Episode 86 Mr. Mark Gordon

Episode Summary

Episode 86 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast welcomes longtime shop regular and listener Mark Gordon of Deltona, Florida, who "won" the grand prize at a recent Pete Hernandez event — a seat on the show. Mark is also a Patreon supporter who just had the podcast's logo (the "ACHP" microphone mark) tattooed at Virtue Tattoo in Ormond Beach, which the hosts spend a good chunk of the episode ribbing him about. The trio open with the aftermath of a hurricane that never actually hit the Florida coast: closed post offices, delayed Month Club shipments, sales tax deadlines, and neighbors too lazy to take the plywood off their windows.

For industry news, the hosts cover a Halfwheel report that Belgium's El Gusto (Augusto) cigar magazine has been shut down after 12 years under Belgian tobacco advertising law, with fines reaching into the hundreds of thousands of euros and two remaining Belgian titles, Aroma G and Robusto, now on notice. They then pick apart a "top cigar influencers" chart circulating from Northwood Humidors, which ranks brands like Padrón, Drew Estate, and Rocky Patel by Instagram following, and argue about whether a brand or a retailer can be an influencer at all — landing on Halfwheel's Charlie Minato, Coop, and the Cigar Dojo as the more legitimate media voices.

Mark then takes the show's "five questions." His favorite cigars include the shop's own Warbear, the Tatuaje Brown Label series, Padrón, Ashton, Arturo Fuente Opus X, and Foundation's The Tabernacle, and he's smoking a rare pre-release Warbear sample — "Letter A," Surrounded by Champions 2016 — that he's been saving for years. He'd share a cigar with Winston Churchill (or Benjamin Franklin) and, in the fictitious category, Superman, and credits his old scoutmaster with his best piece of advice.

The back half covers shop and show business: an upcoming Diesel event with Justin Andrews (whom Michael met in Estelí, Nicaragua), the Carlos charity raffle that raised roughly $1,500, customer-service horror stories from cigar shops around the country, a Facebook "toxic workplace" post gone sideways, and podcast ranking updates across Podbean, Stitcher, Player FM, iTunes, and YouTube against Cigar Authority and Cigar Dave. Mark closes with genuinely useful Patreon feedback: he wants behind-the-scenes footage from the hosts' factory trips down south — the rolling rooms, the tobacco, the blending sessions with Skip and Esteban — not just finished product shots.

In This Episode

1. 01
   The Hurricane That Never Came
   Eleven days of shop chaos, closed post offices, delayed Month Club shipments, and boarded-up windows for a storm that missed Florida entirely.
2. 02
   Meet Mark Gordon
   The Deltona listener who won the grand prize at the shop's Pete Hernandez event, got locked in the store years ago, and just got the ACHP logo tattooed.
3. 03
   Belgium Shuts Down El Gusto Cigar Magazine
   A Halfwheel report on Belgian regulators forcing the 12-year-old consumer cigar magazine off newsstands, with sister titles Aroma G and Robusto next in line.
4. 04
   Are Brands Really 'Influencers'?
   The hosts dismantle a Northwood Humidors influencer chart ranking Padrón, Drew Estate, and Rocky Patel by follower count and debate who actually influences cigar smokers.
5. 05
   Mark's Five Questions
   Favorite cigars including the Warbear and Tatuaje Brown Label, plus Churchill, Superman, and the best advice his scoutmaster ever gave him.
6. 06
   Shop News: Diesel Event and the Carlos Raffle
   Justin Andrews of Diesel is coming in for an event, and the charity raffle for a customer raised around $1,500.
7. 07
   Cigar Shop Service Horror Stories
   Mark's experiences being ignored in cigar lounges across the country and why staff engagement makes or breaks a retailer.
8. 08
   Patreon, Podcast Rankings, and Listener of the Week
   Show stats across Podbean, Stitcher, Player FM, and YouTube, Jessica Baranski as Listener of the Week, and Mark's request for factory behind-the-scenes content.

Brands & Cigars Discussed

Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.

Transcript

Welcome to episode 86 of a Cigar Hustlers podcast. This week we sit down and talk to Mr. Mark Gordon. Mark won a grand prize here at the shop last week and now he has to sit and talk to us.

Everybody sit down and enjoy the show. It'll be up here soon. Here it comes. audio is on yes video welcome to episode 86 86 cigar hustlers podcast we have joined us today Hey, Mr.

Mark Gordon. Yes. He won a contest, or he lost a contest. Depends how you look at it.

He won the contest. Well, maybe he lost it. That's why he's on the show. Oh, are you kidding me?

He's excited to be here. I'm extremely excited to be here with you two lovely gentlemen. See? He's so quiet.

We've got to open him up. Oh, I know. He kept trying to talk to me out in the lounge. He goes, save me for the show.

Stop talking. I want to hear it. I want to talk about my kids. I want to talk about cigars.

No. No. Stop. We don't talk.

We don't talk. My kids don't talk on show days. Yeah. Yeah.

So what do you got today? Anything good? Uh, we have a Listener of the Week. Do you want to, we always start with that?

Do you feel like we should always be starting with that? Or should we end with that? It's just the first thing on my list. Whatever, we can put it in the show update section.

I guess the Listener of the Week is kind of fun to do at the beginning. Whatever. Nope. Hit it.

No, we're not doing it now. Okay. You want to do some industry news, some world news, talk about Mr. Gordon?

What are we going to talk about? I mean, let's talk about some life shit before we get into this industry news. No, this is it. My life rules are on the show.

I don't know anything but the show. Okay, but we had a hurricane. No, we didn't have a hurricane. Exactly.

Fuck exactly. We didn't have the hurricane. So, it was supposed to come right up our ass. Considering we didn't have it, there's a third show we've talked about the hurricane.

Because we talked about it a little bit on Secret Show #2. Well, guess what? It consumed us for 11 days of inconvenience. I got tired of waiting.

You keep looking at the camera. For nothing. I've been told to tell you to stop looking at the camera. Oh, really?

People are saying you look too much. Well, they said that we, well, somebody else said prior to that that we should be looking at the fucking camera. It depends who you ask. You know what?

Well, we're not talking, Mark. You should go ahead and fill. We're just going to sit down. Oh, okay.

I see. So, what was the worst part about this non-storm for you guys? Here's the worst part about the non-storm. Well, other than the chaos and bullshit that we experienced prior to.

My wife's panic that the house was going to disappear. Everything is fucked up now at the store. Yeah, yeah. So, you know, Month Club is behind, right?

Got to pay taxes, right? Got to do sales tax, got to handle all this shit. And, like, you know, you get consumed with, okay, are we going to be open today? Are we not going to be open today?

What's our next move? Did you prep your house? You know, like, I mean. The mail didn't run for, like, three days.

The mail didn't fucking run, which sucks. You know, so you got to reach out to the customers. Hey, just so you know, we won't be shipping until Thursday. It's not our fault.

But, you know, USPS is closed. See, I get this US mail update every day. " Do you really? Every day.

It shows me a picture of my mail and any packages I'm getting. How do you get that? You just sign up on the website, the USPS website. And they email me every day what I'm going to get in there?

Every day. So, junk mail, doesn't matter. Yep. So, the Patreon thing that I got from you guys, boop, it had a little picture of it, had the address, everything.

That's cool. But I got that update during the storm, and they weren't gonna deliver, so I was like, I was excited. I was like, ooh, I can get my Patreon package from the Scar Hustler guys, great. Well, guess what?

Didn't show. It didn't show. And I'm sitting by the mailbox, I got my table chair out there, just waiting. Smoking a cigar, drinking a bang energy drink.

Yes, drinking my Sourhead bang energy drink. So they tricked you. They did. And then the next day there was nothing, which there was no mail.

What happened to the sleet, rain, snow, dark of night? Wait, the mail always delivers? Yeah, no, no, no, not available. Now it says no.

I did get a FedEx, though. Yes, as part of your Patreon tier package, I believe your tier three, you get the autograph. Oh, we have it this way. The autograph, it did say black and white, but we decided to go with the color.

That's very nice. Just because you're a Patreon doesn't mean that's why you're on the show. No, no. You're on the show.

Because he didn't, you can actually buy that level and get on the show. - But no, he won a contest here at the shop. - Right. - Yeah, and you know-- - Pete Hernandez.

- I was very excited. - The Pete Hernandez event. - And you're a good friend. - I mean, you've actually-- - Oh, he's action all over the table.

- I know, I'm very sorry. - Look at this. - Don't tell him that 'cause then he'll start doing the wipey, wipey thing. - Yeah, don't wipey, wipey.

- Yeah. - 'Cause it makes a lot of noise. - So, but, you know, you've actually been locked in the store before, right? - Yes, I have.

I went to the bathroom, I came back, and there was a note on my chair. - Really? It says, "I have locked you in the store, I'll be back in 10 minutes," or something like that. It had to be great.

" This was back in the early days, the early days, when we didn't have people. " I just sat down, smoked my cigar, and just waited to get unlocked at the store. Waited to get let off. That's how you know you're a good friend.

When we have you at that level, we can just lock you in. Can you turn the key and get out? I mean, not the key, but the little... I think at that time, we had the deadbolt on both sides.

Oh, did you? With the key? Yeah. I was truly locked in.

Truly locked in. Yeah, I was totally fucked. Wow. Where'd he go?

I have no idea. Probably the post office. Yeah, yeah. Post office, get breakfast.

Bank, something, yeah. Yeah. He didn't have people. Prostitute.

Let her out of the trunk. Something. He got to open a dead body. So, yeah, so congratulations for winning.

Thank you. Thank you for having me. Mr. Mark Gordon of Deltona Florida.

Sounds like a fast car driver. He does. Or at least brother. Or brother of.

yeah yeah could be yeah could be um how about what about this this new edition that you have you have straightened your arm because it's burning today i need to put something on it but it's burning so what is that you know i got we're going on our third year yes starting september is when we joined patreon two years ago so it starts our third year wait i'm not patreon sorry pod yeah podbean so uh i decided it was it was time you made it official i made it official the uh a chp With the little microphone, oh, it's all red too. Now that is a level of dedication. That's it, we're locked in now. A Cigar Hustlers Podcast Tattoo.

That's right, anyway, I'd like to get one, I can send you the graphic. That's nice, and then what else will you do for them if they do it? I'll thank them and send them some lotion upon it. You'll thank them?

I don't know, what are you gonna do, what do I get for doing it, Michael? Your wife said I should never have to pay for my cigars again. I like your wife. First of all, you walk around here stealing my cigars anyways.

You're like, oh, after three days. Oh, by the way, there's one on the table, somebody left for you. oh yeah i heard about that i'm excited about that one that's nice another day it's mine just so you know i this is my first day here i was off the weekend i wasn't here either actually i did come in on saturday ridiculous i'll take that home with me all right i could have smoked that right now could have and you'll forget it's there so you got a tattoo yes yesterday at uh virtue tattoo in ormond beach very oh a shameless plug i didn't even mention that As for Miguel. So the hurricane was terrible.

It did nothing for us. It did nothing. Except fucking. It hit pretty hard up north, I guess.

Except time suck us. And it's still going, if you want to understand, it still hasn't really hit land. Yeah, I don't think that ever really does. No.

But north or south Carolina got hit pretty hard with some flooding. Yeah, they're not as prepared for it as we are. No. No, it's just another day.

Now I'm worried about looking at the camera. There's another one coming, too. There's another storm. Allegedly.

Give me a fucking break. The last one didn't come. Well, the good news is, a lot of people in my neighborhood hasn't taken down the wood yet. Just leave it up for another week.

You'll be all set. They're just lazy. Don't start drinking water. That's fucking lazy.

Oh yeah, they're just lazy. Well, but it gets, what you did at your house, it gets really dark. It's good for sleeping. Yeah, you don't get up.

Yeah, you don't get up at all. Like, what time is it? It's noon. Holy shit.

It's still dark out. No, the wood's still on the window, honey. Is that how you get your kids to sleep in? No, they don't care.

Just on their windows. His kids don't care. They don't care. They harass me at all hours of the night.

It just doesn't matter. They're up playing Spider-Man. m. He's like, hey, I'm thirsty.

What the fuck? Okay. Get a drink. So I walk him to the fridge, get him a drink and stuff.

I'm like, all right, good night. And then as he's walking, he's like, the TV's off. I'm like, yeah, no shit. I turn it off.

It's 1 o'clock in the morning. I turn it off. I'll go turn it on. Let me go turn it on for you.

So I'm like, motherfucker. That doesn't wake the bigger one up, does he? Because they're in the same room now. No.

No, he doesn't. He's up top, so. Okay, so I got a good story to tell you. I've been waiting to tell you this story.

All right, all day? No, this has been a couple weeks. Oh, we do a show every week. I know.

All right, go ahead. I've been holding this one. So Mr. Gordon is terribly excited to hear this story.

As I said with the hurricane coming, where was I going? I was going to Volcano Bay. Yes. Right?

So we went, and it was fucking dead. There was like hardly anybody there. So in like the afternoon time, I'm hungry, but like it's just my wife and I, So, in order for, you either, everybody A, eats as a unit, or, you know, you have to, you know, divide parenting or whatever the case may be. So, we're in like the kids section.

You don't take your can of chicken to Volcano Bay? No, no, no, I go pub subs, Publix. That's right, I'm a professional. " So, I go to eat, and like, there's this really, there's like the whole family next to me.

I mean, like this, we take the table and chairs at like Volcano in like the kids section. Right. So, we're sitting there, or I'm sitting there, and this family's over there, and there's this adorable little kid. Like, I mean, he's all of two.

Right. And, um, I guess the mom had taken him to go down his like first slide. " Like she almost missed it. She grabs her phone, hauls ass over there, like she's super excited.

And then I see her again, and she's with the little guy and, you know, holding his hand and really excited and all this stuff. And I was like, oh, I said, hey, you're a really nice grandma. You know, that's – I go, is that your first grandson? She's like, yeah, thank you.

And I was like, okay. So then I just kept eating my sandwich, and I'm like, oh, that was a little weird. Now you're the creepy guy. So don't – you're jumping ahead of the story, goddammit.

I knew you were going to fucking do that. So I'm walking back after I ate my sandwich. And I'm heading back to my wife and kids, and I'm like, oh, shit. So, you know, I kind of have that moment of clarity.

And I walk up to Brittany, and she goes, well, so what happened? I go, this is the weirdest thing. I was like, you know, I saw this whole family, the grandma, and I was really excited. And I was like, oh, you're a really good grandma.

And she kind of, like, looked at me weird. And I was like, I was the creepy fucking dude hanging out in the kids section by myself. Eating a sandwich. Eating a sandwich.

So, um… Did you go by her several times with your children after that? So then my wife says to me, she's like, oh, they probably packed their shit and left, for sure. So then she goes back to go eat, I guess, or with one of the kids, and she goes into the lunch bag, she opens up, she goes, oh my god, somebody ate my sandwich! So that they could hear that, and then get freaked out and leave.

So, yeah, so that was pretty classic. It was good stuff. That was my Volcano Bay adventure. Funny.

Did they pack up and leave? I don't know. I didn't see them after that, so. So they must have.

We saw them, man. We saw the whole thing. That big muscle guy over there. He's gonna sit over there by himself now with the slides.

With his hand in his pants. With the kids. Eating hot dogs. Very suggestively.

Oh, this podcast is a serious turn. It's like an hot dog. Serious turn. So, yeah.

So, yeah. So, that's what you get for saying something nice to somebody. All right. Don't talk to people in public, Michael.

I can't help myself. You're a very big man now. You scare people. And you're tan, so you look like you're Hispanic, so you're going to scare people.

But, like, I'm super obnoxious. Like, you know, even walking out of the gym, I fucking say hi to everybody. I'm like, hi. Like, if they don't look.

So, I was leaving the gym, and, like, you know, I guess I was leaving around. I just need to follow you around with a camera. Oh, my God, it's classic. So, you know, I leave the gym, it's this long-ass hallway, so every time, you know, people are like this, they look down, they're trying to avoid you, I'm like, you know, good morning, or I'm like, you know, hey, how are you?

Go to fist bump. You know, like, I just, you know. High five. I don't stop.

So. Hey, you're looking swole. Hey, you look good. " And she goes, "Oh, my God!

" I was like, "Oh, Yeah, have a nice day, I'm like, fucking pay attention when you walk in. Can I have a cookie? You know, I know, yeah, I was like, give me some nice shit. Mark had a little story about coming here today.

You said you spoke to your boss, you started to tell me outside. Yeah, so I get your message last Thursday, I think it was, as soon as the evening. " Grand prize. Yeah, I won the grand prize.

I did. So, I was like, hey. We're a big deal. You got a tattoo.

I mean, I know. I know what the problem is. It hurts right now, too. Yeah.

So, I mean, this is a serious thing. This is a big deal. It is. I was excited.

When you get one, it'll be a big deal. That's never gonna happen. I'm not saying no. Because you have none.

I'm not saying no. I'm just saying that's not gonna happen. You can get a little smaller. Yeah, no.

Maybe like on your cheek or something. On your butt cheek. Yeah. I'm actually, this is gonna be our last episode.

And I'm gonna start my own. I'll still do my own. I'm going to do my own road podcast. I'll do my own.

Just put a number two underneath it. I'll just change the name as long as it's A-C-H-P. So he's like... A continued, helpful podcast.

Poor Mark is trying to tell his story. Sorry, go ahead. So he's like... If I don't interrupt him, it's like he's not on the show.

That's true. Not normal. " so but it was just it was just kind of a funny interaction between he and I I'm like didn't even like are you excited how'd you win nothing it was just like can you go you worked on the work done in time yeah I think I can do that that's far okay sure I saw all the reports yesterday yeah just in the parking lot well that's majority of people though right unfortunately they don't give a shit about you they don't even think of like oh wow that's awesome you know he does it just he and I have an odd interaction sometimes so he gets in a He's in a certain mode, and he just doesn't. See, now that you're on filming videos.

Oh, no, I can talk. No, I love my boss. Oh, no, I can talk to him. No, I talk crap to his face all the time.

He's a great guy. It's great. No, I've actually known him for like 27 years. We're boys, I hang out all the time.

No, he and I have a different relationship. I've known him for 20 years, well before I started working with him, or working for him. So, he gets in a different point of frame. Work for him.

Well, whichever. Yeah. Work with him, work for him. It's a partnership.

All right. All right, let's get into the... Get into it? You want the industry news, or the world news?

I mean, Antonio Brown joining the Patriots is definitely world news. That's sports. We don't do sports. That's a big deal.

We don't do sports on this show. Okay, because they look scary. Unless you and Mr. Gordon like to talk sports, I'll just sit back and watch.

They looked scary last night without Antonio Brown. Just saying. Don't even know who he is. Yeah, it wouldn't surprise me.

I'm guessing... Antonio Brown's podcast? He's an African-American? Yeah, he's probably the best wide receiver in the league.

Wow. Throws the ball or kicks the ball? Oh my God. Kicks the ball?

That's it. We're moving on. How many times does he go around first base? James Winston looked terrible, too.

How many times has he made it past first base? Did he make one of those free tosses? I have a lot of shit around me and I will throw all of it at you. You're so violent.

Yeah. Such a toxic work environment. I'm sorry. Bring out the words from people, I guess.

I apologize. So go ahead. Hit me with the industry news. All right.

Report on Half Wheel. El Gusto Magazine has been forced to close their doors. The Belgian magazine has been forced out of the magazine stands by the government. Oh, really?

After 25 episodes, the government in Belgium has decided, oh no, after 12 years, this is the bitter end of the magazine, Augusto was distributed in Belgium, the Netherlands, and Luxembourg. It was published in both the French and in Dutch, but the government decided, oh, you can't do a magazine about tobacco, after 12 years, so they've shut the door. See? What country we live in.

It's amazing. Business is also allowed, but the Augusto magazine is for sale on newsstands and not a B2B magazine. They could put him in jail for up to a month to a year with a hefty fine of 80,000 to 800,000 euros. That's like, what, five dollars?

I don't know, but it sounds like it sucks, but it doesn't really concern me, unfortunately. I thought it was interesting, after 12 years of publishing this magazine, finally they go, "Oh, no, wait, it has tobacco in it? " They probably just discovered it. Probably.

There's two more cigar magazines in Belgium. Those are Aroma G and Robusto magazines. And they are on notice. And they are on notice, that's right.

Both magazines are published twice a year. Oh, man, that's why, because they have two more. Okay, I have a chart put out by Northwood Huminors. You ever heard of them?

No. It's one of the top influencers in the cigar industry. Oh, really? I thought we would go over that and see.

Well, last week a lot of people were talking about, actually it was Coop talking about a lot of lists and things that are going around. Oh, I saw this shit. Coop did this post? No, not this particular one.

I found this list separate from his stuff. Oh. But it has the top Instagram influencer as being Padrón Cigars. Yeah.

99,000 followers. Cool. Drew Estate Cigars, 81,000. Uh-huh.

K. Patel, 73. Yeah. See, they're all brands, though.

Right. Is that really an influencer? They're not people? They're not people.

See, I don't think influencer would be a person. Influencer would be a person. Influencer would be a people, not a brand, you would think. Yeah.

So I thought we should do a list maybe for next week. Of what? The top influencers that have been on the show. Or our top ten, well, maybe not ten, maybe top five favorites.

I feel like you haven't worked this out yet. I have, but I forgot this part and I didn't include it in the list. No, you should have wrote that down. Write that down.

I don't know. Okay, how about the top cigar retailers? Go ahead. Northwood Humidors?

Of course, that's their list. Right. It's a big surprise. We're number one.

DW Cigars? You heard of them? No. I haven't either.

Cigars International? So, you're saying this is complete shit? Yes, that's what I mean. All these lists are complete shits.

I thought we could just do a complete shit list, too. So, we should just do one as well? Certainly. Hey, okay.

Okay. We're not gonna do that. It's a horrible idea. I try to get stuff for the show, and you just poo-poo and everything.

Well, that's ridiculous. Well, tell us another story, Michael, about your trip to the Universe Studios. Listen to what you just said. Listen to what you just said, Michael.

What? The top influencers there are not accurate. I thought they would stimulate some conversation between the three of us, but no, you just want to go, no. Well, I'm just saying that we are all in agreement that that is complete shit.

So I thought we'd talk about who you think the top influencer should be. Who do I think a top influencer is that's not in the suit? Yeah, an influencer you would think, as Mr. Gordon said, someone who's not in the industry, not a brand.

not a brand not a retailer correct just a dude just a guy in the media or not in the media we could go with media might be a little easier well yeah i mean that's you know i mean it's probably it'd probably have to be half wheel probably be charlie charlie and then coop would probably be number two yeah yeah what is dojo right in there for you oh my god so you just They always want me to have everybody hate me. Everybody hates you anyway. Well, you're not ranking them, you're just saying. I mean, you know what, they have to rank because they make these cigars, and people buy them.

Right. Well, Dojo would really be the only one who makes his, who also sells cigars. So, yeah, because they're kind of a retailer. They're a retailer.

They're kind of a unique thing. It doesn't really count. Just saying. They're a retailer.

It's just advertising. Well no, Dojo sells cigars. But they sell them through, like, Famous and shit, right? They don't sell them themselves.

Yeah, I guess you're right. They do. They have a contract with Famous, I'm guessing. Yeah.

All right, that went nowhere. Yeah, this has been a cool story. All right. What else you got?

Well, let's take a break here, then we'll come back. We'll do World News. Well, we're at 23 minutes. World News, I have a show update, and then that's it.

All right, break. All right, we'll be right back. Well, that worked out well. Because my phone rings.

Okay, and we're back. So, if you're going to make this like a grand prize for Mark, then we should do something for Mark. What should we do? Well, I got my cool guy autograph.

But that's just your paycheck. Pants him on the air or something? No, I mean, but like, you know. That would just be awkward for everybody.

Let's ask him a couple of questions. Well, I thought you would. I mean, we normally ask, you know, the people that are on the show a whole bunch of questions. Go ahead.

So, Mark. I'm an open book. Go ahead. So, Mark, tell me, what is your favorite cigar?

We could do the five questions. Oooh. Okay. He loves throwing the papers.

He does. I normally throw that way, but I don't want to hit you in a face with the paper. Paper cuts everywhere. Oh, jeez.

So, okay, so before we get into what's your favorite, do you want to ask that question? We'll just do the five questions. All right, what's your favorite cigar, Mr. Gordon?

Right, and I'm not, one of my favorite cigars has definitely got to be the Warbear. I really, and I'm not saying because, oh, I'm here, I really, one, when you guys released that cigar, that was a great cigar. I really enjoyed it, it, I, it's a phenomenal cigar, burns nice, it tastes great, draws nice. Um, the Tatuaje Brown label, I like, like those a lot.

Right. I used to smoke a lot of Padrón, but I don't know if it's just trying out so many different other cigars, you've introduced me to a lot of stuff that I normally would never have smoked. I used to smoke certain brands, Ashton, Opus. Yeah, which I still smoke some Opus X now and then, but some of the boutique stuff is great.

" and just taking a blind shot on things, but definitely the Warbear Tatuaje Brown label, that series is good for me. I'm trying to think of something else that I, you know, smoke regularly. I like to, you know, switch it up so much, depends on where I'm at and how long I have. Right.

So now, you listen to the show a lot, right? Yep. Yep. Yep.

So then you kind of know what the questions are. I remember a few off the top of my head, yeah. Okay. So, like, you've had a fair amount of time to really ask yourself some of these questions.

Possibly. During the home game version of the Cigar Hustler Podcast? " Really. Because we haven't had that many new guests, and we do a lot of shows now.

It's just the two of us. Yeah. So, I mean, I'm going to have to remember 05, I don't have them written down anymore. I really, did you get like hammered last night or something?

No, maybe I should have, maybe that would have made a difference. You're just kind of dragging ass. I told you guys, you guys should drink while you're doing these. Make things way more interesting.

" No editing, just put it on and just let it fly. " Were we even talking into the microphones? What were we thinking? Thank you.

Was the microphone on? Where are my pants? Well, we don't wear pants for the show. You know that.

Yeah. All right. Well, one person, living or dead, would you like to share a cigar with? Winston Churchill.

See, he had that ready. Yeah, he had that ready. Okay, no, no, no. Okay, one fictitious person would you like to share a cigar with?

Do you want him to explain Winston Churchill? Oh, he can if he'd like, certainly. I feel like he wanted to. Well, no, just that's one of my favorites.

See, you know what I'm shutting down. One of my favorites. Are you out to get me today, Michael? No, it's one of my favorite historical people is Winston Churchill, Benjamin Franklin, you know, huge iconic people like that.

So is there a look that you're going for that could stay in a similar look? White, fat guys. White, fat guys, basically. Old, white, fat guys.

Old, white, fat guys. Old, white, fat guys. Oh, well, that's not too hard in the cigar industry. Find an old, white, fat guy that smokes?

Nope. Throw a rock and hit one. Yeah. That's it.

No, in his room, he's got a pretty good chance of hitting things out there. That's a great explanation right there. There you go. What one fictitious person would you like to share a cigar with?

Fictitious person. What old, fat, white guy that's fictitious with a cigar? Pantacloss. Pantacloss.

Just imagine, he has quite the humidor. He probably does, yeah. He's got elves. He goes and robs all the manufacturers as he's giving gifts.

Fictitious. Country of origin, North Pole. Grey tobacco. Rapper.

The Latino elves are just rolling over. I'm a fictitious person. Yep. That's right.

You know, I'm not really sure. That is a tough one. I'm thinking, like, Superman or, you know, someone like that. But I'm like, you know.

He could light his own cigar with his ex with his laser vision. There you go. Cut it and light it. There you go.

Same tool. Superman. Yeah, probably Superman. I think that would be neat.

Ask me how Lois is doing. Does Loss let you smoke at home, Superman, or do you have to go to the Fortress of Solitude? Every time. I'll be right back.

I'll be right back. Whoosh! He's gone. Smokes really fast, whoosh!

He's back. Alright, what's the best piece of advice anybody ever gave you? Probably from my old scoutmaster. Don't be on the cigar house.

No, probably from my old scoutmaster. No matter what they think about you, if you don't respect them, it doesn't matter. It's true. Yeah.

That's good. I mean, I mean, even if I respect them, even if I respect them, it doesn't matter. Well... See, that's three questions.

What's the fourth one? Well... Best piece of advice, favorite of the guy, whatever, whatever, whatever... The last one is...

Point of contact. What? " Because, evidently, this one's dying now that I got the tattoo. It's just a lull, Mike.

It's just a lull. This is just the episode, the ratings were down last week, I'm a little depressed, everything's all fucked up from this goddamn hurricane, we're very close to getting it back together, you know? Another couple of days, yeah, yeah, we're gonna be fine, Mortimer, we're back. Mortimer, what's Mortimer?

You never watched Trading Places or Coming to America? Yes, with these random movie references that you do. How do you, you didn't know that? No.

Oh my god, just randomly say the name Mortimer and we're supposed to know what it is. We're back? How do you not know that? I've seen the movie several times, now that you've mentioned it, I know what it's from, but just, you know, Mortimer, it's not like it's, you know, Star Wars or something where, you know, you didn't say the Force is with you or something.

" None of them, nobody. I guarantee you that two of our listeners, two of our two listeners... Two? Yeah.

Both of them? I don't think both of them will. No. I'm gonna load the deck.

I don't think so. You need to tell. Text John right now. I so know that.

I'm trying to figure out what that other question is. Wow. This is a fucking very professional show. Favorite cigar?

Yep. Who would I fight? Who? I think it was that.

No, we said who would you like to smoke a cigar with? Who would win in a fight? Who would win in a fight? No, no, that's Michael's favorite question.

Fictitious? Regular? I have no idea. Wow.

Wow. See, we don't even know what they are. Fucking embarrassing. Out of context, you.

Okay, listener of the week. You did them all. You did them all. Did we?

Yeah. Best piece of advice. Favorite cigar. Best piece of advice.

Fictitious and regular people. That's your four. Fictitious and regular. Best piece of advice.

Yeah. Favorite cigar. Oh, I guess you're right. Yes, you're right.

Yeah. You know what? It's so easy for you. You just, you know, you know what you're doing.

It just comes right out. Oh, it's too quick. You're like, wow, it was so easy. There's definitely got to be another question.

Hmm. Huh. How about that? I was going to talk louder back here.

That was supposed to take one. Lean back in the chair. So we got Justin Andrews coming out from Diesel. Oh, do we?

Yeah. When's he coming? Oh, for the event? Yeah.

Oh, so it's at the end of the month. You know Justin? I think I've met him before. Yeah.

Actually, I think it was one of the events here. I might have met him. I don't think he's been here yet. I was going to say, I don't know about him.

He's a good dude. I met him in Esteli, in Nicaragua. He's a good guy. He's working really hard, you know, trying to do his work.

Those new diesels are popping up on social media everywhere. Yeah. So, that's good. So yeah, we've got that coming up.

We're going to do the Carlos Raffle. This Friday. This Friday. This Friday.

Right. Which will be nice. Lucky winner. I mean, we had a lot of people online.

Did you really? Yeah. Sold a lot of tickets? So there's a good chance we'll be shipping that.

Wow. You know. It's gonna be a hell of a package. Yeah, it's a hell of a package.

So. Be like a show order going out. Great cause. It's gonna help them out.

Yeah. I think so too. I think we raised like $1,500 bucks or so. Oh wow, that's great.

That's good. Yeah. That's a good number. Should help them out a little bit.

Yeah. What? I think you're talking to yourself, I feel like I'm talking to myself, oh yeah, cool, yeah, that's nice. So I think it was a neat idea for you guys to do that, to help out a customer, help out a good dude.

Yeah, and then Mark just tries to... Yeah, I'm trying to take over from Paula. He's your new sidekick. Yeah.

I'll show him which buttons to push and then I just don't have to do it anyway. And you got that tattoo for nothing. So you get the tattoo and then it's dead? Is that how that works?

You said you're shutting down the show. You're very tan lately, look at you. Dude, all I do is go to the fucking water parks. With nobody there, and eat subs and hot dogs and some little kids.

Eat subs and scare old ladies. Scare old old ladies. I saw that picture Justin put up of you on the tram. Yeah.

It looked like you barely fit between those two poles. It was a tight seat. It was a tight seat. It was a little cramped.

But somebody's got to be able to whack the kids. You got to be, you know, you got to have that range. You got to be in both sections, so. And they had you packed up like a pack mule.

Yeah, you had to be right in the middle. A lot of equipment you had, uh... Well, my wife's fucking pregnant. I understand she is.

I forget with people with smaller children how much you actually have to take with you somewhere when you do something. Well, look, man, I'm bringing my own lunch. You know what I'm saying? Well, I'm covering that with the kids.

Right. You know, that's happening. Got to have my own beverages. I mean, I'll stop by the bar and stuff, but...

They have a bar at the... They have amazing bars there. Really? Yeah.

So they let you get drunk and ride the rides? Oh, yeah. They encourage it. This is at Volcano Bay?

Yeah. I had no idea. I didn't go there. I think I might have to check out Volcano Bay.

They had nice tiki bars. Expensive drinks? Like 12 bucks, 13 bucks. I can't take my wine, it'd be too expensive.

Nah, it's fine. You pre-game. Water bottles full of vodka. You can like tailgate, you park, you park in the parking lot, get a little shit face, and just roll in.

Oh, that's a great idea. Yeah. Drown or break a leg. There's just no, like the smoking sections, they're terrible.

Oh, but they have one? Yeah, they got a couple of them. It's next to a dumpster. Yeah, that's pretty bad.

There's actually like a little smoking section and then there's like this area where you can put your service animal to shit, like this little turf thing. Yeah, it's right next to the smoking section. Have someone clean up every dog. Can you take the service animal down the slide with you?

You can't once. Yeah, until you get caught, I guess. This animal is required to be with me at all times. At all times.

I might have a seizure and the dog needs to be right with me. This is the straight down slide, I don't know if this is a good idea, but my horse, my pony. My miniature pony, yeah. My emotional support pony has to be with me at all times.

As much as my wife and I travel, I'm surprised I haven't seen any weird animals on flights. I caught, we caught that dog, that huge golden retriever. Just sat on his, the dog was really cool. Oh, that's right, the flight you were in.

Yeah, I just reached over. You're not supposed to touch him. I'd pet him, and then I'd pet his dog. " You're not supposed to touch the animals.

The service animal thing is such bullshit, come on. Well, there's service animals and there's comfort. The comfort is complete crap. Emotional support.

I joke with my wife that we need to start a fake group of, you can register your animal. We'll just have an Excel spreadsheet. There's a Facebook thing you can do. Oh my gosh.

They haven't even registered anymore. We flew Allegiant to Colorado like a month ago. That was a month ago. And the things you see on Allegiant is amazing.

But I was surprised I wasn't seeing like squirrels and stuff like that. We were getting one time a lady had written in Sharpie on the dog's collar to support animal. Wow. And argued with the people that whether or not it was or not.

Dog wouldn't even sit when she told her to sit. The dog didn't listen to her at all. But the dog got on the plane though. Oh yeah.

It was on the plane. He made the trip. He made the trip. Had his own seat and everything.

Well, at least she did that, yeah, I don't think she paid for the seat for the boat, oh, never mind, I don't know, she didn't look like she could afford her seat for the boat, or her own seat, that's why we fly Allegiant, I know I love Allegiant, Michael's above Allegiant, I love Allegiant, there's some like membership that you can, I fly United because it's easier, they have more hubs, like they have more access points, usually, that is true, if I roll with You know, like if they're going down to Nicaragua, we wind up on the same flight. Right. Well, that's just easier. I don't think a Legion flights to Nicaragua.

Yeah. They only have the one plane. If they did, it would just be the one day a month. Right.

Like, so how long are you down for? 45 days. Well, how come? That was the only way I could get back.

It was either that or Burrow. Yeah, so. Oh, donkey ride all the way down. All right.

Can we do the show update now and get out of here? Yeah. This is just dying. Oh, you're having a tough time.

You're not excited. I mean, like you got the tattoo and like, I don't know what's going on with you today. He just throws it all on me. See, Mark, it's all your fault.

It's all my fault. I mean, I had great stories here. Look, you know. You had one story.

I addressed a hurricane. I addressed a... He's going down his list. Scaring people at the volcano bay.

I scared people at my gym. And I addressed your tattoo. That counts as my story. Oh, that's why they call you the Taliban.

We call you the talent man. That's it, that's why I'm the talent, yeah. 'Cause I bring it all out of you. You bring it all.

Except not today. Not today. You're like, I gotta go. All right, well, um...

Good, okay. All right, the Listener of the Week is Jessica Baranski. Oh. There you go, Jessica, you're Listener of the Week.

She has to have the little thing. So, Jessica is a... We don't have a Shop of the Week again, so... Yeah.

No shops play the show, apparently, anymore. They gave it up? No, but Jessica is a friend of the show. Yeah, and she's been a friend of ours.

Your family friend since you were like three. Yeah. In a lighter? She calls me the talent.

That's where it came from. Oh, yes. Are you jealous now, Mike? I think that's what's happening.

Because he's called the talent? No, I always call him the talent. So, yeah. Oh, this, this, this, this intemperant Zeichar life is amazing.

I won it in a contest. You did? On the, uh, Weasel Team 6 on Facebook. Team 6 Facebook page.

Oh, I didn't get the backpack. You didn't win. You didn't win. You know who got?

Fred Rui, I think, won the backpack. Adrian got the backpack. Oh, I thought Fred won one, too. " And then I was like, "Yo, Skip said, hey, it's not coming right away.

" We had to get all these orders came in, right. I was like, "Calm your tits, Adrian. " Let's do another live, another Facebook live. But he's a good dude.

He is, and he listens to the show too, so thank you. So I like to give him a hard time. Look at the camera, though, thank you. Thank you.

So, you know, if I'm going to break your balls, you know, it's usually because I like you, right? I think you're a good dude. Aww. So, that's why I break your balls.

It's when you talk behind someone's back, then there's an issue. Yeah, I mean, that's complete horseshit. Which brings me to my next one now, just kidding. Like, talk shit about somebody?

I heard you talk. No. Go ahead. I'll confirm it right now.

No. I was talking about me. You talked bad about me behind my back. Oh.

About you? Hold on. What are you yelling into your face? No.

Right to my face. Yeah. That's half the fun of coming up here is just messing with each other. Does Michael abuse you?

Well, that. Because it's toxic work environment. So he did this post. Go ahead.

Might as well do it. I did this post on Facebook. I saw somebody did something about a toxic workplace. How to know you're in a toxic workplace or something.

I didn't even read the article. I don't think you would know if you were. Well, I didn't even read the article, but I tagged Mike in it as a joke, and he got all been out of shape last night. I was like, did you read the fucking article?

Did you read the article? Are you saying it's a toxic work environment of the show? Okay, it says, "A toxic work culture is forcing high-performing people to quit," was the highlight. Well, I mean, it's not high-performing, so how can it be more toxic?

So my first thing was, I'm like, wait a second, hold on. So, like, I instantly go, and I'm like, okay, well, wait a second. Maybe I'm a horrible person. So let me reach out to Mike and be like, hey, am I a horrible person?

Like, you know, I'm looking for some feedback here on some self-awareness shit, right? And he's like, oh, you know, ha, ha, ha. I'm like, did you read the fucking article? Because it says flat out, it's like people that micromanage.

I'm like, I don't fucking micromanage anybody. I'm the exact opposite of that. You got all upset. Yeah, I was.

So I took the post down. I apologized. Let it sit there and bleed. Fuck it.

Everybody was going, oh, I work at a place like this. I mean, it was getting a lot of play on Facebook. It was. I mean, none of our employees did because they'd be fucking fired.

It's a toxic work environment here, god damn it. Right to work state. Come on. You're out of here, pal.

No, but we got a good team. I think that I do a good job. It is. Everything is fine here.

You've got a nice group that is growing here after some departures from other employees. Yeah. Things are coming back into place. I think so.

Yeah. I think so. Young Jacob is doing a good job out there. Young Jacob is doing a good job.

So. He just got his key today, I believe. Yeah. So this place will be empty tomorrow.

I've definitely been in, I mean, one of the great things of being able to travel, or I used to travel a lot, was getting to go to a bunch of different cigar shops. And I cannot tell you how many times I've been to a cigar shop, never being acknowledged, never, like, no one wants to help you. It's just kind of like they just stand behind the register, like, yeah, just give me your money and get out, you know. I can't help with a, just get it yourself.

Yeah, down there, you get that all the time. It's in the room. And it doesn't matter whether it's a little cigar shop or a big cigar shop. I've been to, you know, they've seen it all over the place.

Right. So, I mean, I've sat in bars and it's like a bar and cigar lounge and you sit there and you're waiting. for a waitress or someone to come by like can i get something right like i'm right here i'm i'd like to spend some money please yeah i'm thirsty i'm getting the bourbon no it's terrible man that's no absolutely no and i've never gotten that you know you have great staff here we beat them well rightfully so you start them start them early they're fine try our best to keep it as toxic as possible no but you're right i mean you know you get some bad eggs you move through them You're trying to identify him, really. Absolutely.

Like Dave, Dave Rebidow. He was last week's Listener of the Week. I know, I know, he listens. It was funny, when he worked here, he would listen while he was working in the morning.

Yeah. But he would listen without headphones, so I'm hearing myself talk as he's walking around. " What's going on? It's so weird.

Voices are normally just in my head. That's right. Can you hear me talking too, David? Is it just in my head?

All right, we've got 1,900 subscribers now on Podbean. Nice. We are still number two, but Cigar Authority is only ahead of us by 890. Oh, we're gonna get you.

We're getting you. We're coming. We're coming. On Stitcher-- It's a podcast that's not about cigars in the cigar industry, and we're gonna beat you.

Just for the record. Just a matter of time. Yep, that's right. They're number one, though, on three other platforms.

That's okay. Well, we'll just peg them down one at a time. That's it. Boom.

And then we'll move to the next. On Stitcher now, we're number seven. Oh! It's up from 12.

Well, and when did we start on that? Stitcher? That was one of the original ones, I believe. Oh, shit.

I mean, never mind. Podbean funnels out to so many places, it's even hard to know. But on Player FM, we are now the number three show. Ooh, shit!

Behind Cigar Dave is number one. Yeah. Cigar Authority is number two. Uh-huh.

And then there's us. Is Salt in the Smoke above us in any of it? No. Just for the record.

I can't even find them on any list anymore. They're hard to find. I don't know. I don't know where they're in.

Who's on that show? No, no, I heard that Danny was on there once in a while or something. Oh, hmm. Yeah.

Interesting. It's kind of a big deal. Kind of a big thing, I guess. Oh, on iTunes?

We're the number 17 show on iTunes. We don't do well on Apple. I don't know why. 'Cause Apple's stupid.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. See, that's what happened with the bang. My favorite is Sourhead.

Tastes delicious. The phone just went off. Would you please tell him? Shut it down.

- Please tell 'em apple does not taste like-- - Apple's great, I'm kidding, apple's great. - It does not taste like diabetes. - I love apple, it doesn't taste like diabetes. I was gonna ask you something.

Damn it, I just got sidetracked. - Well, we'd like to welcome Norway to the Cigar Hustle Podcast family. We now have listeners in Norway. - Yeah.

Hey, what's going on with the hot ticket guys? How are they doing? - I don't know, they don't show up on the-- I don't know, I mean, you can hear them on all the other shows that we're on, and they have a lot of Instagram followers, And they have that really nice new website, but I don't see them on the list anywhere above us. Well, I guess it's cigars, though.

Yeah, they're cigars. Well, see, there's a difference between cigar-related and cigars with an S. I don't know why there's a difference, but you get a whole different list of shows if you put an S on it. So, like, we're a Cigar Hustler podcast and, you know, Cigar Authority, Cigar Dave, so those all show up on a different list than if you have cigars.

But see, theirs is called the Hot Ticket Podcast, so there's no mention of Cigar in their title. Gotcha. So, they might just be on a, I don't know, culture list or hobbies or something, I forget even which, we're in different categories and different providers, it all depends on where they want to stick us. But if you have friends in Kazakhstan, we need listeners in Kazakhstan, Mongolia, Pakistan, Iceland, Papua New Guinea, a lot of Bitcoin in Papua New Guinea apparently, A lot of Bitcoin traders on their Instagram.

Huh. Ecuador. Sounds safe. No extradition.

Peru. No extradition. Bolivia. Invest today.

And Chile. So if anybody has any friends or knows any relatives in any of those, one, two, three, four, five, ten different countries, that'll pretty much lock us into the world domination. That's it? That's all we need?

Well, there's all those little tiny ones in Africa that I'm not even sure if they have internet, I don't think we'll ever get most of those. All right. So, unless we can find some more missionaries that are in different areas. Alright.

That's it. That's all I got. Who said I shouldn't be looking at the camera? I don't know.

Oh, we have 117 subscribers on YouTube now. No, no, I don't remember. 117? 117.

We took quite the jump after last week. Oh, man. Everybody was bored because of that hurricane. I bet you 17 of them are in Florida.

Probably so. Probably so. Because it was originally 107. I checked again this morning.

117. Boom. That's since last Thursday. Because we're moving on up.

You know that one? Moving on up. Oh, you know that one. That's the Jefferson's.

Okay. I did get that reference there. Weezy. Let's start calling you Weezy.

Wow. You can call me George. I'll be George, you'll be Weezy. All right.

You got anything else? No. I hope this is all you thought it was going to be. It is everything.

We just lost a list. Patreon fucking gone. So, you know what, let me ask you. I don't know what happened.

You know what, let me ask you about the Patreon. So, what do you think of that so far? I think you, it's good that you guys started. It's good that you guys started, I'm glad you guys did, because when you originally were talking about doing a podcast and I had said YouTube, because I had friends that do podcasts on YouTube at the same time, you're like, eh, we're going to start just doing the podcast.

I think it's great. Patreon, the one thing I don't like about that type of thing is they can shut you down instantly, just like you said about the cigar magazine overseas. Oh yeah, over in Belgium. If they don't like what you say or what you're about, they just pull you, you're done.

And that's not just Patreon, that's other places like that that do those kind of things. I mean, they can pull you anytime. So I'm glad you guys are doing that, I think it's awesome. I jumped on, I was like, you know what, if I can support the show directly, I think it's a great way for your listeners.

And especially user engagement, you guys do the secret show, the two that you guys have done already I think are funny, and it gives, you know, you want to be a part of that click, okay, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this tier, and you get that little extra. So what do you want us, is there anything in particular that you want us to, since you're a customer, a patron of the Patreon, is there anything that you want to hear on the Patreon? Do you like the reviews? Is there something else that we should be doing?

I mean... The reviews would be good. I like the reviews. When you go down to South America, I would do, if you guys could do recordings down there at all, obviously not to this extent with all the gear and stuff, but if you guys could do stuff down there, I would love to see what you guys see when you guys go down there to your cigar stuff.

Because I see the product, okay, great, and I know it's in the store, I don't know, but what goes into making that? Like, this cigar that I'm smoking, this was your, this is the number, or letter A. Oh, yeah. I've been holding on to this.

So you're smoking a road A. Yes. This was, so I was like. He showed it to me and I was like, I have no idea what that is.

Right. That was the original sample. Yeah, that's what he had said, right. There was A and there was B.

Yeah. And you guys were well guarded about which brother was backing which one. Right. And I was like, and I don't know, maybe a year ago, I saw it in my humor.

I was like, I'm going to say, I paid that for a special occasion. So when I went home today, I was like, I know what I'm smoking. I'm taking that, I'm taking Surrounded by Champions 2016. And you're gonna walk out and be like, what a fucking wait.

Oh man, I should have waited for like my third-born child or something, jeez. But I would like to see what you guys see down south. I think that would be any kind of behind-the-scenes type thing. I think that would be a lot of fun to see.

I mean, I see what you guys do here. Right. But what goes into making this? Yes, I've seen pictures of other companies doing their marketing stuff, but what do you see?

What goes into making this cigar? I go there, I talk to Skip, I talk to Esteban, I say, let's try this. Yeah, but take some footage while you're doing that. Yeah, but do you sit down?

What kind of room are you in? Are you in the rolling area? Are you pulling tobacco? Like, what do you see?

I'd like to see that. Alright. Okay. I might give you an extra dollar.

But I'd still like to see it, though. I mean, I'd give you an extra dollar if you did that. I think that when you get to a specific level, then, you know, we have you come down there, and you bring the camera, and you can record all of it. Right.

We're gonna take a trip Thursday to Cigar Life in Lakeland. We'll do a secret show in the car. Ah. So this week's secret show won't go up till Friday.

That's cool. So we'll do--because we can record-- And record with the phone in the car. Cool. Let's see how that disaster goes.

Yeah. Yeah. This is good. This is good.

See? We really came back from this. This is an excellent podcast. They're all excellent.

They are. The fact that we flounder every once in a while makes everybody happy. Oh! You know what?

I forgot to tell you. We got a minute and a half. All right. Well, then take a break.

Take a break. OK. We'll be right back. com/thecigarhustlerspodcast Find all your show swag needs.

Yeah, speaking of slapdicks, I think I've been challenged to mention the Cigar Hustler podcast every time I'm on another person's podcast. So I've been accused of not supporting them like they support me. So Mike and Mike have a really cool... Yeah, Mike and Mike have a great podcast.

I listen to it all the time. Yeah, so if you're in Greenland, I think they're looking for a listener in Greenland. The listener in Greenland? Yeah, Greenland and Madagascar.

Right. The sparsely populated interior countries of Africa, any of those. Well, yeah, pretty much right around the area where they grow the Cameroon tobacco. I think they don't have their listener base there yet, but they're working on it.

Yeah, and I think today, or yesterday, or whatever, they got a cease and desist from the Bang Energy Drink people basically saying, He's saying, "We watched your show, we thought this would be a good idea to have you guys be the official drink of this thing for nothing more than a case a week, but actually on second thought, this is detrimental to our brand. And also, please refrain from using the phrase 'tastes like diabetes'. " Essentially, it was basically a breakup letter. That's fantastic.

It's not you, it's me. Right. Yeah, I mean, we love that you love us, but please stop talking about us. You're fucking our brand up.

Okay, in 1972, Apple ate the last six minutes of the show, so I had to pull it from the video again, so our apologies, but here is the final portion of the show. I got no excuse. I mean, I didn't think to do it, but I just hurriedly threw that one together because we had the event going outside. - Right, and a storm coming.

- Storm coming, and all sorts of shit. - Yeah, we had to get the show up over the weekend 'cause we were afraid the internet was going to be down. - Listen, Mike, it's okay. I'm not mad at you.

- I'm sorry. - You're still the best producer in the business, you know? And now you're committed to this team like no other. - I'm going to talk here to anyone.

- It's never going to happen. - Me and your wife will get you drunk and they'll take you over. - It still wouldn't happen. - Yeah.

- You have a better chance of getting drunk into a fight. - Well, that's not even a... I don't really fight. I'm not a violent person.

I'm very easygoing. What? Yeah, noncontroversial. What?

Swear to God. It's toxic working right here every day. It's toxic working right here. And when you talk to grandmothers all over them about their children, you're scared of them.

It was just nice. It was nice to see, and I wanted her to know. Hey, lady, that's a nice-looking kid. Like, you know, you don't see, I don't know, you don't see a lot of grandparents that are like...

I mean, at least I don't see a lot of grandparents that are super gung-ho about being a grand... Grandpa Mike's looking forward to his first granddaughter. Fuck, yeah, that's gonna be epic, are you kidding me? I thought you were gonna say something earlier, like, oh no, that's my kid, or something like that.

Now go get Grandpa a beer. So hell yeah. Okay. That's all I had to say.

So that was a commercial? Did we talk before or after about doing a show in the car? Before the video fucked up, or the audio fucked up and didn't go? I think it was before.

Before? Yeah. You know, one day, at this rate, with the amount of Patreons that we have, in about three more years, you'll be able to buy a computer. It won't be Apple, because they're going to turn yours on.

That's right. They're going to shut yours down. They're going to shut it down, because it works like diabetes. Yeah.

" Tastes like diabetes. " There's another Patreon level. I have a couple of shirts that I want to make just for this podcast. I have a guest for this podcast.

Oh, do you really? Yeah, I do. Are you going to sell them or give them one? I have no idea.

I just want to wear them. Oh. Well, there you go then. Give them your influence.

However that parlay is, that parlays. But, you know, my only concern is to put it on. That'll be epic. All right.

Only three and a half minutes. One of them I don't know how we could sell. Like, I just think that... Well, what are they?

I can't tell you. Let's get a little more time now. No, no, no. I can't tell you what they are.

Why? If I tell you where they are, then they're not as funny. Well, I'm gonna see it. You're gonna see it.

Is it gonna embarrass me? Is it a shot at me? It's just gonna be funny. Just tell me what it is.

I can't do that. Well, when are you gonna make the shots? I don't know, but I meant to do it the last one. The last podcast?

Yeah. Oh, so you're gonna do it and wear it on the show? Yeah. Do like an unveiling, just ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch.

Oh, it's a boom. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. " Somebody order a pizza? No, you don't have any money to pay for that?

Sure, we could work something out. All right, cool. So, yeah. All right.

Again, thank you, Mark Gordon. Mark? We hope you enjoyed being on the show. You're a great friend.

We appreciate you. I'm begging you not to put this on. Why? We appreciate you coming on the show.

We appreciate you being a great friend, man. I mean, you've been a friend for almost a decade at this point, so. The only customer you've ever locked in the shop. Yeah, the only one that's ever been locked in.

And to this day, he's still smoking the cigars that he stole that day. Oh, I'm locked in, that's cool. So there might be camera footage somewhere. There were fake cameras back then, they couldn't afford the wiring.

Oh, thank God. The struggle was real. I don't even think we had cameras back then. Realistically.

Alright, everybody, thanks for listening, this has been an episode, uh, that's the one downfall to this Mike 86, is that I have to constantly adjust. I feel like I should look at the camera. Alright, everybody, we're gonna go, bye. Bye.

This has been a Cigar Hustlers Podcast, a Mike and Mike Production. m. for all new episodes. Hi, I'm Hustoly Raw.

Yeah, we just don't have to do a single podcast ever again. Perfect. I'm good, Mike and Mike. How are you guys doing?

I don't even have to try it. We're going to cover a lot of ground here, Mike. All right. Try to keep up.

That's a sign of a good podcast. I'm going to be like four cigars when I walked in the door. Alright, end this.

Show Notes

At the last event at Cigar Hustler one of the raffle prizes was an opportunity to be a guest on the podcast.  The lucky winner was Mr. Mark Gordon.  Mark is a good friend to us as well as the show.  He has been frequenting the shop since it opened 8 yrs ago.

This episode almost has no technical issues, untill the last segment of the show!  The 1972 apple ate the last 6 minutes and left us with just dead air.... seeing this was not the first time it was hungry I pulled the audio again from the video and did the best I could....

If you would like to become a Sponsor of the show and help us replace the 1972 Apple and have no more technical problems....LOL..jump over to www.patreon.com/acigarhustlerspodcast and become a Patron!!

As always we welcome your thoughts, show ideas and guest suggestions on our FB page, "A Cigar Hustlers Podcast".  You can follow the show on IG @cigarhustlerspodcast, Mikey @cigarhustlers and "Mike Too" @fcc_mike.

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