Holiday Redux Episode 330 Mrs Brittany Comes For A Visit
Episode Summary
Episode 330 of A Cigar Hustler's Podcast is a holiday redux with a twist: Mike "BDP" Palmer and engineer Phil are joined in studio by Brittany Szczepankewicz, while co-host Mike Szczepankewicz phones in from Nicaragua. Mike walks through his trip — landing in Costa Rica, a day and a half in San Juan del Sur, and walking across the border on foot to be picked up by a driver holding a sign reading "Michael Joseph" — before heading up to Estelí. He describes the five-hour, 180-mile drive, the police and traffic checks, the small handful of restaurants in town, and hunting for the right meal after a few days of travel eating.
On the cigar side, Mike is at the RoMa Craft factory focused on production and blending. He mentions smoking a new test blend of the Warbird and a new CRAFT, and says he's working to solidify plans for a possible CRAFT release this year rather than another two-year hiatus, plus a brand-new core line blend. He also teases a returning Warbird size for the line's 10-year anniversary, and name-checks Skip Martin and Alex Kenevich around the factory.
The back half is a light-hearted interview with Brittany, who answers a set of questions she's had two weeks to prepare for: Mikey's superpower (Hulk strength and unbridled anger), his movie character (Russell Crowe's Maximus in Gladiator), his constant flexing in every reflective surface, and the three things he'd take to a desert island — cold plunge, hot box, and red light therapy. She also details the daily reality of keeping him running: pre-portioned pills in dime bags, beetroot powder, protein shakes and prepped meals, the chicken-juice Tupperware in his backpack, the broken vacuum that ended his floor duty, and the mystery voices coming from his phone all night. The episode closes with Phil's Fun Facts on tobacco cultivation and weed control, and Brittany's shop of the week, Smoke on the Water.
In This Episode
- 01Calling Mike in NicaraguaMike Szczepankewicz phones in from the RoMa Craft factory, hunting for a room with better acoustics and decent Wi-Fi.
- 02Crossing the Border on FootThe trip from Costa Rica to San Juan del Sur to Estelí, including walking across the border alone and a five-hour drive over 180 miles.
- 03Life and Food in EstelíHotels, the three restaurants in town, steakhouses, cheeseburgers and the realities of travel plumbing.
- 04Factory Work: Warbird, CRAFT and a New Core LineMike discusses a new Warbird test blend, a possible CRAFT release this year, a 10-year anniversary Warbird size returning, and a brand-new core line blend in development.
- 05Phil's Fun Facts: Tobacco CultivationWhy tobacco is labor-intensive — high nitrogen needs and almost no weed control options, requiring up to five cultivations during early growth.
- 06Brittany's Q&A: Superheroes, Gladiators and FlexingBrittany answers rapid-fire questions about Mikey as a superhero, movie character, animal and musician.
- 07Life at Home with MikeyPill packing in dime bags, cold plunge and hot box routines, the broken vacuum, dirty Tupperware in the backpack, and chronic lateness.
- 08Shop of the Week and House TalkBrittany picks Smoke on the Water as shop of the week, plus stories about the kids' takeover of the big room and the beautiful front door that doesn't work.
Brands & Cigars Discussed
Linked items are in our shop. Mentions without a link aren’t currently stocked or couldn’t be matched with confidence.
Transcript
Happy New Year, and welcome to a Holiday Redux, episode 330, Miss Brittany comes to the podcast. Everybody stand by. Industry is in the house. P.
Yeah, I'm dead. It's my destiny. Make way for the king. Another Mike and Mike production.
In three, three, three, two, two, one, one, zero. Welcome to Cigar Hustlers Podcast, episode 330, recorded live at the Mike & Mike production studios in Delta, Florida. This is Cigar Hustlers Podcast, the show where two guys, or one guy, one girl, share their passion for cigars, business, and life. Join Mike/Britney, the Queen, Stepankiewicz, and his co-host Mike BDP Palmer as they talk about the latest cigar news, reviews, tips, and interviews some of the most influential people in the cigar industry.
And me, I'm their engineer and sound tech, Phil. Whether you're a seasoned aficionado or a curious beginner, this podcast is for you. Sit back, relax, and line up a cigar with Cigar Oster's Podcast. Very casual, Phil, today.
Casual. Welcome to the Cigar Oster Podcast, a show brought to you commercial-free, but a massive shout-out to our amazing patrons on the Patreon. Thank you for your unwavering support. We're able to deliver unfiltered, unbiased opinions on all things cigars and personalities in the cigar world.
Your backing makes it possible for us to keep it real for our listeners. Cheers to you. com and search A Cigar Hustlers Podcast. Try to get through that quick.
All right, we're going to call Mikey now. We've got go to two. We've got the lovely Brittany Stefan Kevich here today, and he has no idea. Hello.
So it's no idea. No, I knew it's do you. Would you say it's our podcast or do you say it's yours? It's mine.
It's hers. See, it's a family. Oh, this is a nice shot. Oh, can you, can we see him on the video, no, we're not done, we should put a cool picture, I'll put up a nice picture, there he is, hello Michael, can you center yourself, this is awkward, I can't see you, nobody else can see you either, is he in the tub, are you in the tub, Boots wants to know, I'm in the tub, oh, it sounds like you're in the tub, that's a totally different thought, I'm actually sitting in like the front room where Romacraft has everything on display.
Very echoey. Mm, echoey. Oh, they have their own Four Seasons hotel. Yes, yes, the Romacraft Four Seasons.
Nice. Okay, well, let me move to another room. You gotta move to another room. Find something a little less.
The Wi-Fi is excellent, so if you could, same Wi-Fi, better sound quality. That's the sound quality. If that's possible. Yeah.
Skip does not sound like this when he does shows. No, he sounds perfect. Skip sounds good. Did you fall down?
What was that noise? The Wi-Fi is getting worse. Oh, man. Does he still have the scooter?
No? No, no, he's not. He's on two feet. Oh.
How's that? Say something else. How's that? That's better.
A little better, yeah. A little better. Now where are you? There's a lot of boxes behind you.
Start filling the pockets. He's in the closet. I'm in the 80s. Oh, Wi-Fi's worse.
You're lagging. Wi-Fi's worse. Sound is better. We asked for same Wi-Fi, better sound.
He's moving. I'm going back to the other room. Doesn't Skip have a sound room for this type of stuff there? Sure he will.
No. How about Jason? Ask Jason where he goes. Who's Jason?
Who's... I'm not sure. I got the name wrong, apparently. Yeah, you do.
You mean Alex? Yeah, that guy. Yeah, Alex. Ask Alex where he goes.
Jason used to work there. I don't remember who Jason is. No, Jason does work there. He's a new guy.
Jason's a new guy. You haven't met him yet? No, no. He's the guy that Mikey doesn't like because he didn't do the interview.
Oh, that's right. He's not there. Yeah. Or Jeff.
How's it? Ah, you know, we'll take what we can get, I guess. Yeah. It is fun just watching you walk around, though.
Yes. Would you like to be introduced to this week's guest? Perfect. Yeah.
Okay. Congratulations, Michael. Hey! We spent no expense.
No expense. I'm about to do the podcast. I just texted you. We were afraid you were gonna call, he was not going to answer.
No wonder why the kids have to go to school. Yes, well, Jax is next door. Yes. Rating the root beers.
Yes, they're delicious. Yeah, it's not feeling well, so I'm sure that, you know, those would go over perfect. It must affect his volume in speaking because he's very low talking today. Oh, he's trying to spell it.
Yeah. So, what's been going on? Here, you can tell your wife. What?
Hi! You have to talk, Brittany. What is a sexy podcast that she has on? Oh, thank you very much.
Or were you telling her about me? You traded that? No, no, talking to me. No, no, no, no.
It's about you. So, landed in Costa Rica, was at San Juan del Sur for a day and a half. Drove up to Escoli last night. I smoked the new test plan on the Warbear, smoked the new SBC last night.
Wait, wait, wait. You're going too fast. You're going too fast. Get back to staying at Skip's house.
This sounds like a dream. Okay. I'm going. I'm listening.
Was there a guest room or did you have Fiorella's room? I believe it was Fiorella's room. Was the bed extremely small, like at the house in Texas? No.
What? Oh, I had to sleep. She had a, when I was there, she had a children's size bed. So I got it.
Like a toddler bed? Yeah, I got the toddler bed. Oh. Michael got the king size in the adjoining room.
Naturally. Well, he's bigger. He's not that bigger. But it's fine.
Go ahead. What'd you have for dinner? Uh, last night I had a cheeseburger. There'll be an Instagram video for that.
I will post that. Oh. Yeah. I got throat footage.
But there's a cool, there's a good steakhouse here that we ate at. And the night prior. Is that where the ashtray picture came from? Yeah.
Ah. The salsa in the ashtray? Was that salsa? No.
Oh. What was in the ashtray? I don't know. Ashes?
No, no. It was red. It was some type of red liquid. In the ashtray?
Yeah. No. I think it was just the design of the ashtray. Oh, it was just the red bottom?
Oh. Yeah. I don't get too good today. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. I didn't red light this morning. I was very busy.
No red light. No red light today. It's very busy. But I did yesterday.
So I'm a day ahead. A day ahead. So that went well. So how was the smuggling from Costa Rica over to San Juan del Sur?
Yes. It was very interesting. I was dropped off and I had to walk across the border. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Back up, back up, back up, back up. Did Mute drive across the border and you weren't allowed to go? And you went across the border, and you weren't allowed in the car? Of course.
No, there was a driver. Ah, so the two of you were let out. No, the driver dropped me off there, and I walked off. Oh, by yourself?
Yeah. And then Mutay picked you up on the other side? Mutay's not here. Another driver picked me up.
Oh, so the Mutay thing didn't work out? No, no Mutay. No Mutay. Did they put a blindfold on you?
No. No blindfold. Was it hard to clench your ass to keep the drugs in? I've heard that can be difficult.
Dude, you don't want to mess around with that shit here. I've crossed Chinese borders, yeah, it's not fun at all. No. The walking part is a little unnerving, I have to admit.
Yeah. The semi-truck line is like, it's two days long in order to get in from one test to the other. Two days? Yeah.
That's the Chinese border where your brother got taken in the back room and disappeared for about 15 minutes. Well, he asked for that. He might have. I don't know.
It was like nothing I can do. I'm just like, keep going. You know, you guys let me through a little too fast. You might want to check me.
I need a story for later. Can you check that again for me, please? Right. Did you type in the name right?
It's got a lot of consonants in it. I'm going to need you to go deeper. Deeper. Oh, Lord.
Okay, so you crossed the border and got picked up by another random guy. Was that guy waiting for you? Did he have a sign or something? Or did you just pick a driver?
Yeah, Mr. Stepankevich. That guy was waiting for me. Just like Vegas.
We always wanted that, remember? Senor Stepankevich was written on the sign? No. Oh.
Senor Mike. Was there two signs? It's a long name. No.
The person at the airport and Michael Joseph. Oh, oh, oh, they couldn't spell the last one, the name is Michael Joseph, Stepan Kavich, huh, K, no bueno, Michael Joseph, we go with that, no, the problem with the remote podcast is that you can bring your talk over me and it can't threat me, oh, you can still threat me, it just doesn't mean anything, he's starting to melt, I could see it in his face, he's starting to melt down, he's gonna lose his shit soon, go ahead, Michael, well elaborate on your stories, you're leaving out a lot of good details, I mean, I'm trying to, but he keeps fucking talking over me, and it's impossible. Well, you went from landing at the airport to the factory, all in the same sentence. Yeah, because that's where the cigar part happens.
You saw the sunset. Oh, nice. Yeah, oh yeah, I saw the sunset with Skip. Ah, lovely.
And the sunrise. I sent pictures to my wife. This is what happens. Like, I try and send pictures to my wife so that, you know, she can appreciate these things, because I wish she was here with me.
" Was it from the pool? 'Cause I heard you put on your bathing suit. I did put on my bathing suit. It was not from the pool.
Oh. That's when you found the... That's when you found the gift? Yes.
Yes. Which I will be placing the gift here. You'll what? I'll hide it from the gift here, please.
Thank you. Yeah, leave it there at the factory somewhere. Yeah. In the smoking room or somebody's office or something.
Is there something? No, it's going to go over the display room. Oh, okay, perfect. Not on the nightstand?
No, no, no. No, he's staying in a hotel. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah.
So, who lives in the apartment there now at the factory? Greg was just telling me that Skip doesn't live there anymore. They rented it. Oh, I thought it was like over the factory.
No. You know, that's funny because we were having a conversation. When are you going to come down to me? Me?
Yeah, you. So, I don't know, whenever I don't have to be smuggled across the border, I guess. Yeah, you should come. Maybe when your family goes, I'll go too.
Oh, wow. Brittany was telling me how much he's looking forward to that. I think realistically, what would probably happen is that those are two steps of trips. I would do just like San Juan the Surf for a weekend, and I might, you know, I was talking to Brittany about just going with her and leading kids.
Oh, that would, with who? You can leave with us, we'll go stay at your house with the killer dogs and the butt checker dog. I can see your face pretty. I can see your face.
Oh my god. Close it to the microphone. Sorry. Sorry.
There you go, there you go. I don't know, we'll have to see, I'd love to make a trip down there. That's not what you just said. It's for the show.
We were just for the show. Oh, sorry, sorry. Over 50, being smuggled, sounds like a real candidate for a sexual slave. Last trip I ever make a painting, right?
White hair, pale, yeah, I'll blend in. I'll escape and run out in the city, still find me. See Palmer on the corner later. Fake in Spanish, putting an "O" on the end of every word.
Hello-o. Hello-o. No, hello-o, Rico. What?
What's really kind of crazy about the trip from San Juan de Sur to Espanee is only 180 miles, it's almost five hours. Oh, a lot of dirt roads? There's a lot of traffic and stuff for me. So, crazy.
Border patrols, traffic checks. There's a lot of police. A lot of police. Great.
So, it's not like a highway? It is, but what happens is this highway has- It's a third-world highway. It's a third-world highway. It has motorcycles on it, like, third bikes and shit, and then what happens is people will pass you, and then they'll just slow down right in front of you, like a one-way new one.
So, let's do this job to get paid. That sounds like you driving. Sounds like China. Do they have horns on the bikes and motorcycles?
That's big in China with the beep beep, beep beep. Yeah. Yeah, that's annoying. All right.
So now you're at the factory and everything's safe. It's easier to get back from there to the airport, I heard? Well, driving to Managua is a shorter trip from that to me, that area. Gotcha.
And I'm in that country and stuff. You know, yeah, that'll, knock on wood, that should go okay, um, yeah, you know, the hotel's a little hotel, it's, uh, it's different, it's just a different world here, man, I don't know how to explain it, but it's a totally different world. And, um, you know, there's like three restaurants you can eat at. That one looked nice from last night, from the photo with the ashtray without the saws in it, that looked like a decent place.
Yeah, that's the, that's like one of the three. And that's where you got, is that where you got the hamburger? Yes. Are you guaranteed it was beef or could it be something else?
Oh, no, it's definitely beef. Just curious. You got a hamburger at the stand, please? What?
You got a hamburger at the stand, please? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we ate at a, a place in San Juan, the search one, three tacos, and it was really nice, and I had, I had a steak that night, and I had like this, they have like a cheese here, and I was pretty bound up, so I was looking for something with a little more grease, to get things done, to get a little more flowy, to get a little more flowy, to get a little more regular.
Are they North American toilets there? Uh, no. What do you mean? Like the toilets are, but you're not supposed to flush toilet paper down the toilet.
Yeah, well I assume that from Skip's story about Buster eating the dirty toilet paper. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
But at the Hex Hotel, you can. You can use your flushing. Oh. Gotcha.
It's more the sitting and the flushing. I don't care where the paper goes. It's like in China, sometimes there's just a hole, and you put a foot on either side, and you gotta squat. No, there's actual toilets.
Actual toilets. Gotcha. Yeah. Well, that's good to know.
So far, it sounds like a lovely trip. Was that China, or were you remembering Vietnam? Both. Oh, okay.
In Vietnam, there's no porcelain. It's just the dirt. Go ahead, Michael. It is a lovely trip, man.
It's cool. You know, it's important to be here to see what's going on and focus on production. All right. Sure.
I understand why you're there. I mean, that makes complete sense. Yeah. So, you know, all that stuff is always fascinating.
And then, you know, Alex is down here. He's now circling close to the vicinity. So what are you working on today, or this week, or this trip, or whatever? Well, I'm trying to solidify the water, possibly an FDC for this year.
Oh, not the two-year hiatus. Not the two-year hiatus, and then we're working on a new blend, a new core line blend that we're going to produce. Oh, what's the new water? It's one of those things.
Go ahead. What's the new Warbear 1? What's the new Warbear 1? What's the new Warbear 1?
Is it going to be a different size, another box press? Yeah. Is it going to be a burger roll? It's going to be a different size.
It's going to be the same one. It's going to be a different size. It's going to be cool. This one's been 10 years, so this one's going to be back out.
Gotcha. You normally tell you what's going to happen? Big year. Yeah.
Oh yeah, the 10 year anniversary. Yeah. I can't believe it's been 10 years. It's crazy.
It's crazy. It's crazy. Bye bye. So what else is going on?
We have an interview scheduled with Brittany. We can't be talking to you all day. Oh, okay. That's it.
That's it? Am I okay with this interview? I'm not sure. We're not asking.
She's seen all the questions prior to the interview. Oh. If that makes you feel any better at all. That does not make me feel any better.
I wasn't sure. I just thought I'd throw that out. Okay. - All right, does Alex Jason want to say hello?
- No, he just walked away. - Oh, okay. - Goodbye, Alex Jason. - Can you walk, can you, we can't see the video, does it?
I was gonna say, can you walk us through the factory, but it doesn't matter, no video. - No, I'll put up some videos, so I'll build some things. I just built a, like, Instagram reel for the trip over here, which is pretty good. - Ah, something cap-cutty?
- Something very cap-cutty. - Good, excellent, we love those here. - Yeah. - All right, well-- - Do you need anything to add?
- Go ahead. - No. Oh, yeah. Would you like to say anything to your lovely wife?
I love you and I miss you. Love you and miss you, too. I love you and miss you, too, if it matters. I love you and miss you, too.
Greg's upstairs doing nothing, just so you know where you're going. Super busy. Super busy. He did go see Island Gym over the weekend.
Oh, yeah? He didn't sell anything. Of course he did. Basically, he went to St.
Augustine for the weekend. He went to the store where they sell islands. That could be the way the story goes. I'm not sure.
I asked him if he bought anything and he said no. Like, okay. All right. All right, well, this has been fun.
Thank you very much. We're taking the time to talk to us today, Mr. Stepankiewicz. Well, thank you so much for having me.
It's been wonderful fun. Oh, no, no. Thank you. Yes.
We get a lot of compliments from our audience. Thank you. All right, we'll talk to you later. Bye, babe.
Love you. Bye. I'm going to hang this up for the X. Oh, good, he hung up.
I get these random text messages from a lady named Lillian, who owns a house somewhere, and they want to buy the house, and I always tell them that she died, and that we've given the house to the kids or something like that. So that's what my phone just went off. And they keep texting you? Yes.
Lillian loves again. m. at Beth's Burger Bar. oh did it cost for the ticket take it i don't even know if they're in florida show up free burger the free burger i'm with lillian party of two i am lillian i am lillian she's parking the car all right oh oh the answer wow that's weird but you normally don't reply back yeah i don't know what's going on over there national promo alert you have been unsubscribed and will no longer receive messages excellent i want to block that number that's a lie it's always a different number It's never the same people.
Yeah. All right. It's weird. My phone number must be one digit off or she used my phone number in something so they didn't call her.
Yeah. It's like one of those. You feel awkward. Right.
Do you want to do your fill fun facts right now? Sure. Put your mask back on. Yeah.
What time is it? How much time? Where are we at? We're at 20.
OK. And then we'll get into the interview with the lovely Brittany Stubban cabbage. So nervous. You'll be fine.
You can just make up answers. It doesn't matter. All right, that was it. You ready over there?
Yep. Change the camera. Welcome to Cigar Hustlers podcast feature, Phil's Fun Facts. Hello, peoples.
All right. Still playing, sorry. Go ahead. Tobacco production is a labor-intensive endevore.
Wait, endeavor. Yeah, that one. Not only are the plants high users of nitrogen, there are very few weed control options for the crop. Is your brain in your sleeves, maybe?
Is that the problem? Yeah. Farmers can sometimes cultivate up to five times during early growth. This involves running an implement over the field, turning the dirt so weeds get knocked back.
Just like Phil knocking kids back to get first in line at the churro stand. - Wow. - Bill's Fun Facts brought you by Cigar Housers Podcast, Patreon, and Bray's Ranch in Waldo, Florida. Follow them at Bray's Ranch, uh, ampersine Bray's Ranch on Instagram or Facebook for regular ranch updates and news on the beef availability.
- Beef. - Beef. - All right, back to two. - What's for dinner?
All right, you ready here, Mrs. Stavonkiewicz? I guess so. All right, Mike, he was a superhero.
What would his superpower be and why? Oh, yes. I mean, Hulk. So it'd be strength?
Yes. I mean, I feel like that is just... Unbridled anger? I mean, he was angry on the phone.
Perfect. That was, you know, I like that one. Unbridled anger. That was very mellow for him, to be honest.
Oh, I know. You listen, yeah, you listen. If Brittany wasn't here, he would have been a lot more angry. Oh, yeah.
I gotta bring them down sometimes. All right. If Mikey was a movie character, who would they be and why? Who would he be?
I guess. Who would he be? A movie? So what is it?
The gladiator? Is that? Yeah. The main character?
The main. Yeah. I mean. Maximus, whatever it is.
Is it Russell Crowe? Russell Crowe. Yep. I asked Jack.
Jack, help me with that. Ah. So I'm looking at the questions and I'm like. You would walk around flexing, yelled, aren't you entertained?
And all the time. All the time. All the time. He walks around flexing now.
Oh, I catch him flexing all the time. Oh. Upstairs. Anything that's got a reflection?
Oh. Yeah. " Yeah, when we shared a room in Vegas, I caught him flexing often. All the time.
All the time. All the time. Do you have to flex to brush your teeth? Yes.
Because there's water in the sink. That's right. Well, the big mirror in the bathroom. Oh, yeah.
A lot of reflections going on. I don't know. There was a mayor that faces shower. I imagine he had a great time in there, flexing all the time while he's washing.
What's the funniest thing Mikey ever said or has done in the house or at home, I guess? You know, I really, I was looking at that one. I couldn't, I'm the funny one, obviously, so I couldn't really think of, yeah, he's not. No, I agree.
But if he does do something funny or says something funny. Right. He like, like, what's the saying? Like, beats it like a dead horse.
Like he'll keep doing it. Yeah, I'm like, okay. All right, we get it. He does to you what he does to me.
You'll say something. Nobody hears it. So he takes it. Yep.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Or, or if like he says something and I don't respond, he repeats himself. And I'm like, I heard you.
He goes, well, you didn't, you know, it's like you always got to give him that little. Right. He's got a good job. Good job.
Nice job. Nice job. If Mikey could be any animal, what would he be? That was it easy.
I mean, other than the silverback? The big silverback gorilla, yeah. Lion. Oh.
Bull? I don't know why I'm writing down your answers, but it seems necessary. I don't know. What is the most memorable or quirky habit Mikey has, other than the flexing?
Because that started when he started working out. Oh, no, he's always, he's his biggest fan. Like, he's always, always looking at himself and, you know, oh my gosh. There are so many things.
So, okay, well, one thing that he does that really, really irritates me is when he's like cooking, right? He wipes his dirty hands on the dish towel. Where should he wipe? Like rinse, you rinse and then you dry off.
Oh, okay, he doesn't wash them. Yeah, he just goes from this wipes from the fucking avocado on the dish towel. And I'm like, you need to wash your hands. Well, does he do the laundry?
That's why. No. He barely does the floors. No.
No, he stopped vacuuming. Oh, he doesn't do the floors anymore? He doesn't do the floors anymore? He doesn't do the floors anymore.
Oh, he gave that up, did you, Mikey? I broke the vacuum. Oh. The little-- The robots?
Well, those things are good to shit. Those have been going for a long time. Yeah. Yeah, we didn't like those either.
And then we got a new one that still didn't like anything. The one, it's got like a green light on it. Yeah. And so it's pretty cool.
You can see everything that you suck up. Well, I broke it by accident. Oh. It like green lights the floor?
Yeah. Since then, he like quit vacuuming. So now there's just dog hair everywhere. What does he do now?
He does nothing now. No, he hasn't. Nothing. No new chores, Michael.
Hmm. In trouble. How long has that vacuum been broken? Because it came up a couple episodes ago, and he said he still does it.
Yeah, I think it was like two or three episodes ago. He said he still does it close. No. No, it's been it's been a few months.
Yeah, it's been a while. No. You know, when he hears this episode, he's going to listen back to see how the episode was. Oh, yeah.
Anyway, it was still I was all right. If Mikey suddenly became a famous musician, what type of music would he perform? And what would his stage name be? Oh, please call us this one, no, go to three, go back and forth.
I don't know. I know you're enjoying the show over there, but I don't know about a stage name, right? But like music wise, he listens to all different kinds of music, right? Listen to all like you could be it could be like Biggie Smalls.
And then all of a sudden it's like, uh, what is it? Like, like, Disney show tunes and stuff. Yeah. Yeah, right in the car with him.
It's, it's just crazy. Yeah. Yeah. And, um, so maybe, maybe rap.
He actually will be singing the theme from Frozen and then we go into death metal or rap. Right. He actually does have a really good voice. I feel like he can sing his go to karaoke song back a long time ago.
Oh, my gosh. Oh, please tell us. Please, please. And then we're going to play that, don't we?
Barbara Stratton. Hold on, hold on, hold on. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. The Wind Beneath My Wings.
Oh my God, I can't think of it. It's like right here. Oh, I should have wrote it down. But yeah.
Who sings it? I want to dance with somebody. No, it's not that. Sing a few bars.
Sing a few bars. It's not that. Oh my gosh, I can't think about it. Should have been a cowboy cowboy cowboy cowboy cowboy cowboy.
No, no, it wasn't that. Oh my gosh. Okay, maybe it'll come to me. All right, we'll come back to that.
All right, come back, come back to number six. Okay. If Mikey was stranded on a deserted island, what three things would he bring? I honestly wrote down three things, but he is such a needy person that I don't think that he could.
I mean, so I wrote down cold plunge, hot box, red light. Okay. There's so many other things. It's like, you need, he needs his protein powder.
He needs his water for his Mio. he's got the CPAP the fucking amount of pills he takes on a daily basis like I the water pick the water pick oh well he didn't take it with him this time the eyeball massager he said he told you to cut back on some of the supplies the speaker he needs a speaker that we didn't I didn't pack the speaker um yeah so I don't know what he's doing at night time yeah what's he doing at night which is another thing that freaks me the fuck out when there's a man voice all right no no no Yeah, we're going to talk about that in a minute, too, because there's nobody else other than the three of us that have experienced this. Oh my God, he's going to kill me. Oh, man.
Kill you, he's going to kill us. You're going to go free. What's the weirdest or most unexpected item you think you'd find in Mikey's backpack? Okay.
So, I mean, there's definitely some Excedra migraine or Advil pills just rolling around in there. His lunchbox, can I say, okay, his lunchbox, obviously in his backpack, but the fact that when he's done eating his chicken or his steak, he just throws his Tupperware in there and there's fucking chicken and steak juice that gets everywhere. And it's like so frustrating. You know how long it took me to get him to put it back in the backpack?
Normally it was all upstairs. Like, I mean, I just, I told him, like, there's literally nothing else I can, more I could do other than the next step would be washing you. And I'm not doing that. I make it so easy for you.
Just close the fucking Tupperware and put it back in. I picture you with a giant brush. He's in the shower. Well, he does have a giant brush.
No, but you were doing it. Oh, no, I'm not going there. I'm not going that far. No, no.
While he's in there, he's brushing and he's red lighting, too. Wow. Yeah, he red lighted in the bathroom when he was getting ready. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. I lost my place. Sorry. Time management.
If Mikey could swap jobs with any of the employees upstairs, who do you think it would be? Greg. -To do nothing. -No, I don't know.
I don't, I mean, I don't think you, you don't want to stand behind a bar. He doesn't want to. -Yeah. All right.
What's the most creative or unusual excuse he's made for being late or missing something? -Well, he's late all the time. It's always like-- -I'm glad you said that. -Yeah, he is.
-He's always late. -What does he always tell us? -I'm on my way. -Oh, okay.
-Well, he's never late. Oh, because he's the constant that our world should revolve around. Yeah. So you know how like you see all those old men in the mall and they're always waiting on their wives?
Like that's gonna be me sitting with the men waiting on Mikey. Like he's in the store still. Always the last one out of the house. Like when we're in the car, me and the kids are in the car, and here he comes, you know, shuffling out and then he's got to get his water and his energy drink and his coffee and, you know, or we're getting ready to leave.
I was at the other day to go somewhere and all of a sudden he's clipping his toenails. I'm like, you couldn't do this like when we just saw they were super long. I'm like, it's not Sunday night. Stop.
I like and I said to him, because he does it over the toilet. So then I went to go pee and I fucking sat on a toenail. And I'm like, come on, like, or it's always I mean. He forgot this or it's on his phone.
Somebody like. Just calls, and he doesn't know appropriate timing of maybe when to take a call and when not to take a call, you know, it's like we're unloading the car at groceries and his phone rings and I'm like, Hold on, I'll be right back. Yeah, I'm like, hello? I'll just keep working, Michael, you take the call.
I mean, maybe it's appropriate for him at that time. I'm like, come on, man. Like, okay, let's get back to the sound things at night. He does that every single night?
Yeah, so it started out with like just music, like a light, you know, but then one night I woke up and I'm like, what the fuck, it's like either a woman's voice or there was a male's voice one time. Yeah, I think it's the first night there was a man's voice. Yeah. And I thought he was talking in his sleep because you can't understand what they're saying.
Oh, no, he don't talk in his sleep. He jumps and runs in his sleep. Right, I thought maybe this was something new. Oh, no, no, no, no.
Because I woke up and I'm looking at him and I go, the sound's coming from his bed. With his CPAP on? No, he didn't have it on because he was having nasal problems when we were out there. Yeah.
But then after I like we just do music, maybe it's just music because the talking's a little creepy. It is. It is. I know.
I have no idea what you were saying, but you're mumbling all night long. Well, it's from that book you read. Probably, probably some book. And then he also plays it when he goes into the cold plunge in the house.
How can he hear? So like if I'm in the, well, he doesn't. He doesn't put his head under. No.
I mean, he does close the thing. Well, no, he can't close the freezer. He'd die. Like, yeah, well, it's sort of locked, you know, that's why they take the refrigerator doors off when you throw an old refrigerator away, maybe I'm thinking about the other thing, the hot box, yeah, the hot box, yeah, I don't think his hot box does his head, does it, his hot box, his head sticks out, his head sticks out, yeah, you know, I never understood, like, he has so many things that he does, when I go to their house, like, I don't see all these things everywhere, there's just so much, I know you clean it up, I'm not saying that you don't clean it up, I'm just saying, like, well, the freezer's in the garage, you would think that there's just, like, massive amount of things just all over the place.
The hotbox used to be in the bedroom, is it still in the bedroom? No, because... It used to be like in the corner. So the hotbox is not in there anymore, it gets folded up and put in the garage, because it comes out on the patio, and he brings out his Xbox, and he smokes cigars, playing Xbox, and hotboxing on the patio.
Brittany has a full-time job. I do. Oh, yeah. And then there's the kids.
And then there's the kids. The children eat stuff every once in a while. I took a picture the other day, I'm going to send it to you, of his, of his setup for if it's a gym day, you know, because like, he has this ability to, he's always trying new things, obviously, you know that, you know, and he'll like, show me, like, oh, this is what I'm doing. And then all of a sudden, it just kind of becomes my job.
Like, he just stops doing it. He still wants, he wants the benefits of it, but he doesn't want to do the prep. Yeah. And then sometimes he'll be like, oh, you know, I think I'm going to stop taking those pills, which is him letting me know, don't pack those for me anymore.
I've moved on. You know what I mean? And I separate them from the little trays or whatever you haven't sewn up in. So I put them in dime bags now.
Oh, um, I've seen the little bags. Yeah. So how many do you make in advance? Um, seven, seven.
Yeah, a week at a time. Wait, why did he put them in Dimebag's eyes? Because he forgot to take them before? Because, well, they're not all taken at the same time.
Oh, that's right. Every time of the day. And so like his beetroot powder, I put in a little bag. Because if I didn't do these things for him, and I've done it to myself, you know.
Yeah, it's your own fault. But if I did not have these things set up, it would take him probably two hours to get out of the house. Because he would have to do it. He would have to do it.
And then he gets distracted, and then it's like, you know. I'm not gonna beat him up on this. I mean, Tia used to do a lot of things for me, but recently, like, probably like, I don't know, three, four weeks ago, she was tired of the pill shit, right, so like, 'cause she used to always refill my pill box and that, I don't know, so she just stopped fucking doing it, and then there was one day, I just didn't take my pills, and I felt horrible, like, my blood pressure was going all out of whack and shit. You couldn't get your own pills.
" Tia, I'm dying, what happened to my pills? " Maybe she did it on purpose. Yeah, no, she did. Well, not to kill me.
She just went, "Oh, well, this is empty. " So now I refilled my pills. I mean, he would do it. I just, I try, I try and do what I can to make his day go smooth.
So, whether it be the frosted flakes with the spoon for the, you know, after workout meal, all his protein shakes, his chicken, his meal, his... Go on. -You've spoiled it. -Yes, I am.
-God forbid anything happens to you, I'm not doing it, so I don't know, I don't know what he's going to do. -Oh, he'll be a wreck. -Oh, I've said to him sometimes, I'm like, you know, like... -He better die before you.
-Right. -Wait, hold on. -We're not allowed to talk about dying on the show or him being dead. -Oh.
-That's not a thing anymore. We're not allowed to talk about that. -I don't like when he says those things. -Oh.
-I feel like you put it out in the universe and it's not my thing. But yeah, no, I mean, yes, I feel better. He's got like a brain thing going on over there. Oh, let's not bring that up.
Yep, feel great. I'm fine. I think you were driving. It was better.
I have to drive. Oh, OK, so it's not. Never mind. Oh, all righty.
OK, back to. I don't know. Yeah, no more questions? No, no, I only had 10.
Those you've had two weeks to think of. There's nothing like you really want to dig bubble. Oh, I know everything else. I just wanted an embarrassing kind of general questions.
Is there something else you want to share? How many times does he call you a day when he's out like this? What is expected? Um, like my wife's pretty easy.
There's a good morning text or a phone call. And then there's a before you go to bed, good night, I'm back in the hotel. So that's usually all that's expected. No, I.
Well, you know, I'm like neurotic and anxiety, so I always like to make sure that he's okay, you know, like I, and when I text him, if he doesn't text back, I'm like, okay, are you dead, you know, that's immediately what I go to. Do you see his location while he's over there? There is no pooping, there is no eating, there's nothing in between, just straight death. So he's, he's gotten better with just like communicating if he like gets on the road, you know, or whatever.
Um, I mean, I don't expect, you know, or like. So he's got his phone set up on some type of international plan while he's there, so it's always running. Yeah. Okay.
Yeah, like he FaceTimes me all like. Right, right, right. Okay, just curious. Like when I used to go to China, I would just turn the phone on airplane mode and hit Wi-Fi spots.
Oh, no, I could call him anytime. Yeah, because it got to be too expensive. Oh, no, he's. Well, he's paid by somebody else, so the phone bill.
Yeah, he'll talk to the kids, say goodnight, you know, in the morning and all that. What else? Any other questions? No.
Nothing. Wait, do you have one question? You have a question? I don't.
You have something you want to ask? No, I don't. This is the one chance. I don't.
Oh. I ask a lot of questions. There are some things in my head, but they're probably too embarrassing, so I'm not gonna ask. It might be more embarrassing to you than him, so I'm not gonna ask.
What? Tell me. No. Then I might as well have said it.
No. Oh, come on. No. All right.
I don't want to know what you want to ask. What are we at? 38 minutes. Yeah, we're okay.
It's a short show. He's out of time. All right. It's been episode 330 of the Cigar Houser Podcast with, go to three.
Right knee step on Kevin. Do you have a shop of the week? Oh, yeah. Do you have a shop of the week?
Do I have a shop of the week? If you have a shop of the week, this just completely kills Mikey because he never has a shop of the week. Right. Uh, can I do smoke on the water?
Of course. Because I just. Shop of the week, smoke on the water. I told my dad about that yesterday because he was telling me- Oh, he's just here on a visit.
Yeah, he was here yesterday. In the mani's in town. Perfect. He is.
He's at Mika's right now. I dropped them off to do a pool day. Oh. Yeah.
So, but they leave tomorrow, short. Oh, the wife was here, too? Yeah, she's here. She didn't make the photos from your father.
He posted the worst fricking photos, I swear. " It's not. People will see it. Yeah.
You're gonna tag me. It's always like the awkward poses, you know, on the side, the angles. Right. Oh, yeah.
You're at the end of the couch. Yeah. Where's the brown leather? Oh, that's the one in the main living room.
No. Well, we moved it all. Oh, we now have. I probably have not been over it a while.
No. Well, because. Not that you haven't invited. I just haven't been over.
Christmas, they got a bunch of shit. Way too much stuff. So they have taken over the big, large room. Oh, the kids stuff is in the big, large room?
Well, yeah. I mean, when you have a trampoline and a balance beam And a football-throwing game and, you know, Xboxes and... Like a Chuck E. Cheese at your house.
Uh, Hot Wheels track, Barbie Dream House. Wow. Um, yeah. Oh, with the Giant Connect Four that's made its way in there.
Axe throwing, we have axe throwing. Oh, that's that Nerf-looking thing. You had that before, I think. Yep, yep.
So now we just... Is it merged into Mika's old room now, too? No, I took over Mika's room and made it like an office craft room. Oh, good for you.
Oh, I hide in there, but then they come in there, the kids, consciously, they found me. You should make the door look like part of the drywall, right? That's sort of, that way they can't find it. It's wood, it's wood.
I don't know, put a piece of drywall on it. Well, you know, Greg's really good at building it here, so. Oh, yeah, yeah. You can make a pocket door that doesn't, you know, just blend in.
Yeah, say that to my front door. It looks like the front door. The drawbridge that has to be lowered before you come in. It doesn't work, everyone's like, oh, I love this door.
Great, it doesn't fucking work. It doesn't open it up. I can see my neighbors. Yeah.
Go around to the garage, I'll let you in. Exactly, that's what I have to do sometimes. In the summer, it swells and it sticks, and I'm like, just go to the garage. It was such a nice idea when he did it.
I mean, it's pretty. I mean, it's a thought. It's a thought. It's pretty.
It just doesn't work. I just, whenever someone's at the door now, I'll just open up the front window and be like, hey, I'm sorry, my dog. It's a drive-through, what would you like? That's a prop.
Don't worry about it. It doesn't work. The door doesn't work, just for luck. It's beautiful.
I don't think we've ever used the actual key in the door. I think when it was first built, I put my key in there, and I went to go turn it, and my key broke off in there, and that was it, so you could only use that door from the inside. From the inside, oh nice, nice. Yeah, all right, all right guys, we're gonna go, thank you very much, bye.
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Show Notes
In this episode of the Cigar Hustlers Podcast, Episode 330, we sit down with Mikey from Nicaragua, and for a special twist, we're joined by his wife, Brittany! Join us as we ask Brittany the tough and embarrassing questions about her husband, Mikey. It's sure to be a fun and revealing conversation that you won't want to miss! Tune in for some laughs, insights, and of course, plenty of cigar talk.