Episode 134 England Grows a Penis! Everything we mean everything is canceled! We back our first Candidate!
Episode Summary
Episode 134 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast opens with the hosts catching up after a week off — a four-day Charleston, South Carolina trip (rooftop bars, a miserable burger joint, and an outstanding seafood dinner at 167 Raw), the loss of a family dog and the emotional realities of end-of-life vet visits, a new Shepadoodle puppy on the way, and a detour into movie talk covering The Old Guard and Raiders of the Lost Ark.
The cigar news block is the meat of the episode. Casa de Montecristo canceled the 2020 Tampa Cigar Bash, following earlier cancellations of Espinosa's La Zona Palooza and the postponement of RoMa Craft's Weasel Fest to Memorial Day weekend 2021, while the Cigar Heritage Festival in Ybor City remains scheduled for December. The biggest story is Nat Sherman International shutting down its premium cigar wholesale business and the iconic New York City Townhouse by the end of September. The hosts read Michael Herklots' statement and debate what killed the brand: Altria's disinterest in the premium side, an aging consumer base the brand never replaced, and the failure of the Epoca, Metropolitan, Timeless and Host relaunch to attract younger smokers — the same generational problem they see facing Romeo y Julieta and Montecristo.
Regulatory news follows: the FDA told a federal court it intends to research the health effects of premium cigars and defer substantial equivalency enforcement on a case-by-case basis, which sparks a rant about years of regulatory limbo (and a tangent on nicotine in tomatoes, potatoes, eggplant and peppers). On the release front, Espinosa announced the Expo, its first exclusive for Benny's Beverage Depot in the Chicago area — a 6x52 Belicoso with a Mexican Capa Negra wrapper over Nicaraguan binder and filler, made at La Zona, limited to 400 ten-count butcher-paper soft packs at $56.95. The hosts also run through Cigar Insider's hottest cigar brands list, topped by Padrón 1964 Anniversary, Arturo Fuente, Fuente Fuente OpusX, Liga Privada, La Flor Dominicana, Rocky Patel, Davidoff, Oliva Serie V, My Father and Montecristo.
The show closes with an odd-news item about a British man growing a replacement penis on his arm, an endorsement of Anne-Marie Schuster of Schuster's cigar distribution in Germany (RoMa Craft's German distributor) in her run for office, and a genuinely somber Listener of the Week tribute to Orlando Cartagena, a Delta employee and friend of the shop who died of COVID-19 — leading to a heartfelt plea to wear a mask and stop the social media conspiracy posting.
In This Episode
- 01Charleston Trip, Dogs and Movie TalkThe hosts recap a four-day Charleston vacation, a bad burger joint versus a great meal at 167 Raw, losing a family dog, a new Shepadoodle on the way, and debates over The Old Guard and Raiders of the Lost Ark.
- 022020 Tampa Cigar Bash CanceledCasa de Montecristo pulls the plug on the October Tampa Cigar Bash, joining a growing list of canceled consumer cigar events.
- 03Nat Sherman Shuts Down Its Premium Cigar BusinessThe 90-year-old brand closes its wholesale cigar operation and NYC Townhouse, with Michael Herklots' farewell statement and the hosts' take on Altria, aging consumers and the failed rebrand.
- 04FDA Delays Substantial Equivalency for Premium CigarsThe FDA tells a Maryland federal court it will research premium cigars and defer premarket authorization enforcement case-by-case.
- 05Espinosa Cancels La Zona PaloozaEspinosa calls off its 2020 La Zona Palooza in Hialeah due to South Florida's COVID surge and plans a virtual replacement event.
- 06Espinosa Expo for Benny's Beverage DepotA 6x52 Belicoso with Mexican Capa Negra wrapper over Nicaraguan binder and filler, 400 soft packs at $56.95, honoring the 1893 Chicago World's Fair.
- 07Cigar Insider's Hottest Brands ListA guessing game through the top 10, from Padrón 1964 Anniversary and Arturo Fuente at the top to My Father and Montecristo.
- 08Listener of the Week: Orlando CartagenaA tribute to a friend of the shop lost to COVID-19, followed by a sincere plea to wear masks and drop the conspiracy posts.
Brands & Cigars Discussed
Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.
Transcript
Welcome to episode 134 of the Cigar Hustlers Podcast. This week, England grows a penis. Everything! Everything's been canceled.
And we back our first political candidate. All this and more in episode 134 of a Cigar Hustlers Podcast. All right. Episode 134.
A lot of episodes. I'm very tired. You're tired? Tired of all the episodes.
Let's start over at 1. Just start saying 1. Episode 1. Season 2, Episode 1.
Can we do like 1B or something? 1A, 1B, 1C. Well, this is episode 134 of the Cigar Hustler Podcast, the number one rated cigar show on Podbean! I want it to get to like 1,000, but at that point I feel like- That's like 900 more weeks.
Yeah. I won't live that long. I feel like my hair will be well receded at that point. 50, let's see what, 52 into 900?
Wow, you sound very upset about it. You got to commit to the process. Commit, Michael. We've been doing this for almost three years now.
I think I have committed. And I have the tattoo. Have you? Do you have the tattoo?
You know, both of those statements-- This is a level of committal right here. The tattoo. Maybe you could do just the microphone. Just a little microphone, maybe?
Both of those statements are very valid points. And I got nothing. I got nothing. There you go.
You win. Thank you. I'm not-- You're not committed. I'm not a tattoo kind of guy.
I'm not. That's what would make it even more that special. Even more that special. I'm not saying no.
I'm just saying no. Do you need a lighter? I'm just saying that's not going to happen. We could go together.
I'll get another one. No. It'd be great. You could use your GoPro.
First of all, hold on. One sec. My wife has my name on her foot and it's been there for like over a decade. See, I think it's bad luck to get somebody's name tattooed on your part.
Well, I mean, that's obviously horseshit because we've been together since the dawn of time. There were the dinosaurs and then there was us. Oh, you're very young. Well, you're very young.
So, how, do you, you want to see how quickly we could fucking end my marriage? Hey, honey, check us out. You know how I hate tattoos? I got a Cigar Hustlers Podcast tattoo, and not your name.
You could, but you could make it Britney's Cigar Hustlers Podcast. And my name is Britney Chevon Carrington. This is my life. You know what?
She could have her own podcast. I've been telling her that for two years now. And that's exactly how she would start each one. I know, that's why I said it.
Hello, my name is Brittany Stefankevich, and this is my life. Bum, bum, bum, ba-dum, bum, bum, ba-dum. We can reach out to Southern Gunner. He can do the whole intro.
More baby music-ish. Yeah. Nursery rhyme sounding. Yeah.
So the fucking kids. That's the way. Every episode, the fucking kids. Let me tell you what the fucking kids did this week.
And my stupid-ass husband. Hey! That's how she would start each show. I'm a great.
I'm never stupid. She could fill an hour without even trying. I'm never stupid. But come on.
She could call it in. She didn't even have to come in. We have the ability now to- We just do a segment on the podcast. We'd have to have an hour and a half, two hour show.
We'd have to have- She needs her own. Yeah, you're right. She needs her own. I would produce it for her.
It would be the number one baby show on Podbean. The baby. The baby. How old is the baby now, by the way?
Now she's sitting up and doing stuff? I mean- I saw the pictures. She's on her third chapter book. Oh, is she?
Wow. Yeah, no, she's... This is Martin Luther King, and this is... What are the name of those books you used to have?
Oh, Who Is? Who Is? Yeah, she's already read Who Is Martin Luther King and Who Is John F. Kennedy.
We always start with Muhammad Ali. I mean, come on. We're going to have priorities. I'm so proud of Martin Luther King.
Muhammad Ali. Very close. I don't know. Very close.
Three-time champion. The man that stopped segregation in schools. Did he refuse to go to the draft? I don't think they both might have done that.
Not fighting that war? Ridiculous. Anyway, I had a great vacation last week. I was trying to get into that.
The segway was Muhammad Ali? You cut me off with... That was leading me into my vacation? No, you started off talking about the babysitting up.
Oh, because I thought of the phone. We were talking about your family. Yeah. We had a great time.
So anyways... They had riots there. So you went to South Carolina. We went to Charleston specifically.
We spent four lovely days in Charleston. That's in South Carolina? Yes. Barely.
Barely. Near the water. Oh. But they had riots, which I didn't know about, because several of the buildings had broken windows and boards.
Are you sure they didn't have an earthquake? No, because we asked and they told us they were riots and we had a little bit of theft, a little bit of damage. Maybe they were just covering it up. Some buildings had Black Lives Matter posters in the window, I guess they were hoping they wouldn't get looted.
Stop, we support it! But like, let's see, Kate Spade had a busted window, the Walgreens and the CVS had busted windows. I mean, I agree with Kate Spade, you know, it's just... Yeah, right.
I'm just kidding. Not Sperry, they don't like Sperry's Dock Sider shoes, they didn't, nothing there. Untouched. But I mean, there was still like broken glass inside the stores, I mean, it wasn't that long ago.
Either that or they have a terrible cleaning crew. I just saw that there was new riots in Chicago today. Ah, last night. They were last night.
People got shot again. No shooting. No shootings while we were there. Well, that's good.
Yes. I also might be going to South Carolina. Oh, yeah. You mentioned that briefly.
Where are you going? Yes. In October. On a trip?
It's going to be a there and back. Is it an event? Nope. Where are you going?
We have put a down payment on a dog. A new dog? A new dog. What kind of dog?
A Shep-a-doodle. I've never heard of such a thing. I know. It's amazing.
So it's an angry German dog with curly hair? Pretty much. Oh. Shepherd and a poodle?
It's a German Shepherd and a poodle. So you're going to have three? I don't know about the one, man. Oh, which one's not doing well?
Falcor's not. Falcor? Yeah. You know, last time I was at your house, I noticed the dog was not as rambunctious as normally, But you guys are trying to get rid of Fluffy.
Yeah, well, I mean, it's just kind of the course of life. I have no control over which one goes first. I mean, unfortunately, the one that I like the most is going to go first, I think. You know, that's what happens when you have a purebred.
So, her hips banged up, and she's starting to pee, like... Uncontrollably? Everywhere. I mean, it's just like enough, like in spots and stuff.
Incontinent. Incontinent? That's what happens with people when they get old and they can't hold their pee-pee. Yeah, that's what's happening to her.
I feel like her days are numbered. That sucks. Yeah. She's a good dog.
Yeah, it's tough, I mean. It's going around, Mike. I've had other dogs that have passed, but that was the first time I stayed in the room, normally. When your dog passed.
Yeah, a couple of weeks ago. Yeah. Normally, someone else always handled that, but it's tough. Yeah.
It's tough. Oof. And the vet kept asking if I was sure I was ready because there's two shots they give it. One shot's a sedative, which sort of just puts – I mean, it goes like that.
The dog just down. But it's not out. Still lift its head and stuff, but it's very relaxed, I guess they say, or whatever. And then she's like, okay, you ready for the second shot?
Very depressing. Are you sure, sir? Are you ready? I'm like, can we just do that?
No, I'll never fucking be ready. How many times do I have to hold this dog? Like, no, I'm not ready. I'm never gonna be ready.
Right, but I don't wanna sit here any longer, please. You know, I'm crying, the vet's crying, the other girl's tearing up. We got the loveliest card from this vet. The vet we went to was a 24-hour vet in Sanford that we've never been to before in our life, never been at all.
Normally, you know, you get the Rainbow Bridge card from the vet, and it's, you know, maybe one person signed it. Everybody who worked there, evidently, like eight nurses and a doctor signed that card. They wrote nice little messages, they referred to the dog by name, she was such a sweet girl. I mean, you'd think we've been going there for years.
Wow. We're definitely changing vets now. Yeah. I mean, we have two more dogs still at home.
That makes sense. Yeah. And put in the effort. Put in the effort.
Except they never, well, you've had relatives this past, so, I mean, you know, with a human, it's a good-sized box. It is. So, you know, they bring in the catalog, and you have to pick which one you want, you know, we went with an urn instead of a box this time. Right.
Even my other dogs, I guess because they were bigger dogs, it's still a decent-sized box. This thing is like this pink. Yeah. Tiny little ceramic urn.
So, when the dog passes, I have to put him in a box? No, you don't have to. You can take him with you and bury him in your backyard if you want. Oh, my goodness.
I mean, some people do that. Oh, that sounds intense. But yeah, well, I've always had the dog cremated. Yeah, I emotionally scar all my children, bring the fucking dog in over a blanket.
Is there a pet cemetery around here anywhere? Uh, in Apopka's actually, that's a good place. That's where they actually do it. They'll bury it there.
You can have it buried there. Will it bring her back? Like the movie? The movie?
Oh, no, no, not Pet Sematary. No. Not scary with the demon animal. No.
No, not the demon. I would take the demon animal. I don't know. That cat was pretty scary in that movie.
I don't know. But you can choose, let's see, what were the options? The option was a single cremation, a mass cremation, which I guess then you just get a handful of other people's dogs. And then you can get the ashes back.
They will sprinkle the ashes there in their garden of eternal life or something they call it. Or they'll bury the dog there for you, and I imagine there's, you know, fees involved with each one. I don't know if I want to, I don't know if I'm prepared for all that either. We were $400 start to finish, that's the procedure and the urn was complimentary, they say, of course.
Oh! I think that was added in there somewhere, I'm sure. Well, that was thoughtful. Right.
But your dog's big, might be more. Ah, things I gotta look forward to. Thanks, Mike. I'm very excited about that.
Well, if you want me to go. To what, to go get the new dog? Well, that too, but I mean, when you need to go. I mean, I think I would.
I appreciate that. I appreciate that. I think I'd go rogue, though. I don't think I'd want anybody else around to deal with it.
Yeah. I've seen you cry, Michael. It's not, it's not. I've held your hand more than once.
Yeah? So you have? Have you seen me cry? You cry in your sleep.
I have? Yes. Interesting. It's either the scream that I'm going to kill you, the night terrors, or you cry and whimper.
Oh. Interesting. Either way. I know you're full of shit.
Not the night terrors. The night terrors are accurate. That's only happened twice, I think, in the many times we have traveled together. I think that's only happened twice.
Well, that's good. " I scared the shit out of Jason Louie when he was a Drew Estate rep. Oh, I'm sure. That was a good story.
Did he? See, I knew it could have happened. No, he didn't know. Oh, see?
I had advance warning. So we're in the hotel, and we're, you know, we're in separate beds. This time, at least. And, uh, man, I thought somebody was, like, hovering over me, like, was about to attack me or whatever in my sleep.
So I did, like, this. I launched out of the bed. " See, that might be a little bit rougher than just the random scream. And I'm pretty sure I scared the ever-living shit out of Jensen.
I understand that's why he got out of the cigar business. You know what? It's understandable. " He figured everybody was like that.
" Everybody's crazy. So yeah, I mean... How far in South Carolina do you have to go? What city?
I don't know. Did you give somebody money on the internet for a dog? I did. Oh, you're never seeing the money or the dog.
No, they're reliable. They've been doing it for years. Ripping people off? No, they're all over, there's like a Facebook group.
com? Yeah, WeRipOffDogs. Nice, nice, very nice. Okay, so on the trip, let's go back to the trip.
I think they were pretty, I don't think I'm getting screwed here. Nah, you're probably not, if there's a Facebook group, everybody knows that's official. If it's on Facebook, it's definitely real. It's definitely real on Facebook, just no fake news.
If you go there now, Facebook sort of shaded it out and go, this has not been, this is not real, so. No, it's not Donald Trump Tweets or anything. Come on. Anyway, we ate a lot of good food, we had a lot of drinks, a lot of rooftop bars in Charleston.
Really? Those are very nice. We had one night where it was a terrible meal, and then the next night was a very exceptional meal. And I explained to everybody at dinner the second night that it's the bad one we're all going to talk about ten years from now.
It's not this good one. Not this good one? No. There was a place called Johnny King's, I believe it was, JK Burgers, supposed to be a burger place, terrible, food was terrible, service was terrible, every now and then our waitress was some type of runaway or something who decided to tell us her life story, she lived in Vegas for seven days at one point in her life or something, I don't know, but the other couple was engaging the young lady and I'm just looking at Adrian going, just don't talk, we got it.
Yeah, I mean, you're being too polite, it's like, you know, I just ran away from home, like, all right, I'll take the cheeseburger. Right, I like the burger without the onions, please. My wife will have the one with the onions. And make it snappy.
And make it snappy, right. And as soon as she walks up, she takes her mask off at the table. What's the purpose? It's just hanging from her ear the whole time.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, you're going backwards. The whole purpose of the mask is when you get closer. You put it on, not off. Oh, my God.
I'd like to speak to your McManager, please. Oh, he was probably worse than she was. Yeah. Probably the lady that was limping with all the tattoos.
Oh, my God. I'm at the boss. Oh. Limping with the test.
But don't go there. Adrian got sick that night. Not throw up sick. She's sick to her stomach.
It wasn't from the drinking. It was from the food. Oh. Half my, let's see, my onion rings were burnt.
Oh. Very angry. You're very angry. It was terrible.
Huh. But the next night, we went to a place called 167 Raw. It was a seafood place. Yeah?
Where they fly in. I mean, I had the best clams I've ever had that evidently flew in that morning from Canada. Whoa. Special beige.
Canadian clams. Yes, they were good. They were delicious. Very fresh.
Still moving fresh. Huh. Very good. Apparently, there's a really good place in Destin, like a clam place.
Oh, is there? Yeah. Oh, I got this shrimp toast thing, and I asked Lee, so what's on the, what's the shrimp toast? And she starts talking about this locally made bread and something type of shrimp.
She said, I'm a runaway. No, no, no, this is a different place. I know, it's a different place. I get it.
I just wanted to throw that back. She's talking about, and I said, you know what? Stop it. You had me at local made bread.
I don't even know what that sauce was. You had me at, well... She goes, usually that's about as far as I get in the description. People say, just bring it.
Well, it's a, you had me at, well, it's a... Perfect. I'll take 12. You had me at, sir.
Oh, that's fantastic. I saw an aircraft carrier. There was an aircraft carrier on the air in the bay, and it was very nice. Nice little trip.
Yeah, it was a nice little four-day trip. We had a good time. Well, we missed you. Oh, thank you.
We missed you. I still did my social media posts from there. Look at you, you're a professional. Checked in every once in a while, see how things were going.
There you go. How were things? Check kept me fully apprised of everything that was going on. My wife had a surgery.
Oh, that's right. How did that go? It went well. It was Friday.
Yeah, it went well. Yeah. Something removed? Something fixed?
Yeah, she had like a, I guess it's like a fatty tumor on her toe. I was going to say, I think it was something with her foot. And it's just, you know, like, and it's on her big toe. And, you know, it's been miserable for years.
Oh. And she finally, you know. Decided. We got all this downtime.
I don't need this 11th toe. Let me get rid of this. You can't see it, but it's affecting the growth of her toe now. Oh, so it's in the toe.
Oh, yeah. Oh, not like on the side of or underneath it. It's like attached to the bone or some shit. Yeah, it wasn't fun.
So they like filleted that thing open? I don't know what they did. You didn't watch? It's all bandaged.
They didn't watch? No, they won't. They don't bring pictures? No, especially with the corona thing.
Oh, yeah, you probably couldn't even go in. Yeah, they won't take you pictures. They won't take you pictures, they don't want liabilities and shit, they're not allowed to do that, no pictures, no pictures, every surgery Adrian's had, I hadn't seen pictures, nope, no pictures, inside and outside pictures, I'm very pushy with the doctors, they have to bring me, I need some pictures, but, you know, she's stubborn as a mule as far as running around the house and stuff, and this is why I'm a little tired tonight, so, she's chasing her, so, like, Monday's the big cleaning day at the house, like, she goes fucking ballistic, on a Monday, that's not, my house is What's Saturday? Well, we have a lot of people over usually on Sundays.
Oh, that's right, yeah. Especially little kids and stuff, and you know. That's true. And they piss all over the place.
They don't know where the toilet bowl is. I thought the dog was pissing. Well, him, her too, yeah. So we clean all that, or she cleans all that, but, and there's no talking her off of that.
Like, that happens. Yeah, Adrian's that way too. Saturday, I just get out of the way. Right, so.
Can I help? No. No, you're doing that wrong. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, exactly. Right. So when she fell asleep, I started cleaning. Oh, good show.
I took and pounded out and handled the bathroom and shit, and then when she woke up this morning, I said, listen, this isn't going to be to your spec. Right. Exactly. Like, that was the beginning of the conversation.
Look, you're, you know, it's not at the same level. You're not eating off the floor, but there's no pee in there right now either. It's clean enough for this week, you know. So let's just.
I've seen you clean the bathrooms here. So like that, just hits everything, and then you take the mop in sideways, start just-- Pretty much something like that, yeah. Like, it's done. So don't do that.
And then I watched The Old Guard. Did you see The Old Guard? Sounds familiar. What's The Old Guard about?
It's a movie with Charlize Theron. Oh, yeah, yeah. Actually, I've seen it twice. You have?
I've already seen it twice. You liked it that much? " So, you know, I got to pause and answer the question, so, second time I watched it alone. Ah.
I like doing it because then you pick up more things. Oh. Review. Well, the fight scenes were good for me, but I, you know, the storyline was fucking vague.
It was pretty weak. I mean... Really? Yeah.
See, I enjoyed that. I thought it was a good show. I mean, obviously there'll be another one. How do you not know you're being sabotaged?
It was kind of my problem. Like, you're a fucking, you're an immortal soldier. Well, it happened quickly. You've been in the game.
Uh, no, no, no. " And then they went and did it. Oh, see? You have to watch these things with a little bit of, uh, I can't think of what the right term involved.
Yeah, I understand what you're saying. You have to suspend belief. Yes, yeah, for sure. I mean, you know, it's not really people that have been alive that long.
I mean, it's just, but like, you have to suspend belief within reason. Yes, but if they had not been screwed over, there would not be a movie. Yeah, but there could have been, I don't know, I think there would have been a better way to do it. Like, you've seen the Indiana Jones movie, correct?
Which one? The original Indiana Jones. Which one was that? Indiana Jones and Raiders of the Lost Ark.
No, that wasn't the first one. Temple of Doom was the first one. No, Raiders of the Lost Ark. Well, the Temple of Doom is a prequel to the other movie.
But if you take Indiana Jones out of, okay, it doesn't matter when it happened, but you know which movie it is with the Raiders of the Lost Ark. Are you actually looking it up? Yep. Oh, my Lord.
Raiders of the Lost Ark was first. Thank you. Wow. The Temple of Doom is a prequel.
It happened chronologically beforehand. Ah. But actually, though. But take Indiana Jones out of that movie.
Take Indiana Jones out of the movie. Yeah. It would have happened exactly the same way. Really?
The Germans would have found them. Because he wouldn't have broke the stick. They would have had the necklace. Right.
They would have found it and they still would have opened it up at the end and they would have all died. They all melted. So Indy did not change the story. Oh.
He just caused the delay in the eventual ending of the movie. Is that the one where you shot the guy? Yes. Do you know that was ad-libbed?
Yes. Because he had diarrhea? He was sick. He had diphtheria or diarrhea or something from eating the food and drinking the water there.
" So he just pulled out the gun. Well, thank you, Harrison, for not shooting yourself. Yes. Wow, that was the first half hour of the thing already almost.
It felt like Seinfeld. This story is way too big to start up right away. Let's see what we can do a quick one. We have 10 minutes here.
Oh, so it's only 20 minutes. Well, yeah, but still on all practical purposes. Here we go. This is a quick story.
Casa de Monte Cristo cancels the 2020 Tampa Cigar Bash due to the COVID-19. Yet another cigar festival has been forced to cancel due to the COVID-19 pandemic. As of today, well, this was actually Sunday, Casa de Monte Cristo announced it is canceling the 2020 Tampa Cigar batch, which has been set for October. The retailer delayed putting tickets on sale in hopes the pandemic situation improved enough to move forward with the event.
The event was expected up to 800 tickets, plus numerous people from the cigar industry, as well as additional vendors. vendors an email to customers on friday store said it had been closely monitoring the guidance blah blah see the well-being and safety of our guests associates and community is our top priority and given the information and guidance provided surrounding large gatherings we have to make a difficult decision to cancel this year's event the store wrote um it's an all-outdoor event too yeah was that coop from coop um i think this might have been half wheel oh half wheel this is the second event hosted by cats and my crystal that has been canceled this year the test of cigar The cigar festival was also canceled in June, JR Smoke in the Carolinas has been canceled, several other events geared towards cigar consumers have also been canceled in recent weeks, including, well, we don't want to say that because we'll get to that in a minute, which was said in Bromacraft, theirs was postponed Weasel Fest, Labor Day weekend, Memorial Day weekend, a separate event, the Cigar Heritage Festival held in Tampa's Ybor City neighborhood is slated for December. That has not been canceled yet. I'm starting to worry about football.
I read something, I know I didn't get, I just read the headline, but that Big Ten football had been canceled. Yeah. So that was canceled today. Yeah.
Oh. I mean, NFL. I don't think it's going to go. I don't know, man.
If it is, they're going to play to empty stadiums. Three teams have already said it's going to be empty. And like. They can't, they can't force, or they can't take a chance with the liability of people getting sick.
It's fucking crazy. Did you see happen either last week that school in Georgia that opened and the kid posted the pictures of the crowded hallway with nobody wearing a mask and stuff? Yeah. Nine kids in that school now have corona as of this morning.
Well, they had to have it before that. Well, yes. You know what I'm saying? That's true.
See, how does that work exactly? Is it you have it for two weeks or you test positive for two weeks? How does that work? Exactly.
Did they all show up last week and then give it to each other, and then suddenly nine days later they have it? Exactly. I don't know how that works. Who knows?
That's the problem. Nobody knows. I think that, look, you've got to open the schools. I know that you might not agree with that, but I feel like you've got to open the schools.
And you know, hey, Georgia was the first one to take the leap, you know? And the mistakes are going to be made, and people are going to make corrections moving forward, and that's kind of the process that we all deal with, right? I think it'll open, but it won't be open long. It's obviously going to open.
That's happening this week. Orange County, I think, started today. You think they're going to shut it down? I think they'll have to after a good 30 days.
Orange County started online today. Oh, was that what it was? Oh, it's right. They were doing online because...
So the teachers need to get paid. Well, yeah, right. The teachers union was going before a judge today at noon. I didn't hear what happened.
Oh. Because they don't think the school is making, is taking any precautions. Well, if you look at Georgia, obviously they didn't. I mean, it's like, hey, you know.
So, but that's okay, you know, you gotta make mistakes, and you gotta move forward, and it's gotta happen, man. As soon as somebody, as soon as somebody catches it and dies, everybody's in trouble. Well, and look, it's gonna happen. It sucks.
I get it, but we gotta keep making progress here. What if God forbid though it's one of your children? Oh, I know. I hope it's not.
Well, I certainly hope it's not too. But is it, are we at, somebody's gotta get it? So, I mean, what do we do? Well, I think that we gotta take risks to continue to progress in society, you know what I mean?
We can't fuckin' shelter in place for the rest of our lives. The suicide rate would be way too high. Oh, no. Yes.
Do your kids have to wear masks when they go to school? Yes. Mandatory masks. Smaller numbers, too.
Well, see, your private school, they can do that. Public school's not doing that. Well, I mean, you gotta figure that, what's the percentage of people, of kids that aren't going back? I used to know, I don't know the numbers now.
Let's say it's, I don't know, 30, 40 percent? Okay. Alright, so if your average class... That's probably a fair number.
So if your average class was 30 kids, now it's 20? Well, you're assuming every teacher's coming back. Let's say only, let's say 30 percent of the teachers don't come back either. Oh, I see what you're saying.
So now, less teachers, less kids, same amount in each room again. Hmm. Hmm. Plexiglas to kids.
Bubble wrap them. They can't breathe. Put them in bubble wrap. I saw a study yesterday about different masks and what works and what doesn't work.
The worst one is, and I forget how they test it, some type of laser thing to see what counts. I love it when lasers are involved. That neck gaiter thing is the worst one you can wear. Apparently it provides no protection at all, and all it does is then when you cough and sneeze, Because of the way the material is, it doesn't absorb or stop any of the fluid, it breaks it up into smaller particles which travel further.
I've been wearing that at the gym for the past week. Apparently that's not the way. If you can't get an N95, the double layer cloth things are supposedly the way to go. Yeah, the ones that I've been using have just been so fucking thick.
We took several of them with us for the trip because, I mean, we wore them, you know, everywhere, even out walking around. It was hot. Yeah. I mean, they get wet and sweaty and my face broke out a little on my cheek and stuff from, you know.
I would prefer like a Bain mask, you know, the Bain mask. I saw a guy, we went to Aldi yesterday, there was an older man with just the clear thing on. Maybe we should get that. But still, I mean, there's no seal anywhere on your face.
I mean, it looked like he was like gonna go paint somewhere. com or some name or something on the thing. And we bought, I bought us a pair of the ones with the little vent in it. They're terribly uncomfortable.
I tried wearing it yesterday. Extra layer on the inside that snaps in. Let's get the plastic one. Let's get the plastic shields.
You'll melt it because you'll put it on with the cigar and you'll just. You know what I'm saying? The hole just grows as it's getting hotter. You can drill a little.
Have Greg put a little hole in it for the cigar. Perfect. All right, 28 minutes. We got to take a break or it's going to shut off.
Oh, we lost six minutes last week at the end. I don't know when the camera stopped. Oh, good. So I apologize for that.
But we're going to take a break now, so we'll be right back. Hey, it's Mike, too. Want to be part of the show? com/thecigarhustlerspodcast.
We have tiers starting at just $5 a month. For $10 a month, you get a special show swag, and then you're eligible for the weekly secret show. Secret shows cover in-depth cigar reviews, behind-the-scenes information, and sometimes we just talk shit about people. Choose which tier works best with your budget and become an official show hustler.
Thanks for the support. Okay, and we're back! Heyo! This is episode 134 of the Cigar Hustlers Podcast.
All right, Michael, big news, big news happened when I was gone last week. Yeah? Big news. Tell me.
Nat Sherman shutting down cigar business retail stores. Oh boy, you're gonna bring up that one. That's the big story. Nat Sherman, one of the oldest names in American cigar business, will shut down his premium cigar business next month.
The 90-year-old company will close both its wholesale cigar business and the company's iconic New York City retail location. You figured that some deal would have been better than no deal, right? Yeah, I guess when the pandemic started, everybody just pulled their offers, from what I can tell. Ah.
Yeah, I guess when the pandemic started, everybody just pulled their offers. From what I can tell you. Ah. I can tell you that some deal would have been better than no deal, right?
Yeah, I guess when the pandemic started, everybody just pulled their offers, from what I can tell you. Ah. I can tell you. Yeah.
I can tell you that some deal would have been better than no deal, right? Yeah. I guess when the pandemic started, everybody just pulled their offers, from what I can tell you. From what I can tell from...
No deal. Yeah. But, I mean, they've been around for 90 years. That's a long time.
That is a long time. That's almost as long as this podcast. Pretty close. Yeah.
Pretty close. We're right up there. Leading what has become Nat Sherman's international final chapters these last nine years has been the honor of a lifetime, says Michael Herklotz. Yeah.
He did Abe's show over the weekend. Yeah. I've never seen, I've read interviews with Michael Herklotz. I've not actually met him, but I've seen him in person, whatever.
I've never heard him speak before. Yeah. He does not sound anything like I thought he was going to sound. Really?
Have you ever heard him speak? No. He sounds more like Sopranos. Really?
Yes. He's from Jersey. Like the Gabagool? Yeah.
It's kind of, yeah. I mean, I was listening to the show. I wasn't watching it. I was cutting the grass.
Yeah. Kind of like that. So what? I was very surprised.
But pleasantly surprised. It was kind of a little chuckle. He kind of reminds me, whenever I look at him, I mean, I've never met him either, I've seen him, but I've never met him as well, but you know, his pictures and stuff, he kind of reminds me of like a dressed up Marty McFly. Yeah, that's kind of the voice I expected more to have, a little more higher pitch, younger sound and stuff.
I gotta get back. Right, no, not the, hey, I gotta get back now. Yeah. Hey, yo, hey.
Hey, yo. Hey, I gotta get over here. See, VFB and Nat Sherman International in Press release, we delivered our earlier goals of reestablishing the legacy of Nat Sherman. I will be forever grateful to our employees, current and former, as well as our manufacturing partners who left it all on the field, left it all on the field, day in and day out to grow the business throughout the 90 year history.
I am equally grateful to the incredible retailers, wholesalers, distributors, and consumers who have invested in our products and enjoy them. Hopefully our premium cigars will live on in humidors of our greatest fans and appreciate it with fond memories of many years to come. Now, we don't carry those here. No.
But how do you think this affects the industry? I was curious, I mean, we don't talk about this stuff till now, but... How do I think it affects the industry? Because it's, I mean, it's one of the biggest names...
It is, it's a big name. in the cigar industry, and now all of a sudden it's gone. And there it goes. Do you think this is foreshadowing something to come?
No. I mean, the trends of things to come? Do you like the Rocky Patels and what's another iconic brand that everybody knows? I don't know.
I think it's a, you know, I mean, look, it's a sign of the times, you know, I think that, you know, smaller brands are making a lot of better products, and competition's vast, man, you know? Do you think that's what played into it? I don't think that that's the only thing. I mean, the Nat Sherman is, well, like a Toro Fuente, but Nat Sherman is...
No. No, no, no, no, I mean, that's still a current, let's say, hip brand. Well, Nat Sherman's more your grandfather's cigar. Yeah, I mean, you know.
I mean, they did all that rebranding and repackaging, and it just, it didn't, it didn't make the transition. How many guys do you know that are, I don't know, in their mid-30s, I'll go 30 to 40, right, that are smoking Roman and Juliet's? Other than the ones that come in here, I mean, it's not, you're right, it's not. It's all older guys, right?
Right, yeah. And those guys, you'll never take them off Romeo and Juliet, right? No, no, no. They want their...
Monte Cristos, Romeo and Juliet. So, you know, those brands have never done a good job of replacing their consumers that are getting older. Oh, I see what you're saying. They haven't picked up a younger crowd.
So, I think that Nat Sherman... They are a grandfathers, your grandfathers. Yeah, I think that Nat Sherman made a run for it, but they just couldn't adapt. They didn't work.
But I don't think that that was the only factor here, you know? Altria didn't want Nat Sherman cigars. They wanted everything else. Oh, I see what you're saying.
So they didn't maybe give it the love or the direction it may have needed to continue on. Yeah, you know, it probably looks better on their portfolio than it went under, you know? Chalked that off. They should have lost a suit and tie.
I mean, if you think about it, like, I think that that business would have been good for a lot of people running it. It still made money, right? Right. But it wasn't enough for Altria.
It wasn't enough. That's kind of what it boils down to. It wasn't really anything else. So, you know, the lease is almost up for the building in the townhouse.
They don't want to do all that shit. They're like, you know what? There's not enough money here for us. That's good for us.
Herklots came from Davidoff, which is another older brand. Yeah. But Davidoff, hmm, they're pretty well established. They ain't going anywhere.
Wow. Would you have thought Nat Sherman last year was going to go somewhere? Davidoff isn't making black and milds. Okay.
I see what you're saying, though. Right? Right. So, that's kind of, you know, they are all about premium cigars.
Nat Sherman was kind of playing the field, right? Or at least Altria. Right. Yes, and in the past it included a full revamp of the company's portfolio focusing on three traditional premium lines, which was probably what they probably should have come up with something altogether, but the Epoca, E-P-O-C-A, is that how you say that?
Sure, Epoch, Epoca, Metropolitan, and Timeless, as well as The Host, a sweet tip cigar that was produced by Abidoff, Honduras. And Timeless had its little moment in the sun there, very briefly. They did, it started to make a comeback, yes. And actually The Host, my wife used to smoke those, she enjoyed those.
" See, everybody's blaming everything on that, no matter what happens now. We need to revisit this on the Patreon, too. There's more. I feel like there's...
I need to... Due to the coronavirus pandemic, the Nat Sherman Townhouse is open only for curbside pickup, no final date. Well, it might as well be closed at that point, anyway. No final, because the draw was going in and having a cigar inside the townhouse.
And have you been to the townhouse? No, I have not. I've had invitations, and I even had a pass one time to get in, but no, I haven't been there. We'll have to speak more about the townhouse.
Yes. The final date of operation has been given, but the businesses are expected to be closed by the end of September. Yeah. Sad.
So, another 45 days. Man, you know... Herklad said on the interview, everything will be shut down, I think he said 90 days? The sound of the times, man.
The times, they are a-changing! Alright, the FDA tells court it intends to delay substantial equivalency for premium cigars research and to research premium cigars, Michael. Hey, we don't know what the hell we're doing, so... Right, the US Food and Drug Administration intends on reevaluating how it goes about regulating premium cigars, civically researching the potential health effects of smoking premium cigars and delaying substantial equivalency until its research is complete.
I guess they hope that tobacco fights corona thing doesn't happen. Tobacco Fights Corona. I don't know if it does, brother. All this was said in a four-page document submitted yesterday to Judge Paul W.
Grimm, the US District Court for the District of Maryland. FDA's plan is to allow for premium cigar companies to apply for a deferral of the substantial equivalency process on a case-by-case basis. Specifically, that's the reason I have this in bold print, the FDA intends to exercise its retained discretion by deferring enforcements of the pre-market authorization requirements for premium cigar. I mean, this has been dragging on for five or six fucking years at this point, I mean, I still don't know.
Holy shit. They don't even know what makes a cigar. It's just insane. It's the leaves.
We take the leaves, we put them together. It's, I mean, you know, I really feel like we should be regulating the shit out of the other vegetables that have high levels of nicotine. And we consume on, you know what I mean? What other vegetables have high levels of nicotine?
Ooh, you want me to Google it? Yeah. I don't want to mess it up. Did you see, uh, just Let me tell you this real quickly more about the vacation.
Did you see the story about the lady who was arrested in Myrtle Beach for having the thong? Yes, I did. Well, the local news was on the beach when we were there looking for people in thongs to interview because Myrtle Beach isn't far from Charleston. Excuse me.
You have a thong. How do you feel? Right. That's what they were doing, actually.
And they were standing there. Get the fuck away from me. It was Channel 4, but we didn't get to see the news story. But they were shooting Adrian and the other couple.
They were out in the ocean. They didn't have thongs on. But they were using them as background footage. I went up and spoke to the two young ladies that were doing the footage.
Oh. So, if you were watching Channel 4 the other night, and you saw two women and a man standing in the ocean, obviously not in thongs, it was my wife and my friends. You know, I really feel like you should have been in a thong. It would have been better.
I'm perfectly fine with it. I wasn't dressed for a beach day. I didn't realize we were going to meet on the beach. This kind of happened.
I had on shorts and sneakers. So you could have just taken like your boxers and just wedged them up there. Oh, I was just standing there smoking on the beach. Oh, okay.
Which I don't think was allowed either, but eh. How do you feel about smoking in your thong? Yeah. Nicotine.
Yes. Is an alkaloid found in the nightshade family of plants. Predominantly in nightshades. Tobacco and in lower quantities in tomato.
I don't like tomatoes. Potato. I like potatoes. Eggplant.
Not a fan. And green pepper. Yeah, those are okay. I feel like we should roll all those up.
Yeah, how about the red peppers? No, just the greens. Do you know there really is only a green pepper and the red, yellow is just levels of- It's just bullshit. Levels of ripeness.
Why? Eventually, they all turn green, as I understand it. Son of a bitch. That's right.
The red ones are sweeter. I like the red ones. More disappointment. That's 2020.
Just disappointment. All right. As we reported exclusively early last week. Yes.
Espinosa cancels the 2020 La Zona. Exclusive. Another popular cigar event has fallen victim to the COVID-19 pandemic. As today, which I don't know exactly what today is, but it was not the day we released the story.
We already released it. Espinosa Supreme Cigar has announced that it is cancelling the 2020 installment of its La Zona Palooza event. In an email to consumers and media, the company said that it is agonizing over having to make the decision. Ooh, so agonizing.
We know this is disappointing, but we do, because we were going this year. Yes. Terribly disappointing. We know that this is disappointing, but we are fully committed to the safety of our staff, attendees, and local residents, adding that the decision to cancel was made at the last possible opportunity to find a way to make the event happen.
Espinosa holds the event in his offices in Hialeato, Florida, a suburb of Miami, as well as in the surrounding areas of South Florida, which have become a hotspot of the COVID-19 pandemic. As such, the company said it could not hold the event in good conscience. I understand Jack was losing sleep at night. He was- Don't do it!
Don't know what to do. Oh my God! Particularly if it meant that a member of the company or the Lozona family could become a victim. Erik doesn't need to get any sicker.
He's still working. He's got that heart thing now. Oh, that's right. Now he's- Kind of a big deal.
Yep. Underlying conditions. There you go. That was what I was looking for.
While the in-person event is off, the company is planning to announce a virtual event that will be a replacement for it. The company will be announcing details at the event on August 15th. Oh. Which is next week.
Should we call them then again? Hey! No, he already said that they're releasing that to the real media. We are real media.
Coop said it. Oh, that's true. The second notable cigar consumer event to be canceled or postponed in the last week or so as Romacraft, they're in every, notice they're in every news story now. I mean, Charlie loves them.
Romacraft Tobac declined to postpone its Weasel Fest event, oh, decided, sorry, they didn't decline, they decided, which has been slated for the upcoming Labor Day weekend until Memorial Day weekend in 2021. Oh, a little side note, Sean put up, our friend Sean Coleman, lightweight heavy, he just put up a video on Facebook, if you have not contacted him about what you want to do with your ticket, You're running out of time. Uh-oh. And if you decided you wanted to buy more cigars, he needs your credit card information as well as your order form.
So there you go, Bob. We got you. I got you. Oh, wow.
Deep. He's my friend. Espinosa Cigars made another announcement, Michael. Another one.
Another. Yes. If it's not Roma Craft, it's Espinosa. They're just dominating the media right now.
Espinosa Cigar is releasing its first exclusive cigar to Benny's Beverage Depot. Yeah, I saw that. What is Benny's Beverage Depot? Exactly, the answer's in the name.
Called the Expo. Benny's Beverage Depot is getting the Expo. Their huge account up north. Benny operates 42, oh, look at that, 42 locations in the Chicago area and maintains an online store.
The Expo pays homage to the 1893 World Columbian Exposition, better known as the Chicago World's Fair, that was held in 1893 1883 to commemorate the 400th anniversary of Christopher Columbus's arrival in the New World. Now we're tearing down that statue, I feel like we should go after Benny's. No, don't go after Benny's. I'm just kidding.
Please don't go after Benny's. Please don't go after Benny's. The Expo is also part of Benny's four-star society series, playing homage to the flag of Chicago of shop exclusives. Oh, they have four shop exclusives.
Ooh. That's... Jeff Mutey's doing better than them, I guess. Produced it.
He definitely has more than four. At one time. This is all at one time. Oh!
Producing Eric Espinosa, the Zona Factor, the expo is wrapped in a Mexican Capa Negra over Nicaraguan binder and fillers, the cigar comes in a one size, a 6x52 Bellicoso, can we get one of these, two of these? Yeah. You think so? Sure.
I'm still waiting on the glow-in-the-dark turtle. The turtle. The turtle. The optimistic turtle.
Yes. The optimistic insomniac turtle. There you go, that was the one. The cigars will be available in a 10-count butcher paper-wrapped soft pack.
Oh, that's the new thing now, just like the Frog Juice. Well, yeah, for one, it keeps costs down, for two, you know, I mean, you do production on small amounts with boxes, it makes shit. 95. 50 of Frog Juice.
Yeah. Seven doll hairs. Six doll hairs. I am incredibly happy to be able to work with Vinnie's on this project.
Who's incredibly happy? Our key account manager, Richie Otero. Oh, he's so happy. This is a nice guy.
And Vinnie's own Jack, whose name I cannot pronounce, I will not even try Jack, I'm very sorry, looks like Spethman. Do it. Spethman. Spethman.
Really brought this project together and I'm really excited to bring our brands back into both the Chicago area and Illinois, commented Erica Espinosa. Espinosa and a press release. Pinions might be under, I mean, with all the riding, if they're in Chicago. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
You might have trouble. You might have trouble. You might have trouble. Eric, release information, a press release, Michael.
Oh, a press release. I feel like you should do a press release when you get new glasses. Hey, I just wanted to know, I updated my lenses. I updated my lenses, Eric.
Press release, Cigar Housers Podcast now has new glasses. At a glance, here is a look at the Expo of the Espinosa, the Expo by Espinosa Cigars. The Expo. It's a Mexican Capa Negra wrapper.
You already said that. Filla Nicara, I'm kind of a origin. You already said Mexican Capa Negra. Whatever that means.
So it's San Andreas? What does that mean? What does it mean? All right, Michael.
I have the hottest cigar brands in America. Oh. As decided by Cigar Aficionado. Oh, so that's complete horseshit.
Yes. But, would you like to guess? Let's see if you can guess any of it. Okay, all right, let me see.
Do you have my pen? Where's my pen? Here's the pen. Okay.
All right. Rocky Patel's on that list. Yes, he's number six. Okay.
Let's see. Who else? Davidoff is on that list. Number seven.
You're going the wrong way. I need to go back the other way. Okay. Oh, these are specific cigars, but we will let you go, because they just arrived.
We're telling Davidoff, so. No, these are brands. These are brands. Alec Bradley's on that list.
No! Oh, no Alec Bradley. No Alec Bradley, no Alec Bradley. Monte Cristo's on that list.
Yes, number 10, Monte Cristo. Padrón's on that list. Padrón 1964 Anniversary Series. Okay.
Okay. That's the number one. Yeah. Damn it.
Arturo Fuente is on that list. Number two. Number two Arturo Fuente. Did I say Roman and Juliette yet?
Because that's on that list. No, and it is not. Oh, my goodness. Not on the list.
So how many do I have so far? You have one, two, three, four, five. You have half the list. I have half the list.
Half the list. Half the list. Let's see. Half the list.
It's not going to be Booth. It's not going to be Roma. It's not going to be who else pays. It's our aficionado.
Let's see. Yeah, think big money brands, Michael. Yeah, I know, I know, I gotta go, uh, um, oh, come on, wow, but, all right, go down the list, go down the list, yeah, you're hurting my feelings, wait, wait, wait, wait, give me, give me a hint for the next one, jar my memory a little bit, nine, number nine, oh, Drew Estate, more specific, Liga Privada, there you go, all right, Liga Privada, number nine, all right, um, We carry the other ones here. We do?
Oh yes, actually, we carry all the ones that are left here. We carry them all here. We carry them, yes. Interesting.
All right, the number three cigar, Michael, is the Fuente Fuente Opus X. But I said Fuente. No, you didn't. You said Arturo Fuente.
Yeah, that's the same brand. Apparently not, and this has a separate listing. Fuente Fuente Opus X. Thanks.
Number four, Liga Privada. Number five, La Flor Dominicana. Ooh, LFD. LFD.
Number six is Raquel Patel. The number seven is Davidoff, oh, two number sevens, it was a tie, so there is no number eight, tied for number seven, the Oliva Series V, number nine, my father, and number 10. Your father's in it? Yes, my father.
Good job. I should have said the Cuban Cowboy. Did you forget that? Joaquin?
Yeah, Joaquin? Yes. Joaquin? 10, Montecristo.
Maximum Accessory Man. Cigar Insider. I'm sorry, not aficionado. Oh, okay.
Yes. All right. We're at 47 minutes. We have two more stories, and we have a Listener of the Week, Michael.
We do have a Listener of the Week. We have a Listener of the Week. Okay. All right, Michael.
A man loses his penis to infection. Doctor built a new penis on his arm. On his arm? On his arm.
Just in case? No photos, apparently. There's no photos. I did search for a photo.
A British man who lost his penis to a severe blood infection now has a new one built on his arm. Malcolm McDonald, I'll give you a dick, but it's gonna be on your arm. Do it. able to add an extra two inches to his manhood is now awaiting final surgery to transfer it to its rightful place, reports say.
The 45-year-old had a perineum infection that worsened into sepsis, and soon he saw his fingers, toes, and penis turn black. Oh, my Lord. Oh, any appendage. It's not good.
According to the report to The Sun, he was completely gutted when his penis fell. Oh, it fell off. In 2014. I lost my dick.
Testicles were still intact. Woo. Kept those. That's where the virus sits.
Oh, that's probably why. The virus. He reportedly nicknamed his appendage Jimmy. Oh.
And can now find the humor in the situation while he awaits the final procedure. Save Jimmy. Of course, it is mad having a penis on your arm. McDonald told the British newspaper.
It's maddening. Not even, am I, am I, does he pee? Like, I gotta take a leak. Gotta take a leak, I'm gonna take my sleep off?
Uh, Professor David Routh at London University. So many questions about the penis on the arm. College hospital was, uh, expertise. How does, oh, this guy's an expert.
If he goes to pay, does he pull out his dick? How does he have sex? Does he just elbow bump, like we're doing now? It's on the elbow?
It's on his arm somewhere. I'm thinking elbow. I would like to see. It's got to be on the hand.
Professor. No, it says it's on his arm. It's like Wolverine or something. Shicking.
No, his fingers fell off. Oh. God. This is sad.
This is a sad day for this man. And you're here just teeing off on his. Professor Dave. No, I was intrigued by the story.
The headline caught my eye. Let's see. Jimmy lives, pal. Let's see.
This doctor is an expert in penile construction The man built McDonald's new penis out of a skin graft from his left arm. Oh, it's on this side. A tube and a hand pump are said to allow for a mechanical erection. Like a bicycle pump?
You know, I feel like he can sell that, and women would be like, "You know what? You can fuck me. Go ahead. " I want to see what's going on.
I'm kind of curious to see where this goes. The man already has two children, so he wasn't worried about sex. If you don't worry about sex, why do you need the penis? What's the whole purpose, then?
Why are we putting it on the arm? When McDonald was due for the operation to transfer the new penis to the groin area, he was reportedly unwell and was pushed later date. Oh, the coronavirus. So wait, is he going to grow it on his arm and then they're going to stick it back down there?
The man hopes to have... Yeah, it's getting moved. It's just growing on his arm. Ah.
It's not permanently on his arm. He's growing it. What's that on your arm? Something on your arm, sir.
Yeah, that's my penis. That's my dick. Ignore the dick. Ignore the dick.
The man hopes they had the final surgery by the end of the year, he said. Oh, wow. Interesting. He's terribly upset.
All right, Michael. We don't usually do politics, but we're going to back. Oh, God. Here we go.
We would like to throw our support to Anne-Marie Schuster from Schuster's distribution, cigar distribution in Germany. Really? Yes. She's running for the third election district.
In Germany. In Germany. In Germany, yes. Of course she has our support.
It's not only in times of crisis that we need a tribal force that is committed to the freedom of the individual and does not lose sight of the importance of family and the middle class, she says. So, Anne-Marie, we'll put up a picture right here. Anne-Marie is running. See, look, that's a great picture.
Wow, nice and fucking messed up. Well, it's printed. One page did not print. Do you know where I have the man's name?
Anne-Marie Schuster. All right, then we have a list. So the Schusters are the people that handle the distribution of the Wunderlust in Germany. The Romacraft portfolio.
So, of course, Anne-Marie has our support. Anne-Marie has our support. If she'd like to come on the show and talk about things. It's for the Americans.
But if she does, it has to be all in Germany. If you can get them to mail in the vote and send it this way, we would vote for you. More than ready to vote. Yes, 75 times.
Exactly. Without question. Exactly. Well, now, because I have this man's name, I'm staring at her face.
All right, go ahead, hit it. All right. Listener of the Week. Listener of the Week.
That sucks. Is Orlando, how do you say his last name? I don't know. Cartagena?
Yeah, probably. Cartagena? Yeah, that sounds good. He was, did he listen to the show?
Was he a fan of the show? He may have listened to the show. He had been here before, I believe. He has been here.
He's been here at the shop. We met him at Lajero, Lajero. Last year? Yeah, tobacco shop in Atlanta.
Okay, then I probably did not meet him. Well, he's gone, he, every time we've done an event, he's been up there. Oh, okay, so I probably did previous years then. Yeah.
But he passed recently from Corona. From Corona. From Corona. He did.
As I understand, he worked for Delta Airlines. He did. He was a father and a husband. He had two kids.
Our hearts go out to his family. I think they were divorced. Did he like her? It seemed like it was amicable.
Our hearts go out to his ex-wife too. Yeah, he was a sweet guy. This sucks. And he really was a good dude.
So, and this is what kind of frustrates me about all this shit, you know, is like the Facebook posts of the conspiracy theories and, you know, it's just so fucking ridiculous. You don't want to wear a mask, you don't want to do, you know, things like that, or whatever the case may be, you know, it's easy for someone to make all those goddamn statements until somebody you know dies. dies right and then all of a sudden you know those people flip the script and like hey no you should be doing the right thing you know what i mean like don't make it about politics and all that other bullshit man i mean let's try our best to save some lives here you know nobody really knows 100 percent of what we're dealing with and and now we lost a good guy at least a guy that i know and i'm gonna miss him you know um so yeah our hearts go out to the family of orlando and um You know, we're gonna miss them. So, do the right fucking thing.
Wear a goddamn mask. We'll give him one more. You know? I wanna get you a finger gong.
Wear a mask. You know, I'm not saying don't live your life, 'cause I'm gonna still, I'm still gonna live my life. You know, I still go to the gym and all that other shit, and you know, and I'm for my kids going to school, but... Just fucking do the right thing, man.
Just do what you can to be... If I get sick from this... Yes. Right.
I at least want to go out thinking, well, at least I practiced everything that I thought. Right. Did what you could for the safety of others. Was right.
Right. You know? So, maybe you should think about that. And if you're one of those people that does the posts, you know, I hope that maybe you consider fucking wearing a mask and just calming the fuck down a little bit, you Facebook fucking warrior.
You know? Wow. It upsets me. It upsets me that it's taken over every single fucking social media feed.
I don't even post as much anymore because I'm just so tired of it and seeing it. I only like to post the entertaining things or just whatever, me smoking a cigar or whatever the case may be. But even the bomb goes off in Beirut in Lebanon, or whatever it was. " I'm like, yo, you know what?
I mean, there's a time and a place you want to have a real conversation about shit like that? It isn't a fucking meme on Facebook. I mean, 150 people just died. Shit is a mess in that country.
And you're gonna argue about 9/11? I mean, come on, man. So, sorry to get a little dark on you, but, you know, I'm gonna get a little dark when people that I care about die. Right?
Can't wait till you do the show after I pack. It's gonna be so nice. How do I hit the button? I mean, hire a monkey.
I gotta hire somebody? Oh, no. Okay, get a monkey. Okay.
Maybe I can train the new dog. Ooh, he's got to be on the show. Oh yeah, it's totally going to be on the show. Do you have a name?
I do. What's the name? You really want to know? The Rock.
No. You're never going to guess. Dwayne. You're never going to guess it.
No, because your name's going to go, I mean, because one's Fluffy and one's Falcor, so I mean, who knows? And this one falls. And Fluffy is not Fluffy, and Falcor does not look like a dragon, so. You know, a curly-haired, 70-pound mixed dog is definitely not gonna, you would never think this is his name, but his name, you wanna know?
Sure. Wait, wait, wait! Should we do a contest where people guess the name? I just started to say it.
Yeah, but I cut you off, I didn't even get it. Okay, so if you would like to guess the name of Michael's new dog, #michalsnewdog and then the name. Ooh, Michael's new dog. Michael's new dog.
Mikey, we'll do Mikey, and Michael's too long. People like Hans, but you'll get Michelle's new dog. Be hard to find. Mikey's new dog, and then put the name.
Okay. So, and then the winner, we'll do something for the winner. Where do they do it on Instagram, or on Facebook? Yes, on Instagram, when I post the show tomorrow morning.
Okay. Alright. And maybe there'll be a better name. Oh, no.
No, not a better name. This name is happening. Alright, you can tell me once we sign off, because we've got to sign off, or it's going to go off anyway. All right.
All right, guys. This is my episode 134. Thank you. See ya.
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Hi, I'm doing-- I'm Hoostoe Raw. Yeah, we just don't have to do a single, uh, single podcast ever again. Perfect. I'm good, Mike and Mike.
How are you guys doing? The Hojo, the-- Hojo! It's the Hojo! He didn't even let him fuck it up all the way.
I couldn't get past Hojo! I don't even have to try to hit the record. He's not even going to try. We're going to cover a lot of ground here, Mike.
All right. Try to keep up. That's a sign of a good podcast. It should be like four cigars when I walked in a door.
All right, end this.
Show Notes
This week more shenanigans as we find out that England can now grow a penis! Only one cigar event left this year to be canceled! and we back out first political candidate ! Now we are big time!!
All this and so much more on this weeks show!
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