Episode 133 Carol Bashkin? Exclusive Event Update! Super Soaker 1000!!

Episode Summary

Episode 133 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast is an industry-news and shop-drama episode. The bulk of the first half is Mike Szczepankiewicz's full account of the social-media blowup over a triple-wrapped barber pole cigar (with a Candela leaf) that Cigar Hustler brought in for its house blend section at the request of regular customers. After a photo was posted to Facebook, James Brown and Angela Brown of Black Works Studio publicly accused the shop and the maker of copying their 2019 Tiger Lily barber pole. The hosts explain that the cigars were produced by Zee at Cordoba & Morales, who had never heard of the Tiger Lily, argue the complaint should have come as a private message rather than a public callout, and note the whole affair only drove more attention to the cigar. In response, the shop named the blend "Carole Baskin" and put it up for sale on CigarHustler.com. The hosts repeatedly extend an open invitation for James and Angela to come on the show and give their side.

In This Episode

1. 01
   Show housekeeping and Patreon milestone
   Week 57 at #1 on Podbean, the upcoming 52nd Patreon episode, new lighting and a second camera (a GoPro Hero 8), plus a Game of Thrones tangent and a Hand of the King pin gift.
2. 02
   The barber pole controversy: "Carole Baskin"
   A full accounting of the Black Works Studio / Tiger Lily accusation over the shop's new triple-wrap Candela barber pole house cigar, and why the hosts think it was handled badly.
3. 03
   Cordoba & Morales and house blend sourcing
   Why Zee's factory had no knowledge of the Tiger Lily, and how the hosts view similar-looking products across the cigar industry.
4. 04
   Lost & Found GAF and the fate of Chogüi
   Robert Caldwell's Lost & Found releases a charitable "Give a F***" cigar built from the remaining Chogüi inventory, and Mike explains why he isn't bitter about losing the brand.
5. 05
   Weasel Fest 2020 canceled
   RoMa Craft Tobac's Austin event is postponed again due to Travis County gathering limits, with plans to move the lineup to Memorial Day weekend next year.
6. 06
   Man fires shots at Cigars International employee
   A recap of the Bethlehem, PA incident in which a maskless customer took two cigars and fired three rounds at a clerk chasing him for a license plate.
7. 07
   TAA Exclusive Series and La Aurora
   With the TAA meeting in Cabo canceled, the hosts discuss La Aurora's first-ever TAA Exclusivo and how it sold to member retailers.
8. 08
   Florida Man Radio fiasco and Jack Toraño call-in
   The hosts got charged to appear on a local radio show and walked out, then phone Jack Toraño live, who confirms La Zona Palooza 2020 is canceled with an alternative Espinosa event coming.
9. 09
   Florida news roundup
   Mystery seed packets from China, a South Florida gym owner arrested over mask enforcement, NFL preseason cancellation and Buccaneers season tickets, and the "Super Soaker 1000" Miami strip club story.

Brands & Cigars Discussed

Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.

Transcript

Welcome to episode 133 of the Cigar Hustler Podcast. This week, the Karole Bashkin, we have an exclusive event update in Get Ready Miami, the Super Soaker 1000. I'll listen more on the number one rated cigar podcast on Podbean, Cigar Hustlers Podcast. Welcome to episode 133, Mike Garland, Mike Mike, Mike Square, the Cigar Hustler Podcast.

The number one cigar show on Podbean. Number one. Still. Still.

Week 57. Going strong. Week 57. Oh, on Podbean.

On Podbean. Number one. Where actually our three years is up in January, I checked. Three.

Glorious years. We are in our third year now. It'll be the end of the third year in January. But in two weeks, we will do episode 52 of the Patreon.

I feel we should do something special. That will be one year of Patreon shows. Something special. Something special for the patrons of the Patreon.

We could do something for the patrons of the Patreon. Maybe move them to a different place. We did the Weaselfest access to them. Yes, they got exclusive Weaselfest access.

Before everybody else. How many did you? Do you want to say how many you want? We sold some.

We sold some. Good. I'm glad they took advantage. Congratulations, gentlemen.

Yeah. Glad you could take advantage of that. There are certain perks. Membership has its privileges.

And today, we're going to review... Oh, we finally got 'em! The frog juice. The frog juice.

Everybody has smoked 'em, and you can't buy 'em anywhere. We got 'em. Stop being so pessimistic. I'm very excited to finally get to smoke this cigar.

I know. I'm very excited, too. I'm surprised the pack did not get open, 'cause they've been here almost a week now. I've been here almost a week now.

You told me not to open them. You yelled them. I have a present for you. A present.

I do. Right now? Yeah. You want me to do it right now?

Sure, why not? Well, since you're on this whole Game of Thrones kick, you've made this statement a couple times. Do I have a hand of the king pin? You have a hand of the king pin.

Oh, where did you get this? I ordered it for you. I will put it on my hand of the king. Since you have referred to yourself as the hand of the king.

I'm gonna put it on Mike Tussler's shirt. I was like, oh, I need to get him one of those. Very nice. I'm into season three now.

Moving right along. Moving right along. Crinkling like crazy. He just lost his hand, and they fought the bear, and they've climbed the wall.

There's a lot going on. It's very busy, very busy. It's about to get, how many seasons are there? Eight.

The Red Wedding's about to happen. I would just stop at like six. Then it gets back. I'm gonna watch it all with her.

I would just end it to the Battle of the Bastards. That's when I'd call it quits. Nope, I'm gonna watch it all the way through. So I get it all together.

" - Very exciting. - Right. - I'm excited for you, Mike. - Like when the Mother of the Dragons goes into the big spiral building where they've captured her dragons?

- Yeah. - You know what I'm talking about? - No. She goes to that one city that is the most glorious city in the world.

And then there's the guy whose lips are blue. Yeah. Okay. There's a part where she's in a room with all doors and she has to pick the right door.

She walks into one door and it's the set from the final shot where she actually gets killed. It's the destroyed castle throne room. Interesting. Where John kills her.

Yeah. I mean, nobody even mentioned that. But I was like, oh, I've seen that. That's where John kills her later.

That's where she dies. She does at the end, yes. Very sad. Poor girl.

She never, she never, she never, she never, she never wears clothes in that show. I will never commit to a TV series, TV show, of that magnitude ever again. Oh, we, we finally, we finished Scandal a couple weeks ago, we were so disappointed last time. That's what I'm saying, you know, like.

It was such a downer. We're like, that's it, you know, and I'm scrolling back looking and. When it starts to taper off for me. You can tell.

I'm gonna give up. I'm not gonna do it again. Like, Ray Donovan was an amazing show. And then like, I watched last season, or two seasons ago.

Yeah. " I started to watch the next season, I'm like, "Nope, I'm done. " You can tell when the writers run out of stuff to do. Now he's just like this broken man.

You know what I mean? Like, it's not fun anymore. You know? Before he was like this, he was a broken man before, but he was a badass.

And now he's just, I can't. Is that HBO also? I think it's Showtime. Oh, hmm.

I don't have that one. Yeah. Oh, wow. Sorry.

That's okay. I didn't have HBO until a couple weeks ago, so who knows what happens? Who knows where the road may take us? Pandemic America, they always offer specials.

Could be anything. Could be anything. So we have a couple things to talk about, things that have happened since we were last on the air. First, let me explain my attire.

I'm going on vacation immediately after the show, so I already have my vacation clothes on. Oh. " Let's give him something to talk about. Vacation clothes.

A little vacation. Because I'm out of here. That's it. So the Patreon's actually probably gonna go up early.

It's the only one I can't schedule to upload. Oh. Alright, whatever. The other two I can schedule, and they'll go up on the regular days.

Okay. But the Patreon's probably gonna go up tonight or way early tomorrow morning. Okay. Okay, we had a little drama here around the show.

Shall we address that first? I have it on the list, yes, before we get into the... Yes, yes we did. Yes, we did.

Okay. So there's like a rule here at the shop. Oh, I'm looking at the, I'm looking at the light like it's the camera. We have a new light.

We're trying something different again. So if you guys have noticed, we are not yellow now. We are not blue. We're normal.

We might be white. I'm not quite sure how it looks. But we're willing to take the gamble. Looking at the light instead of the camera.

We just continued to make this show better for you. Yes. And we have a second camera. Why is it flashing red?

It's because it's recording. Ah, gotcha. Testing it out. I don't even know which one to look at now.

Don't look at the other one. Don't look at the light, don't look at the flashing red light, look at the other camera. I mean, I'm curious to see how the audio is and all that stuff, just the kind of way it is. Oh, the audio, yeah.

Because we feed the board into the other camera. Right, so I got a GoPro for my birthday, Hero 8, I'm very excited about it, and just kind of taking it for a spin, you know? You got to start making content. Yeah, you got to see how it works.

Yeah. So where are we at? Oh, when you're working, you have to social media post here at the shop. You're ahead of yourself.

Can I set the platform? I was explaining the way I actually did the photo. Okay, but before you get there, we have to, you got to explain the whole. Okay, please.

And then you can take over. Okay. Okay. Please, go ahead.

I just want to make sure that our listeners and YouTube watchers get the full story. So, we have a meeting every week. We discuss product and, you know, things that we can be doing better at the store and we, you know, everything that we can possibly do to achieve. Ooh, I sound better now.

Thank you. Thank you. Everything we can possibly do to make the store better, right? Yeah.

And a topic of discussion came up that we needed barber poles for our- Oh, wow, you're going way back. Yeah, for our house blend section. Correct. Right?

Because we have regular customers that will never buy abandoned cigar. Right. They just won't. So, but they requested barber poles.

So I said, okay, well, hey, we'll, you know, Greg will put in the phone call and we'll get some barber pole cigars. So the barber pole cigars come in, we price them out, and, you know, that was the end of it for me. The employees got it, they, you know, the problem's been solved, customers will be happy that we had it, and that's where you kind of come into play, if you want to try. Okay, so then we got one that was particularly unusual or an attractive looking cigar.

Right. It had a triple wrap barber pole or something. Yeah, it's beautiful. But it's beautiful.

With a Candela. Looks nice. Yeah, it's very, very, very pretty. Very beautiful cigar.

So, for my social media posts last Tuesday... Everybody does social media posts for Cigar Hustler. Yes. When you see Cigar Hustler, you don't know who it is that is posted that.

Right. Because we all do it. So, anyway, I took a bundle of the cigars and a pile of the cigars and put them out on the bar and positioned everything just right, stacked nice, and just took a little photo that we have them now. Yes.

Right. Yes, you did. So... You do a great job with your pictures.

Thank you. Better than me in my fucking decrepit, broken fingernail and shit. I'm smoking a cigar. Right.

So, I posted on a thing on our Facebook page. You did. And almost immediately, we received... We opened the floodgates.

We received a message from, what's his name? James Brown? James Brown. I can't remember his name.

You got a message from him? No, well, he commented, I guess, on the photo. Yeah. No, actually what?

Somebody else saw it first. I think somebody told him. Somebody had to bring it to his attention. Right.

Somebody brought it to his attention that apparently they had one in 2019 called the Tiger Lily. The Tiger Lily. Which looked, I would say, pretty close to exactly the same, if not the identical cigar. Yeah.

Now, we did not know this. The barber pole, per se. We did not know this. The company that makes them for us did not know this.

Well, here's, so, okay, but here's the deal. Let me see. Okay, hold on, I need to find, because I saved that, I took a screenshot of the angry post, I'm trying to find it, probably shouldn't have took it. The angry post from him, or the angry post from his wife, because they both, she was a little more vocal anyway.

So first of all, let me start by saying, James and Angela are very nice people, never, you know, I've never had an issue with them, they're cool, right? I've never met them. I know you've never met them, but I have met them in the past and I've had no issues with them, they're good people. We carry Black Label cigars here at the shop.

We do. Not that one particularly, because as I understand it's not available any longer. Right. Well, so hold on before you keep going.

" Angela said, Mike Szczepankiewicz, "There are plenty of ways to be unique in the cigar business. " So I didn't understand why I was being chastised. " So, I know that this may sound crazy, but for one, and I've had issues with Zee in the past with certain things, but we've always come to, you know, we've worked things out, right? Zee's a great guy, Cordoba & Morales Cigars, you know, he's a fucking down to earth person.

Yes, very nice man. And he's like a legit Cuban, he's from Cuba, he's been, you know, cigars has been his entire life. He's been on the show numerous times. Yeah, so.

He came over as a child, on one of the boats. " And I said, OK, well, they called them an asshole, and they instantly jumped to an assumption that he was knocking off their cigar, and I don't think that that's appropriate, I don't think that that's OK. No, I mean, he didn't call it the Tiger Lily, there was no claims that it was a Tiger Lily knockoff. Right.

So to make matters worse, this wasn't something that was going to be online. No, it was a house cigar online, but because everybody got pissed off and, you know, brought more attention to it, I had no choice but to offer it to everybody. Right. So, he could have gone about, James could have gone about this a totally different way, first of all.

He could have reached out to me privately. I didn't know. I have no idea what the fuck Tiger Lily is. I've never seen Tiger Lily.

Yeah, no. I don't. It's never been offered to me for sale, and apparently you can't even buy it in store. You have to go and buy it in the factory.

So like, I don't understand how that's a major conflict if a retailer sells something that looks similar, for one. For two, you know, at the end of the day, I know this is going to sound kind of tacky, But we're all kind of copying the original person who rolled cigars, right? " Bunch up something on the inside. I can smoke them and, you know, it tastes good and I get to chill out.

So, I guess if we all, if you wanted to go after, if he, that guy from back in whenever, fucking 1500 or whatever. Whatever it was. He should be really the guy that's upset that's being replicated on and on and on. Now, James, instead of calling my friend an asshole and kind of coming after this shop, all he had to do is private message me.

Right. Like, it would have been dead at that, "Hey man, dude," you know, and we have a relationship. It's not like, "I don't know who he is, he doesn't know who I am," you know? Right.

And that cigar is really, really close to a cigar that we make in the factory. You know, I don't know what to do. I don't know how you want to handle this, but I'd appreciate it if you took it down or something like that. We could have taken the photo down.

I would have been like, absolutely, no problem. Remove the image. It would have been sold in store. Nobody would have fucking known about it.

No, there would have been no advertising about it whatsoever. It would have been over. It would have been in the little slot on the wall. But instead, they lost control.

They said some, you know, some mean things about a guy that you have no idea who he is, what he's doing, you instantly assume his intention is to replicate your brand, which it wasn't. I mean, he doesn't even know who the fuck you are. Yeah, right. I didn't even know what the fuck Tiger Lily was!

Like, I don't need to Google it to even see what it was. So, you know. And apparently the name isn't even something that they originated with. Right.

There's an older cigar called a Tiger Lily. I don't know what it looked like. All you can find is the boxes online. So, so you have all that.

And there was never any ill intention. No. Now, let's say, hypothetically, there was ill intention, right? Okay.

" Right. Right? Why, what's the, why the fucking upheaval? I just don't, like, I don't get it.

I mean, if you go to fucking, if you want to go buy SpaghettiOs. Right. There's fucking all types of SpaghettiOs. All types of SpaghettiOs.

Right. I mean, I could tell you that Costco has their own fucking Tide. It's called laundry detergent in an orange fucking container. I don't see the Tide upheaval of people.

Right. Tide's not getting all set. They're not going fucking apeshit. Right.

Because at the end of the day, they're going to be totally different products. Even if they're similar, they're still fucking different. Like, night and day. Like, not even fucking, you know what I'm saying?

I agree. Like, I don't understand, like, why lose emotional control and kind of going about it that way? I think it was completely wrong. And I think that they were out of line.

And I welcome James and Angela to come on the show. They can call in any time and they can say their piece. I don't want you to think that this is just a one-way street. No, we do this every Monday afternoon.

You can feel free to chastise me and call me all types of horrible things. I'm okay with that. You know, Mike does that to me every week. I don't call you names.

Sometimes, especially when you text me, or in the group text, you say hurtful things, but that's okay, I'm okay with it, I'm just telling you, I'm okay with it. You're thick skinned, you can handle it. Yeah, it's, you know, so, you know, I want you to feel comfortable with that, James and Angela, you're welcome to come on the show at any time, and you can defend your side. You don't hurt my feelings, not at all.

So, yeah. You would say you have named it here at the shop, the cigar. Well, yeah, because it was so, because they went about it the wrong way, of course I'm going to change, I'm going to give it a good name. So I called it Carol Bashkins.

And we actually got in, is it three or four barber poles he brought in? Yeah, he did. Yeah, he did. He did, but that one was the prettiest one.

That one was the prettiest one. Right. So you took a picture of it. I took a picture of it.

And you opened up the floodgates. I mean, the fucking messages that I got from people, the text messages, the Facebook messages, like all, yeah. Were they all disparaging comments? None of them were very, none of them were aggressive towards me.

None of them were like, you're out of line, that's fucked up, or anything like that. You know, not to that magnitude whatsoever. And then, of course, Jack Taranio's got a call and harassed me. Oh, what did Jack say?

" And of course, Danny Vasquez, he texts me, he harassed me. " is exactly what he said. Oh my god, Danny. How many do you want, Danny?

Like, fucking, some of these guys are just cold-blooded. I mean, goddamn. I mean, we could have called it the BL. The BL.

But, you know, like, again. The Tiger Rose. I'm just gonna chalk it up, at this moment, at least, I'm gonna chalk it up to, you know, maybe they were having a bad day. Maybe.

Maybe, you know, maybe shit was going south, and whatever the case may be, I don't know. And they were upset. I don't wish ill will on them at all. No, no, no.

I wanna see their brand succeed, you know. They make good cigars. They make good cigars. They are, and they're good people.

So, you know, there's no ill will on this side. Does, um, what's his name, what's the, the, the, I'm sorry, I'm terrible with names. The gentleman, does he still work for them who used to work for Aroma Craft? Koi?

Koi. Yeah. He tried to instigate me a little bit because, obviously, the Shogui stuff is no longer Shogui. I have that to talk about later.

Okay. So he tried to, he tried to get me going. I'm like, I'm not, like, you're not gonna piss me off about this. Right.

I'm not mad. It's not my brand. No. I can't get upset about things I can't control.

Exactly. So, we move on. So, there it is. So, now it is out in the open.

It's out in the open. com. I have expressed it. We have to order them.

And it's not going to taste anything like Tiger Lily. I don't even know what Tiger Lily tastes like. I've never seen it before. I tried to buy some because I was curious.

You can't. You can't. So, some of the people have messaged me. Okay, so how do I get that cigar?

Right. I'd love to smoke it on the show. You can't get that cigar. We don't matter.

You gotta go get it from the factory. I'm like, oh. Who makes their cigars? They make their cigars.

They make their cigars. It's a beautiful factory. It is. Well, it's a beautiful cigar.

It's right off the highway. In Esteli? Yeah. And we get Skip to run over there.

I don't know when Skip's gonna be back. He's not back. Maybe we get Esteban. With all the shit that's going on, I mean, you know, and that could have been part of it, too.

You know, maybe they're having shipment issues or maybe they're having their own struggles because of the coronavirus and they were just having an off day. Like, it's possible, you know, and I'm not I'm not going to fucking pass judgment on them for just kind of losing their shit. No, well, I lose my shit every once in a while, too. Since you already mentioned it, let's move on to that brief little.

Yeah, let's cover that, too. A little story here. I just got to find it real quick. Lost & Found announces initiative-based relief of the GAF, Give a Fuck it's called.

Lost & Found, a brand owned by Robert Caldwell, Tony Bellato, and Jacqueline Sears, has a new charitable release coming out. The Give a Fuck GAF is a Lost & Found, latest initiative joining other summer releases. We'll be rolling out the initiative by donating a generous portion of the above-referenced brands to help fund 501c to the charitable organization whose purpose is to improve education and destitute children in the inner city, the company revealed in a press release. Now, from what we understand, that is the lost Choguis.

Well, yeah, they made the logo very similar to it. They made a couple alterations and stuff like that. Right, couple alterations, and they, I mean, his was "Fuck the Bird" or whatever. " So that's in the name, but...

Well, the fucking bird went away. Right, yeah, the bird went away. The fucking bird's been MIA for a couple years. The amount they said they bought was the exact amount we knew was at the factory.

And we tried to buy those and couldn't. We did. We did try and buy them. And they tried to charge me fucking retail for the cigar.

I'm like, how am I gonna... that doesn't even make sense. So obviously... It's lost and found as a brand, that's what they do, they find cigars that have been lost.

Right, so obviously Robert Caldwell, you know, is a little bit closer and has the ability to negotiate that, and he did. Got a better deal, so good for him. So those are out, and I'm trying to get one or two of those. Oh, we can just, you can call Ronnie.

Ronnie's got him. Oh, Ronnie's got him. That's a creature. Yeah.

I forgot about that. Executive has them in Melbourne. I was hoping they were going to pick them up over in Sanford and I would just run over there. I mean, we could probably just get them if you want.

Yeah. I could just reach out to Groover. Oh, you want to buy some? I don't know.

You want to buy them? I don't care. Like, honestly, it's not. So, you know, look, this isn't my brand, okay?

It was part of my portfolio. I represented him. Victor is a sweet guy. You know, we had a good friendship.

We still do to some degree because he's kind of absent-minded and distant. And, uh, he fell off the face of the earth when it came to cigars. We sold all his cigars, and then he's just, and people have asked me, yo, what's going on with this? And I'm like, I honestly can't, I have no idea.

So, you know, the factory's been sitting on them for a while. For a while, they must be nice and aged. And that sucks. It was one of my favorite cigars, too.

So the factory's sitting on it, right? They gotta unload it. They have money sitting there. Right.

I don't blame them at all at this point. Well, at this point, I mean, he's walked away from them. " But do you have those, Koi? Koi, send us some.

Like, should I be, I mean, like, why would I be upset about that? I mean, for one, I wish Robert Caldwell the best. Right, yeah, he's been on the show, a very nice man. And it's a good cigar, so he should be able to sell them all and fucking, and he's doing a fucking good thing with them.

Right, giving money to charities. So I'm supposed to be upset? Like, no, not even close, not even remotely close. You know, of course I wish I could have kept carrying them.

Of course I could have wished that they were still in my portfolio. But, you know, the owner of the company went a different direction. I can't control that. Well, there you go.

All right. This is good. This is, you know. Can you get all this out?

Glad I have a platform where I can fully explain myself. That's good. All right. We're at almost 25 minutes.

We'll go ahead and take a break so then we can get into the rest of the show. It was a solid 25 minutes. It went fast. The show goes fast.

We might have to stretch this like hour and a half from now on. No, no. Get out of here. I don't know what to do.

Alright, we'll be right back. Hey, it's Mike Toon with my Cigar Hustlers Podcast. Looking for high quality swag from the show? com/theCigarHustlerPodcast.

We have everything from t-shirts and hats to phone cases and beach styles. com/theCigarHustlersPodcast. Get your show swag and become a true hustler. Welcome back, episode 133.

Wow, that's so many. One, three, three. All right, Roma Craft Tobacca is announced at Weasel Fest. It's a minimum 133 hours of my life that I have sacrificed to this guy.

Longer. Some of the episodes are longer. They are. That's why I said a minimum.

Oh, gotcha. That's uh... That's probably about the equivalent, eh, that's probably less than the amount of time my son has spent on Call of Duty though, I can't say that much. He's probably like eight days deep at this point.

Last week we were adamant that we were going to Weasel Fest, we were Weasel Fest, Weasel Fest, everything Weasel Fest, and now, no. It will not take place this September, the following is a communication sent out to the ticket holders. After almost a year of planning, negotiating, promoting, and preparing to bring you a cigar event like you've never seen before, We're extremely disappointed to deliver the news that Weasel Fest 2020 has once again been delayed. While we have hoped that this would not happen again, we knew that there was always a chance that it would.

Due to a recent surge of coronavirus cases in the region, the city of Austin and Travis County has issued a standing order that prohibits all events and community gatherings of more than 10 people outside of a non-religious facility. Oh, we got out of the church? Goddammit, Skip. The Church of Martin.

Yeah. All hail the Church of Roma. There you go. You can get ordained online anymore.

People do that to get married. This is a church event. It's a church event. Oh, happy day.

The order expires on August 15th. It is expected to announce at the time all events and community gatherings of more than 100 people will be prohibited. As of the date of this announcement, the City of Austin has not issued and is not expected to issue permits for the September 5th event due to these orders. Moving forward, we are exploring options with our event planning partner to reschedule Weasel Fest.

An event of this scale involves a surprising number of contracts and agreements, so we will be spending the next few weeks working with the dozens of talented musicians, distillers, brewers, smokers, chefs, and other partners to firm up a new date. However, our intended plan is to move the entire Weasel Fest lineup to next year's Memorial Day weekend. We will announce our plans once they are finalized. And then it gets into the options of things that you could do.

Are you doing your own show over there again? Yeah. I'm about to start whistling. Weaselfest is the latest, uh, this is just, this isn't part of the, uh, a part of the, uh, press release, he did a press release.

Yeah. Oh, he did. But it wasn't about how good he is. It's actual information.

Well, I skipped a little, that might have been in there somewhere. I'm sure. He could have slid that in, but it's not like, hey, we're gonna, you know. He doesn't have to.

No. That's true. He just does the right thing all the time. Yes.

Weaselfest is the latest major consumer-based cigar event to be canceled due to the COVID-19 pandemic. All the events in cancellation for major consumer events canceled include: Rocky Mountain Cigar Festival, Drew Estate, Barn Smokers, Texas Cigar Festival, and Smoke Inn on the Carolinas. At airtime, other events such as Cigars International, Cigar Fest, Cigar Aficionados, Las Vegas, and Miami, Big Smoke are still planning to take place. Last week, Erik Espinosa announced on Primetime Episode 142 with our friend Scoop.

Oh. He will make a final decision. Scoop? Did you call him Scoop?

No, Coop. It's the Scoop from Coop. The Scoop? Scoop Coop.

He will make a final decision with Zona Blues at 2020 on August 1st. Now, as I understand it... And it's fucked. Who cares?

Yeah, it's probably not gonna happen, but they are having a meeting today, as I understand it, and as soon as the meeting's over, I am to get information. Ooh! Is the meeting going on right now? It could very well be going on right now.

Can we call Jack and maybe we can get the press release? Hot off the presses. You want to call him real quick? No, I don't.

You sure? We'll call him on the next one. On the Patreon? On the Patreon.

We'll call and see what he's... What do you say? No? All right.

All right, moving on. Are you calling him now? I'm going to text and say he was available. All right, moving on.

A man fires a gun to Cigars International employee after refusing to wear a mask. Yeah. So maybe it is a good idea we don't go to a Cigars International while we're in Texas. We're shooting people.

A man fired gunshot to Cigars International employee after the employee told him he must wear a mask in the store or wait outside. The incident took place earlier today at Cigars International location in Nazarene Pike in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, no injuries were due to the gunfire. According to Matt Cook, director of retail operations for Cigars International, a man entered the store without a mask, in which against both store policy and well estate restrictions, the individual said medical conditions, said Cook.

We have a protocol where we allow a customer to wait outside, gathering all cigars, and do the transaction outside. Instead, the man allegedly grabbed two cigars, did not offer to pay for them, and then walked outside of the parking lot. Cook said a clerk at the store followed the customer outside so he could get a license plate number to report the customer to the police. The man then took out a gun and discharged three shots.

Did they get the license plate? Two of the employees and one in the air. Oh, bang, bang, ch-ch-cham! And he missed?

Was he aiming? He then got his car and drove away. It's nothing like sacrificing your life for cigars. Let's go out there, fuck that guy, let's go get him!

At noon local time, this was last week, the man had not been apprehended, though a warrant had been issued for his arrest, so I assume they did get the license plate, yes. Cigars International is the world's largest cigar retailer, next to Cigar Hustler, it has been three locations, two in Texas, and two upcoming stores in Florida somewhere, we don't know where they are, because Michael will let me read the story, is best known for their website and catalogs, Scandinavian Tobacco Group owns Cigars International. Yay, okay, so, we have a guy, he's upset. No mask.

No mask, but he already, he didn't, the mask thing wasn't why, he was obviously upset about something prior to. H. thing has upset him, I wouldn't believe. Yeah, so tensions are rising.

So he walks into a store. Guy walks into a store. I need cigars. Okay, wait, we'll play this out.

You be the employee, I will be the man. Okay. Okay, I walk into the store. I need cigars!

H. No mask! Grabs two cigars, runs for the door! I'll come get you!

Well, you can't move around like that. Yeah, manly, manly can't move around. Now you're out trying to get a license plate? As an employee, though.

Yes. Like, why? I mean, it's two cigars. Well, he was not chasing the man to get the cigars back, we would hope.

Okay. It's stated in the story, he was just attempting to get the license plate. But even still, like, you know, you had a disgruntled guy. So two cigars.

So we're looking at most $20. Maybe. At full retail? Yeah, maybe $20.

Maybe $20. Right. I mean, and it's Texas, so there's no tax. Cigars by the door.

There's a penny. Maybe like the $6. Yeah, there's probably some bullshit. That's where you put the Carole Baskins by the door.

Like, I want to hire that retailer. You want to hire that guy? Because that guy's going to go the extra mile for fucking $10 an hour, whatever the hell he's making. Right.

You know? So the man draws his gun. Bang, bang. Right.

Oh, you're still coming. Bang! It's possible that CI fires him. Oh, for chasing the man outside.

Yeah. Because that's against the rules. It's probably a liability. Yeah.

When I was in retail years ago at Kmart, we used to chase employees. We used to chase shoplifters. Yeah. And look at you now, Kmart.

Yeah. Look what happened to them. One time, me and the security guy chased a guy outside. I stopped when we got to the edge of the parking lot.

The security guard kept going. Apparently, the man stopped at the gas station on the corner, turned around, karate kicked the security guard two or three times in the head, knocked him down, and then just walked away. The guy came back with a black eye and a bruise on his head. And I was like, I stopped.

I'm sorry. That guy just kicked my ass. That guy just kicked my ass for whatever he stole. Obviously nothing big, but...

Pencils. Who knows? Probably batteries or something. Radio.

Who knows? Small radio. So yeah, so now that... That guy might be looking for work.

What if he gets fired? He's looking for work. If you'd like to move to Florida... We'll hire you.

We'll hire you here. Sure. Not a problem. During the interview, show the bullet wounds.

And I'm gonna advise against you to chase after anybody. Well, we have a much shorter parking lot. It's less running. We have an easier policy too.

We have cameras. We do have cameras. So. Yeah.

We just tell Greg. The lube that keeps the shop moving. Yeah. Look at the camera for the license plate number.

And there it is. Alright, so. Nothing like firing a couple rounds over some cigars and a mask. What the fuck?

He didn't have the mask on, so you know who he was. Yeah. If he had the mask on, it would have been better for him at least. Guy lost his shit.

You know, that usually happens in Florida. Thank you, Texas, for taking the limelight off of Florida for the week. It's open carrot and Texas, isn't it? Yeah.

So? I wonder if he had a hat. Like a big cowboy hat. Big cowboy hat.

Fucking 10 gallon. Couldn't run because he had boots. Yeah, like a 10 gallon. Hey!

I made these cigars. Give me the damn cigars. All right. Fucking Spurs.

Okay, Michael. They tried to get his license plate number, however, he jumped on a horse. Yelled a hi-ho, Silver, and headed for the sunset. We've identified the man by the tail of the horse.

We're looking for a man on a Palomino pony with a white tail. Last scene headed for the sunset. Smoking a cigar that he didn't pay for. I'm picturing this in my head.

I love the fact that it made news, too. I mean, that's some epic shit. Oh, I made all the national cigar news. Yeah, it was everywhere.

I didn't see it on TV, but it did make all the cigar news. It didn't make it on CNN, but it did cover everywhere else. You want to know something? " Shoots at a virgin horseback.

Alright, La Aurora, TAA Exclusivo. This year has been a weird one for just about every part of the world, including the cigar industry. No shit. Like many others, the Tobacco Association of America, TAA, which Michael would like someone to help him get into, Was forced to adjust the plans for 2020.

The group, which is made of about 80 or more prominent brick and mortar retailers in the USA, could be 81. Or maybe one of them falls off. 79. Then it's back up to 80.

Has scheduled its annual meeting for March 22nd to 26th in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. That was cancelled. In a typical year, the meeting allows retailers and about 40 manufacturers, you could get in twice. As a manufacturer?

Yes. I don't know if I want to do that. What am I going to do? Am I going to sell on Posani that I don't fucking have?

Hey, so here's the deal. Oh, they want to see each other in person, they're like face-to-face meeting. You can just write this big order and I'm going to send you none of it. With the gathering of back order, it's all back order.

It's all back order. A variety of social events. Then I won't contact you, I'll send it. Presentations and selling opportunities.

We really need to get that printer fixed. It is fixed. The highest profile of those selling opportunities is the TA exclusive series program, which sees manufacturers create exclusive cigars from TA retailers While committing and donating a portion of the proceeds to the organization. Oh, see, that's why PCA is doing that.

Same idea. Ultimately, TAA was forced to cancel the in-person event due to the coronavirus. It instead opted to have a virtual event and the event was canceled. Perhaps the most notable part...

Aren't you doing that the whole time I'm talking? TAA Square. TAA meeting and convention would be two companies with a long history in the cigar business. Yes, people like when I annoy you.

TAA exclusive for the first time, La Aurora and Villaker. Ray reviews on me annoying you. That would be annoying. So, as I understand it, the La Aurora has sold quite well.

You're unfazed. What? You're unfazed. What do you mean I'm unfazed?

By my harassment. Oh, no, I'm just moving on. So, the TA's. TA didn't happen.

La Aurora came out with their first cigar. And sold it to nobody because they weren't there or they're offering it to them? No, the rep was offering it to the TA members. Apparently, they sold it to the TA members.

Willie. Willie sold it to the TA members. Oh, you know what I forgot to talk about at the top? Yeah, you did.

We did. We rocked right away. Okay. If you tried to listen to us on the Florida Man Radio.

This is amazing. I just wanted to know, this story is absolutely amazing. We had a little bit of, evidently, a misunderstanding involved with the radio show. Huh.

Huh. A misunderstanding. So, they were supposed to email me something, and they kept saying, you know, I kept asking. Oh, hey, I never got the email.

I never got the email. Could you send it again? Oh, okay. Yep, I'll have the guy send it again.

Not a problem again. Okay. I will text you again immediately when I receive the email. Still never got the email.

Reached out to Willie from Aurora Aurora because he was on last week, and I said, did you have the – Did you get the email? Did you get the email? Could you forward me the email? He goes, no.

I had a face-to-face meeting. Anything unusual? I asked him, anything unusual or anything special, I need to know. No.

Pretty cut and dry stuff. Just go right in. Just go right in. It's going to be amazing.

You know, you have the address. Maitland? Yep. Yep.

That's where you go. Brought my GoPro and everything. So we – I come and pick you up. We load up and go and drive over there.

We get in the golf cart. We get in my little person, which is dead now, the battery died. Oh, good. I don't know why.

I need some new battery. Probably old. Probably. So, we get there and we find we can't get in.

Knock, knock. Knock, knock. No response. Text the guy that we're supposed to be meeting there.

Hey, we're here. No answer. No one answered. There was a number on the door.

I called the number and the young ladies who were on the air currently, that's who answered the phone. Oh. So she said, "Oh, I'm very sorry. " Apparently, she texted that man who came to listen.

So they let us in. We're sitting in the front lobby area, and they said they need to go do a few things. They'll be right back. " By that time, he's gone.

So read the thing. So kind of chucks it at you and just fucking bails. Yeah. Apparently, they were going to charge us to be a guest on their show.

Yeah. There's a fee involved on Florida Man Radio. They gave up. Oh, 30 minutes.

No way. Yeah. It was exactly 30 minutes if it would have ran. Wow.

Wow. Every video camera only records for 30 minutes, apparently. Son of a bitch. So we have the same problem.

Goodbye, GoPro. I don't know. We'll use it for other stuff. We'll just take the break.

Yeah. No, we'll use it for other stuff. Or we could do, you know, close-ups. Well, yeah, I'm excited about it still.

Good. Very nice gift from your wife. Lovely gift. Very thoughtful.

So anyway, we sit there, we sit there, and we wait, and then it's like a minute after airtime, what we thought was going to be airtime. Yeah, so we're supposed to come on at 3:00. At 3:00. We got there at 2:45, 2:50-ish time they let us in.

Yeah. So at 2:00 after 3:00. Because you're now 15 minutes early. You're late.

That's right. So then we get up and leave. And as we are leaving, the man goes, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. You guys don't want to be on the show?

And I tell him, I go, there's a misunderstanding here, sir. I'm very sorry. Apparently, there's a fee involved? Right.

Yeah. We weren't told there was a fee. We're not. We had no idea.

We're not prepared to pay to be on the radio. Okay, not a problem. And he goes and shuts the door behind. Now, here's the deal.

First of all, we are now charging for all our guests moving forward. Apparently, that's a thing. I don't know the, you know, big mistake for us. Well, Jack's been on four times.

Three years in the industry, he owes us at least 800 bucks. At least 800 dollars, exactly. And if there's two people from the same show, do we charge double? So, yeah, no, and we give them a discount rate.

Oh, well, you know, it was two for the two of us, so maybe it's a hundred dollars a person. Oh, yeah, that's true. Maybe. Okay, so they, you know, the 200 bucks, who gives a fuck about 200 dollars?

It's just the fact that we didn't know. The simple principle of how they handled the whole situation is like, well, fuck that. You know, why would we subject ourselves? I mean, for the $200, supposedly, you got a couple of commercials during the show, and the actual act of being on the show.

But meanwhile, we promoted the whole . . you . .

I promoted it for two weeks. Yeah. Something doesn't make sense. No.

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark. It's all right. Mm-hmm. So .

. So, we're very sorry if you went to listen. So we didn't do it. We were not on.

Yeah. We listened to the first part of the show. There was no mention that we were not on. They had another gentleman that came in right behind us.

Apparently, they just talked to him about bourbon. I don't think they could have kept up with us anyways. The pace that we keep on this show is just not the same of FM, the slow radio. Yes, very, it was a little slow.

You know, their approach is totally different than ours, and I don't think it would have gelled. You know, I went on Abe's show. Abe didn't charge me. I've done Abe's Show twice.

No Charge. No Charge. No Charge. And I would assume that is a much bigger show.

Huh. So weird. Coop? Coop?

No Charge. No Charge. Cigar Dojo? You know, actually, this past, yesterday was the one year anniversary of you being on Dojo.

Really? So it's been a year. With the T-Rex? Yes.

And the Jedi fight? Yes, because all the promotions that I did for that came up on my time. It's coming up. It came up on my time hop yesterday.

It was pretty amazing. We had a lot of fun with that one. We did. Mike, if you say there's a Tyrannosaurus Rex behind me, I'm just going to have to believe you, I can't see it.

If there are two men having a lightsaber fight behind me, I'll just assume that's what's going on. Yeah, we take it to the next level. Coop was very upset that there was nobody behind me. No, I still feel bad.

I still feel bad. But can you imagine if we had set that up and then it was pushed back an hour and a half, right? Well, yeah. At least it wasn't raining that night.

We did Dojo, we were out in the rain. Yeah, it's true. It was much hotter. It was much hotter.

The dojo was pretty epic. What we did there was pretty amazing. Yes. " Is that an alligator?

What the hell? " That was good stuff. Good times. So, just don't worry, next show that has Mikey on, we will bring back the skits.

Apparently that is something people expect now. You need to go again? No, I'm checking to see if Jack Tron is not responding, so. Maybe he's in the meeting.

Could be. He will answer the phone if you call. Think so? I think he will.

I don't know. He's going to answer. I'll play. Oh, let's do it.

Let's do it. Are you going to come real quick? Okay, while you're doing that, I'll do this next story real quick. NFL commissioner announces cancellation of the 2020 preseason games over coronavirus concerns, Michael.

Such bullshit. This is the sports section of our show. Did I tell you what happened to me? With what?

With my season tickets? Yes, you did mention it when I saw you over the weekend. But not on the show. Not on the show.

No, no. Los Angeles NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced in an open letter published on Monday that the league's preseason games have been canceled due to the coronavirus over the ongoing... I'm going to watch the XFL moving forward anyways. The Rock owns it now.

Screw you. The NFL in 2020 will not look like other years because they're flagged. They're not touching each other. Oh, here we go.

And he's believed that COVID-19 is expected to get... Yes, sir. Hey. See, I told you he'd answer the phone.

Why? How come? I text you. I know.

I was in a meeting. What's going on? You're on the podcast. I'm on the podcast.

And we're going to need $200. I got Hector and Richie and Junior right next to me. So we can get a whole Fuck That Guy session going right now. I can give you a course of Fuck That Guys right now.

That'd be amazing. Oh, it's nice. So, what's up with Lozona Palooza? Is it confirmed over?

Is it not happening or what? We want to be the primary release -- We have a press release coming out. Well, we want to be ahead of the press release. We want to be ahead of the curve this time.

Hector is asking me who this is. That's insulting, isn't it? It is insulting. It's very insulting.

Mike and Mike, buddy. Wow. He's having a snack. I'm fucking over there.

So has Lozona been canceled or is it a go? Arizona Palusia. Can we tell them about Arizona Palusia? Nobody listens to their podcasts.

Yeah, we have, there's like 10 people. 10 people. Tops. Tens of people.

Listen to Jack. He's making himself laugh. Richie doesn't have to call me now. The Gremlin?

What do you call that thing? What do you call the, what's the other one called? The Gremlin? The Mogwai?

The Pay-Per-View. Pay-Per-View. The Patreon? Oh, the Patreon.

Yeah. They've been sued. That might go. Is it the Patreon?

We'll see how that goes. No, this is the regular show. This is standard show. The standard show?

Yes. So, La Zona Palooza will be canceled this year. Oh. Let's see how he delivered that.

Yes, that's nice. He's very talented. Womp womp. So there you have it.

But we have an amazing event planned. That's coming in a press release. We have an amazing alternative to La Zona Palooza 2020. - Does it involve webcams?

- Are we going back to the Jack, all Jack, 24 hours? - All Jack, all live, 24 hours. - All the time. - All the time.

- That was my favorite thing when the pandemic started. - He started with it, but he really kind of fizzled out. - Well, it's hard. - It's Jack-a-palooza this year, man.

- Jack-a-palooza. - You heard it here first, Jack-a-palooza. - Very nice. - So yeah, we will make an announcement on what's coming up shortly, but there will be a very cool alternative.

It sounds very low. Some really cool things attached to it, and I think the Espinosa fans will be very happy. Okay. All right.

All right. Thank you very much, Jack. Well, Jack, we appreciate your time. I'm going to send you over credit card information for you to fill out to have you on this show.

It's going to be around 200 bucks, so you're welcome. Thank you. All right. Thank you, Jack.

Thanks, Jack. Give everybody else our love. Later. Bye.

So there you have it. I can fix the audio. Yeah. Gotcha.

So Lozona Palooza. Canceled. A no-go. But a very good alternative.

An exciting press release is coming up with something new, apparently. So next week we will have Coop's take on... Coop Scoop? Coop Scoop.

Oh, that's what we'll call it now. This is the Coop Scoop. This is the Coop Scoop. Oh, very nice.

Okay, so no football. Let's see. So wait, but before you get off that. So Buccaneers canceled all season tickets.

Oh, that's right, yes. You said that. Now it's Thunderdome. You have to try and get tickets to the games.

And they're all going to be spaced out. Everybody's going to be spaced out. So you can, so no season ticket holders. Right.

In order, they're like, hey, this is really fucking complicated. We can't figure out a way to, like, and I would be pissed if this is the only realistic way to do it. Right. Like, they want to space out parties.

Correct. Okay, I get that. So you can't say, hey, you of row one have lost your tickets because the person next to you is coming. So you can't go to this game, right?

Like the- Do you know how many season ticket holders there are? I think there's a fuck ton after Tom Brady pulled up. Oh, yeah, yeah, probably right. Yeah, right.

Yeah, sure would have been quite busy. So there would have been no way to do like, okay, you get game one, you get game two. Oh, and that would have been epically fucking miserable too, because like, nobody wants to see the Carolina Panthers play. Right, exactly.

Everybody wants to see the Saints play, you know. You bet they're better off just going, no money. Right, like here's the deal. We're going to actually – we're going to keep your money is what they said.

We're going to hold this. We're going to hold this money. And if you need – if you want to try and buy some tickets, you can use that. Oh, okay.

If you – If not, you can just put it towards next year. Gotcha. Gotcha. Sort of like Weasel Fest.

Yeah. You have options. You have option one, option two, and option three, you get a pair of steak knives. Oh, from Kirk.

option one is you're fired okay moving on moving on we have a public service how about the XFL though I mean we're not talking about that come on the rock bought the XFL that's a big deal that came out just now but the story was so long 15 million dollars he bought that shit blue light special you know blue light special you're from Kmart I know blue light special I've done my share of blue light special here we go check out these straples for the next 15 minutes in the center of the store by the midway yes Present Thunderdome in the middle of game art. Yes. Alright, are you done? Yeah.

Alright, moving on. I don't know if I'm done. Yeah, I'm done. Public service message, do not open, do not plant, Florida officials issue warning over mysterious seed packets.

What are the seeds? I need to know what these seeds are! I'm dying to know what they're doing. How do we not grow 'em?

I might plant them too. I mean, son of a bitch! Maybe just one. Maybe it'll be that monster from the, uh...

Ooh, Little Shop of Horrors? Yes, maybe it's him. Feed me, Seymour! Right.

Hell yeah! That'd be amazing! The Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services. Would it come out speaking Chinese?

No. No. Why did you see more? Oh, feed me see more!

Feed me more now! Straight to hell. I need to eat! Feed me now!

Feed me now! I need more noodle! I need a person. Let's see.

Unsolicited packages received from the mail from China. S. have reported receiving unexpected packages from Chinese characters. You fucking know somebody is going to plant those seeds.

Somebody is. It's a mystery. Somebody did plant them. Yeah, what are they?

You couldn't tell from the photo. Who can it be? It's probably like kudzu, and it's going to overtake the country. It's got to be something that's going to, yeah.

So China's really, I mean, they're really banging us out over here. Officials said many of the packages-- Fucking pandemic and then this shit, I mean, come on. Oh, it's jewelry, so don't wear them either, apparently. Oh, you wear this.

Officials said packages have been reported in Virginia, Kansas, Washington, Oklahoma, Louisiana, Utah, and others. See, here's where they fucked up. They didn't send them to Florida, man. What the hell's wrong with you?

You know these people in Florida would have grown that shit. Maybe they don't grow in this particular region. In this climate? In this climate.

It's too humid. I don't know. I would have taken the stab. The odds are more likely that Floridians would have-- Oh, wait, wait.

160 reports from Florida residents having received suspicious seed. There it is. There it is. They will be everywhere.

So I just wanted to know, you're going to fast forward in three years, the end of the world was those seeds that made it to Florida. S. Customs and Border Protection. Can Greg call Steve and get his seeds?

Greg call Steve? His friend? Scott. Scott.

Oh. No. He's buried by the book. He is the law.

Oh. And when receiving unsolicited seed packages from other countries, should not open the seed package and avoid opening other packages or mailing materials if possible. Officials said, do not plant the seeds or discard them in the trash that will be sent to a landfill. The commitment from whoever packaged them though.

Oh no, you can't send them, you can't put them in the trash, they'll go to landfill, then they'll grow. That's the plan. What do you do now? You know, it's weird.

Adrian got this little, got a package in the mail from China. Yeah. So she opened it because she thought it was something she ordered from Amazon or something. Asbestos.

It's this tiny little piece of Velcro that if you have long hair in your woman, you put it in your hair and it holds your hair back while you do your makeup. She didn't buy it. She didn't order it or anything. I Googled it and it's some scam where if you keep the package, they could possibly send other packages to your house of stolen goods and somebody picks it up off your porch type thing.

Now, I opened it and everything, and I gave it to our local mailman here to check, and he said, "We don't know anything about it. " So now you're gonna have ninjas approaching your house? I'm opening it and get, like, some free shit at my house. But you're like, it's a gay community.

Yeah, but it comes in the mail. But somebody's gotta pick it up. Well, the mailman brings it and drops it off at your door, like an Amazon package. Yeah, but how do they get, I don't see the scan.

Oh, how do they get in? Well, they might not understand. I'm in the mail. It's a gated community.

How do they, yeah, like, oh shit. But I mean, you know, it's gated. It's not Fort Knox. Just follow somebody in.

Huh. I mean, if I pull up and there's somebody there trying to punch in a code, I just hit the button and go around them. So, like, if a kilo of Colombian Bam Bam just fucking pops up in your house, what do you do? Oh, I would give that to the police.

Oh, fuck that. I'm just kidding. Or call a friend up here with the Bam Bam connection. A friend up here with the Bam Bam connection?

I don't want to say his name on the air. No, I don't know who he is. Oh, I know who he is. Yeah, you do.

Yes, I know who you're talking about now. Hey, can you move this? I need just like 25%. Hey, listen.

I got a package here. I got a package here. It's a powdery substance. I don't know what it is.

Yeah, I need you to take it and go smear it on his gums. Oh, that's good. Make that move. All right, Michael.

I figured this story would pertain to you. Would trigger me? Then I have one more story. Oh, we're in 52 minutes.

Look at this. We might have to take another break. Oh, Pedro. For the gym owner arrested for not enforcing the mask order.

I'm sorry? Sorry? A gym owner was arrested for not enforcing the mask order. A South Florida gym owner was arrested after fining a county mask order.

Okay. He was allowing members at his 24-hour gym fitness to elect whether or not they wear masks while working out against a county order requiring them to wear one. He refused to close after that, but he's told them to do so. This whole thing is really about how long?

This is a long thing. A group of protesters in anti-mask administration last week. He had also filed a lawsuit against the county over the mask. mask uh just said the owner or the order is intrusive he said was concerned about the health of his members who might faint or get dizzy working out wearing a mask and okay investigators have received 311 complaints about the gym okay so he was released from jail tuesday all right okay i'll break this down for you okay quickly we have seven minutes and i have one more one more really good story the first thing yes is that if it's mandated yes there should be no problem with People just complying.

Like, just fucking wear the mask. Just wear the mask. Right. Now, I have worn the mask at the gym and I take it off when I'm working out on a thing and I'll hang it on my ear, whatever the case may be.

If you have a mask that is a little thicker, and I do, it's fucking miserable. So I get it. And like, to a point where, you know, you feel like I can't fucking breathe, I'm nauseous. Right.

Okay, so here's what you do. If we were mandated to wear a mask everywhere we were here. And at the gym, I would wear a thinner mask, one that was easier to, that didn't feel as. You don't have that.

The show one's quite breathable. The show one is perfect. Like anything like this, it's, it's a little bit thinner. It's still going to reduce shit going out.

Um, and you can still operate with it as a human being. Like, I don't understand for one, I just feel like all of this was not necessary. He didn't have to, he shouldn't have had to get in an upheaval. He shouldn't have had to get arrested.

People should have complied and people should be quasi-unless. Don't die fucking intelligent about this whole process. Just do what we have to do to get over this shit. Right, and just get past it.

Right. Yes. Feel better? No.

Okay, I got five minutes. This is a great story. I saved it for the last story. You saved it for the last story.

You think you can fit it in? Yes. Yes, very quickly. All right, I'm over it.

A Florida lab dancer has been arrested in Miami after assaulting five police officers with her vagina Whoa! and using it as a deadly weapon without the intent to kill. Does she have COVID or something? Brittany Simmons, 24, was performing at the Camel Toe Strip Club when an altercation began between Simmons and several clients at the club.

Miami police were called to intervene and attempted to apprehend Simmons, who was highly intoxicated and acting erratically according to the official police report. Five Miami, five, five Miami-Dade Police Department officers attempted to place Simmons under arrest, but were momentarily indisposed by her vagina. No, no. When, hold on, hold on, hold on, when the lap dancer ejected vaginal fluid.

Oh, my God. Towards the officers. Temporary, blinding three and injuring two. That is some technique.

What is in that thing? I mean. Okay, this is what the officer said. Do you think she ever gets married?

Not now. I mean, that guy is under her control. 100%. Okay, this is what the officer said.

She just spread her legs wide open and started squirting in the cops' faces, eyes and mouths, from a distance of about 12 to 15 feet. What a trajectory. Holy moly. One Night Witness told reporters, visibly amused by the whole affair.

So the witness was giggling. Was there a video? Knowing full well she was exposing the police officers to a number of sexually transmitted diseases and potentially HIV as well, it is considered that she used her vagina with lethal force. Well, I'm sure that the- I can't see officers, explain Miguel.

The employees at the Campbelltow are probably, you know, top notch. Her attorney argued- Wait, she has a really good attorney. Simmons' attorney, Alan Smith, so if you're ever in trouble in Miami, look up Alan Smith. Alan Schumner is the guy you want to look up in Miami.

He argued that his client acted in self-defense and used her vagina, not as a deadly weapon, but in the appropriate boundaries of her working skills and abilities. Wow. Look at that. that alan smith of course you according to current florida law and if convicted of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon uh-huh deadly on you the rest of your life i mean let's be honest the vagina can be deadly they claim my vagina is a deadly weapon certified she just became the headliner i would imagine at that strip club what's her name britney um britney simmons what's That's her stage name.

She's 24. Bedazzle. Vagina squirter is her new name. Let's see.

Super soaker to the main stage. Oh, listen. She could face up to 1,036 years in jail. 1,036.

Believe legal experts. I think she's going to die before then. We have three minutes here. In 2013, a court case of another Miami citizen was convicted of armed robbery after threatening a convenience store clerk with his erect and AIDS-infected penis and was sentenced to 237 years in jail.

My penis has AIDS, and I will ejaculate. So a fact from the AIDS, do we get the killer vagina and the killer penis together and see if they can create like a whole new race of super defense mechanisms of death. I saw that story today and had to get into it. Oh, I got to add this.

I got to write that one down. Killer vagina in Miami. So we're kind of glad Luzona Palooza because they got killer vaginas down there. Everybody loves a good killer vagina.

You know what, I hope they sign her for La Zobabalooza. Maybe that's the big surprise. We have a huge announcement, Jack Toronto comes on, he's like, we have a big press release. I'll put up a picture of the young lady.

Stage name, Super Soaker. I've been asked to put up pictures for different stories. The Super Soaker 1000. Oh, that's what she calls herself, Super Soaker.

Will be, I've said it like four times, thanks. The Super Soaker 1000 will be joining us at La Zobabalooza. On the main stage, coming out next, Super Soaker. The first three rows are like the splash zone.

If you're in the first three rows, we recommend that you put up the drop cloth. That you wear a poncho. They sell ponchos with their picture on them like at SeaWorld. Oh my god, that'd be amazing.

Camel Toe Joes, what was it called? Camel Toe Joes or some shit? Camel Toe Strip Club. The Camel Toe.

Forming at the Camel Toe. When an altercation began between... How did that break out? Like, how did the fight break out with the stripper that was naked?

I mean, like, how did we get— Was she standing? Was she sitting? I mean, I need more information. How did we get there?

You know, I'm hoping that they'll follow the story. If Miss Simmons would like to call in also. No, don't call in. That's more of a Zoom.

I think that's a visual. I won't be on that either. We could set up cans to see if she could hit them from a distance. You go ahead.

What are you, fucking Howard Stern all of a sudden? She's shooting cigars. She shoots a gong, bing, bing, bing! Oh, that's great.

Alright, we got 15 seconds, it's gonna go off. I saw that your gong has been used in other places. Somebody else has a gong, I don't care. We should probably get a bigger gong.

Yeah, that gong you sent me was $1,300. I know. It'd be quite the Patreon commitment. Yes, it wouldn't be.

Oh! It's off. The video went off. Okay.

Alright guys, this is episode 133. Let's let it run afterwards, the curtain's down right now. Cigar Hustler podcast. I need a squirty vagina cartoon to put up or something.

Pa-choon, pa-choon, pa-choon, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. Super Soaker 1000. All right, guys, thank you. Bye.

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Hi, I'm doing Hoostoe-Raw. Yeah, we just don't have to do a single, uh, single podcast ever again, ever. I'm good, Mike and Mike. How are you guys doing?

What are you doing? The Hojo de... Hojo! It's the Hojo!

You didn't even let him fuck it up all the way. I couldn't get past Hojo! I don't even have to try it. I'm not even going to try it.

We're going to cover a lot of ground here, Mike. All right. Try to keep up. That's a sign of a good podcast.

It's going to be like four cigars when I walked in a door. All right, end this. Alright, end this.

Show Notes

Get caught up on all the shop drama...we get news right from jack Torano! And Miami its always wet but not like this!!

All this and more this week!!

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