friendly?
No. I was hoping not, 'cause you heard it at TB and didn't think that was gonna happen. Yeah, so, I'm really excited. That is exciting.
I can't wait to see the pushback, 'cause we're gonna get pushback. Is it a domestic film or will it be international? Domestic. On location?
I feel like I'm playing Guess Who, but with a movie. We're gonna have to do several locations. Oh, good, I love that. We have to travel?
I'm gonna try and do it all in the state. Is it gonna be like a Blair Witch type situation? No, not Blair Witch. Oh, that's easy camera shooting Blair Witch.
So hopefully, hopefully you can lock up... Are you done? No. No, really we're not.
So hopefully we can lock up an intern to help us with it. Is there a dog in it? No. Sorry, Matt.
That would've been my... I'll get one if it could be in the movie. Stun dog. Exactly.
Stun dog. Yeah. That'll be another Instagram profile. Lucky the stun dog.
Exactly. There you go. It's gonna be good. Oh, proper.
Oh, proper. And wait until... I'm really looking forward to letting the people know that we're doing it. I don't see what they fucking know.
Do you think that the people... " Do you think the people... " They're getting flacked from just saying we're doing it. Yeah.
Well, I was about to say, do you think the people who told you this story are going to hear this and be like, hmm... Do we need to change the names to protect the innocent? Well, I mean, it's just like, what's that guy's name who does Law & Order? If they don't want to roll with it...
Talking about Dick Wolf? Yeah. You know, ripped from the headlines. You know?
Bum, bum, bum. Gosh, we need a soundboard. This is a we thing now. I'm the best in the soundboard.
I'm here, I'm here. Matt's our new third guy now for the next. Yeah, I'm the intern. Hey!
I think that, you know, if they don't, I think that they'll go for it. I think that they'll be kind of humbled or flattered that I want to do it. " Maybe you can ask them to be executive producers or something. No, I don't want to give them any ability.
Oh, jeez. No control at all. That's the best, that's the best. You really are trying to get into show business.
The show business is just trying to screw everybody on the way up, huh? Well, there's, we're not, nobody's gonna be making any money on this thing. You never know. It's just gonna be entertainment.
Just pure. Which is just like the show. Unadulterated. Just like the show.
We're just entertainment people. And when, I'm telling you, I'm really excited. That's really exciting. I'm really excited about it.
Okay, but now I'm interested in more how deep into your, like, screenplays are you getting? Is it just notes on a piece of paper, or like, you're trying to format things? Well, first you gotta break it down in your cards and frames. The frames, yeah, you've got the storyboard.
You've got the storyboard. Okay, are you there? No. Oh, okay.
That's what I was wondering. I didn't know if it was just that. I started writing all this shit down yesterday. Nice.
There will be a cork board up this week, right there, and we will start piecing. Are people going to be able to see the progress? No. Okay.
So it's just going to be just out of... Yeah, and we're going to start piecing it together. And then we'll start working on the scripts, the scripts together. You're going to tell us after the show?
Yeah, we can talk about it. Okay, so this wraps up a Cigar Hustler podcast episode. I'm glad that you're excited. Well, I hate not knowing things.
I've got my dollar. There's a dollar. All right, cigar thieves steal 100,000 cigars from the Indian Head Cigar Company, Michael. Happens a lot.
If you happen to come across inexplicably large amounts of La Galera cigars on sale at discount, you should probably alert the authorities. Jose Blanco, owner of Indian Head Cigar Company, announced today that the Indian Head distribution warehouse in Miami was burglarized on Saturday. This is about a week old. Guestmates said 100,000 cigars were stolen with a wholesale value of around $350,000.
What are they going to do with that? You know what? It's funny that you said it, because I was just thinking it. Just thinking what they're going to do.
If I were that guy, if I were some slapdick fucking thief, I would go and fucking rip all this shit from a cigar store or cigar warehouse. And then I would unband all of them and make them say fucking Cohiba, Cuban. Especially in Miami, everybody. Because, yeah.
" Right? If it's a legit job, that's what they're gonna do. So you're never gonna see it. Yeah.
You never see, yeah, never see the La Galera name on them. So, you know. The cigars are made in the Dominican Republic at Blanco Tabula Palma Factory. Blanco also grows tobacco in the Dominican Republic.
Which sucks, man. That's complete bullshit. It does. Once a year, some large thing hits them.
It's like an annual thing. You think it's the same guy? Could be. Hmm, that's interesting.
Could be. Did they ever catch the guys from the last? I don't know, I've always heard, "Oh, we're really close," but like... Are you, though?
Yeah, I don't feel... How do you track that? " All of a sudden, you know... There are just more cigars?
All of a sudden, there's a lot of Cubans, again, who start to flourish, right? Because, I mean, you're going to get- That actually makes perfectly good sense. You're going to get it for a mint, right? Oh, these are, "My cousin flies into Cuba," and, you know, that whole fucking spiel bullshit.
And these ones don't fall apart. " Oh, that guy from last week. " a briefcase of valise type thing. He's like, don't open it.
I'm like, okay, so you don't want me to open the box? He's like, no, because it's sealed. I was like, well, how do I know if they're real or not? I'm like, and to be honest, dude, let me tell you, there's no information on here that makes me think that it's Cuban.
Well, what do you think about that piece of paper? You know, when they have like the thing on the outside. Yeah. I'm like, it's always replicated, dude.
You know, so. You don't even know if the cigars are in the box. He's like, "I know where I got these from," and he flies to Cuba. " I'm like, you know, you're getting-- Did he want you to buy 'em or just-- Yeah, he wanted to sell 'em to me.
I'm like, "Okay, I got these from a warehouse. " Yeah. They should be Cuban. " Yeah, they did.
You heard of La Galera's? 'Cause they, you know, taste just like those. Yeah, taste just like those. Right.
I was just like, "Okay, man. " How often does that happen? More than you'd think. Yeah.
Really, people just, randos, just coming in. Yeah, like, hey, I got these Cubans, what do you think of these? My friend, and it's usually my friend goes and visits Cuba. I'm like, okay, I can't help you.
Did you notice when you moved it, if the cigars moved in the box, they say that's the way? They did roll. They did roll? Yeah.
So that's the way they say you can tell, too. But there was no telling this guy. Yeah. Like, I was a complete asshole once I told him, dude.
Nah, you were nice. I mean, the guy didn't get mad or offended, but it was going that way. No, he flexed back pretty quickly. He did, and he did say, "No, no, no, I got him, bro.
" And then that's when I just said, "Was it Erik Espinosa that he did? " No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Brother. Not brother, he says bro.
Bro. But you know what? I don't think he's been saying bro as much. No?
No. Bro, I guess everybody's giving him such a hard time. He's been toning down his bro. Yeah.
It's crazy. Yeah. What kind of world are we living in where Erik Espinosa can't say bro? He can't say bro anymore.
It's fucked up. I gotta tell you. All right. " That's a lot of penises, a lot of penises.
Wait till you hear what they're worth. " Okay. "A total of 94 bags holding thousands of penises each were seized on board a Canadian ship transporting mostly wood products and minerals. 7 tons of penine?
Penises? Penine? According to state media, beaver penises are used in traditional Chinese medicine to cure erectile dysfunction and increase sexual vigor. That's ironic.
Wow, the people are dying over there. They have to get the population back. Yeah, they're taking anything. I feel like they're...
Okay. What? I'm going to shut up. I don't need the Chinese government to kill me.
The Chinese General Administration of Customs gave a long press conference for the value. Oh, based on reported black market prices for the scales, The custom agency estimated that it sees penises would have been worth more than, you guys have to guess. 57 million dollars. You?
I would say close to half a billion. 24 million US dollars. I was way off. I was closer.
You were closer. The investigation. I have my finger on the pulse of the beaver penis. I'm not going to lie, for 12 tons of penises, that doesn't sound like a lot of money.
Well, I mean, imagine. Have you seen a beaver penis? It's not extremely large. That's my point.
There was a picture with the article. Oh, I was about to say, because when did you guys look this up? There's over half. Which is in the news today.
If there's over half. And they had a picture of the penises? In the bag. Yes, they had a picture of a bag of...
Of dicks. It's a bag of dicks. It was actually a bag of dicks. A bag of dicks.
Actually, a bag of dicks. You know, they would have done much better in the United States market with a bag of dicks. They could just ship them to people's houses. Valentine's Day is coming up.
We don't need them for erectile expulsion. We just want to throw them at people. Throw the entire bag. Apparently, beaver and deer penises from North America are openly sold in Chinese traditional medicine stores throughout the country.
We have the best beaver dicks. I was about to say, just North America. Wow. I mean, how do you go about getting half a million beaver penises?
Well, they cut them off the beavers. Well, it's funny, you said that the ship was transporting a bunch of wood products? Yes. It's like, what, with every tree, you get a bag of dicks?
It's like, chop them down, get with a bag of dicks. China's the world's largest market for animal parts trafficking. Experts estimate the market value of animal parts illegally imported on the Chinese market between $40, and $50 billion annually. " I really could go for some beaver dick.
You know, the guy who was part of that ring who shipped them all must be really upset. That was a lot of work. I had to go one by one. That was terrible.
Each little beaver dicks I had to kill. Let's see. I can't believe we're talking about this. Well, it's funny, as you were saying that, I was like, "If they take any snippet from this, I don't want to snip it from this.
Please let it be this one. I really want it to be this snippet. Also big is rhino penises, bangolins. But there can be 12 tons of those.
Of rhinos? Well, that's only three, though. Yeah, just the one. That's what I'm saying, just the single.
Siberian tiger dicks are big, too. In bulk. But you only need the one there, too. Can you get them at Costco?
In China, yes. All organic? All organic. Siberian tiger dick.
J. Fernandez is going to exhibit at the PCA Tread Show. Nice transition. Yes.
Excellent segue. Speaking of… Speaking of… Bag of dicks. But I only mention this because we talked about it briefly last week. Yeah.
Or on the Patreon, I believe. Yeah, so apparently… It was Half Wheel. J. Fernandez has confirmed to Half Wheel that the company will in fact have a booth on the show floor.
Well, that's good. So we figured out who did it. Half Wheel was the one who leaked the story that they were not going. Oh, they leaked it, and it was wrong.
Yes. Wow, Charlie, what the fuck is that about, dude? The company is committed to manufacturing, I don't feel like Charlie listens, manufacturing the best premium cigars in the world. If you make the comment, someone will send it to him.
Oh. So, have at it, boys. Charlie, what the fuck is up with that? Maybe he needs a beaver penis.
I thought you were media, bro. Oh, shit and load, I don't know. That's crazy. Look, here's the deal, look, I'm gonna be a little jaded toward Half Wheel, Because Brooks did the war bear, and he rated it 89, so it didn't qualify for their top yada yada.
Their top 25 has to be 90 or higher. That's irritating, because he probably got an 89 as well. So, here's the thing, that IPCPR, I harassed the shit out of Brooks, and I guarantee you that it at least cost me one point. At minimum, one point.
I mean, he was getting frustrated to a point where he was like, dude, I mean, I just need to take some pictures of this booth. I'm like, please, can you leave me alone? You know? Oh, he actually had to bow up on you a little bit.
So, um, no, he didn't say that. But you could tell that he, you could tell that he was getting, allegedly, allegedly, he allegedly said that, allegedly. You could tell that he was getting frustrated with me. So, I mean, if Patrick did that, it was probably like a 94.
Easy. Maybe this year you should be exceptionally nice to him. No. 89 and a half.
No? I don't know. Dude, you gave me an 89? You gave me an 89?
I mean, I really don't care, but whatever. It's pretty funny. All right. Well, we're almost done here.
We've got eight minutes, and then we have to take another break. Do you think we're going to get a comment because everybody's going to think that we called AJ Fernandez a bag of dicks? I didn't call AJ Fernandez a bag of dicks. It was just a next story on the line.
It was just a segue. It was just a segue. He's not a bag of dicks. Just going down through the stories.
That guy's actually really talented. And stuff. And stuff. Okay, we have a listener of the week.
Yeah. Franklin Bosco George. My man. Listener of the week.
Yes. All the way in high rank. Can we talk about how these headphones really amplify that? That's great.
Wow. Well, we just ring it then one time. My boy BG. He has been a longtime customer and great friend of the store for a long time.
He even calls from my ranking. From a long time. Just like cha-cha? Well, checking his order and stuff.
Like, where are my cigars? Yeah. People are shooting at me. He's a good guy.
I need to relax at the end of the day with a cigar. The guy is of top-notch caliber, and he stopped in one day, he stopped in, and I wasn't here. Oh. Yeah, so I haven't met him, and we've been...
FaceTime. We've been doing business together for years. Shit, FaceTime him from Iraq. Yeah.
We'll bring him on the show. It's still not the same. Not the same. Yeah.
All right, the 27th, the 29th, Michael, where are we going? We're going to Philly. We're taking the show to Philly. We're going to Philadelphia.
City of brotherly love. We've been there. We have. We have.
We were brothers and we were loving. We had a cheesesteak together. We did have a cheesesteak together. Oh, is this going to be an awkward trip where you're just going to be moping going, Matt and I sat here and had a sandwich?
We sat in this exact spot. I sat here with Matt that one time and we shared a cheesesteak. He ate from one end, I ate from the other. He met in the middle of the sandwich.
I hear a lot of jealousy there. Oh, yeah, he's totally jealous. I'm totally jealous. I'm totally jealous.
Because you've been there before. Now it's going to ruin my trip. So, yeah, we're going to Philadelphia Cigar Company? We're going to Philadelphia Cigar, oh, that's where the actual event is.
That's where the event's going to be, yes. We're also going to pop into Capelli Brothers, B&B, and Harry's Smoke Shop. Don't forget about my boy Smoke Manioc. You didn't mention that one earlier.
I did, you just weren't listening. I don't think so, I hear everything you're saying. Look, I have to go back to the guy who gave me the Costa Virus in Vegas, and that's him. Oh, is that Patient Zero?
We should take a mask, and when we go in, wear the mask. Patient zero. With a little Powstanie. Yeah, with a P on it.
Oh, we've got those. We could do that. That's nice. Yeah, I like it.
I like where your head's at. It's a great idea. Want me to bring the apron? No.
Don't bring the apron. Leave the apron here. When he put it on, I was like, barbecue? What's going on there?
Yeah, they made Hustler Mafia. Oh, I liked it. It made me hungry. I had to go get the charcuterie from the back of the refrigerator.
Charcuterie. So they made Hustler Mafia aprons. That Shet and I will wear when we work though. Which is really, really nice.
Hashtag Hustler Mafia. That's the new thing. That's pretty intense. We're making another thing.
Yeah, you should do that this whole week because when Greg comes back, he's gonna shut it down. No, he's not. Why is that? He doesn't like anything new.
Yeah. He doesn't. Poor Greg. He doesn't like us to have witty banter on the company texting service that we use.
The whole thing. My wife says it's time for me to stand. Okay, I gotta, so I gotta, what? No, you gotta stand up?
Okay, come on, we got five minutes, what do you got? " What? What's your question? No, that you, this story-- See?
He doesn't listen. I'm saying that it's, I know, but that's when I like to talk to him, 'cause then I can just sneak things in there. Right. No, I was saying that if you ever heard any other story, you're like, oh, that'd be a great movie.
This was the first time in all these years? I think it's just now he has the opportunity to do it. Oh, yeah, I get that. You know what it is?
Like, I don't know. I think that the more I've kind of learned... Sorry, I'm a little stuffy. The more I've kind of learned as far as how to map out an actual movie and how to make it entertaining, that's kind of when you start paying more attention, right?
" That's awesome. Yeah. Well, and so, another question. Quickly, two minutes.
Okay, so, have you guys ever had any of the listeners, like, be people who create content or people who create those kind of things, like, in that arena? Is there anybody else who has a podcast that's like, "Oh, yo, you guys should try this," or, "Hey, I do commercials," or, "I do this," you guys should try that? Well, Hugh does some stuff. He was talking about doing some stuff.
Uh, Southern Gooder, the guy who did our intro music for us. Yeah. And I can tell you that, um, Ken Woo over at the Marca in Cali, he works as a production manager or something. Oh.
Yeah. But he's, I don't think he's a listener. God, man, my nose is like... You're getting very nasally.
It's totally uncomfortable. Okay, we'll wrap this up then, so you can go below your nose. No, I'm living it now. We're in it.
We're in it. We're done now anyway. We're running out of time. We have to take another commercial.
I can't feel like we're not done. You don't feel like we're done? I'm not done. I think we're done.
It's fine. Alright, it's been episode 108. There it is. Alright guys, thank you very much.
Hey Matt, thank you so much for coming. Oh yes, thank you so much for coming in. It's such a joy. It's always a pleasure.
FQ cigars. FQ cigars, that's right. FQ proper. Phenoms.
Why don't we get more Toro Gordos because everybody's in the end of the month, hopefully, end of the month, more Toro Gordos, only off of back stock, or out of stock, or whatever the hell, back in stock. There's that. All right. Okay.
We all done now? Yes, we're done. Okay. All right, guys.
Thanks. Bye. Bye. See ya.
Thank you for joining us today. Thank you for joining us today. This has been a Cigar Hustlers Podcast, a Mike and Mike production. Be sure to listen every Tuesday at 10am for all new episodes.
Hi, I'm doing, I'm Husto-E-Raw. Yeah, we just don't have to do a single, uh, single podcast ever again, ever. I'm good, Mike and Mike, how are you guys doing? - The Hojo de...
- Hojo! It's the Hojo! You didn't even let him fuck it up all the way. I couldn't get past Hojo!
I don't even have to try it. He's not even going to try. We're going to cover a lot of ground here, Mike. All right.
Try to keep up. That's a sign of a good podcast. You'd be like four cigars when I walked in a door. All right, end this.
Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike Squared, Mike Squared, Mike Squared, Mike Squared.
Show Notes
This week Mr. Matt Hunt with FQ cigars makes a guest appearance and helps us run the show! The boys tell a romantic story of times on the road....Hunt's new dog! Mr Light Weight Heavy is having a birthday! And someone stole a huge bag of dicks!
Check to the show to see what this is all about!
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