Episode 125 Terrance get the Presidential Suite! Care Package for Roma! What do you mean I can't go to the movies??'''
Episode Summary
Episode 125 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast opens with the usual banter between host Mike "Boom Boom" Szczepankiewicz and producer Mike Palmer (Mike 2) — a recap of a Friday night hangout with tequila (Casamigos Añejo), S.T. Dupont lighters, sleepless nights with a four-year-old, and a mostly empty Volcano Bay water park under early reopening rules. Mike also opens a surprise gift box from John Oliva of Oliva Cigar Co., containing Cuesta-Rey Centro Fino Sun Grown, and talks about retooling Arturo Fuente pricing and box discounts online in hopes of rebuilding the shop's Opus X allocation standing.
The meat of the episode is a rundown of how the world's handmade cigar factories reopened after the COVID-19 shutdowns. The hosts walk country by country: Arturo Fuente in the Dominican Republic resuming production May 11 with temperature checks (per Ciro Cascella), Tabacalera La Alianza (E.P. Carrillo) reopening its Santiago facility June 1 at 50% capacity with one-way aisles, General Cigar's two-week closure, Quesada Cigars reopening May 18 at half strength, Tabacalera USA's Flor de Copán factory in Honduras, CLE's added spacing and floor markings, Plasencia's two-week Nicaraguan closure, Oliva never closing at all, and AGANORSA Leaf's shoe-disinfectant protocol as described by Terence Reilly. There's plenty of riffing along the way, including a running bit about Terence Reilly getting the presidential suite to escape Jeff Grover's treadmill stalking.
The second half covers RoMa Craft Tobac's rescheduled Weasel Fest 2020 in detail — 400 tickets split between $250 general admission and $450 VIP, brewer and spirit experiences, Style Switch Barbecue and Valentina's Tex-Mex, and the limited El Catador de los Gran Perfectos sampler (8-count, $120, only 1,500 made, event-only). The guys also cover Florida Governor Ron DeSantis's phase two reopening of bars, movie theaters and gyms, AMC's warning that it may not survive the shutdown, a viral video of an armed man chasing looters out of a cigar shop in Bellevue, Washington, and Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd's blunt warning to looters.
The episode closes with the story behind the care package Mike shipped to RoMa Craft — three boxes of Fuente and Quesada cigars for Skip Martin and Mike Rosales, with "I hate Danny" scrawled across every side of the shipping carton as a running gag aimed at Danny Fiorella. Pedro Albanez is named Listener of the Week.
In This Episode
- 01Opening banter and Volcano BaySleepless nights with a four-year-old, tequila at the Palmer hangout, S.T. Dupont lighters, and a nearly empty Volcano Bay cabana experience under reopening protocols.
- 02Gift from John Oliva and Fuente pricing strategyMike opens a surprise box of Cuesta-Rey Centro Fino Sun Grown from John Oliva and explains plans to get aggressive with Arturo Fuente box discounts to rebuild Opus X standing.
- 03Mean tweets segmentA Jimmy Kimmel-style bit where the hosts read joke 'mean tweets' about themselves, most traced back to Austin, Texas handles.
- 04Florida phase two reopeningGovernor Ron DeSantis reopens bars at half indoor capacity, movie theaters and bowling alleys at 50%, plus gyms and retail at full capacity.
- 05Cigar factories reopen worldwideA factory-by-factory breakdown of reopening dates and new safety protocols at Arturo Fuente, E.P. Carrillo, General Cigar, Quesada, Flor de Copán, CLE, Plasencia, Oliva and AGANORSA Leaf.
- 06RoMa Craft Weasel Fest 2020Ticket tiers, weasel packs, food and drink partners, and the event-only El Catador de los Gran Perfectos 10th anniversary sampler.
- 07AMC's financial trouble and looting storiesAMC's multi-billion dollar quarterly loss, an armed shop owner chasing looters out of a Bellevue cigar store, and Sheriff Grady Judd's warning to looters in Polk County.
- 08The 'I hate Danny' care packageMike explains the boxes of cigars he shipped to RoMa Craft for Skip Martin and Mike Rosales, covered in handwritten jabs at Danny Fiorella.
Brands & Cigars Discussed
Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.
Transcript
Hey, this is Mike 2. Welcome to the number one cigar-related podcast on Podbean. Episode 125. This week, Terrence gets the presidential suite.
Mikey's in a little care package to Aromacraft. And, uh, what do you mean I can't go to the movies now? We're in phase two! All this and more this week on episode one, two, five.
Welcome to episode 125 of a Cigar Hustlers podcast. I'm your producer, Mike too, and this is our lovely host, Mike "Boom Boom" Stavankiewicz. Boom Boom. Boom Boom.
Oh, that's a lot of weights. Boom, boom. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Yeah.
Nice. So, what's up, Michael? Got a whole lot of nada for you right now. Just taking it all in.
I'm a little tired. I'm a little tired. You were tired last week. Am I?
Was I? You don't get enough sleep. You know what's going on? You have a baby.
The baby's fine. Oh. The baby isn't the problem anymore. Is she sleeping through the night now?
It's the four-year-old. Yeah. Uh-oh. What's my little buddy doing?
Oh, God. Okay, first, I will have to make this publicly thank you for having us over, Michael. Oh! I was finally invited to the castle.
We had the Palmers over. Well, your buddy Drew was there as a cushion just in case. Well, it's a standard Friday night. Drew's always there.
Yes. Yes, I did notice he had his own room. He kept going to fold his laundry or something. I was dragging ass that night, man.
I was tired. T. DuPont. I have three, I have three here.
T. DuPont. T. DuPont.
I'll bring in mine next week. Compliments of Lenny Schmigel. T. DuPont.
Aha. T. DuPont. Nah.
It's not the same. Not the same. It doesn't have as much love. Anyway, we had, uh, we made me drink tequila, and, uh, we had a lovely- That was nice.
We had a lovely evening. That was nice. " No, I didn't want it. You're drinking the fucking tequila.
I'm not a big drinker anymore. I start, and I start doing this, I start going around the room looking for your balls. Just because I wouldn't drink the tequila. I can't find your balls.
I can't find your balls. All sorts of peer pressure. I've been, and I had to go to an extra meeting and everything now because I fell off the way. An extra meeting.
Because you forced me to fall off the way. Oh man, come on. Not at your house. I've seen your posts with your Coors Light.
I don't drink Coors Light. Your Bush Light. I don't drink Bush Light. Your Natty Ice.
I don't drink Natty Ice. I don't like beer much anymore, we went to downtown Sanford last night with Chet and his wife, Becky, yes, but I drank liquor all afternoon, and last night I did that thing where I coughed up in the middle of the night and started choking. The acid reflux of death, I call it. It's not quite as scary as it was in the beginning, though.
The acid reflux of death. Yeah, you lay it on your back, it comes up in your sleep, and then it goes down your windpipe, and you wake up, can't breathing. And he goes, what can we do to stop that? I go, I can stop drinking.
That's not gonna happen. Yeah, but the way that's not gonna happen. Be reasonable. I've cut it back as much as I can.
Yeah, it's four days a week. Okay, anyway, this is interesting. You and I already talked about this briefly, but... I mean, I was talking about my kid fucking...
Oh, I'm sorry, the four-year-old, sorry. Yeah, you had to jump right to it, and then you're like, well, let me cut this off. Oh, sorry, I forgot. Sorry, I forgot.
I got so excited about talking to a vintage house. He ran right over to me, jumped up in my arms, hugged my neck and everything, gave me a big hug, pressed his little cheek against my cheek. Yeah, he's very— I said, you know who else is here? I said, Mrs.
Adrian's here. He goes, I don't care. Yep. That's true.
He didn't remember her. That's true. Until later when they talked about the spider. Yeah.
Yeah. But anyway, what's my little buddy doing? He's very affectionate, but he's scary as fuck at 2 o'clock in the morning, 4 o'clock in the morning, and 5 o'clock in the morning. " I mean, it's pretty damn close.
He walks to the edge of the bed and he does like this, where he's tapping on my back. And it's usually like three different times. " Like, I just fucking fell asleep, and then all of a sudden, right on my shoulder, and I'm like, "WAH! What?
What is up, buddy? " Were you asleep? And he's like, the TV's off. I was like, yeah, I just, because I turned it off 45 minutes ago.
You guys were asleep, and I don't like to leave the TV on at night, so I just turned it off, and here you are. So I bring him back into his fucking room. Turn the TV back on. Turn the TV back on.
He won. Now he gets whatever the fuck he wants because, you know, his brother's asleep, So we did like the Mickey Mouse, Mickey Rhoades to Racers, or some shit, you know, something on Disney Plus, something that I know can play for a long period of time, so he'll leave me the fuck alone, so I can just sleep. When I went in there during the evening, and Jax was the only one awake, he was walking like Joe Rogan or something in there, I don't know what he was watching, but it wasn't like a kid's show. Yeah, no, he has figured out the YouTube on the Fire Stick, so now he's watching all that shit.
But, you know, normally I make them watch like National Geographic before they go to bed. Yeah. Like, you're gonna learn something. Wow.
That's probably puts them to sleep. No, no, no, no, no. They come out and they talk to you about the fucking mountain lions and all the other shit for three consecutive hours before they go to bed. But what's funny is, so, let me get back to Justice, my four year old.
So, get him in bed after he just woke me up and, you know, I almost killed him because, you know, I think they're invaders or something. I put him in bed. Go to bed. I go lay down.
Finally close my eyes. Finally go to sleep. Sure as shit. Right on my back.
Second time. Boom, boom, boom, boom. I'm like, ah! Is it turn the channel?
No, no. Oh. Oh, no. TV's off again.
I'm thirsty. That's what it is. Oh. It's I'm fucking thirsty.
Oh. I'm thirsty. What is the usual time span between the TV is off and I'm thirsty? It's about an hour.
" Oh, I have tried that. Oh, does it work? I'm not thirsty. Not thirsty at all.
You want something to drink? Eh. Hmm. Okay.
They still do sippy cups? No. No. Just throw a fucking water bottle in the bed.
No, the fucked up part is he lacks the ability, or no, he has the ability, excuse me, he has the ability to grab his fucking paper cups, put some water up, and then he's good to go. But he's gotta let you know that he's thirsty. And he'd prefer that you took care of this. Can I get a drink?
Would you give me a drink and drink? I'm a little thirsty. It's three in the morning. You're not doing anything.
I'm thirsty. You apparently have some free time because I heard you snore. Right. You're obviously not, you know, yeah.
So, set him up with a drink, get him back in the room, cover the kid, good to go. Did you give him tequila too? I need to start. It's the problem.
Try this an a-hole. Try this as daddy juice. Drink the daddy juice. So, okay, then there's a third time.
Yes. Another hour later? Generally, yes. Is it, I have to go to the bathroom?
No. He can do that himself unless he's pooping. Then he needs somebody to wipe the tissue. He needs you to tell him.
No, no. Yeah, you're right. Then, you know, the next hour. And at this point, I'm immune to it.
I'm like, what do you want? I want to watch something else. Turn the channel. Turn the fucking channel.
I'm like, I don't, and the craziest part about Justice, the four-year-old. Yes. Happiest kid on the planet. Oh, yeah, he's always in a good book.
He's up before me! He is up before me. Is he working out? " That's what Brittany was saying that night.
I'm like, "Are you fucking kidding me, dude? " You've slept maybe an hour and a half. Right. You've taken a couple of cat naps.
You've harassed me the entire evening. Is it really that good? I mean, come on. Let's just call it what it is.
So, no. The fact of the matter is, I'm tired because my kid is ruthless. But I love him to pieces. That is what it is.
Can he read yet? No. Not at all? No interest.
No interest. No interest. No interest. So, Mommy tried to take him yesterday.
Yeah. And he freaked out. Wow. And then she eventually convinced him for round one.
Oh, you can hear that thing. Yeah. With the ice. So, she actually did convince him for round one, and she brought him back into the room.
Oh. But sure as shit, when she was asleep, and then I finally fell asleep, he was back. " So, yeah. We went to Volcano Bay.
Oh, that's right. How are we not talking about that? We were talking about that. I forgot.
Well, because the women talked about it Saturday night. I tried not to listen. Mm-hmm. So how did that go?
Did you have to wear your mask the whole time? No, we didn't wear the mask the whole time. It's not possible at a water park. It would be wet.
It's just called... If you wear your face mask at a water park, it's called waterboarding, and I highly advise against it. Oh, it's right, because you're breathing in the water. Yeah, it's like...
So, yeah. Nobody was there. Oh, really? It was amazing.
And I think that there were four employees for every one person that was there. Wow. Uh huh. We rented, so like we were all, I'm all about just hanging out in the kids section.
Right. For the boys. Right. Makes sense.
So we rented, they have like these canopy things. Cabanas? Yeah, yeah. Amazing.
Oh, yeah. I don't know how I'm gonna go to the Volcano Bay without getting one of these damn things now. Oh, okay, so eventually they'll get busy. Yeah.
And the prices move up with demand. Oh. How much was it with nobody there? $150.
$150? Yeah. And it goes up? Worth every penny.
At $150, it's worth every penny. You know, you start getting $200, $300. I'm like, I don't know. I don't know, $150?
Here's the thing. Do you get your own personal waiter? Yep. Does it come with anything?
Any snacks? Yep. It's getting a little more... It sounds more reasonable, right?
A little more reasonable. You get a case of water in the fridge. Oh, there's a fridge? Yeah.
Oh. You get towels. Oh. And then if you use all your towels, and you need more towels, they'll bring you more towels.
They bring you more towels. Towel boy. Sir. Excuse me, sir.
They bring you a fruit basket. Oh. It's lovely. Oh.
And then they give you a cookie. One cookie? They just had the one. There was five of you.
Well, yeah. Is there a big cookie? Oh, it was a big cookie, but the boys ate the cookie. Wow.
Justice ripped the cookie out of Jax's hand and shoved the last bit in his mouth. It's amazing. It was really funny. Oh.
But yeah. Yeah. And what's really cool is there's like a little kiosk inside of there. Yes.
And you can take your wristband and you can get in line without walking to the place. Oh, from the cabana? Amazing. Oh.
Yeah. Yeah. Honey, what should go on next? The giant water slide.
Hold on, please. Boop. Boop. You are now in line for the water slide, honey.
That's it. It'll let you know. Oh, then it goes, boop, boop. Time for the water slide.
Boop, boop. Time for the water slide, please. Stephen Kivijs is to the water slide, please. Yeah.
So it was good. Wow. Well, 150 don't sound that bad, no. It was in the play care area, the kids had, they had it to themselves.
They had it to themselves. For the most part, yeah. Everybody's afraid children will catch something. Did the water smell and taste extra chlorine-y?
No. No. But they were fucking spraying everything. Oh, were they cleaning everything?
Yeah, like as soon as you got off with your, you know, off the lazy river with your tube, it was sprayed. Oh. Everybody's got buckets, they all got pumps. Wow.
They are not messing around. A little hand, or is it like the pump sprayer for like New York? Yeah, it was one of those. The guy in a hazmat suit.
It was like a hand pump thing, and then he was bleaching everything. Everything was bleached. I don't know if it was bleached or not, but they were thorough. It was just the water, just the water from the thing.
I'm just going to throw some water on it, screw them. When they're not looking, fill up the water from the slide. We're out of sanitizer. Oh, man.
Sanitizer's expensive, the water we already have. Where's the faucet? Where's the faucet? Oh, that's great.
This is good. What is this? I don't know, what is that? Surprised.
I'm surprised. Who is it from? It's a quest to race from, it's from our boy John Oliva. He just, oh, yeah.
Centro Fino Sun World. Is that their new one or something? I don't know! Oh.
But I'm, I'm delighted. Oh, wow. And I'm happy about that. Well, he is a listener of the show, so.
He is! You're right. He listens every week. Hey, thanks, John.
Yeah. Yeah. I wonder what it tastes like. Friendship.
Well, it probably tastes like an order. Hmm. Maybe. Hmm.
It's, yeah, I mean, huh? Because you and him had quite the, uh, quite the little meeting for the... Yeah, yeah, we're gonna, we're gonna revise our pricing online for Fuente, and we're gonna get aggressive with the box discounts and stay within the proper parameters, but still be aggressive. Are we gonna be in Opus again now?
Well, that's what the game plan is. I mean, we've, we've lost our Opus status, our stature, so we're gonna go and, uh, we're gonna play... I'm gonna play, ride around, go fuck myself, I guess, and just fucking do the discounts, and see how that plays out, you know? See if you can create enough volume to be an opus fleet.
That's it, that's what, you know, we'll see, we'll see where that goes, we'll see where the road takes us. Good for you. Just, you know, I'm trying real hard here, Mr. Palmer.
I understand. We, we appreciate the hard work of the king here. To be the shepherd. The shepherd?
You wanna be the shepherd, not the king? Trying to be the shepherd. Now you wanna be the shepherd? You never seen Pulp Fiction?
Yes, I've seen Pulp Fiction. Okay. I just asked you if you would like to be referred to now as the shepherd. No, king is solid, I like kings.
You like kings? Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's good. Your wife does not like being called the queen, though.
Hmm. Sounds old. Sounds old. Princess.
No, that makes her your daughter, that's weird. It's true. She's your daughter. Well, but I mean, it's acceptable in, you know, monarchies and shit.
You can... Oh, it's okay. Yeah, you gotta keep the bloodline going. Well, we will try that on her and see if she accepts princess.
She probably won't accept that either. Princess Brittany. Princess Brittany. Just leave her alone, will ya?
I mean, for fuck's sake. I like your wife. Yeah, me too. All right, well that was a long story, so we're gonna jump right in there, here.
What time have we got? Uh, we're, uh, 15 minutes, halfway through the first segment. Okay. But anyway, uh, I watch a lot of YouTube.
What'd you think of the Casamigos? 'Cause, oh, the- Yeah. I've had it before. Not the Anejo.
I don't know if I have it or not. Well, yeah, we had those little bottles. We did. So, you know.
It's true, with Matt Booth. After the third sip, I could have had another glass, but the first two, you know, like I said, because we do shots at my house of tequila, so. Yeah, you guys like lubed up before you came. No, I didn't.
I didn't have a drink. D. King Palmer did. Oh, she's always drinking something.
I mean, it's summertime. I like that you guys are out and about, like, you know, trying to make new friends. Well. That's the plan.
Yeah. So I like it. Good. I like it.
With Rebecca and Chet. Oh, well, Chet and I hang out anyway and we get along famously here at the shop, so we figured, you know, the next best step for us is if our wives like each other. Unite the Clans. That's right.
Yeah, bring the wives together. Right. So, I mean, they hit it off, they get along. I like it.
They were like the same person. It's a little weird, but, well, very similar. Interesting. Except Becky's not as much a drinker as my wife is.
But then again, nobody's as much a drinker as my wife is. That's true. Were they best friends at the end? Yeah.
Did King Palmer say, "You're my best friend"? No, no, I don't think that was. She held back. I don't think that was.
She wasn't that drunk. No, no, yeah, yeah, no, no, no, she wasn't that drunk. She didn't get drunk drunk last night, just a little drunk. Just a little tipsy.
A little tipsy. Okay. I think she might have called the bartender at that cigar bar her best friend, I'm not sure. Mm.
Mm-hmm. She was hugging all the customers as I left, so, you know. So it sounds like we were there, or at least right there, right out at the cusp. Yeah, it was close.
It was close. It was close. You knew when to call it. Well, enough that I still got in trouble on the way home for something I had done before.
Perfect. So, love it. Yeah, you know. Like, where the hell did that come from?
She's just sitting here, gazing out the window, realizing where you fucked up, pal. It was something I had done once before. Excellent. Okay, anyway, have you seen the segment on Jimmy Kimmel where they do stars read mean tweets?
He has... No. Okay, so their tweets are from Twitter, obviously. There are mean tweets out there about anybody, if you look for it.
Of course. So he'll have somebody famous sit there, and then they read a mean tweet that somebody wrote about them on Twitter. I think I have seen this. " You noticed how big her mouth is?
Yes. And Julie Roberts is reading that. That's pretty funny. Yeah.
Well, they also get an opportunity to comment back to the person. Julie Roberts? Yeah, she'll say this is from PattiSmith227 in Tubelow, Mississippi. And then she replies to the tweet, or she just says?
She'll reply to the tweet, yeah, like, okay, well, I bet you have a big mouth too, or something. Oh. " Huh. So, yeah, it all depends on the star, how they want to get into it or not.
I like that. That's nice. So I went and looked to see if there was mean tweets about our show. Did you really?
Yes, I did. There are mean tweets, Mike. Get out of here! There are.
That's probably next to Grahamin'. I have them here on the cards. I'm gonna hand you the cards one by one. Oh my goodness.
All of them? There's like eight. I got four for each of us. Okay.
Okay. So on the front is the tweet, which you have to read first. You've seen them. I haven't seen them.
Yes, that's why you're gonna read them. Okay. So the tweet is on the front, and then who wrote it is on the back. Okay.
It's a Twitter handle. So you can't look at the back first. Okay. Okay.
All right. Here's the first one. Mikey. Mikey me?
Yeah. Mikey. I assume that's you. Mikey looks like an albino gorilla.
Yes. It's somewhat mean. I mean, you could take it as a compliment if you wanted to, I guess. You know.
Okay. Okay. You have to read who it's from on the back. Read it out loud, Michael.
DV2345? Yeah. And it says where? It says where?
Ah, Austin, Texas. Oh! DV. Hmm.
I wonder what that would be. Hmm. Alright, here's the next one. I heard he died.
At least to me. Mike 2 is a comedy genius. Oh, that's a nice one. Oh, there's a sandbag.
No, it's not. Mike Palmer on the back. Obviously. Read who that went from.
S. Martin 22, Austin, Texas. Oh, I wonder who that would be. Wait a second.
Wait a second, he doesn't have his-- I don't know who it is. First of all, this is bullshit, because his Twitter name is @Chiefhava. Well, that could be a different one, maybe, if that's even him. This is bullshit.
I don't know that. Holy shit. This is a trap. Read the next one.
This is a trap. Mikey eats like an animal at the zoo. You have done all of these. I have not!
Read the back of his drum. DBA5891, Austin, Texas. Oh, same place as the other guy. Oh, here, here's another one.
This is, you're such an idiot. Wait. Oh, no, wait, these are out of order. Hold on.
Here you go, read that one. Mikey looks like he buys his shirts at Baby Gap. Oh, well, that's a little insulting. Who's that one from?
Who's that one from? DV2345. Oh! Again, Austin, Texas.
Wow. Huh. A lot of hatred at Austin, Texas. Apparently, yes.
I wonder what's going on with Austin, Texas not liking you there. Here, let's do these last two. Ah, let's see this. Mike2 never disappoints.
Oh, they're so nice to me, it's odd. Super Busy 3725, Deltona, Florida. Oh! So, this must have clearly been my brother.
I don't know. Super Busy 3275. It could just be a coincidence. 3725.
We have fans in Deltona. Well, apparently I have fans of them. You know what's funny is, when you said that the people actually did evil tweets, I was like, you don't even know how to get on Twitter. It's a really complete whore shit.
I have a Twitter. Okay. All right. Okay, last one.
Last one. We'll skip these other two. Why is Mikey so angry? Oh.
Sup- Who's that one from? Who's that one from? You are such an asshole. Who's that one from?
SuperBusyGF. Oh! Oh, it must be associated with Super Busy. Castleberry, Florida.
Oh, wow. Not Altamont. Do your fact check. What does that one say?
That one says Altamont though. Yeah. Oh. Well, I thought those were fun.
Wow. Yeah. I mean, we have a couple of those here. You want to do the other two?
Sure, what the hell? Let's see. Oh, the shit that you put me through. Oh, no, these are both good about me.
Something happened. Something happened. Let me see. We'll just do this one.
Mike two is short. Oh, that's not nice. But bring it every week for the show. Oh.
Well, it's short and they turned it around to do a nice one. Craft Row 77. Oh. Another one in Austin, Texas?
He smoked Roma. Oh. Well, that's his Instagram. That doesn't mean it's him, Michael.
No, that's his Twitter. Maybe they're trying to hide so that they can say things without anybody knowing who it is. Gotcha. You never know.
I like where your head's at. Never know what that is, Michael. Do you get high and, like, think of these things, or what? Like, where did this all come from?
What? I got that idea from the YouTube I saw, and I went and looked. Uh, I like the DV hatred piece. All right, uh, we got, we're at 20 minutes.
One quick story, and then we'll break. Okay. Governor DeSantis announced Florida bars and movie theaters can reopen under phase two. Orlando, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis says bars, movie theaters, and other entertainment businesses in Florida can reopen as the state continues to ease COVID-19 restrictions.
Open this past Friday, I believe. The governor made the announcement Wednesday afternoon as he outlined Florida's phase two for reopening its economy during a press conference at the NBC Sports Bar and, what, Sports Grill and Brew on the Universal Studios CityWalk. Hey! So he was in CityWalk.
I don't like going on the NBC Sports Grill. Why not? It's too salty. Oh.
Could you ask for less salt? No, it's like-- Well, don't insult them. They might tweet about you next week. It's in the food.
You don't want them tweeting about you either. You've got a lot of people out there not liking it. They're not liking it. At NBC.
At NBC. As tweeted. The bars will be able to operate at half capacity inside and full capacity outside. Patrons may only receive service if seated.
Restaurants may allow bar top seating with social distancing as well. Yep. The governor also announced movie theaters and bowling alleys may reopen at 50% capacity. And he said personal service businesses including tattoo shops and massage parlors may reopen while following health department guidelines.
Additionally, DeSantis says retail stores and gyms can operate at full capacity. Yeah. Is your gym getting very busy? Um, it's getting there.
With social distancing under phase two, Miami-Dade, Broward, and Palm Beach counties still have to stay in phase one. They do like a midday purge to my gym. Where they kick everybody out and clean it? Yeah.
They were doing it consecutive, like every three hours or some shit. Oh. And then they spaced it out as effective today. So that's why I got to change my workout around.
This is like the first day that I was at the gym for two and a half hours. Wow. It's been a while. Oh, you get the whole time.
Yeah. Wow. It's amazing. You can't go much longer, they'll kick you out to clean.
Oh, yeah. You're right. As I was leaving, they're like, okay. All right.
We will be closing zone. Get out. Everybody out. Social distance.
One line. But let me digress back to your story. Which story? The whole bars were opening up.
Oh, well, that's the story we're on now. I got to give credit to Governor DeSantis. I mean, I'm not really, I don't know. I don't know, I'm not, I don't really consider myself intelligent when it comes to politics, I don't read a lot of stuff, but I'm pretty clear about that.
I just do it for the show. But, you know, I mean, the shit was handed to him. Right. And I feel like he's dealt with it pretty well.
I think he has too. Yeah. I mean, I don't see a lot of stuff from the other states, obviously, because we don't live in those other states. I mean, I, but Cuomo is on every day, and I'm like.
Oh, yeah, well, he's Mr. Doom and Gloom up there. I'm like, you're really tan, bro. Zombies in the street up there, and people eating their dogs.
It's a different situation, it's very intense there, you know, this is definitely not a political show, but it's like there's got to be something discouraging as a person if you're on lockdown, like you can't leave your house, and your governor's just so tan. Maybe it's a spray tan. I don't give a fuck. Thinking he should be pale?
Yeah, I want to see, like, DeSantis? Cuomo, so he's Italian, maybe he's just got darker skin. No, no, he has increasingly got tanner and tanner throughout the course of COVID. Well, it's probably his handlers going, you know, you're on TV a lot, you need a little more color.
I can tell you, DeSantis, he's probably put on about 15 to 27 pounds. He has, he has bulked up a little bit. You know what I mean? He's like, ooh.
He definitely put on the COVID-20. So, so, you know what I mean? So, it's like, suffer with me, bro. You know?
Maybe he's just wearing baggier clothes. No, no, you can tell. And he looks tired. Yeah, he's working his ass off.
Yeah, and his sleeves are rolled up, and very often is he just wearing a jacket. I mean, it's hard to say, did he do a perfect job, or, like, who knows? But I can say, like, fucking guys... Well, they say we were one of the last ones to have to shut down, and we were the first, one of the first ones back open.
Yeah, I mean, the unemployment thing is a totally different story, because that's obviously chaos, but... Right. I was impressed. We'll give him, like, a 90.
Yeah, I mean, I was impressed. And he wasn't tan. He looked like he was working. And that's what I need.
I need to be convinced that you're putting in the time. You don't care if you do it or not, just look like you are. Yeah, I mean, but there's a lot of effort there. You're like, yeah, I gotta eat a lot of cheeseburgers, you know, I gotta get less sleep.
I mean, you could tell. Maybe that's makeup. If that's the case... The Disney people are...
If that's the case, then they need to send some to Cuomo and pale him up a little bit. Make him look like he's struggling. Make him look like things are tough. You know?
Have a zombie walk in on the screen and he stabs it in the head or something. Something. Right. We, uh, my wife was watching, uh, uh, we're at 27, real quick, uh, my wife was watching, um, what's it called now, it used to be Regis and Kathleen, now it's what, Kelly and Ryan?
Do you see how bad she looks lately? She's stuck in the Caribbean, bro. Kelly? Yeah.
She's not at her house? No. Oh. Yeah.
What's she doing in the Caribbean? They were down there for a vacation or something. Oh. And she couldn't make it back.
Have you seen her hair? Yeah. She's in the Caribbean. I know, but she looks like a 90-year-old woman now.
Because her hair's turning gray. Her hair has turned gray almost completely. Yeah. Oh, I didn't know it's where she was.
Now we're sharing the same dream. Oh. And our hearts beat as one. No more love.
What are you, Billy Ocean now? Caribbean Queen. Oh. Come on, man.
That's Billy Ocean, isn't it? I have no idea, maybe. Yeah, sounds good. All right, we're at 28.
We're gonna take a break here, and then we still have a lot to go over. She's just bad-mouthing poor Kelly Ripa. She's stuck in the Caribbean. Oh, poor thing.
Stuck in her giant mansion in the Caribbean. But she still doesn't look as tan as Kumo. So whatever. That explains the clothes she had on too.
Because there's nothing to buy. Very Caribbean looking, yes. Very Babalu Ricky type shirts and stuff. I'm sure that she's, you know, I mean, I would have lost my shit at this point if I'm stuck on a beach or something like that.
I'm terrible stuck on a beach. It sounds like fun for the first week. In a giant house with servants. I doubt that.
It sounds like fun for the first week. She could have anything flown in she wants. I doubt that. Gellman will fly in anything she wants.
I don't believe it. The producer. I don't believe it. At least he's not made to wait outside like Ellen's producer is.
He's not allowed in the house. I think that's pretty funny. I don't like her anymore. I think that's pretty funny.
They laid their entire production team off. So she could shoot from home. And now you're angry about that. Yeah, she's not as nice as she thinks she is.
Oh. I don't think. Oh, we gotta go. Bye.
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Alright, and we're back! Welcome to the second half of episode 125. 125. 125!
Alright, cigar factories around the world reopened, Michael, after closing for the pandemic. Yes? Many of the world's handmade cigar factories were forced to shut down during the height of the coronavirus pandemic. Today, most have reopened their doors and cigars are once again flowing into distribution channels.
The factories aren't the same as they were before, however, and many have instituted changes to keep their workers safe as the virus continues to be felt around the globe, having claimed hundreds of thousands of lives. So I have a breakdown of country and factory. Oh! Yes.
That are opening, or there are changes? What are we talking about here, Mike? Both! If they have reopened, how long they were closed, and what changes they have made.
I would like to go back and talk about how much hatred you have towards Ellen right now. I mean, that's crazy. You're just letting that go? No, I don't let that go.
She fired her production team because she didn't need them to shoot from home. And then there was something else she did too. And that upset you. There was something else she did too.
Well, it's not like she doesn't have enough money. I mean, come on. It's true. She's one of the richest women in the world.
Is she? Yes. Because when it happened, my wife and I, we Googled her and looked her up to see, and we're like, because I think they said how much money she was saving by furloughing or laying off, whatever the word is. That's the media, man.
You can't, you don't fucking know. You don't know how much money she has, or is she doing it? - I just don't believe any of it. - She lit them off my wall.
Because I hired an outside company to set up the shot from her house. - It's tough. - She's not that nice. - Okay.
- Okay, all right, Arturo Fuente. - You hate Ellen. - Yes, I hate Ellen. The Dominican Republic, Arturo Fuente, after roughly two months of closures, Arturo Fuente, one of the world's largest makers of handmade cigars, resumed production on May 11th.
Everybody's wearing masks, everybody's far from each other, says Ciro Casela. So, Casela. Which is what I'm smoking right now, I think. Oh.
This is not Fuente, right? Cuesta Rey? I believe so, yes. He's a cheap operating officer of Fuente.
When they come in, we take the temperature. When they go out, we take the temperatures again. Oh, okay. I don't know what accent that was, but okay.
Central America. Okay. P. Cigar Company.
Central America. Central America. Central somewhere. P.
Carrillo. P. Carrillo. P.
Cigar Company. Ernie. The... Crap, I practice this now.
I can't say it. Oh, I love that. On the spot, boom. Yeah, on the spot, boom.
I can't even say it. See, that's the thing, Mike. That's the problem. Tobacalera!
Ha ha ha ha! Oh, I got it. That's the problem, Mike. Tobacalera La Alazion.
You're like the guy that's really great at practice. Yes. But you're not good on the lights. Just not a...
I think you're being rude, Mike. That was not one of the tweets. Apparently, I bring it every week, and I'm a comedy genius. Oh, that's quite, yeah, that was from...
Comedy genius was S. Martin. S. Martin.
S. Martin. And brings it every week, goes from Craft Row. Oh.
Interesting. They know. I assume they know. The Santiago facility where Encore, Inch, and many other cigars are made reopened on June 1st at 50% capacity.
The company has instituted major changes including distancing as people walk in, extensive sanitizing and temperature checks for all workers upon arrival. The company has also made all of its aisles one way, so it's like Publix. Oh, are we putting them in fiberglass like tables? No one walks to each other, face mask or mandatory when entering the building.
Is it like Costco where they put the big shield up? I don't think so. I want a shield at every table. You want a shield at every table?
Yeah. And they just hand the cigars to a little slit? Like a little slit? Yes, yes.
Ah, nice. It'd be perfect. And then they spray them with disinfectant. Nice.
It'd be quaint. Let's see, General Cigar, the largest factory in Santiago, Dominican Republic. The operation was closed for roughly two weeks, from late March to early April. Let's see, Quesada Cigars, that's not what you're smoking, is it?
No. Operational, but working at half the strength as before, following the government instructions, the factory is now working under 50% of capacity until the end of the month, said Enrique Tavares of Quesada, which has a cigar factory in Lice, Dominican Republic. The factory reopened on May 18th. Lovely.
The factory in Honduras, well, it's them again, Tobacolera USA owns a Flor de Copen factory in northern Honduras. The factory was shut on March 15th after the country was declared under quarantine by President Juan Orlando Hernandez. It was able to reopen in limited form on April 20th with a very strict biosafety protocol and also a plan for the gradual cooperation of our personnel, said Joel, the operations manager of the factory. Now the operation is running nearly at full strength.
We're able to incorporate all our personnel, with the exception of personnel who have health problems and are considered high risk. We are running our operation focused on taking care of our staff. Okay, okay. We get it.
See, CLE has increased the space around workers. Maybe they have the… The shields? The shields, maybe they have the shields. We've induced the shields.
And they've painted marks to remind employees about social distancing practices. Hmm. I wonder what that is. Like… Do you think there's… Uno, dos, tres, cuatro.
You know, like, you know, so when the pandemic really hit, Disney's always playing in my house, like, I feel like there are people that do like Nickelodeon and there's people that do Disney. Right, yeah, yeah, I'm sure. I don't know why. Is that the only two options now?
No, there's probably other options, but those are probably the two dominant. Gotcha. So, but like, and I don't know why, but we were on Disney. Like, Disney has been the kind of thing in our house.
Does Universal not have one? No, they do. They're Nickelodeon. Yeah, they are.
Yeah, they're Nickelodeon. I don't know, so they've, when the pandemic really was going nuts, they got this character called Doc McStuffins, and there's a song called "Wash Your Hands", like, "Wash Your Hands", really ramped up that in between commercials and shit. Oh, did they? Oh, yeah, yeah.
I'd like to think that maybe there's a Spanish version of that, that they could play in the factory when they're going. Several of the factories have, like, mandatory hand-washing times. Like, every so many hours, everybody has to wash their hands. That's got to be frustrating.
So that's probably when they play the song. Do you think that they're social distancing when they're in the line to wash the hands? I feel that they maybe go around to the stations with a bucket or something. Oh, a bucket?
Central America. Oh, that sounds lovely. There's no indoor plumbing. Here's a bucket.
There's definitely indoor plumbing. We bring the water from the well, and we wash the hands, and then we spray some stuff on the hands, and then everybody clean again. Boom, boom, back to work. So they're Jamaican?
Yes, they're Jamaican. Okay, okay, I just want to make sure. Let's see, Palencia Cigars, Plasencia, sorry. Plasencia?
Plasencia Cigars in Nicaragua were closed for two weeks at the beginning of April, and the factories were of full capacity, a lot of Plasencia cigars. The health of our people is our main priority, said Nestor Plasencia. The company is one of the largest cigar tobacco growers in the world, and makes cigars in Honduras. The closing was no longer.
Operation Honduras was closed for five weeks since April 20th. They're also operating maximum capacity. They're back to work. Oliva Cigars remained open the entire time.
They are now operating with new policies. We're operating at 100% capacity and have put in strict social distancing guidelines, instituted mask wearing policy, extreme sanitation procedures. What's extreme sanitation procedures? Are any of these interesting?
I mean, you're just rattling off that they're all done. I'm feeling time. Also, everyone's... Temperatures that come to the factory, we haven't closed our factory outside normal holidays.
Okay, Agonorsa Leaf, my friend Terrence. Wait, this is the last one, this is the last one. Oh, this is the one that you're excited about. This is the last one, yes, yes.
They reopened after Easter, said Terrence Riley. Terrence. My friend Terrence. I like Terrence.
I like Terrence, too. He was just here. He's a good guy. He said they've increased the space between the employees and required frequent, thorough hand-washing, as well as shoe disinfectant.
That's some next-level shit. Taking the shoes. That's it. Attaboy, Terrence.
So, do they wear shoes? Everybody have shoes? Yes. Everybody has shoes?
Yes. Okay. Well, some of the factors in China, people don't have shoes. C.
Newman, so we're off with that. That was cold. C. Newman was America, so, I mean, you know, it's regular America stuff, so it's nothing special.
America, fuck you. Yes. C. Newman, because, you know.
Because it's American. Made in America. Okay. So, So, yeah, I mean, the whole cleaning the shoes thing.
Yes. I like it. I like it, Terrence. I like the picture they stepped in disinfectant when I walk in.
It's like a scrub thing. Splash, splash, a little scrubby, maybe like a golf shoe cleaner. Did you see the Facebook post recently where Jeff Groover was stalking Terrence? Oh, that's every day.
While he was jogging on the treadmill. Yes, Terrence didn't even know he was there. I mean... It's getting a little creepy.
That was definitely next level of creepiness. Yes. Poor guy's just trying to be fit. And, okay, they're traveling together, they're in the same car and everything.
Yeah. You think, instead of giving Gruber all of, I mean, did Terrence have like all of the third floor, Gruber had all the second floor? I mean, two guys traveling together, unless you ask, they normally, you know, try to put you together. Right.
" Yeah. I mean, I'm sure. Can you put me on a different floor? Maybe.
I'm sure Terrence got the suite or something. Oh, you think so? Maybe. I don't know.
I don't know. He doesn't strike me. Maybe. Maybe.
Do you have the suite available? I'll take the top floor. Is there a VIP maybe? I'll take the top floor.
Presidential suite? Yeah. Put my driver on the second floor. Yes.
Please, stick my peasant in the parking lot. He can sleep in the car. He's going to videotape me later as I sleep, so if we can make it as difficult as possible for him, I would greatly appreciate that. Alright, moving on.
Unless you want to do Terrence's voice some more? Because that's nothing that he sounds like. I know, but you know what the thing is? Is he Dracula?
You made him sound like Dracula. You know what, normally I do, I could do pretty good impersonations, I'm not going to lie. Oh, we'll do Terrence. I don't want to do the Terrence.
Do Groover. I feel like... No, I can't have evidence of it. It's good.
It lives in the realm of me just busting it out, and usually the people that I do it for start laughing. Oh. Well, I'm gonna make up a list, and if I happen to ever be invited back to the home, I'm gonna request the impersonation. It doesn't work that way.
Why not? It's gotta come natural. Well, I'll bring it up in conversation. Okay.
To your wife, and she'll make you do it. She might. Are we going to call it a day? No.
Oh, man. You have to space out the abuse. Where goes that page? I have a whole page of questions.
All right. This past weekend, Roma Craft are back. What is it? This is old.
No, this is not old. But this weekend, they opened up the ticket sales for the Craft 2020 Weasel Fest. Weasel fest. Weasel fest.
Yes. Let's see. They had a pre-thing for people that already bought tickets, but that was very nice. A pre-thing for the people who bought- Airplane tickets.
That's what I meant. Airplane tickets. So they make sure that they had got tickets. I'm just here to make sure that what you're saying makes sense.
Yes. You're the fact checker now? Yeah. Also, attendees will have the option of purchasing the El Catador de los Gran Perfecto.
Yep. A sampler of each of the company's blends in a 5x50, 8x60 Perfecto size. The eight-count sampler will be priced at $120 per box. Only $1,500 have been made and it will only be sold at the event.
Are you allowed to get those? I think so. You can buy them there. Can we buy them there?
Are we on a list now where we can't get things? No, we can go. Alright, there are 400 total tickets split between two levels. The general admission costs you $250.
Sometimes families fight, Mike. It happens. Yes. General admission is $250.
For your $250, there are 350 of those tickets available. Uh-huh. You get two brewer experiences, two spirit experiences, two barbecue and Tex-Mex meals, and two weasel packs shipped in July and August. Do you have to buy the weasel packs?
Is that the $120 a box, or do you get cigars included in it? I think that you get one, and then you have the opportunity to buy more. To buy a box there, it looks like. Well, it's the same thing.
Well, maybe the weasel pack is an entire box. Maybe it's just five. One of each. Oh, maybe.
Could be. Who knows. But you get two of those. I mean, if there's only someone we could call to verify this information, but...
We're not allowed to call anymore. Yes, we are. I only blocked Danny. Oh, is this where we should talk about the package?
Well, we'll wait till the end. The end. Okay. All right.
VIP is $450. They had limited those to 50 tickets. For the VIP, you get unlimited brewer experiences. It must be beer tickets.
You got to save the best part for the end. Ah, got you. You get unlimited spirit experiences. It must be liquor samplings, I'm guessing.
Unlimited barbecue and Tex-Mex meals. All-you-can-eat barbecue. And two weasel packs shipped in July and August again. And one of the El Cantador de los Gran Perfectos 10th anniversary boxes.
Okay. That's the difference there. So I'm guessing then the weasel pack is just the five. Aha.
The single, you know, the ones that they sent to El Critty. Ronnie Haisha? Ronnie Haisha, yes, up there. Each ticket comes with the option to...
And they gave, and the Hendrick Sabellos? Yes. He won that. Oh!
From our pod, our Zoom thing. Oh! Yeah. Oh, that was his Zoom prize.
Yeah. Ah, that makes more sense, buddy. That's a hell of a Zoom prize. It is a hell of a Zoom prize.
I forgot about that. Ah, so that's why he tagged you with it. Should have tagged the show. So yeah, we were trying to-- So we were trying to-- Oh, that was with the shop.
That had nothing to do with the show. What's that taste like? And then he's like, well, I gave them to him because he won the new-- I'm like, oh. Oh.
Makes sense. Now it all makes sense. Now it all makes sense. Each ticket comes with the option to pre-purchase the 5 Grand Perfecto 10 sampler and the option to purchase more at the event.
The company says the 12-hour event will feature music from Scarface and the Formaldehyde Funk Band. Super Phonics, The Third Root, and Rockstar DJ D-Money. The Third Root? That's what it says.
R-O-O-T. D-Money. Food is from Style Switch Barbecue and Valentine's Tex-Mex. Yeah, they love their Style Switch.
Alcohol will be provided by 512 Brewing Company, Independence Brewing Company, and Garrison Brothers and Dessert Door. Roma Craft Tobacco originally planned on having the event earlier this spring, but because of the virus, they poached back to the fall. Yeah, it wouldn't have worked. No, nobody would have been there.
No. No, I bet some people sort of would. Yeah. But it would have been social distancing, a lot of hand sanitizer, could not cook food.
You wouldn't have been able to keep me under control. I would have fucking hugged everybody. I would have been twirling people. Twirling.
Like ballerinas, like grabbing them and twirling. Oh, that's nice. Oh, wow. Lovely.
It's going to be a special day. Yeah, so I'm glad that they gave people at least an opportunity. To still go. They still go.
To prepare themselves for that. For the twirling. Yeah. And the hugs.
And still feel okay about it. Is Ronnie going to be there? I don't know. You never know with Ronnie.
Never know. Secreto. Secreto. Cigars.
Yes. All right. He may threaten to go. He may threaten to go and then maybe not go.
Our friend Bo will be there. I saw Bo's already got his tickets. Because here's the deal with Ronnie. Yes.
I mean, Ronnie, when we were at IPCPR, PCA, whatever the fuck it is, the last time it was, he's like, Dude, we are going to hang out, we are going to... I don't remember ever seeing him. Yeah. Did he come by?
I must have missed him. Yeah, we are going to hang out, and it's going to be great. And then, like, he just vanished. Very busy man.
" Like, he had this whole long story, and it just sounded like an excuse to me. Uh-oh. Mm-hmm. So, you know...
Excuse me. Ronnie, you're always welcome to hang out with me, but, you know, don't gas me up, motherfucker. I mean, just tell me that we're going to hang out with you. We're going to hang out.
And then we'll hang out. Is this a personal platform to yell at people? I don't think so. I don't think I'm yelling at Ronnie.
I love Ronnie. I feel hurt on Ronnie's behalf. I just want Ronnie to be a better person. Oh, so he's not a good person.
I just want him to show up. So he's a no-show. And non-committal. And non-committal.
You know, when you say you're going to show up, I want to hang out with you. Maybe he was there and you were off talking to Sokka or something. No, no. I got the whole story.
I told you. Oh. I wasn't talking to Sokka. I think you were talking to Sokka.
Maybe. All right, now the movie theaters are open. AMC has announced that they don't think that they can open. I don't know if I'll be able to financially recover from it.
The biggest movie theater chain said on Wednesday that it has substantial doubt it can remain business after closing locations across the globe during the coronavirus pandemic. 4 billion in the first quarter. The company also said that its revenue fell off. That sounds like a lot.
Yes. 5 million. They can't get by on that. And they can't figure that out?
Can't figure that out. 2 billion that they made the same quarter last year. I don't understand it. I guess maybe there's a lot of rent?
I don't know. A lot of power to run them big projectors, I guess? I don't know. This quarter, the situation has gotten substantially worse.
We are generating effectively no revenue, the company said in a regulatory filing Wednesday. AMC will continue to monitor the potential lifting of various government operating restrictions. This was two days before the announcement that the theaters-- But Regal's gonna survive? Evidently, they have less power.
The end of the chain was seriously challenged even if restrictions are lifted. This includes studios holding back new films from being shown even if the government operating restrictions are lifted in certain jurisdictions. Shivers may delay the release of new films. Well, no films are coming out, so I mean there's-- Well, maybe the, you know, the studios should give back to the theaters.
I don't know. They've been making tons of money for eons. 3 million as of April. That's all we've got left.
That's it. That's all we've got. We're not gonna make it. We can't even buy...
Popcorn. No, Altidus with this, or whatever the fuck you sold. We can't buy Altidus, right? We can't buy...
We believe we have the cash resources to reopen our theaters and resume our operations this summer or later, MC said. " Well, the real question is: will people be comfortable going to the movies? Well, I guess they'll probably do every other seat or every two seats, something like that. I mean, and the real question is: if I say to Ronnie, "Hey, let's go to the movies," will he show up?
Probably not. No, no. Very busy. Very busy man.
I'm very excited that you fixed my mic, by the way. Oh yes, you are now mic stand number one, as you should have been originally, so. It's so much better. No falling at all.
I can adjust it if I want. You know what? The show's all about making you happy, Michael. That's all that's important here.
Making you happy. And you've done that, Michael. Yes. And I appreciate you.
Well, thank you. Have I told you that I appreciate you? Not today. Well.
Not today. You said I was fat. I did not say that. And I need a Weight Watchers.
I would never say that to you. I like that your wife called you the LJ. I would never say that. That was funny.
That was funny. Alright, get the fuck out, armed man chasing looters out of his cigar shop. A video posted to Twitter, which I am now on all the time, Michael, Twitter Sunday shows an armed man defending a cigar shop from looters. " News reports and videos posted on social media throughout Sunday showed widespread looting, vandalism, and arson in major cities across the country, while peaceful demonstrations, protesting, and, mm-hmm, took place.
I mean, that's kind of the threat that you're running when you... Nightly curfews have been implanted. When you loot, right? I mean, the whole gun thing.
" in your AR-15s and sit around outside. Angela, you was calling for people with guns to come hang out in her shop because there was supposedly going to be some looting next door to her or something. Interesting. Yes.
I mean, they all just walked out. I watched the video. They're like, okay. I don't need a cigar that bad.
You know what? Maybe we crossed the line here. You know, hey, he didn't shoot anybody. Thank God everybody was okay, you know.
I'm surprised Greg wasn't here just waiting to shoot people. I mean, tensions are high right now, I get it, I understand. Which brings us to our next story. I'm glad that nobody got hurt in that scenario.
Oh wow, we're running, we might run long today. Florida Sheriff urges- We gotta make up for the short ones. Yeah, apparently. Florida Sheriff urges residents to shoot looters or break into their homes.
That's that Polk County guy. That's right. Florida Sheriff recommended homeowners shoot any looters who attempt to break into their homes during a press briefing Monday. I would tell them if you value your life, they probably shouldn't do that in Polk County.
He said Polk County Sheriff, Grady Judd, Grady Judd would talk like that. Was that national news? Yes, it was actually. You know, so...
It's going around and coming back again. I'll let you go ahead and keep going. Okay. And then I'll talk about it.
Alright, according to Fox 13, Tampa Bay, because the people of Polk County like guns, they have guns, I encourage them to own guns, and then they're going to be in their homes tonight with their guns loaded. Yee-haw. If you try to break into their homes to steal, to set fire, I highly recommend that they blow you back out of the house with their guns. So leave the community alone.
The death of George in Minneapolis at the end of the police officer was outrageous, Judge said. Had the police officer done what he did there, he would have been locked up in a county jail by sundown and shot. But Minneapolis is not Polk County, Judge continue, and I want to say unequivocally that the community here is unbelievable, but please understand that if you come here to riot, to loot, to injure people, we're gonna lock you up in a county jail. I can't – okay.
So there's two things here. Yes. First, just focusing on the story in itself. Yes.
I can't imagine too many people saying, you know what? Let's go loot Polk County. There's stores in Polk County lootable. Yeah, but I mean, look.
Lootable? Was that a word? Okay. But I live right outside of Orlando, and nothing was looted.
No, but there were demonstrations. Orlando had some looting, but mild. Yes. Well, they – fuck here.
There's no tear gas at you. Yeah. Too many people over there. Oh, throw them over there.
I heard that they destroyed the container store, like the box store. Wow. You know, I will say this about that, about that news article. Yes.
And that it made national news. I'm happy to have Florida back in national news because normally we dominate as far as like some crazy dumb shit. It's like, oh, man, did that really – like the fucking – the mother that got high on heroin and then got pulled over on our floor for her back pain and the kids – like, you know, normally – We get a lot of that. Yeah, we're usually tied into some kind of chaos and then like, you know – Florida man has sex with alligators.
Yeah, or something like that. And, like, the coronavirus really kind of took over and really took that opportunity away from us. Took away from us, that's right. So, you know, I'm glad that we're back in the news.
It's nice. In Polk County. Right in the middle. Good central spot of Florida.
Yeah. You know? Just everybody that way. Here we are.
Here we are. We're back. Appreciate the fact that everybody else picked it up nationally too. " Right.
You know? And probably some sheriff shooting people. Oh no wait, he told everybody else to shoot people. Wait, this is definitely newsworthy.
This is the news. So hey, I'm glad we're back. Remember the chaos that Florida is? No, no, we don't, we don't, no, don't shoot people, nobody shoot anybody, no, no, but a robber in the process of robbing a hot dog stand in far south, south Chicago, when he discharged his weapon on himself, Chicago Tribune reported, the infamous incident was reported in November of 2000, oh, this is November, what the hell is that, it's old, he thought he's going in for some quick cash, a suspect entered a restaurant with a loaded firearm, looking to score his money and maybe some free food, took place at the hot dog stand in the restaurant there in Massachusetts.
Maxwell Street Express. The guy shot himself in the penis. He just wanted some hot, ooh. He shot himself in a penis with his gun.
Oh my God. Yeah. " And he went to put his gun away. Oop, shot himself in the dick.
He did like a... Yeah. You gotta get a holster. You know what I mean?
I mean, be reasonable. He also faced two counts of robbery for taking items from the two employees of the hot dog stand. The incidents, this included their cell phones and their wallets. He also did manage to steal some of the cash from the business.
He wasn't so bad, he had medical bills and court fees to cover after that. Poor guy. Yes. No hot dog is worth that.
Well, he shot himself in the hot dog. That's what I'm saying. Yes. Seems like karma.
Hmm. Okay, last story. Maybe we'll wrap this up right on time. Um, let's see.
Fort Bragg to open the Army's first on-post strip club. Fort Bragg, North Carolina, after two months of complaints from spouses regarding Concentrating employment opportunities and low morale at the Garrison Town Hall meetings, senior leaders from across the insulation have decided the most all-American thing they can do is to open the Army's first on-base strip club. Huh. The leaders of the Family Readiness Group, Alex McCarter, was the main driver.
Alexis. Oh, it's a woman. Oh, Alexis. It's a stripper name.
The main driver... Is that her stage name? "Our applications keep getting denied by USA Jobs and we're tired of being called the pendants, So we need more opportunity for young spouses to prove our value to this community, MacArthur said. Military spouses have an unemployment rate six times that of the civilian population.
Hopefully this will kill two birds with one stone, said Sergeant Major Ethan Meadows. Hopefully this is our chance to not only provide more employment opportunities, but we can also lower the number of new privates that are getting married to the exotic dancers off-base without being counseled by their leadership first. " It sounds like a complete disaster. Feedback has been very positive from the members of the family right in this group in attendance.
Until your wife is the stripper. "I am ecstatic that the Army has finally given me a chance to shake my money maker and actually make money," said Annalise Broderick. " I wonder if her husband's in charge of the base, what was that by his name? Nope, Caster.
Hmm, that would have been awkward. General's wife's out there shaking her ass. Yeah, I mean... Okay, so how did they come to that?
" Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Right. " Votes for movie theater? Votes for Taco Bell?
Votes for strip club? No, I feel like it wasn't like a list. " Where would you want... What kind of business would you like to see?
And I feel like, you know, these guys are like, well, you know, we're right. Well, if you figure most of the lower level soldiers on the base, they're younger guys, they have younger wives, maybe not so many applicable skills. Hey, you know what? I just wouldn't be okay with it, personally.
I mean, it's just not my thing. Why would you go prude, Mike? You're gonna arm all of these people, and then you're gonna let their wives, can you imagine that? " Right.
You know what I mean? " Yeah. " Hey, I mistakenly put a five up in a hooch, so could I get four singles back? Oh yeah, by the way, I overpaid last night.
Could you talk to your wife for me about that? I... Because everybody in the military is just... I feel that my private lap dance was insufficient.
It was, yeah, the champagne room was inadequate. So, can she come over and finish, maybe after work today? That sounds like a horrible, horrible idea. It does, but they're gonna make money.
Death rates, jump up. If you're a female in service, can you work there in your off hours? Make a little extra money? Probably not.
No? It's probably frowned upon. Private champagne ba-goo-goo, can't go up there and shake her business? I mean, why would you do that?
It's not like you're working yourself through college or anything. I mean, you know, that's already covered with the GM. I'm working my way, working with myself through military academy. Working your way through military.
It's very expensive. You're doing it one squadron at a time? I heard my stepson's Wi-Fi is $50 a month, so, you know, got to pay for that. Oh, so you're going to strip for...
I only need 50 bucks. I only need 50. Mic two to the main stage. Mic two to the main stage.
I'll get up on the main stage now. Mic two. Mic two on the main stage, please. That'd be fantastic.
Right. Mm-hmm. And then they can play the opening to the show as I walk up. All right.
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. I feel like it should be throwback. His name is Mike. He's Mike too.
We'll get Aaron out there. Adam. Adam. Yeah, Aaron.
We'll get Mr. Acri to sing it. This is Scott Hustle's podcast. And then I, boom, jump up on the stage.
I have a big sock, she'd like a microphone. Sounds like, I mean, why didn't they open up a cigar bar or some shit? Not as much money in cigars, Michael. I guess not.
I mean. But nobody's gonna die. We all work here. I'm not making tips.
It's true. The struggle is real. The struggle is real. The struggle is real in the base.
Retail. Oh. And the video went off because we just did another half hour. So, it ended where you went.
Like this. Like that. So, this is the end of the audio here. So, we're done.
That was the last story. Oh, we still have one more story. Oh, we're sorry, we got to turn it back on. We got to turn it back on.
All right. Welcome to part three. Oh, a three-partner. Maybe you should just ...
I'll edit some of that back. Yeah. Yeah. Something.
For ... well, just ... yeah. Okay.
Anyway ... I feel like you're going to make it work. I'll make it work. Because you're an amazing producer.
Season professional. Just an amazing person. Yes. Okay.
We have one final story. And there will be a photo here that shows up of this lovely idea. Yes. So, our friends ...
would you like to tell the story? All right, would you like me to set the stage, and then you can do what you do. Roma Craft had ordered some cigars. They didn't order.
Okay, they requested some cigars. I was bullshitting with my boy Lightweight Heavy. Lightweight Heavy wooded some postagne cigars. And I was talking with Rosales.
Yeah. Great. Oh, Rosales. Well, you know, they can only smoke.
I mean, Roma Craft's a great cigar, but you can only smoke so many, I guess. Okay, we need some postagnes. We'd like something else. Some Guimeros.
I was like, okay, no problem. Okay, I'll hook you up. Not a problem. What do you need?
And, you know, sent him a couple of boxes. So a nice size box. What size was that box? Was it a 12 by 12 by 12?
It was like three boxes. Three boxes of cigars or something like that. It wasn't anything crazy. But I'm just trying to give you an idea of how big the box is.
The box was like a 10 cube. Oh, 10 by 10 by 10. Okay, not a 12. Okay.
Maybe 12. But I think it's a 10. And what did you do to said box, Michael? Well, Danny's not allowed to smoke in those cigars.
So... If I was him, I would smoke all of them. That's fine. He can do whatever he wants.
Or put them down and piss on them? It's stealing if he does it. I'm just saying. It's illegal.
Oh, wow. If he likes to break the law... We'll get the Polk County Sheriff to make a visit to him there. Yeah, exactly.
Looting. It's looting. It's looting. So I took the time and effort to write all over the box.
Mind you, he did do it all himself. All by myself. " But I was, I mean, you know, like I went, I wrote, "I hate Danny" around the entire box. Yes.
" Yes, I did notice you, you must have got a little bored. It's a commitment. It's a commitment. Was your hate getting lower as you were doing it?
Was that the problem? No, my hate was still there. I was just getting fatigued, is what it was. You know, like Conor McGregor, like round three against Floyd.
I was a little fatigued. I was a little fatigued. A little fatigue there. Lucky Charms unworn out.
So it's going to be delivered today. This is going to go up tomorrow. This goes up tomorrow. So I'm really looking forward.
So we'll have something to talk about next week. Oh, on the Patreon. We'll discuss it on the Patreon. We got other stuff to discuss on the Patreon.
Oh, he's bringing it this week. Yeah. Oh, very nice. Yeah.
Teaser? We're going to touch on some touchy subjects. Oh. I will tease.
I will gently tease. Okay, go ahead. Some people are posting on social media, and they're not thinking about what they're saying. Oh, overall.
Oh, I think I know what we're saying. Oh, I gotcha. Yeah, and it's getting... Quite the backlash.
The heat is turning up. Yes. So, we're going to discuss that. Oh, nice.
I think that's going to be a good one. Nice. I'm gonna have to go find the poster. Do you have it?
I don't, I, you know what? I have one of them. I actually do have one of them. I saved it.
Oh, good deal. Good. The one that he's in trouble for. Mmm, it's one of.
Oh, okay. I gotcha. But we, we'll leave it at that. Oh, great.
And we will go from there. All right. So anyways, I'm really looking forward to, to my package arriving. I hope, I hope Danny's there and he gets to see it.
I really hope. Well, I would imagine they called to his attention. It's not that big a place. I mean, I would save it and keep it on his desk, at least, or something, you know?
You should have addressed it to him. No. Because then he'd say that they're his cigars. " "The outside box is yours.
These cigars belong to Mr. " "And John De Oliver. " "And Skip Martin. " And Arlen.
And Fiorella. And Fiorella. And Fiorella. Oh, I should have threw a toy in for Fiorella.
But, you know, here's the deal. Like, I'm not... I'm over it. You know what I mean?
I'm over it. So are you going to unblock him? Uh, eventually, yeah. Oh.
They're doing a live show tonight. Are they? Oh, no. You wouldn't have seen that.
And not if Danny posted it. No. Well, Danny, our friends from Hot Ticket, and the ladies from The Lounge Experience. Not just Danny, the Sultans of Smoke, I don't know how many of them are going to be on it, but they're doing a- All 75 of them.
They're doing a YouTube triple live thing tonight or something, 7 o'clock. Can't wait. I probably won't watch. I might turn it on to see what it is, but man, don't imagine I will be glued to my screen.
Yeah. So, I can't wait until you put the picture up. Yes, I'll have to pull it from the text message, but I still have it, yes. Epic stuff.
Yes, very nice. You know what it is, that I truly am blessed, I'm fortunate to have such a great staff, excuse me, that has the ability to really run this store without me interfering, so I can take the time to express my feelings. All over a box. On a box.
How long did that take you time-wise? Like an hour? Solid hour? Ah, no.
45 minutes? I think it was less than that, it was probably like 5 or 10 minutes. Oh, that's it? I don't know.
If you would have kept up the same commitment for the one side as the others, because you can see the print got larger and there's more spacing as you turn the box. It might have been like a two day job. Oh. I probably would have had to go back to it.
Oh. Very nice. I would have been like, okay, I'm going to revisit this before we ship. Hold it for another day, please, gentlemen.
Hold it for another day. Don't ship this. All right. That's it, unless you got something else.
No. All right, guys. Episode 125. Pedro, one hour, six minutes.
Six minutes. You're welcome, Pedro. Just for you, buddy. Oh, do we have a Listener of the Week?
I don't have a Listener of the Week, do you? I don't either, but let's just make it Pedro. Pedro! Say Pedro's last name because I can't pronounce it.
Albanez. There you go. Pedro Albanez. Albanez.
He's a regular here at the shop. Likes to critique us on the show every week. He wasn't happy with his... He wasn't happy with the shorter episodes.
Well, you know, he's been staying at home. He's been working at home, like the majority of the world. I get it. What happened to your headphone, did you?
I was about to quit. Was there an explosion? I was about to give up, and then I stopped. Alright guys, thank you very much, we appreciate you watching.
You don't have to wash your hands anymore. Alright, bye. And opinions between talk show hosts may differ. It is not our intention to libel, incite, or hurt anyone's feelings.
We invite you to write the show's host, Mike Szczepankewicz, with any feedback or suggestions that you have for their shows. These broadcasts are presented and made public as entertainment in the hope that they will be entertaining to the audience. This has been a Cigar Hustlers Podcast, a Mike and Mike production. m.
for all new episodes. Hi, I'm doing, I'm Husto-E-Raw. Yeah, we just don't have to do a single, uh, single podcast ever again. Perfect.
I'm good, Mike and Mike. How are you guys doing? The Hojo, the... Hojo!
It's the Hojo! Demandre... You didn't even let him fuck it up all the way. I couldn't get past Hojo!
I don't even have to try to enter that. He's not even going to try. We're going to cover a lot of ground here, Mike. Alright.
Try to keep up. That's a sign of a good podcast. It's going to be like four cigars when I walked in a door. Alright, end this.
Show Notes
This week find out what Mikey sent to Roma Craft....Why Terrance needs the big room! and why can't I go to the movies we are in Phase 2 now!!
All this and lots lots more!
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