Episode 118 A Blessing and a Curse....WWE?......Nut Doctors!

Episode Summary

Episode 118 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast opens on a somber note as the hosts remember Dave Gallinari — "Dave the Cop," a retired NYPD and Volusia County warrant squad officer and beloved daily regular at the shop. They share stories about his Super Bowl parlay against the Patriots, his firsthand connection to a shooting case discussed in a Malcolm Gladwell book, his generosity with staff, and the running "you all right?" joke that became his signature. They name him Listener of the Week and reflect on the blessing and curse of owning a cigar lounge: meeting extraordinary people, and eventually losing them.

The show then turns to industry news. RoMa Craft Tobac sent the crew gift canteens, prompting thanks to Michael Rosales, Jamie Rosales, John D. Oliver, Danny Vasquez and Skip Martin — plus a lengthy bit about how to actually assemble the lid. The hosts promote an upcoming FQ Proper virtual herf capped at ten people, and debate whether free virtual herfs have any real value versus paid events with a brand owner attached. On the news front: Alec Bradley founder Alan Rubin is feeding roughly 700 families of four in Honduras for 30 days through the Raíces Cubanas factory in Danlí during the COVID lockdown — which sparks a genuine disagreement about whether charity announced via press release is still charity. They also cover the motion filed by attorney Michael Edney on behalf of Cigar Rights of America, the Premium Cigar Association, and eight companies (Alec Bradley, Arturo Fuente, Ashton, Crowned Heads, Holt's, Oliva, Rocky Patel and others) seeking an indefinite delay of the FDA's May 12 substantial equivalence deadline.

The back half is pure pandemic-era riffing: Florida Governor Ron DeSantis deeming WWE an "essential business" in Orlando (and the Linda McMahon super PAC timing behind it), the Longwood mayor's objections, stimulus checks being blown on stripper poles and inflatable dinosaur costumes, Busch Beer's postponed-wedding giveaway, Disney's bedtime hotline, Harvard's projection of intermittent social distancing into 2022, Trump's three-phase reopening plan (and a long argument about gyms, free weights and testing math), and a looming CO2 shortage that could hit beer and soda. They close with a study out of Mumbai suggesting the virus may linger in the testicles, plus a recap of Michael's appearance on Tommy's "Unicorn Slayer" Instagram Live for Nickel City Cigars and a plug for the Patreon random-call shows, including the recent Matt Booth episode.

In This Episode

1. 01
   Remembering Dave "the Cop" Gallinari
   A tribute to a beloved daily shop regular and retired NYPD/Volusia County warrant squad officer, with the stories that made him a lounge legend.
2. 02
   RoMa Craft Tobac Care Package
   The crew thanks the RoMa Craft family for gift canteens and spends several minutes figuring out how the lid actually seals.
3. 03
   FQ Proper Virtual Herf & the Value of Paid Events
   Promotion for a ten-person FQ Proper virtual herf and a debate over whether free online herfs are worth doing.
4. 04
   Alec Bradley Feeding Honduran Cigar Workers
   Alan Rubin's effort to feed 700 families through the Raíces Cubanas factory in Danlí, and whether publicizing charity cheapens it.
5. 05
   Eight Cigar Companies Sue for FDA SE Delay
   CRA, PCA, Alec Bradley, Fuente, Ashton, Crowned Heads, Holt's, Oliva and Rocky Patel seek an indefinite delay of the May 12 substantial equivalence deadline.
6. 06
   WWE Declared Essential in Florida
   DeSantis's addendum exempting WWE, the Linda McMahon super PAC timing, and what it means for every other 'non-essential' small business.
7. 07
   Stimulus Checks, Reopening Plans and Pandemic Life
   Wild stimulus spending, Trump's three-phase reopening plan, gym rules, a CO2 shortage threatening beer and soda, and Harvard's 2022 projection.
8. 08
   Nut Doctors and Instagram Live Recap
   A Mumbai study on why men take longer to clear the virus, plus Michael's appearance on the Unicorn Slayer IG Live and a Patreon plug.

Brands & Cigars Discussed

Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.

Transcript

Welcome to episode 118 of a Cigar Hustlers podcast this week, a blessing and a curse. WWE is essential. And, uh, don't forget to visit your nut doctor gentlemen. I'll listen more in episode 118.

I think, I think we're low on bottled waters. Probably so. Welcome to Episode 118, Michael. 118.

Of a Cigar Hustler Podcast. We gotta change that, eventually. The name of the Cigar Hustler Podcast? The episode, like the episode...

Season 2, Episode 1? Maybe we start over. That would be confusing. At like the end of the year or something.

Well, then we'll have to say season two, episode one, each time. Oh. " Somebody finds it, they think we just started. Alright, fine.

And we are three years into this, goddammit! " These guys just started. I don't want to listen to them at all. We'll keep it going.

I can hardly hear me. I'm sorry. Maybe you should turn your microphone up. Oh, he's such an ass.

Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. That's all right. I'll deal with it. It's fine.

It's fine. If you're happy, I'm happy, Mike. I'm never happy anymore. If it makes you happy.

Keep talking. How's that? That's better. Now you turned up all the way.

Okay. I'm all the way up. All right. Let's get the sad news out of the way first.

Let's get the sad news out of the way. Sad news. All right. All right.

Good news. Well, the good news about the sad news is he doesn't have an album that I could play to get us in trouble. Well, that's good. So we, you know, so here's the problem with owning a shop, a cigar store, is it's, it really is a blessing and a curse.

And what do I mean by that? It's, you get to meet a lot of great people. That's kind of the blessing, right? Yes.

You get to meet a lot of great dudes that, and a lot of them are retired. A lot of them kind of lived a full life. And you know, they got, they got stories, man. You know, they got, they got some crazy fucking stories.

They have lived lives worth hearing about. Yeah. The sad part is that you only get a little bit of time to spend with them, and then sometimes they die. Wow, that's just the way you said it.

Yeah. You said they pass or they leave us? They die. Nope, they just died.

They die. So, I don't know how to say his last name, but I'm going to go, oh fuck, Gallinari, Gallinari. Yeah, because when you told me his last name, I mean, that's not what we knew him by here. s.

Dave the Cop and Dave All Right. Yeah, even when you said Dave the Cop, I was trying to think of a modern-day guy who was still a cop. But Dave was a retired police officer, first with the city of New York City, and then he did the warrant squad here in Volusia County for a while and kicked in doors and got the bad of the bad guys. Mm-hmm.

Recently retired, a few years ago? Yes. Yeah, and... Played golf, and then would come in here and have some wine and a cigar or two.

So I got to tell you three simple things about Dave that are... Well, look at the camera, I know Dave. that are pretty good. They're pretty good things.

So, obviously, I'm a Patriot fan. You know, I don't really talk about that too much. I'm also a Bucs fan, but, you know, which makes sense, which actually works out well this year. Are you not a Patriots fan anymore?

No, I still am. Since your boy left? No, I'm still... Okay, just curious.

It's where I'm from. Still my hometown. I didn't know if you were just a fan of his. A bandwagon?

No, I'm a fan of the team. Oh. Anyway, sorry to interrupt. It's okay.

So, I can tell you one day, Dave would tell stories, really good stories that were so crazy that, you know, you didn't believe they were to be true, but they came from Dave, so they had to be true. It was like an episode of SVU every time he told the story, but he didn't change the names of the guilty to protect the innocent or whatever it was. So, now I'm starting to jump ahead. So, one day, he was talking about the Philadelphia Eagles were playing the fucking New England Patriots in the Super Bowl, right?

Right. And, you know, I respect this guy, and, you know, I respect a lot of things that he says, and, you know, normally the guy's pretty accurate in most of what he says. He comes in in this New York accent. He's like, hey, I just bet a three-way parlay on the Philadelphia Eagles.

Like, they're going to cover. Then they're just like, I took the fucking money line. I took the money line or whatever. He took three things that were all Philly to just kind of crush New England.

I was like, son of a bitch. Like, when he said that, I'm like, I'm going to fucking hate this Super Bowl. This Super Bowl is going to suck for me. So, uh, and yeah, sure as shit, you know, it was a, it was a bad one for, uh, for New England fans.

Um, I was, I was, I read a Malcolm Gladwell book and, you know, usually whenever I read a book, I some, for some reason the, it becomes a topic of discussion in the store. Like I always bring something up and, you know, we kind of have an argument. And one of the, uh, one of the, uh, the, uh, things that the Malcolm Gladwell was talking about was like a really bad shooting in New York where a guy was reaching for his, uh, He ran scared from the cops, he was reaching for his wallet, and something happened and the cops lit him up, right? Oh, well, I mean, obviously it was neither, but the guy's reaching for his wallet while he's running?

I'm a cop, I'm thinking. Yeah, but like if you read further into the whole book, it's broken down step-by-step as to what went wrong and how he resulted in passing, right, and getting shot. " That was a tough one. I'm like, what the fuck?

So, you know, he knew it verbatim. He was there. Yeah, it was crazy. Yeah, I had to shoot the son of a bitch.

It was tough. Yeah, I mean, it was just absolutely insane. You know, if you're a regular here, and you know, I consider you one of us, I'm gonna rib the shit out of you, man. I'm gonna give you a hard time.

Is that not accurate? That is accurate. I heard it. So Dave would always come around and he'd say, "How you doing?

All right? " So what I would do is I would go out of my way to see how many all rights I could get between him and myself every time that we talked. I was like, "Dave, how you doing? " He's like, "Yeah, I'm all right.

" And like, he never really picked up on it. He just thought it was just regular conversation for him. " So, he was a hell of a guy, and he's going to be- All the regulars know him. I mean, he was here almost every single day.

He took care of everybody, man. He did. Very generous tipper. He took care of everybody.

He would, yeah, very nice man. If you did him a solid, he made sure that you were getting back tenfold. You know, he was just that type of guy. Yeah, he gave, one time he gave me one of his business cards.

He goes, "You ever get pulled over on the way home? You show him my card. Tell them you're a friend at Dave's. You let them know.

Everything will be alright. You let them know. And you know what? That's another thing.

That's absolutely insane. So like he wouldn't, there were times where he'd tell stories where you had to kind of get it out of him. But he was always quiet, chill, relaxed. He'd play fucking solitaire on his phone.

Yeah, he could sit out by himself for three hours other than I need another drink. You'd never hear a word out of him. Total peace and quiet. You know, the crazy part is though, if he knew you and you walked in the door and he said, Hey, John, everybody who looked at him looked like they just found their long-lost brother.

Dave, what the hell are you doing here, man? Shake your hand every time. Oh, my God. Coming and going.

And that didn't just happen once. That happened a shit ton of times, whether it was people on the force or somebody that he knew or whatever the case may be. I mean, that guy was loved, man. Yeah, everybody knew him.

Absolutely crazy. Every cop that came in that was retired or still working. Knew who he was. So, yeah.

So, we'll miss Dave. We will miss Dave. Tell you what, we'll make Dave the Listener of the Week? Listener of the Week.

No, he's not listening. He used to, though. Did he? He heard enough of them to know where it was.

There you go, Dave. There you go, Dave. Hope everything's all right. All right?

All right, now, from the sad news, moving on. You know what, I forgot to turn the video on for the sad news. Are you kidding me? Nope.

But we got it all on the audio, though. You made me look at the fucking camera. I got all upset about Dave, and I completely forgot to start my video. Use that as an excuse.

I completely forgot. I did the gong, and I told you, oh, I didn't start the video. Terrible. You're absolutely terrible.

So if you just tune in into the video, Dave Gagliari, we assume. Well, they heard it. Yeah, well, not the. Oh, yeah, I can still play it for the.

Yeah, okay. You got to do the whole curtain thing. Yeah, the curtain thing. It'll be a long lead into the show this week.

Yeah, I can't wait to see what kind of funny shit you'll do. I'm not going to do anything funny. It was a serious matter. I can put a picture of Dave.

There you go. That's what I'll do. There's one floating around Facebook, so I'll put in memory. That's not a good picture of him, though.

No, he looks very heavy in that photo. Yeah. Yeah, I know. I didn't know that, Dave.

I didn't either, no. I mean, he looks like a big dude, though, in that picture. Yeah. The guy that came in here, sometimes some of his ass-kicking stories, you're like, you're a skinny little old man.

I don't know. But apparently, not back in the day, he had won an award or something. I'm sure he's won several awards. Oh, I'm sure.

You like my new... Well, they sent several. " You didn't say, "Okay," so I just put it back. So our family at Roma Crafts...

Did you bring the note? No. No, our family at Rumorcraft sent a lovely note and some of these coolers from us, for whatever they're called, drinky thingies. Water bottles?

Canteens? Water bottles. " Did you not read the instructions again? What am I doing wrong here?

Mr. Coleman, if you could call Michael, please, and inform him on how the water bottle works. So, you know, what's funny is so that, like, as I'm driving, I'm like, I'm going slower. You know, like.

What's the trick? Like, what the hell am I doing? And then I remembered that Danny made a post, and he said, hey, listen, this thing, this O-ring part here needs to go beneath the cap. If not.

Oh. Yeah. Oh, for the seal. Yeah.

The seal. So I. So where was it? So it's not an O-ring.

It's like, it's just for the. The holder for the top? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, it's just a holder for the top, let me put that on silent. Oh, so it goes, so I guess we can take the cap off, that comes off. You gotta kinda, no, you gotta push it down, so like. Well, please, demonstrate after you silence all your phones and your watches and, you know, all that.

Let's go ahead and get this worked out of here. So, this, see how it's under this lip? Yeah, there's a piece of rubber there. No, there's no rubber.

No, there's no rubber on the thing? Yeah, this, yeah, this plastic, it's for this. Now, this, I had above here, and when you have it above here, it spills. I'm sure once I see it, I'll figure it out.

You gotta put it below the lid. From this angle, you can't tell the difference. So, I remember that Danny had said that, and after I was already wearing a portion of my drink, I figured it out. What flavor of Crystal Light are you rocking there?

I think it's like green tea peach. Oh, the best is the strawberry banana orange. No way. Yes, I drink it by the gallon.

Green tea. Gallon a day at home. Green tea. All day.

Green tea. By the gallon. So, anyways, I just want to say thank you to Michael Rosales. Yes, thank you.

I will be taking mine home today. Thank you very much. Jamie Rosales. With my sticker?

No, you won't. If I am. Michael Rosales, Jamie Rosales, John D. Oliver.

Danny Rosales? Michael Rosales, Jamie Rosales. Then you said Danny Rosales. No, I did not.

Would you like me to play it back for you? You will. We can play it back. We will.

Jamie Rosales, Michael Rosales, John D. Oliver, Danny Vasquez, My boy, Lightweight, Heavy, and Skip Martin. Oh, I'm so hoping you're going to forget to take Skip. How can you forget Skip?

I never forget Skip. Yeah, I know. He's my friend. Matter of fact, he should be texting me any minute wanting to know where the secret show is.

And here is yours. Oh! I'm going to take mine later. Take mine today.

Me, me, me. He'll do what I want. Okay, now let's figure out how to one of these. Oh, so the way it comes, it's above.

That's above. Yes. So is that like a joke to get it to spill in here? I don't know, a couple of jack wagons made the fucking thing.

So what part has to come on? No, you gotta take it and push it down below that lip. Oh, over this. Yes.

Ah, I see. Yes. Some assembly required. Some assembly required.

Get this done real quick. So hey, so now I got this fancy new... Talk about, talk about your self. This new canteen that I'm going to bring to the gym when the gym eventually opens.

Even a filter, look at this, it's got a filter. Yeah, you can put something in there, like fruit or something. Oh, like fruit, like you're a Kardashian though. Isn't that lovely?

Very nice. So yeah, you're going to have to label yours if you're bringing it back up to the shop. I'll put the yellow sticker on mine. Or I'll put a, yeah, I don't want to put a show sticker on it, I'll put a yellow sticker on it.

Okay. Or maybe I will do the new show sticker. Thank you, gentlemen and ladies. Very nice.

Can't believe you didn't turn on the camera. I got, I was upset about. You had one job. No, I have several jobs.

What'd you bring for the show this week, Michael? I just, I just did both of them. See? Ten pages, Michael.

Ten pages. Give me a hard time. Plus, uh, well, let's go get this away, too, because I'm smoking an FQ proper this week. Yes.

What goes on this Friday, Michael? We're having a FQ proper virtual hearf. And whose idea was that, Michael? It was all my idea.

It was all my idea. Oh, you're so sick. Ten people, capped a ten. You're so sick.

I already signed up three. Was that me, you, and Matt? No, some names you already know, 'cause they just support us and, you know, Adam Ackrey, Chip, and Nick. Did you mean Nick or Chip?

No, Chip. Chip. Oh. Not Nick.

I could probably get Nick. Nick will be there. You know who did sign up? Who?

Otha. Oh, yeah, he was very excited about that. I'm excited about that. I'm kind of excited to see all that.

Yeah. Talked to him in a long time. Mm-hmm. See if he's still up in Virginia.

Yeah. So that should be entertaining. Yes. All right.

Looking forward to it. If you guys have any information about it and you want to check it out, right now there's seven spots left. com website and sign up. Same price as all the rest?

No, this one's a little less. It's understandable. It's Mr. Hunt, so.

I think it's like 80 bucks. Well, you know, here's the thing. And, you know, I think that a lot of people are buying into the virtual hearfs just to kind of support the store. Right.

And I just don't want to put continual pressure on people so that they don't feel comfortable. I'm going to bring this up on the show, so, but you should do one where nobody has to pay. Yeah, I mean, I just, the problem is… You know what, that's the one you let Greg do. Okay, fair enough.

The problem is, the problem with doing that is, like, you know, there's no implied value. Like, that's the… Well, yeah, but everyone's looking for something to do, though. Here's the thing. You know, you go on, you see all these hearfs everywhere, and then people just kind of fucking put them together and just turn them on, and it's shit.

It's complete fuck. Not all of them, but a lot of them are just garbage. Hey, a RubbleGraph family did one today. There's no organization.

There's no – nobody's – you know, nothing is well thought out, you know. So when you apply value and you offer a sampler pack and you give it something special with, you know, an extra person, You know, brand owner, manufacturer. I feel like there's, there's more relevance there. So, you know, believe me, I've gone back and forth in my mind over and over again, well, maybe we should do a free one, you know, but like, I just, I struggle with it, I struggle, I just struggle with the overall value of it, and time, and effort that it takes.

Well, it would just be like one of the Florida Cigar Club ones, I mean, you just turn it on and see who shows up. Right. You just promote it through the show's Facebook page. So you're saying it's a shit show.

Yeah, right. But it's something for people to do. I mean, everybody, they, everybody except the people who do them all the time seem to really enjoy it. Mm, okay.

All right, well, we'll get on with the, move along with the show then. Just everybody know that I had the idea and he poo-pooed on it here, but don't worry, it'll still happen in a couple of days when he decides it's his idea. Moving along with the show. So, Alec Bradley feeds the Honduras cigar workers through the coronavirus crisis, Michael.

Really? "Since Honduras declared a lockdown of non-essential businesses like cigar factories due to the coronavirus, the country's citizens have only been allowed out of their homes in segments based upon identification numbers. This has made obtaining essential items like food and hygiene products difficult, especially given that Honduras is a developing country where most people can't accumulate substantial savings accounts. In order to help the workers responsible for producing their cigars in Honduras, Alec Bradley, personally, is determined to feed 700 families of four throughout the country.

It's about a 30-day span. Nice. The, uh, hmm, another name of a factory I can't pronounce. The Raises?

Raises. How do you say it? Raises. Raises Cubanas Factory, which produces mostly the Alec Bradley brand, is located in Donnelly, a lush mountainous region known for its cigar making.

Through its connections in the area, the company is able to purchase all staples needed for a local food distributor. This includes eggs, rice, corn, beans, oil, sugar, hygiene products, and more. The endeavor demanded a collaboration effort. In order to store the eggs properly, the factory converted its tobacco freezers to coolers while other staples were delivered and divided into sacks, ready to be picked up.

In addition, drivers distributed the needed goods to farmers and box factory workers. The company also takes care of local schools for underprivileged kids. They dropped off supplies to families of the children and school employees as well. Any worker that cannot pick up the supplies, we are making arrangements to deliver the food to them directly.

We also have some older workers that have taken care of, that we are taking care of as well, said Alan Rubin, founder of the Alec Bradley, the Alec Bradley brand, who's 2011 Prenciato Churchill, won Cigar of the Year. I don't need to tell any of that. I was just giving back and I'm blessed to be able to do it, finished Rubin. That was nice of them.

Okay, so here's the deal. Like if you're going to do something, like how did that make it to the press? Uh, I believe this was a half-wheel source. So then, so then they reported?

Oh, they had a press release, I'm sure, was issued. Hey, just want you to know we're doing good. I want you to know we're doing good things. Like, that's kind of fucking, that really kind of cheapens it for me, to be honest.

Just shut the fuck up and do the right thing and take care of people, like, you know what I mean? Oh, look at you. It's, it's not that, but you know what, like, just be a fucking humanitarian. It's not that, it's not that hard.

Good for you, good for you, glad you're helping the people. You need the fucking pat on the back and the additional exposure? I mean, it just comes across as tacky to me. Oh, look at you.

There you go. You wanted the real deal. Welcome to Cigar Hosts Podcast, motherfucker. It's true, though.

No? No, you have a point. Like, if you did something good for someone. Yes?

Would you come around here and fucking tell everybody? Alright, put it on the damn show. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I understand.

I understand what you're saying. Like, just fucking help people. There are fucking people that are in horrible positions. Well, I like passing out meals, then next I'll just put down.

Eight cigar companies and two... But even that's different, because you're talking about somebody else doing a great thing. " No, and I would have loved to have gone, but as I'm not a school employee, I wasn't allowed to go. Right, so it's not like...

Evidently, I'm dirty. Right. You're definitely dirty. I'm dirty.

You know what I'm saying? Like, that's not even the equivalent, you know? Well then, let's just say I found out about it through a third person, and I'm just talking about it then. About what?

My friend Ruben. Oh, okay. Good for Ruben. Mr.

Ruben, apparently. It's Mr. Ruben. Give me a break.

Eight cigar companies and two cigar trade groups seek indefinite delay of the FDA, substantial equivalency due to the coronavirus. Yay. Can I take a drink of your bottle? Mm-hmm.

S. Food and Drug Administration's Regulation of Cigars. Does it taste better in the bottle? It does.

I can't wait to use mine. It tastes like craft. It tastes like family. It tastes like love.

It tastes like craft. I lost my place. Michael Edney, the attorney for the cigar industry in its two most notable lawsuits against FDA, filed a request for a preliminary injunction of the May 12th substantial equivalency deadline on behalf of two of the cigar trade groups. Suing the agency, Cigar Rights of America, and the Premium Cigar Association, as well as eight cigar companies, all right, would you like to know the companies, would you like to guess, I mean, see if you can guess.

That have filed? Again, I would like to appreciate them putting them in alphabetical order, yes. That have filed against the FDA? That are in with this new little lawsuit.

Okay. Here's eight. General? No.

Ooh. Uh, Davidoff? Uh, no. Trustee?

Uh, no. You get one more, then I'm just gonna read them. I'm just going to read them. Oh, man.

Altidis. No. Wow. None of those.

Tell me. Alec Bradley. Okay. Which, you know, they're just tooting their own horn because they passed out food earlier.

It was on a tear. Arturo Fuente. Okay. Ashton.

Okay. Crown Heads. Okay. Holtz.

I would have never guessed any of these. I know. Exactly. Oliva Cigar Company.

Okay. I could have guessed that one. Okay. And, I'm surprised you didn't say this one, Rocky Patel Premium Cigars.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, he was on, Rocky was on, what was it, Kiss My Ash a couple weeks ago? Mm-hmm. It was funny, because him and Ava argued, but Rocky's very well-spoken, I was very impressed.

Yeah. No accent. You gotta get him drunk. Oh, then the accent?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. " No, of course, he's got his shit together, he used to be an attorney. You know, like he's an intelligent individual. Cigar Association of America, the third cigar trade group that is part of the original lawsuit, is not part of this motion.

Of note, all those companies except for Crown Heads are represented on the Board of Cigar Rights of America. Holt Cigar Company does not appear to exist, but likely refers to Holt's, the Philadelphia-based retail operated by the same family that owns Ashton. So we've got another lawsuit. We have another lawsuit asking them to disband the equivalency due to coronavirus.

Just put it off indefinitely. Because I think now it's pushed back till May or June, or what? So that's like saying... We reported last week that it had been pushed back because of the coronavirus.

" Just table it for now. Yeah, that's what they're asking. That's like a stalemate. It's like nobody wins.

All right. Oh, here we go. Let's see. There is already an indicative ruling in place following an agreement by FDA and public health anti-tobacco groups and Maryland based federal court judge to delay the deadline for 120 days due to the coronavirus pandemic.

But they're asking them to just table it and just put this over here. Right. Forget about it for a while. Okay.

All right. Our lovely governor here in the state of Florida. Yes. He has deemed WWE to be an essential business.

Absolutely. Sheriff deputies warned WWE on several recent occasions that it was violating Florida Governor Ron DeSantis' "safer at home" order by continuing to hold wrestling events in Orlando, home of the WWE Performance Center. DeSantis exempts narrow scope of businesses from stay at home order. That's right, baby.

The steel chair. Tape each shows at Orlando Performance Center without an audience, WDE on-camera employee tested positive for the coronavirus back in March, the Orange County Sheriff's Office said this happened in March and early April, and deputies stole the business to shut down. So here's the thing. First of all.

Well, I don't see the problem. They don't really touch each other anyway. Well, there's a couple things here. There's a couple things to consider.

Number one, look, the fact of the matter is, you have enough money, you can do whatever the fuck you want in this country. Well, that's just it. Days after the warning, DeSantis reversed the course of the part of his order signing, especially where the denunment allows. It's WWE to keep operating without having to strictly adhere to the social distancing protocols.

It doesn't matter if you're Democratic or Republican. The fact of the matter is, top of the heap always gets paid. Done. All right, let's just get that out of the way, first and foremost.

WWE has been shooting live events from the WWE Performance Center, a training center for up-and-coming wrestlers during the coronavirus outbreak. When asked about the addendum to Santa's office sports and media production, including entertainers, are critical to Florida's economy, deeming them essential. And so is the mouse. So the second thing is, second thing is, now at this point, if you own a business, and you feel that you've been deemed non-essential, and you're like, you know what, the SBAs aren't coming in, I'm fucking, you know, my 1200 bucks won't get me a fucking, won't pay my mortgage, fuck it, I'm gonna open up the store, if they come knocking on your door, I'd be like, look man, you said the WWE was okay, I'm staying open, there's nothing you can do, I have kids to feed, there's, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, that's it.

Well, on your side, the Longwood Mayor, Matt Morgan, a retired WWE wrestler, is concerned about health and safety of the talented staff, especially since many of them fly in and out of the state. All those performers could still be asymptomatic and still passing around to one another, and eventually, they'll bring it home with their families. Well, he's on your side. He's saying they should not be open.

No, no. I'm not saying that they should not be open. I have a connection to him. Would you like to talk to him?

Okay, but I'm not saying that they shouldn't be open. Oh, you're saying if they're open, everybody's open. " I mean, "Enough is enough" is what I'm saying. Ah.

You know? Oh, here we go. Our watchdog investigation, not our watchdog, whoever. Yeah, so you know the guy?

I have a connection to the mayor, I know the guy on his staff. The mayor of Longwood. The mayor of Longwood, a former WWE wrestler. Wow.

How far did he go? What was his name? I don't remember. Was he like The Miz?

It was The Miz. No. Oh, you know, do you know where he came from? You're a little young for this, so you might not know.

Tell me. The Miz? MTV used to have those stupid shows. Yeah.

He started on there on the MTV show. Yeah. I saw that. And his girlfriend at the time is now one of the E!

Entertainment reporters. Oh, really? Yeah, I saw him in Vegas for one of the, he was there for one of the cigars. Have you seen the show with him and his wife?

No. They have a reality show. Oh, it's so terrible. Is it?

I've been watching one episode as far as I could get. And now he's the mayor of Longwood? No, no, no, a different guy. This is his uncle.

This is Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Oh, that would be so great. I like Hacksaw. Hacksaw for mayor.

No, it's the animal. Just walking around. It's the animal. And now you're going really, really far back.

The animal's gotta be dead by now. Maybe it's Dusty Rose. He is dead. He is dead, yeah.

Let's see. 5 million in the Tampa and Orlando markets. Open! Linda McMahon is a former head of the Small Business Administration under Trump.

Oh, of course, Trump as a wrestler. The next day, WWE announced its plans to resume the television shows in Orlando. DeSantis is an ally to President Donald Trump's, but I don't think they like each other now. Look, I get it.

I mean, like, you know, you own a business, you want to be open. Like, let's just stop this stupid shit already and just open up. Let's put tape everywhere. Six feet, tape.

I had to go to Target today. They have six... Okay, first, really all they have open is the self-checkout, which is fine. Right.

And that's marked off as a thing. But then as you go down the main aisle in turn, they have six-foot X's everywhere. How long was that line at one point? Oh, they're expanding.

Publix is now, you have to go up one aisle, down one aisle, up one aisle, everywhere, and there's six-foot spaces in everything. Oh, there was people violating the six-foot thing rule on me on Target. So, I like to just jump from one to the other, see if I can make the leap. It seems the...

With my shopping cart. We've got an extra 50 minutes to get started that late. Oh, good. It seems the longer this goes, the less people are wearing masks now.

Yeah, I would... I'd probably... I'd agree with that. Because I went to Target weeks ago, and just about everybody had a mask on.

I went there today, half the employees are wearing them, half of the employees aren't. Gloves, they've decided that really doesn't help you when you're out in public anyway. Oh, really? Oh, yeah, they've said that, yeah.

As long as you wipe the stuff down when you get home. So, like, I think that's the other problem, too, is, like, there's no, like, everything's just kind of everywhere, you know, misinformation is rampant. Misinformation is everywhere. So...

I have to stop arguing with people on Facebook. I'm having no friends left. And I honestly believe that we already had this shit. I think we did, too.

You know. But when I go out, I wear a mask. Yeah, me, too. If I go out shopping somewhere, I don't wear gloves, I wear a mask.

Yeah. But my wife's not. And I mean, she is if she goes shopping, but she's not when she delivers packages to kids, which makes no sense at all. Yeah, I like to cough too.

I had to cut some videos for her, for a project for her, for her, okay, that, now that microphone has to be burnt. I'm sorry. Uh, and, and she's, you know, three feet, holding the thing, explaining, okay, now this one you have to do this, and then they hug at the end. Oh yeah, you're bringing all this to home.

I tell people to back the fuck up. I heard... At this point, I'm like, you know... As long as we're talking about...

I heard on the radio today, people who like to compare this to the flu. Yeah. Last year, what, 40,000-some odd people died of the flu? Well, that was a 12-month period.

We've had the same amount of people die in the last 40 days that the flu kills in a year. Yeah, that's kind of a big deal. " Of course. Yeah, of course.

That's what they don't realize, those flu figures are for the year. But you know, look, you gotta, you gotta tote both lines here, man. You got to do what's right for everybody and do what's right for everybody, right? Right.

You know what I'm saying? Like, we can put practices in and open up some of this shit, actually all of this shit. Yeah. And start...

So maybe not the restaurants. I'm a little nervous about the restaurants. What are you talking... No, absolutely the restaurant should be open.

But then my waiter's got to wear a mask. Space them, space out the tables. Yeah, less people in the... Like how many small mom and pop restaurants...

This is going to be the new normal, I think, for a couple of years. Yeah, they're saying we might be doing this till 2024 now. Get the fuck out of here, it's fucking ridiculous. Unless they come up with a vaccine.

No, you're, no, no. Okay. I'm not saying that. " This place is cleaner than a hospital at this point.

It's true. And plus, we've all had it, probably, back in December, so nobody's carrying it. We have reason to believe. Yeah, we're wiping everything.

Costa was patient zero, he was from Philadelphia, okay, which is a major hotspot, right? He brought it to Vegas, he blew all of us up in the cigar industry, and here we are. And then you brought it back here, infected all of us. Yeah, and for me it was like...

I don't think your brother had it though. Yes, he did. Did he get sick when you were sick? He just got sick recently.

I don't think that was it. That was just his quarterly sniffles. His hypochondria. It's quarterly sniffle.

I'm dying. I don't think that, you know, like, I don't really think that the... I think that this comes out six months from now and they're going to say more people had it. It was really it was a lot of a lot of people were asymptomatic and a lot of people had really really mild cases like that was mild that I had a hate to think what the full-blown cause like I was just I just had like a hack that I couldn't get rid of yeah I had the coffee care of and I passed out for three days I mean I was that didn't happen I was gone I mean that's happening now I'm just kind of waking up late like set my alarm for seven which is ridiculous in itself and then it goes off I'm like yeah fuck it.

You know, I'll work out a little bit. I think I'm starting to get the depression. Are you? Yeah, because, I mean, every day, it's just like, well, there's nothing to do.

I mean, normally mowing the yard takes me an hour and a half. I spent four hours yesterday cutting the crib. How about you? That yard looks amazing.

It looks perfect at the moment. New seed in places. I was clipping with a pair of scissors around the sidewalks. You know what?

I'm going to digress. This is why you fucked up not being a homeowner. Why? Because you could be improving your home.

No, we haven't anyway. That's why landlords love us. My poor wife has painted the entire house with a paintbrush. So has mine.

Just the one paintbrush? No, she has a roller. Yeah, exactly. Oh, one roller.

Think about that. Why didn't you get her a roller? No, spoiler. Get the woman a roller, Michael.

It's already done now. Now we're doing cabinets, and now we're gonna... Oh, I put cabinet hardware on last week? We're gonna redo the fireplace?

We had an opportunity to get some new appliances from someone else we didn't have to pay for, so we just put in the new appliances. There you go, so there's plenty to do. The landlord sent us money for the yard, so we're putting- Fucking knock out a wall, just do it. You know what, there would be a nice window.

If this is your closet, sir. Ah, it doesn't matter, I need a window in the closet. Bring in some natural light when I get dressed. Let's put a big window in the shower.

Sir, it faces the street. I'm trying to think if we have a window in the shower. No, it's right in front of him, so if you didn't shut the blinds when you step out of the shower, you would be in front of the window. Perfect.

Yes. And I noticed when I was cutting the grass, there's a window there, and then on the back side of the bedroom is a window. You can see right through that. Do you stare at him while he's cutting the grass like this?

Well, I cut that out of the shower. I cut the grass. Yeah, it took four hours to cut the grass yesterday. Yeah, you did an amazing job.

Thank you very much. But did you edge? Yes. I love the edge.

You know what? I would edge and not cut if I could. It's three feet tall, but look how nice that line is around. It's so trim.

You know what? And we're on a corner lot, so I go all the way around the sidewalk, all the way around. And then I'm the only neighbor that blows off the sidewalk, too, after you cut. Wow.

Looks perfect. And I spray weed killer to get the weeds that grow up in between the sidewalks. Wow. Ant killer on the anthills.

You gotta stop by the house. Well, do it before Friday because it looks good. This is amazing! This is amazing!

Alright, moving on. How are we doing on time? Let's go ahead and take a break. We're at 35, so we could have 10 minutes or it could go off any second.

Yeah, because, you know, we don't know when we hit the record button. We don't know when we turned it on first. I mean, look at the camera, Mike. Look at the camera.

How you doing? Everything alright? I'm going to use that as much as possible for this show just for days. You doing alright?

You doing alright, Dan? You all right? I'm doing all right. Okay, we'll be right back.

Hey, it's Mike too. Want to be part of the show? com/thecigarhustlerspodcast. We have tiers starting at just $5 a month.

For $10 a month, you get a special show swag, and then you're eligible for the weekly secret show. Secret shows cover in-depth cigar reviews, behind-the-scenes information, and sometimes we just talk shit about people. Choose which tier works best with your budget and become an official show hustler. Thanks for the support.

We'll see you next time. I just opened the mail, because I saw Mike, and then I didn't realize it was Mike and Mike Productions. I was like, "Oh, shit! Oh, look!

We have money in the bank! " All right, Michael, this doesn't affect you or I, but has your wedding been postponed due to the coronavirus pandemic? If so, Busch Beer wants to give you the gift of a lifetime. Oh my God, this is fucking Busch.

Free beer for an entire year. Wow. Here's how it works. Post a photo of you and your spouse.

Explain why you're planning to commemorate your big day when and if it eventually arrives. Uses the hashtag #BushWeddingGift and hashtag #Sweepstakes. The contest ends April 59th, 11:59pm on May 1st. Winners will be selected in a random drawing on May 2nd.

The beer company says those who aren't looking to get married can tag a friend and use #MyFriendsWedding and hashtag #Sweepstakes for a chance to win Bush merchandise. They will pick 50 winners, will be selected on May 2nd, and you will win beer for a year. I want to know who's in charge of the marketing department at Bush, because they're- Evidently, somebody who's getting married and somebody who needs a dog. Yeah, man, so, so, let's see, you can get, they must have a lot of beer, oh, which falls into another story later, but that's okay, we'll get to that.

Uh, let's see, goodnight, Mickey, Disney relaunches their bedtime hotline for kids in Orlando. I figured this might help you out, Michael. bed night hotline no no disney relaunches their bedtime hotline for kids if you want to add a little magic to your kids bedtime routine the disney bedtime hotline might be just what you're looking for from now until april 30th kids can call 1-877-7-MICCY that's 1-877-7-MICCY and hear a special good night message from five disney characters mickey mouse mini mouse donald duck What's up, Daisy Duck, or Goofy? Disney hopes the magical call will give kids something to look forward to at bedtime and give parents a break.

This is the third year in a row that Disney has activated this hotline. No word on if they plan to continue it next year. It's not, you know, nothing better than mentioning kid stuff on Cigar Media, Cigar Entertainment. This is for the adults.

You can bribe your kids. Hey, bedtime, you get to call Mickey. I just, I read to my kids now. Well, let's say that you've been reading to your kids all day long.

I usually read for about 15, 20 minutes. Let's say you're a horse from the coronavirus and you need somebody to read to your children. Let me tell you how this plays out. And you don't have an Alexa, because Alexa will read a story anytime you want.

Let me tell you how this plays out. Okay, first of all, so I got these books called Who Is? Yes. And they're like chapter books about people.

Yes. So, I picked one up and it's Who Is Michael Jordan? Oh, they came here. I thought they was going to the doctor.

Yeah, no. , teaching my boys about who Michael Jordan is because, you know, they're young, and then I just got a whole bunch of them that just came in the mail today, who is Winston Churchill, what was D-Day, stuff like that, so… Oh, how exciting, Who Is Winston Churchill? It's, it's actually a bit, it's actually… It's probably very educational. It's actually fun, you know, so, so I read, read that to them, and then, you know, put on Disney Plus or whatever.

They watch their shows, and then if they circle back again, and they always circle back, I make sure that, you know, Jax has got to go read his book. Here, take the light, go read the book, that's it. Done. Oh, very nice.

Yeah. Maybe we should do a book time with Michael and put out an extra podcast every week. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. No, no, you read who is Greg, who is Chet, who is Jacob, who is Uncle Steve, and who is Grandpa Mike.

Grandpa. Papa Mike. Papa Mike, whatever name was not already taken by your father. No.

By my father? Yeah. Papa Mike? No, your father's name was not Mike.

I understand that. But what did they call your father? I'm Polish. I call him Jatic.

Oh, did they call him Jatic? They call him Jaja. Oh, isn't that nice? Yeah.

Oh. So, you will never be Jaja. No, no, I will not. That's why I would never try to replace your father, no.

So, go on. All right, Michael. Moving on. Stamilus checks are being spent on dildos, tigers, guns, and stripper poles.

Really? Stamilus checks are funding a national pandemic of impulsive buys. Americans began receiving their first batch of coronavirus, there's gonna be more than one, first batch of coronavirus relief funds this week, and now many are taking to social media to brag about the assortment of purchases, both strange and savvy. They've already made them, while many are using the emergency cash to pay bills for the necessities and living expenses, others are putting their money toward wild splurges.

Among the more trivial items people have reportedly used the extra bucks on is an inflatable dinosaur costume. Amazing. We already have one of those. Yeah, it's amazing.

Acquired without a stimulus check. Although the buyer argues that $35 price was totally worth it. Actually, I have good use for it, plus look at that price. I should have bought two, the proud dinosaur owner tweeted.

And let's see, another person put on social media, "Fuck it, I'm buying," well, they took that word out, but, "Fuck it, I'm buying a stripper pole with my stimulus check, we have to invest in our future," tweets a future exotic dancer. Some are jokingly planning to team up so they can use their economic impact payments to buy a baby tiger, hear me out, who wants to combine their stimulus checks with me, we can buy a tiger, writes one likely fan of the Tiger King. Let's see, a canopy bed is even essential, but one mom bought a princess-themed bed for her kids. Yeah, who used a check to buy, oh, here we go, the same argument goes for a woman who used her check to buy a high-end sex toy, although she concedes she bought this stimulus only after paying off a credit card.

That could help with your depression, Mike. Um, I don't know how it would help me. Yeah, you can get a reamer. No, hmm, whatever I've done, let you enjoy yours.

One hobbyist burning through a stimulus check indulged-- That was a terrible comeback, Mike. --in a paintball equipment-- No, you. --while indulged-- I know you, everyone, what am I? Co-op had bought a pricey pair of Yeezy shoes, I'm not sure what those are.

Yeezys. At least one entire stimulus check and possible additional cash went toward buying a Bird 1 e-scooter, which retails for $1,299. Oh, they had to come up with an extra 99 bucks. Yeah, they had to put a little extra money.

Media worker Ryan Cole put his check toward paying off his Fannie Mae like a boss. He put some of the stimulus check to good use. He tweets with a screenshot of his payment confirmation. One woman chose to put part of her check back into the stock market.

After joking that she'd spent her money on a house, a good Samaritan revealed her and her boyfriend had actually both donated their checks to Feeding America. Others are still in the planning stages for what they will do with the money. Looking forward to using my stimulus check to purchase another AR-15 and some 30 mags, writes one gun lover. Says America.

For those without direct deposit, checks may not arrive until mid-August or later. You can check the status if you even speed up getting the dough, but not sure, don't fall for the scams, lots of scams out there. Don't fall for the scams. Yay.

All right, CNN states that this may become the new normal. Stop it. This is from CNN, this is real news. S.

may have to endure social distancing measures such as stay-at-home orders and school closure until 2022, researchers projected on Tuesday. That is, unless a vaccine or better therapeutics become available, or we increase our critical care capacity, in other words, 2022 is one scenario of many. H. Chan School of Public Health.

We could have a new president by then. 2022? Oh. Right.

Wait, how much? Well, that would be the end, I guess, of his first term. Yeah. Yeah.

We published our findings in the Journal of Science of Tuesday. Those findings directly contradict research being touted, tooted, touted, by the White House that suggests the pandemic may stop this summer. Well, Trump says it's over in the summer. Well, that's good.

We open everything up. The team at the Harvard School of Public Health use what's known as a COVID-19 and other coronaviruses to create possible scenarios of the current pandemic. Intermediate distancing may be required until 2022 unless critical care capacity wears all that, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup. The Harvard team's projection also indicates that the virus would come roaring back fairly quickly once restrictions were lifted, Which, in Florida, since they started opening the beaches, there was an uptick over the weekend of cases.

Okay. But the beaches only open from 6 to 11, and then 5 to 8. Interesting. Yes.

Another important factor, whether people become immune to the new coronavirus after they have been infected, that's not yet known. We're all immune here, though, we have decided. Potential challenges include finding a reliable test. We're all doctors.

The study of research says they're aware that such prolonged distancing, even if intermittent, would likely have profound negative economic, social, and educational consequences. They hope the research will help identify the likely trajectories of this epidemic under the alternative approaches, identify complementary ways to fight it, and to spur further thinking about ways to get in the pandemic under control. Okay. Hold on, I have somewhere here Trump's...

I just don't believe it. What was this? A state's gross country of issue to stay-at-home orders, allowing only for essential errands or tasks. Penalties for breaking the order vary by state.

In Maine, the penalty for breaking the order can be up to six months in jail. Perfect. Well, you'll be within six feet of somebody else, anyway. Let's take away as many rights.

And up to a thousand dollar fine. In Florida, a pastor was arrested last month for continuing to hold large services and is charged with unlawful assembly in violation of public health emergency rules. But he was freed, wasn't he freed? This week states on the East and West Coast announced they are forming their own regional PACs to work together on how to reopen.

I'm gonna tell you right now, that's shit. There's no way. I mean, they're already protesting now. It's been...

Oh, Michigan, they're up in arms up in Michigan. It hasn't even been a full month. They're waving guns and signs and blocking roads and... It's pretty funny.

Like, it's just gonna get so much worse. It is just gonna get worse. Here is, I have, Donald Trump releases his three-phase plan for opening businesses back up across the country. This is the plan, Michael.

I have this right from the White House. Okay. Do you like to know what it is? Sure.

Why are you huffing and puffing at my stories here? Because it's long. You want me to go back and pull up the beat? No, it's three phases.

It's very quick, actually. Okay. In order to begin the process, a region must first experience 14 continuous days of declining instances of the COVID-19. He means the coronavirus.

Then phase one, which includes reopening gyms and restaurants While still maintaining social distances can begin. How does that work? So they're going to cap the gyms of 50 people? Those who are most at risk, no, no, no, no, no.

That's not part of his plan. That's what I was told. Oh, wait, here, larger than 50. Well, no, that involves easing social restrictions and guidelines for no groups larger than 50.

Have you seen my gym? No, I have not been. When I pick you up there, I'm only allowed outside. It's like a shopping mall.

It's gigantic. It's fucking gigantic. There are four or five classes going on. Maybe it's, well, the classes can't unless they keep everybody six feet apart.

There's basketball games, what do you know we're not going to play basketball? There's three basketball courts. Can't play basketball unless they're six feet apart. And there's no way that you can do a weight room that keeps everybody six feet apart.

Sure it is. What if you need a spot? You can't use spots. Oh, okay.

You have to use it for a machine. Oh, really? So... All machines.

So let me... No free weights, all machines, because you don't need a spotter on a machine. Bullshit. So let me tell you something.

So what happens if a guy, if a guy's on the bench, right, bit off a little more than he could choose? You know, it took... Can't use the bench, it's not a machine. He took the past 60 days off, you know, just kind of eating some donuts or whatever.

And he's going back to the weight he used last. He throws 305 on there, yeah, 400 pounds, whatever. Yeah. Picks it up, and all of a sudden, he can't get it off of him.

I'm just gonna leave him because he's not, if I can get that close. He can't get within six feet, you know. Well, first. I don't want him to get sick.

We already established no free weights, just machines. Are you serious? Yes. Is that what it says?

Yes. Seriously? No, they don't specifically list their gym requirements on this story. That's bullshit.

This is a general phase one, two, and three, Michael. Ridiculous. If Ronda Santa says no fucking free weights, that's it. I'm voting for somebody else.

Before I draw the line. I'm surprised you have not added to your weight equipment at your house. You can only do so much. So, like, I mean, the only thing that I need- I saw you drooling over Mr.

Baldwin's squat rack. Yeah, it's the only thing I need is a squat rack. You can't turn your jumpy thing or what? My power tower?

The Power Tower, you can't put pegs in it? No, I can do enough with the dumbbells, but the problem, like, I'm not, for one, they're sold out everywhere. They're sold out. You want me to find you one?

" Okay, can I get on to what phase two is now, Mike? You gotta buy, you gotta buy smart, Mike. If the area does not see another increase after the phase one release, Social restriction guidelines with groups no larger than 50 instead of current 10. Employees should still telecommute if possible, but schools, camps, and bars can reopen.

Okay, so first of all... That's phase two. So, okay, so there's two problems with this. Yes.

I can fix this real quick. So, first of all... Please, tell the government how they're doing this wrong. Okay, so let's say that there's...

And we're coming up on an hour almost. Let's say that there's realistically 2,000 tests going on in Florida every day. Okay. And that number continues to increase, and now you have 2,200, 2,500...

It's not the number of tests, the number of active... I understand that. But as you continue to test more people, you're going to have more active cases, right? Do you know if you get a test, are you allowed to get a second test?

I don't know. I have no idea. Okay, let's say I get a test. Phase one starts.

Look. I don't have it. Look. Then I start...

I'm gonna... Listen. Can I get another test? Stop.

I'm still on my rant here. So this is how you fix this, right? And this has been episode 118. You want 14 days consecutive fucking downturn?

Stop testing. Just shut it down. Hey, we've had zero new cases. Zero new cases for two weeks.

It's amazing. Well, they're not testing though. That's not accurate information. But what they're saying isn't accurate either because they continue to build more tests compared to the last.

It's not based on the number of people they test. It's the number of people that catch it. It's simple statistics. If you test 100 people.

Yes. Right? Yes. X amount are going to have the test.

Okay. They're going to have the virus, right? Right? Okay.

Right? I don't know what the percentages are, but I'll disagree with you. And I think it's like 90% don't have it. So if you do 200 people, the percentage number is still the same, but the overall cases are still more.

Right? Okay, what they're saying is, Michael, listen to me. Listen to what this is. Listen to me, Michael.

What is it? In a 14-day period, there is decline in the number of people who show that they have it. Right. So here's the deal.

Good deal. As they continue to pump in more tests on a daily basis, you're going to have more cases because you're testing more people, right? Right or wrong? Maybe it's based on a percentage then, Michael.

It's not. It's definitely not. Well, how do you know they're going to do it? There's nowhere in his plan, does it say.

It's the government, man. The government is not here to help us, period. It's just that simple. All right.

Okay. Then we won't move on then to the... To phase three? What the hell is going on outside?

Well, they're bringing... They're coming to get you, Michael, is what it is. They're bringing more tests. All right.

Well, that's going Moving on to the next story. And I'm not saying that this isn't a big deal. This is a serious issue. Yes, it is.

People are dying. People are dying. But again, you've got to tilt that line. Every day.

You've got to do the right thing. I went out and checked at my parents today. Yeah. But obviously, I didn't go in the house.

Yeah. I had to stand in the driveway. I wore a mask. Maybe you died through the window?

" I mean, like his little dog. You can't go outside. Back. Get back.

And Dave's like, what did I say? No, you can't go outside. Fifty first dates. But when I left, it was kind of, I mean, when I left, I told him, I go, look, I've got friends whose parents are dying every day, for one reason or another.

You know, Dave died, and I had a friend down south. Which wasn't coronavirus. No, he didn't, but he'll be in that statistic, though, according to what they're doing. He'll just slide him in there.

So is Jeff Epstein. Right. Epstein. Florida man passed by alligator.

I go, look, don't go out if you don't have to. Do you need anything? I'll go to the store. If I need anything, I'll go to the store, and they go, well, we only go out for our medicine and groceries, and they wear a mask, but when I left, I'm like, I could not technically see them again.

True. I mean, that could happen. Yeah. They're in their, you know, they're in their 70s, they have health problems like it is, so.

Yeah, true. Well, not only that, not only, you know, could you not see them again because of the coronavirus, but you could not see them again because of one of the other reasons why they die, right? Yeah. And then, God forbid, they pass.

In this scenario, I mean, funeral's out. Yeah, just the funeral. Like, everything's a fucking mess. Right.

So let's open up the funeral homes. They're essential. But the problem is, we all go to the funeral, and then we catch it from somebody who's there. We'll wear masks, and we'll sit six feet apart, and we won't shake hands.

Oh, there's a lot of hugging at funerals, Michael. A lot of hugging. A lot of hugging. A lot of hugging.

A lot of hugging going on. I just want to know, your dad dies, I'm hugging you. You're getting a fucking hug. I don't give a fuck.

At that point, you know, what are you worried about? I'm gonna give it to you. Whatever. You have young children.

They'll be fine. I've lived a full life. My kids are grown. My kids are resilient.

They said the youth is fine. See, the coronavirus lockdown may cause the country... We're gonna have to take another commercial. The coronavirus lockdown may cause the country to run out of beer, soda, and other carbonated beverages.

Did you know that? Well, that sucks because Sunday's my cheat day and I drink a lot of soda on that day. I would be very upset. If you drink beer, soda...

Do you really? Is that one of the things you just guzzled out on Sunday? Yeah, I think I had like six Cokes. Wow.

That was amazing. Holy crap. Being beer, soda, or other carbonated beverages, then the coronavirus lockdown may soon have another unpleasant side effect: shelves that are empty of all carbonated beverages. Right.

Oh, you know what the new toilet paper is? The new missing item in stores? What? Do you want to guess?

Shirts. No. Frozen pizza. Oh.

People are stockpiling frozen pizzas. So people are wiping their ass with frozen pizzas? No. You said what was the new toilet paper?

The next item to be missing in the grocery store. Ah, that's a big deal? Yes, because people who normally buy one or two, they're buying four or five or six, everybody wants to have their frozen pieces for some reason. Because it's easy.

Smart. It's smart, it's easy, yes. I'll tell you what, every day I look at my toilet paper roll, I'm like, oh man, it's scary. It's getting scary.

It's getting scary. Oh, it's getting low? I don't know. It's available by when you go out on your weekly things.

No, not when we've gone. Really? Well, get it out of here before you leave. They have it over around the corner.

I don't think that I'm at that level yet. But I feel like... We still buy one, if we go out and they have it, no I didn't today when I went to Target, I didn't even go down that aisle, but if we go to Publix for a food run and they have it, we'll buy one. You have a problem.

See, you're the problem. I'm only buying one. I'm allowed two. You have a fucking garage full of toilet paper.

No, no, we just have a shelf in the pantry. You're a teepee hoarder. No, I'm not. But my wife did say, she goes, I'm learning to get by with less, if that's one positive thing.

No. No. No. No.

No. Wrapping up her hand. Like, what are you doing? Did you get shot?

According to Reuters, beverage makers have begun issuing warnings that nation's supply of compressed carbon dioxide is now threatened due to a chain of events caused by the coronavirus lockdown. Do you know why we're running out of carbon dioxide? No. It's a byproduct of making gasoline.

We need gas? No, that's just it. Nobody's buying the gas, so they're not making gas, so they're not making carbon dioxide. It's a byproduct.

When they... So you're saying everything's fucked up? It's all a domino thing. Everything's falling apart.

So like, at what point, at what point does everybody just lose their shit? 'Cause like... I think we're almost there. It's coming, buddy.

I think we're almost there. $1,200 ain't gonna go a long way, man, I'll tell you right now. Some of the country will just have me drink flat soda and beer. Especially when the media's touting the $20 million that fucking Ruth's Chris got.

Oh. If I have seen that story one more time. Hey, what? I never didn't go there before, but I'm definitely not going.

Have you ever been to Shakeology or whatever that one is? No. They gave their money back. They got $10 million and they gave it back, said smaller companies need it more than us.

That was smart. But I hear their hamburgers cost $72. You know what? I will go buy a $72 burger from Shakeology.

I don't think we have them here in Florida. I've never seen one before. I'll have it flown in. I'll have somebody carrying the coronavirus, put it on a plane, and then I will eat said burger.

Let's see. According to Reuters, 34 of the 45 ethanol plants in the United States have either curtailed or completely eliminated. We get it. There's no soda.

Okay, thanks. All right, moving on. All right, we've got three minutes. You want to take another break?

I only got one more story. Uh, yeah, take another break. All right, we'll take another break. We'll be right back.

Hey, it's Mike Toom, Cigar Hustlers Podcast. Looking for high-quality swag from the show? com/thecigarhustlerpodcast. We have everything from t-shirts and hats to phone cases and beach towels.

com/thecigarhustlerpodcast. Get your show swag and become a true hustler. And we're back. Are we back?

And we're back. Yes, video and audio both. We're back. Excellent.

Excellent. Okay, Michael. All the men of the world may be having a problem here. Uh-oh.

Apparently, testicles make men more vulnerable to coronavirus. Aha! The coronavirus could linger in the testicles, making men prone to longer, more severe cases of the illness according to a history. In the sack.

Researchers tracked the recovery of 68 patients in Mumbai, India, to study the gender disparity of the virus, Which has taken a worse toll on men, according to a preliminary report posted on MedRex, which hosts unpublished medical research papers that have not been peer-reviewed. Dr. Aditi Shamatri, an oncologist at Montreal Medical Center in the Bronx, and evidently it's a woman, no wonder, because they probably hate men, and her mother, Dr. Janisha Shastari.

She's going around checking out sacks. A microbiologist at the Kesterby Hospital for Infectious Disease in Mumbai, I don't know if I trust anything in Mumbai. I don't trust anything on the news anymore ever again from any source. Said the virus attaches itself to a protein that occurs in high levels in the testicles.

How do you, how do you think to come up with this? You know what, I think it is in the testicles. We should check every man's testicles. The protein known as, I don't know, something, converting enzyme to or ACE2, It is present in the lungs, the gastrointestinal tract, and the heart, in addition to large quantities in the testicles.

Oh, very nice. But since testicles, low testicles, are walled off from the immune system, oh, I didn't know that, the virus could harbor there for long periods in the rest of the body, according to the study. The mother-daughter researches... We're gonna check out a bunch of nuts.

Daughter, I have an idea. How do we get multiple pictures of nuts? These findings may explain why women bounce back from the virus more quickly. - Because they have no balls.

- They have no balls. Let's determine that the average amount of time for female patients to be cleared of the virus was four days, while men saw recoveries on an average where... - 75 days. - Oh, oh, listen, listen, two days longer.

- It's because of the nuts. - Because we have two nuts. - Oh, we've done further research. - We're two days longer, the reports.

- We've looked into the sack. Apparently, clean-shaven sacks are... - Is that better or worse? - I don't know.

We need to know. Call Dr. Hudulaba. Dr.

Shimanti, and her mother, the other Dr. Shimanti. You know what? I want to get into the nutsack profession.

With you, mom. Yeah, that's a great idea, honey. How many men do you know as nuts? We can check.

Okay, well you just did an Instagram Live, I guess you'd call it, but is that an actual show he does? I did, yeah. Okay, called the... Unicorn Slayer?

Unicorn Slayer? Yeah, that's what it was, Unicorn Slayer. Unicorn Slayer. Which he has in beautiful pink and blue neon behind him on the wall, I saw.

Oh, I didn't see that. Yeah, he showed it before you got on. Oh. I was one of the first person to cling in and he thought I was you for a minute because it said Cigar Hustler Mike.

Oh, I didn't realize you were watching. Yeah, because you never said a word and I watched the entire thing. You didn't make any comments. I'm not going to steal your thunder, Michael.

It was your show. You didn't comment. I did in the beginning. I responded to comments.

I did in the beginning before you got on and he said something to me in the beginning and then that was it. Because he mentioned, he called us Cigar Media. Yeah, I thought that was kind of fucked up. Cigar Media puts limitations on our show.

Right. We need no limitations. But I did realize we were the number one show on Podbean. He knows.

He knew. Tommy knows. Tommy knows. Tommy knows.

Nickel City Cigars. That's right. Oh, and a poor guy. His grand opening was right during the pandemic.

Bup, bup, whew, womp, womp. Couldn't have any worse luck than that. No shit. But it was an interesting little show.

Way to go for an hour. Did he go for an hour? Yeah. I guess that's the longest you're allowed to do.

It went for an hour because they shut it down. " I wonder if he records them. He said he did. He said it shows up in his Instagram stories later or something, but I don't know how he could do it.

Well, maybe he did IGTV. Maybe he goes to IGTV. It could be. I mean, I asked some hard questions.

What were your hard questions? How many people did he slept with? Oh, yeah, seven. Bang, Mary, Killed.

Oh, I didn't hear the Bang, Mary, Killed. Oh, I didn't hear the bang where it killed. Mike kept locking up. It would lock up and then come back and it would skip a minute or two.

Yeah, I mean IG Live is not the way to go. No, but it's, you know, apparently it works for him. The only thing though, he asked you if you were a war bear. Yeah.

Okay, the actual story of the war bear, he supported the army. He was originally purchased or bought to entertain the troops. And then as the things became necessary he learned how to do different things and brush stuff to them. Well, I'm more the war bearer in this operation than you are.

Oh, okay. The war bearer's not the guy that's up fighting the battle. Hey, you can be the war bearer. He's the guy that entertains the troops and then, you know, like I did here, I learned how to do stuff eventually.

It's your show, yeah. It's not my show. Yeah. This is your show.

Nope. Wow, this show's long. It's an hour and two minutes. Whew.

All right. Well, that's it. That's all I got. What the fuck are we talking about?

That's all I got. That's it, I don't know, it just whizzed by, quickly. It did, it felt like nothing. Nothing for you, your job is done, you just leave.

Yes. I have a lot of editing and things to do. I do nothing, yes. We're going to have a new Patreon commercial too.

I listened to the Matt Booth Patreon show, it's quite entertaining, but I'm going to cut some of his stuff out. Wait a second, he has a Patreon? Matt Booth? He did our Patreon last week.

Uh, yeah, I thought you said he had, like, no, no, he did ours, we are now randomly calling, uh, Cigar People on our Patreon, let's plug the Patreon for a minute, yeah, so we get more people if you made it this, this far, you made it this far at the show, and have not turned it off yet, the, yeah, the, the random Patreon calling was, that was fun, it was fun, did you ever hear from Skip, on him not answering the phone, no, nothing, no, no, he won't acknowledge that, let's it go. All right, this is it, then. This has been episode 118. 118, baby.

In the books. The Cigar Hustler Podcast. The Cigar Hustler Podcast. All right, guys.

Thank you for watching. Everybody take care. Social distancing. Wash your hands.

Wash your hands. Wash your hands. Wash your hands. And that's it.

We're out. See you later. Bye. We invite you to write the show's host, Mike Szczepankiewicz, with any feedback or suggestions that you have for their shows.

These broadcasts are presented and made public as entertainment in the hope that they will be entertaining to the audience. This has been a Cigar Hustlers Podcast, a Mike and Mike production. m. for all new episodes.

Hi, I'm doing... I'm Husto-I-Raw. Yeah, we just don't have to do a single podcast ever again. Perfect.

I'm good, Mike and Mike. How are you guys doing? The hojo de... Hojo!

It's the hojo! The madre... You didn't even let him fuck it up all the way. I couldn't get past hojo!

I don't even have to try it. He's not even going to try it. We're going to cover a lot of ground here, Mike. All right.

Try to keep up. That's a sign of a good podcast. You're going to be like four cigars when I walked in a door. All right, end this.

Squid.

Show Notes

This week we say goodbye to a shop regular....everything is all right!  Why the WWE is an essential business.... and who are these Nut Doctors??

All this and more on this weeks A Cigar Hustlers Podcast!

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