Episode 122 Corona, corona, corona...Canceled!!...Lets hear to for Ronald McPublix!!

Episode Summary

Episode 122 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast is an industry-news-heavy episode recorded in week 13 of the COVID-19 shutdown in Central Florida. Hosts Mike and Michael open with shop banter — home renovation and tile work, a broken garage spring, a memorably rancid dead lizard in a broom handle — before turning to the state of the cigar business. Michael is smoking a Wise Man Maduro Churchill and argues the Churchill vitola beats the other sizes on flavor, and both hosts note the recent Tobacco Business Magazine feature on Nick.

The news block starts with a U.S. Embassy health alert out of Managua, Nicaragua (May 14, 2020), including closed land borders with Costa Rica and Honduras, suspended commercial air service, and shelter-in-place guidance — with the hosts wondering aloud what that means for getting product out of Nicaraguan factories. The centerpiece is the cancellation of the 2020 PCA (Premium Cigar Association) Trade Show and Convention, which was slated for July 10 at the Sands Expo in Las Vegas. The hosts dig into Charlie Minato's reporting at Halfwheel about PCA's hotel room-block guarantees, the Nevada gaming board's 250-person convention cap, and the bigger existential question: if brands and retailers discover they can survive a year without the trade show, will they come back and spend next year? Meanwhile, InterTabac in Dortmund, Germany is still on for September 18–20, 2020.

They then lay out a packed fall 2020 cigar event calendar — Texas Cigar Fest (Aug 8), Weasel Fest (Sept 5), InterTabac (Sept 18–20), CigarFest in Pennsylvania (Oct 16–17), the usually-mid-October Tampa Cigar Bash, Cigar Aficionado's Big Smoke in Hollywood, Florida (Oct 31) and Las Vegas 20 days later, and the Cigar Heritage Festival in Tampa (Dec 6–8), with TPE kicking off 2021 in late January. Rounding it out: Florida's phase-two reopening, gyms staying closed, Publix returning to normal hours (the "Ronald McPublix" runner), the Florida Keys reopening June 1, angry pandemic shoppers, a Listener of the Week shout-out to Jeff Moutet of Riverside Cigars for 15 years of sobriety, a Patreon review of the Unstolen Valor cigar, and the shop's upcoming May 29 six-foot movie night sampler deal with unlimited popcorn.

In This Episode

1. 01
   Shop Banter and Home Renovation Stories
   Tile work, mortar dust sneezing in public during COVID, a broken garage door spring, and the infamous dead lizard rotting inside a broom handle.
2. 02
   Wise Man Maduro Churchill and Tobacco Business Magazine
   Why the hosts prefer the Churchill vitola of Wise Man Maduro, plus the magazine feature on Nick.
3. 03
   Downtown Sanford Reopening and Celery City Cigars
   A night out in Sanford, smoking a War Bear, and Jimmy slinging cigars curbside with a box of Baccarat stashed away.
4. 04
   Nicaragua COVID-19 Health Alert
   The U.S. Embassy in Managua's May 14 alert, closed borders with Costa Rica and Honduras, suspended flights, and what it means for cigar production and shipping.
5. 05
   PCA 2020 Trade Show Canceled
   The Premium Cigar Association cancels its Las Vegas convention, and the hosts debate hotel room guarantees, Nevada's 250-person cap, and whether PCA can survive.
6. 06
   InterTabac Germany Still On
   The world's largest international tobacco trade show plans to proceed September 18–20 in Dortmund with possible attendance limits.
7. 07
   Fall 2020 Cigar Event Schedule
   A run-through of Texas Cigar Fest, Weasel Fest, CigarFest, Tampa Cigar Bash, Big Smoke, Cigar Heritage Festival, and TPE 2021.
8. 08
   Florida Reopening, Publix, and Listener of the Week
   Phase two rules, Publix restoring normal hours, the Keys reopening June 1, and a shout-out to Jeff Moutet of Riverside Cigars for 15 years sober.

Brands & Cigars Discussed

Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.

Transcript

Welcome to episode 122 of a Cigar Hustler podcast this week. Corona, Corona, Corona. Uh, it's finally canceled and let's hear it for Ronald McPublics. All this and more on this episode of a Cigar Hustler's podcast.

That's it. It's on. Okay. I'm still looking over here where the camera used to be.

I don't like this. I like this. This is episode 122. See, now when I look at that, I'm a cigar hustler podcast.

Take two. What a great angle. Look at this, because you're just always on now. Oh, look at you.

So handsome. So handsome. This is what I look like straight on, or at least partially straight on. Oh no, it's right at you, Michael.

Boom. Oh, I look very bulky and... Very masculine. Very masculine from this angle.

Nice. Alright, this is episode 122. Well, we did have our first episode that we were recording, we turned it off though, but we did have, we were FaceTiming Mr. Yogurlite.

Yes, he had to go his nap time. I feel like we have to acknowledge that, that he didn't make the cut, unfortunately. " Damn it, didn't make it again. Cutting room floor.

Unfortunately, Greg came in and interrupted, so he got the axe, pal. Sorry. With this, the new feature he wants to start with, what does Greg want now? What is Greg doing?

That's even better. What is Greg actually doing today? What is Greg doing? Super busy.

Now he's out there yelling so that we can hear him. Oh, look at you with the Lancero. Oh, you're so fancy. No, no, the Wise Man Maduro is the best one is the Churchill.

This is a Churchill. Oh, oh, okay, all right. So, I don't know why, but I really enjoy the flavor profile of the Churchill over the other sizes. Big article about Nick in this month's Tobacco Business Magazine.

Yeah. Big article. Oh, really? A lot of pictures.

I like the pictures. I don't read the article. I have to read the pictures. Yeah, it's such a waste of time.

Beautiful photos. It's fantastic. Fantastic. So I've been doing some tile work.

Oh, you're still doing the home renovations. Yeah, I'm doing the fireplace. Oh, let's see. We've done renovated.

Oh, we wanted to renovate. Yeah. Oh, but wait. Sorry.

Go ahead. Yeah. Oh, thanks. Oh, no.

Go ahead. Go ahead. So my wife and I, Brittany, we've been working on it together. It's going along very nicely.

But I will tell you this. For whatever the fucking reason, because I've been mixing the mortar mix and thinset and stuff, I've been like nasally and sneezing and shit for the past couple of days. You're not wearing a mask? No.

Kicks up dust and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it hardens in your nasal cavity. Yeah, so that's going on.

You have COVID. So I've been sneezing a little bit. So I got gas today, and I sure as shit busted out a ha-choo! And I feel like everybody didn't want to make eye contact.

Look at it and just put you down right there. Yeah, they're like, "Kill him! Kill him now! " So that was fun.

If you want, I'll give you a picture. You can put it on the Cigar Houses podcast. Have you sneezed? Of my progress.

Certainly, if you'd like. I'm quite the, uh, hey. But now it will have to be over here, because that is where the space is. Or just put it up on the Instagram or whatever.

Oh! Well, I'd make it part of the show. You're a big deal, Michael. People want to know what you're doing at home.

Yeah, I'm sure. Very concerned. Very concerned. It's just funny that it made me sneeze.

Or at least I think that's what made me sneeze. Or maybe it's the corona, I don't know. Our garage door broke yesterday. Oh!

We get home from being out and hit the button, goes up two inches, stops. So I go around and I unhook it, you know, try to lift it, all of a sudden that door weighs 7,000 pounds. Your spring broke. Yeah, up at the top.

Yeah. And I remember that time we did that one at your house. Yeah. And Greg just kept telling us to stand away.

Yeah, because he's an idiot. Well, he said the first three things on every video watch said that this will kill you if you do it wrong. I'm sure that was just to make us think he was, you know, a bigger guy. But still, I got somebody coming.

So much to do. I got somebody coming, I'm not doing it. Yeah, you're a renter. That's right.

That is why. Oh, and also, you know, we got that dishwasher that doesn't work. New dishwasher doesn't work. So we just made a maintenance call on the dishwasher, and they're buying a new dishwasher.

Oh, lovely. Yes. It's like a $150 fix. Put in a new one.

Yeah, but I don't have to pay it. Yeah, I'm saying. Yeah. Cheaper to put a new one in than fix the old one.

Exactly. Exactly. So, did we say it was episode 122? I feel so weird looking that way.

I feel like you did. Oh. We went out to Sanford downtown on Saturday night. Friday night?

Hey, smoked a War Bear. Yeah, they did not have Celery City cigars opened, but one Jimmy was out there with one of those schmags. You know what a schmag is? The Middle Eastern head wrap thing.

Oh, very nice. Yeah. So, he comes over, you know. He's such a large white man, too.

That, you know, totally makes sense. Makes sense. Yeah. Everybody else there is wearing a mask that says Celery City, I made up a t-shirt or something.

He's got a camel out front. It's amazing. He's got a shmagon running around. But yeah, he was still, as he said, slinging cigars, but you just had to tell him what you wanted.

That's cool. So that was nice, yeah. Yeah, and then he hides the warbears, so. Well, that's what I said.

I go, rumor is you got a couple of warbears in there, man. He's like, son of a bitch! Yes, I do. I said, is the box open?

He goes, yeah, okay. I go, alright, that's not a lot. Evidently, though, he's got a box of Bacca's he's sitting on. Yeah, I should have had you bring the humidor.

Oh, well, if I knew it was his. Oh, by the way, I brought you this. Hey, I got this out of my car. It's a pain in the ass.

It's too big. It's too big. He's got that nice little truck, though. He does.

But it was almost like everything was normal, almost. It's getting there. It's getting closer, yeah. It was nice to be able to go out and go to a few places.

Just open the theme parks, please. I need my water park. Well, who opened up? CityWalk?

CityWalk opened up, right? Partially. Partially. And I think Disney Springs is opening up this Wednesday.

Yeah. Those are supposedly all the tests to see where else opens. I need a couple things here to open up. You know, the one really good thing that I've got to tell you, I don't know if I mentioned this at all before, is that the baseball season for my son ended.

Right, yeah. Which was good, because I didn't kill any parents or coaches. Yeah, we did have an episode where you were going to kill someone. Yeah, so, you know, that never parlayed, that never, you know, because I never saw the guy again.

So, that worked out well in your favor. He's not encouraging for other little children to hurt little children. He's probably home telling his kids to cough on the other kids when you see them. This is what I need you to do.

You need to rub your hands all over the face. Sweep the leg, Johnny. Sweep the leg! Yeah, exactly.

He's definitely Cobra Kai, without question. Well, you know, he was the one that was being bullied. That's true. He was just trying to smoke some weed and relax.

What was the Karate Kid's name? Danny. Danny. I just watched Karate Kid 2 the other day.

Wow, he's an incredibly bad actor. It was good at the time, though, man. Yeah, you thought it was good at the time, yeah. Yeah, 80s.

Good stuff. Watching the fight, now the big fight at the end, it only takes like five minutes, but they're both completely exhausted. And I could have missed those kicks he was throwing because his leg doesn't even go out. Oh, God.

Oh. I'll tell you what. So, that's it. I watched Last Dance with the Chicago Bulls.

Oh, that's right. That's officially over. She has the Last Dance. I was thinking of Dirty Dance.

It was amazing. I was thinking of Dirty Dance. Skip was giving it a hard time because the timeline jumped back and forth and shit. Yeah.

But there's like purpose for it. Oh. I didn't watch any of it. But he's so angry.

He's so angry. But it was really good. It was really good. It was really good.

I'm glad you enjoyed it. I mean, yeah. A lot of people seem like they did. I was never really a big Michael Jordan fan.

I'm like, wow, this guy was the real deal. He probably could have won another one. Son of a bitch. They fucked him.

Well, you know. Well, now somebody's yelling outside. A lot of yelling. A lot of yelling going on today.

Alright. So much activity. The non-essentials are out. The non-essentials are out and about.

Speaking of non-essentials, have you seen all the posts now that, If we can't sit for graduation in a gym or on a football field, maybe they can go to Home Depot, Walmart, and something else, and they can say all their names on the intercom system. I'm just tired of it, man. I'm just tired of all of it. I am too, but I mean- The fake news, the real news, the fucking- I'm tired of all the comparisons that aren't really comparisons.

Right. The Facebook shit is just out of control. It's more out of control than normal. I mean, holy shit.

It is. It's just insane. It's terrible. So that's just it.

Do you watch the fake news on TV or do you get your social media news? Which one's right? Because we're running out of choices here. I don't really get, I mean, I go to the, I don't really go anywhere.

You don't go, you don't know. I just listen to DeSantis. I believe him. He's our governor.

Oh, yeah. You know, I don't think. That's all that matters. Oh, yeah.

Just, it doesn't matter if he's right or wrong. It's just whatever he's making the rules that day. Tell me what you're going to tell us and I'm just going to move forward with that. There you go.

Because you're in charge. You're the boss, so that's the way it works. Okay, everybody has to wear that one blue sock and one red sock because we found out white socks are no good. Blue socks it is.

That's it, fine, blue socks. You know, if you don't want to wear them, fuck you too. I don't really care. Stay home, I don't care.

Mask, no mask, whatever you want to do. I've sort of given up on a mask, to be honest with you. Enjoy your life. Yeah.

We are week 13 here now. I still wear mine. If I'm out by myself, I do. Yeah.

But if we go out, like we obviously went downtown Sanford, I mean, you'd be taking it off eating and drinking all night long. Well, if you're at a restaurant, how do you wear a mask? Right. But the staff does.

That's nice. They like that. And the girl who brings food has got on gloves. It's amazing how many places down there that you thought were a bar suddenly serve food.

Oh, we're a restaurant. We're a restaurant now. We are essential. That's right.

All right. Here we go. Yeah, let's get this party started already, man. We're talking about tile work and baseball.

Ten minutes. I hate looking over there for the camera. I love it. This is so nice.

My neck. Now I'm going to have a kink in my neck for the next three days. So much freedom. Health Alert, US Embassy Managua, Nicaragua, May 14th, 2020, US Health, the US Embassy Managua, Nicaragua, location, Nicaragua, as of May 14th, the government of Nicaragua has reported 25 cases of COVID-19, included cases transmitted through the community spread.

How are they testing? Come on. Independent health monitors, Michael, apparently. Independent health monitors report the actual number of cases is likely much higher.

Independent reporting also suggests that the spread of Corona may be, we're changing the name again, It can be impacting the ability of the medical system in areas outside of Managua to effectively respond, so the witch doctor cannot get around with his rattles and his bones. Ooh, la bruja. There you go. While the Nicaraguan government has not officially announced border restrictions, the land borders with the Costa Rican and Honduras are closed.

All commercial air service between Nicaragua and the United States remains suspended until at least early June. So it's just a Nicaraguan problem, or is that a Honduran, Nicaraguan, and Costa Rican problem? Well, this is just... I mean, it seems global to me.

I don't know. S. Health Department about Nicaragua. Okay.

S. citizens still in Nicaragua to prepare now to shelter in place. S. citizens remaining in Nicaragua must ensure that they have an adequate supply of food, water, and medicine to shelter for at least two weeks.

Yeah, 'cause, okay. The zombies, leave the zombies everywhere. gov for additional tips if you happen to be down there listening to the show. Oh.

Additional tips to prepare yourself and your family to shelter in place. Can we get product out of there? S. Health Department and the Embassy in Nicaragua.

They're not chipping anything? I don't know, it doesn't say. Yeah, I think they still are. Probably.

Probably. I think I heard that Skip said that like the roller and bunchers, and that one day the bunchers work, one day the rollers work. Well, I mean, that guy actually does, you know, he tries to take care of his people. Yeah, just keep everybody working.

You know, unlike every other factory. They're just handing out eggs and milk. Those people. We're so great.

The dairy farmers of the tobacco world. Press release. All right, Michael. It's finally happened.

The PCA has been canceled. Yeah, I was waiting for you to mention that one. The Premium Cigar Association has announced it has canceled its 2020 trade show and convention. Look, I mean...

Can I finish this? Go ahead, go ahead. You do what you want. Well, the past 11 months have arguably been the most tumultuous in the PCA's 80...

Trumultuous? Yeah, that word. 28-year-old in the Tabacalera factory. Did I say it right that time?

Oh, that was good. Oh, that's pretty cool. Ultimately, the event has been canceled due to the Corona-19 pandemic. The BCA Trade Show and Convention has been scheduled to open July 10th in Las Vegas at Sands Expo Convention Center, and then there's just a bunch of other stuff that makes them sound like they had this going all along.

Well, Vegas is still a mess. I don't think Vegas is still, has not opened yet. Yeah. But, I gotta throw this down here.

Because the cameras are over there now. The guys that really control it, the gambling board of drag, whatever, what's that called, whatever? They said you can only have 250 people on a convention floor at one time. That sounds like fun.

Well, that would be just the people that are working. That isn't enough? No. It may be a very small, very small convention.

And I'd miss Danny, because he'd be the first to go. Aw. Right? And that would hurt my heart, Danny.

Poor Danny. Well, as Vegas is getting ready to reopen the Venetian, In addition, which is a hotel and casino, which contains... Actually, I think John was hired after Danny, so John would probably be the first to go. Oh, I thought you meant health-wise, you just meant first, the last one in, first one out?

If there was a number of people. Oh, a number of people that are not allowed. I thought you meant he was going to get sick, like he was sickly. I mean, it's not like, yeah, and then like, you know, Skip has health conditions, so it's not like he...

He wouldn't go. Yeah. He can't go. Now, where's the fun in that?

Yep. Mike's not going to let Jamie go because he doesn't want his family to get sick. Yeah. She goes down with the kids, so it would be Mike and Sean.

That'd be it. Lightweight heavy, nothing gets him sick. Nothing gets lightweight heavy. Nothing can take lightweight heavy down.

That guy. The guidelines include enforced social distancing. He is an antibody. So you can't get near anybody.

Last week, oh, here we go, the Nevada Gaming Convention issued guidelines capped the occupancy for 250 people at a convention. So that was not going to work. But there is good news, Michael. Organizers say enter to back 2020 will happen as scheduled.

Oh, okay, but can we talk about PCA now? Oh, certainly now you can, yes. I figured you were done. So here's the funny part about the PCA.

The real question is, can they survive this? Yes, there's been several articles put out by all the regular media people. Can they survive it? What will happen?

I think they're better off canceling it than having it and nobody shows. But the real question is, how do they handle this going into the next one? Right. Well, I forget whose article it was, and we'll just say it's Coop, because I like Coop.

Okay. The real problem here is that everybody's going to see how they can survive without it. That's true, too. So if they cannot have a significant drop in sales because there was no convention, why spend the money next year?

Yeah. So that's the biggest problem. So then the PCA has to really kind of recalibrate as far as... They have to figure out some way to bring everybody back.

Incentives and shit and all that other stuff. Charlie Minato got some information that they even have to- Of Half-Wheel? Yes, of Half-Wheel. PCA has to guarantee a certain number of rooms are occupied for the convention in the hotel.

If not, they have to pay for the rooms. Oh! So, had it been a less-than-successful event, the cost of the hotel rooms could have cost them as much, if not more, than the profits they would have made. So that was leaked, he got that from someone.

Well, I mean, you know, we can always do it at the SLS, whatever the hell it's called now, it's like TPE. What's the SLS? It's the other hotel. Oh.

We're in the head of the convention. Treasure Island? Treasure Island? Circus Circus!

That's what I'm talking about. PCA Circus Circus. Hey. Yes.

So, Inter Tobacco is going on. Center Tobac, the world's largest international tobacco trade show, says the 2020 event is expected to take place as scheduled in dormant Germany. When is that? When or what?

Yeah, when is it? That is September 18th through the 20th, 2020. Oh yeah, that's far away. A very long German name of the company that I'm not even going to try to pronounce.

You may have a vaccine by then. Possibly, yes. The company that owns both the event and the convention center where it takes place announced today that it is moving forward with plans to have the event. Though further details about health and safety measures related to the coronavirus pandemic will be announced next month.

Everybody gets a bubble. You get to go in. Afterwards, we will evaluate the measures. I can't do a German accent, so we'll just go with this.

Yeah, I'm a new German accent and Chinese. Yeah, you want to just be Chinese? "We coordinate our photo course of action, especially with regard to the inter-tobac and inter-supply," says Sabine Luce, Managing Director of the West... That's exactly how he sounds.

West Fall Holland in a statement. " It does sound a little German actually. The statement from the company indicates that part of those safety measures could include a limit about the number of people attending the event. Last year, Inner Tobac said that 13,800 people attended the event, which has over 500 exhibitors from 47 countries.

Hmm. So, I put together, Michael, the schedule. Oh, you're not supposed to touch your face. I just touched my face before.

That was my tongue. I actually touched a tongue, it's worse than a face. I did like one of these. Oh, no.

Here's the fall 2020 cigar schedule. It's gonna be very, very busy in the fall. Oh, let's see. Okay.

Texas Cigar Fest is August 8th. Okay. And then from that, you have just under 30 days to go to the Weasel Fest. It's September 5th.

Okay. And then you have, what, two weeks between that and the Enter to Back in Germany. Mm-hmm. And then from that, you have to immediately board a plane because you have less than a month And then a month to go to Cigar Fest in Pennsylvania, Cigar Fest 2020, October 16th and 17th, and then the Tapa Cigar Bash is usually in October, but they have not released any date yet, so I don't know if that happened, but that's normally the middle of October also, and then the Big Smoke is October 31st on Halloween down in Hollywood, Florida.

Is that the Cigar Fishnana one? Yes, yes, and then they have the Las Vegas Big Smoke. It is 20 days later in Las Vegas, if they're open, I guess. I'm sure they will be by then.

Finally, you get to end the year at the Cigar Heritage Festival in Tampa, December 6th, 7th, and 8th. I feel like there are some events that you haven't mentioned yet that probably haven't been confirmed on specific dates. There are, directly, yes. And then 2021 starts with a teepee at the end of January, and we start this all over again.

Just can't wait for 2020 to end. Let's just fucking... It's just... Let's just get it over.

End it now. I mean, let's just call it a mulligan and just... Chuck it. The lost year.

2020. This cigar is falling apart in my mouth. I mean, what a... Yeah, yeah.

Okay, so, well, I gotta... It's a very, very busy fall. I gotta be honest, the only one I'm concerned about is the Weasel Fest, so... Yeah, if I was looking at the list, I was like, hmm, it's really the only one I'm gonna go to.

Yeah, so... I might do the TPE next year with you guys. Ooh. There's enough people here this year.

There's enough people here this year. There's enough people here this year. I'll introduce you to my boy Carl. Carl Malone!

Yeah, we're close. He, a big article about him in the Tobacco Business Magazine, too. Really? Yeah.

Same old pictures done with them from before. Nice guy. Again, didn't read the article, let's look at the photos. He did like a seminar, apparently?

I didn't see the seminar. Yes, he did. I heard he mentioned you. He probably did.

Yes. From his interaction in the gym. Yeah, I get it. I met this fine white boy down in the gym today.

That is not how he sounds. That's not how he sounds at all? No? Not like Uncle Remus at all.

No. I don't think he's a rancher or anything. Crazy. Is that from Texas?

No, no. So weird. Um, I don't even know where I was going. Oh, he was talking about, he talked about, uh, apparently just like, it's sad that this has to happen, that this conversation has to happen with people, but it's so true.

Yeah. And it was just like, be nice to people. Like that was part of his thing. Yeah.

Like, you know, you really should just be nice to people. And it's the easiest way to get people to come back. " Yeah, I mean, that poor guy, I saw him get off the elevator, and he couldn't walk five feet without getting a photo with somebody. And every time, he was very cordial, you know.

He's so tall, does he have to, like, bend over for the photos? Uh, you know, I didn't examine, you know, how it broke down. How was your photo? Did he bend over with you?

I skipped the photo. I felt pretty bad. I was like, you know, I'm not going to hit you up for a photo, dude. In the gym?

You should have taken that one where you're working out, where he's behind you, and you just go... Click. Yeah, you sort of space it so it looks like he's next to you, and it looks like you're really tall because, you know, the depth of field. Yeah, he's really far away.

Right. Yeah, smart. I like where your head's at. You want me to follow you down in the gym next year?

It'd be perfect. It'd be perfect. Why is that guy following you around with that camera for? I don't want to fuck with the guy when they're working out.

Like, that's the most frustrating thing on the planet. I know, 'cause I'm sure it happens to you all once. Can I get a photo? Oh yeah, all the time, everybody wants a photo.

Oh, okay, we're going into phase two, starting today, right? We started phase two here in Florida? This is phase two of phase one, or some shit like that. I thought it was strictly running into phase two.

I think they're all called phase ones. Oh, you know what, we didn't bring that up in the meeting. What's that? Phase two, we can go to 50% capacity.

Oh yeah, I think we're gonna leave the chairs the way they are. Probably, probably a good idea. But anyway, why is your gym not opening? Because, because.

They haven't given no reasons? I think there's a... I mean... Do they give the standard bullshit like for the safety of our members and our employees?

I don't think that's the case. I think that, you know, there's a process for bringing people back. You know, there's certain regulations that they have to consider as far as the new rules state that you can't do group sessions. Okay, so if you can't do group sessions, you know, you're going to close off half that gym anyways.

The capacity is 50%. This is what you're supposed to have, right? So, okay, what does that mean? Because they're a gigantic building with other little things, like they have a, you know, a doctor's office there, they have a physical therapy.

Well, I'm sure they're, it's probably based on your, the fire code thing. But the fire code capacity is based on everybody as a whole. Oh, including the rooms they're not using. Well, well, also including other small businesses that are there, you know, so it's like, you want to make sure that.

Wow, I mean, like, carry the one, subtract the. Yeah, there's a lot too. Subtract the sub guy, and then. And you got to make sure that, you know, I'm sure that there's going to be new responsibilities for specific, you know, for personal trainers, for other employees, and you know, I'm sure like most places, all their employees have to wear masks.

You want to make sure that all that shit's in place. Machines are probably going to be cleaned between, they're not going to leave it up to you. I don't know how it is at your gym, but they don't leave it up to the guy that just got off to wipe his sweat off. Right.

They're probably gonna have to have somebody stand in there. Yeah. So, you know, doing it right, if doing it right means you got to wait two more weeks. Okay.

Well, Well, you'd think, big plays like that, they would have already had this stuff in motion. You could argue that point. At least they should have. I mean, if my business had been closed for the last, what, 60 days, I would want to open as soon as.

Have they still been dinking you for the membership fees? Nope. But let's say that they, you know, let's say that they were, okay, look, we're earmarking June 1st and we're thinking that's when this is going to happen, right? Okay, all right.

Okay, we'll give them that. So, maybe they were building the preparation for that. Getting everything ready to be ready for June 1st. " Guess what?

I mean, I've talked to, you know, some friends of ours and stuff that, I'm not gonna mention any names, that work at hospitals, they say it's low. Yeah. They say that, you know... Yeah, I've heard that, too.

They call it bed capacity is low. Yeah, for one, they're, you know, people that have other illnesses and stuff aren't going in, and for two, you know, they have had cases and they have had deaths, but it's not an overwhelming astronomical. It's not like what we saw on the New York videos or anything like that, you know what I mean? Today on the radio they were talking to a young man who is in Italy who has been on a cruise ship for eight weeks.

Yes, I heard about that. It was quite a nice little interview, very chatty young man, he works in the jewelry department, but him and his roommates all came positive with it from one of their roommates who got sent home early. Right, yeah. You need to have two negatives or some shit.

Yeah, he just got transferred to an Italian hospital ship, finally got off the cruise ship, and now he's stuck there until he gets two negatives. I think we should just apologize to Jason right now about the fact that we've done nothing but talk about it. This is the all-COVID show, Jason. I'm sorry, Mr.

Walpert. We do apologize. But hey, we mentioned his name, so, you know. Yeah.

All right. We're at 25 minutes. We're gonna take a break. I don't have a whole lot left.

So, we'll be right back. We'll be right back. All right. Hey, it's Mike Tu.

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He used the broom for the tile work or whatever, cleaning up the stuff. Yes. And Brittany's like, "Man, something smells really bad. " So I'm spraying the wood with hydrogen peroxide and stuff.

I don't smell anything. Is that what was under the tile you took off? Uh, under one of the fire... yeah, one of the sections.

" So we put the broom away, and we move on, a week or two later passes by, and I'm teaching the kids, the kids' chores are they gotta feed the dogs, right? Okay. But when the kids feed the dogs, they leave the dog food fucking everywhere. It's a goddamn catastrophe, and it drives me nuts.

Right? So I'm like, get the fucking broom. What, like, spill it when they pour it in the bowl type thing? No, yeah, well the dog food's out in the garage, so they take the...

Take the scoop. The scoop. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

And it just kind of goes everywhere. Yeah, yeah. Okay, gotcha. I mean, look, you gotta have, you know, reasonable expectations for a seven-year-old.

Right, exactly. Right? So I'm like, hey, you can't leave this like this. You need to clean it up.

Ants. What? You get ants. Yeah.

Ants, roaches, whatever. Yeah. Rats? Rats love dog food.

Really? Yeah. And then they grow big. That's even more of a reason why we need to address this.

Right. So I'm like, hey, take the broom, and you gotta sweep this up. And it's too big for Jack. So I remove the handle so it's just the broom.

Just the broom head. Right. Put the handle over here. Right.

In the garage. Jack sweeps up the stuff. Whatever. So my son gets a genius idea that the pole can now be a weapon.

Oh, yes. That we can take inside the house and wave around and smack people and stuff with and whatever. Poke you in the ass with a stick. So apparently when he swung the pole, this black thing flew out.

Ugh. Yes. And in a panic, because now he's nervous, he runs and puts a pole away. So now we walk into the room.

Not caring what happened to the black thing. No, no, just leave it alone. We're moving on. I broke this dick.

So we walk into the room, and we're like, what in the fuck is that smell? What did you do? And he's, I don't know. I didn't do anything.

Unbeknownst to us. I would just yell, I shit my pants. Unbeknownst to us, a lizard had crawled into the hole of the room. Died.

And died. And has been rotting in there for several weeks. So once we found said dead carcass. Yes.

We had to remove the carcass. And we had to do a thorough sanitation of the entire fucking room. Oh, no, dude. It was bad.

There were maggots. How big was this lizard? I don't know, man. There was goop.

Like, I had steam cleaned the carpet. I mean, it was pretty intense. Wow. Yeah.

Lost my shit on my son, but it wasn't his fault. I mean, he just needed him to say something to me. You know, I was like, dude. Dad, something flew out of the stick.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what they did. I don't know what they did. I don't know what they did.

So, I mean, to a point where it made everybody gag. I mean, it was a horrible, horrible experience. Wow. Yeah.

Terrible. I didn't videotape that stuff for the show. Oh, wait. Hold on.

Hey, you always need to be thinking of the show, Michael. Always thinking of the show. Well, hey, I'm giving you some content now, you know. Yes, but it's so much better if we could have cut to the video.

I can't, like, what was the lizard thinking? Like, I'm gonna go in this hole? He doesn't know, he's gonna, oh, they're coming, they gotta hide. And then he couldn't get out.

Oh, can't back up. And then he died. Can't back up. And then he died.

Starving to death in there. In the broom. So he's in there for weeks. She's banging on the side going.

Help. Help me, I'm sorry. My son got him out, in the house, never a fucking dull moment, I swear to God, that's the joys of children, I guess so, I guess so, alright Michael, the coronavirus outbreak has hit the instant ramen noodle factory in Virginia, plus seven workers at the ramen noodle factory in Virginia are in quarantine after testing positive for the coronavirus, according to local media reports. the plant in chesterfield about 15 miles south of richmond remains in operation according to they're still open so we're making them freeze-dried noodles gotta make those ramen gotta make those you could buy a case of that shit at costco for like 10 bucks it's ridiculous it is i know it's great following can't be food i don't understand it keeps college kids alive oh yeah that's why i bought the case that's right that's why it's the only time we eat it for my little sister we used to always have some in the house even now because every once in a while you're just like in a pinch Yeah, I'm hungry, I don't want to cook everything.

I'm going to go for a ramen. It doesn't go bad, so, you know. Yeah, because it's not real food. That's right.

And it's got that chemical powder flavoring stuff you put on it, so, you know, it's good to go. Perfect. The facility, which opened in 1989, sits on 54 acres and has about 420 workers as of 2018. Made it the company's largest operation on the East Coast.

It seems like 419 employees too many, if you ask me. It takes a lot of people to make noodles, apparently. Hit the button. No, no, all by hand.

Oh, by hand. All by hand. They're a subsidiary of the Toko Toi. Authentic Italian noodles.

No, no, they're Japanese noodles. I'm sorry. Not even Chinese. Japanese noodles.

Japanese noodles. The CDC says Virginia has had more than 25,000 confirmed COVID-19 infections. It's chaos. Including more than 6,000 over the past week, along with 891.

And all of them work at ramen noodles. But, Michael, I feel the pandemic has come to an end. Yes. It is officially over.

Tell me. Because Publix is adjusting back to normal hours and suspending reserved shopping times. m. m.

beginning Saturday, May 16. So this past weekend, Publix says it's over, it's over. Well, hey, you know, I mean… They keep us alive during the tornadoes, hurricanes, pandemics. That's what I call a proper press release.

Yes. Publix pharmacies are also returning to the regular operating hours. Well, that's fantastic. Do I have to go one way down the same aisle or whatever?

Yes, yes. Thank you for your patience over the past several weeks while we operated under reduced hours, the release said. The chain previously rolled out special shopping hours for seniors, vulnerable guests with the first responders because of the pandemic. With our newly expended hours, we will suspend reserved shopping hours.

We do not understand. Some customers prefer to shop when the stores are less, oh, we do understand, sorry. Publix said, we encourage you, I like how it's not even a person, it's just Publix. Yeah.

Just one big company. Just the guy. We encourage you to shop during the first hours of the day. Mr.

Publix. Mr. Publix. Ronald McPublic.

So if you want to shop when there's nobody there, come early. " When we can better accommodate their need. " That 8 o'clock thing, everybody's been closing at 8. " They get their Publix closed.

So they came home, they both went. They probably shouldn't be driving. They both went to bed, well, they weren't that driving. One of them could drive, I'm sure.

You hold the pedal. I'll steer, you push the pedal. You push the left one, I'll push the right one. No, wait, we're crossing legs.

You push the right one, I'll push the left one. What are you doing, you idiot? I'm gonna shift. Let's put it in R for race, we'll get there faster.

Put it in R for race. You know, I will say this, I don't know if I said this before, but fucking people have been really angry. We should be angry. I feel like this is the time where we really should be introducing cigars to people.

I haven't had any people being angry. I have not encountered that. I watched this old guy fucking rip a new asshole into like three employees. At Home Depot.

Was it at Home Depot? Yeah. You told the story last week. It was insane.

And Brittany had a gas battle. At a gas station? Yeah. So, you know.

Where do you people go? She was at Costco. Evidently, in Deltona, everybody's just really chill and they're just like. Everyone's very happy.

We die. We die. We're in Deltona. The water's going to kill us!

Oh, good. The very expensive water. So like when you do, when you pull up, the way that you get gas at Costco is like you have to drive up and then drive out, right? Yeah, it's all one way, right, right, right, right.

So, you know, she was in the, one person pulled up, and then she pulled up, so there's two pumps. Right. So she's in the back, but it's this fucking suburban. So in order to-- Is the tank on the wrong side?

No, in order to fill the suburban, it's, you know-- You're going to be there for a couple of days. It's 30 gallons, right? Something like that. It's huge.

I don't know the exact amount, but let's just say it's a lot. So the first person and her arrived at the same time. The first person was done because he probably had like a 10 or 15. Did you say you have an excursion?

A big one? Suburban. Oh, Suburban. Is that the same thing as the excursion?

The other companies? Yeah. I have a story here too. Oh, another story.

Oh, a back-to-back story. So she's getting the gas, and the other guy drives away, and this guy behind her gets pissed off, drives around, And fuckin' wedges her in, and then says some shit to her. Oh wow, 'cause she's taking so long? Well, if you weren't on your damn phone, it's like, uh...

It slows down the gas? The fuckin' gas is pumping, asshole. Right. So yeah, she's very, so people are very angry.

And I think, I feel like it's people that don't smoke cigars. Maybe you guys just have attitudes. No, I don't think so, 'cause if I was there, I don't feel like that that would've went down that way. Well, you're a much bigger man than she is.

Very intimidating. Kick your ass, pal! In your fuckin' beetle! I don't know what he was driving.

Well, she should have just ran through it with that car. She probably did. Yeah, well, it's almost time for an upgrade, so maybe the next one's got a ram guard. Oh, put one of those cow things in the front with the little...

Yeah, and it says, "Try me, motherfucker," on it. " All right, Michael, as of June 1st... Oh, wait, you said you had an excursion? Hey, well, my dad used to have the equivalent in the other company.

Yeah, the excursion, yeah. And years ago, when Jake was younger, there was a hurricane or something headed when Jake was in Fort Myers, headed for Fort Myers, back when there was also a gas shortage. Yes, I've heard this story before. Ah, yes, yes.

So we, we decided, like, my parents decided. You know the capacity. Yes, my parents decided our grandson must be saved. Yes.

We must go get him. So Dad and I loaded up in the excursion, drove four hours down, filled it up up here, we found a gas station, filled it up down here, drove down, got him, turned around and drove back, same tank of gas. Half a tank left. Yeah, half a tank when we got home.

Loaded the minigun for the zombie apocalypse, even though it was a hurricane. It was green, too. We used to call it the Hulk. Oh.

That is amazing. Big, big thing. We got rid of the Hulk? Uh, mom couldn't park it.

Hmm. He's got an SUV now, she can't park. She can't handle big cars. They only really need the one car now.

I feel like we don't. He's not allowed to go anywhere by himself anymore. They just need the one car. I just feel like you can't get rid of a car called the Hulk.

You just can't let it go. Oh. Well, it was so big, when you parked it, you had to take up two places. I love it.

You had to pull through. I mean, it was no other choice. It was a huge thing, like five rows of seats in there or something. Like a bus.

Anyway, on June 1st... The Ford bus. The Ford bus. On June 4st, Moreau County officials say the traffic checkpoint at US-1 will be lifted.

You could have named it Publix. Green. I guess so. The Florida Keys are reopening.

Driven by Publix. Well, the lodging establishments will be allowed to reopen. The Florida Keys... I'm just barreling through with the story, Michael.

The owner, the owner of Publix. Publix. Mr. Public.

The Florida Keys are opening back up to visitors and tourists starting June 1st, Monroe County officials announced Sunday evening. Officials say the traffic checkpoints at US-1, which are set up on March. Traffic Publix. Ow, you hit me in the face.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Temporarily banned non-residents will be lifted while the estallisants will be allowed to reopen. Those estallisants, which include hotels, campgrounds, are ordered to set their capacity at 50%. I didn't get any of that story, I don't know what happened.

The Keys are opening on June 1st. Well, that's exciting. There was a checkpoint now. Yeah, they protected their elderly.

Yes. Do we still have the checkpoints keeping people from getting into Florida? I think so. Somebody posted on Facebook today a questionnaire they were required to fill out on the airplane coming from New York City to Florida.

A three-page thing. Do you have coronavirus? No. Perfect!

Come right this way! No, they don't even care. This is a mandatory two-week quarantine. Have you been in contact with anybody with a coronavirus?

Can you spell coronavirus? You can? Okay, come with us. Yeah, you're just going through.

You can't? Okay, come with us. Alright, we have a Listener of the Week. Tell me the Listener of the Week.

I feel this is going to be on the way here. Listener of the Week is Mr. Jeff Moutet. Hey!

Yesterday, Mr. Moutet celebrated 15 years of sobriety. He did. Congratulations, Jeff.

Good job. Whatever you're supposed to say. I don't understand. I mean, I understand.

I mean, that's a major accomplishment. Yes, how much you acknowledge this kind of stuff. But he put it on Facebook, so I feel that it's fair game. I feel like maybe he doesn't get, you know, it deserves to be acknowledged.

Yes, that's why I've been a listener. And it hasn't been acknowledged. I mean, it is a major accomplishment. I didn't know he had a problem at one time.

I just thought he had decided. I mean, he has a problem every day of his life. But that has nothing to do with his sobriety. Right.

Apparently, he checked himself into rehab and everything. Yeah, no, no shit. So I didn't know any of that. He's a great guy, man.

He is, I like Jeff. He's very nice. So, congratulations, Jeff. Riverside Cigars.

Oh, education. You love getting them plugs in. I love taking care of my people. Oh.

All right, well, that's uh... That's all you have? Out of paper. I have another Listener of the Week for you for next week.

Oh. I said, don't ruin it now. We can't. We don't want to rain on Mr.

Moutet's parade and, you know, make him any less listener. But it's also another retailer. So... Why don't you make that Shop of the Week?

Ooh, Shop of the Week. We used to do Shop of the Week. What happened to that? We let that go?

Did you let that go? Well, Boss Cigars got it like five weeks in a row, so he kind of stopped. No, I haven't heard from him lately. Oh, really?

I get messages from him every once in a while. Just checks in and sees how I'm doing and stuff. Tom and TPE and then this whole chaos thing. He decided I'm the Mike he likes.

I can't argue with that. You're a likable Mike. Thank you very much. Everybody wants to be like Mike.

No, everybody wants to be like you. You're such a young, virile big man. Okay, calm down. All right, you got anything else?

No, that's it. Anybody else you want to say hi to? No, I will tell you this though, we were, you know- Oh, we need to plug the event for the shop, but go ahead. Go ahead.

No, no, no, no, go ahead. You know, a long time ago in a faraway place we were talking about building a storyboard and the whole- It's right there. Yeah, and then we had this bullshit. A pandemic.

And we haven't done anything on it. So I think- I put tacks on it. The tacks look great. I think that today we should devote a little bit of time on it and start, let's start building this thing.

It's already 3:30. You've got to tell your wife you're not going to make it. I don't know what's going on. Oh, suddenly you have free time now.

Yeah. Don't you have work to be doing out there because if you came in for the meeting and then went right to this. Probably, but we need to start moving on this. Oh, wow.

We don't have any notecards. We don't? No, I feel we don't have notecards. We might, but I think I use them out because I used to give you notecards for guests and then we stopped having guests, so we stopped having notecards.

We haven't had anybody in the shop. Well, we do it on phone calls now. Oh, yeah, that's kind of fun, so... Want to call somebody before we leave?

Nope. Oh, should we get Mr. Yogurlite back on the show since he got cut off the first part? Mmm, nah.

You're welcome. We fell asleep at the fucking Zoom. We had a Patreon for the Zoom, the Zoom Patreon, and he was very excited, and he didn't show up. Speaking of the Patreon, somebody wanted to know the review you gave of the Death Bucket Cigar on the Patreon.

Well, I said $10. That's the minimum fee. It's available on the Patreon. That's right.

You can still see it for the next three weeks, but it goes away. And it's very entertaining. It is. I had to clear out the ashtray.

They were still here. That's nice. Don't give away our secrets. I know.

Don't talk about it. It's a secret. What do we have lined up for this week's Patreon, Michael? Give a teaser to the people.

What do you have lined up for this week's Patreon? Since now you are in charge of the content for the Patreon, what do you have lined up for? I don't want to divulge that I'm ready. It's just in two days.

Come on, give us a little teaser. I don't want to let you know. Just give us a little something. Come on.

Just give us a topic. I can't tell you. Give us a little topic. Tease the people.

Come on. What do you have in store for us this week, Michael? Come on. Come on.

We're going to review another cigar. Again? Yeah. What cigar is it?

Unstolen Valor. Did you get some? You're hoping by Wednesday. Oh, my God, they're here by Wednesday.

You know, that's kind of bullshit, too, though, 'cause everybody else has got 'em, I mean... It took you forever to get the death buckets, that was already done, too. Yeah, and they were in Orlando. Who's shitlist are you on?

Everybody's. Everybody's. The only shit... Maybe I should be the one trying to get this.

I think the only shitlist I'm not on is gonna be the Roma Craft shitlist. I mean, that's probably the only... I don't know, Danny sent out all those fight packs to all those people, and you didn't get any of those either. That's true, I didn't get any of those.

The Perfecto fight packs? Yeah, 'cause Skip asked about that. Hey, so you getting those Grand Perfectos? Yeah, you guys enjoying those Grand Perfectos?

Did you enjoy those Gran Perfectos? No? No. Well, you didn't like them?

No, didn't get any. Yeah. We have no idea what they taste like. I'm sure they're fantastic.

I'm sure they're good. I'm sure all the other retailers really enjoyed them. They did. It's a credo.

He seemed to love his up there. Yeah. Ronnie. Ronnie.

He did a big... He did a big Kirko sampler this week. Oh, yeah? With a t-shirt.

Ooh. Hey. Gotta love Ronnie. I like Ronnie.

He's funny. You gotta talk to Ronnie, though. You've got to set an hour aside, minimum, to have a conversation. But just do like you do, call them, put them on speaker, and then just walk in and out of the room.

And just remember that you're not going to speak a lot. Right. But he's got some great points. I mean, he really does.

He's actually a very intelligent retailer. I've got to give him that, so. We might leave the camera there. I'm kind of getting used to it.

Oh, look at you, adapting. I'm much closer to the camera, and you're blurry, and I'm in focus. OK, anyway, the end of the month, May 29th. It's like Bigfoot.

I think Bigfoot is blurry. Mitch Hedberg? No, nothing. Sasquatch?

It's your shop, because you don't want me to plug the event, that's fine, I won't. No, go ahead, plug it. Oh, movie night, movie night here at Cigarser. We're going to have a big screen out back, we're going to drop it down from the second floor, we have a projector and very large speakers.

Six-foot movie night. Yes. You have to be six foot away. You buy the sampler, it's $120 worth of cigars for $86, and with that sampler you get two tickets to the movie, and you get the phone on the movie.

And that's the movie. That's amazing. So you don't know what the movie is until that night. We will tally the votes and then the movie will start.

Yep. And then everybody leaves because they don't like the one that wants. It's going to be fantastic. Yes, it's felt very different.

I've been trying to get Greg to do this for years, and he always poo-pooed on it. No, no. And that's terrible idea. And now it's his idea.

Now it's his idea, so it's the greatest thing he ever thought of. Yeah. And we were supposed to stress, because he says it's a very big point, unlimited popcorn. Unlimited.

Just the night of the event, not unlimited all the time. For days. Popcorn for days. For days.

That'd be amazing. I should buy a sampler and just keep asking for popcorn. Just a bummer. More popcorn.

Heard it was unlimited. Heard it's unlimited. You still have some, Palmer. Nope.

It's gone. Dump it on the ground. Dump it in the back of my truck. Oh, I dropped my popcorn.

I'm going to be one of those people that bring the truck and just fill it. I want my truck filled with popcorn, Greg. It's unlimited. Unlimited.

Keep filling her up. Yeah. Alright, we're at 45 minutes. I think we stretched long enough.

It felt good. This podcast felt good. Unless there's any more silliness we need to do. I feel like we covered a lot of silliness.

It's very, very, a lot of Corona stuff, unfortunately. It is. It's sad. But there really wasn't a lot.

It was mostly industry-related. Yeah, and some good news, some good news. Yeah, and it's back, so, you know, we're going to Germany. And I gave the scheduling, so everybody can plan their fall accordingly.

Yeah, now we just have to sit here and wait for the Grand Perfectors to show up, and we're all set. Can't wait. Can't wait. It's just a matter of time.

Maybe we should call it Lightweight Heavy and see what he's got. You know, do you really want to shoot over Danny's head? I mean, like that, I think that's where you were, where feelings get hurt. Then you're dead.

It's like, oh, you're fucked up. You know what I mean? At that point, you will never get anything again. Yeah.

You know, I don't want to be like that. Maybe I should send him some of them poop toys. Hmm. Yeah, maybe I should.

He probably. Pooperoo. Corona all over this microphone now. All right.

All right, guys, we're gonna go. We'll talk to you later. Bye. A Cigar Hustlers podcast, its owners, and its sponsors take no responsibility for the opinions or statements made by the talk show host or their guest.

Statements or show topics are not necessarily the beliefs of Mike & Mike Productions or the podcast providers, and opinions between talk show hosts may differ. It is not our intention to libel, incite, or hurt anyone's feelings. We invite you to write the show's host, Mike Szczepankewicz, with any feedback or suggestions that you have for their shows. These broadcasts are presented and made public as entertainment in the hope that they're going to be the show.

We hope that they will be entertaining to the audience. Perfect. I'm good, Mike and Mike. How are you guys doing?

The Hojo Deeb. Hojo! It's the Hojo! You didn't even let him fuck it up all the way.

I couldn't get past Hojo! I don't even have to try it. He's not even going to try. We're going to cover a lot of ground here, Mike.

All right. Try to keep up. That's a sign of a good podcast. You'd be like four cigars when I walked in a door.

All right, end this. Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike Squared, Mike Squared, Mike Squared.

Show Notes

Episode 122 sorry can't stay away from the corona virus......but its finally canceled and now we have a new Super Hero Ronald Mc Publix!!

All this and even more on this weeks show!

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